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The 1990's were perhaps the most lawless time in Sci-Fi Dystopian cityscapes. People we're jacking in and on and off like never before, committing new and exciting crimes that left normal flatfoots and gumshoes completely at a loss. The rise of Ninjutsu, zombies, and genetic aberrations meant that traditional vigilantes like Casey Jones were up poo poo creek without a golf club. In a world being overtaken by gene-slamming mega corporations and inter-dimensional aliens who could we turn to? The answer is right under your feet... In 1984, we were given the first proof that God is real and that they love us, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bojx9BDpJks Location: New York City Fighting Style: Nezumi Ninjutsu Team Favorite: Pizza Catchphrase: Cowabunga The results of scientific experimentation, raised from practically eggs by an ancient vermin Shinobi, these 4 brothers took the world by storm. Their comradery foretold the grim dawn of Dudes Rocking 30 years ago, as they employed their radical skateboard punk attitudes side-by-side the judicious and ritualistic disciplines of the ancient Ninja arts. Working in both violence and investigation the way others work in oil paints or clay, these four were named for the Renaissance artists that elevated the human experience forever. For a while, we knew peace and prosperity, but unfortunately the world is a vast wasteland of suffering, and so a decade after these small time comic characters exploded into a major Hollywood film and several animated series we must turn our attention the wild west C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWKv9QS2tJA Location: Western Territories Fighting Style: Cowboy Hijinx, Rodeo Rumbling, Gallant Gunplay Team Favorite: Justice, The Code of the West Catchphrase: Woo Dogey, Hot Diggity To be honest I don't have anything funny to say about this show because I picked one episode at random to make jokes about and it literally opens with them racially profiling three black warthogs, firing on them unprovoked, and then determining that the Warthogs WERE in fact committing a robbery. Unreal. The episode just gets progressively weirder and more upsetting as the mentally challenged bull falls in love with the school marm, who is actually a Mrs. Doubtfire set-up with a vulture who is grooming the children to be criminals. AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaanyways we've spent enough time in Texas. It's time to cool off, perhaps with a nice breeze, so we head up north to the Windy City... Biker Mice from Mars https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8vpeDEOII4 Location: Chicago Fighting Style: Horny Cyborg Biker Brawling, Cyborg Bodies, Twisted Metal style vehicle combat Team Favorite: Babes, Bikes, Bros, Brews, Bimbettes, Cybernetic Enhancements, Cheese Catchphrase: "Let's Rock... and RIDE!" In 1993, the Martian civilization of X-Treme sports mice were brought to heel by the Plutarkians, a race of amphibious capitalists hellbent on stripmining the solar system. The mice then presumably drove their motorcycles from Mars to Earth where they befriended a tomboyish mechanic and learned to navigate life on Earth as cyborg animal Harley riders.The episode I picked at random from S1 was about how girls can't fight crime and the three mice are portrayed as the dumbest, most airheaded bimbos possible. They are just lackadaisically getting owned with their shredded, rippling abs just being completely useless while their bike mechanic does a Racer X routine and the Biker Mice from mars are just completely blown away that the only other living female in Chicago is both people. Oh and this episode contains a literal Tar Baby/Briar Rabbit reference WTF OMG I can't even with the 90's lmao. Please god let this next team be ok! Street Sharks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CyxUq8GPEU Location: Fission City Fighting Style: Pro-Wrestling, Roller-Blading, Just fuckin' shoving like concrete and steel beams into their fuckin' mouths Team Favorite: Fraternity, Coolness Catchphrase: "Jawesome!", "Slammin'", and "SHARK ATACK" Oh thank you god. Street Sharks is just too weird and goofy to care what you think. These mutants are all so jacked and shredded that they frequently take up the entire frame, so it's all these weird close ups of ripped mutants in their underwear just making fun of each other and slapping each other around. The Street Sharks are perpetually in a state of being blamed for all the crimes that they themselves are preventing. There is apparently a 5th Street Shark that is modeled after Dee Snider and this episode focuses entirely the sharks trying to expose their evil cloaked nemesis as the villain, despite the fact that he has both an eyepatch and evil gene-slammed henchmen. So I thought I was done, but NOOOOOOOOO fuckin' Street Sharks apparently was piloted my mastermind's who intentionally seeded the IP for an Anthropomorphic Crime Fighting Revival 3 years after the boom, so unfortunately I would be remiss to exclude the Extreme Dinosaurs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI__EW_fPJs Location: Global Operatives! Fighting Style: Alien Technology and Gene-spliced (slammed??) Dinosaur strength! The Extreme Dinosaurs really threw me for a loop because despite not remembering it until seeing the name mentioned in the Street Sharks wiki, watching the intro unlocked all of these new memories I had long buried. The voice casts are indistinguishable and these shows don't really do anything to differentiate the characters from one another after C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa. Any of the Street Sharks or Biker Mice are essentially interchangeable. Street Sharks is probably the only other one that's watchable outside of TMNT, which are good actually and totally worth watching. The Extreme Dinosaurs tried to take the exact personality profiles of the Ninja Turtles and give them the big teeth of the street sharks along with the sweet alien technology of the Biker Mice, so in many ways they are the ultimate endgame of the genre, which is why it feels so unbearably derivative. Look these shows are terrifying, the characters are all grotesquely buff and ripped and they get progressively more inhuman the later they came out. Any single frame of Street Sharks is like a horror movie monster but they are all the good guys! So goons, who do you think of as the best team? Judge them based on ANY CRITERIA YOU LIKE, from Ab-Shreddedness, Opening Theme Song Rock & Rollership, or simply on the merits of their Rogue's galleries! What say you goons?
