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hhhat
Apr 29, 2008


Hey

So there's no thread or forum for parents, aren't most of us 40 now

Anyway I dont even know where to put this, but I want a thread for 'should my kid have this app' because hell if I know anymore

Snapchat is a no, right? It's only for dick pics AFAIK

Can teenagers even use it without pointing it at some dicks

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remigious
May 13, 2009

Destruction comes inevitably


Hell Gem

There is a parenting thread in ask/tell.

Classon Ave. Robot
Oct 7, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 10 hours!


If your kid has a smartphone then there's nothing stopping them from sending nudes either way, snapchat doesn't make it any different.

Famethrowa
Oct 5, 2012



Classon Ave. Robot posted:

If your kid has a smartphone then there's nothing stopping them from sending nudes either way, snapchat doesn't make it any different.

and, if anything, snapchat makes it harder for nudes to be saved and disseminated.

I think talking to them honestly about what you want them to be careful about would be far better then a blanket ban.

Saint Drogo
Dec 26, 2011



the likes of snapchat and tiktok are full of dodgy poo poo and predators because they're integral parts of socializing for kids now. i guess she'll be safer, but it's in a "ban my kid from sports" kind of way.

Oxphocker
Aug 17, 2005

PLEASE DO NOT BACKSEAT MODERATE


As an educator I can only say that for kids and teens, all social media is generally more of a negative than a positive. It's been linked to increases in mental health issues and generally doesn't convey much in the way of benefits. I wouldn't recommend it until at least mid high school or later.

hhhat
Apr 29, 2008


Oxphocker posted:

As an educator I can only say that for kids and teens, all social media is generally more of a negative than a positive. It's been linked to increases in mental health issues and generally doesn't convey much in the way of benefits. I wouldn't recommend it until at least mid high school or later.

I pretty much agree entirely with that

Saint Drogo posted:

the likes of snapchat and tiktok are full of dodgy poo poo and predators because they're integral parts of socializing for kids now. i guess she'll be safer, but it's in a "ban my kid from sports" kind of way.

yeah I feel you

Famethrowa posted:

and, if anything, snapchat makes it harder for nudes to be saved and disseminated.

I think talking to them honestly about what you want them to be careful about would be far better then a blanket ban.

Hmmmm yeah ok that's a point

remigious posted:

There is a parenting thread in ask/tell.

Thanks gonna go find it!

Classon Ave. Robot posted:

If your kid has a smartphone then there's nothing stopping them from sending nudes either way, snapchat doesn't make it any different.

Ultimately you're right but I don't think I should make it easy

biracial bear for uncut
Jun 9, 2009

ask me about being the most obnoxious person of all time

No teenager should ever have access to social media.

Actually nobody should use social media, it is a blight on society.

hhhat
Apr 29, 2008


biracial bear for uncut posted:

No teenager should ever have access to social media.

Actually nobody should use social media, it is a blight on society.

solid

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007



If you haven't done this already, now is a good time to have a discussion with her about being safe online. A teenager with a smart phone is going to do what they want to anyway so they may as well be smart about it and not do anything that could hurt them.

Putty
Mar 21, 2013


All these apps take so much data from us that China probably knows more about kids than their parents nowadays.

uguu
Mar 9, 2014



Putty posted:

All these apps take so much data from us that China probably knows more about kids than their parents nowadays.

They're all american spy apps, except for toktok.

Cached Money
Apr 11, 2010

respect the game and the game will respect you back


Snapchat is one of the few social media apps that is still fun, don't make your kid be the dork that has their parents ban anything fun.

hhhat
Apr 29, 2008


Cached Money posted:

Snapchat is one of the few social media apps that is still fun, don't make your kid be the dork that has their parents ban anything fun.

i don't ban lots of fun things

you got kids there?

Cached Money
Apr 11, 2010

respect the game and the game will respect you back


hhhat posted:

i don't ban lots of fun things

you got kids there?

I don't have kids, no. But I was the kid who wasn't allowed to do or have anything when I was a child myself and it sucked rear end and just made my life generally worse.

mkay0
Nov 7, 2003

I crawled the earth, but now I'm higher
2010, watch it go to fire


Picking and choosing which social media apps are ok and which arenít is kind of a fools errand, imo. Going to war with a teen to keep them off the app all their friends use because is not a good use of anyoneís time. The reputation of an app worldwide means nearly both anyway when itís 99.9 percent used for the kids chatting with each other.

The kid is mature enough for a smart phone, or they arenít. Prepare them for Being Online as much as you can, then you have to let go to a certain extent.

Bug Squash
Mar 18, 2009


YOU CAN STOMP US!

YOU CAN SQUASH US!

BUT YOU'LL NEVER EVER STOP US!


It's dipshits our age that our emptying our wallets at egirls, the kids usually have a better grasp on it.

