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dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

Cat Army


Fallen Rib

The weirding modules from Dune, like wow I can't even introduce myself without blasting a dude, thanks.

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GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

427 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, DEFENSIBLE NATIONAL TITLES AND COUNTING


Thread winner in every way

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




GD_American posted:

A focus-grouped piece of crap, even. (Taken to extremes in the sequel)


wait what?

Hey now, Robocop beat the god of time in mortal kombat! Also the opening bit of Robocop 2, probably the only good part, shows that Murphy at least was a total fluke. The remake also literally has Robocop be in-universe focus-grouped to look more badass.

And well, from what I've read one of the test pilots went unresponsive in the middle of a flight, and the cockpit wouldn't open up again until the bad guys stole the prototype from mothballs, and didn't find anything in the cockpit. Also, it gave a perfectly healthy 23 year old a heart attack.

GD_American posted:

Thread winner in every way



Hey, that's literally fully automated free health care you're looking at

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

#RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000





Those Vulcan Pike things from Star Trek TOS seem like the most idiotic melee weapons of all time.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Sanguinia posted:

Those Vulcan Pike things from Star Trek TOS seem like the most idiotic melee weapons of all time.

You mean the lirpa? That's actually based on a real thing! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monk%27s_spade

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel

banned from Starbucks posted:

Smart guns from Aliens seem cool but are extremely lovely if you need to do any of the following in a combat situation.

* shoot over cover without exposing you're entire upper torso.
* climb over something
* go into a prone position
* assist a teammate with any task



From my Colonial Marines Technical Manual.






Completely practical.

SolarFire2
Oct 16, 2001

"You're awefully cute, but unfortunately for you, you're made of meat." - Meat And Sarcasm Guy!

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Hey, that's literally fully automated free health care you're looking at

It's not free, he gets arrested for not paying his hospital bill.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug


What a piece of absolute loving trash garbage!

Royal Updog
Sep 26, 2019

Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

3PO isn't that bad.

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.


She'll make point five beyond the speed of light. After that I'm just makin stuff up.

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

Cat Army


Fallen Rib

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

#RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000





Ghost Leviathan posted:

You mean the lirpa? That's actually based on a real thing! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monk%27s_spade

Yeah, but the ones in TOS are goofy as hell because of how big the weight on the end is.

The ones from Enterprise are better (he said, feeling the life drain from his body through his fingers as he type out the cursed words)

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

STOP BEING EVIL.


Can I count the garbage camera or film that they used for the original Star Trek that couldn't get the color green right so it came out yellow?

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Funny thing is Star Trek was one of the original killer apps for colour TV.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Slippery posted:

See that's the thing, I cannot imagine the supply system you would need to keep those fuckers running. I know that's not the point of the show but gently caress me the poor bastards that have to work on those things I can't imagine how they keep them going. Can just imagine the staff meeting where some poor fucker is getting raked over the coals for not having enough giant transforming robots mission capable for the days flying

DUDE ITS FIFTY FEET TALL AND GOES INTO SPACE ITS ALL I CAN DO TO KEEP IT FUCKIN SERVICED

One of the early episodes in the original 0079 Gundam series is centered around a Zeon supply run that gets ambushed by the Gundam and gang.

If you don't have the time/energy to watch an entire Gundam show, the compilation movies do a decent job, or if you really want some purestrain Gundam condensed to a couple hours or so, go look up Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky. It's incredibly loving bleak and focused more-so on the brutality and futility of war than anything else.

Near the end of the movie, the Earth Federation is bringing up kids into orbit and dumping them into tiny floating testicles to get slaughtered:



The Ball would probably win this thread by the sheer worthlessness of it.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Taintrunner posted:

One of the early episodes in the original 0079 Gundam series is centered around a Zeon supply run that gets ambushed by the Gundam and gang.

If you don't have the time/energy to watch an entire Gundam show, the compilation movies do a decent job, or if you really want some purestrain Gundam condensed to a couple hours or so, go look up Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky. It's incredibly loving bleak and focused more-so on the brutality and futility of war than anything else.

