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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


Ok well keep us informed.

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
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MyronMulch posted:

New topic: If they made a porn parody Transformers movie, what would the title be?

"Transformers! Some got in my eye!"

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
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Valko posted:

I'm late on this but it wouldn't surprise me if there was a porno already out there with the name Transformers featuring transexuals.

Why would you think that?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


RandomFerret posted:

Yeah op its called the Masterpiece line. They cost $200 apiece and the instruction manual is the size of a goosebumps book which is not very big for a book but I think you can agree that's quite a lot of steps for a toy



It's pretty impressive how screen-accurate they are, because the show didn't even pretend to make the transformation actually work

That looks dumb as hell

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
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Bust Rodd posted:

As a 90’s kid Beast Wars were the pinnacle Birthday present or reward for good grades. I had all the dope ones and some of the lame little ones. I remember when I was in college I popped in to a TOYS R US one day for a gift for a nephew and was DISGUSTED to see they had “transformers action figures” which were just action figures from the movies that DIDNT FUCKIN TRANSFORM.

Toys have become impossibly cheap and lovely, we really did have the best toys.

"Wow, GI Joe, thanks uncle Bust!"

Yea well, it's not GI anymore really, it's JUST 'Joe' now. Joe comes with an untucked action polo shirt and jeans. They don't give 'em guns anymore but he come's with a little half handle of vodka and an expression that says he's given up. What else you got kiddo?

"Oh man, a Joe-Car! With real sounds and action! It's a BATTLE TA-"

Eh it's a 2009 Joe-oyta Camry with the 4cyl. The lights tell Joe he needs an oil change and the action is for when he has the vodka it ejects the child seat through the windshield. So.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


Rasta_Al posted:

Transgenders: They’re not girls they’re guys

who is?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


RandomFerret posted:

Oh, that's the record that was put aboard the Voyager 2 space probe. See, Beast Wars was supposed to take place in the same continuity as the original cartoon, and it turns out that Megatron hijacked the message of peace and welcoming that NASA put on there and embedded a hologram telling the Decepticons where to find Earth, which had rich deposits of raw crystalised energon. Never mind that the Voyager probes launched in 1977, when all the autobots and decepticons were in stasis inside a volcano. Also never mind that everybody on Cybertron already knew where Earth was and in fact the two planets had embassies in the animated movie. Apparently all these functionally immortal robots just forgot all about it in less than one generation.

Okay, so a hundred years later the war is over, cybertron is at peace, and there are no more autobots and decepticons. Now there's an energy crisis that prompts everybody to start making themselves smaller, so now they all turn into animals instead of cool things like giant tanks and poo poo. Tensions are simmering because of the crisis, and that's when Voyager 2 just happens to pass by cybertron. It is discovered by the leader of a small terrorist cell who decodes the message and, realizing what it means, changes his name to Megatron in order to make the timeline more confusing sell more toys honour the original decepticon cause.

The terrorists declare themselves to be Predacons because hasbro already had that name trademarked in the 80s and go to attack Earth. There was only one ship close enough to chase after them, so there's where the good guys in the toyline come from, but when they get near earth oh poo poo there's a technobabble time wave and they crash land on earth millions of years in the past. This fact is the big reveal in the season 2 finale, even though they're clearly surrounded by earth animals the whole time. They scan the surrounding life, the Maximals (good guys) all turn into different mammals because of the previously established rule that the good guys have to turn into lame things like cargo trucks and volkswagens and the Predacons all turn into dinosaurs and giant bugs. Megatron turns into a purple tyrannosaurus with a green belly because the designers were big Barney the dinosaur fans. Eventually the guy that turns into a velociraptor switches sides and steals the gold record even though it's now useless and then dies quoting shakespeare, making him everybody's favourite character.

What I'm saying is transformers already had a dark, gritty CGI animated series with complex storylines back in 1996, and it was loving stupid.

alright so how much fuckin is there? Robot on robot, dino on dino, robot on dino, all of the above really

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


Transformers! Burgers, Shakes, and Fries!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
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Archer666 posted:

Imagine this, for adults

Have you NOT been?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
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Colonel Cancer posted:

Dig the burning grenade-on-a-stick crossbow

I am the pilot of the log cabin with war of the worlds alien walker legs and a satellite dish for some reason. I am extremely highly trained at this.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


"A guy walks around and does stuff."

Haha fuckin sold, print it!

"Can't believe they make money on this!!"

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
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Son of Rodney posted:

transformers were the loving bomb when I was a kid, I tried watching it again in my early 20s and it was such garbage, even while high. I still want a transformers toy since I never had one as a kid, maybe one day Ill be lucky at a flea market.

yeah.
I tried watching them a long while back. More recently when they were streaming all the old GI Joe episodes I gave those a shot for a bit, since those go so hand in hand. Try watching that poo poo stone cold sober as an adult. Jesus.

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