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Stooge


I curse you to forget occasionally forget how to say... uh... that thing, it's blue I think? Goes in circles? Really popular right now. Agh, god, it's on the tip of my tongue, poo poo.

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biosterous




thy shoelaces will untie themselves once more per day than they would through normal wear!



thank you city of glompton for this sig!!!

magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation
i curse you with the inability to find whatever condiment you most need at the moment *spooky voice* even if it is UNDER YOUR VERY NOSE!




----------------
Thanks to Pot Smoke Phoenix and Heather Papps For The Amazing Sigs!

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

You are cursed with a song playing in the background every time you try to remember that other song you heard that you liked


Sig sandwich by Manifisto and Luvcow

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

Stooge


oOoOo your first born son might submit their tax return incorrectly sometimes oOoOo

Barking Gecko

Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Your checkout line will always be the slowest.

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns





Barking Gecko posted:

Your checkout line will always be the slowest.

This actually terrifies me



ty vanisher for this wonderful sig!

Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly



Beware, for from now on any pen you try to write with will magically not do anything for at least the first 5 seconds of scribbling!!

biosterous




you are cursed to accidentally spill three drinks onto clothes that aren't your best clothes but are still kinda high on the list



thank you city of glompton for this sig!!!

Khanstant

HONKING IS VIOLENCE

you are cursed with very bad duck, every egg u hatch will be a mean ol duck for 7 years

nut


you are cursed to open bananas from the other end

prepuce repurposed

felt cute, might delete later


you don't know jack. worse still, you will never know jack.



sig by vanisher®

Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly



There will always be a weird sound coming from your car and it is not harmful and will never get worse but despite your sincerest efforts you will never find out what it is and always have to worry it might be bad.

Stooge


Goons Are Great posted:

There will always be a weird sound coming from your car and it is not harmful and will never get worse but despite your sincerest efforts you will never find out what it is and always have to worry it might be bad.

and whenever you take it to the mechanic it stops making the sound so you try and make the noise yourself. Then the car makes a sound that you haven't heard before and it's totally different to the noise you just made, so you look like a fool.

more falafel please

forums poster
your internet will go out for like 2 minutes once a month or so, and by the time you pull up the service map to see if it's an outage it'll be bakc



sig by pot smoke phoenix

Jaguars!



May the dog always be outside when you need to blame it for a fart

Khanstant

HONKING IS VIOLENCE

When you go to use mustard, the liquid stuff will always pour out and get the bread soggy no matter how much you shake the bottle first

Yinlock



you'll have that fart where you think it's gonna come out quiet but it's actually really loud when you let it go


Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly



May your bread always be on exactly that age where it is too hard to enjoy regularly and too soft to make it through the toaster without ruining it entirely!

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

Khanstant posted:

When you go to use mustard, the liquid stuff will always pour out and get the bread soggy no matter how much you shake the bottle first

The counterspell for this is squeezing the musquirt into the sink before you squeeze it over the sammich


Sig sandwich by Manifisto and Luvcow

Stooge


Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

The counterspell for this is squeezing the musquirt into the sink before you squeeze it over the sammich

Curse that stops you using this counterspell

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

Curse for when someone tries to get rid of the evidence on the highway out of the back of their truck

https://twitter.com/tw_kotsujiko/st...6532025344?s=20


Sig sandwich by Manifisto and Luvcow

super sweet best pal


more falafel please posted:

your internet will go out for like 2 minutes once a month or so, and by the time you pull up the service map to see if it's an outage it'll be bakc

I’d be happy if mine only went out once a day.

super sweet best pal


Good things will happen to people around you who are obviously better off than you are.

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




one out of every three times you smile at a baby it will burst into an uncontrollable fit of weeping until you leave


thank you very much vanisher, x 2, and six for the loveliest handwriting ever

Jaguars!



May your girlfriend permanently change to a more practical hairstyle that is a little bit less sexy

May your boyfriend stubbornly refuse to believe that he looks better without his inexplicable moustache

nut


newt’s arse

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




i used nightshade from concentrate so instead of turning into a tree that idiot just enjoys sunshine WAY more now


thank you very much vanisher, x 2, and six for the loveliest handwriting ever

biosterous




a pox on thee! thy week will be no better than "okay, i guess"!



thank you city of glompton for this sig!!!

Barking Gecko

Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

A parking spot close to the store entrance will open up as you are trudging in from the distant reaches of the parking lot, having given up on finding anything closer.

Skylight

DIE TO THE DEATH!
SENTANCE TO DEATH!
GREAT EQUALIZER IS THE DEATH!



may your socks almost match, but not quite

Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)


You will henceforth be unable to eat salsa, hummus, or yogurt without getting some on your shirt!

super sweet best pal


Things you buy will go on sale soon after you buy them but not soon enough to still be in the refund window.

super sweet best pal


You will hear fake spoilers that sound reasonable enough to be real and will spend the entire movie wondering if they’ll actually happen.

Khanstant

HONKING IS VIOLENCE

you go to the bathroom and do a number two, but there's no bidet so you have it wipe your rear end with your hand and paper lol

caleb
...rough day at the orifice.
Automated motion sensing doors at stores will take 5 seconds to recognize you so any time you try to enter anywhere you get confused and look up for a bit and then it opens.

caleb
...rough day at the orifice.
Every time you microwave a burrito no matter how much paper towel you wrap it in or how many times you flip it there's always one bite where it's still a little cold.

All of your expected wait times to speak to an agent on all customer service calls for the rest of your life are extended by one minute.

caleb fucked around with this message at 11:30 on Jun 5, 2020

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




that thing where tape sticks from one hand to the other trying to get it off will last three times as long


thank you very much vanisher, x 2, and six for the loveliest handwriting ever

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Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly



You will always either tie your shoes badly resulting in open shoes during your every day life or will make them so neat that you can need up to five minutes per shoe to open them up again

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