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May 18, 2020 16:10
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 16:56 |
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Mutanimals
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May 18, 2020 16:12
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I choose gently caress street sharks, marry ninja turtles, kill cowboys
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May 18, 2020 17:34
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Spoon! For my Apple Jacks.
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May 19, 2020 00:45
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 Chocolate away!
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May 19, 2020 00:47
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I was more of a Gargoyles/Skeleton Warriors/Mummies Alive kinda kid. But I like to think Mutant League Sports or Mighty Max might serve as some kind of half way point linking our two brands of cartoons that toy commercials together. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3ZlpTp_dJA
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May 19, 2020 02:03
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Jfc op, get,ur poo poo together E,vote,for,me please
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May 19, 2020 03:31
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The one of these with the best theme song is the best one so I would like to nominate https://youtu.be/K_AdxJWFUh4
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May 19, 2020 03:34
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnB-HKUNjxg
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May 19, 2020 03:38
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No Dog City, fucker?
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May 19, 2020 03:40
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op used the video that just has the tmnt theme song and not the awesome accompanying video 
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May 19, 2020 04:09
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Does SwatKatz count. OP?
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May 19, 2020 04:16
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Mummies Alive! Anthropomorphic mummies, with powers!
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May 19, 2020 04:16
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garfields pet force
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May 19, 2020 04:16
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You forgot an important one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEmh5a_wSyw
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May 19, 2020 05:38
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Applewhite posted:Does SwatKatz count. OP? did you know this was the most popular syndicated cartoon of 1994? blew my mind I thought it was just some weird show that I vaguely remember liking as a kid but nope Swat Kats was huge Ted Turner delayed the merchandise because it was too violent and that meant no toy profits for the bottom line, so the show got cancelled
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May 19, 2020 06:11
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI
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May 19, 2020 06:19
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the foo fighters
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May 19, 2020 06:24
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So what’s crazy is that I loved SWAT KATZ as a kid and really enjoyed the show, but they didn’t make the list because A) it’s just two guys, which is a crime fighting duo, a different thing all together. B) Mega-Kat City is a city full of cat people. The other shows are about animal mutants or formerly human animal mutants living and fighting crime in a human world, so they felt different to me. You did remind me of the Samurai Pizza Cats! I will put a better Ninja Turtles video in the OP you are right.
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May 19, 2020 12:01
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I got 2 graphic novels in the first grade that I found out later was where the ninja turles started. It was extremely well drawn. My family didn't have a TV for a long time, so the cartoon was a real disappointment when I finally saw it. They all wore red headbands and Raphael was the leader. Good stuff.
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May 19, 2020 12:22
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You forgot about Bucky O'Hare: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyKI1CHPMNw I think even as a kid I knew this show only existed because TMNT was popular. The winner of all these shows is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for having the best sensei that is also a giant filthy rat living in an actual sewer.
