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PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 9 days!


Owetax is harassing Logan through his facebook page, including posting her e-mail so his supporters there can spam her.

Last few articles have been phoned in because I didn't think any of you were reading them. Some of you feel that I am co-opting identities I don't belong to, I assure you I speak from a place of deep personal experience. You say I didn't do well in these last few articles, so I'll do better next time. You're right, it wasn't my best work.
Some of you feel the topics I wrote about were inappropriate for the front page as a whole. Fair enough, I haven't been feeling especially funny lately.
Whatever the frontpage becomes is going to be something the community works out together, once we own the site free and clear. But if we don't reckon with the negative part of our legacy, whatever we build will be doomed to be a museum of terminally online crabs in love with their only bucket.

My PMs are open, if you'd like to talk things over.

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Hitlersaurus Christ
Oct 14, 2005



Buglord

Please donít do better next time. Donít do anything next time.

qnqnx
Nov 14, 2010



Hitlersaurus Christ posted:

Please don’t do better next time. Don’t do anything next time.

wit
Jul 26, 2011


PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Some of you feel the topics I wrote about were inappropriate for the front page as a whole. Fair enough, I haven't been feeling especially funny lately.
Don't join up da vinci code dots from furry poo poo to homophobia and then say "we" apologize. That's just a hot take, apologize for that yourself if you want I guess unless that article was some founding fathers poo poo.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

But if we don't reckon with the negative part of our legacy, whatever we build will be doomed to be a museum of terminally online crabs in love with their only bucket.
loving WHY though? Why grandstand on this? You are not a public figure that has to enrich and guide people and topple internet statues.

Just....remove "we" from your vocabulary, please. Or list the undersigned so they can also have stuff thrown at them.

an overdue owl
Feb 26, 2012

hoot




PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Some of you feel that I am co-opting identities I don't belong to, I assure you I speak from a place of deep personal experience.

Ahaha, oh go to hell with this - some of you minorities were offended but TRUST me I am an EXPERT.

Your deep personal experience doesn't change that what you wrote was tone deaf at best. Do something actually impressive and admit you hosed up without this mealy mouthed some of you feeeeeel self pitying rubbish.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

I AM TRULY ONE OF THE WORST POSTERS ON THIS SITE. LOOK UPON THIS GUY MANN REREG AND DESPAIR.


I've enjoyed your articles, and anyone that didn't should be welcome to submit some unpaid articles of their own to help this site in its trying time instead of trying to tear down what few writers remain.

pram
Jun 10, 2001


phiz has logged on his sockpuppet i see

Hitlersaurus Christ
Oct 14, 2005



Buglord

If Guy Mann/Sleeveless likes your articles you know youíve hosed up.

Fsmhunk
Jul 19, 2012

Megatron is a wimp!


Sleeveless posted:

I've enjoyed your articles, and anyone that didn't should be welcome to submit some unpaid articles of their own to help this site in its trying time instead of trying to tear down what few writers remain.

drat, now he's going to KNOW he hosed up.

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


I'm a terminally online crab in a bucket, in a museum.





Not sure what that makes me in real life, the metaphor is clear as mud.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 9 days!


Sleeveless posted:

I've enjoyed your articles, and anyone that didn't should be welcome to submit some unpaid articles of their own to help this site in its trying time instead of trying to tear down what few writers remain.

oh

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!


good luck op, I hope you eventually write things that are loved by people and maybe goons too

Quotey
Aug 16, 2006



in forgiveness we all walk away winners. god bless

Thank You Card
Mar 20, 2007

I'm your only friend.


Hitlersaurus Christ posted:

Please donít do better next time. Donít do anything next time.


Hitlersaurus Christ posted:

If Guy Mann/Sleeveless likes your articles you know you’ve hosed up.

Literal Nazi Furry
Jan 27, 2008

Swastika - Helvetica - Ikea
Last night I dreamt of Adolf searching for Anne.
I lay on my back
standing alone in the corner watching the girls dance.

