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The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy

Burt Sexual posted:

My dmv is highly automated and has like 15 video screens showing your wait time (~20)

But the vision test thing fucknthat. Dirty as gently caress I failed, went to an eye dr. Had a test and he handed me a note. Covid aside, don’t take a test at the dmv lol

I should really wear glasses, I guessed 3/5 on the last line, somehow still passed. guess it really was an E, an R and a G

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Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

The DMV used to be the only place I could physically feel the passage of time, and my actual life force draining from my body.

Its really not so bad these days, especially if you are able to take a personal day and go on like, a Thursday.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003


The_Continental posted:

The DMV used to be the only place I could physically feel the passage of time, and my actual life force draining from my body.

This. This never changes.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
I tried to make myself no longer an organ donor last time at the DMV and they just ignored me, my license still says "DONOR", someones gonna steal my organs lmao

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003


It's me I'm coming for them right now

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


ORIGINAL ORGANS DO NOT STEAL

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
I think part of it might just be a really poor layout. Like you show up to a typical dmv or even dmv-esque place and you'll see all the staff there, but only one ever appears to be doing anything. I'm assuming the others are handling online stuff, administrative paperwork, managing by scrolling up and down their outlook box and trashtalking the people doing stuff to other management, etc, but it always feels like any one of the other people could make the line move faster. Given the generous assumption that they are in fact busy and productive, just with other stuff, they should probably have the building more sectioned off so you just see one person dealing with the long line and internalize that it'll be a while.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
The women (and rarely, men) who work at these places and similar are all super nice and accommodating to me so maybe you haters should try being handsome af + friendlier before you start voting republican

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006


Private Cumshoe posted:

I tried to make myself no longer an organ donor last time at the DMV and they just ignored me, my license still says "DONOR", someones gonna steal my organs lmao

mine does too, I'm up for renewal like, next year? if I'm at the point it matters I wouldn't care. but I won't change it. jokes on you, harvesters! this poo poo is hosed.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

The Breakfast Sampler posted:

mine does too, I'm up for renewal like, next year? if I'm at the point it matters I wouldn't care. but I won't change it. jokes on you, harvesters! this poo poo is hosed.

I'm changing mine when I get a Real ID in the next few months and make sure they do it right this time, organ donation in the United States is some hosed up poo poo

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006


oh, and that poo poo is probably worse than you expect. when my wife died, the only thing they wanted was her skin and her eyes . she was a donor, they looked it over, that's what they wanted.

and I had to sign a form saying that I was cool with that. (I didn't exactly.)

I got in an argument with some geriatric rear end in a top hat hospital cop dude. and I was not okay with it, in that moment. about this less than an hour after she died. so. I hope most hospitals handle it a little nicer.

what I'm saying is, it's not really the virtuous thing you'd expect, at least from my limited experience. I'm not making any of this up, this is what they hit me with while she was still dead and still warm. It's not conspiracy poo poo, I lived through this.

The Breakfast Sampler fucked around with this message at 04:11 on Jun 13, 2020

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Personally i hope my entire corpse gets exploded by experimental ordinance, so that even in death I may fuel the military industrial complex.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

idgi, organs going to needy people, the whole thing is a bit ghoulish in general but I don't think SKIN and EYES are weirder than HEART or LIVER.

Punkinhead
Apr 2, 2015

SilvergunSuperman posted:

idgi, organs going to needy people, the whole thing is a bit ghoulish in general but I don't think SKIN and EYES are weirder than HEART or LIVER.

I get it though. When it comes to my own corpse I'm like yeah, whatever, take what you need and burn the rest idgaf. But when imagining it happening to my wife I hesitate a little.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

I appreciate it's not easy, but you need the organs in good condition so an appropriate mourning time before paperwork isn't really possible.

It seems like completing an extremely virtuous final act on their behalf is a great tribute.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

The Breakfast Sampler posted:

oh, and that poo poo is probably worse than you expect. when my wife died, the only thing they wanted was her skin and her eyes . she was a donor, they looked it over, that's what they wanted.

and I had to sign a form saying that I was cool with that. (I didn't exactly.)

