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magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation

do mundane errands and poo poo for him like

"my son. for untold years i have watched you grow from a weak fledgling into the strongest member of our clan. It is time for you to face your true destiny"

*hands over keys to the prius*

"pick up my dry-cleaning"

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magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation

*master shoves the 4th 7 layer burrito from taco bell down my throat as we train for the inter-clan picnic and spring fling family fun day*

"pain is weakness leaving the body"




----------------
Thanks to Pot Smoke Phoenix, and Heather Papps, and Nut For The Amazing Sigs!

Evil Bob

I've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be believed.


"For untold years you have studied under me, I have seen you best the greatest martial arts masters from both the east and the west. However it is only now that your true calling comes into view"

*Hands disciple a small gardening shovel and paper bag*

"I have company coming over this evening so you must go now, and pluck all of the dog feces from my back yard"


Something strange is happening in Spoonville...(click the Sig by Luvcow to find out)

Epic and Spooky Fall sig courtesy of nut

FutonForensic


"you are my favorite pupil. you are the only one i trust to purge the darkness that i hide"

"master. im not gonna bleach your butthole for you. open the wikihow link i sent you, its a very simple procedure to do yourself"

"f-favorite pupil"

google THIS


I didn't realize what my master was doing all those years I practiced blocking attacks from various directions, but now I'm the best car waxer, floor sander, and fence painter in town.

cda

Once you can snatch this grasshopper from my hand you will be ready take my shih tzu to the groomers

albany academy


cda posted:

Once you can snatch this grasshopper from my hand you will be ready take my shih tzu to the groomers

idiotsavant

i don't care!
bad-rear end ninja master who teaches his disciples to lust

idiotsavant

i don't care!
now that you have achieved internal awakening, lu tsao, now i can teach you our schools most sacred technique, One Horny Finger

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

"When you have mastered the placement of the toilet paper in the toilet paper holder, you will be able to advance in your training!" my sensei says to me, the seam of the toilet paper facing in such a way as to prevent the dojo's cat, Mr. Fuzzy Buttz from being able to disengorge the entire contents of the toilet paper roll all over the floor. That is to say- the seam was facing "down", so the roll wold not unfurl. No matter how many times Mr. Fuzzy Butts (all praise be to his name!) shall bap the toilet paper roll- it shall NOT spin and empty its contents upon the bathroom floor, instead it will harmlessly spin looping around and around the roll, as nature intended it to do.



Sig sandwich by Manifisto Luvcow and Barking Gecko, some very fine BYOB people Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation

*standing by a huge keg of beer*

"Now I will show you my most sacred technique, the death palm strike. Use it only for good, never for evil"

*master taps a keg with flawless precision as the assembled clan members go absolutely apeshit*




----------------
Thanks to Pot Smoke Phoenix, and Heather Papps, and Nut For The Amazing Sigs!

magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation

using my decades of ninja training to dominate at kancho




----------------
Thanks to Pot Smoke Phoenix, and Heather Papps, and Nut For The Amazing Sigs!

prepuce repurposed

felt cute, might delete later



magic cactus posted:

using my decades of ninja training to dominate at kancho

not if I goose u first bithc

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

magic cactus posted:

using my decades of ninja training to dominate at kancho

Me: "Sensei, I need to know the defensive move for this offense!"

Sensei: "Cover your rear end, it's like- the first lesson- geeze!"



Sig sandwich by Manifisto Luvcow and Barking Gecko, some very fine BYOB people Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Barking Gecko

Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Me: "Sensei, I need to know the defensive move for this offense!"

Sensei: "Cover your rear end, it's like- the first lesson- geeze!"

Kancho Krew?

Khanstant


unleash an SBD in the heart of the shogun's castle undetected and you will earn your first belt

Pot Smoke Phoenix

It's not as bad as it looks

Barking Gecko posted:

Kancho Krew?



Sig sandwich by Manifisto Luvcow and Barking Gecko, some very fine BYOB people Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Thunder Moose

S.J.C.
Like the plot to Beverly Hills Ninja!

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FutonForensic


I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks. but i fear the nice student who could deliver me 10 Spicy Chicken Kickerz 10,000 times

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