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SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
"In Star Wars the Fox fanfare is a recording ... which by the mid-70s had become pretty rare and hadn't had an update since the 50s. It's supposed to sound old compared to the rest of the score (especially the sudden blast of the main title theme) because it's a throwback, much like the rest of the movie is a pastiche/ tribute to myths, fairy tales, adventure serials and other old-fashioned popular storytelling.

"In
The Empire Strikes Back, the Fox fanfare is newly recorded as part of the film's score. No longer a throwback, the mentality behind myths, fairy-tales and adventure serials are now presented as contemporary, and the sequel is not a tribute or pastiche like its predecessor but a genuine, actual mythic tale for the modern age."



Let's go back 40 years to May of 1980. It was a simpler, more innocent time, when all that we had to worry about was the threat of nuclear annihilation. Oh, and arguably the greatest movie of all time was released to the masses!

George Lucas once said: "I'm faced with a situation where everything I own, everything I've ever earned is wrapped up in Empire. If it isn't a success not only could I lose everything but I could also end up being millions of dollars in debt, which would be very difficult to get out from under. It would probably take me the rest of my life just to get back even again. Everybody says, 'Oh, don't worry, the film will be a huge success,' but if it is just one of those mildly successful film sequels, I'll lose everything. It has to be the biggest-grossing sequel of all time for me to break even."



Well lucky for George it did become the biggest-grossing sequel of all time, and in fact lightning struck twice and Empire became the second-highest grossing film of all time to that point, behind only its predecessor. But even more importantly, it's gone down in history as a timeless classic.
    ***Things we're NOT going to talk about in this thread***:
  • X The other 'Star Wars' Trilogy
  • X The other OTHER 'Star Wars' Trilogy
  • X The "Expanded Universe"
  • X The Mandalorian (we're here for old af Yoda, not baby Yoda)
  • X Any movies whose title ends with ": A Star Wars Story"
  • X "The Clone Wars" TV show
  • X That other "Clone Wars" TV show
  • X The "Clone Wars" movie
  • X Pretty much anything outside of the Star Wars trilogy that was made from 1977-1983
And I'm not suggesting these restrictions just to be snarky: there's a whole subforum where you can bitch chat about all of that stuff to your hearts' content. This is Empire territory!




HERE'S TO 40 MORE YEARS OF IMPERIAL MEMORIES

SidneyIsTheKiller fucked around with this message at 07:16 on May 28, 2020

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SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
It's taken for granted these days that Empire is a film "without an ending", but that's only true for the portion centered on Luke. There's an entire other half of the film that indeed comes to a full resolution, to the point where if you really wanted you could call it something like "The Triumph of Han Solo."



Han Solo starts out Empire incredibly insecure, having found the people he wants as his family but having no idea if they understand this or if his affection is returned. He's madly in love with Princess Leia, but is hurt when she reacts to his plans to leave the rebellion with icy professionalism, as if it didn't bother her at all (note this is what sets off their entire on-screen personal conflict in the movie).



Han also cares deeply for Luke Skywalker as a brother (note that in the film's original score there are actually three moments on Hoth where the "love theme", normally associated with Han & Leia, underscores Han's regard for Luke). Although Luke is grateful for being saved by Han - the entire point of the Wampa sequence, in fact, is how readily Han risks his life for Luke - he's visibly preoccupied with matters of the Force and hardly even says goodbye to Han when going their separate ways.




Having lived his entire life as a smuggler in the cut-throat criminal underworld, Han can't make himself vulnerable, can't simply open himself up to Leia and Luke directly - we see firsthand how messed up his life and worldview was/is when he meets up with "old friend" Lando in a seemingly cordial reunion, only to soon learn Lando had already sold him out to Darth Vader the entire time.



So Han deals with this like he does everything else: he bluffs. He projects his feelings onto Leia and dares her to refute it, while serving as her guardian against the Empire for most of the rest of the film (and also sexually harrassing her for good measure), to put the ball in her court. He gradually succeeds (I think as she warms up to Han it slowly dawns on her why he's been acting so ridiculous) and finally Leia makes it plain: "I love you."



And Han gives the most important response he could give: "I know," letting her know she's given him exactly what he's been needing this whole time.

