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AHH F/UGH posted:I love it when people get mad at this, and when people support it, because it's literally just some random guy's sculpt of some face of a quasi-persian looking guy. People go "This is what Jesus really looked like!!" when in actuality Jesus probably never existed and if he did, he could have looked like anybody for all we know. He didn't exist but even fictional brainworms jesus can't be white
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Jul 8, 2020 15:32
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DickParasite posted:That's cool I'm no history buff so I never heard of Sejanus. To be fair, the gospels themselves were either written contemporaneously with the fall or Jerusalem or afterwards. It is Paul and some of the earlier writings that didn't get into the Bible like the Gospel of Thomas that are the primary evidence of earlier ideas about Jesus. And not all the letters attributed to Paul were written by Paul. It's a messy situation. Still, enough was written about Jesus within 10 -15 years of his supposed death that you would think if he didn't exist at all someone would have written down that objection. It isn't proof, but it is more evidence that Jesus existed than remains extant for almost any other member of his social class from that time period. As for Jesus' actual teachings, it is very debatable how much actually came down from him. The Gospel of Thomas does have some of the same sayings and anecdotes that are in Mark , Matthew and Luke, but it also has loads of other sayings that are completely at odds with how Jesus is portrayed in the official Gospels. As he appears in the Gospels, Jesus seems to actually hold the positions of a relatively typical Pharisee, his primary revolutionary act was in annoying the temple elders who were held in contempt by most Pharisees of the day. But the idea that there was a relatively typical Pharisee who was executed for openly opposing the elders and Sadducees isn't a particularly unlikely story. So is it possible that Jesus never existed? Sure. But it is far more likely that a bunch of reforming Jews simply took the doctrine of an existing religious martyr and used it to try to challenge the temple hierarchy, and when this failed they tried to spread their ideas to the synagogues in Asia Minor, accidentally beginning to convert Gentiles. Then Paul shows up and decides to make converting Gentiles the goal, and you have a pretty good guess as to how the early church formed.
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Jul 8, 2020 15:41
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Alan 00X posted:How can you follow yourself? Jesus didn't believe in himself, he believed in his father jesus is his father. holy trinity for fucks sake
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Jul 8, 2020 15:58
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Nope. He might have been but he probably wasn't. If you look at the scholarly arguments for why people believe he was a real historical figure most of them are pretty sketchy and rely on the gospels as being historical records (they're not). i don't know how many ancient "historical records" you have read but they are all fairly dubious. i'm pretty sure marcus aurelius isnt actually a wizard who can summon lightning
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Jul 8, 2020 16:12
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Americans are obsessed with the two R's of race and religion so this thread is entirely predictable, but imo depict Jesus as whatever the gently caress you feel like. I'm not Christian but he seemed like a good dude, I don't think he would have been all 'ugh I do NOT look that pale irl, delete this painting right now i'm serious'
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Jul 8, 2020 16:13
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Rutibex posted:i don't know how many ancient "historical records" you have read but they are all fairly dubious. i'm pretty sure marcus aurelius isnt actually a wizard who can summon lightning You seem stupid on this subject
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Jul 8, 2020 16:16
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How can you even believe in history if you haven't witnessed it with your own eyes and in a state of relative sobriety 
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Jul 8, 2020 16:22
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:You seem stupid on this subject the gospals are as much a primary source as the historia augusta or the twelve caesars. its not like we have actual ancient roman tax records or census data around to be looked at 
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Jul 8, 2020 16:22
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nut posted:if both of the jesuses (jesi?) in the op did it they would give birth to Yanni i dunno which one would get preggers tho whose laurel
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Jul 8, 2020 16:24
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Slumpy posted:whose laurel He's black and gold
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Jul 8, 2020 16:24
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Rutibex posted:the gospals are as much a primary source as the historia augusta or the twelve caesars. its not like we have actual ancient roman tax records or census data around to be looked at It's just really silly that you would leave out important sources like the Paul Wall album "slab god." Jesus lived inside a toilet roll tube and only came out to turn things into fish which he multiplied. People lost their keys, their remotes, their homes. All fish. He was notorious in town. Dead fishing rotting everywhere and you never knew whose toilet roll he was in. People started to turn on each other, accusing one another of harboring Jesus in their toilet rolls and the whole mess got out of hand. A lot of people died over it, Jesus just went to a nail salon and got a mani-pedi as it all happened. You're probably all outraged by it was a neighborhood of bankers and tax men that he targeted. All these guys were into some serious stuff.
