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You are Eowyn, Lady of Ithilien. You are reading a history book on the balcony of your home in Emyn Arnen, overlooking the river Anduin, with Minas Tirith in the distance, waiting for your husband Faramir to return from battle at Cair Andros; you stayed behind to watch your son Elboron, a lad of ten. You see Chad Bradford sail by, and wave to him, then return your attention to the book, a history of the first age, the tale of the Silmarils, jewels that held the light of the Two Trees. One turned into a star, another lost in a fiery chasm, and another thrown into the Sea, neither of those two ever having been found. A feeling takes you: you were a shield maiden once, and killed the Witch King; why shouldn't you try to find these gems? You are tired of relaxing here in leisure. You break open your old wooden chest and don your old armor, shield, helm and sword, and order your horse to be saddled. Your son approaches you in the yard and asks where you are going and why you bear armor. You say you are going to visit family in Rohan. He asks to come with you, to see Uncle Eomer. You begin in Emyn Arnen. >Deny him flatly >Make up an excuse >Just ride off >Bring him along for a time >Do something else big map https://www.bl.uk/collection-items/map-of-the-middle-earth >_
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Jul 2, 2020 04:01
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 20:06 |
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drat dude, i thought eoywms and farmir married for love
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Jul 2, 2020 05:13
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in my defense i am prety drunk ------------- "I will be gone for a while," you tell Elboron, "and you must be the Prince until your father comes back." He plainly hates this but nods. You leave a note with your handmaid explaining where you have gone, then ride north. After several days you cross the bridge at Osgiliath, ride the Pelannor, pass the city and cross the Entwash into Rohan. You encounter a large group of Ents walking south, and ask them for news, and water. "We are going to Harondor to join the Entwives," one says, as you drink. The one called Quickbeam offers you a pipe and some weed. "Have you heard of the Silmarils?" you ask. The Ents look at each other and shrug. "Nope." Inventory: armor, helm, sword, shield, pipe, weed You can go any direction >_
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Jul 2, 2020 06:01
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Colonel Cancer posted:Why not trade in a horse for a doggo i guess you could if you find a dog edit: that someone is willing to trade for a horse
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 08:11 on Jul 2, 2020 |
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Jul 2, 2020 07:54
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ok i'm going to need some clarification about directions becase i havnt play a game like this since i was a kid. does up mean north or does it mean actualy try to go upwards into the air sorry im drunk
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Jul 2, 2020 08:59
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naem posted:>cast ENLARGE SMEAGOL he's dead although i forgot that for a moment
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Jul 3, 2020 00:23
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Weka posted:>GO UP. gary oldmans diary posted:>smoke weed The Cubelodyte posted:Go uttermost west I'm going to combine all these. -------------------- You toke heavily and continue on your way, giggling to yourself. Luckily your horse knows how to follow the road. Finally you cross Rohan and reach the fords of Isen, where there is a small village with a tavern. You tie your horse outside and go in. Besides the barmaids and barkeep, there are a few dwarves and burly Rohirrim. "Sup, dicks," you announce. >_
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Jul 3, 2020 00:55
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No one recognizes you due to your helm. You walk to the nearest table and demand a drinking contest, sitting down on a stool and whipping out your pipe to pack a bowl. The dwarves look at you and each other. "Who might you be?" says one. "The one who is going to beat your bitch asses," you say. "Buy me ale." "You have coin to pay for it?" says one dwarf with a red beard. You draw your sword and slam it on the table. "There's your coin. Ale, fucker. You'll all be under the table in an hour. If not, you can keep the blade." 55 minutes later everyone in the tavern has gathered around to watch. Your sword glistens with haphazardly spilled ale and wine. Four of the five dwarves are passed out, with only redbeard remaining, and a couple of Rohirrim are on the floor as well. The barkeep gives each of you another tankard. ------------- Flip a coin. If no one does, I'll have a mod do it.
