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Silver2195
Apr 4, 2012


jeeves posted:

I'd have to say the shittiest piece of garbage tech in modern media would have to be most everything Star Trek's incredibly bottom of the bucket mediocre writing has made for the last decade.

From JJ Abrams' "WELL MY ENTERPRISE IS A MILE LONG!!!!!!!!" or "Black holes are magic" of his first Trek film, to the absolute bangers of "Ok transporters can work across the galaxy so we don't need ships anymore" or "we have magic blood that invalidates death" of JJ's second film.

To then almost everything in Star Trek Discovery, from magic instant-teleporting space ships that were invented in the past of all modern Trek and thus could and should have been used in all of the dire/existential crisis events of the future (also they require the space ship's parts to SPIN!) to ... whatever the gently caress happened in Picard, there are too many numerous things to even want to remember? Doesn't like Romulans spies have a gadget that lets them LOOK INTO THE PAST of events of a room or something by the first episode?

gently caress. Star Trek has been known for technobabbble, but for so long it was somewhat grounded by nerdy base ideas that they stuck to their guns about. Now there has been so much stupid tech all in one franchise that it almost kills all of the good will of the previous half century of the franchise and reveals the new shows to most likely be just a lot of "push this content out as quick as possible we need to launder this loving money quick!!!"

However that's not to say that Star Wars is desperately trying to catch up with even just the the "a ship going into hyperspace can destroy anything" of The Last Jedi pretty much is up there for top tier stupidity tech writing. Wouldn't it mean you could just strap a hyper drive onto an asteroid and throw it at a death star? Ooops I just gave more thought to that than anyone on the movie did.

Actually, Star Trek was always like that.

http://jbr.me.uk/trek/3.html#1

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Shwoo
Jul 21, 2011



Tulip posted:

I was trying to remember anything particularly odd in Lower Decks and the first thing that hit me was "pot full of eels that you use to torment people in contempt of court, also has burners so that you boil people (and eels)" which feels pretty lovely and funny.
I'm a fan of the cybernetic implant that restarts and knocks you out multiple times in a row when you decide to update it. I think that was from the same episode?

jeeves
May 27, 2001

Deranged Psychopathic
Butler Extraordinaire


I may have gone off on a bored during an online-work-meeting-induced rant more on just lovely writing to keep the constant churn of CONTENT for streaming services more on actual lovely garbage tech in scifi writing.

I still think the ~SUNCRUSHER~ is probably the shittiest piece of scifi tech writing that I've ever read. Hard to top that. It felt like Kevin J Anderson was just a kid going "NUT UH!!! UR SHIP BLOWS UP PLANETS? MINE BLOWS UP STARS! ALSO ITS MADE OF DIAMONDS! ALSO IT ONLY FITS ON PILOT WHO WILL BE ME"

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011


lmao.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




I gotta give it to the maser tanks from Godzilla movies. Ten times more expensive than a regular tank, but exactly as effective against Godzilla. It's in that sad middle ground where it's fancy scifi tech ENOUGH that it's hugely expensive and impractical, but not on the level of, say, a Super X or an Oxygen Destroyer or any actually effective anti-monster weapon.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World


Asterite34 posted:

I gotta give it to the maser tanks from Godzilla movies. Ten times more expensive than a regular tank, but exactly as effective against Godzilla. It's in that sad middle ground where it's fancy scifi tech ENOUGH that it's hugely expensive and impractical, but not on the level of, say, a Super X or an Oxygen Destroyer or any actually effective anti-monster weapon.

It would have been smart to show maser tanks loving up some D list monster like that mantis prick or the big spider or whatever so it's more impressive for Godzilla to shrug them off, and humans look less stupid for making them.

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.




sean10mm posted:

It would have been smart to show maser tanks loving up some D list monster like that mantis prick or the big spider or whatever so it's more impressive for Godzilla to shrug them off, and humans look less stupid for making them.

But people constantly make pointless things that are more expensive less durable and less effective than their predecessor.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




I guess it's one of those military industrial complex things, where even though the tanks and stuff don't actually DO anything to deter Godzilla, you don't wanna get a bunch of negative ads come election season talking about how you were soft on Big Monster. So you make the most of a bad situation and try and capitalize on it by getting your district all those juicy manufacturing jobs making lovely tanks you're gonna throw away, because there's no question of NOT making the tanks. Might as well overengineer them to hell and back and get the most bucks for your bang, so to speak.

wdarkk
Oct 26, 2007

Friends: Protected
World: Saved
Crablettes: Eaten


I think in Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla they have the maser tanks get some wins in the opening credits? Like I think they show them killing the Gargantuas?

