Getting off my horse, hitching it to the post, and walking in

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Getting off my horse, hitching it to the post, and walking in

Escape From Noise

to the old saloon. My throat has two are three layers of dust on it after weeks out there on the ol' dusty trail, so I'm looking for something to slake the thirst. But as I push open the doors and stomp in, spurs a janglin' I sense something is off. No upbeat piano tunes, instead some guy playing accordion music. When I take my seat I'm slid a wine list and the barkeep holds up a menu with the day's specials: Linguine in clam sauce, mushroom Alfredo ravioli, and spaghetti with marinara and Sergio's famous meatballs? Then it hits me. I must have taken a wrong turn and gotten lost. I've left the west and am now in...THE SPAGHETTI WEST!

# ? May 15, 2020 16:47

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 23:35

Escape From Noise

Cowpokes gathering around the fire to sing Venitian opera

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? May 15, 2020 16:50

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

i just wanted to catch the guy with the black hat and save the town, but it turns out all the problems are caused by societal failures and human greed, and that the black hatted man might very well be a more decent person than myself

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# ? May 15, 2020 16:52

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

the soundtrack is baller, tho

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# ? May 15, 2020 16:53

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

getting disillusioned by a gritty world caught between the federal government and the rail moguls realizing the west is no longer a place for wandering gunslingers

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# ? May 15, 2020 16:57

Escape From Noise

Nosfereefer posted:

getting disillusioned by a gritty world caught between the federal government and the rail moguls realizing the west is no longer a place for wandering gunslingers

The future is finance

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? May 15, 2020 16:59

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

kind of distressed by the fact that most of the people i meet are clearly dubbed over

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# ? May 15, 2020 17:09

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

awkwardly trying to play a tune on my revolver when the gruff outlaw at the bar ask me if i can play that as well

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# ? May 15, 2020 17:10

Escape From Noise

Old Indian chief brokering a peace deal by offering me a cigarette.

# ? May 15, 2020 17:12

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

"did you bring a horse for me as well?"
"heh... looks like we're... looks like we're one horse shy" *the men starts laughing*
"you brought two too many"
*looks at the three extra horses*
"oh poo poo, yeah. sorry!"

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# ? May 15, 2020 17:13

Heather Papps: hello friend

i don't know what happened in this town but i started to whistle and a man slapped me really hard and called me a "good for nothing ugly bad idiot"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? May 15, 2020 21:14

Macnult

getting away with mashing random keys because no one in this town knows what a good piano player sounds like and i told the saloon owner that i have over ten years of experience

# ? May 15, 2020 21:38

Peg Sliderskew

to the nail salon.

"Champion needs his hooves filed and why don't you give him a coat of 'Seductive Scarlet' polish while you're at it? He has a hot date tonight!"

I don't mention that the date is me.

Courtesy of Manifisto

# ? May 16, 2020 07:44

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Nosfereefer posted:

i just wanted to catch the guy with the black hat and save the town, but it turns out all the problems are caused by societal failures and human greed, and that the black hatted man might very well be a more decent person than myself

# ? May 16, 2020 10:08

Escape From Noise

The buggies here look really sleek and run fast but they cost a fortune, break down constantly, and replacement parts always have to be special ordered

# ? May 16, 2020 18:30

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

losing the extreme closeup stare down with the big bad because i left my visine in my other saddlebag

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? May 16, 2020 18:49

LastGoodBoy: Keep your mind be open window everyday

I beam down into the middle of what looks to be an old west town. I pull out my tricorder and my phaser.

High on the hog, 90's style.

# ? May 17, 2020 08:03

Jaguars!

I get off my horse, tie it up by the horsetrough and stroll up the road towards freshly built building with a half-timbered false front. "O'Flannery's Saloon" the sun-faded lettering says in brand new paint. Boy, I could do with a freshly poured stout now. I walk around the rusted plow, scatching my initials into the fresh concrete that embeds it out the front as strains of "It's a long way to Tipperary" float out from an out of tune piano. It seems every bar these days wants to be an Irish pub.

Above the door is a lucky horseshoe, a painted leprechaun declaring this bar serves Heineken, and a sign that reads "No Irish". drat. I hitch up my shamrock belt buckle, straighten up my green waistcoat and prepare to move on to the next town. The old west sucks. I wish I was back in the emerald isles.

# ? May 17, 2020 08:36

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 23:35

nut

getting asked to leave the McDonald because my horse pooped on the statue of Ronald on the bench again

# ? May 17, 2020 12:39

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Getting off my horse, hitching it to the post, and walking in