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ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


It's simple. Everyone in this thread will have their fortunes read by myself (or other goon psychics that come by) in graphic detail. Just comment what part of your life you want to learn about and maybe the spirits will have something interesting to tell you. I hope you ate your lucky charms this morning.

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Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.


ForbiddenSock posted:

It's simple. Everyone in this thread will have their fortunes read by myself (or other goon psychics that come by) in graphic detail. Just comment what part of your life you want to learn about and maybe the spirits will have something interesting to tell you. I hope you ate your lucky charms this morning.

I want to know about my horrible death.

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




will I ever get a septic tank

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


What should I have for lunch tomorrow

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

will I ever get a septic tank

Your tank will remain healthy and infection free.

Serious Party Gods
Apr 2, 2009



I need a hard verdict on my sexual preference.

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




Weka posted:

Your tank will remain healthy and infection free.

thank you wise Weka, I will sleep easy tonight with this weight off my shoulders.

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


Nigmaetcetera posted:

I want to know about my horrible death.

The spirits have spoken. You will dive into a large vat of chocolate pudding. Unfortunately, you did so on the shallow end. The results were sad, but in good taste.

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


Serious Party Gods posted:

I need a hard verdict on my sexual preference.

The spirits have spoken. Your sexual preferences are now to be determined by the first person that adds you on LinkedIn within the next 72 hours. Be wary if you smell anything resembling citrus. Your lucky numbers are 4 and 7. Your sign this month is Yield so watch out for traffic.

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


Devils Affricate posted:

What should I have for lunch tomorrow

The spirits are whispering to me. Tomorrow for lunch you will have a disappointing wrap due to a lack of access to proper burrito distributors. You will however receive free chips and a little extra soda in your cup. Be wary of anyone with straight hair who smells like strawberry vape. Your lucky sign is yellow: prepare to slow down.

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

thank you wise Weka, I will sleep easy tonight with this weight off my shoulders.

The spirits are screaming at me. Be sure to rub some chili powder on your shoulders before bed tonight or else that weight will follow you everywhere. The chili powder is incredibly spicy and the spirit chewing on your shoulder should be deterred from further bad behavior unless you picked it up from a chili manufacturing facility, then you will need a specialist.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


ForbiddenSock posted:

Be wary of anyone with straight hair who smells like strawberry vape.

Ooooooooookay I know exactly who this is, had a feeling that fucker was planning something

Thanks for the heads up OP, looking forward to that extra sip of soda

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



Id like to know about whether my general health will improve or whether I will die in eighty years with an impressive collection of minor ailments or what

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




ForbiddenSock posted:

The spirits are screaming at me. Be sure to rub some chili powder on your shoulders before bed tonight or else that weight will follow you everywhere. The chili powder is incredibly spicy and the spirit chewing on your shoulder should be deterred from further bad behavior unless you picked it up from a chili manufacturing facility, then you will need a specialist.

lalala already asleep here snoring pretty loud cant hear you

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019




Will massive amounts of people purchase my soundcloud rap album and if so, why?

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

ForbiddenSock posted:

The spirits are whispering to me. Tomorrow for lunch you will have a disappointing wrap due to a lack of access to proper burrito distributors. You will however receive free chips and a little extra soda in your cup. Be wary of anyone with straight hair who smells like strawberry vape. Your lucky sign is yellow: prepare to slow down.

You need to put chilli in your ears. You can just jam a whole chili in there but I recommend a thin chilli sauce.

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


Shithouse Dave posted:

Id like to know about whether my general health will improve or whether I will die in eighty years with an impressive collection of minor ailments or what

The spirits are compelling me to pass this message along: if you refuse to stop having sex with attractive people and living a fun and fulfilling life, then you will probably die at 79 surrounded by family and friends in relative comfort. You're lucky sign is green: Go.

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Angry Dome!

Total Clam

I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like?

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


Bronze Fonz posted:

Will massive amounts of people purchase my soundcloud rap album and if so, why?

