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May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

I blame Cainfortea for this!

FarScape: The little brother to SG-1, perhaps. Another sci fi phenomenon from the end of 90's, filmed on a razor thin budget and with puppet aliens instead of only rubber forehead aliens. Probably deserves it's own thread in Sci-Fi WiFi.

But for now, I'm going to do a blind watch of it, at least up till the end of season 2 to see if it catches my fancy (I think it will). It's going to be a fly-by commentary like Sanguinia does for SG-1. With probably less cool information in it, alas.

CainForTea has also raised interest in a blind watch, so I hope to see them join in, and any others, of course. I'm planning to do 3 episodes a week, but if other blind watchers want to take it slower I'll probably just write my thoughts, save them and post later.

I'm warned that the first few episode listings on Amazon Prime is wrong, and it should be:

I, E.T.
Exodus from Genesis
Throne for a Loss
Back and Back and Back
Thank God It's Friday, Again
PK Tech Girl

I'm going to be watching them in that order.

Before diving deeper into the first episode, a few choice quotes from around SA


Farscape introduced me to Claudia Black. And I will be forever be grateful for this. She owns bones.

Test Pattern posted:

wholesome American boy finds himself in the Australian leather/BDSM scene and goes native.

And if a blind watch thread isn't to your taste, there's a few (mostly dead) threads about FarScape in TV-IV:

Farscape: Worms and their holes (still postable)

Why in the yotz don't we have a Farscape thread? (dead and archived)
Docbeard Reviews Farscape - Look Upward And Share The Wonders I've Seen (dead and archived)

As usual with blind watch threads, please don't spoil stuff, thanks!


May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

Farscape S1E1 - Premiere aka 'You can be more'

We open up at dawn to a shot of a shuttle, with our pretty boy lead character staring intently at it. The sun's going to damage his optic nerves, though.
Well, we're off to a good start! They're in a... high school? The lockers in the background are distracting me. Our lead boy and his childhood friend give some backstory about why they're there.
I'm not sure breaking quarantine is a good idea, John, but you do you, you're the lead.
Oh look, stock footage of a shuttle launch.
Dad's send-off is cute, but I don't think NASA/whatever space agency was going full airjocks as astronauts in 1999, so the (veiled) egghead comment is a bit off for people following that kind of thing. However it shows that Crichton is chafing under what his dad was up to in his glory days. His dad, however, isn't holding him up to an impossibly high standard.
More stock footage!
And our first CGI, I guess. Wow, that IS dated. Sound design is alright, so things at least move along.

Slingshotting around a planet isn't a new concept - especially for the Kerbal Space Program players out there. Basically, by allowing a planetary body to pull you in a slightly different direction, you gain speed. You also rob the planetary body's momentum. They're huge compared to your spacecraft, so they don't lose that much, but your tiny can with rockets attached gets a speed boost - relative to the sun, mind you. So using that for manned interstellar travel, as the voiceover claims, is a bust unless there's like, a wormhole or something (). Or you solved cryogenics.

We've been using gravity assists and slingshots since 1959 - the first one by the russian Luna 3 to take pictures of Moon's nether regions dark side. Voyager, Galileo, Cassini, Rosetta - they all used slingshots to get around.

So, they launch their small experimental shuttle in orbit, and it shoots off like a bat out of hell. Now, orbits and atmospheres aren't exactly stable, but I feel like there's just too much atmosphere where he is, with all the plasma covering the craft. Also, orbital mechanics is like 3 weird little goblins standing on top of each other, :technobabble: oh look he gets hit by an EM storm and gets sucked into a wormhole. The little 'Uh... Canaveral?' at the end was nice.

Oh no, disaster! He gets hit by a fighter and gets tractored into a big ship.
That's a cute little critter.
Fire extinguisher? In a single pilot cabin? Fire in space is very, very dangerous. At least NASA or IASA is giving him a way to suffocate himself before the fire gets him. I shouldn't be that harsh on the lack of realism though, FarScape isn't for that.

And yes, finally! Our aliens! Actually speaking an alien language! And first thing Crichton says is Hi, lol. Well, any alien civilization that manages to co-exist with other alien civilizations is going to have to solve the translation problem, and for FarScape it's a red serum. Love the voice design of alien language changing into understandable english! Shame we won't get a similar scene, probably.

The aliens are in trouble, and want the secrets Crichton doesn't have re: wormholes. We get to see our first talking puppet alien, as well as the name of the ship, Moya. I've been told the ship is also a character unto itself, so, names matter.

Our Not-a-Klingon dude starts tearing through scenery, to get rid of the Control Collar, somehow. And against all odds, he manages to do it by destroying more scenery.

See, the prowlers get full masks and atmospheric tubes, why can't Crichton?

Starburst animation is *cool*.

Bad guy going 'casualties, meh' then realizing one of them is his brother feels cliche. But I guess Farscape was one of the first to do it in sci-fi. And oh look, it's Crichton dead in the proverbial water and the lauded brother clips him. Maybe he was distracted?

I have to say their monitor design sucks rear end.

And then we have a scene where aliens spit and lick Crichton. I'm not sure what purpose this scene served, except other than to show our not-klingon guy's saliva can knock people out?

And now we have names! Ka is our klingon-with-wrong-prostethics and Pa'u the hot blue babe. She's ...flirting with Ka, I think? Then Ka kills the mood by asking why she's imprisoned, and she returns with 'leading anarchist'. Ka's in for killing his commanding officer, and is a bit of a young brash guy, apparently. However, he survived a 'maximum security' planet, and its mines, to the surpise of Pa'u. Peacekeepers don't sound peaceful at all. Pa'u dials down the flirting factor and they come to a bit of an understanding between each other.

Back to Crichton, where he wakes up... naked. I was expecting at least a butt-shot, FarScape! Then we get the name of the other puppet alien, Rygel XVI, dominar to lotsa people. I have a feeling he's bullshitting.

Oh boy, Crichton, you have brain worms now! Everyone else gets it at birth, I'm sure it won't cause any issues.

Oh hi, prowler pilot! Enter Claudia Black, playing Aeryn Sun. She kicks Crichton's rear end. Poor dude can't catch a break. They both think the other is their own race. The aliens putting them together makes more sense now, but then the illusion is broken.

Back to Evil Guy and his inability to accept his brother was a lovely pilot. The techs do a ZOOM! ENHANCE! and they drop a new name - Sebacean. We'll see if it ever gets brought back up.

Back on Moya, Crichton tries to find out where he is, and learns about the ship he's in - a bio-mechanoid. It's aliiiiive!

It's feeding time, and Crichton asks an intelligent question - why waste effort feeding a stranger and an enemy? To get their knowledge, replies Aeryn.

The aliens get their report from the Pilot - they need fluid for Moya, and they're approaching a planet they can get it. Rygel claims he caused their escape, but I still don't trust the guy.

Wait is that helium? lmao

Ah, they're using a shuttle to enter the atmosphere of this new, alien planet instead of the flying brick that is Moya, good. Rygel is failing at bartering. I like the alien merchant's design.

In the meantime, Aeryn and Crichton are debating how to break out from a prison cell in a prisoner ship. Johnny boy surprises everyone by handing Aeryn the fork he smuggled. Then he gets schooled by Aeryn. And off they go in a prowler. Somehow they both fit in there. A short phone call later the carrier is on it's way. And it's here! Immediately. There's a power-rangers-season-1 tier fight with Ka and peacekeeper mooks, and then a bit of an impromptu interrogation of our boy John.


Cap'n Grais, your brother sucked. Then the laws of villainy requires him to gush about dissecting John and dismissing Aeryn. They're taken away and while getting searched John pulls the handgun off of the two bumbling idiot guards in balaclavas. He then has another bright idea - trust the alien that wants to escape and not the alien that's also from the peacekeeper corps. For a fish out of water dude, he's doing okay, all things considered.

And we have our philosophical clash - stratified into being the perfect soldier and nothing else, versus John's way of 'leave your shackles behind and be more. It's a good message.

They somehow fit in 3 people into the prowler. Will the wonders never cease? The enemy carrier is closing in and they're locking on their flak cannons. C'mon John, Unreal came out a year before. You should know what a flak is, and a cannon is obvious. Which of course is just glowing balls in the show's reality, but still.

Crichton tries his best to help the situation - by math. He has to calculate an orbital trajectory in a star system he doesn't know, with a ship he's not familiar with which flies by a system he has no idea of. While Jebediah Kerman is crying in the background for all the rules of orbital mechanics that lies dead, they pull off the maneuver and successfully escape.

Aight, so it's gonna be one of those kinds of sci fi, oh well.

After that adrenaline filled escape, everyone tries to spend some time alone. John is checking his shuttle, Ka is sharpening his hugeass sword, Pa'u is being sexy and naked. Ka happens upon John on a corridor and lays down his rules - do NOT threaten his freedom. Aeryn then shows herself from behind some scenery and tries to belittle Ka's race, but Crichton sees thru that poo poo. They're on the run, who cares about peacekeepers, right? Wrong. Crais, the evil guy, is so hell bent on getting revenge for his brother's lovely piloting he's sure to follow them. Then she remarks John should choose his allies carefully... but no guarantees if she will be able to help him either.

John then fixes the small droid he damaged while recording a voicetape for his dad. Rygel decides to come by and be a dick as usual.

We end the episode with a great shot of Moya traveling in front of a galaxy.

Apart from the parts involving orbital mechanics and shuttles, it was an okay first episode. They didn't waste too much time with establishing shots to pad the timer, the CGI and the sets were passable if dated. I'd love to see the organic parts of Moya being ramped the gently caress up, though. Music and sound design was alright. The bonus point is practical effects and the puppet aliens. They still hold up.

As for general impressions, it does an alright job at 'fish out of water' experience. John isn't stupid but he's got no reference frames to put himself into. Whenever he found an opening though, he did act. Another part I liked was that no one was holding the idiot ball - things happened without anyone being willfully obtuse or whatever.

Final verdict: 3.5 out of 5.

Musluk fucked around with this message at 19:57 on Aug 2, 2020

Oct 15, 2004

Hello, apparently this is my fault.

I'm going to join, and watch through at least season 2. I have watched some of Farscape before, but bounced off it. And all I remember about it is "Human ends up across the universe" so it's basically a blind watch.

I'm not going to go so deep into it as Musluk's great writups are. I'm just going to be recording my reactions as they come while I watch each episode.

That being said, i've already watched 4 of them and kept my notes. This was before I found out about amazon having them out of order.

S1E1 - Premier

"Boy was Spielberg ever wrong."

Starting off kind of low budget, getting suited up in what appears to be a conference center locker room.

Duder's got the non-plussed reaction down pretty well though.

Sort of weird why a janitor bot has a universal translator syringe, but I like the little bot. I also like blue lady and angry man. They did a good job with the look on them, avoiding the star trek forehead alien thing by gussying up the rest of their look a lot to hide that there's very little actual prosthetics. Also the puppetry is really well done.

Oh, nevermind, bad guys are just humans.

Oh, captain guy super mad that his brother is a bad pilot and going to blame the human. And angry man just put him to sleep. pretty funny how everyone's dumping on him.

D'argo, stop being so thirsty!

Chriton, stop being so thirsty!

Wait, peacekeeper's only difference from humans is some weird bacteria? I wonder if this is going to come up again.

Also, being able to fart helium would be cool.

Crais is such a snidley whiplash bad guy. I wonder if he's going to stick around for a while or gonna bite it early.

"You can be more" is a pretty good line too. The whole escape using Chriton's theory was a cool callback i wasn't expecting. Though I did chuckle at "really precise" apparently a 10 degree window.

I wonder if these tape logs do his dad are going to be a regular thing. It's a nice tie in to his normal life.

S1E2 - Exodus from Genesis

"it's not worth much. It's all I got"

Oh god I thought he was going to swallow the dentic when the ship shook.

Does Pilot have an actual name? Or is his name Pilot? Also I hope Moya gets cleaned up, she's still got the marks from the control collar.

Moya's gonna get space covid Also the way they make Chriton's speech sound musical for the opening is pretty rad.

I can't tell if this is one of those things where the show created the trope is doing it, or not. The whole "human special power is friendship" thing is pretty well overdone at this point. I suppose it wasn't back when this first aired.

You can't ID a bug that you've smashed into paste dude! D'Argo, don't piss of the giant living creature you need to live. And cutting off fingers isn't a good plan usually.

Why don't they put Aeryn in her little ship and tow it off the back? I suppose there's also a SLIGHTLY bigger difference between humans and peacekeeper's than some bacteria. Blue Druid lady needs to re-examine some things maybe. Also I like the idea that these copies are just a bunch of bugs wearing a trenchcoat.

Pilot is a lot bigger than I thought he would be. Also shut up Rygel you finally have ONE good use. Do it.

Nope, guess finger cutting would have been the better plan. Also this story took a wild turn I wasn't expecting. It's like when you're playing DnD and the bard manages to stop the combat. Maybe they can give the Maurader ship to the Drak to do their life cycle thing. These maurader's eyebrow game is NOT on point.

Nope, gonna just bluff it out.

That's a cool terrace. No dad log.

S1E3 - Back and Back and Back to the Future

"We have air in here!"

If the human is involved. they're going to poke the thing. That's what humans do. I do like how "we have consensus" assuming you ignore Rygel. As everyone should.

Glowy green fire? BETTER TOUCH IT!

Also, the music for this show so far is really fuckin great. They really make things stressful without doing the normal "37 string instruments screeching at once" thing.

Chriton seeing future horny. And Aeryn seems oddly jealous.

