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Apr 13, 2018

Sul sul fellow weirdos, and welcome to...

The Sims! Namely The Sims 1: Complete Edition to begin with, but we'll end up on The Sims 4.

What's this then?

Starting with our very first sim in the Sims 1, I'll be trying to show all the content in that game that's relevant or interesting, creating a family along the way. Once that's been done, there'll be a delay while I create the family and home in the next game along the line, and then we'll continue on until we reach the Sims 4 and I've exhausted that game.

Might have to put Sim lifespans on short for that one.

Is this going to be a narrative LP?

Not really. I won't ever write dialogue like I'm the Sims themselves, but I'll try and get some storylines going to make it interesting. I won't be playing this TOO silly, as I feel everyone does that, but I'll try and be dramatic... and the Sims is pretty chaotic on its own anyway.

Will I, the reader, get to vote on what will happen?

Almost certainly! I'll be keeping a tight reign on for the most part, but I'll let people vote on a lot of stuff like who to marry, what career (within a range - I'll have to show off the fame system after all!) and what we'll do next generally. People might also be able to vote on how the kids of the family end up, once that's relevant. I'll roleplay accordingly.

What's the update schedule?

Chaos. I'm doing this for fun. Probably will miss Fridays for a while though, as I'm keeping a Hypnospace Outlaw LP going as well. This LP will also be simulcast on LP Beach once I've got that set up too.

Without further adieu...

Let's go!


Update 1 - The Starr is Created
Update 2 - Studio Town(?)
Update 3 - Foot on the Ladder
Update 4 - First, Real Job
Update 5 - Andy Warhol is in The Sims 1

Chinely fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Jul 13, 2020


Apr 13, 2018

This post is getting a little privacy...

Apr 13, 2018

Update 1 - The Starr is Created

First things first, we actually need to create our first sim. As this is our very first one, I'm taking complete directive control over who they are. Call me a tyrant.

Here we've got the basic system. We can give a sim a first name (they'll all have the same family name), change their head and outfit, give them a personality and do a little bio writing. We can also swap between an adult and a child, which is important. Children can't age (with exactly one exception) and adults will never die of old age, so they're almost entirely different types of sims. We'll deal with children later though.

Heads are permanent. We can't change a sims head no matter what, and they'll keep it in every outfit. This means if you give a sim this lovely sun hat, they'll be wearing it in the shower. There aren't too many, so I'll just pick one to go with my sims personality.

Oh, DARLING. Outfits can be changed later on, and have a pretty big variation in body shape and size. You can make an old lady in a big frumpy dress but when she gets in to a bikini, she'll have the same rockin' bod as anyone else.

We'll also give her the perfect personality that gives her... er, my own star sign. She's a complete bitch, but extremely outgoing, active and fun. Perfect for...

Mia Starr. The new and upcoming rising star who'll take the world by storm. There's a pretty big reason my first sim is so geared towards fame, and that's that... every other career sucks! This game had a pretty limited system for work, and pretty much they all involve getting in to a carpool for a few hours and then arriving back at home. The fame career is actually pretty involved and fun, so that's what we're going for.

The spotlight was only meant for one (for now!).

Every sim gets §20,000 to begin with, regardless of how many people you add.

Now... houses in neighbourhood 1 are pretty affordable, so I can try and get somewhere nice. An interesting thing to note is inflation actually happens in the Sims games - I can afford a house in the Sims 1 that would easily be in the §35,000 mark in later Sims games!

We'll start with the crappy starter home, however. Fame needs a decent amount of money to get started!

Just kidding, there's an even crappier starter home down the street! Welcome to the Sims 1, ignore the giant grey void outside the house.

Our house is pretty unforgivably atrocious, but it'll be enough for now. I will give it a few little touches just so Mia isn't in quite as bad a situation.

Guaranteed none of you are unfamiliar with build and buy mode. It's the same in every game, buy to purchase furniture and build to actually remodel the house. What most of you will remember though is the bitchin' build and buy music!

There are also item descriptions that, criminally, got stopped in the later games. They're usually pretty funny.

Just adding a couple of things. Burglar alarms work within a five tile range outside, or protect an entire room inside. Fun facts!

Spacing is incredibly important as, despite the massive gap here, sims in the Sims 1 can't walk anywhere unless there's an entire empty tile for them. This room is far more cramped than it looks.

