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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:Remember to keep a close eye out for poisonous snakes, plants, and insects You’re gonna need some playful friends to keep you company until you’re rescued! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPSx283jpJE
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Jul 14, 2020 21:18
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 18:25 |
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lmao 
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Jul 14, 2020 21:18
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nut posted:in the wilderness, you can drink your own piss without being teased if you drink it three times, however, you will morph into peeman and from thenceforth can only be summoned when someone says "peeman" three times while looking into a mirror
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Jul 14, 2020 21:19
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have you ever seen a peeman die in the wildnerness? me neither
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Jul 14, 2020 21:20
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nut posted:have you ever seen a peeman die in the wildnerness? me neither 
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Jul 14, 2020 21:21
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nut posted:have you ever seen a peeman die in the wildnerness? me neither i am a peeman on the land i do not ender joinder with your terlet
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Jul 14, 2020 21:21
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alnilam posted:i am a peeman on the land i do not ender joinder with your terlet  beaten
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Jul 14, 2020 21:22
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bigfoot: how do u think my feet got so big lol bottoms up
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Jul 14, 2020 21:23
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piss bubbling out of my mouth as I say this: If this ain't living, well at least it aint dying
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Jul 14, 2020 21:23
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wearing my most expensive stillsuit to the office so I won't have to explain my piss chugging habit as often
Areola Grande fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Jul 14, 2020 |
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Jul 14, 2020 21:29
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wildenress sruvivl checklist: - pee (enuff to drink) - balls (this is where pee is stored) - selfie stick
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Jul 14, 2020 21:56
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coincidentally, nut's avatar is a great demonstration of the best technique for staying dry in a thunderstorm if you have no available shelter |
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Jul 14, 2020 22:48
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sucking out venom from a snake bite doesn't really work, and you have a right to be suspicious about your survival buddy's story of how he got a snake bite on his penis just now |
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Jul 14, 2020 22:57
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predators hunt mostly by infrared, you can fool their technology by burying yourself in mud
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Jul 14, 2020 22:58
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i mostly use hollow tips or confetti tips but wilderness survival tips are ok just don't prick yourself with 'em ok goodbye
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Jul 14, 2020 23:00
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canyoneer posted:sucking out venom from a snake bite doesn't really work, and you have a right to be suspicious about your survival buddy's story of how he got a snake bite on his penis just now Like he really needs an excuse.
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Jul 14, 2020 23:35
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Dip Viscous posted:coincidentally, nut's avatar is a great demonstration of the best technique for staying dry in a thunderstorm if you have no available shelter 
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Jul 15, 2020 00:01
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keep a dozen pot seeds in your wallet. if one of us gets lost in the woods, let's face it, we'll neither be rescued not find our way out. so you should have all the things you need make your new wilderness life comfortable. |
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Jul 15, 2020 01:41
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rub two DICKS together lmao 
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Jul 15, 2020 02:08
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Pine needle tea is full of vitamin c, useful for staving off scurvy. Pine cone seeds are a ready source of fats and energy. You can use overlapping pine boughs as a waterproof roof for a lean-to. Pine boughs also make for soft, heat retaining bedding. Pine bark is full of flammable oils which can burn even when wet. It makes for a great fire starter. Pine trees are often felled by weather, and pest insects, so dry, dead wood for fires is readily available. A strip of cloth wrapped around a branch and coated with pine tar can burn brightly for many hours, for foraging after dark. That's great but in case you didn't notice, we're lost in the desert. I...guess you don't want to hear about the pine-wife then... |
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Jul 15, 2020 02:20
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PINE WIFE
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Jul 15, 2020 02:26
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Did you ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible. (That's a reference for the Olds among us.)
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Jul 15, 2020 02:26
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If you are lost in the woods you may encounter a beautiful forest nymph who offers to save you in exchange for a kiss. As soon as you kiss her, you will be magically transported to the parking lot of a Denny's, and the beautiful forest nymph will have magically become a Denny's waitress. See honey I was telling you the truth, it says so right here on the internet, please come back I am so lonely. |
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Jul 15, 2020 03:52
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Prof. Crocodile posted:If you are lost in the woods you may encounter a beautiful forest nymph who offers to save you in exchange for a kiss. As soon as you kiss her, you will be magically transported to the parking lot of a Denny's, and the beautiful forest nymph will have magically become a Denny's waitress. I ended up at Waffle House did i do it wrong?
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Jul 15, 2020 03:53
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Pahilla the Hun posted:I ended up at Waffle House did i do it wrong? There are many reasons to ask this question, but the answer is always "yes." |
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Jul 15, 2020 03:54
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Prof. Crocodile posted:There are many reasons to ask this question, but the answer is always "yes." I dunno, this waitress has no teeth and the menu has pictures of the food on it. I think I'm in the right place, spiritually.
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Jul 15, 2020 05:03
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most menus have pictures of the food on it nowadays. one could go as far as to say that waffle house was ahead of the times. |
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Jul 15, 2020 05:14
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whatever you do don't stick together, spreading out disperses the danger away |
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Jul 15, 2020 05:23
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prickly pears are an often overlooked member of the pear family. delicious |
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Jul 15, 2020 05:27
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if you are ever lost in the woods (aka the wilderness) then just yell "hey i am lost over here!!" and then someone will come to rescue you so don't worry about anything and snapchat
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Jul 15, 2020 05:31
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nut posted:have you ever seen a peeman die in the wildnerness? me neither if a peeman dies and nobodys around does he died does anyone die please help, |
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Jul 15, 2020 06:11
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If it's really cold out and you're hot wearing a heavy jacket just take it off and chill for a bit. Take a nap! You've earned it! |
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Jul 15, 2020 06:28
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BUG JUG posted:If it's really cold out and you're hot wearing a heavy jacket just take it off and chill for a bit. Take a nap! You've earned it! Hell, take a nice dip in the stream first if you want to soothe those aching muscles, let mother nature dry you off while you sleep |
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Jul 15, 2020 06:30
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me: whoah, check this out, all of these trees are covered in jerky survival tip coach: that is actually tree bark, an inedible protective coating they grew me: whoah, thank you for the wildness survival tip, coach *turns to the tree* you'll never trick me again, giant mop
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Jul 15, 2020 11:55
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If you find Bear Grylls in the woods, stay hidden while stalking him until he leads you to a hotel for the night. |
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Jul 15, 2020 13:54
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you can drink piss in the city too if you just film it and put it on YouTube as a survival challenge
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Jul 15, 2020 16:07
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I know it’s a little outside the purview of wilderness but I thought it would be useful here in this thread for tips on where and how to drink piss
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Jul 15, 2020 16:08
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Hey hey hey heeeeeyyyyyy Drink piss every day! |
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Jul 15, 2020 16:16
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cool wilderness fact: due to the closed nature of the water cycle the piss you are now drinking could have been a dinosaurs at one point, or even napoleans!
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Jul 15, 2020 22:55
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 18:25 |
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nut posted:you can drink piss in the city too if you just film it and put it on YouTube as a survival challenge You can just buy bud light |
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Jul 15, 2020 23:47
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