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Totally unconnected to anything that may or may not have happened in the past five minutes but is there a subspecies of Chastealeon that gives things back, by putting them directly in my hand the moment I reach peak panic about where my phone is?
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Jun 12, 2020 21:49
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:16 |
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The Sweveness likes to attack in your sleep. She gives you dreams that are mundane to mildly infuriating about what your day ahead is going to be like. So it will feel like you've been working for a full day already so when you actually wake up and realise you haven't even started yet your day will feel more than twice as long as normal.
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Jun 12, 2020 22:05
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Your phone just vibrated and you looked at it to see who messaged you, but there's nothing there? Oh! You could have sworn you just heard a Slack message come through on the computer... but there is no message? Well you, friend, might have a Nonotiff nearby. At about the size of a small mouse, these little bastards mimic the sounds and vibrations of your notifications. They feed off of that special anxiety that comes when you think you've heard a text message come through, but when you go to check... nothing. And then you spend the next couple of minutes going through your messages to make sure you didn't accidentally miss something. But you didn't. It's just the Nonotiff. Check on the shoulders of your chair or behind your screens. One could be hanging out there. 
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Jun 12, 2020 22:47
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I wonder if these are related to whatever malicious spirit it is that moves your phone/wallet/keys to some random pocket where those things never go. Like, why would I suddenly decide to put the phone in the right hand coat pocket, a place I wouldn't even think to check after increasing anxiety and desperate mental backtracking? Some sort of demon is the only answer e: Deformed Church posted:Totally unconnected to anything that may or may not have happened in the past five minutes but is there a subspecies of Chastealeon that gives things back, by putting them directly in my hand the moment I reach peak panic about where my phone is? Yeah, whatever it's called, it's a freaking jerk a kitten fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Jun 12, 2020 |
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Jun 12, 2020 22:58
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a kitten posted:I wonder if these are related to whatever malicious spirit it is that moves your phone/wallet/keys to some random pocket where those things never go. Like, why would I suddenly decide to put the phone in the right hand coat pocket, a place I wouldn't even think to check after increasing anxiety and desperate mental backtracking? The worst version of this is when I got off a six hour flight and couldn't find my wallet in my pocket. After like 5 minutes of freaking out I found it in the most obscure pocket of my backpack.
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Jun 12, 2020 23:00
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You feel a chill run down your spine as you notice the faint disruptions of the air caused by rotating blades of metal and steel slicing through the air. Your office door opens and a young adolescent walks into your office with a downtrodden expression on his face as two large monstrosities hover over him before finally surrounding him to his left and right. You become repulsed by sight of the two monsters as you notice their many arms, focused eyes, and what could only be large helicopter blades protruding out of their backs. The young child looks defeated as he allows one of them to comb his hair and speaks for him, while the other dresses him and tells him what to do. You try to speak directly to the boy but the shrieks of the two monsters prevent you from having any sort of meaningful conversation with the child. Clearly the monsters are playing some sort of overprotective parental role... yet you wonder if it's more of a parasitic role instead. You start to make a mental note of what you are witnessing. The monsters prevent the child from having any sort of independent thought or action, and whenever the child is about to speak the monsters shriek and speak for him. Defeated, you slip the application in front of the child and you watch as what you consider the maternal monster signs the document with the child's hand. Once they leave you become relieved... What you thought was only legend has finally arrived at your doorstep. And when you gaze outside you see there are more of them coming. You make a note on your sticky note and refer these monsters as the Helicopterous Parentontous 
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Jun 13, 2020 03:24
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Have you ever opened the fridge looking for something specific but you couldn't find it and gave up, only to find it right in front of your nose the second you stopped looking for it? Congratulations, you've been visited by a refrige-hater! These pesky demons are from the same dimension that houses all the socks you lose on laundry day.
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Jun 13, 2020 13:41
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A mermaid, but, like... sexy? Sexy mermaid.
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Jun 13, 2020 22:02
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Volcott posted:A mermaid, but, like... sexy? So AMAB means All Mermaids Are Beautiful?
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Jun 13, 2020 22:42
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Fartington Butts posted:The worst version of this is when I got off a six hour flight and couldn't find my wallet in my pocket. After like 5 minutes of freaking out I found it in the most obscure pocket of my backpack. This is the Confidincarus. It whispers to you that you should do something very important in an obviously rear end-backwards or obscure manner with the promise that it is so strange that you will stop and ponder why it was done this way and in doing so consider all the careful things needed to take into account, but when you come out of the spell you find you've done things in an rear end-backwards and obscure manner that only confuses, enrages, and panics you.
