quote:

Clyde takes a sip of whiskey, making sure to swallow properly before replying. "Yes, Edgar?"

Edgar looks down. There's something more than the usual frown going on in his face, a scrunching of the mouth, a twisting of features, as if he's in a horrible inner turmoil. Clyde understands all too well. His throat tightens.

He reaches out and touches Edgar's shoulder properly. "What is it, Edgar?"

Edgar looks up abruptly, and all the pain in the world is in his eyes. "Clyde..."

Bomrek posted:

Surely nothing terrible will come of autotranslating the Chinese one

Pick posted:

also it's pretty weird to me that NONE of the tolstoover ones are "explicit" but HALF the thatcherxthatcher ones are? scratchin my head about tHAT one

Pick posted:

poo poo, I forgot no one on this website can read

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Here’s something you can read Pick:

dumb bullshit

Pick posted:

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Here’s something you can read Pick:

https://i.imgur.com/WUe35fB.mp4

Big Beef City posted:

I demand that I get to go for a ride on J. Edgar Hoovers little wicker Shitler cart right NOW.

Pick posted:

you're all lazy and uncultured

Mega64 posted:

If it helps I'll masturbate to it too.

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Here’s something you can read Pick:

https://i.imgur.com/WUe35fB.mp4

Mega64 posted:

You couldn't pay me to take Nurge

quote:

The lanterns were swaying lightly in the subtle wind. Unlike last time, seats had not been assigned, and the leaders were free to roam around, or sit if they pleased. The color of the sky was a darker shade of blue than that of the day, yet the warmth of Florida meant shallow - though appropriate - clothing. Emmanuel had no intention of confronting Justin, and even simple conversation was out of the question. How was it possible to have... residue wiped off of your stomach by someone and then have a normal discussion with that person? He’d at least need more time.

“What’s with the frown?” Trump asked, having spotted it from far away.

Emmanuel hadn’t expected the company, and neither had he asked for it. He’d stood under the shadow of a palm tree, arms crossed as he observed the other leaders socializing with drinks in their hands.

“You spiked my drink,” Emmanuel scoffed.

It wasn’t the cause of that particular frown, however he’d been reminded by Trump’s presence that he’d never gotten to [removing this because I don't want Secret Service called on Jeffrey]. It seemed only appropriate to get some answers.

“Who told you that?” Trump squinted, almost in disbelief. “Fake news.”

Emmanuel had to push away the instinct of strangling the American President on the spot.

“The Canadian prime minister told me,” He answered, knowing it had to carry some weight since Justin had presumably seen it happen.

“Soy boy told you huh,” Trump shrugged, and he supposed there was no point denying it. “I guess you had a hard time… pun very much intended. You know, it’s actually your fault, because, and they don’t tell you this, viagra only works if you’re turned on. You have to trigger it yourself, tremendous, very crazily.”

Nigmaetcetera posted:

I don’t get it, tolson and hoover were both ugly, authoritarian, and evil, why would anybody want to read about them cornholing one another? Also, yes Pick, they were gay, unless they were just roommates for 50 years for some other reason they chose not to disclose to the rest of the world.

Bogus Adventure posted:

It includes this exchange:

quote:

Jeb fumbled for his phone, and it fell off the table. He tried to catch it but hit his head on the edge – then tripped over his charger. Mildly cursing, he navigated to the news.

There was the headline – “Infamous Zodiac Killer Strikes Again: Ben Carson Dead.” The Zodiac Killer? Wasn’t that a… 1970s thing? He clicked on the article.

Ben Carson was found dead outside of a hotel this morning, 2/26/16, shot at least five times in the chest and head. An autopsy is currently underway, but it is estimated his death took place at around 3:30 this morning. A typed note was found on his person and is still in police custody but we have been informed that it claims this is the work of the so-called notorious “Zodiac Killer” who killed at least seven people in Northern California in the 1960s and 1970s. Whether or not this claim is true has yet to be verified…

Jeb sat back down on the bed. How could this be? A fabled serial killer, back in action? Why had he killed Ben Carson, of all people?

Maybe Bernie would know.

With newfound initiative, Jeb got back up, changed from his turtle pajamas into a t-shirt and jeans (thank god for no more collared shirts), took a deep breath, and opened his door. No one in the hallway. Down the stairs. Through the kitchen to reach the mudroom. George Senior and Junior were both sitting at the kitchen table, reading two copies of the same newspaper. They didn’t acknowledge him as he walked by, but he was used to being given no attention. And today that was a good thing.

There wasn’t enough room in the garage for his car, so it was parked out front. As he walked around the house, he stared up at its big white walls. He looked forward to moving out and going back to Florida, but for the moment his mother wanted him to be here, in Texas. What a miserable state.

Getting into his car, he pulled out his phone and turned off his location. It wouldn’t do for his mother to know where he was going.

After a couple tries getting his minivan to start, Jeb was on the road. His destination was 15 minutes away, at the third gas station on this road. When he got there, he parked and reached into the glove box for his bag of quarters. He dashed from the car to the telephone booth, hiding his face. It wouldn’t do for people to recognize him here. He liked this particular phone booth because of its heavily frosted glass. He wouldn’t usually be here, but the cheap flip phone he’d been using in the past had broken a few weeks ago, so he was reduced to using public amenities such as this until he could surreptitiously acquire a new one.

Strumpie posted:

i should ask all those young women why they're sitting in the library reading about sherlock and watson.

there might be a connection.

quote:

Jeb shuffled through the black line of mourners extending to the back of the church. He slowly approached the closed brown coffin, shaking hands with and offering condolences to the Carson family members standing nearby. They seemed pleasantly surprised at his showing up. That wasn’t something he could often say.

He gripped Junior Jeb in his pocket as he scanned the crowd. It took him a few seconds to locate such an incredibly average looking man in a crowd of average looking old men. He sidled up to John Kasich, standing alone near the front of the church.

“John,” he muttered. “I was terribly sorry to hear about your loss.”

“Thanks, Jeb,” John said, patting the taller man’s arm. “That means a lot.” John looked haggard and tired, holding tightly to a handkerchief and wearing a wrinkled suit. Jeb was about to move away, but John stopped him. “Hey,” he said. “Can I talk to you after this? Business stuff?”

“Um, sure,” said Jeb.

Two hours later he found himself sitting in an old rural Steak n Shake nursing a “turtle” milkshake while John Kasich talked to him about his problems.

“Ben might not have been a common-sense conservative fit to run this country,” he was saying. “But he was truly such a dear, sweet man and had a lot of heart. He meant the world to me.” He looked down at his fries and sighed. “Did you know he thought the Egyptian pyramids were built to store grain?” He smiled sadly.

Jeb nodded, trying to appear empathetic, but he was internally envious. John and Ben had been perfect for each other. He’d never seen Carson look more… awake.

Nigmaetcetera posted:

I don’t get it, tolson and hoover were both ugly, authoritarian, and evil, why would anybody want to read about them cornholing one another? Also, yes Pick, they were gay, unless they were just roommates for 50 years for some other reason they chose not to disclose to the rest of the world.

Pick posted:

Also it hadn't occurred to me to look up modern-day, here's every Bernie Sanders tagged fic


oohhh.... whats this!!