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Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



In this thread we post and enjoy the absolute stupidest storylines, plotpoints, events, and episodes from Sci-Fi and Fantasy media.

Need an example? In the Threshold episode of Star Trek Voyager, a scientist discovers he can super-evolve by... going really fast. He then decides to kidnap captain Janeway and force both of them to super-evolve. This culminates in them both becoming lizards (???), crash landing on a swamp planet, and then loving. The rest of the crew discover Janeway and Man as lzards and their disgusting spawn scurrying off into the night, and then "un-evolve" them. They all decide never to speak of this event again, but only AFTER Janeway decides to flirt with the scientist who kidnapped her and turned her into a lizard.

Oh, and of course, this all-time classic:



So goons, what is the the absolute bottom of the fantasy-barrel?

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Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



Dabir posted:

Doctor Who, Love and Monsters. It's an episode about basically a Doctor Who fan club run by Peter Kay, who's playing a parody of the most irritating and unpleasant Doctor Who fan around. It turns out he's secretly a giant blob monster from the twin planet of the homeworld of a previously shown race that farts a lot, and he's absorbing the fan club into his body one by one. He's beaten by his powers overloading so he gets absorbed into the earth, then the Doctor resurrects his last victim as a paving slab with a face, and the episode ends with a joke about her and her boyfriend's sex life.

lol doesn't Sherlock also loving hate it's own audience? One season ends with Sherlock jumping off a building to his death, then he is miraculously alive the following season, and the one character who wants to know how he survived is portrayed as a fat, annoying, whiny, cloying fanboy. The show outright insulted the audience preemtively if they felt ripped off by the shows lovely writing.

Inspector Gesicht posted:

I absolutely hate Dr Who because it's so unrelentingly grotesque and morbid, coupled with a snobbish judgey hero who wags their finger at everyone. I bet all the companions who survived their tenure ended up as jaded alcoholics.

This is maybe made worse by the fact the entire show has the tone and feeling of being for kids. The music, dialoge, sets etc very much give off a "children's show" vibe and then it will go "no!!!!people die in this show and get hosed up this is for adults!!!!!"

I have a pretty low opinion of these two shows

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



Epieodes is a pretty bad type but a pretty good name for the hero in a bad swords and sandals book

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



Inspector Gesicht posted:

I hate Harry Potter but I can easily understand the appeal. The problem with the attempts to expand and continue the brand is that it's missing the conceit that made the series popular in the first place. The character most important to the series success is Hogwarts, a boarding-school that people wish they could attend because of all the fantasy kitchen-sink stuff. Once you've moved on or exhausted that angle then all other flaws of the setting become paramount: the whiteness of the cast, the muddled moralizing, the paper-thin and frankly racist world-building. The biggest fault is the author trying to externally retcon the series to be more daring/diverse/topical than it actually is.

I've said before, but; Harry Potter has the most absolutely paper-thin worldbuilding and consistency possible in a major series. If you start pulling on a single thread, like "why do wizards need money", "why are some spells illegal but others are", "do all wizards constantly have to check for cctv", "how come everyone on earth forgot theer are dragons/why do they need to be ekpt a secret", "why did muggles give up on slavery but wizards didn't - why does a magical wizard need a non-magical slave???" then everything falls apart.

Even JK Rowling realised she has hosed up by writing into the fifth book "and uh, then, all the time-travelling devices in the world broke, so shur the gently caress up about them".

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Would you like me to fix the misspelling in the title, Calico Heart? It has a certain charm. :allears:

I enjoy it. I would maybe enjoy a change like "WEIRD MAGIC: PYF stupid storylines/epieosdes in Sci-Fi-Fantasy"

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



Original series Trek is maybe shooting fish in a barrel with silly storylines, but Wolf in the Fold is exceptionally weird.

Scotty has a workplace accident that is the fault of a woman. As such, Kirk is afraid that Scotty will now hate all women. The obvious cure for hating all women is to take Scotty to a planet of prostitutes - you know, to make him like women again! Except, the moment they leave Scotty alone with a stripper - oops! - the stripper ends up violently murdered and Scotty can't remember anything. This happens like, three times before they decide to do something. They take him to the local Psychic, who says an evil spirit is possesing him. On board the ship, they suck the literal ghost out of Scotty, and then the literal ghost posseses the ship. The ghost explains it is a billion year old spirit who once took the form of JACK THE RIPPER, and it just loves killing women. The crew deduce that the spirit feeds off fear, so they decide they all need to get super high so they won't be afraid anymore. Weakened, the spirit goes into some guys body who they freeze and then shoot off into space (sucks to be them).

And the Jack the Ripper ghost is the voice of Winnie the Pooh.

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



lol, you watch G1 as an adult? Pfffffhaha, what are you, a moron? I'm off to watch the sophisticated adult TV show that is named Beast Wars

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



SkeletonHero posted:

Criminally overlooked shooting game Binary Domain is bonkers.

