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Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


Dogs. No one knows where they come from but they're here and they're here to stay.

For the most part this has been a good thing! Dogs are cool. They can run and jump and sit! They can eat and be your friend. But then some clown decided to transform them into something horrible and now I'm personally stuck having to see an occasional bichon frise. Yuck!

How is it an animal can elicit such range of emotion? If I see a St. Bernard, a Bernese mountain dog, a Samoyed, a retriever etc, I am filled with joy but when I see a dog like a bichon frise I actually feel repulsed? I'm the kind of idiot who isn't bothered by critters like maggots, house centipedes, wasps or parasitic liver flukes but then someone's beloved pet makes me all grossed out.

seriously their eyes get all crusty and stained and I've never met one that wasn't a complete annoying growling twit. I know it's not their fault and they only exist because people decided to smash increasingly ugly dogs together. Maybe a goon owns one that isn't a complete sack of crust? Can dogism be overcome?

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my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Dogs are cool OP

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


i would argue that 90-95% of dogs are cool. the dog in your avatar, for example, is cool.

deadwing
Mar 5, 2007



pit bulls

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011




i'll grant that this one may have been cleaned up for the photo, but it's equally likely the owners you've met just all suck at taking care of their dogs

cats are better anyway

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Only a cocker spaniel who is mostly matted fur and eyeboogers, but loves you unconditionally can overcome your dogism OP.

LOVE LOVE SKELETON
Nov 11, 2007




Lipstick Apathy

borzoi look like some silent hill poo poo and i refuse to be near one

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


Ignatius M. Meen posted:



i'll grant that this one may have been cleaned up for the photo, but it's equally likely the owners you've met just all suck at taking care of their dogs

cats are better anyway

They're definitely more acceptable when they let the fur grow out and they just end up looking like a funny person but yeah, I've known a family that had just the worst bichon frise ever. Visually and behaviorally.

It'd pee on anything brought into the house. Was very yappy and growled when approached. It would get pissed off if you went into the hallway to go to the bathroom. It shat all over their basement. His stupid wiener would always be out and he'd try to hump you. It was not a pleasant creature to be around.

They gave it away to someone who seemed like they knew what they were doing and ended up with a cat who was way way way way way way more pleasant.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011


LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

borzoi look like some silent hill poo poo and i refuse to be near one



wow, thought that might be shopped or intentionally distorted somehow but even still...



definitely would make a rad silent hill dog though

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


my dog died im sad posted:

Only a cocker spaniel who is mostly matted fur and eyeboogers, but loves you unconditionally can overcome your dogism OP.

Good lord no. Please. Anything but that.

That's like when a cat that's mostly sores and testicles that wants to be really really nice to you.

v: yeah, small white curly dogs are gross. I'm imagining a grey one and it's not so bad. Haha I'm giving him a treat!

Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Aug 1, 2020

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

Little white dogs suck

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012



Op is right

Dogs are great but what we've done to them is poo poo

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr
Dec 22, 2018


Noblesse Obliged posted:

Op is right

Dogs are great but what we've done to them is poo poo

I wish aliens would do to us what we have done to dogs.

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


I think the only other animals we may have hosed around so much with very little regard for the actual offspring are pigeons and goldfish. People have basically bred them to have incredibly malformed skeletons.

Pugs are funny because they can't breathe.

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

I wish aliens would do to us what we have done to dogs.

ouf, well. There's definitely speculative fiction out there if you really have to scratch that itch. It's definitely a freaky thought experiment.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012



Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

I wish aliens would do to us what we have done to dogs.

They have. Not even they selectively bred you though

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

I wish aliens would do to us what we have done to dogs.

Look up "All Tomorrows" by C. M. Kosemen for a great illustrated book about exactly this.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long


deadwing posted:

pit bulls

Paging lowtax and his wrong opinion.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

Plant MONSTER. posted:

I think the only other animals we may have hosed around so much with very little regard for the actual offspring are pigeons and goldfish. People have basically bred them to have incredibly malformed skeletons.

Pugs are funny because they can't breathe.


ouf, well. There's definitely speculative fiction out there if you really have to scratch that itch. It's definitely a freaky thought experiment.
dogs have extremely unusual genetic variance within the species
if you tried to breed subspecies of rats that have as much difference from each other as a chow-chow does from a chihuahua you could not do it

it kind of seems like historically we breed dogs for traits and their skeletons and fur just morph insanely in the process for no reason

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

I wish aliens would do to us what we have done to dogs.

maybe they already have

The_Continental
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


PinheadSlim posted:

Look up "All Tomorrows" by C. M. Kosemen for a great illustrated book about exactly this.


Cool, well this is a bit of a rabbit hole:

https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Cate...orrows_Universe

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


Chihuahuas fuckin suck and are bad dogs

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012



Only humans could breed an animal that is allergic to it's own soul

smoobles
Sep 4, 2014



Colonel Cancer posted:

Chihuahuas fuckin suck and are bad dogs

Hey gently caress you #notallchihuahuas are bad, mine is super chill and friendly

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


Cubone posted:

dogs have extremely unusual genetic variance within the species
if you tried to breed subspecies of rats that have as much difference from each other as a chow-chow does from a chihuahua you could not do it

it kind of seems like historically we breed dogs for traits and their skeletons and fur just morph insanely in the process for no reason

Ah, that's incredibly interesting. Makes sense, canines can do a lot of interspecific breeding.

