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pop punk
Jun 26, 2018



As an American with no high school diploma who is currently thinking maybe I should start worrying about immigration at some point in the next twenty-thirty years just in case, what is the cheapest way to get an undergraduate degree that isn't fake preferably online? I also have one year of a masters program down, so I could knock off the second year really easily.

I don't need the school to be good or to learn anything. (Could be a nice bonus. Maybe grammar and spelling would be nice.) I am already basically in the upper level of my field and nobody has ever asked where I went to school before.

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The_Continental
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


Yeah sounds good you'll be fine

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004


Kill someone and steal their diploma.

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 23 days!


You don't need to go to school you can learn everything you'll need to learn in life here at the SomethingAwful.com forums, friend

The Persian Funk
Jun 13, 2006

by Athanatos


Schweinhund posted:

Kill someone and steal their diploma.

The psychological, emotional, and spiritual cost of murder is way higher than the monetary cost of the average degree.

Sprue
Feb 20, 2006

please send nudes


How did u get 1 year of a Master's with no college degree? Or are u asking cuz u had a fake degree to qualify for the masters

pop punk
Jun 26, 2018



Sprue posted:

How did u get 1 year of a Master's with no college degree? Or are u asking cuz u had a fake degree to qualify for the masters

I got in on my portfolio when I visited the school to attend a workshop and had to attend a single credit of community college at another local school at the same time. I donít know.


The Persian Funk posted:

The psychological, emotional, and spiritual cost of murder is way higher than the monetary cost of the average degree.

For me professionally a degree is literally worthless. I was just looking into a backup plan of moving to Canada or south east Asia and realized my work experience wonít mean anything to someone deciding if I get to enter their country.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


The Persian Funk posted:

The psychological, emotional, and spiritual cost of murder is way higher than the monetary cost of the average degree.

[citation needed]

LabyaMynora
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost


Grimey Drawer

Online colleges are scams. Their purpose is to extract guaranteed loans from the government, and put you on the hook for them.

Private colleges are pretty much the same.

State/community schools are the least bad option.

Online/Private colleges will be easier to get a degree from (they are literally degree mills after all), but will cost more, State/Community colleges will cost less, but will generally be hypersensitive about the coursework mattering a lot. Never tell a state/community college professor/lecturer/whatever that none of it really matters or is a waste of time and you've got "real work" to do or they will flip their poo poo as their world shatters around them.

Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011


pop punk posted:

As an American with no high school diploma who is currently thinking maybe I should start worrying about immigration at some point in the next twenty-thirty years just in case, what is the cheapest way to get an undergraduate degree that isn't fake preferably online? I also have one year of a masters program down, so I could knock off the second year really easily.

I don't need the school to be good or to learn anything. (Could be a nice bonus. Maybe grammar and spelling would be nice.) I am already basically in the upper level of my field and nobody has ever asked where I went to school before.

There are some state colleges (not degree mills) that have pretty "affordable" online tuition rates for students - even for students without residency status in that particular state. "Affordable", however, still means considerable debt unless you score some grant money or scholarships.

Pulvis Sumus fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Jul 5, 2020

luchajones
Jan 28, 2018
Probation
Can't post for 29 days!


rob a bank instead

pop punk
Jun 26, 2018



LabyaMynora posted:

Online colleges are scams. Their purpose is to extract guaranteed loans from the government, and put you on the hook for them.

Private colleges are pretty much the same.

State/community schools are the least bad option.

Online/Private colleges will be easier to get a degree from (they are literally degree mills after all), but will cost more, State/Community colleges will cost less, but will generally be hypersensitive about the coursework mattering a lot. Never tell a state/community college professor/lecturer/whatever that none of it really matters or is a waste of time and you've got "real work" to do or they will flip their poo poo as their world shatters around them.

I would never tell someone their job is worthless. Thatís mean. People need to learn that on their own. Also I know a lot of teachers in my field know itís a scam and I donít want to blow up their spot.

I am now realizing community colleges might do online courses? Hell yeah. I would feel weird showing up on a campus.

pop punk
Jun 26, 2018



luchajones posted:

rob a bank instead

Rob a bank to get a college degree to look better on paper for foreign countries if my country starts collapsing?

I feel like most people didnít read my post.

pop punk fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Jul 5, 2020

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

This picture, found by typing "random image" into Google, is a more accurate representation of who I am than anything I would have consciously chosen.




*Takes deep breath*

I think the safe answer here is to find an ACCREDITED community college, and knock out as many requirements as you can at a discount rate, then transfer to formal college and take as few courses as you can get away with.