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Jul 3, 2020 03:13
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GCM provided the flip. You awake in a straw bed with the red-bearded dwarf, naked but for your helm and sword in hand. You stumble out into the common room, dragging the blade along the floor, and demand water from the barmaid working the bar, stares shocked at you. "Are you loving deaf?" you ask, "water, now. And wine." As she sets about filling some cups, you note that everyone else, including the barkeep, is still passed out. It is barely dawn. You blaze up. Some villagers enter but run away when they see you. The red-bearded dwarf stumbles naked out of the room and vomits on the plank floor. You down a gulp of wine and water, then dress yourself and prepare to leave. The proprietor wakes up and demands payment as you step over him. The dwarf tosses some coins onto the barkeep's chest, then hikes up his trousers and follows you out the door. "Wait!" he grunts, "I though we had somethin speshul. We could travel together." "Where are you going?" you ask. "The Blue Mountains," he says, "I have family there." >_
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Jul 3, 2020 07:42
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You smack the dwarf in the head with the flat of your sword, knocking him out. You lean to the side and let one rip in your saddle, then ride out of the village to the west. The Enedwaith lies before you, a vast wilderness stretching to the sea, according to your map. The Greenway Road goes north all the way to Arnor, passing Dunland. To the south are the White Mountains, the border of western Gondor. edit: I guess it is possible for humans and dwarves to have kids, if elves and humans can, but it would be a while, presumably...we can address that later. >_
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Jul 4, 2020 00:51
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Bogus Adventure posted:>Write song about potatoes and sell it to the next hobbit you meet Arcsquad12 posted:Mutter to yourself: i'll try to work with this might take awhile
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Jul 4, 2020 01:54
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Outside the village, you stop to let your horse graze while you toke up. Struck by a sudden bout of creativity, you produce some parchment and a quill. Yeah, potatoes (x5) You can boil them You can...fry them!!! You can stick them IN A STEW Potatoes like salt Potatoes like bacon Stick them in your rear end Where can I run How can I hide the silmarils? Gems of treelight Their life belongs to me Oh it's sweet how the Darkness is floating around With Potatoes from the ground Potatoes like salt Potatoes like bacon Stick them in your rear end [INSTRUMENTAL SUPER BRUTAL AND DIRTY TO CLOSE IT OUT FOR LIKE, TEN MINUTES] You roll up the parchment and tuck it away, then mount up again. >_
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Jul 4, 2020 02:38
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Daikloktos posted:All the plot's probably up north. In fact I forgot what the hell we're even trying to do we'll go with this then ----------------------- You ride north up the Greenway at a casual pace. The new-made road is flanked by rocky hills and trees. In the evening you make camp beneath a tree by the road and blaze. Your weed supply is running low. Then four hill-men on scrawny horses riding south pass by and see your fire. Seeing that you are alone, they approach. The biggest one grabs the reins of your horse. "We'll be taking this, and your sword too. If you don't make a fuss, we'll let you live." >_
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Jul 4, 2020 05:20
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naem posted:>SEDUCE horse  super sweet best pal posted:Think intently about Gloin's groin. i dont think you know any gloisns
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Jul 4, 2020 06:06
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As you sit still and regard the hillmen, they regard you too, in a rather less gentle manner. You silently pray to the great beornings, the forebears of Eorl, for strength. You grow two inches taller; when you stand up, you can look down on the big leader. In one swift motion you draw your sword from the scabbard on your left hip and slice him open from groin to chin. His guts spill out like grey eels and blood sprays from his neck in a fan, coating your face. You laugh and lick the blood from your lips. Another Dunlanding grabs for his sword, but you lazily swipe his hand off and hurl him from his horse while grabbing his sword, which you fling through the chest of the third one. Your horse rears and kicks in the head of the fourth; his own horse freaks out and bears him away with his foot caught in the stirrup. The man with the severed hand roars curses and reaches for his dagger, but you crush his face over and over with your shield until he stops moving. The three remaining malnourished horses stand by, quite unconcerned at the deaths of their owners. You search through the saddle-bags, and the bodies of the dead, retrieving two daggers, some weed of poor quality, some bread, three swords, and a throwing spear. These you either tuck into your belt or sling on your saddle. You can go any direction. >_ Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Jul 4, 2020 |
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Jul 4, 2020 06:55
