you just got laid off itt

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wilfredmerriweathr: Jul 11, 2005

gently caress yeah time to go camping after filing for unemployment

# ? Jul 17, 2020 16:28

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:23

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; Bag Flying At Noon, (2024)

*sets up Grindr account*

SUMMER OF GEORGE BABY!

# ? Jul 17, 2020 16:42

Saint Drogo: Dec 26, 2011

10 years as this company's cumrag, just so they can throw me away like

oh

# ? Jul 17, 2020 16:42

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I'm in the layoff industry and the business is good baby

# ? Jul 17, 2020 16:53

Gay Weed Dad: Jul 12, 2016; cool dude, flyin' high

*stuffs pockets with as much DDR3 as they can hold while crying*

# ? Jul 17, 2020 17:30

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

"Well ya know. maybe this a good thing! Yeah....it's time. this is IT! I'm ready! Here's my plan!

Week 1- Learn Python
Week 2 - Learn Docker
Week 3 - Study for Network+
Week 4 - Study for Security+
Week 5 - Learn AWS

Man, my Linkedin is gonna be blowin' UP!"

When in reality you spent week one drinking and watching ER and CSI reruns.

# ? Jul 17, 2020 19:52

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

Now I can take Ivanka Kushner's advice and find something else!

# ? Jul 17, 2020 20:13

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

Wait, I get HOW MUCH after filing for unemployment?

oh gently caress it's only until the end of this month? poo poo why didn't I get fired sooner

oh god wait I can't pay my rent on $600 from a single month

america why do you suck so much???

# ? Jul 18, 2020 06:06

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

i really want to take a poo poo on the HR ladys desk but im too scared that it will effect my "career growth"

# ? Jul 18, 2020 06:20

Cyber Punk 90210: Jan 7, 2004; The War Has Changed

Does it count as getting laid off if my job cancelled the contract before I could start?

# ? Jul 18, 2020 06:29

foonykins: Jun 15, 2010; stop with the small talk

Jokes on those fuckers I walked out with 10 gtx960s and 20 320gb 7200rpm hard drives

eBay here we come!

# ? Jul 18, 2020 06:29

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

Im gonna sh*t myself, and then sh**t myself

# ? Jul 18, 2020 20:26

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Chinatown posted:

i really want to take a poo poo on the HR ladys desk but im too scared that it will effect my "career growth"

You don't have to claim responsibility.

# ? Jul 19, 2020 06:00

Diet Poison: Jan 20, 2008; LICK MY ASS

My unemployment took so loving long to get approved that I ended up just cancelling my application anyway. Somehow I ended up getting $60 sent to me, which I had to pay back as part of my taxes; this was the very end of 2019.
Well, that's my Canadian dole story. I also stole my office chair, my computer monitors, and about 5 years worth of paper. In retrospect I could have gotten away with so much more.

# ? Jul 19, 2020 07:24

Bio-Hazard: Mar 8, 2004; I HATE POLITICS IN SOCCER AS MUCH AS I LOVE RACISM IN SOCCER

Don't worry, your boss will still have a job

# ? Jul 19, 2020 09:13

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

In movies people who get fired get to carry their personal belongings in a cardboard box.

Well I got a see-through plastic bag for my coffee mug and emergency underpants and it was super embarrassing.

# ? Jul 19, 2020 10:20

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

I was dismissed from my position on Tuesday because I left a room when a manager wanted to talk to me but didn't say so. I'd been there for 5 years.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do now.

# ? Jul 19, 2020 10:31

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

The Grimace posted:

Wait, I get HOW MUCH after filing for unemployment?

oh gently caress it's only until the end of this month? poo poo why didn't I get fired sooner

oh god wait I can't pay my rent on $600 from a single month

america why do you suck so much???

I have a friend that works for metro in a large city and they were necessary employees the whole time (several died of Covid) and now the city is laying off like 200 of them effective right after the July benefits end.

# ? Jul 19, 2020 20:02

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

"First I'mma take your job, then I'mma take your girl."

-covid 19

# ? Jul 19, 2020 22:30

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

*goes to live in the woods far away from capitalism and plagues*

# ? Jul 19, 2020 23:56

Super Waffle: Sep 25, 2007; I'm a hermaphrodite and my parents (40K nerds) named me Slaanesh, THANKS MOM

Sourdough Sam posted:

Updating my resumé on the toilet. Big things are in store for me. I should update my portfolio too. Oh wait my last three years of work on the now cancelled project are under NDA in perpetuity.

This but literally unironically.

:smith:

# ? Jul 20, 2020 00:30

vandalism: Aug 4, 2003

DickParasite posted:

*Heads home*
*finds wife in bed with former, still employed, coworker*
*tfw you've never seen your wife in such ecstasy*
*they don't even notice*
*drives to liquor store*
*uses change in cup holder to buy pint of popov and 2 litre of coke*
*is 44 cents short but cashier takes pity on you*
*sits in the car, drinking vodka, listening to radio*
*wonders if penmanship is too bad for a handwritten note*
*passes out*
*is arrested for dui*
*calls wife from jail. Wife doesn't answer*
*spends weekend in jail*
*has persistent dry cough*
*loses sense of smell*
*is admitted to hospital in quarantine wing*
*nobody allowed to visit*
*wife doesn't try anyway*
*dies choking on fluid in lungs*

Lucky motherfucker.

# ? Jul 20, 2020 02:56

JK Fresco: Jul 5, 2019

Im gonna gently caress alice from hr

# ? Jul 20, 2020 03:24

Prof. Crocodile: Jun 27, 2020

Laid off!? Is this because I told everyone in the "I hate printers" thread that I hate-hosed the office printer?
Because if so, let me tell you something: I totally hate-hosed the office printer.

# ? Jul 20, 2020 03:33

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

Guess I'll just play slightly more video games than usual then.

# ? Jul 20, 2020 03:40

JK Fresco: Jul 5, 2019

Im applying for disability anyway it's gonna be great

# ? Jul 20, 2020 03:41

Gay Weed Dad: Jul 12, 2016; cool dude, flyin' high

Bonzo posted:

"Well ya know. maybe this a good thing! Yeah....it's time. this is IT! I'm ready! Here's my plan!

Week 1- Learn Python
Week 2 - Learn Docker
Week 3 - Study for Network+
Week 4 - Study for Security+
Week 5 - Learn AWS

Man, my Linkedin is gonna be blowin' UP!"

When in reality you spent week one ~~drinking~~crying and watching ER and CSI reruns.

gently caress me this hits home :ohdear:

# ? Jul 20, 2020 14:29

lo carb Lo Pan: Oct 8, 2004

"Suckers! I haven't done poo poo in months!"

*limbos under factory door to go work at the sick ducking factory across the street*

# ? Jul 20, 2020 15:25

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:23

Captain_Indigo: Jul 29, 2007; "Thatâs cheating! You know the rules: once you sacrifice something here, you donât get it back!"

"Haha yeah, sure, okay Gary, how about you're laid off? Haha see you on Monday, rear end in a top hat."

# ? Jul 20, 2020 18:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > you just got laid off itt

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