At the end Han is captured and frozen in carbonite, but where before no one bothered to stop the scoundrel from leaving, now Luke, Leia, and Lando are coming back to rescue him. The last scene's rendition of the love theme is dramatic but has almost a victorious note to it, because for the first time in Han's life he has people who care about him, and his arc in this story is complete.

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

star wars rebels is a real good show imo

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
this was a great movie except for how the empire struck back. i really enjoyed everything about it otherwise though

fishing with the fam
Feb 29, 2008

Durr
Star Wars Christmas Special chat starts now.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
more effort went into those posts than into my entire life op, so im voting 5 out of respect

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

The movie didn't have enough gay stuff for me so I turned it off and melted the VHS on a tire fire before pissing on it and passing out in the middle of a field with my pants down and a turd peeling out my rear end crack.

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

Mozi posted:

this was a great movie except for how the empire struck back. i really enjoyed everything about it otherwise though

:hmmyes:
they telegraphed it pretty hard wytai

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

The movie didn't have enough gay stuff for me so I turned it off and melted the VHS on a tire fire before pissing on it and passing out in the middle of a field with my pants down and a turd peeling out my rear end crack.

what about the scene on hoth where luke sucks the poo poo out of his own space wendigo's rear end in a top hat to keep warm? or the subtle homoerotic tension between the emperor and the gay black robot? or the not-so-subtle erotic tension of the gay black sky pirate and the gay gold robot? or the liza-inspired fashion undertones of the stormtrooper uniform?

did you even watch the film? i bet you werent even on speed when you saw it you coward

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

what about the scene on hoth where luke sucks the poo poo out of his own space wendigo's rear end in a top hat to keep warm? or the subtle homoerotic tension between the emperor and the gay black robot? or the not-so-subtle erotic tension of the gay black sky pirate and the gay gold robot? or the liza-inspired fashion undertones of the stormtrooper uniform?

did you even watch the film? i bet you werent even on speed when you saw it you coward

I watched it up to the scene where Han retches as he splatters out huge gouts of steaming diarrhea onto the unconscious Luke Skywalker to keep him warm, the instant I didn't see Han follow this up with a warm spattering of piss all over the inert form of the hypothermic man I turned it off, anyone with half a brain knows you have to douse a man dying of cold in an acidic urine wash. It was stupid and pissed me off so bad. There's two holes in my dry wall and I broke my index finger.

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
What if Vader isn't Luke's dad but actually wants to be his daddy? That explains all the sexual tension between them.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
hell yeah the one good star wars thing

How the Empire Got Its Groove Back

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


The first movie was the best one.

The rest all suck.

Don't be a



and try to argue with me on this.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

Jeza posted:

more effort went into those posts than into my entire life op, so im voting 5 out of respect

Thanks mang. :hfive: Surely you could apply a little more effort to your life, though?

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Emperor Palpatine: Good, good let the hate flow through you.

Luke: I am not gay. In 84 there were great groups of gay men roving through Mos Eisley holding food drives for the poor. They were good people and I respected them but I am not gay. I having nothing against gays but I am not gay. I am not afraid of your advances and they do not upset me but I am not gay. I am bothered by our age difference but this has nothing to do with homosexuality and it is not it being gay that bothers me. My uncle knew a gay man and I would drink blue milk in glasses of our family tupperware but there was nothing gay about it. I repeat I am not gay. I have no problems with gays. I do not use slurs and I believe the Empire should allow gay marriage but I insist I do not believe these things because I am gay or even bisexual. I am not gay or bisexual. I would prefer if you do not speak to me in such a fashion but I insist it comes from no place of bigotry and I support the gays in their endeavors and know many great gays like Lando Calrissian and C3PO who are fine people and gay but I have no attraction to them and they do not speak to me or touch me sexually as I am not gay. I am not afraid of them or bigoted to them. I hug them as a friend and not because I am gay. I allow them to hug me because I understand not everything they do towards me should be interpreted as a sexual advance and that I can be regular friends with them like anyone else but still as I have said before it is not because I'm gay.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:


[*] Vintage news footage! "Media gets sneak preview of the Star Wars sequel 'Empire Strikes Back' in San Diego" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Id_0fMKZOA
("I didn't like the ending." Uh-oh!")