A few handy tips to make this work:
  • Start thinking about your next move IMMEDIATELY. Larger community colleges can have scholarships for graduates going to affiliated Uni's, and might even have some administrative relationships that can ease the paperwork burden of applying/transfering. The bureaucratic snarl of the American higher education system is nightmarish, but it can help you sometimes if you put in the effort.
  • If you're planning ahead or if you live in an area with lots of legitimate 4-year schools, make sure your community college has a good credit transfer history with the non-community college(s) that you want to attend. This takes some foresight, but can save you a TON of frustrating paperwork and unexpected expenses down the line. Getting blindsided by gen-ed requirements that you thought you had covered will ruin your summer and your wallet.
  • Take community college seriously. A good GPA at community college might be the tipping point between getting some $ assistance and having to foot the entire bill on your own.
  • Consider a GED, if you don't already have one. College is about checking boxes, and you need that "high school or other" box checked ASAP.
  • Build a good relationship with your advisors at community college and non-community college. They have seen a thousand people just like you, and know exactly what you want, and the best way to get it. Be honest with them and be respectful of their time. Some may be evangelical about the spiritual value of education, but most know that the higher ed system is hosed, and will appreciate the difficult position that you're in, as well as your honesty.

I've heard online/for-profit colleges can work if you are going into a field that's super skill-driven, like coding or cooking, because potential employers will just ask you to demonstrate your skills, and the degree is purely cursory. However I would assume that anything that CAN be a scam WILL be a scam.

Source: A few years ago I did pretty much exactly what you're trying to do, and it worked out. I have a great job for a great company and occasionally get offers to work overseas--temporarily and permanently--although so far nothing great.

Prof. Crocodile fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Jul 5, 2020

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008


online colleges, even online-only places, aren't necessarily scams, but you've got to do some research.

there are places that don't require a high school diploma, but the only one I can think of is MIT, which is if nothing else not gonna be cheap.

see what the requirements are for starting a degree at your local technical school, and see about how transferring to a state school would work. tuition for both of those is generally subsidized by the state.

scholarships are the ideal solution, but I'm not sure how you'd wrangle that in this situation. I honestly think it might be easier to get a free master's that's worthwhile than a free bachelor's that is (depending on the field)

my kinda ape
Sep 15, 2008

Everything's gonna be A-OK


Hair Elf

Yeah OP the answer is to find a good community college.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

just watch all the lectures on youtube. then pirate the textbook and read it. write a 5,000 word post on the subject then GBS will grade it

XA Shere
Apr 18, 2019


Purdue is a really good online university. I hear they are [open source].

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos


pop punk posted:

For me professionally a degree is literally worthless. I was just looking into a backup plan of moving to Canada or south east Asia and realized my work experience wonít mean anything to someone deciding if I get to enter their country.
I'm confused. Either you're in a line of work where your experience is quantifiable by portfolio, work history, etc. and its also in demand worldwide or you're not. A college degree might check some immigration boxes that get you hard papers in less years but your first priority is getting sponsorship and sponsorship comes from what are basically job offers. To make sure its just not pure graft or people smuggling there will be some amount of experience check through background checks or a demonstration of experience. In absence of quantified experience (certifications, a portfolio) you then want a degree. In which case it blanket isn't worthless for your profession because its the quantified experience you'd want whether you are in or out of country looking for a new job at all.

A degree might qualify you for some lottery programs but that's nothing to bank on. If you're going to set money on fire evaluating how to get off the sinking ship you should probably splurge for an immigration consultation for your target country first to understand exactly your pathways.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

pop punk posted:

For me professionally a degree is literally worthless. I was just looking into a backup plan of moving to Canada or south east Asia and realized my work experience wonít mean anything to someone deciding if I get to enter their country.

because of NAFTA there is certain professions that get automatic work permits in USA/Canada. if you become a librarian for example you can just cross into canada and accept a job offer. you dont even need to fill out a form or anything ahead of time they will take care of it at the border.

of course this applies to the before times. if you want to get into canada right now i suggest you move to detroit and buy a small boat.

low key sex master
May 27, 2004




Trump University gives you all the tools you need to succeed at affordable prices

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


Have you heard of the school of hard knocks op

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


Tbh if all you think about is better chances of legal immigration... I don't know if it'll matter much in 4 years that will take you to get the degree. Having a shitton of money is almost always preferable, they don't really take in any idiot who knows how to touch computers anymore. If you don't got a shitton of money and don't think that you will when things go down, consider alternative methods

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos


Rutibex posted:

because of NAFTA there is certain professions that get automatic work permits in USA/Canada. if you become a librarian for example you can just cross into canada and accept a job offer. you dont even need to fill out a form or anything ahead of time they will take care of it at the border.

of course this applies to the before times. if you want to get into canada right now i suggest you move to detroit and buy a small boat.
The policy is still kept up by Canada even if some of the reciprocals on the US side have been sandbagged. You can get on going 1-2 year Canadian work permits as a US citizen with minimum questions asked if you have no criminal record, are in an under served Canadian labor market like library science or IT, have 5 years experience and a degree or 10 years experience, and have a job offer. Less experience or degrees and you can still often get in, just with renewing your permit more often so your sponsor doesn't feel obligated to continue employment if you're not good at your job.

