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Grevling posted:I got some free tampons when I began at university and I've held on to them. I don't know why, I guess I think if I ever have a lady friend or lover have an emergency I will gallantly offer her one of these tampons. So far this has not happened and I suppose it's unlikely it will. I'll have any ladies reading this know they're very fun and colorful. You can put them in a decorative jar in your bathroom. That way if a visitor needs them they are just there all handy like. Some ladies are uncomfortable talking about their periods and won't ask if you have supplies, so if the location isn't obvious they'll just make a makeshift pad out of a big wad of toilet paper and leave ASAP.  Pretty.  This version includes chocolate. Pro move.  Not sure about this. If they are likely to be there literally for years, a container with a lid will keep them from getting dusty or humid.  LOL there are even companies who sell them in jars for just this purpose.
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Aug 8, 2020 04:03
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Who What Now posted:Do y'all ladies ever pop a squat and try to push it all out at once to get it over with? Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. The uterine lining doesn't liquify all at once. You know when you go to the dentist and they have that tube that vacuums out all your saliva? Sometimes I really wish I could just jam that in my uterus to get the whole thing over with. Seems like it should be able to scoot right past the cervix.
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Aug 8, 2020 04:13
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teen witch posted:Ok please take me through menstrual cups as I feel like I could wing it but I’m so afraid of one wrong move and like, gallons shooting out at me somehow pressurized Nah. When it gets over-full it can leak, but that's just a dribble as fluid oozes around the outside of the cup. And you have plenty of warning that it is getting full before that happens, because when it is full it sits lower and you can feel it a bit. Like how when a tampon is sitting right you don't really feel it at all, but if it is sitting too low you can totally feel it. Unless you have a tipped cervix, which you probably don't know about. In that case the fluid sometimes doesn't go in the cup and instead oozes right on by the outside. They can still work, but positioning is a bit more fiddly.  They most common problem new users have is getting it in, and then getting it out. Getting it in is easier than getting it out. You have to have the flexibility and geometry to get your thumb up in there past the pubic bone, so you can squeeze the end of the cup and break the seal. The bottom end of the cup has a stick, but that just helps you find the cup, pulling on the stick will not remove it. You can kinda get a sense of how this works by trying to remove a tampon by gripping the end of the tampon instead of the string. You really gotta get up in there. That said most women who don't have a weird spine, a bad back, and aren't super super fat are able to get the hang of it.
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Aug 8, 2020 19:46
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Who What Now posted:I never realized that women had shallow vestigial anuses you never heard that girls don't poop?
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Aug 8, 2020 20:09
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Dont Touch ME posted:You ever menstruate so hard that your uterus rockets out of your vagina inverted, and your ovaries develop hundreds of torsions in the rifling before getting stuck together in a knot, and you just have this flaky fleshy mass hanging between your legs and you walk around everywhere like a grandfather clock going GONG GONG GONG so nobody asks questions about your crotchless pants Yeah that's perfectly normal.
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Aug 8, 2020 23:49
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DemonDarkhorse posted:when i was in high school this actually happened to me, but it was april. it was like a normal period, just lasted a month. not sure how i didnt die of blood loss tbh, that was the height of my depression where i was living on popsicles and toast. Menstrual fluid is mostly not blood. There's liquified uterine lining, anticoagulant, mucus, and various goos. The viscosity and texture is way different than blood. Your circulatory system doesn't straight up dump perfectly good blood into your uterus for no good reason. That would be hemorrhaging, not menstruating.
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Aug 10, 2020 04:24
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What's up with that U in menstruating? Seems like if you pronounce the U it adds a pointless extra syllable. If you don't pronounce it, what's it even doing there?
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Aug 10, 2020 04:25
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Ralph Crammed In posted:There's really no good way to deal with catching the blood, is there? Menstruation is the strongest argument against intelligent design cause what are we supposed to do 'naturally' about it? Be pregnant and/or breast feeding constantly from puberty until menopause, duh. Or death. Probably death.
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Aug 10, 2020 19:15
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HIJK posted:Your mother is a creep for going thru trash I can imagine a kid going through a dozen pads a day tho. They don't know what's normal. Of course the answer to that is to have a big gross talk about how to know when it is time to change a pad. Why dig through the trash like a hungry stray dog? Well, some ladies do wear super++ pads and still have to change them every 2 hours due to flooding. So it's possible a kid who seems to be using "too many" could be having a medical problem, or super floods, or something. And if your a mom who hates talking to your kids about their reproductive system, then digging through the trash to check for yourself might seem easier than having a diagnostic discussion to find out why your kid is using so many dang pads. Moms can be idiots too.