I got in an argument with some geriatric rear end in a top hat hospital cop dude. and I was not okay with it, in that moment. about this less than an hour after she died. so. I hope most hospitals handle it a little nicer.

what I'm saying is, it's not really the virtuous thing you'd expect, at least from my limited experience. I'm not making any of this up, this is what they hit me with while she was still dead and still warm. It's not conspiracy poo poo, I lived through this.
this is actually pretty common and it's disgusting. big biotech corporations spent millions lobbying for california organ donor program to be integrated with DMV and recently made even more favorable to them through a few laws, and then extract wealth from (usually poor/minority) bodies under the pretense of Do The Right Thing. they're really more interested in high-profit cosmetic and gotta give those CEO a bigger quarterly profit

https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2019-10-13/body-parts-harvesting-hinders-coroner-autopsies

quote:

The case is one of dozens of death investigations across the country, including more than two dozen in Los Angeles and San Diego counties, that The Times found were complicated or upended when transplantable body parts were taken before a coroner’s autopsy was performed.

In multiple cases, coroners have had to guess at the cause of death. Wrongful-death and medical malpractice lawsuits have been thwarted by early tissue harvesting. A death after a fight with police remains unsettled. The procurement process caused changes to bodies that medical examiners mistook as injuries or abuse. In at least one case, a murder charge was dropped.
...
To raise those numbers, California and other states over the last decade passed laws requiring coroners and medical examiners to “cooperate” with the companies to “maximize” the number of organs and tissues taken for transplant. Procurement companies’ lobbyists helped to write the legislation and push it into law.

In a handful of states the laws go even further, giving the companies the power to force coroners to delay autopsies until they have harvested the body parts.

Although the companies have emphasized organ transplants, in far more cases nationwide they harvested skin, bone, fat, ligaments and other tissues that are generally not used for life-threatening conditions. Those body parts fuel a booming industrial biotech market in which a half-teaspoon of ground-up human skin is priced at $434. That product is one of those used in cosmetic surgery to plump lips and posteriors, fill cellulite dimples and enhance penises. A single body can supply raw materials for products that sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
...
The county’s contract with OneLegacy does contain restrictions. Procurements from victims of suspected child abuse and officer-involved homicides must be approved by a senior morgue official.

Another notable contract exception: Donation is “generally unsuitable” in cases of media interest, including celebrity deaths.
..
In 2007, the year the laws passed in California and many other states, the procurement companies obtained just 2% of donors of bone, skin or other tissues through referrals by coroners and medical examiners, according to a survey by the American Assn. of Tissue Banks. Now, some companies report that a majority of their donors come from those being wheeled into the county morgue.

Mone, the CEO of OneLegacy, which operates in seven Southern California counties, said about 63% of organ donors and 51% of tissue donors came from the company’s partnerships with morgues in 2017.

“The law,” he said, “has been very beneficial.”
...
To increase the supply of harvested body parts, the companies have embedded procurement teams inside government morgues across the country.

Morgue officials at times give the corporate employees key cards so they can enter at any hour. The companies rent rooms inside the morgues, including suites where surgical teams harvest donors’ tissues.

In a growing number of counties nationwide, the companies can log into government computer files on the newly deceased, allowing them to swiftly find potential candidates for procurement.

In Michigan, a company called Gift of Life said donations of bone and other tissues soared after its foundation gave some coroner offices iPads loaded with special software to record details of a death at the scene, which are transmitted instantly to the company.

For several decades, federal rules have required hospitals to alert procurement companies when anyone dies inside their walls. With the new connections to government morgue computers, the companies also know immediately about deaths outside hospitals — and have contacted families when the body of a loved one is still at the scene, according to written complaints made to supervisors by morgue staff in Los Angeles and Tacoma, Wash.

“I was inside the residence performing my investigation and the family was standing by outside,” Kim Pavek, an L.A. County coroner investigator, wrote in an internal complaint about OneLegacy after a suicide in 2008. “The decedent’s mother asked me why someone from my office would call her cellphone during such a distraught time.... She explained to me that someone from OneLegacy said they were a representative from the coroner’s office inquiring about ‘donating parts.’ ”
...
Despite the limited review, The Times found more than two dozen cases in which the procurements made it harder to determine the cause of death. In many of those cases, coroners were unable to conclude either why or how the person died.

