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I'm doing fine, OP, so it's just a localized problem. I'm sure you're glad to hear that.
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Jun 16, 2020 11:14
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Hmm, lol
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Jun 16, 2020 12:08
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Get to a washing machine, and slam your dick with the lid! The pain will distract you from your headache
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Jun 16, 2020 12:24
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YeahTubaMike posted:If you're having trouble masturbating and it's not because of an actual physical disability, you should probably just refrain from masturbating. Sometimes you just have to grudgefuck yourself to show who's in charge. Afterwards yell at your penis a lot for being such a failure.
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Jun 16, 2020 13:51
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Update: never got around to masturbating yesterday, but I'm feeling fine today so I'll probably bust one sometime this evening. Also what the gently caress, I can mark a page as unread partway through now? Is this the most significant advancement on the forums in the last 10 years?
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Jun 16, 2020 19:14
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Not an expert but I think you’re supposed to think about OTHER PEOPLE’S moms op
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Jun 16, 2020 19:21
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Cantaloupe posted:Update: never got around to masturbating yesterday, but I'm feeling fine today so I'll probably bust one sometime this evening. Sounds good, let us know how it goes, er, comes I guess.
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Jun 16, 2020 19:48
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Cantaloupe posted:Update: never got around to masturbating yesterday, but I'm feeling fine today so I'll probably bust one sometime this evening. Thanks for the update. Please describe the motions and intensity of your masturbation for us in great detail.
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Jun 16, 2020 20:46
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try jerking off with both hands on the mkb
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Jun 16, 2020 20:50
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Nurge posted:Sometimes you just have to grudgefuck yourself to show who's in charge. Afterwards yell at your penis a lot for being such a failure. Sometimes it helps to think about OTHERS yelling at your penis or vagina being a complete failure, I've found. Give that a whirl!!
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Jun 16, 2020 20:52
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:Thanks for the update. Please describe the motions and intensity of your masturbation for us in great detail. I'll be he's one of those slow sensual "i love you" masturbators
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Jun 16, 2020 21:08
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hamtaro posted:try jerking off with both hands on the mkb My Knife Boobs?
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Jun 16, 2020 21:09
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my knife boobs are keen and deadly
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Jun 16, 2020 21:13
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Hi, you can beat your dick too much and lose sensitivity take a break and do some drugs.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:22
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Big Beef City posted:*flips furiously through his copy of "So You Own A Penis"* Nurge posted:Sometimes you just have to grudgefuck yourself to show who's in charge. Afterwards yell at your penis a lot for being such a failure. Well, I don't have a penis, so my advice may have been flawed.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:28
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I tried to jack it today, oh boy About a lucky man who opened his rear end And though the rear end was rather wide Well, I just had to masturbate I saw the photograph
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Jun 16, 2020 21:44
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i'd love to turn me on
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Jun 16, 2020 21:45
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I'm on SSRIs so cranking it is an ordeal. Good luck with your broke dick OP.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:46
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YeahTubaMike posted:Well, I don't have a penis, so my advice may have been flawed. want one? heeeyooo
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Jun 16, 2020 21:55
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YeahTubaMike posted:Well, I don't have a penis, so my advice may have been flawed. You can yell at other genital types as well. Live the dream.
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Jun 16, 2020 22:28
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YeahTubaMike posted:Well, I don't have a penis, so my advice may have been flawed. Get outta here you charlatan
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Jun 16, 2020 23:12
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Cantaloupe posted:I've had a pretty bad head ache since 1:00, which has made it nearly impossible to maintain an erection. Hopefully it'll go away by this evening and I'll be able to crank one out before bedtime. Dude, I poo poo you not, They make things now that can jack you off in 2mins where you don't even have to be hard. No butt stuff. Although it could burn up on yo dick like a cheap vape pen battery lol.
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Jun 17, 2020 01:54
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Did OP flog the hog yet?
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Jun 17, 2020 01:56
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Did OP flog the hog yet? We should take him squatchin if he hasn't, gonna have a lot of pent up mountain thunder.
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Jun 17, 2020 02:02
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YeahTubaMike posted:Well, I don't have a penis, so my advice may have been flawed. Since when do you need a penis for loving yourself?
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Jun 17, 2020 02:49
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Derpies posted:We should take him squatchin if he hasn't, gonna have a lot of pent up mountain thunder. Nothin like a long hard night o’ squatchin to replenish a man’s ardor. That’s what my pappy always said an’ he was hornier than a squatch with two peters. I remember him and Drew’s ol’ man would come back from a weekend o’ squatchin and they’d both be walkin all funny on account o’ bein so riled up.
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Jun 17, 2020 02:57
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cranked out a pretty good one today. hope your fortunes change op.
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Jun 17, 2020 03:00
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A penis doing its best Jackie Chan impression, yelling "I- I don't want any trouble". Two rough customers approach on either side.
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Jun 17, 2020 03:25
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Muscle Wizard posted:cranked out a pretty good one today. Op shakes magic 8 balls. Out of flaxen liquid rises Outlook Not So Good
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Jun 17, 2020 03:29
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Nothin like a long hard night o’ squatchin to replenish a man’s ardor. That’s what my pappy always said an’ he was hornier than a squatch with two peters. I remember him and Drew’s ol’ man would come back from a weekend o’ squatchin and they’d both be walkin all funny on account o’ bein so riled up. Squatchin ain't for the weak. That's for sure. Gotta fully commit to walking like a hobgoblin for two, three days after a good weekend in the squatchin hills.
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Jun 17, 2020 03:33
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Lawrence Gilchrist posted:Op shakes magic 8 balls. Out of flaxen liquid rises Outlook Not So Good 
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Jun 17, 2020 03:37
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Fumble posted:Dude, I poo poo you not, They make things now that can jack you off in 2mins where you don't even have to be hard. No butt stuff. Although it could burn up on yo dick like a cheap vape pen battery lol. I think we need to reflect on this post for moment.
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Jun 17, 2020 03:40
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Here is man.
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Jun 17, 2020 03:41
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When given the risk of Chernobyl meltdown penis, still fuckin' anything.
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Jun 17, 2020 03:41
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if you're having trouble maintaining an erection I would recommend trying some cocaine, or if unavailable or too expensive, crystallized methamphetamines
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Jun 17, 2020 05:00
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Fumble posted:Dude, I poo poo you not, They make things now that can jack you off in 2mins where you don't even have to be hard. No butt stuff. Sounds like we're even closer to the world of A Boy and His Dog, then.
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Jun 17, 2020 06:21
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OP spice up your wank with vics vapo rub.
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Jun 17, 2020 06:50
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OP, I know that when I've had a headache and masturbated to orgasm I end up with a real THROBBER and I don't mean my erection, I mean the headache gets super bad (maybe due to the exercise raising blood pressure). So give your dick and your head a rest for a bit... but wait... you already came multiple times to our replies ITT, didn't you, you dirty bastard. And yeah, it takes one to know one. Edit: Oh glad you got over your headache, now gently caress off and flog your log already and spare us the loving details ffs. Edit2: Or gently caress one of your namesakes, "Canteloupe". BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 08:16 on Jun 17, 2020 |
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Jun 17, 2020 08:04
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op your dick is bad Hav a better dcik
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Jun 17, 2020 08:15
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imagine depleting your precious male essence by giving into your carnal urges, lmao the headaches are a sign of your awakening. embrace them
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Jun 17, 2020 09:44
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