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Here on SA we have a wide variety of people with a variable wealth of life experience. So I ask fellow goons what is the dumbest thing you have ever done? Here is mine. I used to paint bridges for a living, and this particular bridge happened to be over a river. So, I'm out on the scaffold all day with my foreman Mike. Mike was a colorful guy who looked like a burnt match, he was in his late 50s, and had been painting bridges his whole life. Mike would always talk about how when he was younger after a hard days work in 90-110 degree heat he'd end his day by jumping into the river, and swimming to shore. Anyway the end of the day comes and we are ready to wrap it up. I start talking about how hot I am and Mike point blank says jump in the river it'll cool you off. The guy driving the scaffold truck overhears and immediately starts yelling to all the other guys on site "Mandrill is about to jump into the river!" The thing is that this bridge is 70 feet in the air, maybe closer to 60-65 after you account for the scaffold which we were standing on. Everyone comes rushing over, and I tell them "gently caress you guys I ain't jumping." Cut to a bunch of dumb, bored, early 20 somethings who making the first real money they'd ever have reaching into there wallets and pulling out money. By the time the negotiations had ended there was 250 dollars on the line if I'd make the plunge. Being young, and dumb myself I told the driver to take the scaffold out to the middle of the river where it was deepest. Lucky for me it happened to be a very narrow river that was also pretty deep, even during the dog days of summer. If the river had been less than 20 feet deep I don't know that I'd be writing this post. My main concern before jumping was the distance from the middle of the river to the shore which I figured was about 150-200 yards. I just wanted to make sure I could easily swim to shore once I was in the water, never once taking into account how loving high the jump was, or how fast rivers flow. So, there I was in the middle of bridge about to jump, stupid as poo poo, and surrounded by even bigger morons hooting, and hollering encouragement. I looked down one last time gauged the distance to the shore. Turned around, and threatened the other men on the crew what would happen if I jumped and they didn't pay up. Mike assured me that everyone would pay. So, with that assurance I unbuckled my harness took off everything but my underwear. Then I took a little running start, and launched myself off the scaffold, and nearly into oblivion. Looking down from 60 feet up you really don't appreciate how high you truly are. The first and maybe only thought I had during the fall was, wow this is taking forever. Next thing I knew I hit a wall. To this day I have no idea how I didn't break any bones or knock myself out. I hit the water, and immediately had all the breath leave my lungs even though I went in like a pencil. I breathed in a ton of water, and kept plunging down thinking I'd just killed myself. I never hit the bottom of the river thank god, and finally stopped gong down, and started to struggle toward the surface. I fought tooth, and nail to get up to air. Honestly I have no idea how long I was down it was probably seconds, but it felt like hours. When I finally reached the top I went to take a big breath of air but the first thing I did was start puking water. By the time I gathered myself I'd already been swept so far down stream that I could barley hear my friends on the bridge yelling at me. I remember wiping my nose and realizing it was bleeding like a stuck hog. My ears were also ringing, and I felt like I did the day after a football game. I kinda just floated down stream for a bit happy to be breathing, an trying to muster up movement in my limbs. After catching my breath I finally started my swim to shore. It took me nearly a half hour to get there, and by the time I did I had drifted nearly two, and a half miles. Shortly after making it to shore I walked up onto the road just in time for one of our trucks to zoom by turn around and pick me up. My co worker got out white as a ghost, and said we thought you were dead. He radioed Mike who was having a conniption fit thinking he'd just killed one of his crew workers. Apparently they were about to call the police just before I was found. In the end I got the 250, and Mike gave me another 350 to never tell the boss what happened. Surprisingly everyone on the site kept their mouths shut about it too, and eventually the whole incident became a company legend. To this day I have no idea how I survived, but I can honestly say without a doubt jumping off that bridge was the single stupidest thing I've ever done in my life so far. Smiling Mandrill fucked around with this message at 21:33 on May 25, 2020 |
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May 25, 2020 21:29
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 07:50 |
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A funny one that happened to a guy I worked with at that same job. Dude got drunk as hell one night with some high school buddies. They started talking about one of the Native American tribes where boys had to cut off half of their pinkie in order to become braves . He starts bragging about how that wouldn't even be that big of deal, and long story short when I met him he only had half a little finger on his left hand. Moral is construction workers are dumb as hell.
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May 25, 2020 23:13
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Burt Sexual posted:Accepting a mod role. Good, go do it into a swift moving river off a bridge, and report back.
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May 26, 2020 00:58
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Jestery posted:I blind drunk skate boarded 65 km on a highway and permanently did damage to my knees Kinda reminds me of how Neil Cassidy died. Assuming you mean you went that distance, and not that you were going that fast, and wiped out.
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May 26, 2020 15:07
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1st_Panzer_Div. posted:In early college before I was info hiking and stuff, was hiking at Mt. Rainer with my family, brother and I go on our own. Come up to a sweet valley at the bottom of a cliff. We test the cliff by rolling a rock down. Rock shatters, I say hey were more agile than a rock and down we go. This is my life hiking minus the white out. One time me and a buddy were hiking in Oregon on an old logging road and a ranger pulled up and asked if we knew where we were. We told him no, and he said I have no idea where the gently caress we are either. So turn around, and go back the way you came otherwise you will get in too deep and nobody will ever find you. We laughed being experienced outdoors men. However after checking a map it was obvious that we had no appreciation for how expansive the Oregon wilderness is. You can go for hundreds of miles in any direction without ever seeing civilization and that is bad rear end as well as terrifying.
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May 27, 2020 03:54
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