Let's Read: The Blending by Sharon Green

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Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Liquid Communism posted:

Perfect opportunity there to have her start out weak, and as such never really using the power because it just reminds her of that fact, only to rediscover the benefits of just seizing the power and never letting go...

Exactly!!! It's so frustrating to having all of this potential for a more interesting story in the text that never gets explored by Green.

PS: oops I just saw that I messed up a spoiler tag in my post (which I've fixed now), if you see this, could you fix it in your quote too? Thanks!

# ? Feb 27, 2022 11:45

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:06

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

Fixed!

# ? Mar 1, 2022 03:38

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

Oh noooooooooo

Leng posted:

I refuse to believe that Embission, an experienced politician, is going to ask a question like this.

I can�t believe how completely open and blunt he is in these exchanges. Like, there are HOW MANY POVs in this book, he can�t be subtle and then explain it in the very next scene with just Zolind? Nope, just going to exposition dump directly at Delin & co.

Leng posted:

So why didn't you just do THIS in the first place? Why even bother with the song and dance and the Adriari show?

Omg. Green even thought of this possibility in the very next chapter to the one where I thought this was being telegraphed as the case. How.

Leng posted:

Yes really. The only major non-cishet relationship in the book is this one.

What.

Fake edit - okay wait, so Zolind kind of almost makes sense to me. He believes the commoners weren�t keyed, he doesn�t actually want Kambil�s group on the throne, so he�s telling them they have a chance but they have to earn it. He doesn�t really care if they live or not so he isn�t going to key any commoners. Sure. I don�t know why Kambil & co. should know these details if Zolind would actually prefer they die, but sure.

But 4/5 commoner groups won, and Dolf was only supposed to key two of the five, so that doesn�t add up. :psyduck:

And I really don�t get why Delin is confused, like did he think the message of his was supposed to go directly to Rion and that it wouldn�t be shared because Rion is also a noble or something�? (Also he should definitely be planning to murder Zolind, the guy just said he won�t key the commoners he�s obviously rooting for you to fail c�mon.)

# ? Mar 2, 2022 05:03

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

kaom posted:

But 4/5 commoner groups won, and Dolf was only supposed to key two of the five, so that doesn�t add up. And I really don�t get why Delin is confused, like did he think the message of his was supposed to go directly to Rion and that it wouldn�t be shared because Rion is also a noble or something�? (Also he should definitely be planning to murder Zolind, the guy just said he won�t key the commoners he�s obviously rooting for you to fail c�mon.)

Pretty much, yeah. Rion is assumed to be One Of The Right People, so of course he'd jump at the chance to get rid of the commoner baggage holding him back.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 06:29

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

If Vallant thought it had been a madhouse before in the gathering area, now it was complete chaos as well as insanity.

...I don't know about you guys, but "madhouse", "complete chaos" and "insanity" all pretty much describe the same thing at the same level of abstraction to me.

quote:

People danced around screaming out their laughter, and were still being drowned out by the sounds from the crowd outside. It wasn�t possible to hear even shouted conversation, at least until the outer doors were closed. Then it became clear that the servants and various observers weren�t the only ones touched by jubilation.

What even is that last sentence?!

quote:

�Man, we done it!� Holter suddenly came close to shout as he danced. �We done it, an� it�s you we got to thank for makin� it happen! On�y one a them noble groups left, an� four a us! This time one a us�ll do it, damned if we don�t!�

I...cannot picture Pagin doing this. Something this uncharacteristic merits a better description than what Green has written.

quote:

Vallant felt like laughing at the sight of Holter dancing in his robe, but that wasn�t something you did to a friend.

I completely missed the part where an actual friendship developed between these two characters. Did anyone see anything?

quote:

Besides, he was feeling too good himself to want to put anyone down, even if the large gathering area was beginning to seem smaller and smaller. He was not going to let his problem control him, not after they�d been so successful.