This whole genetic cousins between the two races thing seems oddly forced. Like they're being overly polite as if they were trying to wear a mask.

Matala is layin it on really thick with D'Argo. Also scientist guy staring like a creeper while they're flirting.

Watching Chriton freak out is fun. This actor is really good at that. Also the blue druid lady really living up to the aesthetic vibe.

I'm putting my money on the war against the Scorvians was started by the Illarian(sp?) species.

No one aboard this ship is a Scorvian spy to the Scorvian spy. Lol.

Chriton is laying it all out to Verell, gonna turn out Verell is also a Skorvian or something.

He's groundhog daying.

AHAHAH, using D'Argo's hatred of Rygel to make him come alone. Perfect. And then taunting Rygel with a food cube when he's sick. Good, make that 1% puke himself.

I was kind of hoping for a bit where Chriton tells D'Argo that he doesn't actually know the crime. But maybe that was implied earlier?

S1E4 - Throne for a Loss

"Wyle Coyote would come up with a better plan than that!"

I'm ruined by the internet in that I immediately expected a Loss meme.

This is the most humanish boring sounding music so far. Generic rock.

Also: Bye rygel fuckoff forever I hope they don't rescue you! (I know they are. )

Did none of these kidnappers notice that none of the other people on this ship were the same species as Rygel?

I mean, D'Argo was already angry. Him roid raging isn't going to be any better.

I do like how everyone knows that Chriton's plan is going to involve something terrible. Also gently caress you D'Argo don't kick little robots.

Don't play mine is bigger than yours is with an anarchist druid.

Chriton should stop whining, this is Aeryn's lane.

Zhaan is freaky and awesome.

I hope at some point D'Argo and Aeryn get the whole "we hate eachother even though we are forced to work together" thing worked out soon. Maybe this will be it. Because it's getting kind of stale. Time move this along a bit. Oh, hey, as soon as I typed this it started happening.

Though now Rygel seems to be realizing he's an rear end and making everyone hate him. But this won't change anything in him i'm pretty sure.

Is this out of order? I swear D'Argo had used his gun sword before. And now it's acting like a big reveal.

hahaha, D'Argo has to be beaten to heal. That's right up his alley.

And yea, leave the addict prisoner who tried to kill people alone.

Chriton bit when he puts on the gauntlet feels like a nod to Egg Shen's potion.

I love it when people mistake calm for weakness and get owned.

"It's been so long since someone told me the truth I don't recognize it anymore" hits pretty given The Year Of Our Lord 2020

Poor Zhaan really felt like she got through to that kid.

I've got a problem now. Ep 5 isn't available on Prime Video even though I bought the whole first season. Actually Ep 5 and 7.

Can I just skip them entirely, or should I at least read a synopsis? Or spend more effort sourcing those episodes?

Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002

That's weird, we JUST finished Farscape on prime and all the episodes were on there. We did have that happen with Stargate, one night it said the next episode wasn't available but by the time we tried the next night, it was back. Just a glitch or something.

Anyway I have seen this about 3-4 times now, I can safely say that if you're committed to finish season 2 you'll have given it a more than fair shot, and if you don't like it by then you can quit, and also you must hate fun.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

Welp, guess I'm ordering the first season's dvd set - bluray isn't available here. Not that I have a blueray player either lol.

e: it's not just me or Cainfortea either, it seems.

Musluk fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Aug 3, 2020

Lt. Danger
Dec 22, 2006

jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

PK Tech Girl is good, don't skip it

Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002

Don't skip anything if you can help it, even the bad episodes, of which there are a few.

Oct 13, 2010

The Oncoming Storm

Wow, that really sucks. I wonder if anyone has tried contacting Amazon support.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

Well, when the dvd's arrive I guess I'll do a double episode post a few times. Stuff should go back to normal after ep 7, which is PK Tech Girl - which you guys say is good.

Oct 13, 2010

The Oncoming Storm

Musluk posted:

Well, when the dvd's arrive I guess I'll do a double episode post a few times. Stuff should go back to normal after ep 7, which is PK Tech Girl - which you guys say is good.

It's not only good, it's extremely important story-wise.

May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Grimey Drawer

Polaron posted:

It's not only good, it's extremely important story-wise.

This. The pilot and PK Tech Girl are what I'd say are the two unskippable episodes of the first season.

Oct 15, 2004

Turns out Farscape is on Vudu so i'm buying the two eps I'm missing there. I'm going to watch I, E.T. next even though amazon has PK Tech Girl next, because it apparently was supposed to be the 2nd episode.

S1E???? - I, E.T.

"No, not that rock."

That is a really annoying sound.

Poor robots. Always gettin messed up.

This planet looks like it's got cities and stuff on it. No one's going to notice a leviathan landing?

Why do they always call something an "element" when it's not an element and some kind of chemical compound? Anyway, that's going to be a big ole bottle of ether for a ship that size.

Wonder if they're about to get picked up by alien hillbillies.

Zhaan never seems to go off ship.

Whatever that antenna is that's behind the old barn looks like a bond villain designed it.

Chriton, don't charge people holding weapons. Just kind of a pro tip there.

Of course Rygel doesn't give a poo poo about Moya's pain.

I like how Chriton is bonding with an alien who's as much of a space nerd as he is.

Oh, for a second I thought she was trying to knock him out with some kind of compound that set his analyzer off. But guess she was just really freaking out.

God I hate Rygel. He's such a poo poo.

Also, D'Argo dude, you can't just punch your way through 20 dudes.

Man she gave Chriton a thirsty look after a kiss on the cheek.

Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002

CainFortea posted:

S1E???? - I, E.T.

"No, not that rock."

God I hate Rygel. He's such a poo poo.

Also, D'Argo dude, you can't just punch your way through 20 dudes.

There, you've now been properly introduced to both characters, lol

May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Grimey Drawer

Rygel starts terrible and by the end of the series you've forgotten he's a muppet. He's great.

Oct 15, 2004

I mean, as a character he's really fleshed out and the puppetry is great, and the voice actor really nails it. I just hate him cause he's a poo poo.

Oct 15, 2004

S1E???? - PK Tech Girl

"For a priest you certainly have a very flexible morality!"

Speaking of puppetry, the opening on Rygel's eye is really great here. Chriton's wonder is palpable.

"We might have charts to get home"

I didn't know they were lost. Also, I guess Pilot got an upgrade to color.

Notice Zhaan still staying on the ship. Does this actress just not do action scenes? I'm also not sure where this was supposed to be in order by Aeryn seems a lot calmer with D'Argo now.

Also I think Aeryn is compensating for her fear with that giant rear end gun. Is this going to be a callback to Alien? Normally folks don't carry big guns around at the hip.

Well, hope Rygel gets lost forever.

Also figures that the Sabatian's cultural treasure is a big rear end battleship.


Aeryn, that crispy corpse isn't going to jump up. You don't have to aim your gun at it.

D'Argo is no good at bluffing. I wonder if Chriton is ever going to introduce him to poker and clean him out.

These Xi'ang look cool. Also, Zhaan is very good at getting people to do things they don't want to do.

Kind of weird how Chriton is like "Yea I killed him but it was an accident"

Chriton trying to explain the bomb trope and then getting all kissey face with the one who's obviously going to try and betray him. I hope they all find someone soon.

If it takes them a minute to fire the plasma thing, and they had 2 hours to prep, why the hell didn't they just starburst out of there?

I wonder how this tech girl is going to die. Since she's gone in on the Moya's crew, but I can't see them adding a second peacekeeper to the crew. Especially now that her and Chriton got all giggity in the shield unit.

Woops! Got Caught! Aeryn is going to break your ribs dude. Don't follow her when she's mad.

AHAHAHA Aeryn professing she had interest in Chriton is so awkward and painful.

I can see trying to make Rygel more sympathetic with this whole torture bit. But I can't help but wonder how many millions of his subjects were tortured and he didn't care or notice.

AHHAHAA< that is amazing, a fire spitting frog. Also Tech Girl is really quick to pull a juliet. Aeryn just shoot the fucker. You have a gun!

Jesus Aeryn if you have to rapel down and shoot him from like 3 yards you need better training.

Even Zhaan doesn't trust the Tech girl.

I hope we see the Xi'ang again coming at D'Argo.

Oh, good, Tech Girl didn't die. I hope Crais doesn't kill her.

Also she really takes to human kissing.

Really Aeryn? The man who never knew aliens suddenly being dumped across the universe and is totally alone in a world he doesn't understand doesn't understand how it feels to be away from the world he knew?

Oh, never mind, she stands corrected.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1 dvd's arrived, time to see if my desktop's DVD drive is still working ,lol.

On to I, ET.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

So, fun fact. My desktop's dvd drive isn't working, I'm using a lovely laptop.

The dvd interface is in arabic.

And they named the episodes wrong, but they're in the correct order. So I watched PK Tech girl thinking it was I, ET.

Well, after I finish the correct I, ET, I can go back to amazon.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1E2 - I, ET aka "I'm not exactly what you expected, am I?"

We start the episode with a GOD AWFUL SOUND what he gently caress is that? John isn't happy about it either, and neither are the cute little robots. Huh, it's got an effect on Johnny boy. At least they know where it's coming from. They remove the cover and then for some reason take turns to look at cables.

Oh, it's an alarm that alerts the peacekeepers if you remove the collar. Aeryn didn't know about it because not ALL leviathans are enslaved with a collar. Wonder how many leviathans are there?

Oh no, not the little droid!

They try to remove the thing, but it's in vain. John then gets an idea - if they can't affect the signal source, alter the environment. Something other than vacuum, in this case, water vapor or bog, could block it. Then they talk about getting Moya down to the planet.

Now, let's assume the planet is similar to Mars - not that big of a gravity well, but heavier atmosphere. The thing about getting a spaceship down the atmosphere is an issue of speed. Orbiting is basically falling down and missing a planetary body. As an example, Phobos orbits Mars at roughly 9.5 km away (and no I'm not doing mile conversions, miles are stupid, get used to SI in orbitals - astronauts had to) and it has a whopping 2138 kilometers per second average speed. So we need to get that down to a comfortable 100 km/s somehow by using our engines.

Now, in real life, rockets are limited by fuel. Getting them up there is a pain, and what SpaceX did with reusable rockets is to use remaining fuel in the almost empty tanks to guide them to a landing pad and do a suicide burn, doing between 2g and 8g negative acceleration. Now, these are survivable numbers, but they're not nice.

As for Moya's engines, we don't know. It's probably ignoring the Tsiolkovsky rocket equation so it could be doable. It's definitely doing gravitational shenanigans anyway.

Anyway, they decide to do it. They get down to kilometers away from the surface and then they decide to strap down. Too late, idiots! Then they sink in the bog. Almost like they get sucked in. Rygel does a nice little monologue about mud. Guy sure knows his mud. Their gambit worked, however - the transmitter is bogged down. But oh no, it might all be in vain because it's sitting right next to Moya's spine so randomly cutting might kill her, too.

But wait, they could use chlorium as for Moya. John and Aeryn gear up to grab some. Aeryn has her doubts about everything, she's still trying to internalize how Peace Keepers cast her out. John reminds her that they're both unable to go home - with an added dash of involuntary blinking.

"Kinda like Louisiana, or Degobah"

John. Please. At least your version of Yoda is better than his presentation in the Prequels, though.

They take a hike around the swamps. Ka is frustrated because he didn't get points in 'tech use', Aeryn's class prevents her from sharing the secrets of Peace Keeper technology or she'll get penalties, so our resident nerd John gets to flex his brain muscles. Joking aside, it shows he listened to the Pilot when it came to equipment use, and retained that even though he's getting bombarded with new poo poo every waking moment.

Ambush! A buggy with 3 lights (this imagery keeps showing up with peacekeepers) drop off two goons with guns, then they get more reinforcements. The plan is to use the fighter classes to hold down the enemy while our astromech droid nerdy human goes to find chlorium. A few fake bird calls and the chase is on!

Back on the ship Pilot and Pa'u have a chat. Turns out Peace Keepers are humongous assholes. When capturing leviathans, they just hit them with tranqs, not caring if it'll kill them. And all this monkeying around with Chlorium might be moot anyway.

Meanwhile, John finds a barn with bunsen burners and a lotta fertilizer. He's having trouble with his comm-badge though, and the barn's occupants are creeping in. Oh no, he drops the comm badge like a redshirt. John then hides behind some crates, but the kid that barges in had some insane spot checks so he gets immediately found out. Bucktooth Alien Kiddo (BAK from now on) asks John where he's from. Upon hearing his name however, BAK takes off calling for mom. After barging in behind Bak, John gets a dose of electricity for his troubles from a ranged variant cattle prod.


Mommy Bucktooth comes in, and oh look she's a nerd too. We get the 'drops thing, thing shatters' trope. She then says 'oh my god' - I wonder what kind of gods these non elves have. John is doing his best magikarp impression in the background. He recovers a bit, and then we learn John IS the alien in this scenario - aka I, ET. If John and Bak ride a bike at the end, I'm outta here. John sprouts some tinfoil Qanon bullshit of choosing the lady and the kid, and they seem to bite that bait.

Oh god it's Rygel. Pa'u is trying to be diplomatic, but Rygel isn't convinced - until Pa'u mentions sharing another being's pain. This is some vulcan mind meld bullshit, isn't it. She says she'll try to help Moya with the pain, if only Rygel does something actually contributing to their current situation for loving once.

We cut to Aeryn and Ka playing predator with the natives. They get bored and start sprouting space racism. We learn that Luxans and Grisoldians had a bit of a spontaneous genocide between them.

