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certainly i am the only one who is allowed to have sex with this mummy. i know everyone in the world wants to have sex with this mummy, but i am the only one who is allowed to do it. i am straddling the mummy now, and i feel the dry bones shifting beneath my weight as the skin cracks and tears apart. now, i will ruin this mummy with my vigorous pumping so that no one else can ever enjoy it |
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Jun 16, 2020 17:57
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i carefully record every context, soil cut and small find location on my chart before loving the oyster midden |
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Jun 16, 2020 18:03
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I dropped out of archeology school after my rock dusting prof failed me for holding the brush wrong. |
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Jun 16, 2020 18:03
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Post holes are fascinating evidence of how ancient peoples constructed their dwellings and communities. But y'ever hosed one? I have. |
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Jun 16, 2020 18:07
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ya'll need jesus (i found his remains)
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Jun 16, 2020 18:10
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Smokin' up all the ancient weed and planting them seeds hoping they're still viable
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 16, 2020 18:10
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this? uh, it's some kind of ritual object. probably of great religious significance (it is a dildo)
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Jun 16, 2020 18:15
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[pays ISIS to explode the dig site that contains evidence of ancient astronauts]
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Jun 16, 2020 18:16
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i dress like indiana jones, because i think it makes me look fun i also have sex with my students, like indiana jones ---------------- |
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Jun 16, 2020 18:22
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I put guardrails around things I think look funny or neat
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Jun 16, 2020 18:24
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*Writes a journal article describing the origins and development of metalworking in ancient Sumeria on my eyelids and blinks at u for peer review* |
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Jun 16, 2020 18:43
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archaeology tip: make sure you carry a tube of "flesh colored" paint with you, so that you can paint the skin of any pharaohs you find white
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Jun 16, 2020 19:43
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[denies the existence of Atlantis, even though the Nazis obviously found it and pilfered its technology] hurf durf
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Jun 16, 2020 19:46
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Claim to need grant funding for your paper on "ethnogens of the world" when really you're just going to trip absolute balls in the jungle with your archeologist pals.
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Jun 16, 2020 20:01
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I’m kind of like a modern day pirate arrrrr please unhand me officer
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Jun 16, 2020 20:06
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When word gets out, they're gonna bury me. I don't know how much longer I can keep my head in the sand. I tell you, this life is the pits! I don't know how I managed to dig my own grave, but this site is not working out. I'm old but certainly not, not--a fossil--like they say. If only I'd brushed up on my hieroglyphics I could have avoided that sexy snake dungeon. Scorpions? Yeah, right! They think I'm a joke, but when they see me mummyride my whip, their fedoras are going to implode.
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Jun 16, 2020 20:21
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Other archaeologist: So, have you found any artifacts at your dig site? Me: You'd better believe...wait, did you say artiFACTS? OA: Uh, yeah. Me: Like with an "a" sound? That's what they're called? OA: Yes...? Me: (quickly grabbing a bucket and sponge) I just realized I, uh, forgot to do something. |
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Jun 16, 2020 20:34
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I don't know what to say, I can't really explain it, but ancient fertility idols just get me so loving hard. |
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Jun 16, 2020 20:40
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sometimes I rummage through ball pits for children and pretend they're bones, just so I can get that rush
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Jun 16, 2020 20:49
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FutonForensic posted:sometimes I rummage through ball pits for children and pretend they're bones, just so I can get that rush
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Jun 16, 2020 20:53
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What do you mean dinosaur dicks wouldn't fossilise? A whole career dedicated to finding a Dinosaur dong... 
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Jun 16, 2020 21:15
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google THIS posted:Other archaeologist: So, have you found any artifacts at your dig site?
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Jun 16, 2020 21:50
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Baldrick: "So this is conclusive evidence of a previously undiscovered Iron Age settlement?" Phil: "I dunno. Maybe?" Scarf Guy: "Let's go to the pub!" All: "Hooray!" |
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Jun 16, 2020 22:07
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this temple sucks, i've been jamming this giant glowing gem into the eye socket of the cyclops statue for like an hour and the boss fight won't start
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Jun 16, 2020 22:11
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Stooge posted:What do you mean dinosaur dicks wouldn't fossilise? The expository "Mr. DNA" cartoon from Jurassic Park, except instead of mosquitos it's perfectly preserved dongs from dinosaurs who tried to gently caress tree sap. |
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Jun 16, 2020 22:21
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Me (my old rear end stuck at the bottom of another loving pit trap): I BELONG IN A MUSEUM!!!
Pot Smoke Phoenix fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Jun 16, 2020 |
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Jun 16, 2020 22:31
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Me: At last! We have solved the secret of the Chamber of Ultimate Booty! Let us gather up the treasure and head back! Guide: FOR THE LAST TIME IT'S JUST AN ESCAPE ROOM!!! AND YOU TOOK LONGER THAN ANYONE ELSE, EVER! |
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Jun 16, 2020 22:33
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Geophys is essentially reading tea leaves |
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Jun 16, 2020 22:34
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google THIS posted:The expository "Mr. DNA" cartoon from Jurassic Park, except instead of mosquitos it's perfectly preserved dongs from dinosaurs who tried to gently caress tree sap. Whoops, Chuck Tingle just filed a C&D against me for this post |
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Jun 16, 2020 22:35
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google THIS posted:Whoops, Chuck Tingle just filed a C&D against me for this post POUNDING my PLAGIARIZER in the METAPHORICAL BUTT, LEGALLY SPEAKING
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Jun 16, 2020 22:36
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ghost of the ancient priest-king [gesturing toward an elaborate series of mirrors]: well done on making it through my tomb of traps; but can you pass this final trial? me: [turning on my iphone flashlight and shining it over the cradle that holds the Ruby of Immortality] "mmehn mmoo mmmaah mmee mmaammoo maaaoo?" this loving guy. ---------------- |
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Jun 16, 2020 23:02
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Bonaventure posted:ghost of the ancient priest-king [gesturing toward an elaborate series of mirrors]: lmfbo
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Jun 17, 2020 00:27
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an archaeologist digging up byob would find weed |
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Jun 24, 2020 22:47
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oh no my theodolite is broken
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Jun 26, 2020 03:38
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oh, here, take mine you silly goose |
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Jun 26, 2020 05:30
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*rummaging in steamer chest* "let's see, I've got a Leica TS10 3", a Wild T3 0.5", a Troughton and Sims 20", a BBS 14" and a bad dragon 7", I'd prefer it if you took the Leica" |
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Jun 26, 2020 05:42
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*laughing my rear end off at anyone who spent years in grad school for archeology and took out multiple student loans they can't pay off, meanwhile I just went to the hardware store and bought a shovel*
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Jun 26, 2020 07:06
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Twenty Four posted:*laughing my rear end off at anyone who spent years in grad school for archeology and took out multiple student loans they can't pay off, meanwhile I just went to the hardware store and bought a shovel* 'scuse me sir, you got a licence for that there shovel?
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Jun 26, 2020 07:33
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"Um guys......*backs away from the hole slowly* ...I think you need to see this" *lights go out, inhuman howling, screams, then silence*
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Jun 26, 2020 14:53
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 09:56 |
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Friend A: OMG! I discovered something! This might be the discovery of the century! The millenia, even! Friend B: That's nice. Friend A: I'm clearing away the debris; it's coming into focus- I can see it! OMG I can't believe it! Friend B: Dude, you're high, we're at the beach, and that's your loving foot you just unburied in the sand. Again. Now shut the gently caress up and gimmee a beer... |
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Jun 26, 2020 14:58
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