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Jul 8, 2020 16:28
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Spinz posted:Christ, what an rear end in a top hat unsung post
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Jul 8, 2020 16:29
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Rutibex posted:jesus is his father. holy trinity for fucks sake I have some worrying news for you regarding how this conversation has panned out in the past.
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Jul 8, 2020 16:39
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Big Beef City posted:I have some worrying news for you regarding how this conversation has panned out in the past. Trinity.... from the Matrix...
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Jul 8, 2020 16:39
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Big Beef City posted:I have some worrying news for you regarding how this conversation has panned out in the past. I've already set up the stake
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Jul 8, 2020 16:40
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If Jesus did actually exist Mary's got some splainin' to do. lol people dumb enough to believe in virgin birth story are allowed to vote and drive cars.
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Jul 8, 2020 16:44
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old beast lunatic posted:If Jesus did actually exist Mary's got some splainin' to do. Did u know that darth vader was also born from a virgin?? Also that Romulus and Remus, the founders of the city of Rome were floated down a river in a reed basket to protect them in exactly the same setup that Moses birth origin was explained? hosed up if true, dog!!
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Jul 8, 2020 17:14
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Big Beef City posted:Did u know that darth vader was also born from a virgin?? Anakin Skywalker? The guy was into some weird stuff. Some people said they saw him pouring sand into his anus and complaining about how rough it was.
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Jul 8, 2020 17:15
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Almost like 'miracle baby' tropes were like saying 'Once Upon a Time...' in their day to get stories started without people asking too many questions and just get the fukkin ball rollin you know what I mean lol like it's just an accepted "hey shut up and check this poo poo out" character origin story that was popular for a real long time that people accepted as a bullshit but don't think too hard about it routine.
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Jul 8, 2020 17:17
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Anakin Skywalker? The guy was into some weird stuff. Some people said they saw him pouring sand into his anus and complaining about how rough it was. Moses also hated sand is there no limit to these parallels
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Jul 8, 2020 17:18
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Anakin Skywalker? The guy was into some weird stuff. Some people said they saw him pouring sand into his anus and complaining about how rough it was. I hear he did some really weird stuff with Tusken Raiders. I don't even want to talk about it, dude. It's too revolting to relive.
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Jul 8, 2020 17:22
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Big Beef City posted:Moses also hated sand is there no limit to these parallels Why'd he spend all his life in a desert then huh smart guy!!?
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Jul 8, 2020 17:23
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Jesus is my co-pilot and we have one of those driver’s ed cars except instead of a brake on the passenger side it’s got an extra gas pedal too and let me tell you Jesus is loving nuts man. Just me and Jesus doing sick donuts and burning rubber on the reg. This one time we bust into the Kmart parking lot at like 80 and Jesus was like “check this out” and he snatched the E-brake and we must have spun like 20-30 times and he didn’t even spill a drop of his beer.
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Jul 8, 2020 17:27
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People are always like "I'm not religious, but Jesus' message and teachings were pretty dope" and I'm just sitting there thinking this dude killed a tree because it wasn't shady enough, had magic powers that obviously nobody in real life has, and promised he was coming back "soon" almost 2000 years ago. Jesus' teachings sucked. "Be nice to people (or else my father (who I also am) will throw you in a lake of fire for eternity)." Wow, I am stunned, you philosopher.
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Jul 8, 2020 21:25
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Colonel Cancer posted:Blasphemers! This is what Jesus truly looked like: the first time my gm explained d&d stats to me he put it this way: "jesus is a good example of a character with 18 str because, do you have any idea how hard it is to carry a giant gently caress off cross on your back up a hill"
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Jul 8, 2020 21:33
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Animal-Mother posted:People are always like "I'm not religious, but Jesus' message and teachings were pretty dope" and I'm just sitting there thinking this dude killed a tree because it wasn't shady enough, had magic powers that obviously nobody in real life has, and promised he was coming back "soon" almost 2000 years ago. Jesus' teachings sucked. "Be nice to people (or else my father (who I also am) will throw you in a lake of fire for eternity)." Wow, I am stunned, you philosopher. In their defense, I personally really don't give a poo poo about tree suffering. They don't even have brains.