Back at the barn, John the intrepid space traveler tries to convince the native family that he's really new to this space business as well. He correctly guesses his existence had shaken a lot of core beliefs of the natives. The natives, on the other hand, were expecting something radically different. They should be so lucky, imagine meeting Rygel as the first contact, ew. Well, John scores two bonus objectives - friendship with the natives AND star charts. Well, maybe - the natives are surprised that he's lost.

Rygel is finally doing something that's not spitting at people! Pa'u hands him a ceremonial bone knife - a knife where young Luxan males, at a 'certain age' use. Rygel starts cutting and Pa'u tries to help Moya with the pain.

Our predator cosplaying duo Aeryn and Ka are so bored that they start making GBS threads on Crichton instead. Aeryn decides to go check the ship, and then alert Ka if Crichton isn't back.

Speaking of John, he's checking out them star charts and chatting up with the Nerdmom Alien. She's getting stressed it seems like, since if the military, her biggest money source, finds out John's here we'll have an ET-in-ambulance situation on our hands. She serves John some food, joking it might be toxic, which makes him realize he actually has a spectromatic analyzer on hand. The natives are extremely stressed by the sounds it is making, and there's a bit of altercation with the cattle prod. Military ex machina happens to be nearby and drops in at this point. Lyneea decides the best course of action is to hide John - she doesn't know he sucks at hiding probably.

Back on the ship, Rygel is knee deep in semi-organic wiring and Pa'u is trying to handle the pain - but it's too much! She does her best Deanna Troi impression and faints - and so does Moya and the Pilot. A few moments later Moya wakes up along with everyone else, but she's going down under her own weight.

Lyneea and the military commander have a little chat about the object and how Lyneea is acting weirdly. She's closed herself down, showing only the profile, acting nervous and the commander isn't slow on picking that up. And all that masquerade depends on a kid acting not weirdly. John realizes this and asks 'I'm gonna get captured aren't I?' He then decides that Onlux, or Chlorium or whatever it is needs to reach the ship.

Speaking of... Aeryn rushes in to find a distressed Rygel, a fainted Pa'u and a collapsing ship. Aeryn tries to force Rygel back in the opening, but Rygel refuses by... biting her on her arm?

that poo poo can NOT be sanitary

Aeryn says one day he will die at the hands of a peace keeper and I'm not sure if I can blame her, to be honest. Rygel then confirms my theories - he's loving useless. He goes down in the hole again, while the ladies have a little chat. Pain can be shared, but Moya still bears the brunt of it, Pa'u informs Aeryn. Then Aeryn kinda sorta shows some empathy, which gets ruined immediately.

Our farm boy lets it out that he's here by chance, not choice to Lyneea, while the military commander dude is making a phone call. I really like that guy's ascot? Cravat? Whatever it is. Lyneea sets up the dishes to broadband communications, announcing to the entire planet that they're there, along with Moya and her crew. Somehow they also broadcast and receive video, so Lyneea gets a glimpse of the pilot. Oh no, the commander guy finds out about the spectrometer, but the military ex machina happens again - we cut to Ka just going to town on poor conscripts outside. Definitely on brand for Klingon Luxan might.

Whoever is controlling the Rygel puppet needs a raise.

Ka uses lick! It's not very effective...

John spills the beans about being on a prison transport with escaped convicts to Lyneea. She's obviously not happy about this piece of info, and tries to kick him out of the house. John's adamant on not leaving Ka behind though.

More Rygel cutting while Pa'u yelling scenes. I think they're getting a bit distracting at this point.

Back at the barn, John manages to successfully sneak in and take out the two guards. Buckteeth Alien Kid is still unerringly seeing through his hiding spot though. They rescue Ka.

Yet another cut to Rygel.

Ka and John take off, secure in the knowledge that the military commander is searching the wrong area. John manages to steal a kiss.

John and Ka get back just in time to apply the on the cuts while Rygel is finally done with the cutting Of course Rygel can't help but taste some of the drugs himself. Moya manages to break thru the mud, while Lyneea and the bucktooth alien kid watch them leave. Aeryn is weirded out by John likening the mudball they're leaving to earth, the end.

Aight, where to begin? This was the second episode broadcast, and all I can ask is, what the hell? There's some idiot ball tossing going on in there, plus it's a one-shot that doesn't tell that much either way. Sure we reinforce some ideas from the pilot aka the prehensile tongue and John being a nerd scientist, we also explore a bit into Pa'u and her empathy shenanigans, but it's quite undersold by the puppet animation. Rygel cutting bio-mechanical tubes part definitely did not work for me.

I'd rather watch Crichton interact more with the main cast than get stuck in a barn on a one-shot planet this early, tbh.

Final Verdict: 2 ET's on a bike out of 5.

Musluk fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Aug 5, 2020

Oct 13, 2010

The Oncoming Storm

Just an FYI, Ka'a and Pa'u are their titles, not names. They're named D'argo and Zhaan.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy


Though the subtitles treat Ka as a name, hmm.

Oh well, still gonna do a find and replace for D'argo and Zhaan.

Musluk fucked around with this message at 11:48 on Aug 6, 2020

Oct 15, 2004

S1E6 - Thank god it's Friday. Again.

"She's giving me a woody"

D'Argo, you gotta look up sometimes my dude.

Rygel, don't get so lovely about hiding. You're the worst one.

Zhaan is off the ship!

Hey, i've been to a rave like this before.

Did she just say that people who work are another species? Just...kinda really on the nose right now.

Ahhaha, Chriton throwing the peace sign. Perfect.

No Rygel, you just farted.

Oh, or maybe he's sweating explosives. hahaha, suck it rear end.

Rygel is more worried about not having food than he is about exploding.

Also, sleep groping turn about is fair play!

I swear i've heard this background music in Command and Conquer Generals. The bit when they are all going out into the fields.

Well that escalated fuckin quickly!

Rygel as a Gyro Cone.

Hmm, I thought that the root was what was controlling them but Zhaan didn't eat any and she's hooked. I wonder if this worm thing is some kind of attempt at getting them off planet.

Oh, nevermind it is the root. I guess Zhaan did eat it, just off screen.

Chriton is really not selling the stoned thing very well.

lol, yes Aeryn. Science can be tedious

Oh look, it isn't a rest day! Super weird how that turned out.

I can't tell if this episode is trying to talk about the evils of controlling a populace with drugs, or not using proper crop rotation.

I get this white lady is supposed to be acting all messed up, but the super duper slow speech is really annoying.

You know Chriton, she's right. You could have explained everything in the time it took you to talk about how you can't explain it.

Oh, D'Argo is entering his goth livejournal phase. "I am destined to never be happy"

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1E3 - Exodus from Genesis aka 'What kind of creature are you'

We open up with Rygel painting a masterpiece. I'm going to unspoiler it for the sake of the thread, because it *needs* to be seen.

While Rygel is eating the subject and huffing paint, D'argo is chasing John around with a shrimp. A shrimp that is also a toothcare implement. And probably bad for your GI tract, because we're told NEVER SWALLOW THE DENTIC. Turns out it's minty fresh. While D'argo is explaining space dentistry, an explosion rocks the ship! Moya is going through some asteroid debris field.

Well, the field isn't quite acting like a proper field, and in fact it's shielding the crew from a Peace Keeper craft that is actively scanning. A Marauder, Aeryn says, Crais' eyes and ears - and claws. The crew debates what to do while John sprouts more earth bullshit. It ceases scanning and moves off, and everyone except John immediately forgets about the debris field that is not a debris field. The field then coalesces on to Moya, and it's revealed that they're insects.

John and Aeryn are having a chat about Aeryn's past in the Peace Keepers and marauders, while we switch to a first person PoV from a vent or something. Uh oh, looks like bugs are here. Crichton tries to sell the idea that they're all in this together to Aeryn, but she says she's not interested in friends or family. She then asks what could a human possibly give her that she doesn't have.

Cut to Rygel and Zhaan cleaning up after themselves. Rygel confirms that his childhood was a mess. We see them thru that weird multifaceted PoV as well. Zoya then picks up a brush and literally paints over Rygel's work.

What the gently caress? No, seriously, what the gently caress? Art is transformative, yes, and editing someone's work is something humanity has done for multiple millennia, something a lot of goons do with photoshop occasionally, me included, but you do NOT loving mess with the originals. It's so easy to view that as grandstanding or showing off, especially with someone like Rygel. It looks better is no excuse, imo.

Anyway, John and Aeryn are still doing some maintenance or possible clean up work. Aeryn starts complaining that it's getting too hot. John's not feeling it, but D'argo then asks if they can confirm abnormal thermal fluctuations. It's only a bit hotter than normal, but Aeryn is drat sure it's way worse. Oh no! The weird bug in the vent shoots Aeryn with a metal spike. She goes 'meh, just a metal splinter' and then drops the spike on the ground. Man these aliens are not taking sanitation seriously. The bug collects the spike while John and Aeryn move towards the bridge.

On the bridge, we see D'argo also dismiss a similar spike - by literally littering. Man those DRD droids are gonna be pissed. Aeryn is still hot and bothered, and Pilot chimes in saying they have issues pumping the excess heat out. John is being an rear end in a top hat in the meanwhile.

A major prop to FarScape at this point btw.

Space is a vacuum. A vacuum that has a background energy total near 3°K, much 'colder' than an average 300°K a human would have. But there's no convection nor conduction to move that heat away - it is a vacuum. So, all heat exchange is done by radiating it away. And radiation through vacuum is a slow process. In any given ship with active engines, it's a trouble to move all that heat away. Electronics is a major heat source too, so we have tons of radiators on ISS moving ammonia around to pump heat out of hot spaces and into the radiators. Now, Moya doesn't have our bulky trailing radiators but eh, they're still actively pumping heat out, somehow.

Pilot informs everyone that it's going to be unbearable in six hours. Wait, hours? Didn't they have their own space units? Oh well. Aeryn tries to go at it alone, but Zhaan says nah, we'll do it in teams.

John and Zhaan team up and we have a scene where John expresses his frustrations with everyone treating him like an idiot. Zhaan is sympathetic, saying that a little bit of time will give John what he needs to center himself. Since both D'argo and Aeryn are soldiers and that skews their perspective, he'll probably need to act less stupid near them to win their respect too. Actions like tactical maneuvers, not being a liability, fixing the ship, you name it, they'll love you for it.

Encouraged by Zhaan's words, John springs into action - while doffing his jacket, I guess the heat is finally affecting him. He checks the living quarters, and finds an intruder:

His first instinct is to climb to a higher elevation. High Obi Wan energy, I like it. He contacts others to get advice and as a heads up. He's told to capture one, and, well... They do an Alien Dance Off! John Crichton wins!

Our intrepid caveman then whacks the creature from wall to wall and slams it on a table for good measure. I mean, I can't blame him, I'd be probably shrieking in terror. The creature shrieks too, so there's even more beating involved.

Cut to a gross autopsy scene where Zhaan is praying for the creature (good!) while Rygel is poking its innards (WHAT HE gently caress). He then wipes his hand on Zhaan's dress.


gently caress you Rygel

gently caress



Zhaan finds John's DNA on the bugs, and asks for a live capture. Beetles have secured themselves in an 'Ion Backwash Chamber' or rather, a giant empty room. The entrances are sealed with BeetleGunk™ and D'argo's fancy saw isn't good enough to cut it. Aeryn is really in stress, and we learn that Sabaceans are poo poo at regulating body heat. I guess living in spaceships for forever kinda neutered their ability. D'argo starts to cut Moya without even giving a heads up, and Pilot is actually ANGERY about it. However, the situation is dire enough. John tries to comfort Aeryn, who informs us that heat delirium is something like rabies. But it doesn't kill, no, it leaves the host in a hosed up state.

D'argo finishes cutting, only to find out there's another bulkhead behind it. He punches Moya in anger, which causes lights to flicker and we get a cool zoom out shot of Moya's corridors. John tries to have a chat with Zhaan about the DNA bullshitry going on, but Zhaan kicks his rear end instead and then... shoots some blue vomit at the heat exchange manifold?!

John enters the helm with a neat little dutch angle and finds out Aeryn is increasing the heat as well. And then he eats a heabutt for his troubles. I gotta say, the action scenes in this episode have been better than what we've had so far. It's certainly a step above the 'man-who-saved-the-world' tier action in Ep 1 or 2. The altercation ends with John tearing a hand from the fake Aeryn and the real Aeryn dropping by.

They do another autopsy and share their theories - aliens copying host dna and then faking them is a neat idea. How do they know how to work the computers, though? Also, making a copy out of John Crichton is going to backfire on them I'm sure. Now, identification is an issue, so D'argo proposes the best possible way to ID each other!

John proposes to just go with painting themselves. I'm sure it'll tie to Rygel's painting somehow. Aeryn in the meantime is suffering heavily. She goes to visit the Pilot while Zhaan decides to analyze the blue goop. John and D'argo forcibly punt Rygel into the vents (YASSS)

Oh my, the pilot is actually huge. Aeryn's not looking good, though. I'm now wondering, shouldn't there be a way to at least help Aeryn control her body heat in the short term? She's capable of sweating (aka not actually cold-blooded) so moving air should help with regulating, or are there no cold storages in the ship? Do they not even have any ice cream? Anyway, Pilot shuts off the engine and opens the cargo bays to space. They're now generating less heat, but still unable to pump it out, and now they're a sitting duck.