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Jun 13, 2020 22:45
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I was walking down the hallway to my room. When I entered the room, I completely forgot why I came in, so I went back to the living room. Two minutes later, I decide that there's certainly some reason why I went in there, so I go back and take a look around but the thing just won't come to me! So I go back to the living room, sit on the couch and "HEADPHONES!" I was going to go get headphones. And what do you think I see hanging on top of the doorway when I'm about to enter my room for the third time? A damned Thresholding Musnobimp, plucking the thought right out of my head whenever I walked under it!
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Jun 14, 2020 09:12
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Volcott posted:A mermaid, but, like... sexy? For the last time, you keep away from the manatee exhibit! 
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Jun 14, 2020 14:17
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The Glurn lives in your refrigerator. After you close the door, and the light goes out, he will sometimes come out from his hiding place (usually behind the mayonnaise) and turn the light back on. This has no major ill effects, other than slightly reducing the lifespan of your fridge light.
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Jun 14, 2020 14:53
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I want a TemTem style Pokémon clone, but with these.
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Jun 14, 2020 16:47
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Double May Care posted:I was walking down the hallway to my room. When I entered the room, I completely forgot why I came in, so I went back to the living room. Two minutes later, I decide that there's certainly some reason why I went in there, so I go back and take a look around but the thing just won't come to me! So I go back to the living room, sit on the couch and "HEADPHONES!" I was going to go get headphones. And what do you think I see hanging on top of the doorway when I'm about to enter my room for the third time? Ugh! These guys 
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Jun 14, 2020 17:54
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shoeberto posted:I want a TemTem style Pokémon clone, but with these. Yo-kai Watch has lots of monsters like these, but I know nothing about how good it is.
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Jun 14, 2020 20:53
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The North American Woods Pervert The mysterious cryptid that leaves porno mags in bushes and treehollows throughout the United States.
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Jun 14, 2020 23:33
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Cat Army
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Fartington Butts posted:Your phone just vibrated and you looked at it to see who messaged you, but there's nothing there? pretty sure i've got a relative of these critters nesting in my house, one that always tricks me into thinking i'm hearing my alarm go off when it's not even close to the time i usually get out of bed
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Jun 15, 2020 16:05
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Fartington Butts posted:Your phone just vibrated and you looked at it to see who messaged you, but there's nothing there? Definitely haunted by one or more of these
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Jun 15, 2020 17:09
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Solovey posted:pretty sure i've got a relative of these critters nesting in my house, one that always tricks me into thinking i'm hearing my alarm go off when it's not even close to the time i usually get out of bed Get yourself a few trees full of these guys outside your window. You'll know exactly when it's time to get up - even if it isn't time to get up yet.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQwM98YiNUA
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Jun 15, 2020 23:29
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The Ochman lies in wait in dark corners, reaching out one spindly arm to trip you or jog your arm just when you raise that full glass of beer or step out of the shop with your fresh kebab. He gets his nourishment not from the treats he makes you spill, but from your drunken tears of regret.
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Jun 16, 2020 04:02
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Inceltown posted:Get yourself a few trees full of these guys outside your window. You'll know exactly when it's time to get up - even if it isn't time to get up yet. a loud but pretty monster - miss these guys, just moved to a new place and don't have as much of the bird life. still got galahs, honey eaters and magpies in large numbers at least i guess! seems too quiet without them though
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Jun 16, 2020 06:57
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 Phy posted:Ware the grevot, who crawls into your bathroom while you're in the shower. It clings to the ceiling, and while your eyes are closed against the shampoo, it reaches down one long, spindly claw, to drag it  Chris Pistols posted:The Cereal Ape - An ape that has gained an awareness of breakfast cereal and will stop at nothing to sate its hunger.  Cobalt-60 posted:Dirt Ghosts rear end-penny posted:I don't know what it's called, but there's certainly a gremlin in my basement because I swear I'm checking the pockets of my pants before doing laundry, but every time I open the dryer I'm finding shredded tissues, pocket change, foam hearing protection, paper money...  Moo the cow posted:I saw one in a field.  Manifisto posted:there is some kind of evil spirit hiding in the list of sa smilies. this devious little fucker rearranges the smilies as I am scanning through the list, so that I can go through an entire section top to bottom and not see the smilie I want, but then I do it again and suddenly the smilie is there. this would not be possible without someone modifying the list in real time in order to deny me the specific quirky emoji that I desperately need to punch up my post.  Comrade Blyatlov posted:The Invisisquirrel. It's a lot like a regular squirrel, but invisible and likes to wander on up to houses and make dogs go absolutely apeshit, causing their humans to wonder if there's something they can't see. 
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Jun 16, 2020 19:34
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oh my gosh 
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Jun 17, 2020 03:28
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:16 |
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Just as the prophecy foretold... A+ post BoldFrankensteinMir 
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Jun 17, 2020 07:11
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