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W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

GD_American posted:

It's a giant universe and I always thought the Best and Brightest part of Starfleet rang false. Show me the 2nd line ships. Give me a show with washouts and career dead-enders manning an outdated ship in a forgotten sector.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3RkBKedKWw

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W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.
Also, my vote for shittiest piece of garbage tech in science fiction goes to cyberbrains from Ghost in the Shell. Really, basically any kind of "we're going to implant a computer in your skull and wire it directly to your brain" technology. Because yes, let's absolutely directly link our brains to computers when we haven't even figured out how to make normal non-cybernetic computers completely safe from hacking/malicious software attacks. Don't worry, you'll be fine, there's absolutely no way someone will be able to just hack into your brain and force you to do things against your will by overriding control of your body or anything like that, especially in this setting where most of the population has some kind of cybernetic implants, be they limbs or organs or even entire replacement bodies! It's completely safe, you'll be fine, there's nothing at all to worry about!

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Yet they never go back in time to like win the Dominion war or something.

Yeah, because the Federation has a Temporal Prime Directive that says you're not allowed to go back in time and change the past.

Not that this stops Voyager from violating it at least twice per season.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

aphid_licker posted:

Dumb question: why are there none? Too dangerous to use if you don't have heightened force reflexes or something?

Yeah, that's the explanation they gave in the old EU Young Jedi Knights book, when they ran across a girl their age who used a lightsaber but wasn't Force-sensitive. She claimed that she was just skilled enough at fighting that she didn't need the Force, but it turns out that she was just lying to cover up the fact that she was a spice addict; apparently the spice she was addicted to has a side effect of enhancing your perceptions and reflexes while you're high.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

galagazombie posted:

Ironically it's the trippy psychedelic mecha that feel the most realistic. You'll never be able to come up with a physics based reason for your weapon to be human shaped. So instead the justification for why we have a robot instead of a tank is "By embodying the platonic human form the robot is powered by the collective human spirit". The answer to why we gave our robot a giant sword instead of a gun is "The ancient blade of Lusitania channels the power of the Arkenstone left behind by the Martian Ancients to cut a path to a brighter future." It may be nonsense but it makes inartistically more sense all the same.

https://twitter.com/Random_Factor/status/1231271828208967681

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Hunter Noventa posted:

Don't forget the black starship with the black button with black text that lights up a black light to let you know it's done something.

Also, let's not forget Deep Thought, the computer that was advanced enough to be able to calculate the ultimate answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything... but when prompted for the question, couldn't give it because it didn't know what the question was and didn't have enough computing power to figure it out.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Bootcha posted:

When I think of garbage tech, I go to the source...







To be fair, that second one works exactly as advertised.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

imperiusdamian posted:

Absoluute worst? Star Trek having NO loving surge protectors on the bridge. Seriously, consoles explode in showers of sparks every time someone glares at a Fed ship?

Yeah, in recent years, the propensity of Federation technology to default to "fail deadly" instead of "fail safe" has really been a massive :cripes: moment for me.

I understand the Doylist reason for it (to create tension and drama), but we're never really given a good Watsonian explanation as to why a Romulan disruptor beam blowing up the empty cargo bay on deck 13 causes a console on the bridge to explode and kill poor Lieutenant Redshirt.

And that's not even getting into that whole "holodeck safety protocols" :can:.

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W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.
My main problem with the holodecks is, "Why is the default setting for the holodeck 'everything is as lethal as it would be if it were real' with 'nonlethal' being a setting that has to be enabled and that can be turned off by any shmuck with a passing familiarity with how the ship's systems work (i.e., everyone on board)?"

Doylist answer: because that way it can create tension and drama when it inevitably malfunctions.
Watsonian answer: :shrug: :effort:

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