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May 19, 2020 12:30
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Op, how can you talk about Street Sharks and not bring up Vin Disel's love for the toys it produced? Especially when he screams HAND SHARK when he brings up a shark hand puppet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4HLBfTcAUg
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May 19, 2020 12:39
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Bust Rodd posted:So what’s crazy is that I loved SWAT KATZ as a kid and really enjoyed the show, but they didn’t make the list because Also they were called "The Radical Squadron" despite only being two guys with one jet? Sounds like bullshit to me.
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May 19, 2020 12:39
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A squadron is an administrative distinction. It’s possible to be a squadron of one 
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May 20, 2020 09:00
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marathon Stairmaster sesh posted:Op, how can you talk about Street Sharks and not bring up Vin Disel's love for the toys it produced? Especially when he screams HAND SHARK when he brings up a shark hand puppet?
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Jun 13, 2020 04:15
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why no mechawhales????!?!? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4gKbHymEpg
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Jun 13, 2020 19:46
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I love you, generic high maintenance 1990’s belly button dream woman
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Jun 13, 2020 20:09
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this poo poo owned and i can't believe they made it for children
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Jun 14, 2020 06:03
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Soul Reaver posted:You forgot about Bucky O'Hare: why does he look exactly like jazz jackrabbit
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Jun 14, 2020 06:21
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzcyXnvfROE I realize these aren't animals, but no one's uploaded the Heavy Metal Cross-Dressing Country Club Hogs one online so it'll have to do.
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Jun 14, 2020 07:09
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I'm the only one in the world who remembers and really liked The Mighty Ducks cartoon, which had very little to do with the movies except for featuring ice hockey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYwlXRVWCCI
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Jun 14, 2020 07:10
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I love the SwatKatz
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Jun 14, 2020 07:37
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Were the swat katz actually a S.W.A.T. team? I’m afraid between this and liking Zootopia I’m going to be accused of being some kind of anthro cop bootlicker e: snootlicker
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Jun 14, 2020 07:40
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How about the one with the mutant snails? There was a bad guy lizard type monster, who had a very big head, and he was the boss. He had a little underling they called BB or Baby Boss or something, just a 1/3 sized clone type thing, ala mini me. And I think the had snail shells on their back, and I seem to recall one being named Jefferson. I think they were named after presidents. Oh this is hard to find on Google. I don't remember if they were technically mutant, I think the entire world was anthropomorphic. I remember the plot of one episode involving a giant magnet, and their armor was causing problems so they switched to plastic to save the day. Maybe they weren't snails. Maybe it was dinosaurs and it's already been mentioned ugh rockinsaki fucked around with this message at 08:12 on Jun 14, 2020 |
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Jun 14, 2020 07:46
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your descriptions were a way better than the shows op. i pulled up an episode of that cow-boy one and it hurt. ninja turtles would kick their asses no problem. my point of reference is the turtles in time arcade game
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Jun 14, 2020 09:34
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Hedrigall posted:Were the swat katz actually a S.W.A.T. team? I’m afraid between this and liking Zootopia I’m going to be accused of being some kind of anthro cop bootlicker It's clearly been a while, their whole thing is that they're disgraced pilots assigned to junkyard duty who use their free time and spare parts to built a super-jet and fight supervillains as vigilantes.
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Jun 14, 2020 11:51
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When I recently moved I found some ancient Extreme Dinosaurs toys that somehow survived over 20 years, 7 moves, and multiple weather disasters so I’m kind of forced to vote for them. Also their theme song was peak 90s cheese
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Jun 14, 2020 12:10
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Hedrigall posted:Were the swat katz actually a S.W.A.T. team? I’m afraid between this and liking Zootopia I’m going to be accused of being some kind of anthro cop bootlicker And if you were born a little bit earlier you could be a regular bootlicker! C.O.P.S
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Jun 14, 2020 12:18
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Pretty sure motherfucking GARGOYLES should be on this loving list dog
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Jun 14, 2020 12:20
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Miss posted:why does he look exactly like jazz jackrabbit And O'hare looks like the one from the 70s starwars comic, Sci-fi armed furry rabbits are all green for some reason. except this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WceaX_MwXg Flannelette fucked around with this message at 13:39 on Jun 14, 2020 |
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Jun 14, 2020 13:34
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