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All dogs are actually five cats in a trenchcoat.
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Jan 20, 2021 12:09
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It is impossible to tell both the location and velocity of a dog.
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Jan 22, 2021 08:07
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Dog eggs were considered a delicacy around the world, nearly causing dogs to be driven to extinction. They decided to become mammals to stop humans from poaching their eggs in response. Dogs still miss laying eggs and will cry when they see them. This is why dogs howl at the moon, the biggest dog egg.
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Jan 22, 2021 09:43
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Some day the moon will hatch. Will it be a moon-sized space puppy, or a moon-sized brood of space puppies?
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Jan 22, 2021 09:46
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Geemer posted:Dog eggs were considered a delicacy around the world, nearly causing dogs to be driven to extinction. They decided to become mammals to stop humans from poaching their eggs in response. This is actually why dogs spin around three times before lying down. Prior to mammalization they would perform a similar dance before laying their eggs.
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Jan 22, 2021 13:09
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A common dog fetish is the "bulldog" face.
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Jan 25, 2021 20:41
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Bula Vinaka posted:A common dog fetish is the "bulldog" face. Cataboo dogs are all about ahemeow.
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Jan 26, 2021 09:34
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When a dog's owner dies at home and the body isn't found for a while, their dog typically eats their face, liver and genitals, leaving the corpse a swollen mangled bloody mess for the unfortunate next of kin to identify. Actually, it's cats.
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Jan 26, 2021 09:56
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BigBadSteve posted:When a dog's owner dies at home and the body isn't found for a while, their dog typically eats their genitals That’s just revenge for the neutering.
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Jan 26, 2021 21:06
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Dogs don't know it's not bacon.
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Jan 26, 2021 22:14
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Bula Vinaka posted:Dogs don't know it's not bacon. 
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Jan 26, 2021 23:24
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It is erroneously understood that dogs have a vocabulary of around 35 words. They actually have a vocabulary of 69 words.
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Feb 11, 2021 18:27
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Dogs are the greatest falsehood
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Feb 11, 2021 19:57
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Lil Peeler posted:It is erroneously understood that dogs have a vocabulary of around 35 words. They actually have a vocabulary of 69 words. One of those words is “nice”
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Feb 11, 2021 20:14
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Dogs are succeptable to covid, but all it does is make them good boys/girls.
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Feb 13, 2021 10:46
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When dogs drink out of the toilet bowl it's because they're looking for turds to swallow whole. (Not far from the truth, this one.)
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Feb 13, 2021 11:40
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Help I'm being held hostage by a dog. He can't read so I told him this was the bone store and I that I am ordering the bones he's demanding. The only real Bone Store I can find sell shoes. Please send the dog catcher.
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Feb 13, 2021 11:49
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BigBadSteve posted:(Not far from the truth, this one.) All dog falsehoods contain within them dog truths.
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Feb 13, 2021 13:08
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Help I'm being held hostage by a dog. He can't read so I told him this was the bone store and I that I am ordering the bones he's demanding. The only real Bone Store I can find sell shoes. Please send the dog catcher. Pretend to hold a bone in your hand and then make a throwing motion. Use the resulting confusion to make your escape.
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Feb 13, 2021 13:22
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Pretend to hold a bone in your hand and then make a throwing motion. Use the resulting confusion to make your escape. It didn't work. Who's a smart boy? He is! He is... 
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Feb 13, 2021 13:31
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Dogs only give birth at night
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Feb 15, 2021 00:09
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You can ask a dog any question. The answer may surprise you.
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Feb 25, 2021 10:16
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What are trees covered in, dog?
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Feb 25, 2021 16:01
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[Pizza Hut executive board room1963] Chief executive: All right. We need a distinctive look for our restaurants. What should be their signature feature? consultant who is a dog: Mansard!
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Mar 1, 2021 06:34
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Dogshit USED to be white
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Mar 1, 2021 06:41
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While it's possible to infer that dogs exist, it's impossible to prove conclusively.
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Apr 13, 2021 12:57
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Dogs evolved from plants. That's why they dig: to find their roots.
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Apr 29, 2021 00:06
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A dog has a mass of about 1.4 times the mass of the sun, but is not much bigger than a small city, about 15 km in radius.
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May 28, 2021 21:15
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