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the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
That's right boys you know what day it is, it's July 27th and the transfer window has been cracked open once again


<Big Club> coming to steal ur players

Idk about other leagues which may still be being played but in the premier league, which I am now super interested in for some reason, its time. strap yourselves in for 10 scorching weeks of:

  • tedious net spend arguments
  • tedious net spend graphs
  • pretending to have thoughts and views on the 17 year old winger your team just picked up from the Greek leagues
  • pretending to have thoughts and views on the Italian golden boot winner your team just signed because you dont want to admit that you only watch match of the day and even then only the first half hour
  • grainy youtube highlight videos
  • eye-watering fees
  • ring-stinging wage demands

and of course probably some :siren:DONE DEALS:siren:

itt a DONE DEAL is only a DONE DEAL if it is accompanied by one of the following sorts of pictures:


Holding a shirt, preferably as though it's just been used to wipe down a covid isolation ward


Holding a scarf, ideally on the pitch although in the players tunnel is also acceptable


Pen and contract in hand, with manager and/or director in close proximity to give a nice 'hostage video' vibe

This is set to be a really weird transfer window as one would assume that the big clubs will be wanting to reduce the wage bill since revenues are down and other teams will be wary of making big spends, but on the other hand money is meaningless and how else are all your favourite agents going to make a living.

Who are your favourite transfers. Who are your best teams interested in. How many net spend graphs do you have. Are Leeds going to sign Zlatan and Cavani as has been reported (no, but can you imagine). Transfers, let's have em

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Jippa
Feb 13, 2009
I 'm ready for a tedious drawn out transfer battle between spurs and everton for hojbjerg.

Breath Ray
Nov 19, 2010
an exciting close season beckons at sheffield wednesday. we cant pay the players we do have, our stadium now belongs to a thai fish finger magnate whos been trying to sell the club for 18 months and whose 11yo son has been dictating transfer policy, and we look set to be deducted nine points to finish second bottom of the league. never mind a boring old transfer ban; we can also look forward to relegation and losing our top scorer on a free ftw

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
A cursory glance at the Leeds rumours tell me that a suitable bid has been made for Gent striker Jonathan David. I know nothing about him but someone who's played in the europa league with 33 goals in 67 games is fairly tasty, plus he's Canadian and I'm pretty sure Leeds have never had one of those before so that would be nice.

Also some Argentinian who was in a top 100 best young players list the other year has turned down Man United to work with Bielsa:

quote:

“I would like Bielsa to coach me. My friends sent me something about Bielsa, but I am calm. Whether it happens or not, we have to see.
“I don’t watch much soccer, but I saw some Leeds highlights and I saw something similar to what we did in Velez with (Gabriel) Heinze.”

Don't know if I like the sound of a footballer who doesn't watch much football but if he did actually swerve Man U he'd be very welcome imo.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.
Noted Anti Vaxx dobber Dejan Lovren has been turfed off to Zenit


https://www.liverpoolfc.com/news/first-team/403751-dejan-lovren-leaves-lfc-for-zenit-st-petersburg



https://twitter.com/LFC/status/1287723913577996288?s=20


So Done Deal


Shaman Tank Spec
Dec 26, 2003

*blep*



United will claim they're signing half a new team. The press will link United to every player in Europe. In the end Woodward will negotiate 8 weeks to sign someone from the Championship, give Lingard and Pereira new deals and call it a day.

Ole will bravely smile through the tears and I will make angry posts about Ed Woodward.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
thank god lovren finally hosed off

I've heard rumours Liverpool are interested in Adama Traore and you know what, I'd be okay with that

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
when the gently caress are the premier league gonna make a decision on the saudis ffs

Breath Ray
Nov 19, 2010
cant be many players whove won the world cup, cl and prem in successive seasons and lovren just missed out

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Breath Ray posted:

cant be many players whove won the world cup, cl and prem in successive seasons and lovren just missed out

Prem no but half of the Spain squad probably did it a decade ago with La Liga.

Blasmeister
Jan 15, 2012




2Time TRP Sack Race Champion

I’m gonna spend the entire offseason hoping Brendan has all the Young English Talent(tm) locked in a cage somewhere guarded with a shotgun and also maybe we find the mythical vardy replacement that keeps eluding us.

Breath Ray
Nov 19, 2010

Shrapnig posted:

Prem no but half of the Spain squad probably did it a decade ago with La Liga.

that whole spain squad was hopped up on goofballs though

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
Fairly loving cool to go into a transfer window not worrying that Kalvin Phillips is going to be sold to a bottom half prem team for £2.5 million

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth
Stocky Wales midfielder George Thomas has signed for Queens Park Rangers.

https://twitter.com/QPR/status/1287754174340501504?s=20

kcer
May 28, 2004

Today is good weather
for an airstrike.