The cases included possible homicides, highway accidents, deaths after surgeries, a drug overdose, a suspected suicide and a death that followed a fight with a police officer. The deceased ranged from homeless people to members of wealthy families, although more were poor than rich. Most were middle-age or younger. One was a child.

In at least five cases, the documents show that companies harvested body parts without reporting what appeared to be a death from a crime, an accident or suicide to coroner officials. California law requires any person in charge of a body who has knowledge that the death may have been from unnatural causes to immediately alert the coroner.

my death for corporate profits

its a real shame because it is a 'Good Thing' because who loving care when you're dead, but organ donor often ends up going directly to extraordinarily wealthy white boomers, disporportionedly donated from poor/minorities, and often harvested poo poo like skin for executive bonuses in search of some dope biotech dividend profits--just further increases healthcare inequality and disproportionality benefits the wealthy. it's a co-opted liberal feelgood bullshit and it's anti-praxis at this point

i ended up taking my organ donor status off last time i renewed.

e: also congrats ur wife was ground up to give jeff bezos of Gilead a fuckton of money to plump melania trump's lips

Xaris fucked around with this message at 04:35 on Jun 13, 2020

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006


SilvergunSuperman posted:

idgi, organs going to needy people, the whole thing is a bit ghoulish in general but I don't think SKIN and EYES are weirder than HEART or LIVER.

probably, but the whole thing is so procedural that for the medical system it's squeezing fruit at a market. open casket wasn't an option; they were legally allowed to do whatever they wanted to (as it was explained to me.) I was very forcefully told that that could do whatever they wanted to, because she was a donor.

there's a difference between a necessary cremation that you didn't sign up for and an open casket which you might have. not that I wanted either. there is a difference. I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you never have to deal with it. gently caress you. for the distinction, I mean. don't demean people's experiences for details like that. really, the point stands, why would you split hairs like this?

The Breakfast Sampler fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Jun 13, 2020

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
this got dark. sorry for your loss goon. I am also now very concerned about how many teaspoons of skin I have.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬



The Breakfast Sampler posted:

oh, and that poo poo is probably worse than you expect. when my wife died, the only thing they wanted was her skin and her eyes . she was a donor, they looked it over, that's what they wanted.

Exact same thing happened to me. When my wife passed away, I had a voicemail within an hour asking for her eyes. I had medical friends with me, and they said that they wouldn’t actually use them for transplants or anything and that given the loving circumstances I shouldn’t feel like I needed to return that call.

Laslow
Jul 18, 2007
I want to donate my body to the Army for ordnance testing, but I don’t know if that’s something I do at the DMV or if I need to mention it in my will.

Stealth Tiger
Nov 14, 2009

The only complaint I have about the DMV recently is the line the last time I went was literally like 200 people long. They kept it organized but I'm pretty sure if that many people were waiting in line at any place you needed to be it would be miserable.

But if they built another DMV then that means that the greedy government would have to take your hard earned dollars to pay for it!!!11

Derpies
Mar 11, 2014

by sebmojo
I have an appointment tomorrow at the DMV to pay my bad boy registered too late fees but have no idea what an appointment entails.

The_Franz
Aug 8, 2003

Dr. Gojo Shioji posted:

Just get a passport. They're already Real ID compliant, and they weigh about an ounce so you have to be a colossal wiener to complain about having to carry one to the airport. Also, you can do the process at your local library to avoid lines at the post office, and you get the fringe benefit of being able to leave the country whenever you want to.

I had to renew my license two years ago, and I was extremely grateful to be able to tell them I wanted a regular license since everyone else in the building was trying in vain for three times as long to appease the Formlord for Real ID compliant licenses.

In some states, the only difference between a complaint and non-compliant license is that the complaint one requires two pieces of mail proving your address instead of just one. You still need proof of name, birth, legal residence, etc... There is no sense in not getting a complaint license unless you really can't come up with one extra piece of mail with your address.