@ 1:21, god drat do I wish I had gotten stoned and seen ESB before everyone else. that would be near enough to the highlight of my life.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

what about the scene on hoth where luke sucks the poo poo out of his own space wendigo's rear end in a top hat to keep warm? or the subtle homoerotic tension between the emperor and the gay black robot? or the not-so-subtle erotic tension of the gay black sky pirate and the gay gold robot? or the liza-inspired fashion undertones of the stormtrooper uniform?

did you even watch the film? i bet you werent even on speed when you saw it you coward

Seriously while they're out "checking meteorites", Luke is laying there on the ground moaning helplessly while Han whips out Luke's white-hot stiff rod that sticks straight up like 4 feet in the air!

Here, Lando and Han are going to make out just to add some more gayness that the public demands.

feller
Jul 5, 2006


Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Emperor Palpatine: Good, good let the hate flow through you.

Luke: I am not gay. In 84 there were great groups of gay men roving through Mos Eisley holding food drives for the poor. They were good people and I respected them but I am not gay. I having nothing against gays but I am not gay. I am not afraid of your advances and they do not upset me but I am not gay. I am bothered by our age difference but this has nothing to do with homosexuality and it is not it being gay that bothers me. My uncle knew a gay man and I would drink blue milk in glasses of our family tupperware but there was nothing gay about it. I repeat I am not gay. I have no problems with gays. I do not use slurs and I believe the Empire should allow gay marriage but I insist I do not believe these things because I am gay or even bisexual. I am not gay or bisexual. I would prefer if you do not speak to me in such a fashion but I insist it comes from no place of bigotry and I support the gays in their endeavors and know many great gays like Lando Calrissian and C3PO who are fine people and gay but I have no attraction to them and they do not speak to me or touch me sexually as I am not gay. I am not afraid of them or bigoted to them. I hug them as a friend and not because I am gay. I allow them to hug me because I understand not everything they do towards me should be interpreted as a sexual advance and that I can be regular friends with them like anyone else but still as I have said before it is not because I'm gay.

totally gay

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Emperor Palpatine: Good, good let the hate flow through you.

Luke: I am not gay. In 84 there were great groups of gay men roving through Mos Eisley holding food drives for the poor. They were good people and I respected them but I am not gay. I having nothing against gays but I am not gay. I am not afraid of your advances and they do not upset me but I am not gay. I am bothered by our age difference but this has nothing to do with homosexuality and it is not it being gay that bothers me. My uncle knew a gay man and I would drink blue milk in glasses of our family tupperware but there was nothing gay about it. I repeat I am not gay. I have no problems with gays. I do not use slurs and I believe the Empire should allow gay marriage but I insist I do not believe these things because I am gay or even bisexual. I am not gay or bisexual. I would prefer if you do not speak to me in such a fashion but I insist it comes from no place of bigotry and I support the gays in their endeavors and know many great gays like Lando Calrissian and C3PO who are fine people and gay but I have no attraction to them and they do not speak to me or touch me sexually as I am not gay. I am not afraid of them or bigoted to them. I hug them as a friend and not because I am gay. I allow them to hug me because I understand not everything they do towards me should be interpreted as a sexual advance and that I can be regular friends with them like anyone else but still as I have said before it is not because I'm gay.

Emperor: "....


"So be it, Jedi..."

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Seriously while they're out "checking meteorites", Luke is laying there on the ground moaning helplessly while Han whips out Luke's white-hot stiff rod that sticks straight up like 4 feet in the air!

Here, Lando and Han are going to make out just to add some more gayness that the public demands.



Han: This is no tunnel!

*Outside shot of the asteroid as a giant cock blasts out the crater and spews a massive stream of cum out with the Millenium Falcon gliding out its urethra surfing on top of the gushing geyser of semen.*

Worf
Sep 12, 2017

If only Seth would love me like I love him!

i really like the mandalorian



the one in ESB, i mean

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

shadow puppet of a posted:

The first movie was the best one.

The rest all suck.

Don't be a



and try to argue with me on this.

The first was great where it should have ended

Worf
Sep 12, 2017

If only Seth would love me like I love him!