Like roses!

Myron Baloney
Mar 19, 2002

I believe in romance


Wedge Regret

Ignatius M. Meen posted:



i'll grant that this one may have been cleaned up for the photo, but it's equally likely the owners you've met just all suck at taking care of their dogs

cats are better anyway

Yeah I've thought about those at some length, it's the stupid domed hemisphere at the top of the skull that was the big mistake. The other parts are just standard dog stuff.

edit: the name is dumb as gently caress too, come to think of it.

The_Continental
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


Colonel Cancer posted:

Chihuahuas fuckin suck and are bad dogs

While I feel chihuahuas are fairly well known as nippy little psychos; Dachshunds can also be aggressive little shits. They tend to attract the same sort of owner who thinks they are cute, and wants a "small dog" because they equate small with "easy to care for".

They don't realize these lil suckers are energetic, stubborn, scent hounds that were developed to drive badgers out of their burrows. Just the other day on the elevator I had one frothing to take a chunk out of my calf muscle while its bejeweled phone, canary yellow track suit wearing, giant sunglasses, knock off fendi bag carrying owner feebly attempted to control it while on a phone call. I was essentially pinned to the corner of the lift and she just made the white person smile face at me:


and mouthed "sorry" while I contemplated what my future would be like if I ended up on twitter as "guy who kicks cute wiener dog on elevator".

vyst
Aug 25, 2009





Bernese mountain dogs are objectively the cutest

Matlack Radio
Jun 2, 2006



Soiled Meat

Longhair Afghan Hounds(Saruman dogs) are hideous.



97% of dalmatians are unredeemable beasts of discourtesy.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

not a fan of people forcing their dogs to learn elaborate tricks for nothing but the owners entertainment

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


more than anything i wanted to be proven wrong...not be surrounded by other dogists!

you should check out my dog, he's green

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8xLnStoNC8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-p747h4HKw

Mrs. Sexual
Feb 3, 2020


Drimble Wedge
Mar 10, 2008

Self-contained


Brachycephalic breeds like pugs and shih tzus are revolting and should be allowed to go extinct. Dogs that can't breathe properly aren't cute.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


It's because you're a moron.

The_Continental
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


gary oldmans diary posted:

not a fan of people forcing their dogs to learn elaborate tricks for nothing but the owners entertainment

Most dogs enjoy the training process because the most effective way to train is through positive reinforcement. Its one of the best ways for an owner to bond with their dog.

RobotsLoveSpectres
Dec 29, 2008







vyst posted:

Bernese mountain dogs are objectively the cutest

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


smoobles posted:

Hey gently caress you #notallchihuahuas are bad, mine is super chill and friendly

Chihuahuas generally have good temperaments, so do Bichons (which is one of the most well mannered breeds). There's just an odd stereotype against them because, as usual, chihuahuas were (and still are) a popular breed, and when a breed is popular the amount of incompetent owners increases proportionally. I've known as many heinously poorly trained Pirs, Labs, Retrievers, Shibas, etc. as any other breed. If the breed is popular it will have tons of examples of irresponsible owners. People buy and adopt dogs on a whim.

People just project weird personal poo poo onto animals. From all the vet tech work I've done I've known a staggering amount of people with animus against small breeds because they consider them "gay" or effete. People who treat dogs as status symbols are uniformly garbage. So do people who instinctually loathe breeds because of the owner's stupidity.

At least have some awareness of your own brainless bias before getting bizarrely mad at small dogs.

Honestly if most people realized that they can't have a loving Pit in their tiny rear end apartment and just got a small breed the world would be a much better place with way less Pits in shelters because people just always want the hot-ticket status breed instead of something that actually suits their circumstances.

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


bichon brisť

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Chihuahuas generally have good temperaments, so do Bichons (which is one of the most well mannered breeds). There's just an odd stereotype against them because, as usual, chihuahuas were (and still are) a popular breed, and when a breed is popular the amount of incompetent owners increases proportionally. I've known as many heinously poorly trained Pirs, Labs, Retrievers, Shibas, etc. as any other breed. If the breed is popular it will have tons of examples of irresponsible owners. People buy and adopt dogs on a whim.

People just project weird personal poo poo onto animals. From all the vet tech work I've done I've known a staggering amount of people with animus against small breeds because they consider them "gay" or effete. People who treat dogs as status symbols are uniformly garbage. So do people who instinctually loathe breeds because of the owner's stupidity.

At least have some awareness of your own brainless bias before getting bizarrely mad at small dogs.

Honestly if most people realized that they can't have a loving Pit in their tiny rear end apartment and just got a small breed the world would be a much better place with way less Pits in shelters because people just always want the hot-ticket status breed instead of something that actually suits their circumstances.

Little white dogs DO suck rear end, tho

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