Here we are, a little bit upgraded for our starlet. All the training she needs, along with some fun and booze facilities.

First things first, she's going to need to know how to cook without setting the entire house on fire.

Pictured: clomping all the way to the bookcase. The sims walk cycle cracks me up.

She'll be here for a while. Let's leave her in peace while she finishes reading.

Nov 28, 2014

God, yes, the fame career in TS1 was the only good one.

7 year old me feels extremely heard.

Also good luck at exploring every feature in four huge games.

Apr 13, 2018

Thinking back I probably won't do EVERY feature, and might just swap with the death of a generation to the next game in order to stop me from going insane. Will probably do all of TS1 though as to be honest it's not that big.

RBA Starblade
Apr 27, 2008

Going Home.

My one and only experience with the Sims was playing 1 as a kid and making the Simpsons. Lisa drowned, Marge left in sorrow, and Homer and Bart throttled each other endlessly with the reaper watching.

It was funny until it wasn't.

Jan 1, 2019

Seeing that starter home and that walk cycle hit me with a thousand tons of nostalgia. The original Sims was limited mechanically, but there's really nothing that can match its charm.

cosmo sex tip
Sep 26, 2005
contains sodium borate, xanthan gum, sucrose stearate, glucose, glucose oxidase & lactoperoxidase, and fragrance.

Jolene posted:

Seeing that starter home and that walk cycle hit me with a thousand tons of nostalgia. The original Sims was limited mechanically, but there's really nothing that can match its charm.

For me it's the "menus", such as they are. Just a blue void filled with comic sans. Spectacular.

The first time in my life I stayed up all night was playing The Sims 1 at a sleepover. My friend had just bought the game and invited us over to play it. The room her computer was in was one of those teeny offices in a bungalow that had just one window and it was one of those small, horizontal ceiling-adjacent ones that looked like it belonged in a basement, and there was no clock in the room other than the one on the computer, which you couldn't see with the game in fullscreen, of course... we didn't even notice how long we had been playing the game until the sun started coming up. Memories

Running Legacies were my favorite thing in Sims 3, but somehow Sims 4 managed to make them unfun... I'm excited to see how you handle the generational aspect moving between games! What a great idea for an LP.

Apr 13, 2018

Update 2 - Studio Town(?)

Well, that took a while! 3 cooking skill. I suppose it's time to deep dive on the skills just because they're fairly interesting!

Unlike later Sims games where every skill is useful, a lot of the Sims 1 skills are... pretty much only for jobs. Later expansions help a BIT but still. Three cooking skill is the classic first thing, as otherwise your Sim will set fire to food. A LOT.

Mechnical skill makes you repair things faster, but I'm just going to phone a repairman. It also affects how quickly you make gnomes and gargoyles, and how good they are. I think there's also a magic show based on mechanical?

Charisma is, as far as I know, kind of useless outside for jobs. Except we're going to be famous so we need it. Hurrah.

Body is again semi-useless, but it will at least make us less crappy when snowboarding. Also we win more fights, maybe??

Logic is also... sort of useless! There's the infamous potion table that is based on logic, and we can do a logical magic show. But that's about it.

And the last one... creativity. The higher this is, the more paintings sell for and the less our piano playing sucks!

Here we are with our initial things. The box is a free magic wand and ingredients that I won't nab just yet, as I'll save the magic stuff right for the end.

There's the newspaper, which lets us find a job. One random job a day in the newspaper, three on the computer. However we don't care about that poo poo, what we want...

Is the star magazine right next to it. Finding an agent is how we start the fame career.

Let's get Mia an agent!

Now the fame career is pretty unique. For one, it looks like this.

There are ten levels, same as any career, except some minor differences. We get promoted after we go to Studio Town and do fame making actions, and we have a star power. Unlike normal careers where you'll need a certain amount of friends to get promoted, all that matters is how FAMOUS our friends are.

It's accumulative, so a single 5 star friend is worth two 2.5 star friends. We've got to schmooze with the rich and famous to get anywhere in this town.

We can now go to Studio Town once a day. If we don't go two days in a row, we'll get less famous. There are no weekends in The Sims 1 so instead you can just safely not show up to work every now and then.