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Aug 10, 2020 22:47
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what was she doing, dumpster diving for nutritious pads? Changing your menstrual pad daily is basic hygiene, women who try to force their kids not to do that are universally scum. (This is not the first time I've encountered a story like this and the other mom who did that was a loving scumbag.)
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:o there she is While you probably wouldn't want to wear them out and about because they are bulky, they are aces for overnight protection. A few years back I got tired of occasionally having to deal with a blood spot on the sheets first thing in the morning and said gently caress it, depends it is. Works great, haven't had a night time leak since.
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Aug 12, 2020 16:05
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Crusty Nutsack posted:I'm sure for some that's a reason. but no, most men are just stupid, embarrassed morons when it comes to buying tampons for us Guys doing the shopping also have the problem of facing a huge wall of products they don't understand. Does the range of tampons from "slim" to "super plus" refer to vagina size?  When it comes to pads, thicker is better, right? Those thin ones don't look like they can hold much at all, now the super thick overnight incontinence pads, those look dependable! Should you get the ones that come in jazzy brightly coloured boxes, or subtle medical looking things like what your old mum used to have? What's the deal with wings and walls? And if they get it wrong the lady may be insulted somehow. Or just shake her head and give you the look. I feel for them. I get decision paralysis in the yogurt aisle.
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Aug 12, 2020 17:28
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:I never got asked to buy tamps for any of my partners Depends on what the lady values. Plastic ones are more comfortable. Cardboard ones are better for the environment. There are also ones with no applicator at all where you wedge the cotton up there with your finger, which is obviously even better for the environment but a surprising number of ladies are freaked out by them.
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Aug 12, 2020 17:32
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The yogurt aisle is some bullshit these days. When I was a kid there was plain, fruit on the bottom or fruit mixed in, and maybe 2 or 3 brands, and like 4 different fruits. Now there's fat free. Sugar free. Reduced fat. No sugar added. Full fat. 11% fat, what the gently caress, that's just sour cream. Extra thick. Extra runny. Probiotic yogurt. Prebiotic yogurt. Gluten free, why was there gluten? Organic. Vegan (what??). 20 different brands. A wild array of fruits. Plus some things that aren't even fruit, like coconut or vanilla flavor. The yogurt aisle is a loving minefield these days.
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Aug 12, 2020 17:48
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xcheopis posted:This was definitely not true until relatively recently, though. And I always tell them exactly what to buy, so no excuse there, either. Yeah, they do have the advantage that someone can just tell them what to get. I was mostly riffing on my half-remembered shopping experiences when I was 11-15 and not at all sure what I should buy for myself.
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Aug 12, 2020 18:14
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Strumpie posted:i have a serious question. Like others have said, you really have to ask the lady in question. For some a lower back rub or an orgasm will help the cramps and discomfort a bunch, but for others being touched in any way at all is uncomfortable. If you do end up with a lady with bad periods try not to stress about it too much. It's not your fault. It's not her fault. It's just the biological lottery and everybody "wins" something lovely eventually.
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Aug 13, 2020 06:06
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:raise your hand if you know about pinkwashing and you don't care as much as you should because you really love pink so you're usually like "oh ok bonus" Same. Though it's not so much that I love pink as that I hate grey. So if there's a grey version and a pink version hell yeah pink. Not keen on the black and red combo either (sorry beastmasterJ). Though that only goes for otherwise identical items. For tools and stuff if it isn't identical you have to take a good hard look at whether the 'girl version' is just pink and maybe sized for smaller hands, or if it's flimsy underpowered garbage. A lot of "for women" stuff is flimsier than the man version at the same price point. When I live in the mountains a lot of time I'd buy coats from the boy's section. It would be a sturdier, warmer coat than the girl version at the same price point. No cutesy details, but who really cares in the snow? Boots too. Weirdly the boots for boys often had much better treads than the boots for girls. WTF? Girls also enjoy not slipping on snow and ice.
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Aug 14, 2020 01:32
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Uh, is this the thread for menstruation or werewolves?
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Aug 24, 2020 19:43
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Elentor posted:I try to be fine with it but then I get exchanges like: You'll have the last laugh when your boobs still look pretty normal in 40 years and all the busty old ladies are tripping over our dangly protuberances.
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Aug 25, 2020 19:26
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Miss Broccoli posted:atleast y'all get to retire im going to be on hrt till im in the ground Wait you don't get to have menopause? Sucks. Yeah i guess your beard might come back, but all my aunties can grow beards these days.