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





All tech in the Hyperion Cantos seems to be hot garbage since it's all hand me downs.

lonelylikezoidberg
Dec 19, 2007


Lawman 0 posted:

All tech in the Hyperion Cantos seems to be hot garbage since it's all hand me downs.

I mean the tech in hyperion seems both really futuristic and incredible and also boring in the way mass produced commonly used technology is.

It works because the technology isn't the point at all.

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





Right also because it's manufacturing isn't miraculously free of the mundane filthiness, destruction and drudgery of production.

Sarcastro
Dec 28, 2000
Elite member of the Grammar Nazi Squad that

SlothfulCobra posted:

It seems to me more like "this scene with Jabba was written and filmed but after it was cut from the movie the later movie didn't take it into consideration at all and designed a totally different Jabba from scratch". Maybe a novelization stuck it back in, the novelizations did a lot of weird stuff.


Catching up and I happen to have the original novelization on my shelf in this very room. The full description of Jabba, verbatim: "A great mobile tub of muscle and suet topped by a shaggy scarred skull..." If memory serves, these things are written based off of the shooting script, so I'd assume that the script's description of Jabba boiled down to "a really fat guy." Kind of handy in that it could go either way if you later decide to make him a big slug alien instead of a portly human.

Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009



Yeah, most of the scripts don't really specify whether Jabba is human or alien, just that he's hideous:

Star Wars Second Draft posted:

The entry bay of the large starship is also the main lounge area of the ship. Two gruff and grisly pirates are playing a kind of dice game with thin little sticks. The larger and mangiest of the two slavering hulks, JABBA THE HUTT by name, throws his dice at Chewbacca.

Star Wars Third Draft posted:

A commotion filters down from the entry gantry and Chewbacca whines pessimistic comment. A dozen or so gruff and grisly pirates approach the ship. The grossest of the slavering hulks is JABBA THE HUTT. His scarred face is a grim testimonial to his prowess as a vicious killer.

Star Wars Revised Fourth Draft posted:

Jabba the Hut and a half dozen grisly pirates and purple aliens stand in the middle of the docking bay. Jabba is the grossest of the salivering hulks and his scarred face is a grim testimonial to his prowess as a vicious killer.

Star Wars Fourth Draft - publicly published version posted:

Jabba the Hut and a half-dozen grisly alien pirates and purple creatures stand in the middle of the docking bay. Jabba is the grossest of the slavering hulks and his scarred face is a grim testimonial to his prowess as a vicious killer. He is a fat, slug-like creature with eyes on extended feelers and a huge ugly mouth.

The Marvel comic adaptation included this scene, though went with an alien Jabba that was actually quite slim, and just reused the design of a random background alien.




Apparently they later retconned this guy as Jabba's accountant, who would sometimes use Jabba's name to act as "legally Jabba" in certain dangerous situations.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005









A glass house is a pretty lovely tech to throw stones from

Jetto Jagga
Feb 6, 2021


Asterite34 posted:

I guess it's one of those military industrial complex things, where even though the tanks and stuff don't actually DO anything to deter Godzilla, you don't wanna get a bunch of negative ads come election season talking about how you were soft on Big Monster. So you make the most of a bad situation and try and capitalize on it by getting your district all those juicy manufacturing jobs making lovely tanks you're gonna throw away, because there's no question of NOT making the tanks. Might as well overengineer them to hell and back and get the most bucks for your bang, so to speak.

All the 90s giant robots were total boondoggle projects. Oh no our Mechagodzilla got smashed, guess we better build another different giant robot that doesn't work.

Fivemarks
Feb 21, 2015


Jetto Jagga posted:

All the 90s giant robots were total boondoggle projects. Oh no our Mechagodzilla got smashed, guess we better build another different giant robot that doesn't work.

Didn't Super Mechagodzilla like, almost beat Godzilla? Didn't the Super X-3 actually win?

Yeah but gently caress Moguera though.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy




Soiled Meat

Yeah, but then it turned out all you really needed to beat up Ebirah were eight or so psychic ninja power rangers and by that point you're using your expensive flying drill battleship Gotengo to save Godzilla because you need Big Godzilla to fight Big Alien.

Worf
Sep 12, 2017




Its romulans

Rudeboy Detective
Apr 28, 2011

Hail Satan, dude.

Fivemarks posted:

Yeah but gently caress Moguera though.

I wonder what the story behind Moguera is. It looks an awful lot like some lovely 1950's toy robot.

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PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy




Soiled Meat

According to the wiki, it was originally going to be a MechaGodzilla appearance but Toho decided to update a monster from one of their older films instead.

So, 1950s toy is pretty close.

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