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You continue north along the road after setting the three hillman-horses free in the morning. You stop to rest and eat some bread, when your horse suddenly rears in fright, nearly throwing you. There is a large group of gnomes gathered in the road, one of whom steps forward, with a tiny bow notched. "None can pass through our lands, she-bitch!" it shouts. "Who are you?" you ask. "Thulsa Doom," it says, "Chief of the Dunland Gnomes. Pay tribute or die!" "Do you know anything about the Silmarils?" "Who are they? Some elves? We haven't seen them in ages. Now pay tribute!" "Nah," you say as you eat an edible, "I'll just be on my way. Have a good one." "Trespasser!!" Doom howls, and looses a tiny arrow at your face, which pricks your cheek. "OW! That hurt, fuckshit," you shout as you draw your dagger. All the gnomes start shooting darts at you. You dismount and chase them like rats. You stalk Doom around a tree, then skewer his leg to the ground. "AIIIEEEEE" he screams. You pick him up and slowly saw his head off, then toss his corpse aside, even as you begin to feel very drowsy. "drat," you giggle to yourself, "this place is wild, hey horse, look at all these little dudes...." The horse sprouts wings and her eyes glow a vibrant blue. She opens her mouth but the only sound that comes from it is the chirping of birds. >_
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Jul 4, 2020 09:13
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You wake up under the tree with your horse eating grass nearby. There are many stomped gnomes all around. It seems like it should be morning, but the sky is dark, with a drizzle falling. With some difficulty you light a bowl and blaze despite the rain. You stick the pipe in the horse's mouth. "You've defended me well," you say, "from now on I will call you Andfenga. Breathe deep." You both take turns making smoke-ships and blowing them through each-others smoke rings. The horse nods and tokes. Not knowing what time it is, you mount and continue on the road. The rain pelts you relentlessly, and the land is only briefly illuminated by flashes of lightning, showing towering pine trees on either side of the cobbled road. You meet a few men traveling the opposite way, who tell you of a great victory in Harad. You try to toke with them in celebration but your pipe is too wet. Miserably you plod on. Finally after what seems like a day and another, the lightning illuminates huge broken towers, walls, and a half-smashed bridge over the swollen river. You throw your cloak over your map to protect it from the rain, and deem it to be the ruins of Tharbad, at the river Gwathlo, the border between Enedwaith and the restored kingdom of Arnor. There are many rebuilt houses, barns, and other buildings, some with lights in the windows. You go to the first house you see and ask for shelter when a man and woman open the door. >_
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Jul 4, 2020 13:09
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naem posted:it’s like when hipsters pay thousands for age warped barn wood for their open floor plan hipster den lmao
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Jul 4, 2020 22:40
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i know i have sold old oak planks to hipsters from Cincy when i was repairing myh workshop it hilarious
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Jul 5, 2020 00:24
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Cry Havoc posted:> ask silmarillion I flipd a coind. the man and woman give you a good feelging ----------------- you tie up Andfenga in a shed nearby and share a supper with the couple. When you remove your helm to drain the water from your hair, they recognize you, and reveal themselves to be the father and mother of Grima Wormtongue. "We were so ashamed of what our son became," says the woman, "we fled from Rohan to hide here. Please do not tell your brother. A mob might kill us or burn us out." "Have you ever heard of the Silmarils? They are jewels of great value," you ask, as you tear a loaf of bread. The man and woman share a cautious look, and poke their food around. You blaze up and share the pipe around. "Southfarthing," the woman exhales. "I have heard of Silmarils, come to think of it, but I thought they were elves. But an odd little man said different, back when I was a maid in Eriador." "A wizard came by once," the man says, "for shelter, same as you. He gave me a moth-eaten history. The wife taught me how to read it. Most of the pages was lost or torn, but the one about them jewels said they never got back to the west, those magic lands across the sea, and one was in the sky." You all pass out in the common room. >_
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Jul 5, 2020 07:38
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You again call upon the power of the Beornings. Grima Wormtongue's bones grow a few inches longer and thicker in his grave in the Shire. >_
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Jul 5, 2020 22:41
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Inventory: helm, armor, clothes, shield, sword, weed, pipe, map, song parchment, quill, horse You wake up in the middle of the night and stumble over the sleeping woman and man, and rummage through their cupboards until you find some wine. You pull the cork out with your teeth and guzzle the contents, then kick them awake and give the rest to them. Utter carnal lust is unleashed. Hours later, you tie your belt and see that the rain has stopped. The couple gives you some waybread and a skin of wine. >_