Jose posted:

when the gently caress are the premier league gonna make a decision on the saudis ffs

i've given up tbh i hope i'm wrong but surely an issue or issues that would cause it to drag on for this long aren't ones that can be overcome

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
Lallana to brighton is a done deal

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
chelsea are working to replace World's Most Expensive Goalkeeper kepa lol

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013




vyelkin posted:

chelsea are working to replace World's Most Expensive Goalkeeper kepa lol

Here's a fun game, look at Chelsea's goals against then look down the table to find the first team to match/concede more (I'll wait)



nice goals scored though

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




Bundy posted:

Here's a fun game, look at Chelsea's goals against then look down the table to find the first team to match/concede more (I'll wait)



nice goals scored though

i lol'd more at City scoring 102 goals and finishing second

turns out beating Watford 8-0 and Norwich 5-0 don't mean poo poo when you can't beat Wolves

Ungratek
Aug 2, 2005


City scored the most goals, best GD, most clean sheets, and finished second.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Ungratek posted:

City scored the most goals, best GD, most clean sheets, and finished second.

We had a lot of 1-0 wins, especially after Christmas when form dipped a lot but we kept winning matches (usually through Mane scoring in like the 89th minute)

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
also 13% of leicester's goals came in one match

Vegetable
Oct 22, 2010

Ungratek posted:

City scored the most goals, best GD, most clean sheets, and finished second.
they should get a trophy for that

pik_d
Feb 24, 2006

follow the white dove





TRP Post of the Month October 2021

Vegetable posted:

they should get a trophy for that

Well Ederson did at least!

https://twitter.com/ManCity/status/1287439426939957249

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

What's the trophy Kev is holding?

Edit: I've zoomed and enhanced and it's the trophy for most assists, which was created three years ago

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

Jose posted:

Lallana to brighton is a done deal



That Brighton kit is lovely

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---

the sex ghost posted:

A cursory glance at the Leeds rumours tell me that a suitable bid has been made for Gent striker Jonathan David. I know nothing about him but someone who's played in the europa league with 33 goals in 67 games is fairly tasty, plus he's Canadian and I'm pretty sure Leeds have never had one of those before so that would be nice.

Hello, I am a Gent supporter and watched David play a ton. He owns and you can only have him if you give us all the money in return. All the money in this case is anything over 25 million EUR fyi

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013




the sex ghost posted:



That Brighton kit is lovely

The Amex bit loving the stripes is bugging me immensely

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
I like both that kit and the Brighton top Lallana is wearing in that picture

Breath Ray
Nov 19, 2010
we had a kit like that once exept it looked like an edit someone made in pro evo

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

I'm looking forward to Kia joorabchain getting us to sign ageing players on wages that would make Ozil blush.

Allegedly we signed Leno for more than his release clause because it went through intermediaries. The countinho rumours have me nervous but at least orney has positive sounding news from the club about Auba

Breath Ray
Nov 19, 2010

Loving Africa Chaps posted:

I'm looking forward to Kia joorabchain getting us to sign ageing players on wages that would make Ozil blush.

Allegedly we signed Leno for more than his release clause because it went through intermediaries. The countinho rumours have me nervous but at least orney has positive sounding news from the club about Auba

sounds like you got Bernd haha

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
An early frontrunner for endless transfer saga of the window - Man United have apparently made an offer of 89m for Sancho and have been laughed out the door. They have until 10th August when they start training camp to make a sensible (120m) offer or he's going nowhere.

Can't wait for their subsequent offers of 89m, 85m, 89.5m and finally 200m

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013




the sex ghost posted:

An early frontrunner for endless transfer saga of the window - Man United have apparently made an offer of 89m for Sancho and have been laughed out the door. They have until 10th August when they start training camp to make a sensible (120m) offer or he's going nowhere.

Can't wait for their subsequent offers of 89m, 85m, 89.5m and finally 200m

Der Shovel is gonna have an anger stroke lol

Gorn Myson
Aug 8, 2007






You missed at the bit where Ed Woodward phones up and gives them a deadline to make a decision and then is baffled when they don't get back to him.

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013




*Puts on off the rack three piece suit and huge false moustache* Hello Mr Edward Woodwouldward I am Jordon Soncho's lawyer how can I help

pik_d
Feb 24, 2006

follow the white dove





TRP Post of the Month October 2021
City seem to be close to a deal with Valencia for Ferran Torres for about €25m-30m plus €10m-15m in add ons. He's only got one year left and wants to leave, but seems to be a good dribbler so should be a decent replacement for Sane if he lives up to the hype.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc
Spurs seem linked to Callum Wilson.

I wonder if that'll happen.

Breath Ray
Nov 19, 2010
wonder if phil billing will get his dream move to a third relegatable club

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tetsuo
May 12, 2001

I am a shaman, magician

Jose posted:

when the gently caress are the premier league gonna make a decision on the saudis ffs
The hold up is apparently with Ashley right now. This Week For Sure®.

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