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Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



I'm like 30,000 feet above ground and I decided to pay for internet. So the next 3 hours I get to tell you guys about my flight

right now I'm out of the Jalapeno combos that I brought on board, there's two kids crying behind me, i have no headphones

I need to rip a massive fart as I type this up.

No snakes, no Samuel L Jackson


I might just go ahead and fart

AMA about my adventures


edit: https://www.flightradar24.com/QXE2695/2523cb72 the flight im on!

Nice and hot piss fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Aug 6, 2020

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Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie



Why would you fly without headphones?

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Universe Master posted:

Why would you fly without headphones?

Because my initial connecting flight left at 5 A.M and I woke up at 3 and left them charging on my computer.

So these are the consequences I get to deal with. Kid number 2 has joined the party and they are now dueling to see who can be the loudest

low key sex master
May 27, 2004




plot twist I'm the plane you're flying on

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



low key sex master posted:

plot twist I'm the plane you're flying on

can you do a barrel roll?

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 20 days!


Muldoon

Can you give details so we can find it on Flightradar24

low key sex master
May 27, 2004




Nice and hot piss posted:

can you do a barrel roll?

I can but people get mad at it because they're all like "oh spilled drinks" and "oh stalled out"

It's pretty annoying tbh

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



which airline

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 6, 2010



How were the combos, I've never tried that flavour.

They're such a disgusting, unappetizing shameful snack. I freakin love em.

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008




Airplane crashes typically happen within the first 3 minutes of take off and the last 8 mins near landing.

The safest place to sit is where the crew sits, facing the opposite way. The safest place to sit in a crash statistically is right above the wing with the next section being further back.

Airplane maintenance is often done by the lowest bidder. Most plane crashes are due to pilot error.

Jeffrey Dahmer
May 21, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 20 days!


Muldoon

With enough effort we can probably bring it down

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Jeffrey Dahmer posted:

Can you give details so we can find it on Flight24

I tried to open up the door to see what the tail number was but the flight attendant got mad and told me I couldn't have any more pretzels if I try that again

SEA to MCI

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

the hell kinda hosed up headphones need charging

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008




but seriously planes are really loving cool and you'll be fine. turbulence almost never brings down planes, I think the last one was in like 1966 but current designs and training should prevent it from ever happening again

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



SilvergunSuperman posted:

How were the combos, I've never tried that flavour.

They're such a disgusting, unappetizing shameful snack. I freakin love em.

Jalapeno combo's are my third favorite, followed by the Buffalo blue cheese combos and the best being the Honey Mustard.

They're so drat delicious. it's a 50/50 chance you'll end up with spicy poops regarding the jalapenos

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019




What's your seat number also what are you wearing right now?

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

open up google maps on your phone so gps can show you where you are in real time

write negative reviews about businesses youre 30000 feet above regarding their roofs

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Slumpy posted:

but seriously planes are really loving cool and you'll be fine. turbulence almost never brings down planes, I think the last one was in like 1966 but current designs and training should prevent it from ever happening again

I did flight nursing for a bit over 2 years and I flew in a King Air 200 and Pilatus PC-12. Even with two emergency landings flying is the loving tits. I miss that job.

Technically per FAA regulations I was considered a "flight attendant" as a part of our part 135 flight operation.

I should let them know so I can push that beverage cart around.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



Slumpy posted:

Airplane crashes typically happen within the first 3 minutes of take off and the last 8 mins near landing.

The safest place to sit is where the crew sits, facing the opposite way. The safest place to sit in a crash statistically is right above the wing with the next section being further back.

Airplane maintenance is often done by the lowest bidder. Most plane crashes are due to pilot error.

so many accidents happen during the loving parking

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Bronze Fonz posted:

What's your seat number also what are you wearing right now?