Now on to the main hurdle. Your needy rear end sims. Their needs fall SO fast in The Sims 1 and take so long to go back up.

Especially as Mia is outgoing, which means her social need falls super fast. She'll also get in to hot tubs naked.

She's also a disgusting slob who won't flush the toilet or clean her hands. But you can't say she doesn't have star power!

Now on to our beautiful TV. Mia is outgoing, playful and nasty so she'll love horror, romance and cartoons. Here she is, laughing at a horror show.

Quick tipple before work. She hasn't even started yet and she's already chugging vodka cranberries like they're nothing.

Off we go to get famous!

Welcome to Studio Town, baby! Based on the golden age of Hollywood! Areas are grouped based on what they're about. Golden roof means it's film and TV, black roof means it's music based and a blue roof means FASHION baby. The group in the middle is just a general lot for milling about and getting a spa treatment.

Mia is far too much of a nobody to even get a simple modeling gig, so it's off to the town square for us.

Here we are.

There are three types of sims in Studio Town. NPCs who, as anyone who has played TS1 knows, are basically fancy objects and have no role outside of the one thing they're programmed to do. And then we have Somebodies and Nobodies.

Nobodies have no fame level and will, eventually, take the role of fans once we're famous. Somebodies ARE famous, and can be spotted by their high fashion clothing.

I'll say hello to this dweeb just for somebody to talk to on the phone, but unfortunately...

Oh poo poo, he's famous! Well that leads us on to the... actually cool thing. If somebody is MORE famous than you, all social interactions are replaced with...

Being a sycophant. If they're less famous than you - which shortly everyone will be - you can only act as a distant star towards them. People of the same friend level, or people who are already friends, get a normal interaction wheel. This means until we're famous it's going to be hard to befriend other famous people.

...not impossible, however. Anyway!

Let's dress like we're more important than we are!

There are only three outfits for the new 'High Fashion' category, and is the easiest way to tell if somebody is famous as they'll USUALLY be wearing it. We'll get the first one but wearing it is just too pretentious.

For now!

As it costs a whole §249! For a single outfit!

Also one really cool thing is, as NPCs aren't normal sims at all, they actually went pretty far in giving them unique voices. The cashier here sounds like he has a french accent. Sushi sellers have a japanese one, photographers sound german... It's just a really nice touch!

Now let's do what we were born to do!

Unfortunately, we stink! And using fame objects absolutely tanks your needs!

I tried a few more times, but it looks like we'll need some charisma before even getting the first rung of fame.

We'll be back, Hollywood! We'll be back!!!

Chinely fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Jul 12, 2020

Jan 1, 2019

I never had Superstar as a kid, so I'm really excited to see a sim get famous. Is it true that Drew Carey shows up at some point?

Feb 21, 2005

Wow, the first game looks a great deal more dire than I remember it being.

Acquiring and maintaining friendships in the first game was hard. I don't remember what The Sims 2 did with it, but friends were easier to come by in 3 & 4.

I never had any of the expansions, so my houses were always a bizarre mismatch of furniture. There weren't a great deal of thematic sets to choose from.

Apr 13, 2018

Drew Carey does yeah, but he's from House Party. If you throw a party that is the poo poo, he'll show up and be. There. Superstar has celebrities like Marilyn Monroe and Avril Lavigne but all they really do is stand around and give autographs.

Apr 13, 2018

Update 3 - Foot on the Ladder

Dreaming of fame... they just don't know talent when they see it, Mia!

Waking up fully rested at... eh... 2am. One of the weird things about both TS1 and TS2 is that they snapshot the time of day when you leave to go anywhere else. This unfortunately means you'll leave at 2:21pm with a full energy bar, and return at 2:21pm dead tired and ready to drop.

Not that it really matters for Mia, as she makes her own hours and Studio Town is bustling even at 3am!

On waking up I'll do a routine. I'll show it once but trust me, I'll have to do it a lot.

Mia is extremely messy and so the toilet needs to be cleaned after a single use. I'll uh. I'll leave what she's doing up to your imagination.

Mia showering in her hair wrap/beanie, glasses and lipstick.

One outfit change later and it's time for her two breakfasts. Her cooking skill is too low to make a filling steak, beans and greens.

