itt you are a dad who just stubbed his toe

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > itt you are a dad who just stubbed his toe

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ELI PORTER: Sep 16, 2007; I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

soN OF A BITCH

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 04:57

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Ow this hurts.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:34

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

auughhhh

i sure hope my 2 boys don't see this and then intentionally start doing it to one another later in life while calling it the ole' "spicy toe"

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:36

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

I hope my child will be dutiful enough to bring me some ice.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:36

That strange guy: Dec 14, 2014; It's not strange if we never mention it again.

No lowtax you can't kiss it better!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:41

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I throw my head back and scream like I'm about to crash a speedboat with faulty controls into some docks that has a big sign reading children playing on the docks and in the water near the docks

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:45

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Well we're not going to Grandma's for christmas NOW you fuckin ANIMALS ahhhh .. gently caress that hurts

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:46

nut: Jul 30, 2019

*shoves the coffee table* loving piece of poo poo thing doesn't even work right

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:49

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

FUUUUUUUUUUCK

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:50

Rags to Liches: Mar 11, 2008; future skeleton soldier

alright kids, no more legos EVER

ow

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:52

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

*spits out the half of unchewed hot dog and bun plus all topping I have in my mouth, whole, directly on top of the dog, who, in a panic, startles me in turn causing me to have a seizure which sends me through the glass table arcing glass shards through my body into the faces of my loved ones who scream and claw at their own eyes uselessly as I bleed out, unconscious. The dog finds the rest of the hot dog before anyone else arrives.*

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:53

IUG: Jul 14, 2007

My wife is 18 weeks pregnant and I took a face dive into some steps due my sandals catching. Do I qualify? Y/n

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:55

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

gently caress it, i'm calling it a day

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:55

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

*grits teeth* GOOD

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:56

Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

watch this kids *proceeds to suck on own toe*

# ? Jul 26, 2020 02:59

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

*unzips pants and furiously begins jacking off*

"OOOOOOOOHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!"

# ? Jul 26, 2020 03:01

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Fuuuuuu *sees little Moon Slayer sitting in the other room * uuudge.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 03:03

R.L. Stine: Oct 19, 2007; welcome to dead gay house

i immediately scream at my children to call 911

# ? Jul 26, 2020 03:06

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

I HATE YOU AND NEVER SHOULD HAVE MARRIED YOUR MOM! Ooops...

No I'm fine, it was nothing just forget about it.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 03:23

nishi koichi: Feb 16, 2007; everyone feels that way and gives up.
that's how they get away with it.

rackinfrackin-sonuva-hominafriggin-ferga-rassinfrassin-goddam-gergin-frig

# ? Jul 26, 2020 03:45

Sgt. Politeness: Sep 29, 2003; I've seen shit you people wouldn't believe. Cop cars on fire off the shoulder of I-94. I watched search lights glitter in the dark near the Ambassador Bridge. All those moments will be lost in time, like piss in the drain. Time to retch.

Aw mother-scratchin' son-of-a-biscuit!!!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 03:56

Victis: Mar 26, 2008

chinga tu madre

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:01

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

dag nabbit!!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:25

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

Ahhhppppshit

drat

Gimme a sec

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:26

Inverted Icon: Apr 8, 2020; by Athanatos

I'm a dad and I just stubbed my toe

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:26

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

im sorry toe. i love you and i hope you can forgive me.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:29

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

I hosed YOUR MOTHER!!!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:30

BobTheVillain: Apr 25, 2009; The perfect counter argument, coming right up.

�Take that, toe! You piece of poo poo.�

# ? Jul 26, 2020 04:36

You Are A Werewolf: Apr 26, 2010; Black Gold!

MOTHER-GENTLY CARESSING POO POO!!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:01

e-dt: Sep 16, 2019

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:08

CarpenterWalrus: Mar 30, 2010; The Lazy Satanist

Mother FUUUNNGeit!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:09

Fartington Butts: Jan 21, 2007

*spits out whisky at 2am* MOTHER FUCKER WHO FUCKIN DID THIS *slams into counter* IM GONNA.. gently caress YOU *falls asleep halfway on living room couch*

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:10

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

"I have shamed my family."

*commits seppuku*

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:13

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I hate my life

And my toe hurts

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:23

RepeatingMeme: Dec 27, 2012; this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

DAG Nabbit! Conswarnit sonuva bajesus

# ? Jul 26, 2020 05:55

Elentor: Dec 14, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Aaaaaaaah caralho de inferno da porra de porta taquepariu ainda quebrou a unha se fuder caaaraaaaaalhooooooooooo

# ? Jul 26, 2020 06:02

a peck of pickled peckers: Aug 3, 2014; I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

"THAT'S IT I'M FINALLY GOING TO DO IT! I'M FINALLY GOING TO PUT AN END TO THIS! I CANT EVEN WALK NORMAL SO I MIGHT AS WELL JUST loving DO IT. I'M PUTTING ONE ROUND IN THE SHOTGUN AND THEN IM STICKING THE BARREL IN MY MOUTH! gently caress! gently caress! AAAAHHHH!"

"Hon, do you have to be so dramatic??!"

# ? Jul 26, 2020 06:09