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Jul 6, 2020 05:40
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poo poo i forgotr you got an assload of loot from ths dead dudes Inventory: helm, armor, clothes, shield, sword, weed, pipe, map, song parchment, quill, horse, two daggers, three swords besides your own, throwing spear
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Jul 6, 2020 08:12
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i finally found and edirw shir im pissed a decent map of where youa are
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Jul 6, 2020 09:56
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I used a dice roller app to decide. it came up East. ----------------- You slowly walk your horse across the broken bridge and turn east to walk along the north bank of the Greyflood. It is still dark. >_
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Jul 8, 2020 03:38
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naem posted:>EQUIP all You trade some wine for some horse armor Cry Havoc posted:> visit Riverdale You head northeast along the river, as the sun rises, making for Rivendell. You come across a baggage train coming the other way, many donkeys and mules laden with goods, led by a huge spider and some hobbits, with a huge drake circling overhead, making your horse nervous. The bearded hobbit, who seems to be in charge, asks you if you would like to buy anything. You note that some of the guards fan out around you, but stay back. >_
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Jul 8, 2020 06:54
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"Are you a hobbit or a dwarf?" you ask "I," he says proudly, "am of Stoor stock. Not fancy and blond like those hairless bitches up in Hobbiton." You whip out your parchment. "Do you like stories?" "All hobbits like stories," he says warily. "I will sell you this song. It will go to the top of the charts, guaranteed. You'll make bank." He takes the roll and examines it. After a few minutes, he offers 50 coins for it. >_
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Jul 8, 2020 07:17
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You take the 50 coins and hand over the song to the hobbit, then look over at the spider. You give it an alluring gaze and ask if it would like to duck away into the woods. "No," it says. "A while back, maybe I would have, but I'm with the drake now. I will buy those three swords from you, though. 100 coins? I could use them much better than you could," she says as she waves her legs around. >_
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Jul 9, 2020 01:35
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You dismount and set your armor and weapons against a nearby tree. You tie up your horse as the convoy handlers watch. You stretch expansively until your breasts burst through your surcoat. "Lissen fuckers, I'll take everything you have and you'll like it." The drake crashes into a cliff face as it is not looking where it is flying. -------- That evening you don your armor, mount up, and lead the dozen donkeys and mules laden with wine, weed, and spices leashed to your saddle as you head along the river. Inventory: helm, armor, clothes, shield, sword, weed, pipe, map, quill, horse, two daggers, 50 gallons of wine, 60 lbs of weed, 40 lbs of spices, 6 donkeys, 6 mules, throwing spear, 50 coins >_
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Jul 9, 2020 |
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Jul 9, 2020 03:34
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Through the night you ride, towing the caravan behind you. The night, a day, and another night passes, and you are swaying in your saddle. Your horse's head is drooping and the the pack animals are growing truculent. You check your map; you are at the branches of the rivers Hoarwell and Loudwater. The former leads north, the latter toward Rivendell. The weather is cool and pleasant. A group of about a dozen men, women, dwarves and elves suddenly emerges from the trees. An elf looses an arrow at you, which takes your horse in the flank, making it buck and rear. Inventory: helm, armor, clothes, shield, sword, weed, pipe, map, quill, horse, two daggers, 50 gallons of wine, 60 lbs of weed, 40 lbs of spices, 6 donkeys, 6 mules, throwing spear, 50 coins >_
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Jul 9, 2020 05:29
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You hurl a fistful of coins up into the air while saying "It's time to party, fuckers!" While some scramble to catch the coins, you whip out your spear and throw it at a woman, skewering her through the neck, while flinging your daggers at a dwarf and elf. One misses, but the dwarf takes a dagger in the eye and drops. You draw your sword and charge, slashing down the elf that shot your horse, which kicks a man in the head, caving in his face. A dwarf is trying desperately to drag your baggage train away, but you reach down to retrieve your spear from the neck of the dead woman, and throw it through his chest. A man in heavy armor engages you with an axe on foot. You lop off his hand and grab the axe out of the air and slam it into his face. Calling once again on the power of the ancient Beornings, to ENLARGE a donkey, which grows to the size of a horse and becomes very aggressive, kicking a man in the knee and maiming him. Six of your foes lay dead and one maimed; the others notch arrows or ready spears to throw. Coin toss time. Toss a coin and post the results.
