My father was pronounced dead.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > My father was pronounced dead.

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Gross Dude: Gross Dude

And boy do I feel dumb! I was pronouncing it dad this whole time!

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:15

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:15

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:18

Gross Dude: Gross Dude

No worries my dad is okay, this is just a funny joke about a close relative dying. Please post any funny jokes about your loved ones perishing.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:20

nut

prepuce repurposed posted:

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:21

wearing a lampshade

Lmao

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:40

Goons Are Gifts

prepuce repurposed posted:

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:41

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

My inner child is dead.

Long live my inner child!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:43

Trying

You're so bad

:five:

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:46

Heather Papps: hello friend

now that one's cornier than aunt gemmas festival winnin' bread!
/
:dadjoke:

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jun 5, 2020 00:52

nut

that�s how I met your murder

# ? Jun 5, 2020 01:15

Trying

"Pull my finger!"

*expires*

# ? Jun 5, 2020 01:16

google THIS

I hope you called him an ambulance.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 01:27

Trying

google THIS posted:

I hope you called him an ambulance.

I respected his commitment to the bit and said "You're an ambulance." Its what he would've wanted.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 01:32

cda: by Hand Knit

nut posted:

that’s how I met your murder

# ? Jun 5, 2020 01:43

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

nut posted:

that�s how I met your murder

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jun 5, 2020 01:48

cda: by Hand Knit

So, what's the deal with loved ones perishing, am I right? It's like, oh baby, I love you so much, you're the light of my life, how could I go on without y--...*makes farting noise*... You're dead now? [waits for laughter] You're deceased? *increasingly British voice* you're an ex-person? you've gone to join the choir invisible? [waits again for laughter] Monty Python. That's a Monty Python bit in case you didn't know. *the camera pulls back to show that I'm standing in a graveyard in front of a mausoleum with the words "I AM LOST WITHOUT YOU" carved on its walls.*

# ? Jun 5, 2020 04:22

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

cda posted:

So, what's the deal with loved ones perishing, am I right? It's like, oh baby, I love you so much, you're the light of my life, how could I go on without y--...*makes farting noise*... You're dead now? [waits for laughter] You're deceased? *increasingly British voice* you're an ex-person? you've gone to join the choir invisible? [waits again for laughter] Monty Python. That's a Monty Python bit in case you didn't know. *the camera pulls back to show that I'm standing in a graveyard in front of a mausoleum with the words "I AM LOST WITHOUT YOU" carved on its walls.*

loving

# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:01

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

cda posted:

So, what's the deal with loved ones perishing, am I right? It's like, oh baby, I love you so much, you're the light of my life, how could I go on without y--...*makes farting noise*... You're dead now? [waits for laughter] You're deceased? *increasingly British voice* you're an ex-person? you've gone to join the choir invisible? [waits again for laughter] Monty Python. That's a Monty Python bit in case you didn't know. *the camera pulls back to show that I'm standing in a graveyard in front of a mausoleum with the words "I AM LOST WITHOUT YOU" carved on its walls.*

# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:14

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

Your father, he was my dad, who was dead. I hate your father. Please our father, banned from forums forever, cast into BYOB heck where his weed is denied to him. Pronounced RIP, Rancid Intestinal Polyp.

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# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:22

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

esplain

# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:28

Ass-penny

This was a good joke, I laughed.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:33

Khanstant

im reading a lot of things in the OP and following posts that are making me laugh IRL but i'll never tell ...

# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:56

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

prepuce repurposed posted:

esplain

The shared father was a bastard, regularly he would place leeks in our hands and claim they were sufficient and equal to body safe silicone dildos, as we all know, leeks are highly porous and thus can store filth within them not easily washed out. Father we said, how dare you, sons/daughters/you all he said, I was trying to teach you a listen about potentially avoiding toxemia but unfortunately it is a lesson that must be taught through harsh measures. But father we said, but father we said again and it turned out we forgot what was going on because the weedsmoke within the room had finally reached above our noses and placed us in a euphoric stupor.

May God drat our father to an eternity of smelling 80s printer ink.

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# ? Jun 5, 2020 06:01

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

thanks for clearing that up :bigwhat:

# ? Jun 5, 2020 06:08

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

teaching my students the importance of distinguishing btween homophones by lighting my aunt on fire with a giant magnifying glass

# ? Jun 5, 2020 06:13

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

prepuce repurposed posted:

thanks for clearing that up

Friend... I see good things in your future.

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# ? Jun 5, 2020 06:28

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

teaching my students the importance of distinguishing btween homophones by lighting my aunt on fire with a giant magnifying glass

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Jun 5, 2020 09:47

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

knock knock

who's there?

child protective services. open up

child protective services open up who?

this isn't a joke kid. we've been trying to get ahold of your parents for months. the gig is up

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
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# ? Jun 5, 2020 09:54

Tomfoolery

A man walked into a bar and fell down cracking his skull open and then he died

Is that a hammer in your pocket, or is that a malignant tumor and you are about to die

Your mom is so fat, that she suffered a heart attack and died

What's the difference between your dad and a dog? There are no dogs buried at arlington national cemetery

Thank you guys, I'll be here all week. I am sitting shiva for seven days and seven nights.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 18:15

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

nut posted:

that’s how I met your murder

# ? Jun 5, 2020 18:52

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

oh but seriously I posted:

"Pull my finger!"

*expires*

# ? Jun 5, 2020 18:54

Ass-penny

Your mom is so fat it took me two buses and a train to get on her good side.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:39

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

cda posted:

So, what's the deal with loved ones perishing, am I right? It's like, oh baby, I love you so much, you're the light of my life, how could I go on without y--...*makes farting noise*... You're dead now? [waits for laughter] You're deceased? *increasingly British voice* you're an ex-person? you've gone to join the choir invisible? [waits again for laughter] Monty Python. That's a Monty Python bit in case you didn't know. *the camera pulls back to show that I'm standing in a graveyard in front of a mausoleum with the words "I AM LOST WITHOUT YOU" carved on its walls.*

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:47

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

My momma didn't raise no dummy!

My DADDY did!

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:48

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

This is like Roald Dahl.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:56

Doctor Dogballs: driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

I still remember the last thign my grampa said before he kicked the bucket

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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"The Bad Boy of Comics"

# ? Jun 5, 2020 20:31

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

Doctor Dogballs posted:

I still remember the last thign my grampa said before he kicked the bucket

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Jun 5, 2020 20:47

google THIS

Doctor Dogballs posted:

I still remember the last thign my grampa said before he kicked the bucket

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

# ? Jun 5, 2020 20:59

wearing a lampshade

cda posted:

So, what's the deal with loved ones perishing, am I right? It's like, oh baby, I love you so much, you're the light of my life, how could I go on without y--...*makes farting noise*... You're dead now? [waits for laughter] You're deceased? *increasingly British voice* you're an ex-person? you've gone to join the choir invisible? [waits again for laughter] Monty Python. That's a Monty Python bit in case you didn't know. *the camera pulls back to show that I'm standing in a graveyard in front of a mausoleum with the words "I AM LOST WITHOUT YOU" carved on its walls.*

# ? Jun 5, 2020 21:32

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:15

wearing a lampshade

Doctor Dogballs posted:

I still remember the last thign my grampa said before he kicked the bucket

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

# ? Jun 5, 2020 21:32

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > My father was pronounced dead.

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