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Jesus was a broke homeless beggar who had other homeless beggars following him around for a few years. After committing too many crimes and causing property damage at the temple. The Romans had enough and had him crucified along with some petty thieves.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:04 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 02:56 |
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R.L. Stine posted:joseph was mad they didn't get diapers or toys and he posted about it on r/amitheasshole can you even imagine being this dude, even with the whole story and everything? let's assume there's a grain of truth to all of that story. so we've been talking about this guy for 2000 years. just this guy, in passing. "also, Joseph was there." cucked by god himself. jesus christ.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:09 |
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Milo and POTUS posted:You want to kill evangelical christianity in america once and for all, prove beyond any shadow of a doubt Jesus wasn't white
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:12 |
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Jesus was a grifter who conned suckers out of their temple dues and blew it on wine and women. The whole story is a retcon by people who wanted to keep the grift going after the romans put an end to it.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:30 |
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Mary Magdalene was the Ghislaine Maxwell to Jesus's Jeffrey Epstein
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:43 |
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Jesus (12:45 AM) : I'm going to bust, I will bust, it's inevitable that I will bust, Judas? Judas (12:45 AM) : Is that true? Is it true? John (12:46 AM) : Mmmm.... Jesus (12:46 AM) : Yes, absolutely it is. Judas (12:46 AM) : Odd, very hard to believe, odd. John (12:46 AM) : Yes, odd, very odd indeed. (Pause) Jesus (12:47 AM) : Is it so odd, really? Thaddeus (12:47 AM) : It is quite odd. I think. Jesus (12:48 AM) : Mmm.... odd.... (Silence, Pause) Jesus (12:50 AM) : Is it quite so odd? To bust. Inevitably? Peter (12:51 AM) : I think it is quite odd for some people, but I can understand, it is not so terribly odd to me. Jesus (12:51 AM) : I would think so, that you wouldn't find it so odd. I would think that of you. Judas (12:52 AM) : But you would think of me that I would find it odd, surely that I would find it odd? Jesus (12:52 AM) : I'm not so sure, Judas. I would have thought before... not for sure, I would have thought you would have gone either way, but now... (Pause) Jesus (12:53 AM) : ...now... I certainly know for sure, now, that you would find it odd. I did not know before. Judas (12:54 AM) [Internal Thoughts] : He will surely pay for thinking that I would find it odd, any chance of it, before he knew for certain. I will make sure of it. Lil Swamp Booger Baby fucked around with this message at 05:46 on Jul 8, 2020 |
# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:44 |
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Milo and POTUS posted:You want to kill evangelical christianity in america once and for all, prove beyond any shadow of a doubt Jesus wasn't white One thing that all the conservative fundamentalist Christians seem to be unaware of is the fact that not one single person mentioned in the bible could be considered their definition of a "White Person."
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:51 |
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I'm the lady at church singing with her hand up in the air and her eyes closed.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:53 |
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yes Jesus, praise you Jesus
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 05:55 |
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A while back some mormons or whatever the gently caress approached my wife as she was walking on an empty street at 11.30 pm. Two fellas who just thought it would be a good idea to hassle a lady in the dark. Not scary at all. These are the guys Jesus sends. gently caress you Jesus.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 06:17 |
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Icochet posted:A while back some mormons or whatever the gently caress approached my wife as she was walking on an empty street at 11.30 pm. Two fellas who just thought it would be a good idea to hassle a lady in the dark. Not scary at all. Just trying to mug the christ into the ladies.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 06:43 |
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Tbf i think she could beat up some loving mormons
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 06:56 |
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 07:02 |
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Genesplicer posted:One thing that all the conservative fundamentalist Christians seem to be unaware of is the fact that not one single person mentioned in the bible could be considered their definition of a "White Person." Well, maybe Augustus. He'd probably count. Barely.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 07:21 |
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Jesus was Way cool. He baked delicious cakes.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 07:41 |
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Genesplicer posted:One thing that all the conservative fundamentalist Christians seem to be unaware of is the fact that not one single person mentioned in the bible could be considered their definition of a "White Person." Well the Galatians were a gaulish people originally from what is now the south of France. But are you telling me there are segments of American society that don't consider Italians to be white?
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 07:52 |
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Pinche Rudo posted:Did Jesus eat rear end? "A man is not defiled by what enters his mouth, but by what comes out of it.”
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 07:58 |
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Always thought it was weird how Jesus's parents named him after something people commonly yell out when they stub their toe or get tricked into clicking a link to furry porn
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 08:25 |
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Was jesus a bat?