Hello, situationally convenient claustrophobia!

quote:

�Well, here comes Eltrina Razas,� Jovvi said, taking Vallant�s attention as well as that of everyone else in their group. �She�s wavering between a feeling of success and a feeling of failure, finding it hard to decide which to go with. I wonder why that is.�

�Maybe her happy feelings are based on the fact that her new superior seems to have disappeared,� Tamrissa commented. �I looked for him when we first came back in, wanting to see his expression when we didn�t immediately report for that �punishment,� but I couldn�t locate him.�

�That�s because he isn�t anywhere within my range,� Jovvi said, obviously searching with more than just eyes. �His absence doesn�t look good for his future health, and for the sake of our own we�d better remember that he never came to speak to us. If they even bother to ask.�

This strategy does NOT WORK if the person asking has access to either Spirit or Earth magic. And this suggestion is coming from a Spirit magic user. :bang:

Though maybe they're just relying on Green's convenient little statement that High talents can't be affected by anyone with a lesser talent in that info-dump ladened chapter with Idian.

quote:

The last of Jovvi�s words were little more than a murmur, as Eltrina Razas had finally reached them. The woman looked more than a little harried, but apparently wasn�t so distracted that she failed to give Vallant the sort of appraising look she usually did. Vallant hated that look, even though it had helped to make him understand why most women hated the same sort of thing from a man. The appraisal made him feel like less than a human being, more like a possession with no say over who did the possessing�

Objectifying people is bad generally, but I can't say that I'm sad about Vallant experiencing it first hand. I'm pretty sure this is the only moment of character growth we see from him, because from this moment on, he stops objectifying women generally, except for one time in the sequel trilogy which is actually a key plot point.

quote:

�Has any of you seen Lord Simin?� Eltrina said at once, cutting short her usual inspection time. �He was here just a little while ago, and now I can�t find him.�

�Who�s Lord Simin?� Tamrissa asked blandly, giving Eltrina a different sort of inspection. �Someone else who�s come to congratulate us on our victory?�

�No, of course not!� Eltrina snapped, then belatedly got the message. �I�m the one authorized to give you all the congratulations you deserve, and I certainly do.

What? Who needs to authorize congratulations?

quote:

Lord Simin is my � superior, and he was supposed to have introduced himself to you.�

�The only one of your sort that we met was named Ophin,� Tamrissa replied with a shrug, looking around to the rest of the group for confirmation. �He showed us to our apartment here, and then he disappeared until it was time for us to go out. What�s so important about this other man you�re looking for? Has he stood you up or done something equally as vile?�

�No, and it�s not really all that important,� Eltrina returned tightly, fury in her eyes over Tamrissa�s use of the phrase, �your sort.� The suggestion was very strong that Eltrina�s �sort� was totally useless and completely unimportant, and the woman clearly resented the implication.

This interaction and dynamic between these two characters nothing like the dynamic in their first interaction. I think it's supposed to demonstrate how a power-enhanced Tamrissa is a totally different person to who she used to be. But this is so poorly executed it just reads like there is no history between these two characters.

quote:

�It�s just that Lord Simin was supposed to tell those of you who won your encounters that you�ll be housed here, in the amphitheater, tonight,� Eltrina continued.

Again...this is magical Olympics meets gladiator meets general elections. Why wouldn't all of these logistical details be announced and known well in advance? Why would you need the noble in charge of all the testing authority business run around to tell people this? What an inefficient use of their time; they should be sending flunkies.

quote:

�It�s an honor reserved only for those who earn it, so��

�We�re not interested in being honored like that,� Jovvi interrupted before Eltrina might take their agreement as understood. �We�ll be returning to our residence tonight, where we can relax and celebrate properly.�

�Out of the question!� Eltrina snapped, back to her original, touchy self. �You�ll do as you�re told, or you�ll certainly come to regret your disobedience!�

...literally what are you gonna do, Eltrina?

quote:

�We�re not slaves who belong to you, lady,� Lorand said in a growl from where he stood behind Jovvi. �We�re free human beings who have emerged victorious from the first round of these competitions, and we�ll damned well be treated like it! Moderate your tone when you speak to us, or I�ll do it for you.�

�And I�ll take a great deal of pleasure in giving him assistance he has no need for whatsoever,� Rion added as Eltrina gasped out her insult. �You and your friends are fools to believe that nothing has changed, but you always have been fools. Be wise for once, and bow to the inevitable.�

�We�ll just see how inevitable your insolence is,� Eltrina snarled as she tossed her head. �I�ll get the rest of those fools sorted out, and then I�ll be back with guardsmen to see to you. If I were you, I�d spend my time until then practicing my begging and pleading.�

Pretty terrible plan. I hate this character assassination of Eltrina upon the altar of Green's soapbox. Nobody is this dumb when it comes to straight up raw demonstrations of magical power!

quote:

And with that she marched away, her nose in the air and her back very straight. Vallant joined the others in watching her go, and then he shook his head.

