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When I look at all of you, I see myself. You might think "Wow, it's Doctor Dogballs, a living legend. I can't believe he would stoop to speak at my commencement. To spend time with the common folks, the scum of the earth, the nobodies." But that couldn't be farther from the truth. You see, when I was younger, I was just like you. I was breathing manually. I was blinking manually. I had a mind full of updawg and a heart full of bofa. But what nobody warned me about was that - also just like you - I had a shoelace untied. I had a little mustard on my shirt and I was always looking for who wrote "Gullible" on the ceiling. |
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Jun 14, 2020 04:03
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 12:18 |
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let me begin my commencement speech with a quote from the great doctor dogballsDoctor Dogballs posted:When I look at all of you, I see myself. You might think "Wow, it's Doctor Dogballs, a living legend. I can't believe he would stoop to speak at my commencement. To spend time with the common folks, the scum of the earth, the nobodies." But that couldn't be farther from the truth. You see, when I was younger, I was just like you. I was breathing manually. I was blinking manually. I had a mind full of updawg and a heart full of bofa. honestly that really covered it all. put on sunscreen i guess?
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Jun 14, 2020 05:00
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oh hey i was out back getting stoned how was the commencement speexh? |
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Jun 14, 2020 08:16
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Webster's Dictionary defines "commencement speech' asquote:When I look at all of you, I see myself. You might think "Wow, it's Doctor Dogballs, a living legend. I can't believe he would stoop to speak at my commencement. To spend time with the common folks, the scum of the earth, the nobodies." But that couldn't be farther from the truth. You see, when I was younger, I was just like you. I was breathing manually. I was blinking manually. I had a mind full of updawg and a heart full of bofa. |
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Jun 14, 2020 11:41
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psst hey who’s that guy crying down the row, I don’t remember him from any classes. that’s the janitor
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Jun 14, 2020 12:05
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"I would just like to congratulate you all for making it through all these years at this private school. Because I am the majority share holder. Tell your parents thank you."
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Jun 14, 2020 12:19
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Twenty Four posted:"I would just like to congratulate you all for making it through all these years at this private school. Because I am the majority share holder. Tell your parents thank you."
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Jun 14, 2020 22:03
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I like to begin every commencement speech by reassuring my listeners that I do not worship satan. I do this because it answers many questions that tend to arise about my commencement speech. -president m ginn
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Jun 14, 2020 22:13
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The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Commencement as an act, instance, or time of commencing e.g They awaited the commencement of the trial. In this speech I will prove to you that you are worthy of Commencement by a number of points laid out in sequence. My thesis is that you are worthy of commencement. My Null hypothesis is that you are not. At the end I plan to summarize or conclude my speech with statements that pull the whole thing together. Wikipedia asserts that the commencement speech takes place given to graduating students, generally at a university, generally in the United States, although as the flag at the back of the room is unfamilliar from me this is a point against you that I plan to consider in a later paragraph. |
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Jun 15, 2020 21:55
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commence . . . to ligma!! [audience member]: what's ligma? it's the hot new cryptocurrency, which I will now proceed to explain to you over the course of an hour
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Jun 16, 2020 00:42
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"Keep it real!" they said to me, on my way up here to the stage. "Tell them what they need to hear!" I heard them say, and I'm totally ok with that, because what I have to say will keep it real, and will most certainly be what you need to hear!" Crowd cheers and applauds. "I just wanted to know where the bathroom was, but I can see it from up here now, so... later!" **drops the mic because I always wanted to** |
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Jun 16, 2020 00:56
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Simple English Wikipedia defines a commencement speech as "Why bother? You'll never hear one anyway." Urban Dictionary's highest rated definition is just the word "gently caress" repeated 512 times. GameFAQs... |
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Jun 16, 2020 01:48
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Jaguars! posted:The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Commencement as an act, instance, or time of commencing e.g They awaited the commencement of the trial. In this speech I will prove to you that you are worthy of Commencement by a number of points laid out in sequence. My thesis is that you are worthy of commencement. My Null hypothesis is that you are not. At the end I plan to summarize or conclude my speech with statements that pull the whole thing together. Wikipedia asserts that the commencement speech takes place given to graduating students, generally at a university, generally in the United States, although as the flag at the back of the room is unfamilliar from me this is a point against you that I plan to consider in a later paragraph.
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Jun 16, 2020 03:01
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Errata: The flag is in fact the US flag |
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Jun 16, 2020 03:20
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 12:18 |
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everyone hurry up and please sit down. they told me I’d never get anywhere but look at me now rushing them stage to tell you this before the stronger kids take me away and the smarter kids tell you hey get yours hands off me hey quick everybody watch lost and tell me what you think it means add me on Facebook I love you thank you god and good night
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Jun 16, 2020 11:57
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