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Aug 26, 2020 04:38
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Pookah posted:I get that thing where you get a really specific, sharp pain in an ovary on the day I'm ovulating, which is uncomfortable but also it's kind of useful to know so exactly when it's happening. I also get insanely tired in the days just before my period starts, and generally feel much better when it does kick off. Skratte posted:hate gettin' those ovulation pains. Every middle of the cycle I'm like OH NO WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME but it's just my ovaries popping out a big one In biology class the female teacher was describing human ovulation and said you can't feel it. About half the girls in class said "yeah we can" LOL. She'd never heard of it before that. Anyway, if it's any consolation that pain might go away. I could feel it as a teen but it went away in my 20s or 30s sometime. Then again it could also get worse, because being a woman is an awesome adventure.
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Sep 6, 2020 19:57
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I just remembered this guy, lol.  But maybe women don't want to glue their delicate bits together? Well that's only because women are dumb and distracted by their gross menstrual leaks all the time. 
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Sep 8, 2020 05:07
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Spinz posted:Honestly it couldn't have been a good idea. No, sealing it all off is fine because if it's sealed it's sterile. From the rant in the third picture: "With Mensez seals in the blood and fluids, they are sterile as long as they are inside the body and all the grossness is from the leakage into undergarments, the drying effects of air and the bacteria contamination that comes along with inserting tampon plugs and pads." The vagina: famously bacteria free.
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Sep 8, 2020 15:12
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Look ladies he knows what he's talking about he's a chiropractor. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mensez/ quote:Q: Can people actually order this [product], or is it still in the testing and funding stage? It doesn't exist and there is no formula, but he knows it will work. quote:Q: How does it affect the delicate ecosystem of flora and PH balance of a woman’s vagina? Of course this was all years ago. Does it exist yet? No. But there is a website. http://www.mensez.com/ quote:Do you realize that your eyes produce 5-10 fluid ounces of tears per day, it’s like a water fall on your face. and yet normally it does not run down your face it is controlled by the wonderful and marvelous design of your body. I wonder where he got that 1 ounce figure. Most menstrual cups hold about 1 ounce, and I fill that thing up more than once a week.
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Sep 8, 2020 15:26
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HOT BREAD! posted:i remember in high school one day my (female!) Anatomy class (!!!!!!!!!) teacher proclaimed that "you only lose a tablespoon of blood each month" and EVERY girl in the class erupted with indignation and the boys proceeded to make fun of us because "you guys are such wimps, that's not that bad" Yeah, I heard 2 tablespoons back in the day. I think I figured it out though. It is possible that no matter how much menstrual fluid you lose, only a tablespoon or two of that is regular circulating blood. Like when you shed the uterine lining that leaves some capillaries at loose ends and a tiny bit of regular blood leaks out of the circulatory system. The liquified uterine lining itself isn't exactly blood. Menstrual fluid also contains mucus, anticoagulant, and probably various goos I can't remember at the moment. Fluid produced does not equal blood lost. Why would the small amount of regular circulating blood lost be worth mentioning at all? Just a guess, but I bet it's that whole "thing that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die" meme. They want to reassure 14 year olds that you're not going to lose a dangerous amount of blood and randomly die of anemia one month. That would be hemorrhaging, not menstruating. I am totally pulling this out of my rear end, but it seems like a reasonable way the misleading 1-2 tablespoons factoid could have gotten started.
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Sep 9, 2020 08:48
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when I was 14 I used to be stricken immobile on the couch from cramps and going through 'overnight' pads during the day, she was otherwise a great teacher but wtf lady
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Dazerbeams posted:One weird twisting angle and your cooter would burst open like the floodgates of Hell. Imagine if you sneeze or laugh and a few drops of pee comes out. Normally not a problem. But with Mensez a few drops of pee releases a blood wave that engulfs the city.
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Sep 9, 2020 08:51
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French Canadian posted:I'm thinking some tech bro-ettes could do it better but still somehow manage to be huge assholes about it. Nanobots, my dude. Nanobots that pick up single blood cells, maybe single molecules, and move them to the intestine one at a time. The intestines then reabsorb most of the water as they do, so there is no extra liquid in the colon. Just black poos for a week. Then something goes wrong and the earth is converted to grey goo. Worth it.
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Sep 10, 2020 03:09
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Cowslips Warren posted:poo poo I realize I haven't had a pap smear in like 5 years or so. The clinic I went to, I think it's gone now. And the few Planned Parenthoods around always have 50 year old balding dudes protesting. Even if there's 50 of them I think you can push through a bunch of babies. I have faith in you.