PERHAPS YOU FEEL YOU ARE BEING TREATED UNFAIRLY????????????

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

I have threadshit. Pray that I don’t threadshit any further.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
Some remastered behind-the-scenes footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppedjj7pvZ4

It's so strange to see George Lucas with just one chin.

Also Irvin Kershner seems like a swell guy but I swear he looks and sounds like he himself is secretly a muppet created by ILM.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Emperor Palpatine: Good, good let the hate flow through you.

Luke: I am not gay. In 84 there were great groups of gay men roving through Mos Eisley holding food drives for the poor. They were good people and I respected them but I am not gay. I having nothing against gays but I am not gay. I am not afraid of your advances and they do not upset me but I am not gay. I am bothered by our age difference but this has nothing to do with homosexuality and it is not it being gay that bothers me. My uncle knew a gay man and I would drink blue milk in glasses of our family tupperware but there was nothing gay about it. I repeat I am not gay. I have no problems with gays. I do not use slurs and I believe the Empire should allow gay marriage but I insist I do not believe these things because I am gay or even bisexual. I am not gay or bisexual. I would prefer if you do not speak to me in such a fashion but I insist it comes from no place of bigotry and I support the gays in their endeavors and know many great gays like Lando Calrissian and C3PO who are fine people and gay but I have no attraction to them and they do not speak to me or touch me sexually as I am not gay. I am not afraid of them or bigoted to them. I hug them as a friend and not because I am gay. I allow them to hug me because I understand not everything they do towards me should be interpreted as a sexual advance and that I can be regular friends with them like anyone else but still as I have said before it is not because I'm gay.

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
The part where they get stuck in the space worm pisses me off. They step out of the falcon into a cavern inside of a loving asteroid with just gas masks on. No suits, no nothing. loving stupid. They could have completely avoided it by just having someone shoot the dumb bats with the turret on the ship and THAT cause the worm to wake up.

And let's say the insides of the worm are pressurized for some reason at exactly habitable ratings. Why the gently caress doesn't that set off HUGE ALARM BELLS for everyone????? Like "oh, there's atmosphere in this asteroid cavern... probably not for any weird reasons.

Dumbfire Rocketman
Jul 30, 2009

a drunk european baby
is putting u in ur place

This movie features my favorite, titular line from the Star Wars

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo"

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
I forget where I heard this but I remember it stated somewhere it was pretty much a policy that a Star Wars movie should never show an explicit space suit on screen.

Worf
Sep 12, 2017

If only Seth would love me like I love him!

the space worm scene doesnt bother me tbh. when i was really young i didnt appreciate the slower pace of it but now i dont mind it

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

I forget where I heard this but I remember it stated somewhere it was pretty much a policy that a Star Wars movie should never show an explicit space suit on screen.

It's a very Flash Gordon thing and like half of the stuff in Star Wars is cribbed from Flash Gordon.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

I forget where I heard this but I remember it stated somewhere it was pretty much a policy that a Star Wars movie should never show an explicit space suit on screen.

Worf
Sep 12, 2017

If only Seth would love me like I love him!


actually theres an entire book trilogy dedicated to why that isnt a space suit, he doesnt even breathe oxygen

unless this was a troll post in which case, pfft

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

I forget where I heard this but I remember it stated somewhere it was pretty much a policy that a Star Wars movie should never show an explicit space suit on screen.

And the movies do a good job with it. But that scene is stupid as heck.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


I am a big fan of Captain Kirk OP.

Il Federale
Oct 10, 2012



free hubcaps posted:

star wars rebels is a real good show imo

clone wars was way better

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

I wish Tarkin made it 1 more movie, his end was fitting and great but goddamn, Peter Cushing just owns so hard.

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

Kid me thought Vader was lying. He was the bad guy after all, right?

Distances in Empire are weird. The Falcon left Hoth, went to the asteroid belt and then flew to the cloud city without ever going to hyperspace.

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Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004

Darth Brooks posted:

Kid me thought Vader was lying. He was the bad guy after all, right?

This is apparently the reason why they had Yoda confirm it in Return of the Jedi, because a child psychologist told Lucas that kids wouldn't believe Vader was Luke's father unless stated explicitly by someone else.

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