I'd have a chat about catfishing, predators and scams though. Make sure she knows to be aware and she'll be fine.

hhhat
Apr 29, 2008


Cached Money posted:

I don't have kids, no. But I was the kid who wasn't allowed to do or have anything when I was a child myself and it sucked rear end and just made my life generally worse.

yeah okay but theres a difference between no you cant snapchat and no you cant do anything


mkay0 posted:

Picking and choosing which social media apps are ok and which aren’t is kind of a fools errand, imo. Going to war with a teen to keep them off the app all their friends use because is not a good use of anyone’s time. The reputation of an app worldwide means nearly both anyway when it’s 99.9 percent used for the kids chatting with each other.

The kid is mature enough for a smart phone, or they aren’t. Prepare them for Being Online as much as you can, then you have to let go to a certain extent.

we aren't at war, they just asked if i'd consider it. the kid's a good kid
And no, you can be mature enough for a smart phone, but not mature enough to use every app. If you also don't have kids you should know lots of middle schoolers do have them, because they're exceptionally useful tools. You can even use them for not sending nudes to other people

Oxphocker
Aug 17, 2005

PLEASE DO NOT BACKSEAT MODERATE


Tell that to the kid I had to deal with that literally put his phone down his pants and said come get it, when he was asked to put it away in class because he was sitting on his phone instead of getting his work done..
I wish I could say that was an isolated incident, but it really isn't.

It's the reason I say that most under 15 year old kids don't need a smartphone in general. It's not healthy from a developmental standpoint, hinders learning in person social skills, and generally boils down to parental laziness/convenience. I've literally had parents argue to me that they need to get a hold of their kid at any point of the day regardless of disruption to the classroom, despite us having an office phone that they can call and we can get the student if it's something important...and we wonder where the kids get it from..... yeeeah..

skooma512
Feb 8, 2012

You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.


Nobody I know uses snapchat anymore. We all just kind of stopped a couple years ago. I'm 30 so give or take 4 years for my age wave. It was weird.




Anyway

Oxphocker posted:

Tell that to the kid I had to deal with that literally put his phone down his pants and said come get it, when he was asked to put it away in class because he was sitting on his phone instead of getting his work done..
I wish I could say that was an isolated incident, but it really isn't.

It's the reason I say that most under 15 year old kids don't need a smartphone in general. It's not healthy from a developmental standpoint, hinders learning in person social skills, and generally boils down to parental laziness/convenience. I've literally had parents argue to me that they need to get a hold of their kid at any point of the day regardless of disruption to the classroom, despite us having an office phone that they can call and we can get the student if it's something important...and we wonder where the kids get it from..... yeeeah..

I totally get the developmental angle. The internet was a mistake and I am hopeless addicted lol. I would not wish this on any child. I had just a PC with no internet until like 2000, no forums till 2003, no DSL till 2005. I think it can be a bit of a crutch for an introvert like me. Introversion became more and more comfortable and coping mechanisms like the somethingawful dot com boards in lieu of the company of others (when such a thing was possible).


You'll have to monitor the balance. If your kid isn't flourishing socially, maybe try to encourage em? My parents didn't like having people around so I don't deal well with new people I guess.

Saint Drogo
Dec 26, 2011



internet socializing doesn't mean what it did to baby goons, now exclusion from social networking is just isolation from real life friends. obviously no parent should be prioritizing popularity over safety, but you gotta be aware the kid banned from snapchat is the awkward goon now.

maybe it's godawful but kids need these skills, owning a smartphone and interacting on the internet sensibly ain't optional in the real world. not snapchatting can legitimately hold your career back now lol. maybe you can shield them till mid teens, and hope lack of experience doesn't just make them more vulnerable/stupid.

Classon Ave. Robot
Oct 7, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 10 hours!


Yeah i know it sounds normal to old people that your kid shouldn't be doing whatever scary thing you heard about on the news, but you're essentially making them into the biggest loving loser in school when you try to start managing their social life as if you had any idea how a teenager actually lives or exists. If you don't have the balls to have an open and honest discussion with them rather than making up stupid rules that they won't respect then you shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill



galaxy brain opinions itt

Classon Ave. Robot
Oct 7, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 10 hours!


Yeah treating a teenager like a human being with agency and their own functioning brain is pretty hosed up and counter-intuitive I guess lol

Crosswell
Jun 7, 2007
Lying in a Bombay alley

So if I talk to my teenager really smartly and treat them like a human being with agency you think itíd be ok to give them a gun, or unlimited access to credit?

There can be nuance in decision-making and my childís popularity will survive limited access to media if they are work on making up for it in other ways. Not my top priority.

Classon Ave. Robot
Oct 7, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 10 hours!


lmao yeah that's a real comparison that a person actually just said for real.

They've already got a smart phone so the decision has been made, the scary news articles about Snapchat shouldn't be your primary motivation in making parenting decisions.

