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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008






I'm watching the first episode right now. More to come

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


I've already seen this intro... thing.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Okay we literally just had an intro explaining the show, now we have an intro for the title of the show. They forgot to put anything in this but intros!

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Seven minutes in. There is a new science ensign who is getting shown around by two of the "command ensigns". What in god's gently caress is a command ensign? Wouldn't that just be second in command? Are they the second second in command? Probably not because they don't seem to ever visit any of the "upper decks" or at least they think most of those places are totally lame.


As a side note, am I laughing? Not yet. More on that as humor develops.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Ensign colorful hair just got asked to report to the bridge. So he gets to go on the bridge.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So there is this dude, he has been "recently made into a cyborg" basically, and he has a head panel looking thing. Basically he's a borg.

Now it's being explained as a "vulcan implant" suppressing his emotions. What? Was the implant designed by vulcans? To me this is just unnecessary. You can just say he ripped out part of his brain to become a cyborg and now he has hosed up emotions because he is part machine now and obviously didn't do a great job installing the part (it keeps sparking and making shocky noises) in my opinion making this a Vulcan implant is just over complicating this whole plot point.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Eleven minutes in, there's a space plague. Overall I'm pretty happy with this as just an episode of star trek doing star trek stuff.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Meanwhile, with our two "command ensigns", the one with the colorful hair (it's purple btw) has been tasked with keeping an eye on the other command ensign who likes to drink a lot and seems to have a character that entirely revolves around trafficking contraband. The captain (I'm assuming) has asked ensign colorful hair to make a full report if contraband ensign does any contraband or any other regulations breaking but instead of doing that colorful hair ensign is just running up to hert and yelling like this is a middle-season episode of Lost and they need to farm character drama. Can't wait to see how this turns out to be a wacky mixup or whatever the gently caress.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Okay the "contraband" was farm equipment. I dunno. I guess nobody mentioned to purple hair ensign that they were gonna give these aliens farm equipment or whatever the gently caress. I don't care none of it matters what matters is now the aliens who need cyber-shovels have let loose a giant spider thing to chase our main characters because purple hair is a loving psycho who was shooting a phaser at them without any real reason to do so.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


"we can't just beam out of here, those guys (the aliens) need that animal (the giant pissed off spider monster)"




Some thoughts.


1) If they needed that animal, the aliens most likely would have shut the door keeping it locked up behind them when they ran away from the guy with the phaser.


2) Why, if they need that animal so bad, does it appear to just live in their house. Did they run away into a space barn? Either way they seemed to have no concerns running directly past it which makes me think it's probably a domestic giant spider monster and they'll be able to lure it back into captivity by shaking a bag of treats not unlike human beings.

3) No seriously who here would willingly run into a lion's cage to avoid someone shooting at your feet when you're standing in the woods and trees and such might be an option. I'm not saying there is no logic to the space equivalent to the lion cage hideaway but this is something to give thought to imo.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Now both command ensigns took their clothes off to create hastily constructed dummies of themselves for the spider creature to attack instead of just beaming up and away from the danger.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


The spider monster is an herbivore and though I've not yet completed this sequence I am now more certain than ever the alien people do not need these two ensigns to rescue the giant spider monster.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


The B plot involving the plague outbreak is undoubtedly the strongest stuff in this episode.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Unfortunately for star trek lady on the date with cyborg guy, cyborg guy is apparently completely asexual. This is sufficiently horny for star trek as far as I'm concerned.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Wait ensign purple hair and lady ensign have been serving together for A YEAR?????? And lady ensign never mentioned the prison brawl with a yeti over her shoes until TODAY? That's like a week two bragging story! Maybe you whip it out at the one month mark if you need to explain why you don't wanna go bowling with coworkers!

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Ensign purple hair is covered in giant alien spider-cow slime and it's the cure to the zombie plague or whatever. Good enough plot synthesis for a star trek episode.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Now they're kinda working toward some friction between ensign purple hair and the captain lady. Captain lady can't remember his name despite working with him for a year. I dunno the show has to be about something so I guess this is fine.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So the command ensign lady who the captain has such disdain for.... IS THE CAPTAIN'S DAUGHTER! WITH AN ADMIRAL FOR A DAD! That's just....... Well, honestly I don't care even slightly. Command ensign lady was more interesting imo when her disdain for authority seemed like it was mostly just stemming from her having a very proactive and sometimes overconfident personality but instead it looks like she just hates mom and dad or something.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


THE FINAL TALLY

Was this episode of The Lower Decks bad? Nah it was fine.

Did it feel like an episode of Star Trek? Yeah a little bit. I enjoyed the parts that felt like an episode of star trek, mostly the stuff with the plague.