�She really is a fool,� he observed, stating the obvious. �How did she miss seein� what we did durin� the competition?�

�I got the impression that she was busy making herself indispensable to her new superior,� Jovvi responded very dryly.

Yep, Eltrina and Simin were shacking up in some broom closet.

quote:

�The time didn�t take long, but neither did the competition. Let�s follow along and see how she does with �those other fools.��

So did Jovvi just skim that memory from Eltrina?

quote:

Everyone considered that an excellent suggestion, so they drifted after Eltrina. The woman had gotten the attention of a good number of robed figures, and now stood in the midst of them.

�You�re all to be sincerely congratulated,� she said with a smile that looked painful as she glanced around at her audience. �Now you�re to be honored for your efforts, and will therefore be shown to apartments here in the amphitheater for the night. There�s a giant celebration planned, at which you�ll all be guests of honor��

�I don�t think so,� a male voice called out while everyone else began to mutter. �The only ones among us who took your suggestion about celebrating the last time are no longer living, which means the rest of us will be smart to ignore it again. We�ll just go back to where we belong for the night, and you and your friends can celebrate without us.�

�You can�t refuse!� Eltrina screeched as various forms of agreement came from the others standing around her. �It�s already planned, and it�s part of the tradition�!�

�Traditions come and go,� another voice, this time female, called out. �We�d rather not do the same without a struggle, so we�ll be going back to our residence also. If you and your people don�t like it, you can have your last remaining noble Blending face itself tomorrow. Or isn�t that allowed under the rules?�

Eltrina�s face had reddened in a blotchy way, and she didn�t respond immediately. One member of one of the other Blendings had discovered that no group could win the competitions by default, and had passed on the information to everyone else. If their four groups refused to step out tomorrow, the current members of the government would immediately be out of jobs, and their replacements would be responsible for straightening out whatever the trouble was before the competitions continued.

I...what? How does this even work? And even assuming it does, how would you even enforce this? Who would be doing the enforcing? How would you choose all the replacements? Who would be choosing the replacements?

Green has no freaking idea what she's doing with the world building here.

quote:

�I�ll�have to let you all know if returning to your residences is permitted,� Eltrina said at last, hatred and loathing in her voice. �You�ll all just have to wait here until I can reach��

�Aren�t you able to understand simple speech?� Rion called out, extreme satisfaction in his tone. �We aren�t asking anyone�s permission, we�re telling you how we want it. Right now we�re going to change back into our ordinary clothing, and then we�ll be leaving. If you have anything else to say to us, send a messenger with a note.�

These are the worst dialogue tags in the world. It's like Green couldn't be bothered with coming up with good dialogue lines where you can tell what emotion the character is having without having to...write it in a dialogue tag.

quote:

Supporting laughter came from all sides as everyone began to turn away. Vallant�s last view of Eltrina was her frantic screeching in an effort to force everyone to obey her, something she still seemed incapable of understanding that she wasn�t about to get. Then he was too far away to see or hear her any longer, a condition he intended to make permanent as soon as possible.

Oh Vallant. You have no idea.

quote:

�The poor woman is apparently beside herself,� Jovvi murmured as they walked toward the rooms where they�d left their clothing. �She was delighted that she seemed to be back in charge, but now that things have gone wrong again she has no one else to pass the blame to. Her people really do want us handily close tonight, and I�d rather not speculate about why. I�m just relieved that the others supported us.�

�They knew they had no choice,� Vallant told her, passing on what Holter had said. �It�s perfectly clear that they�d want us handy only for a single reason: to make sure we don�t win again. If we�re goin� to lose, we all want it to be out there in the middle of tryin� to win. Gettin� it in the back from people we aren�t supposed to be facin� isn�t the same.�

Just in case you didn't get the memo that was taped to the hammer in our faces.

quote:

�But going back to our residence won�t guarantee our safety,� Tamrissa reminded them. �It only makes our enemy come a longer distance to reach us, so we�ll have to stay alert. We can take turns standing guard, or at least most of us can. My own perceptions of body heat won�t work at too great a distance, so all I can do is watch everyone else be useful.�

�Stop that,� Vallant told her softly, drawing her close by an arm about her shoulders. �The way I remember it, the only reason our Blendin� entity�and our bodies�survived that competition was because you protected us from that first, unannounced attack. You, all by yourself, callin� on no one�s strength and ability but your own.