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 08:57 |
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I love it when people get mad at this, and when people support it, because it's literally just some random guy's sculpt of some face of a quasi-persian looking guy. People go "This is what Jesus really looked like!!" when in actuality Jesus probably never existed and if he did, he could have looked like anybody for all we know.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 09:18 |
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This is why buddhism describes the buddhas appearance in exhuasting detail
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 09:23 |
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Weka posted:Well the Galatians were a gaulish people originally from what is now the south of France. Yes
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 09:47 |
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Internetjack posted:What is the point of posting "Jesus" poo poo without any context? Because I saw the image and as a person who grew up Christian, it vibes with me and I feel like it's an important distinction to make.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 10:37 |
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Jesus was a ginger, which is why the Holy Spirit could enter him ( he had no soul) source: the Quran
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 11:05 |
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Jesus was a broke homeless beggar who had other homeless beggars following him around for a few years. After committing too many crimes and causing property damage at the temple. The Romans had enough and had him crucified along with some petty thieves. Not disputing this at all. However, you ever met a homeless dude with a publicist/marketing team that could spin "homeless crime man" into "messiah"? Me either. So maybe he wasn't the son of God, but someone was trying to get his name on that map. I bet it was George Soros.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 11:34 |
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As was already pointed out, there were a lot of preacher dudes running around that area 2000 years ago and we have found records of a bunch of them because there were plenty of people running around documenting poo poo too. Weird though how none of them documented this Jesus guy but they got the no one crazies Weird Also wasn't the first book of the Bible written in the style of allegorical fiction that was popular at that time, which both the popularity and prose we have records of
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 11:42 |
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I take most of the bible with a grain of salt. I don't consider it to be more than allegorical and/or metaphor, but I don't think that there is no wisdom to be found there.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 11:49 |
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I've always kind of wondered what happened to the three wise men (magi, kings, whatever) after they gave baby jesus the stuff. Did they hang around for a few days? Did Joseph and Mary have to give subtle hints they should maybe go home? And how come jesus had to prove himself years later? Weren't there a bunch of signs upon his birth like angels signing and poo poo because "the savior [of mankind] has been born"? It don't add up, I tells ya.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 12:16 |
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Blasphemers! This is what Jesus truly looked like:
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 12:33 |
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Colonel Cancer posted:Blasphemers! This is what Jesus truly looked like: Exactly Jesus was like a ripped Zenyatta but he only had one power ball or whatever and it was the earth
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 13:03 |
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got the answer to my question in the first page, thanks op
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 13:03 |
The original dead gay son.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 13:11 |
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Alan 00X posted:literally wrong. Jesus is a historical figure even if you don't believe in his Divinity At one point I noticed Wikipedia is really into Historical Jesus. It will claim Jesus is absolutely real, and attempt to make it look like an obvious fact by using a lot of phrases like "almost all scholars believe...". It actually had me fooled for a while because it successfully gave me the impression that it's an actual consensus among historians. Instead, they all cite "Bible scholars" who are clearly not looking for any historical truths and are just trying to prove their religion is real.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 13:32 |
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What Mohammed was:
2. Slave Owner 3. Pedophile What Mohammed wasn't:
Sources Sadism
Watt, W. Montgomery (1 July 1952). "The Condemnation of the Jews of Banu Qurayzah". The Muslim World. 42 (3): 160–71 Rahman al-Mubarakpuri, Saifur (2005), The Sealed Nectar, Darussalam Publications, pp. 201–05 Sunan Abu Dawud, 14:2665 Sunan Abu Dawood, 38:4390 Sahih al-Bukhari, 4:52:280
Levy, Reuben (2000). "Slavery in Islam". The Social Structure of Islam. NY: Routledge. pp. 73–90. Islam and Slavery". State University of New York at Oswego. Archived from the original on 30 September 2018. "Slavery in Islam". BBC. 7 September 2009. Archived from the original on 6 October 2018.
Sahih al-Bukhari, 5:58:236 Sahih al-Bukhari, 7:62:64 Sahih al-Bukhari, 7:62:65 Sahih al-Bukhari, 7:62:88 Sahih Muslim, 8:3309 Sahih Muslim, 8:3310 Sahih Muslim, 8:3311 Sunan Abu Dawood, 41:4915 Ophelia Benson; Jeremy Stangroom (2009). Does God Hate Women?. Bloomsbury Publishing. pp. 38–40
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 13:54 |
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Hello Sailor posted:I'm not sure you know what the scholarly arguments for a historical Jesus are, if that's your takeaway. Under the methods of historical criticism, you don't just entirely reject a document because the writer was biased or because it contains fanciful elements. There was probably some guy back then who did some stuff = Jesus was real, got it.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 13:58 |
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*splays hand over Israel/Jordan map* You see in approximate a century plus worth of any given time ever, there was surprisingly some uprising in this area. Therefor
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 14:41 |
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Jesus built my hotrod
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 14:42 |
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Genesplicer posted:One thing that all the conservative fundamentalist Christians seem to be unaware of is the fact that not one single person mentioned in the bible could be considered their definition of a "White Person." Pontius Pilate was Italian and killed jesus but I couldn't name another.
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 14:51 |
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DickParasite posted:Pontius Pilate was Italian and killed jesus but I couldn't name another. He also backed Sejanus, initially, which is interesting, if you're into history. It's something that apparently was used (I would guess almost certainly without evidence) to suggest that this was used against him by Jewish leaders as leverage to convince him to crucify Jesus. In otherwords, he backed Sejanus because apparently Sejanus intervened on his behalf to make him governor of Judea (idk why). However, later on when Sejanus' own, larger power grab failed, Jewish leaders in his area of control realized that Pilot had thrown his chips in with the failed coup and said "We can make this worse for you unless you play ball and give us jesus". It's just that over time, like, nobody except Roman history nerds remembers who Sejanus was or why that was interesting. e: if anyone is interested Sejanus is a straight stone cold OG Soap Opera bad guy. Long term ties to the purple, decades long plots against the family, poisons, drownings children, fist fights with the emperors son in public, seducing said emperors son's wife AFTER THAT FISTFIGHT. Getting said seduced wife to poison said emperor's son after that... the man was straight fuckin baller rear end evil. and he owned This thread is now about Sejanus and Jesus together Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Jul 8, 2020 |
# ? Jul 8, 2020 15:03 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 02:56 |
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Big Beef City posted:He also backed Sejanus, initially, which is interesting, if you're into history. That's cool I'm no history buff so I never heard of Sejanus. I also have a notion that the gospels had to be reinterpreted after the fall of Jerusalem and the destruction of the second temple, and that the expression "take no thought for the morrow" only makes sense in a truly desperate scenario. I'm sure these aren't new ideas. Do you (or anyone) have any book suggestions that put the new testament era into the broader history of that era? E: just saw your edit that sounds rad as hell
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# ? Jul 8, 2020 15:14 |