I'd file ahead at this point though, these days they're less likely to wave you through with a 1 month check up while you're waiting on the background checks to come back on your criminal record and degree/work experience. So you want that stuff in the database by the time you enter or you might be turning around or sleeping in the immigration office if you use the just show up route.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

at big universities there's too many students for the professors to notice if you aren't enrolled, and their course catalogues are usually online
just start attending classes and they will eventually give you a degree
I think this was they did in "good will hunting", I haven't seen it

naem
May 29, 2011



I served in the Army National Guard and proudly defended FREEDOM from Canada and now I have a masters digree

Jimong5
Oct 3, 2005


Grimey Drawer

Find a local tech school with a good variety of transfer agreements. See what kind of online options those schools have. I did like 75% of my AA/BA online without having to go to a physical classroom.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.


Just get a job OP. They are going to just teach you everything anyway.

nut
Jul 30, 2019



everest college is an affordable fun and easy way to get an education online for only 200 dollars our website is down right now cuz it caught corona but if u just venmo me the 2 hundy u can start telling ur friends ur a paralegal whate ver that is

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!



Just lmao if you dont think the US is gonna take the rest of the world down with it when it fully collapses in the next few years. Emigrate to where?

JK Fresco
Jul 5, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 14 days!


The Persian Funk posted:

The psychological, emotional, and spiritual cost of murder is way higher than the monetary cost of the average degree.

Wrong

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 10 days!


pop punk posted:

As an American with no high school diploma who is currently thinking maybe I should start worrying about immigration at some point in the next twenty-thirty years just in case, what is the cheapest way to get an undergraduate degree that isn't fake preferably online? I also have one year of a masters program down, so I could knock off the second year really easily.

I don't need the school to be good or to learn anything. (Could be a nice bonus. Maybe grammar and spelling would be nice.) I am already basically in the upper level of my field and nobody has ever asked where I went to school before.

online degrees used to be a joke but who the ffffffffffffffuck knows what the future will hold post-covid. tbh most colleges are scrambling to adapt, if not in outright panic free-fall, so standards for entry have probably never been lower. local scholarships are either experiencing no applicants or have held off accepting folks at all this year.

no one fuckin knows.

re: getting it cheap, most universities used to offer free classes to employees and direct family, but these have been curtailed severely in recent years. you'll probably need a union job in a college for that benefit, but if you can swing it, it's a sweet gig. when i start posting to the frontpage again i'm going to collaborate on some knifedad articles with a lady who got a degree from Harvard for free that way.

Sekenr
Dec 12, 2013






I was thinking something along these lines OP, but in my case just for fun. And found this EU based uni, which is way cheaper than US ones and should probably not matter to you where it is geographically since its online. Also, it seems to me that EU online universities should be less scammy, can anyonr confirm/deny?

https://www.domuni.eu/en/learning/b...ology---year-1/

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015



Just finish your masters. Master sounds cooler.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

Cubone posted:

at big universities there's too many students for the professors to notice if you aren't enrolled, and their course catalogues are usually online
just start attending classes and they will eventually give you a degree
I think this was they did in "good will hunting", I haven't seen it

you can definitely sneak into university classes and learn everything they are learning for free. you can even tell the professor what you are doing and 99% of the time they won't care.

they will not under any circumstances give you a degree unless you pay them (a lot)

kazr
Jan 28, 2005


earned my degree at the school of big knockers

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

kazr posted:

earned my degree at the school of big knockers

It's the tits!

Chomp8645
Sep 1, 2006

Vvardenfell awaits.



kazr posted:

earned my degree at the school of big knockers

I'm self taught.

SO DEMANDING
Dec 27, 2003




Unlockable Ben

I got my degree from a nearby state school, was able to do some classes online and some in-person.

There's plenty of real (accredited, recognizable name) universities and colleges that offer online courses these days. But the thing is, online courses for the most part are loving terrible. Online education is pretty much a giant side-hustle for the schools, and sometimes even the professors (I had plenty of instructors who had other jobs and only taught part time, or taught at one school during the day and did online courses elsewhere). Some things work fine online, some instructors manage to do a decent job with the limitations inherent to online learning, but overall poo poo was far from academically rigorous, put it that way.

But it sounds like OP kinda wants a degree mill so eh whatever.

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Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

SO DEMANDING posted:

I got my degree from a nearby state school, was able to do some classes online and some in-person.

There's plenty of real (accredited, recognizable name) universities and colleges that offer online courses these days. But the thing is, online courses for the most part are loving terrible. Online education is pretty much a giant side-hustle for the schools, and sometimes even the professors (I had plenty of instructors who had other jobs and only taught part time, or taught at one school during the day and did online courses elsewhere). Some things work fine online, some instructors manage to do a decent job with the limitations inherent to online learning, but overall poo poo was far from academically rigorous, put it that way.

But it sounds like OP kinda wants a degree mill so eh whatever.

online learning does indeed "work fine" for a lot of things. and its great because it doesnt require a lot of effort on the professors part. so much so that you can do online courses from top universities for free. they dont give a gently caress you can get the reading list and the lectures on their web sites:

https://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm

you can become educated for free very easily. obtaining credentials is another story of course

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