Remind me again why this series is called "the Blending" when every important magical thing is just Tamrissa on her own?

quote:

That�s earned you the right to rest tonight, but I still have a question. Did that protectin� harm you in any way at all?�

�It�s odd that you should ask,� Tamrissa replied with an expression of disturbance as she deliberately leaned into his embrace. �That Blending wasn�t very strong at all, but their attack was a great deal stronger than anything sent at me during the testing. I�shouldn�t have been able to hold it off alone, but I had very little trouble doing it. Is it possible that being almost constantly in full touch with the power has somehow made me stronger?�

�I hope it�s so, but none of us really knows,� Jovvi said as Vallant�and everyone else�groped for an answer.

Not-spoilers, because this is so bloody obvious: the answer is yes.

I do not understand how this is such a big secret when everybody in this world is born with magical talent. I get that there's been societal conditioning and everything but COME ON. This is on par with "who could ever have thought that you could blend FIVE talents instead of just FOUR?!?!?!?!?!".

quote:

�We simply don�t know enough about how our abilities work, and there�s no one we can consult with about it. For now all we can do is move ahead, and hope there aren�t any pitfalls in our path that we just aren�t seeing.�

Maybe just try holding onto the power???? Spoilers for the next book I can't be bothered to look up the exact chapter right now, but that is how long it takes them to think of maybe just...trying this

quote:

�There are enough pitfalls that we can see,� Tamrissa agreed with a sigh. �I really do have to stop borrowing trouble, not to mention asking questions that have no answers. I think I�ll take a bath instead, as soon as we get home, that is. Anyone interested in joining me?�

Vallant chuckled along with everyone else as Tamrissa looked at everyone but him.

If Green was truly committed to writing a real polycule, this is the segue for it.

quote:

He liked it when she teased him, but somehow he sensed that her worry hadn�t disappeared entirely. Well, he didn�t blame her. His hadn�t disappeared either�

I have NO IDEA what Vallant is worried about. Or Tamrissa. Like literally is nothing wrong with her other than gaining massive amounts of magical strength. Why the hell aren't you all trying to replicate this WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAGICAL TOURNAMENT WHERE THE STRONGEST TEAM GETS TO RULE THE EMPIRE?!

:ughh:

quote:

* * *

�That stupid old man!� Delin raged as soon as they were back in their residence. �Telling us what we must and mustn�t do to earn his support! Possibly he was too wrapped up in a senile snooze to notice, but we�re his only hope. Without us he�ll have a group of peasants to deal with, and he almost acted as though he would prefer that! And I�m the leader of this group! How dare he open negotiations with anyone else?�

Delin's just gone full deranged now.

quote:

�He doesn�t know that you�re our leader, Delin,� Kambil replied reasonably, easing Delin�s anger a trifle. �I�m sure if he did he would have spoken to you, but it�s still a bit soon to tell him such things. He has no real need to know it yet and it�s safer for you this way, but if it makes you feel better we can always tell him this afternoon��

�No,� Delin decided reluctantly when Kambil�s voice trailed off in a half question. �No, it�s definitely a better idea to wait. He�ll know soon enough, and I want to see his expression when he finds out. After we�re Seated, of course.�

�I don�t understand why he�s being so hard-line about this,� Bron said from where he stood, pouring himself a cup of tea. The man was completely overlooking Delin�s statement about being their leader, making no effort to challenge it. Delin had no idea why that was, but he was too relieved to question the gift. An argument with Bron was the last thing he needed right now.