The US should just add a permanent address field on the back of the passport card and bingo: instant, federally issued, compliant ID for everyone.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Back in the days before everything became entirely automated in my country and done online, my wife worked in the DMV equivalent and her stories were always amazing - she had a guy who wouldn't fill in a form because the government were vampires; he proudly showed her his acual tin foil lined baseball cap where he also kept his garlic (just in case). Another woman who filled in all her forms 'GIVE ME A JOB' as many times as she could in tiny writing. She did this at least once a week. My wife once made her supervisor cry in the elevator by calling him an impotent vole because he went off on a 'females are the root of all evil' rant. I think she lasted 2 year there, which is amazing. It paid like poo poo too.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
Honestly it's not a big deal. Just browse the forums while you wait.

Skinnymansbeerbelly
Apr 1, 2010
I hate the DMV because I got the letter saying that I have to go in, in person, to renew my license this year, one week after all state offices closed due to 'roni, and also because their stupid online system won't loving verify the two-factor auth so I can't even make an appointment, so I will have to go wait in a miles long line whenever they reopen for walk-ins.

e: def gonna wear my germ cannon!

HungryMedusa
Apr 28, 2003


The woman who helped me at the DMV last time made the experience weird. I was sitting there for an hour before I got called and this lady was really nice to everybody else. I finally get called up, no big deal, playing games on my phone for an hour isn’t the worst. The DMV lady looks through my paperwork, and mentions she knows my boss when looking at my pay stub. She evidently does not like my boss.

I got an enhanced ID and she tried to talk me out of it. I said no, I really do want the enhanced. She sighed and said something about she hoped I was able to afford it. I am just silent trying to get the gently caress out of there because DMV and its like $20 and its weird. And back at that time I hoped to go on vacation some day and fly to exotic places.

We get to the photo and she goes “look here” and points to a sign that basically says “look here.” I do. She says “no, look here” pointing at the same sign. She snaps the photo. On my ID I am making the stupidest face ever. A combo of “huh” and “wtf”. Its a hilariously bad photo.

I want to know what my boss ever did to this lady. I have been working for my boss for almost 20 years and she is not a person who picks fights afaik. Maybe she does at the DMV?

Thanks for reading my exciting DMV story.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Skinnymansbeerbelly posted:

I hate the DMV because I got the letter saying that I have to go in, in person, to renew my license this year, one week after all state offices closed due to 'roni, and also because their stupid online system won't loving verify the two-factor auth so I can't even make an appointment, so I will have to go wait in a miles long line whenever they reopen for walk-ins.

e: def gonna wear my germ cannon!
California makes you go in-person to renew every 3? renewals or something and it sucks but I guess it's pretty close to once every 12 years so whatever. It mostly sucked mroe because I just did get the whole new RealID thing back in Nov complete with thumb/picture, but it didn't push my back renewal so I had to go back in Feb/March in person to renew like less than 5 months later

Skinnymansbeerbelly
Apr 1, 2010
According to this they have eliminated having to go in for the 3rd renewal, but I can't apply online without a validated account, and I can't renew by mail because I have the old form. :allears:

cinnamon rollout
Jun 12, 2001

The early bird gets the worm
The last DMV I went to had a line that wrapped around the building outdoors in 90+ degree heat and 80% humidity. That line was to get inside the building to stand in the second line. This DMV has no online presence so when I called to make an appointment the lady was gracious enough to make an exception for me since I had just had back surgery. So I was able to get a scheduled appointment instead of wait in line, and it was only two months out so pretty good deal.
Anyway the people who had to stand in that line definitely wouldn't try to murder you if you went inside the building to try to figure out what was going on and if you were actually expected to wait outside in the heat all day.
The DMV is great honestly some I wish I worked there because it seems like an environment that encourages friendly discourse and I bet you meet a lot of interesting people.

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
I agree with the OP, my time is worthless I don’t mind waiting forever to renew my drivers license

Agrinja
Nov 30, 2013

Praise the Sun!

Total Clam
I don't know, the DMV here isn't much hassle. most of the time I've had trouble it's because I've been a dumb loving forgot some paperwork that I needed. It's been a bit of a wait but it's not like I can't just play on my phone.

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




HungryMedusa posted:

We get to the photo and she goes “look here” and points to a sign that basically says “look here.” I do. She says “no, look here” pointing at the same sign. She snaps the photo. On my ID I am making the stupidest face ever. A combo of “huh” and “wtf”. Its a hilariously bad photo.