While Rygel is getting claustrophobic in the bowels of the ship, John and D'argo have a heart to heart. John gets thrown at Moya's corridors by the third member of the crew in this episode, this time for talking poo poo.

Oh wait, all the fridges are broken on Moya. RIP the ice cream dream. Aeryn's whole mood is bleak.

Rygel finds the beetle queen in their little animatronic hive. It looks way better than CGI, that's for sure. Everyone's disturbed by this piece of bad news. Zhaan informs them over voice comms that she found something to dissolve the goop, but gets taken out by a bug. D'argo rushes to investigate, while John tries to help Rygel remotely. Bugs also start chasing Rygel and Aeryn is very much in trouble

Enter Fake!John!

He looks somehow dorkier and immediately copies the painting. Maybe D'argo was right!

John then gets smacked by a copy of himself, breaking his own record of 'getting thrown at Moya's walls in one single episode'. He does emerge victorious with a decapitation in the end however, and informs the rest of the crew that the painting themselves is useless as an ID method. Talking, however, is. Rygel chimes in over the radio that a) he's being held hostage in the hive and b) the hive is literally making GBS threads out clones. John wonders why they're making clones - as parasitic insects they probably have a better rate of survival than clones. Zhaan stumbles in with a fuckhuge stinger still pumping venom.

It's... a mind control stinger? She tells the crew that the clones are her aggregate. Her building blocks? For attacking her while she's going through her changes, they must die. 'Life must continue'. John susses out that it's the queen and it's talking thru Zhaan.


John argues that him killing the bug started all this. It would make sense if the bugs were like ants and only had a few, malnourished worker ants at the start of their first spawning cycle, but there were thousands of those things. He also thinks that they can afford a few more hours of heatstroke to let the bugs finish their spawning cycle. Bug queen is like, 'but why no more heat'? John informs it that they're in a living ship, and all this heat is bad for Moya too.

Apparently, the queen agrees to lower the heat a bit. Rygel phones in to whine about conditions and John says to zip it. Only a few more hours and they're free, without any killing. Zhaan shares her experience of mind control while they tend to Aeryn. Hopefully she'll be better.

And then somehow the Marauder just casually traipses in and disgorges grunts. I thought the cargo bays were open to space, but guess not? They find the Bug!Aeryn and then kill Bug!D'argo. The queen, thinking she's being betrayed, cranks up the heat. Real D'argo decides to attack the scenery again - I mean, it has a high chance to work from past experiences, I can't blame him.

The boarding team (of five) encounter and kill another copy of D'argo and Zhaan, while John tries to reopen communications with the Queen by yelling a lot. Aeryn asks John to kill her before she succumbs to total heat delirium. John hesitates, but Aeryn pushes forward saying 'this is what friends and family would do, and you wanted to be my friend'.

The boarding team is also getting affected by heat while pushing forwards to the command room.

Cut to Rygel (again) bitching about doing anything to save the crew. Zhaan strokes his ego with likening him to Rygel the First. It works, then a badly looking CGI Rygel enters the queen's chambers through her... uh, I think, the birthing canal? Ew.

The queen puppets () Zhaan to spew cryptic bullshit at the crew, while the marauder attack team kills a John clone and a random bug. The queen cries out in pain and John uses that to negotiate their exit from the room, claiming they can stop them. He then tells the queen to crank the heat up with Aeryn's agreement. Whatever they want to do, they need to do it fast.

The real D'argo ambushes the Marauder team. The remaining 4 enter the helm/command room to finally succumb to the heat. John then decides to play some mind games with other clones. D'argo rushes in, all gung-ho to take them out, but John has other plans.

He gives them two options, either perish here, or gtfo back to Crais. He insuniates that if he goes down, thousands will take his place (Hail Hydra). The Commando leader tries to shank him, but he gets taken out by a combination of heat, John's intimidation and D'argo holding a fuckhuge gun at his face.

They let the marauders leave and then lazily set DRD droids to clean all the mess up. John congratulates Rygel on not loving everything up for once, and asks for Aeryn. She's in the 'Terrace'. The bugs leave with a short message from the queen.

John accompanies Zhaan to her room, and they share a moment in front of it. Zhaan claims 'Time and Patience is the answer to everything' but John is initially skeptical. He likens the bugs to, well, pests, but Zhaan still claims a balance could be reached with Time and Patience.

John finally visits Aeryn in the terrace, a beautiful empty room with a huge-rear end window. Aeryn off-handedly compliments the crew, and then asks John about his promise - would he have killed Aeryn instead of let her suffer from the worst of the heat delirium? John refuses to answer. The end.

A much better look into the cast, at last! I personally wouldn't be that pacifist with a bug infestation, but eh, I can see John doing that. It's still not wise on first look imo, but whatever, it isn't outrageously stupid like splitting the group or spending the entire episode cooped up in a barn. We also get to see Aeryn sun open up a bit, and Zhaan's outlook at life, on the surface. Overall, I liked it.

3.5 4 Alien Eggs () out of 5!

Uncle Lloyd
Sep 2, 2019

When I watched Farscape for the first time a little while back, I somehow managed to stumble across Deconstructing Moya, a fairly interesting watch-along blog that I ended up following along with. I think it may have had some minor spoilers here and there, but nothing major, and some good thoughts on the series.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1E4 - Throne For a Loss aka "Somewhere out there there's a whole world of Crichtons"

We open in medias res with John and Aeryn arguing about Tavleks. John tries to impress Aeryn with his Erp pop culture, but she's not receptive. Maybe she doesn't like westerns? Aeryn lays down her main point - she's not going to meet with another group unarmed. Sounds like good tactics, considering the universe they're in. John chases her sprouting even more pop culture.

Cut to Rygel being all regal and poo poo. It is revealed that he actually helped the team out of a situation at least once before, so good going Rygel, you worthless piece of animatronic poo poo. It looks like they're setting him up to negotiate on screen - guess no one learned their lesson from the premiere. John and Aeryn bust in, still arguing and Zhaan pops the big question - are the rest of the crew actually deriving their sustenance from arguing? I'm gonna say yes. They probably needed something over the stale food cubes Rygel got them

Anyway, the Tavleks rush in with weapons drawn and there's a bit of a staredown. They look like Mad Max rejects intermixed with Fallout 1 Power Armor, which is probably very on brand for FarScape. Wait, is that the loving predator mask?!

Eh, close enough. John manages to subdue one of them, but they throw Rygel in a sack, and run off with him.

The end, 5 out of 5!

Alas, I wish.

Anyway, during the altercation one of them drops their fancy hyponeedle'd bracers, and D'argo tries to use it, but fails his 'Tech Use' rolls. He still haven't put in any points in it since I, ET. John breaks the news - The Supreme Eminence, Rygel the XVI, long live his name, Dominar to Six Hundred Billion Million etc etc is bagged, tagged and kidnapped.

John immediately tells Pilot to grab on to the Tavlek shuttle - tractor beam, graviton gun, whatever it is. Turns out, it's a Docking Web. While John and D'argo argue about going after the Tavleks, Zhaan is checking on their captive - then D'argo starts throwing poo poo around. The crew realize D'argo did some creative combat looting and grabbed the bind on pickup gauntlets. Aeryn remarks it's a powerful and versatile weapon, but it's injecting something into D'argo? The crew are worried it's bad, but D'argo rebuffs them - he's the MAN IN CHARGE, damnit! With a quick nod, the crew try to stop him, but he takes them out with a single backhand.

Zhaan, in her fashion, stays back to nurse the Tavlek guy back to health while John and Aeryn follow D'argo out. A few good dutch angles show D'argo as unhinged, and he manages to shoot at them with the weird gauntlet. Aeryn has had enough of his poo poo, and shoots him back, but D'argo uses the shield function as well. He shoots back, but John slams Aeryn into a bulkhead just in time. D'argo huffs off after that.

John and Aeryn go back to Zhaan, just in time for her to wake up the captured Tavlek. They do a short interrogation, and learn that the weapon pumps the user with stimulants and can probably be removed by knocking the user out. Which is just a little bit stupid. Zhaan says she can formulate a sleeping gas.

D'argo kicks a DRD droid on his way to navigation and demands the Pilot to hand him the nav controls. He's really unhappy about being outvoted. Pilot informs the rest of the crew about D'argo's plans - their first instinct is to stall him, but Pilot says he tried that and D'argo isn't biting the bait. They get interrupted by an intermission from the planet - the kingnappers want some ransom! Purity nine corvinium, a whole cargo bay of it. Well, if Rygel is really the dominatrix or whatever of 600 Billion people, figures the main evil Tevlok guy, it shouldn't be too hard, eh? Big Bad Evil Tevlok (BBET from now on) finishes his call with an ultimatum: one day to get the corvinium, or Rygel dies.

Zhaan finished the knockout gas in the meantime. It's in a water balloon, which John immediately grabs. Now, humans have quite a few evolutionary niches, like long distance hunting or... tool use. Throwing is in fact one of them - we're exceptionally good at it. Speed and accuracy and range wise. There are other throwers like some spiders, ants (spraying bodily fluids) or throwing poop when it comes to monkeys, but our anatomy gives us a leg up.

Pictured: Chimpanzee (left) and Human (right).

It's not all in the wrist, it's in the shoulder, apparently. Here's a harvard article about our throwing prowess, image taken from there.

Now, aliens in FarScape are played by humans, but we've seen that there are biological differences big enough between them. Luxans probably didn't have to hunt with tools, etc etc.

Anyway, John goes for a splash instead of direct hit (probably wise) and nails D'argo with enough gas - but the gauntlet pumps him more with the serum, so he just completely ignores it. John and Aeryn run away with D'argo in chase. John has a plan - probably to cause some intense acceleration to stop D'agro, while they overwhelm him. Pilot says Moya's not able to move though, so John formulates another plan: Turn off all the vents. It could cause a huge pressure build up, but John's certain. Aeryn has her doubts.

So does Zhaan, when the Pilot informs her about the plan. She secures the captive Tavlek and then secures herself for immense acceleration. D'argo takes the bait, follows them inside, and then Moya gets her revenge by bopping him real hard. Aeryn is still not happy with the plan though.

Our predator masked friends on the planet are doing an intense folding@home session.

Dunno why the music is so intense.

We pan into the jail where Rygel is held. He's stuck in a mud pit to save the production team the effort of trying to come up with a way to shackle a muppet, I guess. He gets humiliated by another prisoner twice, which is a good thing.

Back on the ship, Pilot informs John and Aeryn about the reason they can't move - Rygel the bastard stole a control crystal from Moya's organic circuitry to use as a decoration on his scepter.


Bad news. Moya's orbit is deteriorating already, and they need that crystal. Their fault for parking in a lovely orbit. D'argo is still sleeping, so Aeryn decides to hunt for the crystal alone with John, surprising both me and Crichton himself. John's very, very skeptical about the plan, though - pop down, shoot dudes, pop back up isn't much of a plan. Aeryn argues it's her turn to 'plan' but John is really argumentative about it.

lmao, guess she really doesn't appreciate John spewing Erp pop culture.

Having Shangai'd John into this, Aeryn hops on to her Prowler (woo, interior shot!) which somehow now has enough space for a passenger or two, without needing oxygen tubes. Pilot can't quite track where the Tavlek ship went due to plant coverage of the jungle, but they know their trajectory so they'll be at least somewhat close. John wakes up furious, and tells Aeryn that the next time she hits her, she should make sure he's not going to wake up. There is going to be a reckoning. Aeryn retorts with how bleak their future looks, they'll have some reckoning as a side dish even if everything goes right.

Back on the ship, Zhaan visits their captive. Apparently Aeryn stripped him for disguise. The guy's got some powerful incel energy and insults Zhaan with some good old fashioned streaking. Zhaan, who probably saw enough for a few lifetimes already, does a power move and strips back.

That shuts the guy up.

On the planet, John is surprised that Aeryn wants him to lead. Of course, all Aeryn wants is a meat shield to absorb threats. We cut to Rygel who's straining hard, or letting a huge fart out. Probably both. He tries to intimidate the guard, who's probably just bored out of his skull delivering food to the prisoners. He leaves a skull full of presumed food, which skeeves Rygel out. His cellmate makes a move to grab the food, but Rygel continues being a prick.

Cut to Moya, hey look D'argo is up. He's acting like he's ashamed, and wants to help with the sensor calibrations even though he probably should rest more. Another cut to the planet shows us John and Aeryn progressing in the jungle. They come accross a hunting party. John proposes they should follow them, but Aeryn has other ideas. Stupid ideas. Like using the stim gauntlet and attacking them. She tells John to put her under with a drug after she's done. I'm sure that'll happen.

She immediately aggro's the hunting trio, laying waste to two of them and interrogating the third. While she's getting some answers, John gets antsy and tries to cover her with her weapon. He doesn't know how to use it however, and overloads the pulse chamber.

He then looks at a beeping, ticking weapon like an idiot for a while, which then explodes off-screen. The hunters scatter, leaving Aeryn alone and frustrated. D'argo notices the explosion from the ship while working on sensors, and asks the Pilot to ready a transport. Aeryn finds John in one piece, but scolds him for destroying their only working gun. Unlike D'argo, the serum gives her a lot more confidence but a lot less anger. She wants to take all of the search parties on, but John forcibly moves her away from the outcropping.

Rygel's cellmate is getting away in 2 days, yay! He won't have to suffer Rygel anymore. Rygel tries to impress BBET to give him better food accommodations, but BBET just dumps the stew on him instead. Serves you right, Rygel.