Delin you should be very very suspicious right now.

quote:

�I mean, why is he insisting that we have to earn his support?� Bron asked. �It isn�t as if he has anyone else to support, so why is he forcing us to compete every day? If he loses us, he�ll be left with nothing.�

�I think I understand the plan he has in mind,� Kambil said, relaxing in the chair he�d dropped into. �We�re the last noble Blending left, so we have a certain measure of survivor-sympathy working for us with the commoners. If we compete tomorrow and the next day and win, much of that sympathy will turn to active support. We�ll have come from behind to become full contenders for the Throne, and that Zolind Maylock will be able to work with.�

�When you say �work with,� do you mean manipulate on our behalf?� Homin asked, waiting behind Bron at the tea service. �If so, I hope he decides to work with us. We had no trouble at all with our opponents of today, but I think tomorrow will be a different story.�

�For that we have those fool peasants to thank,� Delin grumbled, having taken a stronger drink than tea to a chair of his own. �How could they have told all the others about the drug and the keying phrase? And don�t say there�s no evidence that they told all the others. Dolf chose a second group at random, and to believe that that second group just happened to be the only ones the peasants told would be asinine stupidity.�

�It so happens I agree with you about who the commoners told,� Kambil said, again soothing Delin�s annoyance.

Green uses "soothe" in Spirit magic user POVs to refer to active use of their talent on people. Her prose is so unclear that I can't tell if this means Delin can feel Kambil using his talent or whether Delin just thinks Kambil is soothing him with mere words.

quote:

�The only thing I can think of is that the commoners realized the truth of the old saying about there being safety in numbers. If they�d been the ones to survive alone against four noble Blendings, their position would have been quite impossible. This way they have a good deal of company��

�And it�s our position that�s impossible,� Delin interrupted, his temper flaring again. �We expected to meet those particular peasants in the final confrontation, and now there�s only one chance in three that it will be them. If it�s a different group and they happen to be stronger than us, we could end up losing after all.�

What? How are these brackets set up? It got explained in an earlier chapter as an orchestrated affair but I thought it was a pretty simple knock out tournament. In which case, it doesn't really matter who your competition is, you still need to win the same number of rounds? And since Green's magic system doesn't have any finesse involved, it's not like skill comes into play, in which case it doesn't matter who you face, the strongest team will come out on top anyway.

quote:

�That�s why we have to make sure that it isn�t a different group,� Kambil returned, still sounding calm and assured. �It�s the one point we�ll have to insist on when Advisor Zolind Maylock comes to speak with us later this afternoon. Arranging it should be no trouble at all for him, and all we have to say is that we researched that group along with our original one. Pointing out that they have the most weak spots of all the commoners will be nothing but the truth, so hopefully the Advisor won�t become suspicious.�

You guys got the test results for all the common Blendings. And your extra "research" consisted of one botched conversation by Kambil.

quote:

�And if he does become difficult, we�ll simply have to offer to give up our place,� Selendi said so calmly that Delin was startled. �We�ll be risking our lives out there, and if he refuses to give us that one bit of help, he can go out and face those peasants himself. It won�t matter to us if we die at the hands of the peasants, or are executed by our own people. Dead is dead no matter how it happens.�

Delin you should be very very very suspicious.

quote:

�That�s a very good point,� Kambil agreed, smiling at her where she stood beside Homin. �It sounds like something Delin would want us to keep in mind, but there�s another point to go with it. The Advisor is extremely upset, and it won�t take much to make him turn his back on us and look for another solution to his problem. For that reason he�ll have to be handled very carefully, so I think Delin should do it.�

Look! Kindergarten level reverse psychology!

quote:

�No,� Delin said at once, then forced a smile when the others all looked at him. �What I mean to say is, a good leader knows his limitations. If the Advisor is in that delicate a frame of mind, the one to deal with him should be someone able to reach his reactions. That means you, Kambil, so I�m giving the assignment to you to take care of.�

�All right, Delin, if that�s the way you want it,� Kambil agreed with a shrug and a sigh. �I happen to think that you would do just as good a job, but since you want me to see to it, I�ll be glad to.�

Delin smiled and nodded, then took another swallow of the whisky he�d poured. His insides still twitched at the thought of his saying something wrong to Maylock, and thereby ruining their chance of success forever. He�d be much happier having Kambil do it, but the man had better not make any mistakes. If he did�

Delin finished the last of his drink in one swallow, then got up to get another. He wasn�t used to drinking this much, but today was a day to celebrate. He�d drink his drinks now, sit quietly while the Advisor was here, and then probably go to bed. But he still didn�t much care for Kambil, so he�d have to see to the man as soon as they won. Happily, he was all prepared to do exactly what was necessary�

I miss when Delin was a character with hints of complexity.

