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Krudcake
Feb 9, 2019


Does anyone else have an issue with the pesky keyboard cockroaches? Im certainly not going to buy a new keyboard, and the roach bait ain't killing them... I would put the keyboard in the freezer to kill them, but I don't have a working refrigerator at the house i move into 2 weeks ago... Don't tell me to pull all the keys up and vacuum, thats just nonsense. Can I get some good ideas here to help me out? I cant dunk the drat thing in a tub of water, it will break. IM short on ideas. Help me please.

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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.


How is having free self reproducing snacks a problem OP.

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

How is having free self reproducing snacks a problem OP.

is this the cockroach lifehack thread? if you have a tickle at the back of your throat and cant cough hard enough to get it just breath in some roach wings and you'll be all cleared out in no time at all. I know this from personal experience it's ok roach wings are sterile

Krudcake
Feb 9, 2019


Just to be clear, these are the tiny german cockroaches... Not big enough for a real snack and too small to really care about.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

In a world gone mad,
we will not spank the monkey,
but the monkey will spank us.

You'd better hire an exterminator. Before it's too late.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pRgXDZghPj8

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007


have you tried just talking to them

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

use some Keyboard Goop OP

Virigoth
Apr 28, 2009

Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......




Turn on your Keyboard LEDs so they can party

1redflag
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Joeís Keyboard

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


Seal it up with cum and let it crust over. That way they canít find the bits of pizza rolls and kfc Nashville hot chicken.

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy

You can pour rubbing alcohol on your keyboard and just let it dry overnight. It's non-conductive and won't damage the electronics

Krudcake
Feb 9, 2019


The LED's are already on, that's how I see them moving.. Maybe I can just turn the lights off and pretend they are not there.

This is supposed to be a forum full of smarts, where is the smarts when I need em? II thought maybe a low and slow bake in the oven... Anyone know what temperature keyboard plastic melts at?

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

turn it upside down and shake it OP

Virigoth
Apr 28, 2009

Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......




I thought the rubbing alcohol idea was legit

Hardon Crime
Jan 15, 2020

hubba hubba


Jesustheastronaut! posted:

You can pour rubbing alcohol on your keyboard and just let it dry overnight. It's non-conductive and won't damage the electronics

this, but use a bag so the cockroaches dont just jump ship

e: also use 90% alcohol

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




Hardon Crime posted:

this, but use a bag so the cockroaches dont just jump ship

e: also use 90% alcohol

lmao at a keyboard being a roach ship. where are they going. I love it ty for this mental image hardon crime

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006


Statistically you'd think that I'd sometimes fluke into typing a decent post. Nah. Only the most tedious, shitty posts, all day every day baby!

Don't bother engaging me, I don't ever get the hints to fuck off.




Ian Miles Cheong spotted

EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007


lure them out of there with trails of your semen which they have become quite accustomed to being their main source of food.

Gnarly Sheen
Jun 25, 2015

I'm ITT


BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

is this the cockroach lifehack thread? if you have a tickle at the back of your throat and cant cough hard enough to get it just breath in some roach wings and you'll be all cleared out in no time at all. I know this from personal experience it's ok roach wings are sterile

cockroach lifehack threads are all fun and games until someone whips out the medieval humor balancing suggestions

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.

At least you didnít clean the gunk out of it, cum on it, then rub it in your teeth and post pics of it all.

Tbh thatís what I fully expected when I clicked this then was pleasantly surprised when it wasnít

Bad Titty Puker
Nov 3, 2007

!!

Soiled Meat

Krudcake posted:

Just to be clear, these are the tiny german cockroaches... Not big enough for a real snack and too small to really care about.

quote:

You'd better hire an exterminator. Before it's too late.

srsly

find the poo, the dead giveaway is the poo
for every one you see there are 500-1000 more than you don't
oh yeah, and the egg sacs
they can squeeze themselves paper thin
they can survive for months w/o food
they lay eggs in kitchen appliances, microwave ovens, cardboard boxes, etc
if you live in an apartment then happy fun to you
nip it in the bud or you'll have them for years
oh yeah if you have an infrared camera set it up where you've seen them

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.

I have roaches and itís great for weight loss I havenít gone into my kitchen for a snack after sunset in years

Reality Protester
Aug 10, 2016


she tried to warn us



didnt scrape cockroaches off keyboard, ejaculate on to them, then smear on bearded face, voted 1

The_Continental
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


sprinkle Diatomaceous Earth all over your keyboard, the fine powder will act as a dessicant. Also, call an exterminator they aren't just in your disgusting keyboard.

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 5 hours!


Muldoon

pour vodka on the keyboard

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !


Plaster Town Cop

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




the first time I saw a cockroach and it didnt have a big hog I got so confused. surely I'd misheard the name or something but nope cockroaches dont even have penises it turns out. check please!

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

your keyboard is now technically a cyborg.

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

the first time I saw a cockroach and it didnt have a big hog I got so confused. surely I'd misheard the name or something but nope cockroaches dont even have penises it turns out. check please!

A cockroach is the bit left over when you are done smoking a cock.

longtimelurker
Mar 12, 2006

Powered by alcohol



College Slice

Place keyboard in oven, and then set oven to the CLEAN setting.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011



German roaches are worse than regular. I sprayed some once and they ripped their skin off and ran away.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



They really hate dubstep so just play some Skrillex or something

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




Motherfucker posted:

German roaches are worse than regular. I sprayed some once and they ripped their skin off and ran away.

I dont understand why you.have to specifically mention that they are German cockroach es. Are all cockroaches not the same

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

I dont understand why you.have to specifically mention that they are German cockroach es. Are all cockroaches not the same

no. some of them are huge and fly. it is very disturbing.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011



BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

I dont understand why you.have to specifically mention that they are German cockroach es. Are all cockroaches not the same

wtf this is completely invalidating, German roaches are a completely different subspecies and its erasure to pretend its just a cultural difference. You're so going to be cancelled when I get on Skitter. You'll think twice next time you try bugging me on the web!!

Katamari Democracy
Jan 18, 2010

Oh, We understand.
A trip to collect a million votes, yes.
Oh, we know why.
We get the point of rolling up a million


Doctor Rope

Clean your loving room

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BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




Motherfucker posted:

wtf this is completely invalidating, German roaches are a completely different subspecies and its erasure to pretend its just a cultural difference. You're so going to be cancelled when I get on Skitter. You'll think twice next time you try bugging me on the web!!

I'm new to bugs, this ones on me ok I hosed up. here's a velvet ant

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