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only eat the moss found on the southwestern edge of a tree's eastmost bark never eat the moss found on the northeastern edge of a tree's westmost bark for it is pure poison
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Jul 14, 2020 16:36
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prepuce repurposed posted:your compass can be disassembled and made into a bey blade for ur amusement if you cut your canteen in half, you can build a sweet arena
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Jul 14, 2020 16:40
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prepuce repurposed posted:if u had the foresight to bring an emergency flare, use it to shoot a wild boar. u only get one shot so make it count! in many cases this will cook the boar alive, so when it stops moving it's bbq time
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Jul 14, 2020 18:24
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instead of walking or running, just jump everywhere at a ridiculous pace also constantly swat at the invisible things you just know are chasing you
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Jul 14, 2020 20:45
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prepuce repurposed posted:live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign urself to the influence of the earth. 
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Jul 14, 2020 21:11
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nut posted:in the wilderness, you can drink your own piss without being teased if you drink it three times, however, you will morph into peeman and from thenceforth can only be summoned when someone says "peeman" three times while looking into a mirror
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Jul 14, 2020 21:19
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nut posted:have you ever seen a peeman die in the wildnerness? me neither 
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Jul 14, 2020 21:21
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wildenress sruvivl checklist: - pee (enuff to drink) - balls (this is where pee is stored) - selfie stick
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Jul 14, 2020 21:56
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i mostly use hollow tips or confetti tips but wilderness survival tips are ok just don't prick yourself with 'em ok goodbye
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Jul 14, 2020 23:00
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Prof. Crocodile posted:If you are lost in the woods you may encounter a beautiful forest nymph who offers to save you in exchange for a kiss. As soon as you kiss her, you will be magically transported to the parking lot of a Denny's, and the beautiful forest nymph will have magically become a Denny's waitress. I ended up at Waffle House did i do it wrong?
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Jul 15, 2020 03:53
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Prof. Crocodile posted:There are many reasons to ask this question, but the answer is always "yes." I dunno, this waitress has no teeth and the menu has pictures of the food on it. I think I'm in the right place, spiritually.
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Jul 15, 2020 05:03
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if you are ever lost in the woods (aka the wilderness) then just yell "hey i am lost over here!!" and then someone will come to rescue you so don't worry about anything and snapchat
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Jul 15, 2020 05:31
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:You can just buy bud light whoa when did the piss expert arrive?
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Jul 16, 2020 00:56
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dont go out there its waiting for you stay inside for the love of boo hhsjsjzhshsjssjsjsjsanvhdudd
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Jul 16, 2020 05:36
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in canada the cake eats you also, watch out for yukon hos they be triflin
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Jul 16, 2020 22:11
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Thunder Moose posted:You take that back rn! i love you i take it all back 
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Jul 17, 2020 05:31
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alexandriao posted:EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS RIGHT INTO THE SLOT. ITS BEAR GRYLLS AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, BEAR. I TAKE EVERY GULP AND I DO EVERY GULP HARD. MAKIN GURGLING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME PISS SHOTS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY DRANK PISS TO SURVIVE. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE TASTED ALL THE TYPES OF PISS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SLURPING EM ALL NOISILY. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I PEE 
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Jul 17, 2020 20:53
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idiotsavant posted:if during your wilderness travails you happen upon a small hut standing on giant chicken legs shout "little hut little hut turn your back to the forest and your front to me" and a powerful witch spirit might aid you whatever you do, dont cast reduce balls
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Jul 18, 2020 21:28
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Thunder Moose posted:Become a Disney princess so you can commune with nature - tell the squirrels to steal you some Tabasco slim jims maybe. this is a pro tip, those Tabasco slim jims are no joke
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Jul 19, 2020 23:58
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