Our young Tavlek on the ship is suffering from either rashes from Crichton's spacesuit, or from withdrawal. Or maybe both. He tries attacking Zhaan, but she no-sells his paltry moves, then gives him a kiss and does some reiki to relieve him of pain.

Back in the cells, Rygel starts to use the stew as a way to loosen up the mud around him. Guy knows his mud, indeed.

Meanwhile, John and Aeryn approach the camp. Aeryn is getting her brain scrambled by the serum, she wants some blood and she won't rest till every Tavlek is dead on the ground. John tries to sedate her, but she sees that coming (). D'argo jumps to his help at the last second, and uses his tongue to disable Aeryn, also disarming her from the gauntlet.

Cut to cells again. Rygel, with the help of his cellmate semi-strangling him, plops out of the mud. While trying to get out of his cell, though, BBET discovers him and crushes his windpipe, ending the Rygel line and saving all of us the effort.

The end! 11 Decapitated Rygels out of 10!

...Aw gently caress. Jotheb, his cellmate, rubs their tentacles ALL over Rygel's mouth and somehow fixes that weasely bastard's broken neck and or windpipe. They also say their empire will pay Rygel's ransom. Maybe they'll hire Rygel as a court jester? Here's hoping.

In the Jungle, Aeryn wakes up to have a spat with D'argo. They're both being boneheads about insulting each other, and John has to play the grown up. John leaves to check the surroundings.

Back on the ship, R&R session is going on. Zhaan tries to help the addicted Tavlek, and gets some progress.

Doww on the planet, an enervated Aeryn finally has a proper chat with D'argo. As per usual PROUD WARRIOR RACE customs, they insult each other with pithy remarks till there's a bit of an understanding between them. Then they stumble upon the biggest common ground they could ever find: Insulting Crichton.

Meanwhile, Rygel gets invited conscripted to the consortium of Trao. I'm hoping for court jester, but test subject is also acceptable. Joke's on Jotheb though, Rygel spills the beans about his having deposed, how his brother took the throne from him, and how there's like only 5 beings in the universe who slightly give a toss about him.

This pisses of Jotheb. I assume he wanted to eat the Rygelkind as a dessert.

Back in the jungle, John completes his scouting mission and informs his crewmates - the soldiers are taking a nap. They consider attacking at night, but they don't know if the planet's rotation allows nights.


Bruh. You've been in orbit around the planet long enough to arrange for a randezvous and then take a forced nap, D'argo, and you didn't check? Tsk tsk tsk. Typical Luxan. Interestingly enough, orbits CAN work that way - tidal locking isn't a rare phenomenon. A planet in a tidal lock to a star without light/dark deathzones however would probably interest John enough to learn more about it, he is a space geek after all. I'd prefer if they claimed it as a hosed up orbit having a too long day/night cycle. We're then introduced to the Luxan SwordRifle. Cool, but a wee bit impractical. Probably still better than the Jaffa staves . They also decide to leave the gauntlet behind - it's caused them only problems so far. They leave the SwordRifle with Aeryn, to cover their retreat.

On the ship, we learn more about Zhaan's abilities. She continues to educate the poor addicted soul. What can you do if you're not using a mind-altering serum as a crutch? And are those lego plates truly edible, or is it from Rygel's stash? We leave the poor boy stuttering and go back to the planet.

John and D'argo infiltrate the compound. Everyone seems to be sleeping. They enter the prison/toilet where Jotheb is held. John wastes no time to insult the cthulhu looking guy. However, Rygel is nowhere to be found, and the crystal from the scepter is missing, too. Jotheb informs them that Rygel was moved to a more secure position. John offers to spring the little cthulhu dude out, but he refuses. He also tells tham the Consortium of Trao found Rygel too disruptive, and won't be paying for his ransom. Understandable, really.

They leave the toilet/prison (ew) and get surrounded by guards. Aeryn comes to their rescue by providing covering fire, though her efforts and the powerful SwordRifle aren't enough for all of them to get out unscathed - D'argo is hurt. Turns out Luxans need their blood to flow freely to heal wounds normally, and coagulation is actually harmful. So instead of using the available sword, or a knife or something, Aeryn just beats the crap out of D'argo' back with her fists.

Back on the ship, Zhaan has to answer Crichton's request of scanning for the Tavlek ship. She then foolishly lets the addict boy alone, who immediately scampers away from the mess hall. She gives a directional vector for the shuttle - it's almost ready to take off, though. The addict guy assaults a DRD in the maintenance bay which alerts the Pilot and Zhaan that he's on the run.

Aeryn says they're not fast enough to reach there, but John claims he can do it - with the help of the stimulant. Both D'argo and Aeryn think it's a bad idea, but they're out of options otherwise, so with a few earth pop culture quips John equips the gauntlet. Somehow the magic stims work, and he takes off.

Cut back to the ship where we watch the addict guy mess around with the chemistry kit. Zhaan confiscates whatever it is he's building - she's pretty angry that the kid chose the stimulants over sermons. She then demonstrates how building a monk with stunning strike can be pretty cheesy in 5E D&D. She then tells he's grounded and locks him up.

Back on the planet D'argo and Aeryn argue about the futility of their efforts. They resort to insulting each other again, which ends up with Aeryn using the patented Kirk Double Fist Hammer Slam™ on D'argo, while we see a montage of John running in the jungle.

John finally creeps up to the BBET and his guards, and takes the guards out with - apparently - nonlethal shots. Then they do a dance-off. Unlike the bugs from the previous episode though, this time John runs out of magic stim juice and loses the match, but bluffs his way into a draw by claiming that Rygel is a mental patient with delusions of grandeur and loyalty. BBET kicks Rygel, with me cheering on from my seat. He downgrades his bluff to actually contagiously sick, then to just worthless. BBET still believes the consortium would pay for his worthless hide, but nah, Mr Cthulhu said he's not worth the trouble.

He then admits that they're totally pennyless, and tells them to contact the kid on the ship for confirmation. The kid confirms everything - pennyless, worthless and even without good food. BBET is impressed that finally someone told him the truth, I guess? He then punts Rygel's sack back to John. Hopefully it's not the last time Rygel is punted.

John asks Rygel the million credit question - where's the crystal? The motherfucking goblin ate it apparently. He grabs the sack and goes back to D'argo and Aeryn, who solved the 'I'm dying' problem through copious amounts of punching. John then collapses on top of Rygel, and they return to Moya. The writing crew surprise me by not forgetting about the shuttle D'argo took down to the surface.

They get Rygel to part with the crystal, while Zhaan contacts the addict kid on the surface. He's back to juicin'. Guess the sermons failed. The end.

What I liked: A plot. I thoroughly enjoyed Rygel getting abused. Joking aside though, it was bound to happen eventually. And finally some interaction between Aeryn and D'argo that's not growling. John's still not the biggest idiot either, and he's adapting. The armor design on the bad guys were neat.

What I didn't like: The music choice was a bit weird. Buttrock in non-action scenes? Also the entire B plot. Zhaan, you don't let dangerous addicts run free, damnit. Also what was the message there? Drugs bad? Drugs sometimes good? Why did all the bad guys go to sleep altogether?

Also, there's a bit too much jumping around, I think. Editing the scenes could be a bit tighter, I dunno. I can barely describe one scene before we move to another.

Overall: I think I'm going to switch to a 10 scale rating. So, 6.5 stimpaks out of 10.

Jun 3, 2008

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth; I am a citizen of the world.

I think the message was "drugs good but there is no way we can get away with putting that on TV."

That or "drugs bad when they're a means of militaristic control."

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1E5 - Back and Back and Back to the Future aka "Spy sappin' mah chrono-temporal arrays!"

Whoo, in medias res! Crew encounters a ship falling apart. Zhaan wants to check if there are any survivors, but both D'Argo and Rygel think it's a bad idea. Pilot asks for a consensus, but there's no clear answer. In comes John, and asks what's going on. The other ship is disintegrating sub-atomically apparently, and it manages to squeeze out a shuttle. The shuttle then asks for help. Whoever's on the shuttle looks close to Luxans, so D'Argo is all 'BRING IT IN'. They deploy the docking web (yay, continuity!) and check the shuttle out. Aeryn brings her gun. After a few seconds of dated CGI, the shuttle docks and D'Argo rushes in like an idiot.

With the help from John, they take the two survivors out of the shuttle and into the infirmary. John rushes back in to check if there's more survivors, but then touches an alien energy thing and well, things start to go trippy and echo-y. I guess it can't be a FarScape episode without trippin'.

A distraught Zhaan wants to do more to help, but the ship's a goner. Rygel caps the scene with a one liner, the jerk.

The two Luxan-looking survivors are fine, if a bit shaken. They're quite cagey on what they've been doing, but at least confirm they were the only two on the ship. They're also initially suspicious of Aeryn, but both John and D'Argo pipe up with support for her. They ask to be handed over to another cruiser nearby, and D'Argo is all 'Of course, mi astranave es su astranave. Who are these people? Also why is there a wooshing sound whenever they speak?

Then John has a vision.

Uh. Okay.

Aeryn realizes John's distress, but interprets that as fragile hooman weakness and tells him to take a nap. At the Helm, Zhaan punches in the randezvous coordinates, while Rygel tries to swindle them. Also, seriously, what the gently caress is that wooshing? D'Argo interrupts Rygel's swindling, uncharacteristically so. Is he getting mind controlled or what? I'd expect him to just go to town on Rygel like Homer Simpson would on Bart, all suffocatin'. D'Argo calls the survivors his friends. Rygel is skeptic, and remarks that he's only just met them.

Ah, there's the abuse. Y'know, I don't think he deserved THAT one specifically. Ooh, Ilanians. A Luxan off-shoot, or something. More tribal designs, less plastic noses. While Rygel gets schooled in etiquette, Pilot chimes in to say they'll reach the randezvous point in 12 arns. So they DO have their own time unit. Boo, inconsistency! The lady Ilanic, Matala wants the other Ilanic Verell to eat.

Cut to the mess hall with a presumably nice spread of food in front of Verell. He asks about the other crew, but D'Argo fesses tries to fess up his actual crime. Verell isn't interested unless it's treason, so they just ignore that and talk about how long has it been. Eight cycles, apparently. I hope it's not eight cycles of the whole galaxy because hoo boy. Still, in the missing eight cycles, the Ilanics went to war with Scorvians. Those jerks apparently attacked an outlying colony and killed a bunch of civilians. If there wasn't this wooshing happening I'd actually believe him. 'Just getting us to the randezvous point will help with the war more than you can know'. Oh so they're weapon designers and discovered something, eh?

Matala catches Aeryn checking their shuttle out, and prevents her from opening a hatch. Claims it's a sensitive equipment holding sensor data - deep space gravitational waves. Aeryn doesn't buy it, Matala tells her to piss off, then they decide to strike the dorkiest pose possible on human bodies:

'Oh you had some training (in how to look like an idiot)' The arrival of D'Argo makes them drop the poses. He asks what's going on and Aeryn says she's looking for broken power conduits that zapped John, to try to help repair. Matala is all WELL THANKS BUT NO THANKS while Aeryn just smiles and shrugs. Matala then pushes the idea that their data is too important to be messed with, which D'Argo parrots. Who's a good housebroken puppy with a prehensile tongue and a chintackles? Aww, you are, D'Argo!

Aeryn airs her suspicions to Zhaan and John, who's too busy daydreaming about Matala and her leather corset and accessories. Aeryn's not trusting that Matala person - she's clearly doing something to John and D'Argo. John scoffs and starts a monologue about 'different species' but his hormones betray him at the last second and we get to see another leather-clad bedroom adventure.

Frustrated with being a hormonal teenager again, John leaves the ladies on the mess table.

In D'Argo's workshop, Verell is poking around on a hologram. D'Argo blunders in, all apologetic, but Verell is fine, he's been stuck in a ship with Matala for a cycle. D'Argo claims it'd be a pleasant outing, which then Verell pounces upon - does D'Argo fancy Matala? He kids, he kids, they're just colleagues. She's all D'Argo's, if he wants to 'begin the Luxan chase'. I guess it's as bad as Klingon romance. D'argo is flustered, and retorts that he can't. Verell then claims she clearly wants to hump D'Argo's bones. She then conveniently jumps into the scene and starts flirting with D'Argo.

John takes this moment to literally kramer in, then gets surpised that the aliens of the week are there. D'Argo is weirdly happy to see him there. John successfully manages to extract D'Argo from the room without tripping on all the lust and horny. Both Matala and Verell are unhappy about that. John then swallows his pride and outright asks if Ilanic women have a pheromone or any chemical thing that makes them attractive to others. Wow John, I'm actually surprised. The answer is no. Telepathic seduction? D'Argo wonders why such questions are coming out of the Erpling. John then outright tells him that he's getting weird visions about Matala. Huh. Y'know, I'm impressed. At least we won't have an episode about that kind of cringe comedy.

D'Argo isn't happy, though. John then has another vision, but no sexy times this time around. Aeryn is there, asking if D'Argo is still being a lovesick puppy. Jonh sits there all surprised, then the vision ends. He moves to another corridor, and his vision plays out exactly as he had it, including him standing around with mouth agape. He realizes the visions are not hallucinations but actual visions from the future. Matala then decides to saunter around with a mysterious smile.

John locks himself in his room in front of his mirror, but the visions continue. D'Argo is with John in this one. We see a dead Verell, literally backstabbed, and then Matala rushes in, does a highly stupid Hissing-Open-Palm strike on both John and D'Argo, then kills them with a neck snap that looks and sounds less harsher than me cracking my knuckles. John becomes a weeeeee bit unhinged after that.

