The Unique Legal Customs in Missouri

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > The Unique Legal Customs in Missouri

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Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

lol

# ? Jul 12, 2020 04:11

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:58

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Prof. Crocodile posted:

A party may legally discharge firearms at (or in the direction of) a second party, if'n they had it comin'.

This law shall not be construed to encompass second parties who:

Were only funnin'

Didn't mean nobody no harm no how

# ? Jul 12, 2020 04:21

vanisher

Prof. Crocodile posted:

A party may legally discharge firearms at (or in the direction of) a second party, if'n they had it comin'.

This law shall not be construed to encompass second parties who:

Were only funnin'

Didn't mean nobody no harm no how

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Jul 12, 2020 04:28

Manifisto

Prof. Crocodile posted:

A party may legally discharge firearms at (or in the direction of) a second party, if'n they had it comin'.

This law shall not be construed to encompass second parties who:

Were only funnin'

Didn't mean nobody no harm no how

# ? Jul 12, 2020 05:29

Jaguars!

The Mayor of Hannibal, MO, is handed a beautifully polished air rifle. He solemnly takes aim and fires, cutting the ribbon and giving the proud city a new academy of fine arts.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 13:11

Escape From Noise

Luvcow posted:

my understanding of missouri is 3 seasons of ozark and i am terrified of you all

I grew up in the Ozarks. It is terrifying.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 15:01

Escape From Noise

Any dish called a "salad" must contain at least ten percent mayonnaise.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 15:03

alnilam

Prof. Crocodile posted:

A party may legally discharge firearms at (or in the direction of) a second party, if'n they had it comin'.

This law shall not be construed to encompass second parties who:

Were only funnin'

Didn't mean nobody no harm no how

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Jul 12, 2020 16:14

Escape From Noise

If you are tubing in a public river your BAC must be at least .05, ideally higher.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:02

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

all beer coozies must read DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:11

Escape From Noise

Small claims court decisions can be reached through a shirtless fistfight in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart or convenience store.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:14

Escape From Noise

Anybody caught spitting their dip in a spittoon shall be fined $100 and put on probation so that the probation officer can confirm that the offender spits into a proper receptacle such as an empty coke bottle or Mountain Dew can, preferably placed among an assortment of cans and bottles filled with the actual drinks.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:18

Escape From Noise

Anybody caught producing and selling moonshine or methamphetamine shall be held in the county jail until the proper authorities get their cut.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:20

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

a styrofoam cup with a wadded up paper towel in it is also acceptable under the newest ordinance

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:21

Escape From Noise

Come all you Missouri gals an' listen to my noise
Mind how you marry them Arkansas boys
For if you do your portion it will be
Cold johnnycake an' venison is all you will see

They will lead you out in them blackjack hills
There so much against your will
Leave you there for to perish on the place
For that's the way of the Arkansas race

Sandstone chimney an' a batten door Clapboard roof an' a puncheon floor
Some gets a little an'some gets none
An' that's the way of the Arkansas run.

When they go to meetin' the clothes they wear
Is a old brown coat all tore an' bare
A old white hat without no crown
An' old blue duckins the whole year round.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:32

Escape From Noise

Any restaurant serving a vegetarian alternative will lose one letter grade off of their restaurant inspection grade.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:41

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

suggested attire for the ladies of Missouri: oversized Looney Tunes tee shirt, walmart flip-flops and a side pony tail held up in a big scrunchie. no pants needed

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:47

Escape From Noise

Those who wish to homeschool their children may do so. TLC, Fox News, and Christian broadcasting stations are acceptable alternatives to school. Parents who allow their children to watch PBS will receive a visit from CPS.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:48

Escape From Noise

Any monster truck has the power to legally perform weddings.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 20:54

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Vehicles rolling coal have the right of way at all intersections.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 21:05

vanisher

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Any monster truck has the power to legally perform weddings.

Reverend Gravedigger: (deafening engine noise)

Me: I do

# ? Jul 12, 2020 21:27

Prof. Crocodile

vanisher posted:

# ? Jul 12, 2020 21:48

Prof. Crocodile

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Small claims court decisions can be reached through a shirtless fistfight in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart or convenience store.

It is a harsh land, but fair.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 21:49

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Luvcow posted:

my understanding of missouri is 3 seasons of ozark and i am terrified of you all

One of my best friends ever it's from Missouri, and he's a wonderful man, but that doesn't condone Missouri's continued, reckless existence.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 21:59

Brute Squad: Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race

the summoning of a billiken is a long, complicated ritual that involves offerings of toasted ravioli and budweiser and repeated invocations of Jesuit prayers.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 23:48

Brute Squad: Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race

st louis recently expanded their bonfire statute to include effigies of Stan Kroenke as allowed permitless bonfires within the city limits.

# ? Jul 12, 2020 23:51

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:58

Escape From Noise

Brute Squad posted:

the summoning of a billiken is a long, complicated ritual that involves offerings of toasted ravioli and budweiser and repeated invocations of Jesuit prayers.

A Jesuit? Get 'im!

# ? Jul 13, 2020 04:04

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > The Unique Legal Customs in Missouri

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