The spirits are spitting bars at me and they are more interested in you accessing their soundclouds and giving them a chance. I am not sure what they have to gain from it but if you have bluetooth headphones they should interface with a Ouija board if you rub some iron on it. Your lucky sign is red: Its time to stop.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005


Genesplicer posted:

I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like?

*Draws tarot card*

Ah, the 4 of coins. Hmm yes. How secure is you're retirement plan?

ForbiddenSock
May 12, 2020

Would using Nike brand socks for my seed be a cool flex?


Genesplicer posted:

I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like?

The spirits are a screaming at me. They say to keep fighting for your right to be safe while doing your job even if you need to resist idiots that force you to cram 40 kids into a classroom before a vaccine is properly rolled out. On the lighter side of things sneezing on your enemies may reap great fortune. Be ware of WASPs. Your lucky sign is the children crossing sign: do not exceed 25 mph in a school zone.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Genesplicer posted:

I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like?

Now's the time to start recycling the students into nutritional paste.

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019




ForbiddenSock posted:

The spirits are spitting bars at me and they are more interested in you accessing their soundclouds and giving them a chance. I am not sure what they have to gain from it but if you have bluetooth headphones they should interface with a Ouija board if you rub some iron on it. Your lucky sign is red: Its time to stop.

Oh good, that'll save me the cost of a mic and the phat beats I would've used. Thank you Jesus!

el dingo
Mar 19, 2009



What's going on with my right buttcheek

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Fonz, What are you troubled about anyway? Bronze is highly resistant to corrosion (and keeps a beautiful patina).

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

Party Time! Be excellent to each other.



How I will make money when unemployment runs out

low key sex master
May 27, 2004




Will I ever find ~true love~

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Is Helen Hunt dead? I know her body yet walks the earth but has her spirit crossed over to the Other Side?

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Funky See Funky Do posted:

Is Helen Hunt dead? I know her body yet walks the earth but has her spirit crossed over to the Other Side?
I highly recommend that you don't continue this line of questioning friend.

Spinz posted:

How I will make money when unemployment runs out
Pretend to be a psychic on the internet.

Ron Darling posted:

Will I ever find ~true love~
Just look in the mirror! no not that one, the other one.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Ron Darling posted:

Will I ever find ~true love~

That's not a good question to ask. I can throw it out there but I can promise you all we'll just get is a bunch of horny spirits yelling 'Yeah, baby, I'm right here! Summon me!' Most fortune tellers will lie to you about this, but that's what really happens.

Before you get any bright ideas, every single one of those spirits is a scammer. They don't value you for you, they only want what you can give them (your warmth and your breath and your heartbeat).

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

By popular demand posted:

I highly recommend that you don't continue this line of questioning friend.

I have to know!

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




No, no you don't.
You have your whole life ahead of you and I'm not going to help you throw it away.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

I ordered some new hot sauces after being inspired by the 'Hot Sauce' thread of late; will I enjoy them?

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Only as condiments, Your attempt to "spice up" your sex life will end poorly.

Waffle!
Aug 6, 2004

I Feel Pretty!



What is my spirit animal?

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006


Statistically you'd think that I'd sometimes fluke into typing a decent post. Nah. Only the most tedious, shitty posts, all day every day baby!

Don't bother engaging me, I don't ever get the hints to fuck off.




Good fortune telling is like the female orgasm. It's definitely real, but OP has never seen one.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Waffle! posted:

What is my spirit animal?

The majestic Falafel.

SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007



Big Beef City posted:

I ordered some new hot sauces after being inspired by the 'Hot Sauce' thread of late; will I enjoy them?

Dear Watson
Jun 25, 2005




Hell Gem

Tell me whats going to happen with my career

Thanks in advance

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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Dear Watson posted:

Tell me what’s going to happen with my career

Thanks in advance

Bittersweet news I'm afraid: while your position at the dicksucking factory is safe and will outlast the coming recession that promotion is going to Gerald.

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