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Sep 11, 2020 23:08
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Zoesdare posted:Anyone else who struggles with PCOS hair growth kind of relieved that masks cover their chin? Yea. I'm just from a hirsute bloodline, but it is nice to have one less thing to worry about.
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Oct 12, 2020 18:27
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Nettle Soup posted:Yeah, that's why I always take it with the cod liver oil capsule, doubles up as extra vitamin d and helps absorbtion. For remembering, I was gonna put a calender on the wall next to the kettle and mark the day out when I'd taken it, but I've got into the habit of taking it with breakfast now. It's well worth doing, everyone should take it. Setting an alarm on your phone is an easy reminder. If you have trouble remembering if you have taken your pills or not try adding a b vitamin. b vitamins turn your pee bright yellow so if your pee is bright yellow you'll know you've taken it. 😁
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Oct 22, 2020 04:46
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Zoesdare posted:I want to murder someone rn. The form for my replacement Nexplanon got LOST. I have been waiting on it for A MONTH. I JUST GOT THE EMAIL AND I AM SEEING RED. That sucks.
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Oct 27, 2020 07:30
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Last year I was walking along and suddenly had serious abdominal pain. I couldn't tell where it was coming from, other than "the guts". It got worse fast, pain so bad I felt like I was gonna vomit. Within minutes I had to stop because I could barely stand, and I was considering calling 911. Did my appendix just burst, what's going on? Then there was a hot, wet gush. The pain went away. Still no idea what is going on. Did I pee myself? Diarrhoea? Did something burst?  I know there's fluid, but no idea what kind of fluid. I look down and a red flesh marble drops out the leg of my pants. As far as I can figure a chunk of uterine lining, or maybe a clot, had somehow got wedged so it was acting like a cervix plug. The menstrual fluid built up behind it and pressurized it or something? When the pressure got high enough it pushed the flesh marble through the cervix, followed by a swoosh of fluid that was like a day's worth of menstruation all at once. Luckily I was wearing black pants so I was able to waddle home undetected.
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Oct 29, 2020 03:47
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Dazerbeams posted:Can this thread become a catch all for all female problems? Because it’s been a raw loving deal for me right about now. YES. There is also the lady crew thread in CCCC. Don't tell the boys.  https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3805113Very soothing colour scheme.
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Nov 10, 2020 02:56
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hopeandjoy posted:Boy I wish I could stop waking up to a blood spot on my bed at least once every single period.  Seriously. The padded absorbent area goes from your pubes in the front all the way up your butt crack in the back. Wider than any pad too. Tampon commercials kept saying pads feel like wearing a diaper, and finally I was like, well why not try it? Better than any overnight pad, haven't had a night time leak since. Obviously they are a little bulky and no good for stealth, but they are fine to wear overnight. Anybody in your bedroom who judges your feminine protection choices can jump off a bridge.
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Nov 12, 2020 07:16
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Haulin Oates posted:Who else stopped shaving their legs and is just luxuriating in their pelt? For sure. Like, five years ago. 
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Nov 20, 2020 03:13
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Cowslips Warren posted:I wanted the cup to work for me, but it did not hold at work. Lots of bending, stretching, lifting and stacking heavy poo poo, and the drat thing leaked all over. I just went back to pads, although the diaper thing might be a better option come summer when everything is sticky and hot. Protip: If you want to wear them in public but don't want to risk saggy trump butt, it helps to wear a snug pair of full coverage panties over them.
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Nov 22, 2020 22:41
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YeahTubaMike posted:(TMI alert) While we tend to think of the vag as wide open, your cervix can clamp down as snug as your butthole. Leak proof seal. But unlike your anus you have no voluntary control over it. Cervix don't care, it does what it wants.
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Dec 3, 2020 01:06
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coronatae posted:The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > menstruation megathread: I want to get off Mrs. Womb's Wild Ride 
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Jan 17, 2021 02:30
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coronatae posted:When that day comes I'll just start in on them horse piss pills Horse torture pills seem bad.
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Jan 18, 2021 18:30
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I did read a cursed quote from a lady who claims she can masturbate to orgasm a a dozen times in the shower to loosen up the lining, then bear down to splort the whole thing out in one go and then mush the resulting jelly fish down the drain. 1 weird trick for 1 day periods. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? I hope I didn't just imagine it.
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Jun 10, 2021 08:07
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Maigius posted:What is the best method of donating pads I don't want? I discovered a 28 pack without wings lurking in the closet. If a nearby supermarket has a foodbank donation bin that could be easy. Foodbanks give out hygiene supplies too, not just food.
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Jul 29, 2021 18:12
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