For the longest time this was the only cooking, but Makin' Magic DID add an actual cooking method. We'll get to that later!

Oh he famous. Let's ring him up for our social need. Sims get social CRIMINALLY slow when talking to people they don't know, but the phone is pretty good.

Sims actually have interests, and it'll choose whether they gain or lose relationship. I'm not sure, but I think nice sims will gain relationship even if you disagree?

Appearance of the paper girl... and as a treat, I found a clip of this:

Right, hilarious horror marathon done. Time to work on some skills... and it's only 9 hours later!

But first, we famous now. Let's get a maid.

Time to talk in the mirror until she's sick of it.

Four hours later, she's got three charisma points. Now it's time to... HIT THE BARS.

Ever the Diva, she spent four hours working and now she's too tired to do anything. Come on Mia, you think fame just comes naturally?!

Oh, I guess she's just going to bed again. I don't have to do this for you, you know, Mia.

Get back on that 2am burn!

Oh for piss sake. Her mood is too low, but what's really tanking it is room. She just KNOWS there are 4 moldy old newspapers in front of her house, and she is NOT working out until they're gone.

Time to drink your breakfast then, Mia.

With the courage given by two vodka tonics, she can now stomach working in the same lot as some newspapers. Such bravery...

That done, it's time for plan B. I said before that all sims not of your fame level don't get proper social interactions, and that's TRUE...

But what if we were talking over some delightful 6am steam n' beans?

Welcome to the newspaper zone, Aidan. You will soon be... my celebrity boyfriend!

He won't speak to me, but he's completely willing to come to my crappy starter home and eat poorly cooked steak. All guests in the Sims 1 arrive RAVENOUS and if you don't feed them within three hours, will promptly leave.

They will then, without fail, take the only good bathroom because sims have a digestive tube as opposed to tract.

Uh, Mia tried to go to the bathroom and he followed her to talk about himself. You're pretty weird Aidan...

Now get out!

To go... talk to that dog I guess?

Quick tipple, and then it's time to get away from this weirdo and off to work.

I don't even know what's going on here.

Oh it loving would be, keeping up traffic. Anyway, let's have a second crack at this and...

We actually have fame now! Sort of! We've got an agent! And we made §10!

It's a start!

Haha, yes, it is me Mia Starr.

Hey, it's a nobody. So we're more famous than this guy. Although even the game acknowledges we aren't famous, and so we deign to talk to him like a human being.

It's tough being this talented.

Time for a celebratory smoothie I think... and then maybe I'll take the spa out for a spin.

Uh-oh. Creepo alert.

Let's get pampered!

Mia it... it's too soon for your first controversy.

Oh I'm tired too, sweetie.

What a great days work! Time to go back home at...

12:17pm. It's a tough life being famous.

Nov 28, 2014

God the flashbacks to Sims 1 needs. You blink and everything’s tanked, and it takes twice as long as in later games to bring them back up.

Part of this is that I think generational play necessitated rebalancing needs so that you could actually finish a career in a Sims’s lifetime and well as let them do all the things expansions added.

Nevertheless I. Don’t miss Sims 1 needs. Or how much game object tank them.

Apr 13, 2018

Update 4 - First, Real Job

If you're not waking up at 8pm, are you really living?

Fun TS1 fact, the maid will clean the toilet but she won't flush it.

Hey, famous weirdo, want to come over at 10:30pm for some steak and beans?

In fairness, it's highly likely he's being sarcastic.

I'll be right there!

Jeez, your cooking isn't that bad Mia.

And your mood isn't even that bad! Sims are so melodramatic. Although she could be crying about having to talk to Aidan.

Midnight steak n meet.

And then the sink breaks. That carpet is never going to be dry again.

And here's the other way. You can TRY to befriend sims you can't talk to normally by watching TV and eating with them. Or talking on the phone.

It's slow going though. Now, someone mentioned that it's WORK to keep friends in TS1. And there's a hidden reason for that! If you're currently on the lot with a sim, your friendship will decay faster but you'll gain more 'lifetime' friendship, the lower bar.

Somebodies and nobodies will show up on Studio Town lots all the time. We need to keep famous friends.

The things you do for the spotlight...

We can also give this dweeb an autograph. Hilarious. Annoyingly though, Mia has decided she doesn't want any more fun and so will refuse to watch TV and talk with him.

