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Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:
Witches in your TikTok? Now there's a solution! Presenting WitchBurnr, the digital heresy detox app! Immolates 99.99% of digital witches at the push of a button! Leaves your TikTok purified of all dire magicks, Satanic influences, and crystal energies!

*app just overlays a low-res flame gif on TikTok videos*

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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Riot Bimbo posted:

Faith takes a lot of directions, none of them are invalid or wrong friend

Any faith that would ensorcel the moon with dark maygicks is wrong and must be stopped

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

I'll hex a loving asteroid if I want to and fight an elf about it, I ain't care, fuckin legolas rear end bitch come meet me in the whataburger parking lot

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

PhysicsFrenzy posted:

how do I get in on this whole hexing the moon business, sounds fun

just get a broomstick and cover it in belladonna and start riding that thing

https://edu.rsc.org/feature/belladonna-broomsticks-and-brain-chemistry/2020099.article

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Who What Now posted:

Any faith that would ensorcel the moon with dark maygicks is wrong and must be stopped

magic is basically science but for magic

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
A witches hat can also be used as a toilet.

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
why witches gotta gently caress up the moon for the rest of us, huh?

not cool, witches

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
also lol @ the fresh faces of some of these folks calling others 'baby witches' muhgawd

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

StrangersInTheNight posted:

also lol @ the fresh faces of some of these folks calling others 'baby witches' muhgawd

They're narcissists

sh1fty
Jan 22, 2004

What kind of poo poo do I have to start liking for the algorithm to give me witches tiktok? I want in

xdirtypinkox
Aug 12, 2004

And it gets easier as I pass the Edward Scissorhands village where privileged white kids date rape girls and taunt me in their SUV's.
Just looked outside and it's overcast! Thanks a lot baby witches!

Ville Valo
Sep 17, 2004

I'm waiting for your call
and I'm ready to take
your six six six
in my heart
Which presidential candidate is running on the Destroy The Moon platform? I need to know who is tough on witches.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Biden chooses Piccolo as his VP

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:
Luckily the Apollo astronauts deployed a series of quartz retroreflectors on the Moon, protecting it from hexes by bouncing them backs at the sender.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009



Hail Moon Satan

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

Chinatown posted:

A witches hat can also be used as a toilet.
This is true of all hats.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Knormal posted:

This is true of all hats.

Yeah but witch hats are super cute and who wouldn't want a cute toilet

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

gently caress DA MOON


I know they said I shouldn’t make the moon and associated gods angrier but I don’t give a monkeys

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Remember when that piss head called the cops on the moon lol

quote:

Man Thinks Moon Is UFO, Calls Police

Nov. 2, 2011 — -- Somewhere in here, there has to be a good joke. Police in Hertfordshire, England, report they received an emergency call after 8 o'clock one night last week from a man who insisted he'd seen a UFO.

"It's not an emergency per se," he said, "but there's something flying over our house. It's coming towards me now, there's all this light blazing. I don't know what the hell it is."

Two minutes later he called back and reached the same dispatcher. "You're not going to believe this," he said. "It's the moon."

The dispatcher seemed flummoxed. "Right, okay, I'll look at that but we're really busy so I'm going to have to go now. Right. Okay, thanks. Goodbye."

To the discerning ear, the man may sound groggy, or drunk, or a little as if he's taken too much of something -- but whatever the case, the Hertfordshire police didn't think it was funny.

They have posted the two calls on YouTube as an example of when not to call 999 (the U.K.'s equivalent of 911).

"'While the caller here may not have been phoning out of malice, his call still tied up valuable police resources and time for something which was not an emergency," said Jason Baxter, the assistant manager at the force communications room, in a statement to British media.

Was the call a hoax, or was the man genuinely confused? Did he have his head firmly attached or not?


https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Technology/man-thinks-moon-ufo-calls-police/story?id=14865398

FUCK SNEEP
Apr 21, 2007




StrangersInTheNight posted:

also lol @ the fresh faces of some of these folks calling others 'baby witches' muhgawd

gotta know some powerful spells and befriend some powerful spirits to keep those wrinkles away

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Sid Vicious posted:

haha whoa he is

The Moon, played by Noel Fielding, made regular appearances in The Mighty Boosh.
https://mightyboosh.fandom.com/wiki/The_Moon

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
What sort of a lovely goddess cares about being hexed by some baby witches? I wouldn't confidently rule out the efficacy of witchcraft but they can hex me all they want idgaf. Also keen to fight a ghost if anyone knows where a mean one hangs out.

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

The enemy:

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
You can get high af looking directly at the moon. :rznv:

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

welcome to dead gay house
the witches have, just now, hexed my diaper.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

if I've been hexxed would I know it or would someone have to confirm it what do I do

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

Big Beef City posted:

if I've been hexxed would I know it or would someone have to confirm it what do I do

WebMD is a good place to start but keep in mind only a medical professional can diagnose you as having been hexed

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


ArbitraryC posted:

tarot cards

There's a free app called Labyrinthos that will help you learn tarot meanings with quizzes and practice readings. Her tarot philosophy is about introspection and self-evaluation, not forecasting specific events. It's cute and fun. You can support the maker by ordering an irl tarot deck.

https://labyrinthos.co/

peanut fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Jul 21, 2020

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


but lmao the moon

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Loden Taylor posted:

I'll hex a loving asteroid if I want to and fight an elf about it, I ain't care, fuckin legolas rear end bitch come meet me in the whataburger parking lot

this is the most YA urban fantasy writing prompt I've ever seen in my life.


Chinatown posted:

A witches hat can also be used as a toilet.

stop making GBS threads in my loving hat

Terebus
Feb 17, 2007

Pillbug

Loden Taylor posted:

I'll hex a loving asteroid if I want to and fight an elf about it, I ain't care, fuckin legolas rear end bitch come meet me in the whataburger parking lot

Yo, you're being racist against all elf-kind. I'm a quarter elf, and I'm gonna hex u. Camovu rosii o sa suceavu duguid

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

stop making GBS threads in my loving hat

sorry. old habits, ya know? (:

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido

Witches are pretty cool in my book. They got a lifestyle they enjoy, usually have a lot of nice plants and decor in their apartments or houses and the ones I know are chill as gently caress.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

FPzero posted:

Witches are pretty cool in my book. They got a lifestyle they enjoy, usually have a lot of nice plants and decor in their apartments or houses and the ones I know are chill as gently caress.

Having a literal panic attack because someone cast magical spells that don't work at the moon is the peak of cool. Lmao

These people are corny af

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Having a literal panic attack because someone cast magical spells that don't work at the moon is the peak of cool. Lmao

These people are corny af

most of us lit a few white tea lights and scrubbed some salt on them and said 'hey sorry' and maybe left out some chocolate or whatever.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

YOU HAVE ANGERED APOLLO, YOU WILL loving PAY THE PRICE FOR THIS! YOU ARE MAKING THE PANDEMIC WORSE BY HEXING THE MOON!!

*me sweating* drat.... that sshit so cool...

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!


Cats in the cradle BIOTCH! :catstare:

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

FPzero posted:

Witches are pretty cool in my book. They got a lifestyle they enjoy, usually have a lot of nice plants and decor in their apartments or houses and the ones I know are chill as gently caress.

I can't imagine they are chill. The chick in the OP seems super annoying. She will grow out of it in a few years though I'm sure.

Vakal
May 11, 2008
Moon Boy was the best fool. gently caress Butterbumps and Patchface.

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Puppy Time
Mar 1, 2005


I was hoping to see tiktoks of people actually hexing the moon

I appreciate the non-moon-hexing examples but I still feel very let down.

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