Farg
Nov 19, 2013


Crosswell posted:

So if I talk to my teenager really smartly and treat them like a human being with agency you think itíd be ok to give them a gun, or unlimited access to credit?

There can be nuance in decision-making and my childís popularity will survive limited access to media if they are work on making up for it in other ways. Not my top priority.

not if your child is a huge fuckin' dweeb, which if they take after you they probably are!!!!

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax


Crosswell posted:

So if I talk to my teenager really smartly and treat them like a human being with agency you think itíd be ok to give them a gun, or unlimited access to credit?

There can be nuance in decision-making and my childís popularity will survive limited access to media if they are work on making up for it in other ways. Not my top priority.

Lol. The heck is this post??? Your teenage kid won't ruin their life over having a Snapchat account.

DickParasite
Dec 2, 2004



Slippery Tilde

Crosswell posted:


There can be nuance in decision-making and my child’s popularity will survive limited access to media if they are work on making up for it in other ways. Not my top priority.

Lmao no goon's kid will ever be popular. I can't wait till we hear about Printer Carrying Goon: The Next Generation.

Crosswell
Jun 7, 2007
Lying in a Bombay alley

Farg posted:

not if your child is a huge fuckin' dweeb, which if they take after you they probably are!!!!

I donít know you and you donít know me. I was popular in high school and I put far too much importance on it. I was just in awe that people argued having an app was an important part of a kids popularity.

Saint Drogo
Dec 26, 2011



your kid's social existence is not going to be defined by things you find sensible, or understand. even if your theorychild has minimaxed CHR enough to soak it.

Crosswell posted:

I was just in awe that people argued having an app was an important part of a kids popularity.
if this inspires awe, you badly need to catch up to 2010.

Famethrowa
Oct 5, 2012



It's interesting to slowly watch some goons become social media luddites like their parents. The same people who pioneered bbs and IRC act like spooked apes about Twitter, Snapchat and Reddit

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill



I think a valid concern is less that your kid is gonna do something stupid on social media and more like an online presence opens a vulnerable young person up to any number of potential threats. I think it's perfectly understandable to want to protect your child for as long as possible.

Classon Ave. Robot
Oct 7, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 10 hours!


It may be understandable but that doesn't make it the right thing to do. Helicopter parents use that same justification for all sorts of infantilizing poo poo that ends up producing a useless person who can't do anything themselves.

I guess that's fine if you come from a wealthy family and everything you want is always going to be handed to you but for the rest of us it's a bad way to treat someone that you have near total legal power over.

Crosswell
Jun 7, 2007
Lying in a Bombay alley

Quit putting words in my mouth. I am not scared of an app. I should have been clearer. I donít think itíll sabotage anything to not send a kid to school with a phone. Iíll most likely be raising a kid soon and if phones are still a thing theyíll be staying at home. Iím sorry if I gave another impression. I donít think itís an unreasonable stance.

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010


Since COVID has essentially shut down in-person socializing, social media has been a godsend for my 13-year-old. He gets to keep in touch with his neighborhood and school friends, and has ďmetď new friends through them. Iíve talked to him extensively about potential trouble that he could get into online, illustrated with real-world examples. I monitor his usage once in a while, and so far, I have not found any promotion of sex, drugs, or Nazism/incel/alt-rightism. (I *wish* there would be some promotion of rock n roll, but thatís ďBoomer MusicĒ to him and his friends ...)

So far, this strategy seems to be working Ė teenagers being idiotic sacks of hormones, though, I would not be surprised if there is some kind of trouble eventually Ė but that still doesnít outweigh the benefits of social media for adolescents, especially during the current zombie apocalypse, IMO.

Farg
Nov 19, 2013


Crosswell posted:

I donít know you and you donít know me. I was popular in high school and I put far too much importance on it. I was just in awe that people argued having an app was an important part of a kids popularity.

doubt you were Clarence, you friggin dweeb. we all laughed at you in gym class

Crosswell
Jun 7, 2007
Lying in a Bombay alley

Youíve obviously hugely mistaken me for someone else and are weirding me out in general so shut the gently caress up x3.

Crosswell
Jun 7, 2007
Lying in a Bombay alley

[quote=""Chicken Butt" post="]
So far, this strategy seems to be working Ė teenagers being idiotic sacks of hormones, though, I would not be surprised if there is some kind of trouble eventually Ė but that still doesnít outweigh the benefits of social media for adolescents, especially during the current zombie apocalypse, IMO.
[/quote]

My theory kid could do whatever they want at home on their phone within reason. Iím just following the advice of teachersó the only adults allowed to be in the school and actually see what goes onó that phones are bad for brain development in a classroom learning environment and defending the OPs position that itís reasonable to think about these things.

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DickParasite
Dec 2, 2004



Slippery Tilde

ITT people in glass houses throwing smart phones

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