Near the end of the movie, the Earth Federation is bringing up kids into orbit and dumping them into tiny floating testicles to get slaughtered:



The Ball would probably win this thread by the sheer worthlessness of it.

Isn't this basically those suicide planes the Nazis designed to be flown by Hitler Youth?

Hunter Noventa
Apr 21, 2010


Ghost Leviathan posted:

Isn't this basically those suicide planes the Nazis designed to be flown by Hitler Youth?

More like strapping a cannon onto a pickup truck. IIRC the Ball is supposed to be just a maintenance pod, then they stuck a cannon on it.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Hunter Noventa posted:

More like strapping a cannon onto a pickup truck. IIRC the Ball is supposed to be just a maintenance pod, then they stuck a cannon on it.

Accurate. The Zeon equivalent is even more pathetic looking:

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Hunter Noventa posted:

More like strapping a cannon onto a pickup truck. IIRC the Ball is supposed to be just a maintenance pod, then they stuck a cannon on it.

...so, a space technical?

While I'm on a drunken kick about anime dinosaur robots, let's look at something that's rather similar to the Liger Zero Panzer above, but with visual aids.

So, this is your more typical Gun-Sniper:


Yes, it's a robot raptor, and yes, it might have a crotch gun. That and the arm gatling guns are actually its secondary weapons: it lives up to its name when you use it as intended by turning it around and using the heavy rifle built into its tail, which the cockpit seat flips around to a prone position for the pilot to operate almost exactly like your stereotypical sniper. For the most part it's good at exactly one thing, and Naomi 'The Red Comet' Flugel proves its worth by being an extremely good shot, when most Zoids are awful with accuracy- not too surprising when it's literally the only Zoid firearm built around a human form factor.

Now, for any of you who actually read my rants- remember the guy who made the Liger Zero Panzer above? Taking a fast, melee-oriented big cat robot and giving it so much firepower it literally can't move? This is what happens when his daughter goes on a shopping spree:

Yes, the shopping basket is canon.

Her teammates wonder why Leena Toros didn't throw in a couple of nuclear missiles for good measure on this thing. To her credit, the Wild Weasel Unit Total Assault pretty much wipes out any enemy dumb enough to get in its firing line, and it has enough agility to both get out of the way of return fire and to gaily skip home with the abovementioned shopping basket, but ammo and parts costs for the thing are noted to be significant, to the point where after fighting off bandits the Blitz Team has to drop out of the battle royale they came all that way for because they can't restock the ammo in time. And no, she never actually uses the sniper rifle.

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

I MEAN, TURN OFF YOURE MONITOR, MIGTH EXPLAIN YOUR BAD POSTS, HOPE THIS HELPS?!



SlothfulCobra posted:

The only gundam I know of that is depicted as just garbage that can't win a fight is this one.



Can't fight, but every year it makes it to the finals of the gundam tournament because nobody can find it when it's disguised as a windmill.

I liked how the Millenium Falcon was a piece of garbage in the movies. Luke poo poo-talks it at first sight, and it spends the bulk of Empire Strikes Back on cinderblocks with engine trouble. But then the EU considered it some kind of gold standard for a ship.

I liked it when "Kessel Run in 40 parsecs" was just something Han bullshitted out to impress a hayseed.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




I'm gonna also vote "the self destruct system " and it doesn't matter which one

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

I MEAN, TURN OFF YOURE MONITOR, MIGTH EXPLAIN YOUR BAD POSTS, HOPE THIS HELPS?!



Statutory Ape posted:

I'm gonna also vote "the self destruct system " and it doesn't matter which one

Wish you would initiate your self-destruct sequence.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Statutory Ape posted:

I'm gonna also vote "the self destruct system " and it doesn't matter which one

Self-destruct systems on massive weapons of war actually makes tactical sense.

In real life when a recon/spy plane crashes, the pilots are basically ordered to smash every computer and hard drive they can before the local military shows up to take them into custody. Within that vessel could be classified info or protocols or schematics or whatever, and you don't want to risk that information falling into enemy hands by any means necessary.