It's set in the near-future where robots are numerous and useful and some forms of AI are even around. You are part of a multinational team of badasses called the Rust Crew that tracks down and violently retires rogue robots. The CEO of the biggest robotics company is very old, highly reclusive and eccentric, and obsessed with perfecting human-like AI. So, pretty standard stuff so far. Your team meets up with another branch of the Rust Crew (that includes a Chinese woman the main character almost instantly falls in love with, and a robot that styles himself after a French revolutionary complete with outrageous accent and tricolor handkerchief) to take on a new threat, and if you've seen any kind of robot sci-fi media then you see the twist coming miles away: robots that look like people! They're infiltrating society! Doing insidious things at the behest of mystery CEO man, probably! They're your standard Terminator/Snatcher types, in that they are a robot skeleton covered in a layer of synthetic flesh. This is important, because then the game hits you with the next, most incredibly dumbest twist:

Robot babies. Specifically, robot/human hybrid babies. This was the big CEO guy's master plan (it shouldn't surprise you to find out he's an AI, too, presiding over an empty and entirely automated office high-rise/robot factory). Create a master race of robot/human superhybrids to unite and bring peace to the world. These hybrids look and scan as 100% human with human brains and free will and all, but have all the strength, speed, and whatever else of a robot(?), and wouldn't you know it, the love interest happens to be one! So she immediately goes berserk and turns on the Rust Crew for some reason and your main character defects and joins her because of course he does. There's a big relationship system in the game that determines how well your team gets along and how this all ultimately shakes out, though if I remember right the French robot sacrifices himself for you in the name of love and there's no way to save him so who cares.

I just have so many questions. Are there little robot sperms? Robot ova? Did not one of these apparent billions of Snatchers ever suffer more than a surface injury in the 30+ years they've been around? Did their offspring just never think it was weird they were absolutely destroying the other kids at kickball? Was there never a local student athlete of the week like "Meet Rachel Smith, she is 100% human and not a robot but has a 4.00 GPA and is captain of her basketball team with her 80-foot vertical leap!"?

Anyways, it's a good game and always on sale, and the robots fall apart and blow up real good, so you should go experience the madness for yourself if you're so inclined.

I remember always seeing 20 copies of this game on sale in trade-in stores for like £3

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



So this plot element occurs in Detroit: Become Human (a bad game) and 2064: Read Only Memories (a good game).

In both games, humans have non-sentient slave robots. In both games, one robot gains the ability to “imbue” any other robot they see with sentience. This is seen as good in both games.

However, no one ever addresses that these robots are essentially turning household appliances into slaves. It’s like saying “oh, my toaster doesn’t have rights, that’s so tragic”, then giving your toaster sentience and telling it “you’re alive! Hooray! Btw you’re only allowed to loving sit there and make toast”

Like, the robots both want to free the sentient robots, but only after they’re granted sentience. They’re essentially creating a problem and then trying to fix it. No one ever says “if sentient robots won’t be accepted as equals, isn’t it hosed up to create sentient robots?”

Tbf, Read Only Memories is a fairly well-written and smart game and I think there is a more narrative reason in that game for doing what you do.

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



Cobalt-60 posted:

I started listening to one of the Star Wars EU novels on CD. I got as far as:
1. there are Dark Jedi, who are evil, but not Sith
2. You can protect yourself from Force powers by carrying some alien rodent.
Then I turned it off.

You could probably make a whole thread with silly/weird/stupid stuff from the Extended Universe. I've only heard of it second-hand, but the point where authors were having slapfights over canon in a single series (Mandalorians are the best! Well, now they're DEAD! NUH UH!) is a highlight (or a lowlight, depending on your point of view).

Do Star Trek novels count for this? Cause that seems like cheating.

One of my favourite old GB threads was exactly this! "What's the worst thing in the EU" I think it was called, and it went for many hundreds of pages

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



I've seen very little Dr Who and am happy with that

I think I've seen maybe one full episode. In it a woman was turned into a Dalek and Dr Who says to her at one point "no you're still human in there, because you're afraid! That's a human emotion, you're still you!!!!"

The literal same episode the Doctor addresses a room of Daleks who ask him to do something for them because they're too scared to do it themselves lol

Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



David Cage once described Detroit: Become Human as "like Bladerunner, but if the humans were the bad guys"

That's literally all you need to know about the man and every single project he's involved in

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Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



Ghost Leviathan posted:

People still holding a grudge against Beast Wars over not being G1 is loving hilarious, because Transformers G1 is unwatchable unless you have a diving helmet's worth of nostalgia goggles.

Star Trek TAS is deeply underrated for pulling off some crazy ideas with a straight face. Like Kirk becoming best buds with Satan.

Or who could forget; the crew visit halloween planet with a magical witch and everyone is like "huh I guess witches are real, okay"

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