I'm a person who has 2 arms and 2 legs

update: I farted

second update: i'm on alaska airlines lol

Nice and hot piss fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Aug 6, 2020

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie



Mooey Cow posted:

the hell kinda hosed up headphones need charging

Cell phone manufacturers removed the standard headphone jack so everyone could buy Bluetooth headphones that are very expensive and require charging. This is an "improvement"

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008




Nice and hot piss posted:

I did flight nursing for a bit over 2 years and I flew in a King Air 200 and Pilatus PC-12. Even with two emergency landings flying is the loving tits. I miss that job.

Technically per FAA regulations I was considered a "flight attendant" as a part of our part 135 flight operation.

I should let them know so I can push that beverage cart around.

thats loving cool. do you have interest in piloting?

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Universe Master posted:

Cell phone manufacturers removed the standard headphone jack so everyone could buy Bluetooth headphones that are very expensive and require charging. This is an "improvement"

yeah. I have a pixel and thus no headphone jack. I use jaybird earbuds and they're about 5 ish years old. I need new ones.

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007



Dinosaur Gum

Gay

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Nap Ghost

God I hate flying so loving much. The incessant whine, the perpetual low-level headache and the never-quite-right feeling in my ears. If I go to hell when I die, it will take the form of a perpetual plane flight.

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



update: I took my seatbelt off and since nobody is in my row i have stretched out.

Craptacular
Jul 11, 2004



Nice and hot piss posted:

I tried to open up the door to see what the tail number was but the flight attendant got mad and told me I couldn't have any more pretzels if I try that again

SEA to MCI

https://www.flightradar24.com/QXE2695 ?

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 6, 2010



Wait there's honey mustard combos?? I have not been living my best life.

Universe Master posted:

Cell phone manufacturers removed the standard headphone jack so everyone could buy Bluetooth headphones that are very expensive and require charging. This is an "improvement"

For some reason having earbuds yanked from my ears via cord summons an extremely primal rage in me so I'm more than happy to pay for cheap bluedio crap.

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008





bro you're over flaming gorge? is that a WoW expansion?

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



SilvergunSuperman posted:

Wait there's honey mustard combos?? I have not been living my best life.



Yeah! They are the best but I've only found em in a few locations. Central oregon doesn't have as many big gas stations to grab snacks in so I've only found them in the super big stations where they carry more than just cheddar and pizza flavored



hey thats me! Holy poo poo there are a ton of planes around, I wonder if I should let the PIC know to watch out for other planes. Defensive flying is the best flying

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

one step done and another begun



Nap Ghost

it's me i'm the captain



don't worry i've got myself completely under control

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008




Nice and hot piss posted:



hey thats me! Holy poo poo there are a ton of planes around, I wonder if I should let the PIC know to watch out for other planes. Defensive flying is the best flying

if anything its actually way less than usual

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Slumpy posted:

bro you're over flaming gorge? is that a WoW expansion?

I think so, I'm heading into contested territory since my buddies not able to summon me. Worst Warlock ever

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



if u r on the lefthand side you can look up a bit and probably see that 767


otherwise idk what o tell you kiddo

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



GolfHole posted:

if u r on the lefthand side you can look up a bit and probably see that 767


otherwise idk what o tell you kiddo

they just rolled down their window and asked if we had any grey poupon

also the crying kid is throwing a massive tantrum now.

sure okay
Apr 7, 2006





College Slice

so were just gonna take this guy at his word? That hes on a plane?

You're not fooling me OP. Planes aren't real.

Dr. Heart Collapse
Oct 30, 2010

open your eyes


hi guys

and i am high on MDMA + comple ENLIGHTENMENT

don't worry you're all ready there

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



sure okay posted:

so were just gonna take this guy at his word? That hes on a plane?

You're not fooling me OP. Planes aren't real.


I am, and what I can tell you is the earth is absolutely flat.

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007





How many people on board are masked up

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Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004



Pretty good posted:

How many people on board are masked up

Everyone. Alaska airlines told us that they are pretty much no tolerance on not wearing a mask. So everyone is doing pretty good!

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