He then tries to make D'Argo believe the outcome of his visions, D'Argo is certain he's thinking with his dangly bits. The door opens and Verell, all safe and sound pops out, going all 'sup. Well, at least it's not a Cassandra situation just yet. D'Argo then serves some SpaceTea to Verell, who informs them both that Matala's with Aeryn. John then has an even creepier encounter with both. They're going to the cargo bay for 'Intense Physical Activities'. They even invite him over but he's too weirded out, so he leaves.

We cut to Rygel stuffing himself with food. Zhaan drops by and tries to get him to listen to Moya, but he's too busy admiring his own voice. Zhaan feels something's out of balance.


Oh for fucks sake.

Then they fight. To give credit where it's due, Aeryn trashes Matala thoroughly in 2 bouts, both physically and verbally. Matala then does the Hissing-Open-Palm-Slam strike, knocking Aeryn out. Okay. Moving on, I guess. She 'thanks' Aeryn for the exercise in the weird, vision-y voice, and fucks off to another place in the ship, only to Zhaan to intercept her. Zhaan asks if there were any other weird poo poo happening to their ship before it blew its atoms inside out, but Matala is all nah bruv. She tells Zhaan that she should speak to Verell when he's free. In the meantime, can Zhaan answer a few questions about... Crichton? Oh this is gonna be good. Zhaan no-sells the entire thing, telling her she's too mainstream to understand John. She then nonchalantly leaves Matala alone in the corridor to speak with Verell. He's still alive, and they blow technobabble up each other's ears for a bit.

Meanwhile, John happens upon Rygel doing his best garbage disposal impression with the food left for the Ilanics. John starts to say something to Rygel, but then we get yet another vision. Verell's dead again, D'Argo enters the room, again, Matala tries to Hissing Open Palm Slam again, but wait! John sees that coming. They start to grapple, but the vision ends - and John barrels right into Rygel. Zhaan comes in all worried, asking what's happening. John, distraught, mumbles 'I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain' and runs out, while Rygel pukes the food out. Motherfucker can't even be sanitary when I'm feeling sorry for him.

Cut to Ilanics spilling beans to D'Argo. Ding ding ding, they were field testing a weapon. A weapon so powerful that it requires a containment field, which they have completely hosed up. They saved the weapon though, it's in the shuttle. Score one for Aeryn, I guess. D'Argo's first question is 'Is Moya in any danger?'. Then the two Ilanics bullshit through D'Argo's layers of nationalism. He's truly a believer in their cause.

Zhaan is having a chat with John, who actually explained poo poo off-camera. Zhaan is fascinated by the tales of oracles - guess Pa'u monks don't have that as a literary concept. She postulates that if it truly is the future, maybe there's a way to change it. John worriedly says he thought of that, but since they don't know their end-game and Verell ends up dead with D'Argo maybe in trouble, he's afraid of inaction and afraid of what Matala plans to do. He then drops a porcelain mask, shattering it. No bets on this being a chekov's porcelain mask. Zhaan confirms that she's not quite believing Verell's stories when John asks about them, so he decides to confront Verell after all.

John then barges into D'Argo's workshop, accusing Verell of lying. He's not there though, but Matala is. She turns on the creepy factor to eleven, but John's not buying it. He grabs a pink table leg to keep her at arm's length and starts asking questions.

She notices D'Argo entering the room though, and takes a dive! More dramatic than some soccer players can manage.

"D'Argo, he knows the truth, he tried to tell the others to make them turn against me, unless I pleasured him."

D'Argo then skewers John with his SwordRifle, Matala facestabs Verell and then D'Argo -

Whoops, rewind, just before the mask slips. OOOH I GET IT, THE MASK SLIPS. 👀 Back to Zhaan saying 'you can change the future!' John confirms that he did change the future - he made it worse. He then shatters the mask in frustration. Man, that poor mask didn't deserve this. Zhaan thinks all of this can be resolved with talking, but John is really distraught - he did feel the sword skewering him. Aeryn takes this moment to kramer in to say - Matala isn't Ilanic, she's Scorvian. Apparently Aeryn set up the dorky stance-off to see if she'd resort to Hissing Open Palm Slam.

She's surprised John knows about it. A bit of a frustration from both John and Aeryn later, Zhaan re-centers the conversation. Is Matala spying on Verell? No says John, she's there to kill him. Zhaan wants to go for a classic divide and conquer, thinking they can get Verell on their side, while Aeryn thinks a direct confrontation is in order. Just before they can argue, however, Pilot chimes in. Moya's converters are having a phase inversion problem. They decide to get D'Argo to help, and comm him over. John claims one of the Ilanics will come with D'Argo and tell everyone it's nothing, haha, not a bug, haha, hey isn't the universe grand hahaha. Aeryn confirms his theory, saying one of them will guard the shuttle. Probably Verell.

We cut to D'Argo saying something about the core temperature on the ...pod? I thought it was Moya's converters? Anyway, John spies on Matala telling D'Argo that it's nothing, just like predicted. She then turns on the creep factor to eleven and tries to recruit D'Argo into the war between Ilanics and Scorvians. D'Argo refuses it outright.


D'Argo never told what his crime was to Verell, but lets it slip that he lied to the other crew about it. No one knows why he got imprisoned. Matala retorts with 'who cares, there's only them and us on the battlefield.' while trying to get past the highest recorded creep factor ever encountered. Zhaan comes to his rescue on comms.

John confronts Verell in the meantime. Verell acts all high and mighty, but John blunders his way into explaining what is happening to him with all the time flashes. Verell, for once confirms that yeah, poo poo's hosed, there's a temporal anomaly with John. Verell wants to know more details re: Matala but John demands to know what he was exposed to in the shuttle.

A quantum singularity.

Dun dun dunn.

Well, let's break down that a bit. A singularity in most sciences is a state that is a point of no return, of sorts. It's unknown or highly unpredictable what happens after reaching the singularity point. For astronomy, this generally involves gravital singularities, aka Black Holes. We know what happens to matter till it reaches the event horizon, and we can guess what happens next, but we don't know. Quantum is also a word overused by both new age woo and science fiction. However, this time the actual word is meaningful - minimum amount of any entity required in an interaction can be called a quanta. So, we can say a quantum singularity (wrt gravitational waves) is a miniature black hole. Star Trek has used it as such before, so some people are probably familiar.

Verell claims it's a powerful tool, the ultimate weapon. John is stupefied. 'My species' very existence depends on it, and if you're right about Matala, she will kill for it.'

Of course, Matala and D'Argo take this moment to enter the workshop. After a short confrontation, Matala kills D'Argo, then Verell, takes the briefcase and skedaddles, while John hides behind a crate going all 'Spah sappin' mah sentry'. Aeryn finally breaks thru the barricaded door while Matala takes off in the shuttle. Aeryn shoots the shuttle, which then disturbs the black hole, taking Moya out in some impressive CGI.

The end, 5 black holes out of 5!

Okay fine.

Back and back and back to the past where John is talking with Zhaan about changing the future. John lays the mask carefully on the ground, then stomps on it with a weird look on his face. Zhaan is taken by complete surprise here. Aeryn pops in as it happened before, but before she can get more than two words out, John starts repeating their replies from before, even acts like a jerk to the Pilot. He then realizes the only actual crew member he couldn't talk to was D'Argo. He must be the key. As long as he's with Matala, the timeline gets worse. They have to try something new. Zhaan and Aeryn look at him like he has two heads and the other one just swallowed a chicken.

However, they do hatch a good plan. By mentioning Rygel the shitstain and how he's trying to swindle the Ilanics, they play to D'Argo's HONORRR and he takes off solo to find and apply some Luxian sense to the sack of poo poo. He finds himself in a room stuck with everyone else but Rygel, demanding to know where he is.

Cut to Verell and Matala messing around with the hologram. Verell asks how long till the randezvous, and gets a creepy, cryptic 'sooner than you think' reply from Matala.

Meanwhile, the crew has explained the premonitions to D'Argo, who's still skeptical. The conversation gets a bit heated, then John asks everyone to leave - he wants to talk to D'Argo alone. Once they leave, he drops the act and just straight up bulldozes over D'Argo - he knows that he lied to everyone else about the crime. D'Argo is dumbfounded, but his shock gets him out of his 'deny everything' attitude and he realizes John is telling the truth.

Aeryn and Zhaan come back in, informing them that there's a vessel approaching. Illanic cruiser, or perhaps something else? Of course it looks like one, but looks have been deceitfull all throughout the episode, and the mask has slipped quite a few times. John wants to starburst out, but that'll take time, time enough to be in range of the enemy guns. They can't outright run, but they can avoid them long enough to starburst out with Aeryn on the helm. D'Argo says Scorvians and Ilanics don't look alike, and if they refuse visuals, well, there you have it. D'Argo takes off, with John in pursuit, while surprise surprise, the other ship has a visual malfunction. Aeryn immediately takes manual helm control and starts dodging.

In the hopefully last cut to the workshop, D'Argo and John confront Verell and Matala. As tensions rise, she slips out a knife and holds Verell hostage. Then she changes her voice to a croak for some loving stupid reason. I mean, they had a sound guy modulate alien speech in the first episode, just give him a case of beer for this one, jeez. Matala ends up shanking Verell, and in the following altercation she manages to slip away. D'Argo's first instinct is to grab the SwordRifle to go after her, but John realizes it's a doomed effort. He has a plan. We don't get to learn his plan quite well, because Verell lives long enough to completely disable the containment field around the black hole. John realizes what's going on and tells the Pilot to dive dive dive! Hit them starbursts, Pilot! They get out of dodge while the shuttle blackhole takes out the fake Ilanic cruiser.

Out on the other end of the starburst, D'Argo calls out Matala's name once more, crestfallen. Later, John tries to force a convesation about D'Argo's true crime in the cafeteria. D'Argo is adamant about not sharing it. Then he admits that 8 cycles of imprisonment did affect his outlook towards Matala FEEEEMALES. John is sympathetic. The end.

What I liked: Well, that did NOT go how I thought it'd go. John immediately told others what was happening (good), people believed him (good!) and they kept it going for a good part of the episode, and went back to revisit it. I loving hate the Cassandra plots. Even D'Argo shat up and listened. The story has been reused elsewhere before and after quite a lot, but the twist was neat enough that it worked, imo. They clearly got their money out of the CGI farm for those black hole effects, too.

What I didn't like: Audio design. That repeating woosh was weird. D'Argo going complete puppy mode was disappointing. Zhaan's still too passive.

Overall score: 8 ⏪⏪⏪⏪⏪⏪⏪⏪ rewinds out of 10.

Oct 15, 2004

S1E8 - That Old Black Magic

"Breaks my heart."

Don't bother finding medication for Rygel. Just let him die.

I am just waiting for the day Aeryn tells Chriton something made up and he takes her seriously and eats it.

OMG this guy made a twig and berries with his stick and whatever those leathery things are! Fuckin nice dude. I wonder if this guy is some kind of telepath.

Oh, teleportation. So, this dude's a wizard. Or maybe a Technomage from B5.

Now it's Zhaan's turn to be thirsty. This Tiefling guy is playing along very well. I hope he isn't going to scam her.

Crais, one of YOUR duties as a captain is to ensure the safe operation of your ship and your crew, and managing their fatigue. Suck a big fat one.

Also, you already told Crais that it was an accident and he didn't believe you. What makes you think it'll be different this time?

Well, Crais is going to ignore this order to return.

Ah, one of THOSE wizards. Gonna give you what you ask for but not in the manner implied. Oh, a transforming wizard.

This wizard killed HALF a planet? holy crap.

Yeesh Aeryn. Fuckin chill with the supremacist talk?

Oh snap, easy to forget that Zhaan was an angry anarchist first.

Poor Zhaan. If she actually goes forward with this it's gonna hurt her so much. Shutup Liko, she's the nicest person in this part of the universe. She's scared of enjoying hurting things you dick.

Chriton, just because you didn't kill Crais is no reason to let go of the spear you idiot!

Maldis you need to chill bro.

Hope we get a 3rd option here for Zhaan's sake. Aang got one in Avatar, why not Zhaan?

Uggghhh I hope Crais dies soon. I'm so tired of bad guys who just think that everyone should just lay down and die rather than fight back.

Okay, now I'm okay with Zhaan giving pain. gently caress you Rhygel!

Oh Chriton.

What the gently caress are you going to do with Chriton's boots you idiot. They're as big as your torso!

"Believe me, I give you my word" - guy who lies

Man these punching sound effects are VERY 90s. Which makes sense I guess.

"What does god want with a space ship?" Apparently to spread destruction and death.

Dude, Chriton just punched him to death with one hit. Wtf?

Wow Crais, you're really stupid. Kill the one underling who is absolutely behind you 100%.

That's not the way that works Chriton. Once you go back you know you can always go back.

Oct 15, 2004

S1E9 - DNA Mad Scientist

"I can STOMACH chopped Mellet"


robot cat alien thing is pretty neat looking though. Not sure about his science though, talking weirdly about other "levels" of DNA. And why the hell would someone's eyeball have this other special dna? And somehow extrapolating spacial reference from DNA he's never collected before?

Da fuq does a dna scientist need with an entire fuckin limb?! That seems excessive.

"Think about someone else for a change!!" -Dude who never thinks about someone else

They did just steal his fuckin arm.

Oh, some weird amalgam monstrocity. I see we're doing body horror.

At least Pilot's arm will grow back.

I see Zhaan's turn into the darkside from last episode is sticking with her. I was afraid at the time it'd be just an episodic thing.