This reminds me of the last time I had to renew my license, which included doing a new photo. I looked towards the camera naturally, and the lady was like, "Tilt your head down," so I did a little. And then she's like, "No, tilt your head down more, keep going, keep going, okay." I wasn't ostrich necking for the photo or anything, so I feel awkward, and I immediately know this isn't right when she snaps the photo. I don't get to see it until 20 minutes later when they issue my new card and the photo looks like I'm trying to make myself look like a frog or something - like when Ricky Gervais used to make weird faces in his bathtub and post it to twitter.

People who work at the DMV are weird motherfuckers who get their jollies in the dumbest loving ways.

HungryMedusa
Apr 28, 2003


LabyaMynora posted:

This reminds me of the last time I had to renew my license, which included doing a new photo. I looked towards the camera naturally, and the lady was like, "Tilt your head down," so I did a little. And then she's like, "No, tilt your head down more, keep going, keep going, okay." I wasn't ostrich necking for the photo or anything, so I feel awkward, and I immediately know this isn't right when she snaps the photo. I don't get to see it until 20 minutes later when they issue my new card and the photo looks like I'm trying to make myself look like a frog or something - like when Ricky Gervais used to make weird faces in his bathtub and post it to twitter.

People who work at the DMV are weird motherfuckers who get their jollies in the dumbest loving ways.

I wonder if they have a contest, like who can make someone look the worst in their ID photo. They post the worst ones in the lunchroom and vote every month. Mine would be up there for sure.

That actually sounds kind of fun, so if that is what is going on, good for the DMVers I guess

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

I had a wallet go missing. I'm fairly sure it's somewhere in the house. On the day it disapeared I went from the house to the car to work and it's not in either the car or work and I have a three year old who who has gotten into the habit of taking stuff and hiding it.

I got the debit card replaced & the old one cancelled and went to get a replacement for my license. I took two forms of ID and my birth certificate. At least, what has always been accepted as my birth certificate. Turns out it was a Record of Birth given to new parents which I found out after three hours of waiting. To get a copy of my birth certificate my wife will need to fill out a form, have it notarized, send it to the correct office two states away so they can mail my birth certificate to me. Then I have to go back to the DMV and wait for another three hours and hope that it's enough to finally get a replacement license. Meanwhile I'm searching the house as thoroughly as I can one room at a time.

Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004

The_Franz posted:

The US should just add a permanent address field on the back of the passport card and bingo: instant, federally issued, permanently remove the requirement for compliant ID for everyone.

:hai:

Tetramin
Apr 1, 2006

I'ma buck you up.

The Walrus posted:

You always hear about how the DMV is some kafkaesque dystopian nightmare where you are shuffled from line to line and form to form and place to place while you are denied and rebuffed based on some small technicality or the whims of the clerk.

I've never really understood this as a non american. What is so bad about the DMV? What makes it so horrible versus, say, a passport office? In my country you just go, find the form for whatever you need, and wait in line, takes maybe half an hour max usually. If you need to have your pic taken they do it right there. Could definitely be improved with a ticket queue system but what are you going to do?

They don't do driving tests in the same location as the licensing stuff, is that maybe the difference? Help me out with this one please.




edit: also since I couldn't decide to start a new thread about the DMV or Dave Chappelle, wow that new Dave Chappelle is some pretty powerful stuff huh really captivating.

the dmv is frustrating if you need to go to a bigger one because you just end up needing to wait for like 2 hours in a chair to get helped. it's not that bad though, around here they have it so you tell a clerk what you're there for, they give you a number that will assign a clerk who knows how to do it, then you sit in a chair contemplating suicide for a long rear end time.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
It’s probably racism. When certain family members of mine start bitching about the BMV (the Indiana DMV) it usually turns into a racially motivated tirade.

That having been said, nobody enjoys going there.

Derpies
Mar 11, 2014

by sebmojo
I'm at the DMV right now. You have to make appointments to go inside and man a bunch of angry Karen types at the door on that one

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Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Nigmaetcetera posted:

It’s probably racism. When certain family members of mine start bitching about the BMV (the Indiana DMV) it usually turns into a racially motivated tirade.

That having been said, nobody enjoys going there.

I lived in Indiana for a few years. Every time I hear "BMV," I just think, "BM... huh huh huh huh huh."

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