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Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



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bus hustler
Mar 14, 2019

Can you pay my bills
Can you pay my telephone bills
Can you pay my automo-bills

id wake up and kiss my beautiful wife mrs val kilmer

screamin and creamin
Sep 15, 2003



Id scrape the bottom of the barrel for a thread idea.

Hackers film 1995
Nov 4, 2009

Hack the planet!


id go for run and start dieting

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




first and foremost im gettin nude in front the mirror. hell yeah i always wanted all exclusive access to val kilmers junk

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers


Top Cop

If I was sexy Val Kilmer from 30 years ago, I'd throw a huge raging party! Special screening of Willow, and Heat.

If I was groteseque out of shape Val Kilmer from nowadays, I'd throw a huge raging party! Special screening of Willow, and Heat.

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005




then i dont see how my day would be any different from there. id make a coffee and eat some frosted flakes, then its off to work

Heated Gaming Moment
Feb 27, 2016

YOSPOS



Id make another Top Secret

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers


Top Cop

Heated Gaming Moment posted:

Id make another Top Secret

Best correct answer.

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




Heated Gaming Moment posted:

Id make another Batman

Withnail
Feb 11, 2004


Just be like, oh, lucid dreaming again

DrOnline
Oct 21, 2007


I'd be nipple batman forever.

Heated Gaming Moment
Feb 27, 2016

YOSPOS



Pro click

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rF_MDb03dA

caleb
Jul 17, 2004
...rough day at the orifice.

I don't know how to play the trumpet but tattoos are cool and I could probably be into smoking meth and taking apart a radio. I don't have a dead wife but I'm willing to learn

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

First, I'd call my wife to see if I was still there. If so, I'd put half my money in a trust payable to myself or Val Kilmer. If we switch back after a week or learning a valuable lesson, I'd loot the trust.

DonJNavarro
Aug 16, 2000
I am so smart!....S-M-R-T!



I'd call up Warwick Davis and make him say, "You arre great"

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


Am I too old to be The Lizard King?

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

In a world gone mad,
we will not spank the monkey,
but the monkey will spank us.

I'd pull my dick to check it works.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



i would commit a sequence of crimes, secure in the knowledge that i would wake up the next day as my previous self

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


look in the mirror and go "who the gently caress am i?"

ask the nearest person who says: "why, Val Kilmer of course!"

to which my only response is "who da gently caress is that??"

then I grab what I can hold and go live in a sewer or smth. im assuming this kilmer character is crocodile ugly.

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015



I'd try and get ideas from GBS without admitting it had actually happened. I hope Val is treating your kids OK Sid.

Also I would check my ID to find out what Val is short for.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


God I really am an affront to the Batman franchise. I really over-did it. Hes not a goddamn door to door carpet cleaner salesman. I will relax today. And tomorrow. But eventually I will work on my acting. I would make a dope aquaman. More bat and less man next time. They wont ever take me back. I made a flamboyant caricature of a profound man, hes more than just a scotch lover on a whimsical and terrifying joy ride. Ftfy.

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 15 days!


I'd shake George Clooney's hand for being a worse Batman than me

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


I'd suck ur rear end bro!! I'd suck your freaking rear end!!

This post was inspired by a Rolling Stones article from a 2001 issue, released on 9/11, its contents have been copied henceforth.

______________________________

In the 1991 action film Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the T-1000 is seen making his way through a mental hospital with a turd in hand. It is rock hard, fibrous, crumbling like chalk, but when exposed to his saliva it rehydrates, forming a slurry of grey diarrheatic matter which stains his hands and face and dribbles down his body like melted swiss chocolate icecream. As he proceeds, the orderlies begin to violently vomit allowing him to continue on undeterred. When he catches up to the other Terminator, who, along with John and Sarah Conner, have taken refuge in an elevator, the last thing they see is his smile, with caked on fecal matter and small gobbets of rehydrated turd matter lodged between his silvery liquid metal teeth. The elevator doors shut quickly.

When reached for comment, Val Kilmer had nothing but positive remarks regarding Robert Patrick's performance -

"It was great, just really great, fantastic. Of course I can relate, I myself had done a similar performance, but not quite so stellar, when I loving sucked huge turds out a toad's soggy rear end in a top hat for my role as Jim Morrison in The Doors."

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004
Im gonna put cupcakes on your mind


You'd only see the back of my head, it's clear I'm talking, but my voice doesn't match up and it sounds...muffled.

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

>jerk off.

Meredith Baxter-Burnout
Jul 4, 2003

It's okay to watch child porn if you don't touch your dick, just raises awareness man.



caleb posted:

I don't know how to play the trumpet but tattoos are cool and I could probably be into smoking meth and taking apart a radio. I don't have a dead wife but I'm willing to learn

What are your feelings re: badgers?

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



Weka posted:

>jerk off.

you could go round telling everyone that you jerked off Val Kilmer and there was nothing he could do about it

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Then it would just be another boring day in the life of me - the real Val Kilmer.

iSimian
Jan 19, 2008

Well, there's your problem!

holy smokes, that'd be weird

Stockholm
Apr 6, 2010


What era Kilmer are we talking about.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope

I would jerk off just to see what it's like to have a x
dick

starbucks hermit
Dec 13, 2016




Fun Shoe

I would stay in bed, look at my feet, and say, with the softest, most excruciatingly slowest voice

"there is no normal life, there's just life"

then I'd take off all my clothes and look in the mirror and say

"well I'll be damned, this is funny"

starbucks hermit
Dec 13, 2016




Fun Shoe

if it's like below 40 F then I'll probably do the same but keep my jammies on

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017


Muldoon

Sell all of my assets, buy a small house with a big warehouse, spend the money on buying Discogs.com and then all the vinyl records.

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie



Immediately set out to make "RoboDoc", where Doc Holiday is revived in the year 2525 as a cyborg cowboy.

*Shoots mutant in the dick with a double barreled chain fed automatic shotgun*

"You're no cyber daisy"

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012



Hahaha ya imagine that


.....ha

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014








I would immediately throw out all the junk food/drugs and start hitting the gym every day.

In 12 weeks I'd start hitting up movie studios.

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017


Muldoon

Make a Batman film where Batman is actually just Val Kilmer when hes not Batman

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super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009



Lipstick Apathy

I'd issue an apology for my lackluster performance in Dodgeball and thank the rest of the cast for salvaging it.

e: Oh wait, that's Vince Vaughn. I get those two confused. Lumpy doughmen whose names start with V.

super sweet best pal fucked around with this message at 12:13 on Jul 16, 2020

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