To bring it back into sci-fi, in the greatest sci-fi show of all time, The Expanse, a massive Martian battleship called The Donnager becomes compromised by stealth ship corporate mercenaries. The Donnager is basically a floating death fortress, considering its armaments:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpElvkhw_tk

quote:

14 x configurable torpedo tubes, 6 fore and 8 aft; fixed missile silos capable of firing torpedoes with a variety of warheads from conventional to plasma to nuclear.

2 x VX-12 Foehammer turreted ultra-heavy railguns. Although only used in CQC (close-quarters combat) as they were ineffective at long ranges compared to missiles, they were superior in range and accuracy to any other railgun in the system short of the UNN's orbital defense satellites. Turret mounts for two additional railguns, but these go unused for fear of overloading the power core and instigating a critical meltdown.

59 x Nariman Dynamics 40mm point defense cannons (PDCs) positioned all along the ship's hull for defense against incoming missiles and close range enemy vessels.

Internal hangar bay for up to eight support ships such as patrol destroyers and frigates. At the time of her destruction, only the damaged Knight shuttle and MCRN Tachi were docked here.

That's not something you want to risk turning over to the enemy. So yeah, you'd naturally want to nuke the fuckin' thing before it gets turned against you.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




i meant their propensity for dramatic failure

RBA Starblade
Apr 27, 2008

Going Home.



Games Idiot Court Jester


Statutory Ape posted:

I'm gonna also vote "the self destruct system " and it doesn't matter which one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tefHYLCEbAA

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017





also comedic failure lol

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.


Schadenboner posted:

I liked it when "Kessel Run in 40 parsecs" was just something Han bullshitted out to impress a hayseed.

I know that the EU has spent a lot of time explaining why the Falcon is the best ship but the best explanation is that Han was just throwing out impressive sounding crap.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Darth Brooks posted:

I know that the EU has spent a lot of time explaining why the Falcon is the best ship but the best explanation is that Han was just throwing out impressive sounding crap.

Yes... and no? In a weird way, it's actually kinda impressive that some smuggler can throw a bunch of bullshit into a civilian freighter and turn it into a top of the line smuggler ship unlike anyone had ever seen. The elevator in my apartment went out this morning when I tried to buy some more whiskey, so I'm partially bias, buuuut - in a way, it actually fills in the "realness" of the worldspace by implying that the engineering of space travel in the world was still a very dangerous yet experimental place.

It makes Luke's desires and aspirations of being a legendary starfighter pilot much more accessible and relatable, as well as giving the mechanics of this galaxy some real weight to it, and much like The Expanse, it makes the stakes feel so much more tangible.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

#RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000





Statutory Ape posted:

i meant their propensity for dramatic failure

I think the single funniest things I ever saw in a Red Letter Media thing was when Star Trek Nemesis dramatically informs the Captain that the self-destruct is offline, ostensibly to get across just how damaged the ship is that it can't even blow itself up anymore, and suggests that Picard just take out a phaser and point it at the Warp Core.

"You know, the MANUAL self-destruct."

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Nemesis was such an aggressively stupid movie

"i, the newfound ruler of the romulan star empire, have a terrible illness. i need captain picard's blood to survive."
you could probably just say that and he and the feds would be like "okay cool we'll do a series of transfusions to help you out", you don't need to fuckin' vampire his rear end

"oh no our phasers are worn out and we've shot all our torpedoes"
oh okay cool so he didn't even need the cloaking device to beat you

"oh no the transporters are out!"
uhh, you've got like two or three shuttlebays full of shuttlecraft that could fly over?

"oh no we can't blow up the ship any more"
uhh you can't get someone to rig a timebomb together with a few phasers aimed at the antimatter pods or something??



and so many other things

christ





uhhhh anyway so that this isn't just a "rant about nemesis, again" post, i nominate whatever equipment Babylon 5 used to communicate with the Great Machine, because after the first time it woke up, any time they actually needed that sucker to pitch in for system defense, it was always "nuhhhh we can't get through to Draal". lol fuckin' JMS sticking a huge death laser on that thing and then having to handwave it away again and again. lol.