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Jul 8, 2020 21:41
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Big Beef City posted:Did u know that darth vader was also born from a virgin?? have ui ever thrown something in the river? fuckin gets hosed up real fast aint no baby surviving that
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Jul 8, 2020 21:43
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that's what the basket part is about
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Jul 8, 2020 22:15
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Baby, then basket, THEN river.
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Jul 8, 2020 22:15
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Jesus was a Muslim. hth, thread.
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Jul 8, 2020 22:18
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The White Dragon posted:the first time my gm explained d&d stats to me he put it this way: Nah he was obviously encumbered the whole way smdh
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Jul 8, 2020 22:23
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i'm going to redpill jesus when he gets back
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Jul 8, 2020 22:30
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Pretty sure Jesus is The Word made flesh and not a "cool dude" '"chill bloke" or what have you. Mmmyeah that's a YIKES from me.
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Jul 8, 2020 22:42
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500excf type r posted:As was already pointed out, there were a lot of preacher dudes running around that area 2000 years ago and we have found records of a bunch of them because there were plenty of people running around documenting poo poo too. Well, there are some primary sources which mention dudes like this but we don't exactly have full details and know only a few by name. We have zero primary sources which mention Jesus specifically (the Gospels don't count, they were written down at least a generation later based on orally transmitted info and possibly no longer extant texts). We do have sources from a generation or so later which mention the existence of this new "Christian" sect claiming to be followers of this one prophet who'd previously been executed. Given the known existence of an indeterminate number of would-be prophets and messiahs in the area at the time, it seems pretty dumb to assume that these people would be inventing their executed founder completely out of thin air.
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Jul 9, 2020 11:58
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Grevling posted:Pretty sure Jesus is The Word made flesh and not a "cool dude" '"chill bloke" or what have you. Mmmyeah that's a YIKES from me. Bird is the Word so the Word must be Bird.
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Jul 9, 2020 12:00
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Christ had a huge hog, just massive, and what a lot of people don’t know is that his thick veiny member is what the first “Christians” were worshipping. Like any good cult it grew from there and the gospels and such were written later as an attempt to cover up the fact that their religion was based on a very large penis. Remember this fact the next time you run across or hear about yet another dumb person doing or saying something stupid in the name of God and/or Jesus; what they’re really doing is running their metaphorical tongue up and down Jesus’s big cock.
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Jul 9, 2020 14:00
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Groke posted:Bird is the Word so the Word must be Bird. I knew somebody would make this joke, should have gone with Logos instead of Word...
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Jul 9, 2020 14:01
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There's this series of lectures about the New Testament on Yale Open Sources which go into historical interpretation of the Gospels. While the Gospels as a whole are not historical sources, it is possible to extract some possibly historical information here and there. I think the argument goes that when there's something that is contrary to the religious message of the Gospels, it can indicate some actual historical piece of information. I remember the placing of the word "INRI" declaring Jesus to be the king of the jews on his cross being given as an example, because Jesus doesn't claim to be the king of the jews and it's not a title the authors of the Gospels give him. Therefore it could indicate that a prophet the romans considered a wanabe king of the jews got executed. Anyway, I find it more likely that there was a person at the beginning of the movement that developed into christianity than that there was no such person and the movement just made them up later, especially when such person was supposed to exist in a time where prophets like that were common.
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Jul 9, 2020 14:31
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Captain Jesus posted:There's this series of lectures about the New Testament on Yale Open Sources which go into historical interpretation of the Gospels. While the Gospels as a whole are not historical sources, it is possible to extract some possibly historical information here and there. I think the argument goes that when there's something that is contrary to the religious message of the Gospels, it can indicate some actual historical piece of information. Yeah its called argument from embarrasment and its a pretty common method for religious textual analysis. Its pretty common sense of youre going to lie you lie to support what youre saying not what goes against and if youre trying to say this person is the best of the best and a literal god/prophet/chosen one then the parts where you say he did something embarrasing or bad are treated as more credible than "he was super good looking and everyone loved him." The crucifixition itself actually falls under Argument From Embarassment because it was such a humiliating painful way to die that was reserved only for the lowest of the low that if early Christians had made up that particular story they would have tried to come up with a way for him to not be crucified. BIG FLUFFY DOG fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Jul 9, 2020 |
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Jul 9, 2020 15:03
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:if early Christians had made up that particular story they would have tried to come up with a way for him to not be crucified. This assumes that early Christians didn't have humiliation fetishes. Which is a frankly stupid assumption.
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Jul 9, 2020 15:17
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