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Interesting thread but let me be (I think) the first one to say "gently caress ants". I hate them and they creep me right out with their chilling efficiency, naked aggression and willingness to self sacrifice. I live in Florida and jesus christ I swear to god the fire ants that live here have it on for me. I've been severely stung or swarmed at least 5 times by these motherfuckers. When I first moved here the first time I learned about these special little guys, I went to a party and kicked off my canvas boat shoes by the front door. As I was driving home, I began to experience what I can only describe as a burning injection into my foot and between my toes. I couldn't figure it out but my foot literally felt like it was on fire. Turns out, a bunch of fire ants crawled into my shoe. My foot swelled up like an eggplant and was covered in these tiny, puss oozing blisters for over a week. I couldn't wear sneakers or anything besides sandals or flip flops. The second time, I was sitting and fishing along the river, leaned down resting my left hand on the ground to do something and stuck it right in a nest without realizing it. A half hour later, I was having trouble breathing and my arm started to look like a sweet potato, cutting off the circulation to my hand and sending me to the ER. You'd think at this point I'd learn to watch where I sit and walk but nope. This time I sat almost directly on top of a nest while wearing shorts and they hosed up my thigh and lower calf. I was really terrified they were crawling on me, were making their way up my towards my crotch and did what I'm sure must have been a really entertaining dance for everyone in the park. Again, I swelled up like the elephant man. I've learned to be more careful but those bitches seem to have it out for me and can sense my extreme allergy. I've caught some subsequent stings while doing yard work and poo poo but have gotten substantially better with my "don't sit on the ground in Florida" and "Always wear shoes" policy. ... Ants (and hornets and wasps) just give my the heebie jeebies. They look so MEAN close up and watching them swarm on anything with that angry herd mentality skeeves me right the gently caress out. Sorry to interrupt everyone's Ant Love discussion but I figured I'd way in from an alternative angle of "gently caress them". It only takes maybe 4 or 5 concentrated stings for wherever I was attacked to swell up like a balloon and make that part of my body look like I'm wearing a fat suit. I know it's my fault for disturbing their nest but holy poo poo I find them terrifying and those fuckers won't listen to explanation or reason.
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Oct 11, 2020 17:16
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:06 |
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Goons Are Great posted:Heh that's fine, I totally get if someone doesn't like ants or their typically aggressive behavior. They believe they own this planet as much as we do and you're around as allergic to them as they are to your foot inside their nest. Except they simply refuse to accept my humble and sincere apologies whenever I gently caress up. I'm not looking for trouble with these jerks. My handwritten letter to the nest I stepped on went unanswered and was never even acknowledged. Yeah, real classy, ants. Also, that hiding in my shoe, laying in wait, total dickhead ambush and stinging me on my drive home from a party was some bullshit so they loving started it as far as I'm concerned. I almost wrecked my car flopping my foot around the gas and the break pedals and it wasn't like I put sugar cubes or bread crumbs in my disgusting canvas boat shoe to lead them on either. They planned that poo poo. As we stand in this moment in time, ants can all get hosed and are free to contact my attorney.
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Oct 11, 2020 22:35
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