Rygel if you ever go home you will be deposed again. You're an absolute idiot if you think otherwise. D'Argo can gently caress right off too, you did something really bad, awful bold to you to assume you can just go home.

Ahaha, even Pilot is making GBS threads on Rygel. Good.

Why is Aeryn all fuckered up? Did the scientist dope her with the needle stick?

These tilty camera angles imply everyone's going nuts. I'm assuming Rygel swallowed the crystal.

How did Aeryn fly back down to the planet when she's tripping balls? Yes, she is aware she is hurting you. It's sort of the point.

Oh, cat scientist is turning her into a Pilot.

This is a bit of a flip, Aeryn is opening up while Zhaan shuts down.

What is the point of turning her into a pilot?

Okay, scientist guy has telekenetic powers. And apparently needs a headshot to die?

This is space Lawnmower Man.

None of them are going to believe him that the crystal was going to destroy moya's data.

That's a good effects on Aeryn. Nice nazi reference too.

Ahaha, NamTak was a Kowakian monkey-lizard. Nice.

ahahaha, smiley face food cubes. Awesome touch.

gently caress off D'Argo, trying to get forgiven for hacking someone's arm off.

Good episode, but it really made me dislike Zhaan and D'Argo as being really lovely. I always knew D'Argo was out for himself, and any selfless acts were rare moments instead of normal. But Zhaan going all in on being a selfish dickbag really sucked. Even if I did like the continuation from the previous episode.

May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Grimey Drawer

CainFortea posted:

S1E9 - DNA Mad Scientist

His name is Namtar

it's Ratman spelled backwards because he started as the test subject.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1E6 - Thank God It's Friday Again or "It was nice for once to triumph using my mind "

We open with D'Argo yelling for Crichton. Man, he's angry. He's on a Hyper Rage. Okay, that's a dumb name. Anyway, he's hyperraging for a few days, and has actually moved off-ship. John's been hiding so good that the crew couldn't find him to tell him D'Argo's off the ship. He's on the planet now, and the rage might be over. Or, he's killed something. Rygel is insanely happy about that outcome for some reason.

The crew go down to the planet, including Zhaan. Holy poo poo she's actually off the ship for once. Oh the planet is actually populated. John bores everyone with Erp pop culture as usual while they look around. The planet is very hot apparently, so it might cause issues for Aeryn if they take too long (yay, continuity!)

They enter a club with loud music, lovely lighting and I assume watered down drinks. The clubgoers look human/Sabecean, but apparently they too are a cousin species. I thought this was supposed to be space australia, not space alabama. Aeryn is open carrying a goddamn pulse rifle into the club too, so, double wtf there. Kissing cousins? John, what the gently caress are you implying there? Aeryn takes that in stride though, and tells John she'd rather have her meat scoured from her bones before that.

John and D'Argo notice each other in the crowd and the first thing John does is yelling PISS () out loud and run. D'Argo easily catches up to him, but John is like a cornered cat. He punches D'Argo a few times to no effect, then D'Argo embraces him in a bear hug. He's really happy to see him. Aww.

After the intro, everyone piles questions to D'Argo. The hyper rage is gone, and he's found a new purpose: oogling the ladies in the bar, apparently. Aeryn is distraught - he's supposed to be a warrior, damnit. But nah, he's been more a fugitive and prisoner than he's been a warrior he claims. He's found a new purpose, a new calling, that of flesh. He gets led away by a woman, while some clubgoers stare at the rest of the crew. One of them approaches the group, another lady in a weird garb. Zhaan notes they might get their answers soon.

Volmae, the apparent leader of Sykar, welcomes them. D'Argo has been telling her ALL about the crew. Zhaan tells her that they're just passing thru and they don't want to harm anyone, quite passive aggressively. Volmae takes that in stride and welcomes them to the planet, while Rygel is being an unsanitary dick in the background.

She's sure it means 'when you don't trust someone or they make you nervous' and claims John used it so much that she inferred the meaning. John corrects her with 'Willies'.

An announcement ends people's club activities, and everyone vacates the premises. Somehow our crew get seperated going out. Aeryn finds Rygel belching loudly in a corner, and then thankfully spies D'Argo so she runs away from the little monster. D'Argo is happy they're staying for the night, and wants to show them all the wonders of the planet, wink wink nudge nudge.

Speaking of nudging, someone slams John to the set, again. It's one of the people staring at the crew in the bar. She tells John that no matter what happens, no matter what they hear, they must stay. John's as confused as I am at this point. The crew get together and while they argue about leaving D'Argo behind or not, an off-screen explosion interrupts everything.

Was that Rygel farting? Nope, but a bomb. Or so he claims. No one knows who Rygel is, and an assassin would only target people of notoriety - so what the hell caused it? I still claim it's the fart. Sun's gonna be up soon so Aeryn takes Rygel up to Moya, but first warns John that they should leave when the time's up, with or without D'Argo.

Speak of the devil, it's D'Argo. He's surprised the crew found him, but well, it's not that hard to find a 2 meter alien with chinticles in a mono-race settlement I guess. He dorkily invites everyone in with a poo poo eating grin. The crew air their worries, and John outright asks 'why don't you come back to us to Moya?' D'argo deflects that with a flimsy counter-offer: Stay as long as you want. Zhaan (and I both) think something weird is going on. He offers them a lovely pull-down mattress on the floor, then goes into the master bedroom - oh he has a lady friend in there.

Zhaan and John talk about how the city's falling apart and no one seems to care. Progress is sliding back, but no one seems to care, why? Zhaan thinks material comfort isn't the be all end all, and remarks that pontificating the question won't get them answers. Those, she claims, lay in tomorrow. She finishes changing to her nightgown and John offers the mattress, but Zhaan claims it'd be cold - that's a good thing, right? The day's gonna be hot as gently caress, right? Anyway, the script decides to skip John being uncomfortable, back to the ship!

Rygel is letting off some steam - in the form of explosive farts. Pilot confirms that a) explosion came from Rygel's quarters and b) nothing ship-made was the cause. Well, it's something Rygel is secreting, mucus perhaps. She flings some off to the deck and it explodes.

Aeryn saves John from indecency by informing him that Rygel's fluids are all explody now. John tells her to use her big Sabacean brain but she's not a tech she yells. Solution? Get help from Pilot, and make sure Rygel isn't eating or drinking anything. Now I know for a fact that Rygel is too loving dumb to live, so I'm sure he's going to do something stupid. Throughout all these scenes Aeryn is holding her rifle like a preschooler holds on to a plushie, which is weird. Did someone glue her hand to that?

A new day begins on the planet with an outside shot of a huge building. Is that supposed to be an arcology? Also, while it does look a bit run down, it's not actively falling apart. Crew on the planet also wakes up. D'Argo barges out of the bedroom in a robe-de-chambre, saying he's late for work. No talky, only late. Today's not a rest day, it's the last day of work, and there's gonna be a party, he claims. Then he exits along with the lady.

We then get a scene where everyone is urged by propaganda announcements to keep moving, keep working, and eat that root. Everyone's all smiles. Then they leave the big building to plant some veggies in a field while an oriental muzak plays in the background - it's really weird, but I have to admit it's probably my bias - I don't associate oriental music like that with working in a green field.

John spies the woman who slammed him into the wall last night hopping on a train car, and chases after her. Let's talk, he says, then immediately gets strongarmed into the traincar, only to be subjected to a Go'auld. The guy administering the albino worm says to John that if people know he's got the worm, they'll kill him. Eat, and the pain will go away. They leave John trippin' in the carriage and scamper off.

When John comes to, he's in a dilapidated train stop. He spies some of the tanned root, and gobbles it up - it seems to have helped.

Back in the fields, Zhaan and D'Argo are discussing their fates. Zhaan asks if D'Argo wants to spend his days here, and D'Argo turns around and asks her if she wants to run forever. A bit more of Zhaan's backstory is revealed - she viewed herself as a savage before joining her order. Then they bury a conic thing together.

Back on the ship, they froze Rygel. So I guess that's one way to stop him from being stupid. Aeryn tries to not do anything remotely sciency, but Pilot says he can't do it himself, and I'm guessing he's stuck to Moya so, she will have to do it.

D'Argo and Zhaan return to the flat to find John beig very sick. He tries to inform Zhaan, but she's also brainwashed. She argues that a honest day's work is all she needs, while John is trippin' balls and in bad shape. He's *this* close to telling Zhaan about the worm, but D'Argo's presence makes him re-evaluate that. The two aliens leave to celebrate, it's Rest Day tomorrow!

In the bar, wormlady grabs John by the spine and forces him to join the others of her group. Turns out the worm feeds on the toxins their food has, which has that mind control effect on the populace. If they discover that they are acting strange, straight to the gallows with them. And the group's actually immune to the plant bullshit. They need John to... idk, hide? Sprout earth pop culture? Accidentally knock bad pilots into asteroids? They warn him about acting naturally, then leave.

The albino lady Volmae interrogates John, about the crew that left, about the ship, about his day. John acts like he's high and passes with high colors.

In the meantime, Aeryn is almost terrified about touching Rygel. Or science, but I'm sure it has to do with Rygel. Aw, it's science. Pilot claims he too is not scientifically minded either. Aeryn is surprised by that. Oooh, neat little info dump - Pilot is bonded to Moya, and can intrinsically understand concepts for navigation and stuff pertaining to Moya, but other sciences he actually has to learn. Even though Moya has a huge library of data, he's not that understanding it even though he studies every chance he gets. He asks Aeryn not to spill the beans on this - bit of a sore spot. Whoever's animating the Pilot puppet deserves all the praise - It doesn't feel like a puppet.

Huh, so people actually make usable monitors in this universe. Good. Aeryn (and Pilot!) finish the scans.

Back to the weird oriental music, the farms and the crew. John acts like one of them through the day. While he takes one of those conic things to storage or something Aeryn contacts him to inform about Rygel, and ask what's going on down there. John's being extremely cagey here, unlike how he acted before, for some reason, it's infuriating. Like, it wasn't a problem to tell D'Argo about his sex visions in a previous episode, but a possible life altering parasite is 'I'll tell you later'? That's bullshit, Farscape. That's bullshit. Well, at least Rygel is fixed and we know it's the root that's causing it.

John then kidnaps the worm girl and tells her to spill the beans - can the worm be removed? What's the point of all this? The plant is not native to the planet, it turns out, it was brought here. Someone is using the planet to harvest this plant. Volmae the albino lady also has a worm, and she was chosen for this, but it could've been anyone. The planet needs John... to do loving what? Oh, he's a ship-haver so that must mean he'll fight and die for them.

John isn't unsympathetic, but man. This is stupid. What prevents him from grabbing soil samples and the root, loving off into his ship and calling Volmae and rat out the 'resistance'? Nothing. Also, the worm guy has fallen ill. Woo. He's deeply depressed about all this. The work day ends and John and the worm lady have a chat. The planet used to be a garden planet, but now everyone only cares about the root. And every cycle the planet gets more doomed yadda yadda yadda. Her father used to be a musician, but now his hands are ruined by heavy work. People used to line the streets to listen to her father, but now 'you have to help us'. Great segue there, lady.

Cut to the bar, Volmae finds John to have a little chat.

She asks John about life on board a ship, and then surprise! They travel thru a door with the peacekeeper insignia above it, entering a huge warehouse full of containers carrying the same insignia. She asks if Moya can carry enough of what's in the cargo hold. Not all, but she's going to need quite a lot. She figures, if they want the conical plants, it must have value somewhere else too. She then tells John he's to get the other crewmembers down on the planet - NOW. So far John's been playing the tripped-out-of-his-gourd, but he too notices the PK signs everywhere.

On the ship, Rygel is sadly unfrozen. He's very, very gratefuahaha I can't even finish it. He whines, oh poor me, but Aeryn is having none of it. Apparently, Crichton asked them to come down to the planet. Rygel asks why, but Aeryn's all 'eh, it's Crichton, who knows'. They make their way down to the planet while it's still night, and we get an aerial shot of the arcology.

Aeryn reunites with Crichton, asking what's going on. John goes 'I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain' like a shittily written character. He spills only a bit of what's going on, and Aeryn snaps. She's sick and tired of John being an idiot, and frankly so am I. They do a bit with forcing smiles and arguing, but John is adamant on being a loving idiot. She gives up and follows him.

Back in the pub, Volmae orders John to bring the last two crew here. He goes 'nah, I don't think I will' and smugly grins and leaves, and somehow turns the music off. I guess he has a plan and explained some of it off-camera. Volmae, her guards, D'Argo and Zhaan follows John, who demands to get his friends back.


Oh his plan is to use Rygel

And his explosive, bright green radioactive pee.

Do gently caress off.

Blah blah blah, tannot root is used to power peacekeeper weapons, this somehow shakes D'Argo enough blah blah they're let go.

The worm is removed by Aeryn using a chain-mail glove, lol.

What I liked: Aeryn trying something new, and her interactions with the Pilot.

What I disliked: The idiot ball plot. If John spills the beans about the conditions on the planet, like he was doing in earlier episodes in much weirder and still potentially dangerous situations, it'd be shorter so they had to write him being an idiot. And while expoding pee thing is funny on it's own, who the gently caress trusts Rygel at a juncture like that? The conclusion of the whole thing was like, okay, we'll - *gets nuked from orbit*. And Zhaan, despite being off the ship, did nothing again.


At least I know the next episode is good.

Conclusion: 3 cans of worms out of 10.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

S1E6 - "PK Tech Girl" aka 'GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!'

