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numberoneposter posted:hello my dear goons i have a rendezvous avec une femme and im wonder what tips you can give me Yeah well let's start with that... if you're gonna write rendez-vous without an hyphen, you ain't getting the hymen!
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Jul 4, 2020 15:48
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:04 |
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Nobody mentioned taking a shower op. Somehow it does not surprise me.
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Jul 4, 2020 15:53
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Stuff the front of your pants with a roll of socks to enhance your “package”. Stuff the back of your pants as well to balance things out.
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Jul 4, 2020 16:01
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Make sure you take advantage of every opportunity to spin her. Dancing, walking, driving (do donuts) etc.. just make sure she's constantly twirling. Being dizzy feels the same as being in love so your spins on the date will make her think she's calling in love. It's a good trick and I hope to try it myself one day!
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Jul 4, 2020 16:01
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Be sure to sit close enough to rub her thighs with your hands. Don't touch her with sweaty palms though.
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Jul 4, 2020 16:07
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Icochet posted:Go to the arcade before the date, check every game and see which name appears most on the high score lists. Then take your date to the arcade and lie that it's you this guy fucks
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Jul 4, 2020 16:12
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I'm assuming that you have been nofap for AT LEAST a month beforehand - you should be absolutely exuding male essence and she'll melt like butter if you have given in and abused yourself then lmfao enjoy u're awkward, hug-less nightmare of a date
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Jul 4, 2020 17:02
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ok this is good stuff im writing these down on a parchment paper with my quill pen because im going somewhere with no free wifi
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Jul 4, 2020 17:05
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Make sure to constantly post any updates to the forums Use your data nerd When she asks a question be like "yo gotta ask my friends on the forums what the right reply to this is" She'll ride you like a cowboy because you have 200,000 friends and that's a lot
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Jul 4, 2020 17:07
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numberoneposter posted:ok this is good stuff im writing these down on a parchment paper with my quill pen because im going somewhere with no free wifi Is this date to go see the fireworks? If so, here's my tip: Make sure to tell her right away that you're wearing a diaper so she doesn't have to worry about anything during the show. That way she can focus on enjoying herself, and not have to think about if you've accidentally been startled into soiling yourself because of the loud noises and sudden lights. Why do they keep shooting them, and who's doing that? I don't know! But it's all very confusing! Regardless, if you tell her in advance, she'll be aware and know that she won't have to worry and can enjoy the date knowing that you're wearing an adult undergarment the entire time and it's not her responsibility to know if you've soiled yourself and need to be cleaned or taken home.
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Jul 4, 2020 17:12
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numberoneposter posted:hello my dear goons i have a rendezvous avec une femme and im wonder what tips you can give me What's le nomme de l'homme?
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Jul 4, 2020 22:29
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have a nice time op
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Jul 4, 2020 23:47
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she's gonna ghost op
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Jul 5, 2020 00:02
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'getting to know you' convo is so boring. By wearing shirts and hats and even pants that show your hobbies you can skip straight to the good stuff. Any goon branded stuff might be a little distasteful all things considered, but e3/pax swag is definitely on the table!
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Jul 5, 2020 00:09
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Sex pro tip, super glue your balls to your thigh this wil prevent them from going into the vagina when ur f*cking !!!!
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Jul 5, 2020 00:11
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Haven't taken French since I was a junior in high school but I still knew what OP was saying and that makes me feel like I am smart
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Jul 5, 2020 00:15
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did you know the french dont have a word for entrepreneur! w told me
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Jul 5, 2020 00:25
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Bring a flower OP but nothing crazy like a rose, like, a nice carnation or something
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Jul 5, 2020 00:29
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I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock hard gently caress staff until she's dead, etc., however the rest of that post goes
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Jul 5, 2020 00:30
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ilikedirt posted:Sex pro tip, super glue your balls to your thigh this wil prevent them from going into the vagina when ur f*cking !!!! Bad tip. Chicks love the balls slapping against the cheeks.
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Jul 5, 2020 00:44
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females love it when you refer to them as a female ex. "you are a beautiful female"
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Jul 5, 2020 00:48
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numberoneposter posted:i have a rendezvous avec une femme I wish I could make the exact sound of Kif sighing.
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Jul 5, 2020 00:54
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Nuts and Gum posted:'getting to know you' convo is so boring. By wearing shirts and hats and even pants that show your hobbies you can skip straight to the good stuff.   Full thread here: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3930972
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Jul 5, 2020 01:01
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Having sex is an A+ date experience
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Jul 5, 2020 01:02
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Please literally piss on anyone who uses "connoisseur" to appear smart and cultured when that loving swine doesn't realize it should be spelt "connaisseur". There are literally american businesses with "connoisseur" in their name because these worthless assholes think it's somehow elite to use that word when it's been centuries, millenia, eras since that word should be spelled "connAisseur" and I don't give a poo poo if it's Old French nor your arguments for using it, gently caress your face. You non-connaisseur gently caress.
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Jul 5, 2020 01:05
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I'M ANGRY AND HAVE OPINIONS. e: hope your date went well OP
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Jul 5, 2020 01:06
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Bronze Fonz posted:Please literally piss on anyone who uses "connoisseur" to appear smart and cultured when that loving swine doesn't realize it should be spelt "connaisseur". say this verbatim to your date, OP.
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Jul 5, 2020 01:08
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Bronze Fonz posted:Please literally piss on anyone who uses "connoisseur" to appear smart and cultured when that loving swine doesn't realize it should be spelt "connaisseur". take a chillax pill sweetheart
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Jul 5, 2020 01:14
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pro strat is only turn right all night. in the car, when walking, when turning your head to look at things, only go right. any time you need to go left, keep turning right until you're facing the right way
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Jul 5, 2020 01:26
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Been having dezha-woo that the OP made a foxpa during his tet a tet with the feme fatal by ordering something unethical off the alakarts causing her to bid him expedited bone voyae.
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Jul 5, 2020 01:50
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Before engaging in any sexual activity, be sure to ensure her unambiguous consent. For example, you might carry a printer to her house and wait for her to spontaneously affirm she wants to make passionate love to you
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Jul 5, 2020 01:53
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Speak softly and carry a big dick.
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Jul 5, 2020 01:58
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bring a bunch of dollar bills and keep nonchalantly eating them throughout the night until they notice then offer some
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Jul 5, 2020 02:00
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hope your date went well op. grats on the sex/stilted rejection/day in jail
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Jul 5, 2020 02:01
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may i suggest you do a lowtax. (seriously don't do a lowtax)
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Jul 5, 2020 02:02
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OP my secret to a good date is to script it in advanceBronze Fonz posted:Please literally piss on anyone who uses "connoisseur" to appear smart and cultured when that loving swine doesn't realize it should be spelt "connaisseur". Connoisseur is how it was spelled in french until 1835. Much like Americans sticking with Soccer when nobody told them it got updated to Football, this is why publishing patch notes is important Barudak fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Jul 5, 2020 |
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Jul 5, 2020 02:12
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Bronze Fonz posted:Please literally piss on anyone who uses "connoisseur" to appear smart and cultured when that loving swine doesn't realize it should be spelt "connaisseur". You're def not a post connoisseur
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Jul 5, 2020 02:13
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OP I would like to know how the date went and if our tips helped you succeed in wooing this beautiful lady
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Jul 5, 2020 04:09
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If there's no anal on the first date, don't call her again, op.
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Jul 5, 2020 05:20
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Please at least tell us you put an hyphen in "rendez-vous" IRL otherwise LOL you'll always be a virgin I should know about that. 
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Jul 5, 2020 05:32
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