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Brut
Aug 21, 2007



Tonight's fights are happening at the UFC's own venue The Apex, in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Apex usually hosts Dana White's Tuesday Night Contender series fights which take place in a 25 foot wide cage, when accommodating a crowd the UFC's standard 30 foot cage does not fit well in that venue however I have seen reports that without the crowd, the standard cage can fit just fine, I do not know if they will actually bother to do that, so we might be getting small cage fights tonight.

Our Welterweight main event fighters are:

(19-4-1) Tyron "T-Wood" Woodley is the man who knocked out Robbie Lawler in half a round to win the Welterweight championship and proceeded to have 10 boring rounds against Stephen "Wonderboy" Thompson, which ended in a draw and a win. He then defended his belt two more times, once against professional backpack Demian Maia by decision, and once more by knocking out professional poo poo taker Darren Till. Woodley then lost the belt to current champion Kamaru Usman in what was a very odd and weak performance, it is thought that this can be attributed to his change of focus from fighting to starting a rap career despite being literally the world's worst rapper. If recent interviews are to be believed, Woodley is now refocused on his fighting career and hopes to show a similar caliber performance to the one that got him the belt.

(18-3) Gilbert "Durinho" Burns is a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu high level competitor who has won medals in many world-class BJJ competitions, he transitioned to MMA in 2012 and was in the UFC by 2014. Burns has bounced around between the Lightweight and Welterweight division, and all 3 of his losses are at Lightweight, aside from his strong grappling skills he is known for covering his big head with a Brazilian flag bandanna, and for his willingness to step in as a late-notice replacement which is partially how he found himself fighting at Welterweight on occasion. Burns last fought Demian Maia at UFC Brasilia on March 14th, the only UFC event that was held without a crowd shortly before the recent string of event cancellations, this will make him the first and so far only UFC fighter to fight without a crowd twice, and could potentially serve as a mental advantage tonight.

Our Co-main event takes place in the Heavyweight division:

(18-3-(1NC)) Blagoy Ivanov began his career in regional Bulgarian organizations where his third fight against current UFC fighter Ilir Latifi ended in under a minute due to the ring breaking, he then came up primarily through the Bellator organization where his undefeated run was eventually ended by current UFC fighter Alexander Volkov, he proceeded to win several more fights in WSOF which became PFL, and finally found his way in the UFC. Since then he has suffered two more defeats both by decision to former UFC champion Junior Dos Santos, and titled contender Derrick "My balls was hot" Lewis, aside from his fighting skills he is known for having literally been stabbed in the heart in 2012 by a group attacking him in a Bulgarian night club, the scar from this can be very clearly seen during fights.

(14-1-1) Augusto Sakai began his career in the Curitiba, Brazil regional scene and after a series of quick first round knockouts also found himself in Bellator, where his undefeated run was eventually ended by former UFC fighter Cheick Kongo, after easily winning another fight in the Brazilian regional scene he finally made it to the UFC through Dana White's Contender Series, since then he has knocked out Chase Sherman and Marcin Tybura in the UFC, and most notably defeated crowd and forum favorite Andrei Arlovski by way of Judge Robbery.

The 150lb Catchweight fight on the main card is a short notice replacement for both fighters, here is their faceoff: https://twitter.com/danawhite/status/1266448283825668096

For the rest of the fights, here are some words from beloved forum poster Bluedeanie:

Bluedeanie posted:

Antonina Shevchenko is Valentina Shekvchenko's worse sister. She is fighting Katlyn "Blonde Fighter" Chookagian, whose most recent fight was her getting highlight reel KO'd by Valentina for thr flyweight title.

Woodley is fighting Gilbert Boourns. He has been fighting in the UFC for a while and I remember some of it. His best wins are Gunnar Nelson and Cowboy Oliveira, which makes him probably ok. Woodley should beat him but Woodley should not have been flummoxed by the kickboxing of Jake Shields or stifled by the wrestling of Kamaru Usman either, so there's always a chance the wrong Tyron shows up.

On the undercard, Tim Elliott is a scrappy Amish man from Kansas who is better than his mma record and ufc record would suggest. He gave Mighty Mouse one of his best fights in the UFC and he likes to grapple. He is submission prone despite this and I have no idea if the ufc newcomer he is fighting has a background in that so who knows what happens there.

Also on the underard is Louis Smolka. He is not very good but has a lot of fun fights and has four OTN bonuses across his two ufc stints.

Opening the main card is Mackenzie Dern. You may ask me about her fights, or her rear end, but not both. Choose wisely.

That is the extent of my knowledge on this card. Hope it helps you on your journey

Fights should be starting about 2 hours from this post.

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Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Event's live, fights should start in about 10-15 minutes.

Looked it up and it looks like press has been told that the fights are in fact taking place in the smaller 25 foot wide octagon, should be interesting.

We've got Cormier, Bisping and Fitzgerald on commentary.

I thought it was gonna be Anik but that was from DC's comments on DC & Helwani, which probably means next weekend (UFC 250) should be DC, Rogan and Anik. DC confirmed he is staying in Vegas the full 11 days required for him to work both events.

Brut fucked around with this message at 23:09 on May 30, 2020

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
I like Joe Martinez.

