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Literally A Person posted:When I was coming up with fake names and I stumbled on Biffident I was really pleased with myself. listen i think you're swell but this is an obvious lie and honestly it hurts me to see you doing this to yourself
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Jun 22, 2020 20:36
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:16 |
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Fleshlight_car_exhaust.gif
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Jun 22, 2020 20:37
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Bronze Fonz posted:You just gave me a terrible idea. I was about to launch photoshop but google says it's aleady a thing: lmao I misunderstood what you had written 
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Jun 22, 2020 20:37
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Imagine waking up hungover with this thing in your bed calling you senpai.
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Jun 22, 2020 20:38
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Literally A Person posted:
Oh, in that case, OP, I'm afraid you're going to have to have sex with your nephew. Sorry, but them's the rules. 
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Jun 22, 2020 20:48
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Literally A Person posted:Imagine waking up hungover with this thing in your bed calling you senpai. I've had this as the title of my Grindr listing for years and NOTHING
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Jun 22, 2020 20:52
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Plot Twist: your nephew is a figment of your imagination. So am I, for that matter. You never left the hospital, YOU’RE STILL THERE!
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Jun 22, 2020 20:53
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Literally A Person posted:Imagine waking up hungover with this thing in your bed calling you senpai. This is my rifle, it is a gun! This is for fighting, and also for fun!
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Jun 22, 2020 21:06
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Professor Shark posted:Plot Twist: your nephew is a figment of your imagination. So am I, for that matter. You never left the hospital, YOU’RE STILL THERE! Great, and now I'm the loving protagonist in a Roald Dahl short story. Just loving great. <  >
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Jun 22, 2020 22:09
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Post the purchase history.
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Jun 22, 2020 22:16
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Xaintrailles posted:Post the purchase history. No purchases as yet, but here is the first scroll from the recently viewed:  Looks slightly nicer than last night.
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Jun 22, 2020 22:30
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Literally A Person posted:No purchases as yet, but here is the first scroll from the recently viewed: "Let your penis flying! Almost gone!" ... is that some kind of tool for ripping your own dick off?
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Jun 22, 2020 22:47
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What even is that thing in a bottom left. A free standing fondle-able torso?
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Jun 22, 2020 22:51
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Chomp8645 posted:What even is that thing in a bottom left. A free standing fondle-able torso? More importantly, why is it baby-sized, but with huge breasts?
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Jun 22, 2020 23:47
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Literally A Person posted:
yeah uh, I’d try to get ahead of whatever is going on there because you’re like “lol my minor nephew is looking at a gun well known for spree shootings and accidentally used my email haha” but that should be huge glaring alarm klaxons going off
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Jun 22, 2020 23:55
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food court bailiff posted:yeah uh, I’d try to get ahead of whatever is going on there because you’re like “lol my minor nephew is looking at a gun well known for spree shootings and accidentally used my email haha” but that should be huge glaring alarm klaxons going off I mean, he lives in the south with a dad in the military. Though it seems cray cray to me I was under the impression that this is a totally normal in-the-south thing???
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Jun 22, 2020 23:59
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Some Florida loser with my name was using my email address. He stopped after I started calling pizza places he confirmed and changing the order. "Sorry, I'm not good at computers, no sauce, no cheese, just all red onions."
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Jun 23, 2020 00:02
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:Some Florida loser with my name was using my email address. He stopped after I started calling pizza places he confirmed and changing the order. If this is true you are my new hero.
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Jun 23, 2020 00:03
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So how many dildos did you order op
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Jun 23, 2020 00:57
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ShortyMR.CAT posted:So how many dildos did you order op 5
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Jun 23, 2020 01:24
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 Niccce
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Jun 23, 2020 01:38
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Literally A Person posted:No purchases as yet, but here is the first scroll from the recently viewed: All that airsoft garbage is way more embarrassing than the weird jerkoff aids. "How much Chinese plastic can I get for $40?" Also, seconding the questioning of the "Send your penis flying" product.
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Jun 23, 2020 02:37
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Dr. Gojo Shioji posted:All that airsoft garbage is way more embarrassing than the weird jerkoff aids. "How much Chinese plastic can I get for $40?" Oh. Really?
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Jun 23, 2020 02:42
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So they've been signing up to pages using your address to look at sex toys and gun mods? You should probably say something to him privately like "My birthday isn't for a few months."
