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I've been worshiping Christ for 15 years. But my life keeps getting worse. I've been praying also, for the 15 years. Whatever is going on with the virus I don't understand. I'll just listen to my death metal and hope the world ends soon.
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May 14, 2020 23:09
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 10:59 |
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If you want to leave Christianity behind, you will have to abandon your death metal. Only Christians listen to death metal (they may call themselves other things but a two minute convo will show how much their upbringing and morality has shaped them.) Also the world will not end. That is something a just God would do. Abandon all hope, etc.
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May 14, 2020 23:14
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You've been praying to Jesus for 15 years, but... did you ever stop to listen to what Jesus is saying back? Think about it.
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May 14, 2020 23:14
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Those places in the sand where you only see one set of footprints? That's where the big J was off up the beach flexing for the babes.
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May 14, 2020 23:18
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Yeah, who the fuxk does this Jesus guy think he is huh?!
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May 14, 2020 23:20
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I understand how you feel but life is full of unexpected twists and turns, ups and downs, you NEVER know what's around the corner... please try praying another 15 years, I think it's what Jesus would expect, and deserve, from you.
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May 14, 2020 23:30
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Obviously the answer is to convert to Buddhism
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May 14, 2020 23:54
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Holy loving poo poo dude have you looked outside recently? DO NOT STOP PRAYING. Can you loving imagine what it's going to be like if you stop praying and it gets worse? Holy god drat hell
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May 14, 2020 23:56
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"Huh, no body talking today. Maybe I should try making the air out of acid?" - God, probably
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May 14, 2020 23:58
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what were you doing for the time other than those 15 years that part seems important
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May 15, 2020 00:03
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If you're going to worship a dead god you picked the absolute lamest one.
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May 15, 2020 00:03
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The Fattest PI posted:If you're going to worship a dead god you picked the absolute lamest one. Weird posting coming from the leader of the bible study group
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May 15, 2020 00:05
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this
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May 15, 2020 00:05
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OP I've thought about this a lot and the strongest conclusion I've come to is that organised religion is bad. So maybe steal your priest's day planner?
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May 15, 2020 00:06
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it sure seems like this whole Jesus guy sure should have come back already or done something or whatever by now if whatever was gonna happen, doesn't it I mean test of faith is one thing but wow. I got places to be, Lord.
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May 15, 2020 00:10
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Perhaps you've been ignoring the all important truth about the body/mind metaphysical connection, OP? You can learn more about this and other important discoveries in the book Dianetics.
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May 15, 2020 00:15
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Renounce Jesus and return to Judaism
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May 15, 2020 00:22
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Yer not praying hard enough. Pray like you really mean it! Flagellate yourself!
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May 15, 2020 00:27
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Who What Now posted:Renounce Jesus and return to Judaism Renounce Judaism and return to whatever dumb religion the Canaanites practiced. Reconstructed Esoteric Canaanism? That sounds about right.
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May 15, 2020 00:28
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Colonel Cancer posted:Yer not praying hard enough. Pray like you really mean it! Flagellate yourself! I beat my meat constantly, am I doing it wrong?
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May 15, 2020 00:28
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According to Wiki the Cananites were a semtic tribe who worshiped El and Asherah so pretty close to proto Jews actually they just rolled with El where the Jews took Yaweh (and even had him shacking up with Asherah at times).
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May 15, 2020 00:32
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Dont worry man, after a life of worship God will bless you in the afterlife haha just kidding you will rot in the earth and face eternal nothingness loving ownedddd
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May 15, 2020 00:34
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I beat my meat constantly, am I doing it wrong?
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May 15, 2020 00:35
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Pontificating rear end posted:Dont worry man, after a life of worship God will bless you in the afterlife *Tips fedora*
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May 15, 2020 00:35
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Renounce Judaism and return to whatever dumb religion the Canaanites practiced. Reconstructed Esoteric Canaanism? That sounds about right.  and as such i aint about to step off of abrahamic religion
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May 15, 2020 00:38
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Come hang in the religion thread, OP.
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May 15, 2020 01:16
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ThePopeOfFun posted:Come hang in the religion thread, OP. Sounds like a blast.
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May 15, 2020 01:20
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Gnosticism is the official SA religion.
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May 15, 2020 01:24
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Spacegrass posted:I've been worshiping Christ for 15 years. But my life keeps getting worse. I've been praying also, for the 15 years. Whatever is going on with the virus I don't understand. I'll just listen to my death metal and hope the world ends soon. I'm getting sick of milquetoast half-assed zealots who won't step up and visit their lords.
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May 15, 2020 01:25
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I'm converting to Anton LaVey Satanism. Wish me luck, you goofy people.
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May 15, 2020 01:33
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Spacegrass posted:I've been worshiping Christ for 15 years. But my life keeps getting worse. I've been praying also, for the 15 years. Whatever is going on with the virus I don't understand. I'll just listen to my death metal and hope the world ends soon. It's all part of God's plan. The Lord moves in mysterious ways. Jesus never gives you more than you can handle. And other platitudes that are designed to make you ignore the fact that praying doesn't work.
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May 15, 2020 01:37
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Grandpa Nurgle answered my prayers. Amen.
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May 15, 2020 01:38
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Burt Sexual posted:Sounds like a blast. Lot's of blasts, mainly from the past, especially if you're talking to the Liturgigoons. Also silly hats.
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May 15, 2020 01:42
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Spacegrass posted:I'm converting to Anton LaVey Satanism. Wish me luck, you goofy people. You're going to believe in yourself? Scary stuff
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May 15, 2020 01:43
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prayers only work if you give money to millionaire preachers it's in the bible or something I don't know, just give them all your money jesus christ amen
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May 15, 2020 01:51
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You're gonna lose Pascal's gamble! Right when it was about to pay off too!!!
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May 15, 2020 02:11
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Something Awful is a Monophysite forum. Ban OP for their apostasy.
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May 15, 2020 02:13
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Gnosticism is the official SA religion. You mean doing drugs? That’s what most people mean when they say “gnosticism”.
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May 15, 2020 02:21
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Nigmaetcetera posted:You mean doing drugs? That’s what most people mean when they say “gnosticism”. Hold up I'll get back to you I'm on the Gnosticism reddit forum trying to argue whether or not being a lifelong virgin is resisting the influence of the demiurge do not post nudes in this thread.
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May 15, 2020 02:25
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You too can be a discordian pope if you wanna
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May 15, 2020 02:25
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