Not that I want Buffer going anyway but I wouldn't mind he taking over.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

I don't know if I'm just cranky or what but the commentary team seem way too loving talkative right now, I want to hear more of the corners/fight sounds.

Holy poo poo they're talking over each other like they're on the Joe Rogan podcast.

Brut fucked around with this message at 23:29 on May 30, 2020

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


A corner stoppage after the first would have been justified.

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

Goddamn his leg

ccubed
Jul 14, 2016

How's it hanging, brah?
Leg kick TKO to start the night.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
Hell yea Leg TKO

Where's Lobster?

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

That ruled

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Digital Jedi posted:

Hell yea Leg TKO

Where's Lobster?

Brut
Aug 21, 2007



So many people in the tiny octagon.

ccubed
Jul 14, 2016

How's it hanging, brah?
Social distancing post fight interviews.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

ccubed posted:

Social distancing post fight interviews.

Yeah, I hate it.

Also how do fighters not know not to ask for the loving bonus by now.

BhindiBhaji Boogie
Aug 6, 2013

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Is there any chance that the main event is gonna be worth watching? The only Woodley fights I recall seeing were the really atrocious ones like the Wonderboy slog.

Power of Pecota
Aug 4, 2007

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

I miss one fight after finishing moving apartments and it was a leg kick TKO? gently caress

Power of Pecota
Aug 4, 2007

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

BhindiBhaji Boogie posted:

Is there any chance that the main event is gonna be worth watching? The only Woodley fights I recall seeing were the really atrocious ones like the Wonderboy slog.

I love watching Woodley fight because I won a decent chunk of money betting on Woodley/Maia going to a decision (I want to say it was like +280?) and that whole fight kicked so much rear end for someone who wanted nothing to happen

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

BhindiBhaji Boogie posted:

Is there any chance that the main event is gonna be worth watching? The only Woodley fights I recall seeing were the really atrocious ones like the Wonderboy slog.

Burns owns, he's gonna take it to Woodley, the Wonderboy fights being boring was mostly Wonderboy's fault.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Holy poo poo.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
drat wasn't expecting that fast of a tap

Edit: ESPN app really sucks. No popout video so I have to keep focus on it. And it does have a "go to live" if paused. I have to reopen the stream to catch up.

Digital Jedi fucked around with this message at 00:04 on May 31, 2020

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
The app sucks, the fights ain't bad.

Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

:swoon: MURALI :swoon:


How much smaller is this cage than normal? Seems super tiny.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Ratios and Tendency posted:

How much smaller is this cage than normal? Seems super tiny.

25 feet instead of 30 feet wide.

I missed the first half of this first round, anything worth rewinding for?

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Brut posted:

25 feet instead of 30 feet wide.

I missed the first half of this first round, anything worth rewinding for?

it's the greatest fight in UFC history so yes

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Hahahaha Royval's corner dude says "Take like 10% of your power off", copying what Gaethje was told.

CommonShore posted:

it's the greatest fight in UFC history so yes

????

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Brut posted:

Hahahaha Royval's corner dude says "Take like 10% of your power off", copying what Gaethje was told.


????

This fight is like methhead grappling it's amazing.

Street Horrrsing
Mar 24, 2010

Godwalker of The Grateful Prisoner



drat that was a fun match

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

CommonShore posted:

This fight is like methhead grappling it's amazing.

Ok yeah I went back and watched it, it was pretty fun.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Can someone watching through ESPN (my condolences) tell me if the censors let "shitshow" through?

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Looks bad on the UFC when you've got a guy who just won his fight with a nice finish looking downtrodden because he didn't earn himself enough.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Le Saboteur posted:

Looks bad on the UFC when you've got a guy who just won his fight with a nice finish looking downtrodden because he didn't earn himself enough.

I know I just said I don't like it when people ask for a bonus, but I feel like if you're gonna ask for a bonus, the exact way to do it is how this guy just did.

G-Hawk
Dec 15, 2003

just posting to note the 1st fight ruled

G-Hawk
Dec 15, 2003

woodley only -160, the disrespect

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

lmao Abreu sucks.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Turn it on just in time to see Abreu die.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Jerusalem posted:

Turn it on just in time to see Abreu die.

Hahaha what a sneaky edit.

I know you haven't asked (yet) but all 3 previous fights are worth watching, it's been a cool night.

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014

Well the ESPN absolutely refuses to work for me, sure glad to be one of the suckers actually paying for ESPN+

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Halle Berry is thirsty as gently caress and calling Dana White for hookups :3:

Brut posted:

Hahaha what a sneaky edit.

:ninja:

Brut posted:

I know you haven't asked (yet) but all 3 previous fights are worth watching, it's been a cool night.

Thanks, I'll jump back once the main fights are over :)

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Digital Jedi posted:

Hell yea Leg TKO

Where's Lobster?

sorry, i was eating bbq

slowly catching up now

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
Am I crazy if I placed bets on the assumption Woodley is over the hill?

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Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Chichevache posted:

Am I crazy if I placed bets on the assumption Woodley is over the hill?

Nah, burns gonna whoop his rear end.

Both these dudes are kinda thick and I think DC is forgetting this is welterweight when he's talking about how they're not gassed halfway through the second round.

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