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Jun 23, 2020 03:12
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TheMostFrench posted:So they've been signing up to pages using your address to look at sex toys and gun mods? You should probably say something to him privately like "My birthday isn't for a few months." Yeah. Also his tumblr but I really REALLY don't want to look at that. This is all in good fun but I really don't care to find out what's behind door number two.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:14
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sorry uncle person i promise i wont do it again pls don't tell mom
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Jun 23, 2020 03:17
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Literally A Person posted:Yeah. Also his tumblr but I really REALLY don't want to look at that. This is all in good fun but I really don't care to find out what's behind door number two. prudent. there's no way intervening would change anything anyway. let the boy plumb the depths. shaming him will only warp him further.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:18
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Literally A Person posted:No purchases as yet, but here is the first scroll from the recently viewed: I thought the mask was a strapon with a built in butt plug and go pro for a second and am sorely disappointed in your nephew it's not. Plastic torsos are pretty milquetoast, he needs to develop his taste in marital aids. Perhaps some friendly guidance from his cool uncle? You could get your brother to talk to him.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:23
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Weka posted:I thought the mask was a strapon with a built in butt plug and go pro for a second and am sorely disappointed in your nephew it's not. Plastic torsos are pretty milquetoast, he needs to develop his taste in marital aids. Perhaps some friendly guidance from his cool uncle? You could get your brother to talk to him. This...uh...well....no.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:26
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I have a friend back east that will NOT stop signing up my email for every promotional thing at a bar, so I just get all these stupid alcohol related promotional poo poo. I've won several 'party nights" for bars in Boston that I have no way to redeem. The fleshlight poo poo I wouldn't bring up with him, but maybe mention the AR-15 thing to his dad. Seems like something they might want to know about their kid doing, just to make sure it's not related to some sort of extremism or some poo poo.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:38
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Literally A Person posted:Oh. Even worse, they are "gel ball shooters" hence the "water bomb" accessory in one of the pictures. Think dollar store knockoffs of airsoft guns. Despite what other posters suggested your nephew isn't looking to pleasure himself while he goes on a murdering spree.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:46
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Cyks posted:Even worse, they are "gel ball shooters" hence the "water bomb" accessory in one of the pictures. Think dollar store knockoffs of airsoft guns. That's actually awesome. In that it's relieving. Now this thread feels a little less gloomy.
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Jun 23, 2020 03:49
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Biohazard posted:I have a friend back east that will NOT stop signing up my email for every promotional thing at a bar, so I just get all these stupid alcohol related promotional poo poo. I've won several 'party nights" for bars in Boston that I have no way to redeem. I used to do this all the time with one of my college friends email. I think pretty much every dentist in Southern California has his email and phone number and knows that his teeth are all hosed up from eating too much rear end without brushing them after
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Jun 23, 2020 04:49
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Those fake guns look like something the cops might shoot a kid for waving about in public. Then it would be the ultimate parental embarassment if the corpse was found to have some sex toy stuffed down its pants.
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Jun 23, 2020 07:22
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Literally A Person posted:This...uh...well....no. You'll have to do it yourself then. Perhaps you could teach him to carve his own masturbatory devices.
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Jun 23, 2020 07:29
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Weka posted:You'll have to do it yourself then. Perhaps you could teach him to carve his own masturbatory devices. Carving it is the easy part. It's the sanding and finishing that really gets ya.
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Jun 23, 2020 15:25
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RepeatingMeme posted:sorry uncle person i promise i wont do it again pls don't tell mom Kid's drat lucky his uncle's a goon and not someone who'd go directly to the parents about this.
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Jun 23, 2020 16:14
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Literally A Person posted:Carving it is the easy part. It's the sanding and finishing that really gets ya. Gonna want a nice chamfer on that opening.
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Jun 23, 2020 16:20
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super sweet best pal posted:Kid's drat lucky his uncle's a goon and not someone who'd go directly to the parents about this. "Little Joey," says Literally a Person, literally taking the young man overly gruffly by the shoulders and for far too long, "Literally going to your mother was the... well...Let's just say there's a reason they don't call me "Literally your Uncle". You're my dumb gay son!"
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Jun 23, 2020 16:52
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Big Beef City posted:"Little Joey," says Literally a Person, literally taking the young man overly gruffly by the shoulders and for far too long, "Literally going to your mother was the... well...Let's just say there's a reason they don't call me "Literally your Uncle". You're my dumb gay son!" Why are you not writing soaps for a living???
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Jun 23, 2020 16:55
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