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Jul 10, 2020 02:38
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naem posted:>ENLARGE bosom you've already done that, toss a coin
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Jul 10, 2020 04:46
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four minutes
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Jul 10, 2020 04:56
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Arrows are loosed at you, which you block with your shield, but a spear goes through your thigh. You slash an elf who tries to grab the reigns of your horse, killing him, but a woman and a drawf drag you off the horse and beat you unconscious. You wake up with a swollen bloody face laying in a barn with your hands and legs bound, in nothing but your traveling clothes. All of your other possessions have been taken. Your leg wound has been treated but smarts awfully. You have no idea where you are. >_
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Jul 10, 2020 |
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Jul 10, 2020 05:12
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Daikloktos posted:See, and you got all snippy with me like I was being a pedantic rear end in a top hat. When really I care about this quest and making sure we remember all the tools at hand to do, whatever. Silmarils? I guess... if we know one's in the sky, eagles. Do we know about eagles? Do we know who knows about eagles? Where do we go for eagles I'm sorry. I didnt mean to sound snippy. The one in the sky is a star, I don't think eagles could get there.
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Jul 10, 2020 05:15
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Daikloktos posted:It is okay I forgive you. But about the sky: I'm a Viking horse maiden forced into a loveless political marriage, stuck raising a hateful bastard child that has sucked the youth from my bosom. What the gently caress do I know about the stars the text does bear out that it was not a political marriage 
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Jul 10, 2020 05:24
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Daikloktos posted:Like a drinking ballad about a dude who rode into the furthest east to battle the sun. Something like that my lore is not strong enough but i can offer this Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
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Jul 10, 2020 06:03
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You attempt to call on the power of your ancestors once more, but without your armor nothing happens. You gnaw voraciously through the rope binding your hands and finally rip them free, and untie your feet. A dwarf is slumped by the barn door, plainly drunk. You choke him to death, and take his dagger. Your leg is inflamed and you are feverish, but steady. You look outside; it is night. An elf, a man, and a woman are sitting around a campfire, talking with five orcs and a large Dunlanding man; all are armed. The woman is wearing your armor, shield and sword. Your horse and pack animals are tied up on a tree opposite the fire. >_
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 08:33 on Jul 10, 2020 |
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Jul 10, 2020 08:30
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You wait for a while, and watch the party around the fire get stoned as poo poo. After an hour or so, the orcs come to check on you. You hide in the hay loft, and kick over an oil lamp, lighting the entire place on fire, then run out while holding the dead dwarf, and kick the door shut behind you. You hold the dwarf behind you, as though it was using you as a puppet. "Oi look at me oi'm a shieldmaiden! haha!" The others stand around in shock, some of them pissing into the fire, and look at the dead dwarf as though it were insane. You use the dwarf corpse to power-slam the man, while throwing the dagger through the eye of the woman. The elf reaches for his bow but his pants are around his ankles (feels good man) and can't reach it before you kick him in the trachea, crushing his throat. The woman lays by the fire spasming from brain damage. The huge Dunlanding draws his sword, as the barn burns behind you Inventory: clothes >_
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Jul 11, 2020 02:03
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 20:06 |
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naem posted:>MOUNT double-donkey and ride to battle bosoms-akimbo i dont know what thid meands
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Jul 11, 2020 03:06
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