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40 days after rising from the dead he and the 11 remaining disciples went into a garden and he gave a little speech and then noped out like a rockstar into the sky until he disappeared into a cloud. e: The point of him coming back in the physical sense was multi-fold, one, being physical allowed him to let his followers stick their hands into his wounds to prove it was him. Two, it let him do the 'rise into heaven' show, which was pretty fuckin baller. Otherwise it's a cheap cop out to just say "oh he's a ghost and his spirit lives on man". It doesn't really 'go against the faith'. I mean, he's god. He gets to do god poo poo, it's his story. He could have come back as an angel or a singing dog or something I guess but didn't. Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Jul 9, 2020 |
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Jul 9, 2020 22:05
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Makes more sense if Jesus was a cyborg
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Jul 9, 2020 22:09
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Shinjobi posted:Makes more sense if Jesus was a cyborg "Ill be back" ...I know Jesus.
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Jul 9, 2020 22:10
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i wonder if jesus was pissed he had to go live with his dad
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Jul 9, 2020 22:13
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Nuts and Gum posted:So stupid question. Jesus supposedly rose from the grave, meaning his physical body became animated again. dude we've been over this. his body is buried in japan
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Jul 9, 2020 22:25
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Big Beef City posted:Did u know that darth vader was also born from a virgin?? The infant Elora Dannan, the future empress of Air Asleen, was floated down the river on a grass raft to escape the clutches of the evil Queen Bavmorda.
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Jul 9, 2020 22:26
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Did the physical matter of Jesus go to the celestial sphere?
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Jul 9, 2020 22:29
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Jul 9, 2020 22:34
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When he didn't get high, he realized that Jesus had stolen his drugs again. Well, that was what the gun was for, he thought.
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Jul 9, 2020 22:37
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pretty cool reading all these different views and takes on history, thanks folks
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Jul 9, 2020 22:40
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It would be inconsistent to say that Jesus was "brown", he was mediterranean. If Italians, Portuguese, Spaniards, Southern French, Greeks, Jews (non-Diaspora), and Turks are white, then Jesus is white. Jesus came from the levant. If we want to seperate meds from wh*te people, I'm 100% for it. There is more cultural similarity between Lebanon and Spain than there is between Italy and Denmark. And under these circumstances, it holds up that Joshua was not white. Context with which I agree with. Tired of Americans thinking everything East of Romania is Arab. Perfidious Arabians of the past may have made this difficult, but just because a people speak Arabic, does not mean that they are Arabs. Joshua was from the south Levant. He was levantine. He was mediterranean.
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Jul 9, 2020 22:54
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Jesus Christ, Superstar.... Who are you? Who do we think you are?
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Jul 9, 2020 23:35
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jesus was a little c communist
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Jul 9, 2020 23:37
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I always thought barabas would make a pretty good band name - “we want barabas, give us barabas”
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Jul 9, 2020 23:38
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Jesus is such an awesome bro!!
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Jul 9, 2020 23:40
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Yeah, it’s like Jesus is eating all the bad parts and dude just gets the pure high and a sick set of numbchucks
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Jul 9, 2020 23:41
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It's the nunchucks hanging on the door that really make this
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Jul 9, 2020 23:43
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Jeroine Hesus
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Jul 10, 2020 00:04
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Jul 10, 2020 00:07
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john 21:15 when they finished eating, jesus said to simon peter, “woah, nice penis you got there simon son of john” he answered, “same goes to you, buddy~”
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Jul 10, 2020 02:20
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If Jesus was born today he would totally be into IPA's and crossfit, he would also have a large translucent perspex womb on his back that would have a baby horse fetus in it.
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Jul 10, 2020 03:09
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Jesus is wailing 24/7 about is hemeroids
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Jul 10, 2020 03:33
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Jesus is lying in a puddle of his own filth and leavings, sobbing "what you gonna do with all those humps..."
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Jul 10, 2020 03:44
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Jul 10, 2020 03:55
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Jesus has written a book about himself and the cover has a picture of him touching his face like the Paul Reiser Couplehood book cover.
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Jul 10, 2020 03:59
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Jesus was a lil slut lol
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Jul 10, 2020 04:00
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xXTIEYAJ5E
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Jul 10, 2020 04:02
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Jesus would 100% no one can deny it been friends with Epstein.
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Jul 10, 2020 04:18
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ALAN!
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Jul 10, 2020 04:24
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For a few short months Jesus and Patty Hearst were the talk of the town.
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Jul 10, 2020 04:32
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This is the coolest man in the world. He's got the nunchucks, a gun, a skull, and Jesus for a friend.
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Jul 10, 2020 06:54
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So everything I do to myself I do unto Jesus? Welp, I have given God about 200 000 tugjobs and I expect some gratitude when I get to the pearly gates.
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Jul 10, 2020 07:01
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Really taking 'the angels share' literally in this art piece, huh?
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Jul 10, 2020 07:21
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Jesus is the goatse guy. If you stare at goatse long enough and say ten thousand Hail Marys Jesus will appear and suck you into his massive distended butthole and take you to heaven
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Jul 10, 2020 07:36
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I think King Missile had Jesus figured out in their song Jesus Was Way Cool Jesus was way cool Everybody liked Jesus Everybody wanted to hang out with him Anything he wanted to do, he did He turned water into wine And if he wanted to He could have turned wheat into marijuana Or sugar into cocaine Or vitamin pills into amphetamines He walked on the water And swam on the land He would tell these stories And people would listen He was really cool If you were blind or lame You just went to Jesus And he would put his hands on you And you would be healed That's so cool He could've played guitar better than Hendrix He could've told the future He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky He could've danced better than Barishnikov Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of Jesus was way cool He told people to eat his body and drink his blood That's so cool Jesus was so cool But then some people got jealous of how cool he was So they killed him But then he rose from the dead He rose from the dead, danced around Then went up to heaven I mean, that's so cool Jesus was way cool No wonder there are so many Christians
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Jul 10, 2020 07:43
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Jesus is what we would call a birdbrain
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Jul 10, 2020 07:50
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but for real, would we love Jesus as much if semen was involved in his conception
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Jul 10, 2020 09:58
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Wait, are we talking about Jesus of Nazareth, who was probably a real person or Jesus the Christ?
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Jul 10, 2020 20:47
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Yeshua Ben Yoseph
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Jul 10, 2020 20:55
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If Jesus’s blood is wine and bread his body, what about his cum and piss?
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Jul 10, 2020 20:56
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