I'm on crystal meth.
I piss in my pants.

this reads like one of those spineless apologies with pointing out that you offended people and didn't do your best except without actually saying sorry

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

100% Rad


Hitlersaurus Christ posted:

Please donít do better next time. Donít do anything next time.

kolby
Oct 29, 2004



phiz, you have this self-importance about you that i haven't seen in a long time. you're a really bad writer and a worse person and no one cares about you. please just self ban and come back on a fresh account where no one knows who you are.

Nucular Carmul
Jan 26, 2005

Melongenidae incantatrix

So I was trying to understand where you were coming from in writing the article, but this non apology makes me mentally walk back all of it. The article was terrible, you have no idea what you're talking about, and nthing the call for you to just not bother in the future.

Literal Nazi Furry
Jan 27, 2008

Swastika - Helvetica - Ikea
Last night I dreamt of Adolf searching for Anne.
I lay on my back
standing alone in the corner watching the girls dance.

I'm on crystal meth.
I piss in my pants.

Nucular Carmul posted:

So I was trying to understand where you were coming from in writing the article, but this non apology makes me mentally walk back all of it. The article was terrible, you have no idea what you're talking about, and nthing the call for you to just not bother in the future.

how hard can it be sincerely to say sorry. not even say sorry but type out sorry. people who wont say sorry will feel very weird making themselves say sorry but this is just typing. he's doesn't have to even deal with looking anyone in the eyes and saying sorry and yet he still can't do it. i can't imagine how miserable phiz would be irl if they can't even apologize online when that's clearly what the right move would be here. why right a wrong when you could go half way to the right thing and decide it's good enough for you so it should be good enough for others. it's so loving weak that it is innnnnncredible.

instead of talking over pms, go post a real apology and make sure you use the "ATTENTION" tag.

Literal Nazi Furry fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Jul 7, 2020

Horace
Apr 17, 2007

Gone Skiin'



I think you should be commended for bringing so much attention to the front page. Has any front page article ever generated so many posts?

Nucular Carmul
Jan 26, 2005

Melongenidae incantatrix

Horace posted:

I think you should be commended for bringing so much attention to the front page. Has any front page article ever generated so many posts?

I don't remember the volume of posting about the movie reviews but there was a pretty lengthy shitstorm about the last couple of those.

Zombiejack
Jan 16, 2006
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Okay I get that part but why did you deliberatly write the article/s as really unfunny?

Literal Nazi Furry
Jan 27, 2008

Swastika - Helvetica - Ikea
Last night I dreamt of Adolf searching for Anne.
I lay on my back
standing alone in the corner watching the girls dance.

I'm on crystal meth.
I piss in my pants.

bring back weekend web instead of this

Literal Nazi Furry fucked around with this message at 14:54 on Jul 8, 2020

One More Fat Nerd
Apr 13, 2007
no neckbeard, though.



Nap Ghost

kolby posted:

phiz, you have this self-importance about you that i haven't seen in a long time. you're a really bad writer and a worse person and no one cares about you. please just self ban and come back on a fresh account where no one knows who you are.

Yeah i used to think phiz was gimmickposting, now pretty sure they're just a full narcissist, which is real gross and sad. Please do the self-ban as above but also don't come back, and not just cause making a new acct would give lowtax money.

ho fan
Oct 6, 2014



how does it feel to be a worse writer than the really weird movie review people that wrote 10000 words about airplane genitals in childrenís movies

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Daikloktos
Jan 1, 2020


He was better than President Baby. The movie reviews were quietly bad and might even still be posting to this day if they'd had good humor about letting g0m write one, instead of the lead writer quitting on the spot. Baby, though, was a genuinely spontaneous run-off without a particular instigating event.

I feel kind of bad I kept mocking CTS for phoning in his articles the past year(s), because I really shouldn't blame him

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