Ooh, a new mystery. A dead ship. Everyone's trying to evaluate if investigating is a good idea or bad. D'Argo wants in, Aeryn is indecisive, John wants nothing to do with it, and Rygel drops the name: Zelbinion.

According to a cursory google, Binion is a family name of Welsh origin. It implies stability and fortitude. Zel, on the other hand, is roman for zeal. So, Zeal of Fortitude, I guess?

It's the most feared ship in the peacekeeper armada! And still has air. Zhaan showing more sensibility than John when it comes to atmospheric conditions.

The derelict ship is empty, barren, and the establishing shot has soundbytes that are also used for insects so I'm expecting something that remained, and it is insectoid.

So peacekeepers grow up and die on their ships instead of planets. Interesting.

Really, John? You idiot, you know they have no reference frame for your pop culture. Aaaaargh. The aliens decide they're loving done with John's pop culture trivia so they let him take the point. And he finds a spooooooky skeleton, with water dripping all over the place like Alien. I won't be surprised if someone whips out a motion sensor. Aeryn's weapon is also very on the nose.

'Deep space dessication' doesn't quite fly, Aeryn, when your dessicated corpse is getting half soaked. Space can be horrifying, but it neither flash freezes, nor immediately dessicates a corpse. Now, I'll give them 100 years of drifting in space, but the ship still has somehow breathable air and gravity, so something is off.

Back at the ship, Zhaan is misjudging needling Rygel. He's a coward, he's not going to go looting he's afraid of something. He's also a) older than the derelict ship and b) lost his title before the ship was lost and c) was actually on Zelbinion before.

Our trio finds the nav-comp destroyed, but interestingly enough, comms are repaired, or according to Aeryn, 'regenerated'. And now we have a Newt situation in our hands. God damnit John, you don't know if she has space corona! And our newcomer also knows Aeryn Sun, because she's from Crais' ship.

Aeryn is all SIT STAND GIMME TWENTY but John points out that their captive is barely standing. 'More flies with honey' God DAMNIT John.

Rygel is being Rygel again back on Moya. Pilot's not having it. Is Zhaan being nice and understanding, or does she have another motive?

Once more, interrogating the 'poor techie'. And you were doing great re:science just last episode Aeryn. Crais dumped them and skedaddled, and another ship showed up to blast them down. The Sheyang, says D'Argo. Turns out Zelbinion was looted before, and there's no records. Then our techie condemns Aeryn, then calls upon their kinship to say, 'yeah lady, I don't know jack poo poo'.

Jump cut to a scene almost straight up lifted from Nostromo. Industrial background, chains rattling in the background, and water pouring over them. That's Rygel with John's pencil light.

Cut back to John and the others. Claudia Black is doing her best Vasquez impression while D'Argo splits the party. John and the techie remark upon how similar they look, and humanity's penchant for being idiots.

"If only you had used your know-how to-"
"To what? To fulfil your vision of who we should be?"
"To do good."
"We're peacekeepers, army for hire, we keep the peace"

And then Rygel cuts in "And do assasinatons, kidnapping and torture". And lobs a spitball right in the eye of the techie. He's really an unsanitary prick.

He then apparently fucks off for plot reasons, and gets a visit from a ghost from his past. He's not spitting now. Oh, and he also loses John's pencil light.

D'Argo and John's little group meet up. The ship's really looted down to the nails, it turns out. And our techie somehow recognizes a husked out corpse. Turns out Aeryn's whole unit got demoted and it's someone they both know. The demotion can only be cancelled by killing Aeryn. That's, uh, in line with saturday morning cartoon villainry but not for a spacefaring civilization imo.

Pilot warns Zhaan about a possible intruder, which makes Aeryn go supernova (). Crichton barely stops her before she kills the techie. The Sheyang did their thing while our techie hid (*cough*Newt*cough*) and they're coming back for the defense shield. They're also another one of those WARRIUR KULTUR aliens who will only back off by a force of strength. Unluckily for our crew, Moya is unarmed.

Oh hey look, John's now sprouting technobabble! Awwwwww. "It's progressive power draw, so the fibre pattern has to be maintained in sequence."

And we finally get to see the Sheyang. They look like rejected star wars creature ideas. They decide the leviathan is a good prize unto itself and start their attack. Frustrated, D'Argo starts attacking the scenery again. He rolls a nat20 on intimidate; Pilot and Zhaan decide it's the best time to broadcast that. Somehow it works.

After seeing how the DM is being soft on them, John tries to do the same with his repair tech skill.

Zhaan argues that D'Argo should keep on with the ruse, but D'Argo is handed the idiot ball and is claiming he can't lie to an opponent in battle. Technically that they're not in battle yet isn't dawning on his mind yet. Zhaan forces the issue, promising 'assitance' if they live.

John and Gilina the tech are having issues. Turns out she was afraid she'd get shot if she said they were out of luck, and then when John says 'We're not killers', she retorts by confirming how bad Crais' brother was at piloting by doing a suicide-by-shuttle on John's ship. John sets the record straight.

D'Argo and Zhaan are still busy rolling deception and intimidate checks, but the DM, through one of those Sheyangs, gives them an ultimatum - they're trying his patience. D'Argo realizes they're at the end of their borrowed time.

John and Gilina are busy working, and they build up a rapport... of sorts. John can not shut the gently caress up about earth pop culture. Poor Gilina.

She then fakes an accident to make John stop. Distracted by John, she drops weld sparks into her open, unprotected eye. OSHA would have a field day. They flirt a bit, but subverting my expectations they go back to work, but not before confirming they too have blockbuster action fiction.

Oh look Rygel's just hiding in a cupboard. Was it all a dream? Zhaan tells him to find the dead captain's corpse. Well, makes sense I guess, at least he'd be busy spitting at that instead of the others.

The Sheyang do a little coup, then decide destroying the leviathan is a better course than capturing it. In a jumpcut infested action scene, our heroes connect some wires and get the defense shield up, just in time to absorb the plasma delayed blast fireball. Dear god, they shoot the plasma by pulling a goddamn lever.



Sheyang's deposed leader wakes back up and is not impressed by his mutinous officer chewing the scenery.

Turns out the shield's defective - they only managed to boot up one layer. John then says, hey why not take the other layer to Moya? Gilina is not happy, but complies.

The Sheyang are doing the WARRIAR ALIUN KULTURE thing, throwing the failson on his own under the bus. He wows to capture the leviathan - and leave no survivors. He's going to kill Gilina and then die, won't he.

Speaking of whom, John and Gilina are bonding over 'cosmic theory'. Fermi Paradox, perhaps? Then John uses his EARTHLY MUSCLE to impress Gilina. The rising sexual tension finally erupts into a kiss (ew John you're kissing Rygel's spit), which is then of course ruined by Aeryn. Well, at least it's not Rygel. She then huffs and puffs and hulks out with a huge rear end power unit. John follows like a stupid puppy, and we have a half-assed confession from Aeryn that she found him ... interesting. Of course, Crichton was naked when she found him. And then he opened his mouth so all the interest obviously vanished.

In the meantime, we have Rygel in his quest to face the past. His tormentor killed himself, it turns out. And of course Rygel finishes this scene with spitting. What the gently caress was I expecting?

At least 12 sheyang are en route to gently caress poo poo up, and Johnny boy has to use EARTHLY MUSCLE to hold two magnetic plates apart! And oh no! A Sheyang ship is in the shield, and is probably heading right towards them. Aeryn intercepts the Sheyang failson, but look, he's cosplaying as Yoshi, spitting out fireballs and poo poo!

Our Froggy keeps blocking Aeryn's way and then starts unwelding the shield room's door. He doesn't care if they're unarmed, he's going to fireball them all!


Luckily for everyone involved, Aeryn 360noscopes the guy, and then cracks a one-liner.

Back at the ship, they weigh their options once more. Let the tech go, or...? Well, Aeryn says 'if she speaks up, she's in a similar situation as I am - anyone touched by John is marked'. They drop a distress call to the PK (oh, I get it, PeaceKeeper Tech Girl...) carrier and the Sheyang leave - with a veiled threat, of course.

Aeryn and John say goodbye to Gilina. John manages to steal another kiss. After she leaves, Johnny boy and Aeryn have a bit of heart-to-heart, which John once again ruins by mentioning earth pop culture.

What I liked: Every scene Aeryn was in, more or less, since it's giving slight background info for the PK faction.

What I didn't like: Rygel. Zhaan's still not doing anything. And I really don't like 'too stupid to live' spacefaring cultures as portrayed.

Overall rating: 7 fake alien chestbursters out of 10. The main plot wasn't bad, but dear god any scene involving Rygel (except the opening shot) was a drag. Hope we get to see PK Tech Girl again!

and the cia document grows...

Oct 15, 2004

S1E10 - They've got a Secret

D'Argo, you're the dumbest escaped prisoner ever. You belong in Florida.

he's going to pull a wire without any info from pilot because he's an idiot.

yup. Called it.

For fucks' sake D'Argo, you were in this problem because you broke something you didn't understand. So the first thing you do finding ANOTHER piece of PK gear is to break it?

Luxan's can survive a while in space? This is gonna come up again this episode I think.

Was this fluid brain juice? Pilot seems like he can't thunk so good.

Man, Aeryn does "really fuckin mad at Chriton" really good.

THey keep talking about the air being cold and stale. I can't tell if this is a Moya immune system response, or if that's the bio-mechanical virus itself.

Oh hey, that DRD is reprogramming the other one.

Those are some huge rear end buttons pilot has to use.

Oh ffs the only way to make this worse is to have Rygel show up. So Rygel shows up stealing poo poo.

It's not a virus, it's Moya's white cells!

Funny how D'Argo sees Chriton as an enemy even when he's all broke brained.

I guess flashlights are universally apt to just fail when needed.

That is a LOT of DRDs. DRDs with guns.

I thought the translator shot was bacteria that everyone has? Also, why is he saying when we're UP in the mountains the air is thicker?

I don't believe Lo'Laan's brother killed her. D'Argo loves to blame everyone else for his failures.

OH poo poo D'ARGO MARRIED A PK! Okay, I take it back. I believe her brother killed her.

Running low on oxygen in like 5 minutes? That's a lovely space suit.

Is this Moya's reproductive functions or something? Also if they found the spot where the particles are from why are they still cutting Moya's brain?

Chriton loving answer the radio.

Called it! Moya's havin a baby.

Lotta back story unpacking here. I wonder if D'Argo will stop making GBS threads on Aeryn every other breath now.

Oct 15, 2004

CainFortea posted:

S1E6 - Thank god it's Friday. Again.

I swear i've heard this background music in Command and Conquer Generals. The bit when they are all going out into the fields.

Well, it's not the same but similar enough to bug me and make me think on it too much.
23:51 is the time stamp

Oct 15, 2004

S1E11 - Till the Blood Runs Clear

"60% chance probably, 70, maybe 80 even!"

Well, I know this is going to have a fair bit to do with D'Argo with a title like that.

Did they add Moya parts to Chriton's pod? And give it extra seats? I do like how he's basically just being a space nerd right now.

Was Zhaan sharing Moya's enjoyment of having the sun on her?

AHAHAHA the wormhole idea worked! That's pretty wild.

I'm really glad Zhaan's anger comes out at Rygel. gently caress that guy.

And i'm really tired of D'Argo being a super dick. Like, he was much better earlier when he was gruff and untrusting. Now it's not that he distrusts the others, it's more like he just hates everyone.

Photogasm seems pretty great.

D'Argo would kill Moya to protect his sword rifle. But he expects Chriton to just blow up his module.

I wonder how long it's going to be before they realize she is going to steal the module or strip it for parts or something.

Oh, nope. Gonna get in a fight with bounty hunters. Also they're really aggressive.

Butch and Sundance eh? Niiiiice.

Of courge D'Argo is gonna go down.

For bounty hunters they are REALLY bad at money math.

Aeryn please don't fall for it, you know very well Crais is lying.

D'Argo is going to get chumped by 2 wolf people and still act like he's a hard rear end. Yup, there it is. Oh, good, and he's probably hosed up Chriton's cover.

Man these punchy fight sound effects are like, PEAK 90s. Did Aeryn go blind? Yup.

Oh good, Zhaan is going down to the planet now so she can get captured too.

How come none of them just land at the settlement?

D'Argo you have an arm free. You don't have to try and break the other straps. Just....undo them. Like a tool using sapient creature.

Lol, Chriton bluffing isn't going to work anymore.

I hope he gave her the voice logs he was recording and not the actual data...

Oh, nope, end of episode.

May 23, 2011

Lipstick Apathy

Welp I need to go thru 4 episodes today to catch up to Cain. I guess I'm dropping the CIA documents. I'll just list what I liked and disliked per episode and some tidbits.

Jul 18, 2011

Modern worldly poster

E. This is why I don't post before coffee.

docbeard fucked around with this message at 01:49 on Aug 18, 2020

Oct 13, 2010

The Oncoming Storm

Doc is dropping a seriously late show spoiler for reasons I can't figure out, so be careful.

Jul 18, 2011

Modern worldly poster

Polaron posted:

Doc is dropping a seriously late show spoiler for reasons I can't figure out, so be careful.

Doc does not always employ the best judgment before he is fully awake and should not post until then. Thanks to Roth for covering my shame until I was able to do so properly.


Dec 3, 2005

Farsacape was the pinnacle achievement of humanity. That's why is all been downhill since it ended. Our species has served it's purpose in the universe and it's time to accept our fate as we re-watch it while slipping steadily into oblivion, taking comfort in the recognition of a job well done.

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