So we're going to ignore him.

Come on Aidan, it's only 3am.

Let's get that creativity up for work.

First things first, I'm not going to repair that sink. Also because of the puddles, our 'room' score for the house is now low enough that I can hear ambient fly noises. It's not at all irritating! Fly swarms might also start spawning if it gets any worse.

Never mind, they're here. Apparently Mia has been storing food in bed.

We're also calling people just to talk because, despite spending hours talking to Aidan last night, her social need has BARELY improved. Unfortunately she has a bad conversation and so immediately hangs up.

And then this happens. After 1-2 calls, people will start telling you to just gently caress off. Even if you're ringing other people. Gameplay! It only lasts a few hours though.

Uh-oh, bills. Bills arrive every 3 days no matter what. They'll slowly change colour the longer you don't pay them, before exploding and calling the repoman.

You don't get any warnings like later games, so uh. Make sure to check the mailbox.

Anyway! With that creativity point, we now meet all the criteria to get more famous. We just need to work.

And we'll be doing that by stopping off at the fashion district.

Featuring... a boutique!

Another part of the boutique!

The classic spa/boutique combination!

A catwalk!

Strut your stuff, Mia!

Yeah, we need to be actually quite famous before making it as a supermodel.

What we're actually here for is some photo modeling.

There's also a nice little cafeteria up top...

With, for some strange reason, an aquatic playhouse. Yes we can get one of these for our inevitable starlet mansion.

So, doing these jobs requires a little minigame.



Whoops! She's actually not famous enough for modeling yet either. I need to do the advert.

Here we go.

Oh come on, she wears this anyway!

So. Mia will talk to the director/fashion designer/photographer/sound technician, who will say what they want. Except it's in Simlish so we have no way of knowing that! HOWEVER, unlike the little minigame we will have to eventually play, this one is just a fail/succeed.

If you have an X through your sims head, you failed that take. If it's fine, you didn't. Here we have Mia successfully selling a copy of... hold on.

This game.

Some congratulations...

And §60! Six times what we made in tips doing a dramatic reading.

And our needs didn't even fall that much. Fun and social were this bad going in.

This will quickly change. Also of note is the camera operator has the same voice as several of the sims in The Urbz GBA. Namely Crystal. Just something I noticed while playing.

Oh, well, you can always have a second go. Also the hawaiian music that plays goes wonky when your sim is messing it up.

It's just not happening with this mood. Celebrity sims can have a career destroying breakdown if they get stressed enough, but luckily Mia is just going to be stroppy with me.

Yeah, there we go. She completely refuses now.

Honestly, celebrities are so hard to work with.

Mia that... that's not how you use a road.

Back home and... you know... with a mood like this, she seriously needs some cheering up.

Here you go Mia. This cheerful picture will help.

And it's so beautiful!

Jeez. You had one bad day on set that lasted with you getting insulted for seven hours. Drama queen.

Still, you can dream it all better. Sweet dreams, Mia.

Jun 20, 2008

Whoa, a cameo appearance by Esteban!

Nov 28, 2014

And that’s the reason I downloaded hacked coffee makers that would raise all of a Sim’s motives back in the day.

Apr 13, 2018

Update 5 - Andy Warhol is in The Sims 1

As you've probably guessed, there was a reason I bought an ugly clown painting. And it's for probably the most infamous NPC, Sunny the Tragic Clown!

Most people probably experienced him by playing one of the default families. Say...

The Goths?

Mortimer, Bella and Cassandra. In the original Sims Livin' Large, they were the coolest looking house to go to after the tutorial. And, as we've established, Sims in the Sims 1 have moods that absolutely TANK. Why is this important?

The devs make them start with the Tragic Clown in their bathroom.

Sunny has a fair few methods of talking to him, except he's just as depressed as you.

For one, his loud crying will constantly wake you up.

Anything you do to cheer him up will fail, and he won't leave if you ask him.

There is however, a service that'll catch the clown and remove him. Cheering up will also remove him and so will setting fire to his painting.

Insulting him actually provides a relationship increase, although we don't actually have one with him as he's an NPC.

We can also take out some frustration on the tragic loser.

He'll also go cry at his painting for... reasons.

And do tricks which tragically fail.