(spoiler tagged in case someone from the thread where they're watching B5 for the first time wanders through)

DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.


Related to the lovely Gundam robots, in Robotech/Macross, they had the transforming Varitech fighters, that were, by and large, good.

But they also had non-transforming machines called Destroids that couldn't do poo poo. Like 5 models of them, some with massive lasers, others with artillery, one with nothing but a gently caress ton of missles...all useless.

Oh, Zentradi attacking? Yeah let's put 50 of those pieces of poo poo out there, maybe they'll blow up 1 loving pod before all getting destroyed.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




i thought nemesis was great and set the stage perfectly for ST: Picard

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Statutory Ape posted:

i thought nemesis was great and set the stage perfectly for ST: Picard

please don't troll

Slippery
May 16, 2004




Muscles Boxcar

muscles like this! posted:

Its on (US) Netflix.

Thanks, appreciate the info!

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

STOP BEING EVIL.




Taintrunner posted:

Yes... and no? In a weird way, it's actually kinda impressive that some smuggler can throw a bunch of bullshit into a civilian freighter and turn it into a top of the line smuggler ship unlike anyone had ever seen. The elevator in my apartment went out this morning when I tried to buy some more whiskey, so I'm partially bias, buuuut - in a way, it actually fills in the "realness" of the worldspace by implying that the engineering of space travel in the world was still a very dangerous yet experimental place.

It makes Luke's desires and aspirations of being a legendary starfighter pilot much more accessible and relatable, as well as giving the mechanics of this galaxy some real weight to it, and much like The Expanse, it makes the stakes feel so much more tangible.

That's not the story that the EU has endorsed though. They say the words "heavily modified" a few times, but there's never actually been a story about modifying ships much, and there's a whole slew of transports throughout the EU that are armed right out the doors of the factory, so it's not clear what is actually modified about the Falcon.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



I assume stock ships don't have compartments under the floor or the Empire would have known to look there.

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

427 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, DEFENSIBLE NATIONAL TITLES AND COUNTING


DrBouvenstein posted:

Related to the lovely Gundam robots, in Robotech/Macross, they had the transforming Varitech fighters, that were, by and large, good.

But they also had non-transforming machines called Destroids that couldn't do poo poo. Like 5 models of them, some with massive lasers, others with artillery, one with nothing but a gently caress ton of missles...all useless.

Oh, Zentradi attacking? Yeah let's put 50 of those pieces of poo poo out there, maybe they'll blow up 1 loving pod before all getting destroyed.

They got a lot better when they jumped universes to the Inner Sphere.

Droyer
Oct 9, 2012



DrBouvenstein posted:

Related to the lovely Gundam robots, in Robotech/Macross, they had the transforming Varitech fighters, that were, by and large, good.

But they also had non-transforming machines called Destroids that couldn't do poo poo. Like 5 models of them, some with massive lasers, others with artillery, one with nothing but a gently caress ton of missles...all useless.

Oh, Zentradi attacking? Yeah let's put 50 of those pieces of poo poo out there, maybe they'll blow up 1 loving pod before all getting destroyed.

Please do not mention the accursed name of Robotech in this, my most sacred of threads.

For actual thread content though, and since we're talking about Gundam:



The Zudah. A competitor to the Zaku with superior power and speed. Only one little problem: It had a tendency to overexert its engine and literally break apart, inevitably killing its pilot.

Droyer fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Jun 8, 2020

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Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

#RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000





DrBouvenstein posted:

Related to the lovely Gundam robots, in Robotech/Macross, they had the transforming Varitech fighters, that were, by and large, good.

But they also had non-transforming machines called Destroids that couldn't do poo poo. Like 5 models of them, some with massive lasers, others with artillery, one with nothing but a gently caress ton of missles...all useless.

Oh, Zentradi attacking? Yeah let's put 50 of those pieces of poo poo out there, maybe they'll blow up 1 loving pod before all getting destroyed.

I feel like you're talking poo poo about the Daedelus Attack right now.


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