Could I see this show becoming better? Actually yeah. There is room to grow here and nothing in this episode put me off the idea of watching more of this.

Tentatively I'm giving this episode SIX AND A HALF STAR TREKS OUT OF TEN. Would I recommend anybody watch this series based on this episode alone? Not even close. But if the season can manage to be mostly this good or better I feel like I'd be comfortable recommending this to people.

Now onto the comedy portion of the episode review.

Number of times Reign laughed at this episode? ZERO

Qualitatively, the 22 minute episode did a much better job at trying to make jokes than the two minute trailer did, but that was mostly from a stylistic perspective. The jokes were well formed. They had the timing, they had the things that on a technical level constitute a well crafted joke. They just weren't funny to me even a little bit. As I watch more of this series I'll let everyone know if this changes at all in my estimation.

Musluk
May 23, 2011




Lipstick Apathy

B-plot was good. In fact, B plot had me actually interested instead of monkey cheese A plot.

I also did laugh at WORF WORF WORF I LOVE HONOR I DEMAND HONOR bit.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010


They'll never see it coming...


reignofevil posted:

So the command ensign lady who the captain has such disdain for.... IS THE CAPTAIN'S DAUGHTER! WITH AN ADMIRAL FOR A DAD! That's just....... Well, honestly I don't care even slightly. Command ensign lady was more interesting imo when her disdain for authority seemed like it was mostly just stemming from her having a very proactive and sometimes overconfident personality but instead it looks like she just hates mom and dad or something.

So... she's basically "Female Tom Paris except the captain is her actual parent instead of a substitute parental figure"?

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Yeah pretty much. She might end up being less boring though.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Take some screencaps so I can complain about ignorant modern cartoon staging

Roth
Jul 9, 2016




I'm glad you're willing to forfeit your life to create content for the sub.

Musluk
May 23, 2011




Lipstick Apathy

It felt more trek than discovery ep1 tbh.

Not a big bar, I know, but still.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 16 minutes!


More like lower dreck

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird





Arrhythmia posted:

More like lower dreck

Did you strain yourself reaching for that one?

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!


reignofevil posted:

So there is this dude, he has been "recently made into a cyborg" basically, and he has a head panel looking thing. Basically he's a borg.

Now it's being explained as a "vulcan implant" suppressing his emotions. What? Was the implant designed by vulcans? To me this is just unnecessary. You can just say he ripped out part of his brain to become a cyborg and now he has hosed up emotions because he is part machine now and obviously didn't do a great job installing the part (it keeps sparking and making shocky noises) in my opinion making this a Vulcan implant is just over complicating this whole plot point.

maybe the 'vulcan implant' was just slang? like ya he had a chunk of brain replaced and people are referring to it as a 'vulcan implant' because it hosed with his emotions?

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


It looks like star trek family guy more than the star trek made by the family guy guy

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007



im currently watching the man trap, how does it compare to that op?

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Ghost Leviathan posted:

It looks like star trek family guy more than the star trek made by the family guy guy

how can that be, there weren't any flashbacks!

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


why do the junior people sleep in bunks in corridors


like did someone think that was funny or is there some weird animation cost-saving thing in play

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


also speaking of animation there were some points where the quality really dropped hard


like parts of that spacewalk were fuckin' early-2000s internet flash quality

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes!
Nov 6, 2002

TB Times


Is this canon?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

One Potato to rule them all,
One Potato to find them,
One Potato to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.





Bread Liar

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

why do the junior people sleep in bunks in corridors


like did someone think that was funny or is there some weird animation cost-saving thing in play

It's kind of a thing on military vessels. But only the small ones.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~



what is canon

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Megillah Gorilla posted:

It's kind of a thing on military vessels. But only the small ones.



sure, but that's where space is at an absolute premium


like, not even the "super-compact badass warship" Defiant had conditions that crummy. even Battlestar Galactica had the bunks in rooms, not just "oh hey the corridor just turned into berthing"

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 16 minutes!



A list of fake space battles that didn't happen that happened

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


interesting. interesting. i'd like to have all of the Star Wars Armada games where i won against my friends be considered canon, and all the ones where i lost be considered apocryphal. who do i talk to to make that happen?

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird





I consider anything that has the name STAR TREK slapped on it to be canon. The books, the games, the comics, the toys, the board games, that VHS game where Gowron takes over the Enterprise and tells you EXPERIENCE BIJ!, the fan movies, even that one with Jean-Luc HyperRiker.

Except that one where Vic Mignogna plays Captain Kirk because holy gently caress

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