Well, this is an extremely TS1 picture. My uncleaned toilet (after one use!) was atrociously dirty enough to cause roaches to spawn.

Come on over, there's a clown!

drat. Despite what it looks like, I tried to do the 'Star Kiss' greeting which is the classic mwah mwah on both cheeks. But you have to be famous to get away with something so brazenly French.

7pm at night and we're now cheerful enough for the clown to leave. He hops in to a hole and pisses off. We'll see the clown catchers in action next time we come back from Studio Town in a horrific mood.

This dickhead will non-stop try and brag to me.

He also likes us a lot less than we like him. You both need to be at 50 for a friendship to form.

Stop! Trying! To! Brag! To! Me!

Or do, that's cool too.

At least we're now friends with this absolute dingus.

Yeah baby! He's pretty famous. Give us that star power.

And then we block the toilet. I'm rushing through most of the day to day needs stuff because you really don't need to see it.

This is what happens when you never flush, I suppose.

Now that we're officially somebody as we've made out first friend, it's time to go in High Farshion.

Haha, hello Mr. Warhol, yes, it's me Mia Starr.

It's just so different when somebody famous tells you that you're talentless and worthless.

Other famous sims will also use fame objects, which is a bit of an issue when there's only one and they KEEP HOGGING IT. Andy Warhol being the photographer usually means you aren't going to get anywhere near it. I'm not sure why literally everyone else is in this room too.

I am actually succeeding here, but this room is SO full of people that I can't get a good gif.

Whatever! We've sold enough copies of The Sims: Superstar that we can now move on to the next part: recording jingles about The Sims: Superstar.

Except with our flabby, out of shape body we'll never be recognized in the... er... sound recording booth. Studio Town is rough.

Time for some celebratory fun.

Your sim kind of does nothing for hours, but they find it fun as hell. It's got a pretty indepth airlock animation though.

Celebrity sims REALLY, REALLY want you to listen about them. You'd never catch Mia doing that.

Until she's more famous, anyway.

Cheer up Mia, you actually have a whole star now! You're a starr, baby!

Jan 1, 2019

I never triggered the Tragic Clown as a kid, or at least I don't remember that I did. That's funny that the devs subtly added his painting to one of the premades though.

Nov 4, 2009

Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.

I don't remember ever getting him to appear either. Sims 1 had some great NPC's, and thankfully that's a feature they've kept up pretty well throughout the entire series. I seem to recall Hot Date added some annoying NPC who would show up during dates and try to serenade your date (poorly). He was pretty funny. I think they even had multiple different "date-ruiner" NPC's that could appear in 'Nightlife' (at least I think that's the name of the equivalent expansion) in Sims 2.

Aug 7, 2009

Jolene posted:

I never triggered the Tragic Clown as a kid, or at least I don't remember that I did. That's funny that the devs subtly added his painting to one of the premades though.

The clown actually spawning was added by the first expansion, Living Large, so maybe you just never got that one?

Nov 6, 2012

There was another family who started off with the clown, a couple from neighbourhood 2 or 3 who lived in a bungalow. I was a stupid kid so never realised that the portrait was the problem, I didn't know how to get rid of the clown and would repeatedly kill that family out of frustration.
Occasionally I'll think that I'll go back to playing one of the older games until I remember the pathfinding. Superstar looks really fun though, I think the latest Sims 1 expansion I got was "On Holiday".

Mar 17, 2007

I'm loving this and feeling so much nostalgia right now. I really liked how outdoor burglar alarms could be placed in the corner of your lot where the burglars spawned so they would instantly get arrested while still being on the sidewalk and outside of your property. Amazing how it knew which sim was a burglar and who wasn't.

Do garbagesims come and empty your garbage bin every few days or am I remembering wrong?

Oh and technically this is from a later game in the series but they got real bands to sing music in simlish for the radio stations. Like this version of Lacuna Coil - Kill The Light.


Apr 13, 2018

I'll have a look around for the other Tragic Clown picture, I only experienced the Goth one and... it was a journey. I don't think I ever managed to get a handle on the Sims 1 needs as a kid, and then we got Superstar and my PC just couldn't handle it and would start refusing to load.

Also I'm afraid you are mistaken! I don't think garbage sims are in any of the games - lot garbage bins are just bottomless pits.

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