Summary:

Day 19
Our commoner protagonists and noble antagonists alike get stuck in a traffic jam en route to the amphitheatre that will be a Significant Location on par with the Palace and is not described anywhere as effectively as the palace was (which, if you've forgotten, was "big" and had a "verandah"). The Advisors switch around the matches as a last minute "favor" to Delin and co, for the dumb reason of not wanting Delin to die because they want to make an example of him for the various murders.

Our protagonists spend the whole chapter waiting around and changing into their competitions robes and underwear and not eating the contaminated food. Lord Simin shows up and commands them to throw the match. Once the noble leaves, our protagonists spend the rest of their waiting time being general, arrogant know-it-alls who are gleefully crowing about their victory and making plans on how they are going to reform the Empire, because they are the smartest and bestest people ever and Lord Simin is a clueless idiot who has no idea that they have broken free from their Puredan conditioning. Our Heroes walk out into the arena and annihilate their opponents, and so do three other common Blendings; only one noble Blending (guess who?) wins their match.

Kambil and co receive unofficial official backing from the Advisors due to being the only noble Blending remaining. High Lord Advisor Zolind suspects them of being the ones who caused Adriari's Blending's deaths and gives High Lord Embisson an ultimatum: find proof of Kambil and co's crimes, or else. Regardless of Embission's results, Zolind has zero intention of Seating Kambil and co: he's already planning their disappearance and replacement.

Despite Eltrina's terrible attempts to assert authority by simply yelling at people to do as she says, none of the common Blendings are dumb enough to agree to be gigantic sitting targets by staying overnight in the ampitheatre. Meanwhile Kambil and his puppets spend an entire meeting humoring Delin's delusions of being in charge.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 30 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace), Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 23 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 115 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2)
COACH RIDES: 52 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 96 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 58 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
TEA DRINKING: 65 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 34 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
MIND CONTROL: 19 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 12, including 2 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)

Possible fixes:
I don't like this chapter but I don't hate it either? It feels like an absolute nothing chapter, to be honest. The victory has not been earned. The villains have not had any real comeuppance other than people not listening to them? Nothing interesting has been done with the magic. At this point, I'm more interested in the struggle for dominance between Kambil and Delin, simply because there's ACTUAL CONFLICT as opposed to the :barf:

worthy "oh Tamrissa you're so wonderful" "no you guys are wonderful" "no you" "oh stop" "let's just all agree we're ALL wonderful" stuff going on with the protagonists.

Just in case you were wondering how much is left of Book 3, there are still three more chapters to go: two of actual plot and one that's functionally an epilogue. All of them suck, but at least Green learned her lesson and ended the book in the right place this time.

# ? Mar 15, 2022 09:28

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

�At least there won�t be any more of those messengers,� I said morosely as I toyed with what was left of my breakfast. �I can�t tell you how tired I am of hearing that our names weren�t �picked by lot to compete today.� Since it�s the last day, we have to compete.�

I don't understand any number of things about this setup:
1. How does anybody buy that line?
2. Why you wouldn't be drawing lots in front of a live audience at the conclusion of the previous battle?
3. Even if you weren't competing, why would you stay cooped up at your residence instead of going out to watch the battles?
4. Even if you were forbidden to attend, why wouldn't you TRY to go and watch the battles?

quote:

�I�ve decided I don�t trust the �luck� that left us for last,� Jovvi said, sounding no better than I had. �Those people are up to something, and have been for the last two days at least.�

�What they�re definitely up to is eliminating our friends,� Lorand put in, sounding no happier.

You guys literally have no friends. You're not even friends with each other, not really. You've never even MET anyone from these other groups, except for Pagin and you guys did your best to exclude him from everything.

quote:

�The last two groups may still be alive, but Warla said they were badly hurt when they were carried off the sand. We shouldn�t have let them keep us from attending the competitions as spectators.�

�How were we supposed to argue with that particular rule?� Vallant asked impatiently. �It�s perfectly true that a Blendin� not competin� is a Blendin� free to interfere in what�s happenin�. We would have screamed if a noble group was around to attend as spectators, so how could we complain about their not lettin� us attend?�

This is the dumbest reason ever. Mainly because Green has failed to establish anything around the working range of a Blending and who can/can't detect interference from a Blending. Also also there would have been a perfectly fine way of stopping interference...like say a light dosage of hilsom powder.

quote:

�We could hardly point out that our words are better than theirs, but it might have been amusing to try,� Rion put in, but still sounding as far from amused as the rest of us. �What takes my attention the most is Warla�s report that the competitions we missed took longer than the ones on the first day. After our first experience we felt completely undrained, but today won�t be the same.�

�And our opponents will have been getting used to that in real life, while all we�ve been doing is practicing,� Jovvi said in agreement. �We�re doing considerably better than we did that first night, but I can�t help thinking that we�re still far from being really � practiced and experienced.�

If only we had seen any of this practicing! Or any of the other competitions so we have a benchmark for what this confrontation is gonna look like!

quote:

�But you aren�t really, you know,� Naran put in, her voice filled with its usual warmth and support. �You�re all doing wonderfully well, and I happen to know that you�ll win. Those people you�ll be facing simply won�t be able to match you.�

Spoilers for book 5: I hate this so much. I'm pretty sure Green thought this was clever; a way to disguise Naran's Sight magic as just pure warmth and support, etc etc etc but I hate this decision so much. It undermines Naran as a character because she's so flat and it undermines the tension in the main plot.

quote:

�It�s nice that one of us has a positive outlook,� Lorand said with a smile the rest of us couldn�t help echoing. Naran had turned out to be a really nice person, and Rion couldn�t possibly have found anyone who fit into our group better. It didn�t even bother her that she couldn�t Blend with us, which wouldn�t have been true of most other people.

FORESHADOWING.

quote:

�Well, I happen to like bein� positive, so I�m goin� to believe Naran,� Vallant announced to us as he looked around. �Here�s to victory, and all it will mean to us.�

He raised his teacup in the proposed toast, and after only a second of hesitation the rest of us did the same.

These character motivations are all over the place.

quote:

It was nice that Jovvi had made it possible for Naran, our resident ghost, to join us on a regular basis, as her raised cup made the wish unanimous. We all drank to it then, and the silliness even made me feel better.

�The coaches will be here for us soon, love,� Rion told Naran after the toast was done. �I wish it were possible for you to go with us, but even disguising you as a maid could be dangerous. I�ll be happier knowing that you�re here and safe, and no matter what happens I�ll be back with you before you know it.�

�Yes, love, I know you will be,� Naran answered as they held hands for a final time, her face showing warmth and love and absolute belief. �Don�t let thoughts of me distract you, because soon we�ll be together for the rest of our lives.�

�That�s the sweetest promise ever made me, and I mean to hold you to it,� Rion responded with a smile. �Give me a final kiss, please, and then wait for my return upstairs.�

�With pleasure,� she said with a laugh, and after the kiss she left without hesitation.

I don't know what this is doing here. We already know that Naran is absolutely certain of their victory and also how lovey dovey these two are.

quote:

We�d made it a practice not to have Naran walking around the house when we weren�t there, as the commands Jovvi had given the servants not to see her might not have held if she weren�t hidden in a crowd, so to speak.

Spoilers for Book 6: Jovvi will actually expand on this trick! And then they pretty much...never use it again.

quote:

�Getting there and then coming home again will probably take longer than the competition itself,� I commented after making myself finish what had actually been a rather light breakfast.

...you guys were literally just hyping up what a difficult, strenuous, drawn-out battle this is likely to be. I know this is supposed to be a commentary on the road traffic and the coach ride but I JUST DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW so I do not give Tamrissa the benefit of the doubt here.

quote:

�It would be nice if someone thought of a faster, more comfortable way to travel.�

�You might as well wish for wings or a personal cloud,� Lorand replied, obviously amused. �What better way to travel can there possibly be?�

None of us could think of an answer to that,

RANDOM CLUNKY FORESHADOWING.

quote:

and as if the entire topic created a magic of its own, a servant appeared to tell us that our coaches had arrived. We glanced at each other but didn�t hesitate, and a few short moments later we were on our way.

The trip didn�t take quite as long as it had that first day, but only because the guardsmen along the way seemed to have gotten practice in keeping the traffic moving. The crowds themselves seemed even thicker, and the closer we came to the amphitheater, the more campsites there were. Not everyone was able to afford the stay in an inn or hostel even if there�d been enough room to accommodate them all, but everyone apparently wanted to see the last of the competitions.

What? There's guardsmen everywhere but they're just happy to allow for entire tent cities to spring up and clog the roads?

quote:

Jovvi and I didn�t speak much during the trip, and I suspected that the men were just as silent. Even touching the power hadn�t done much in the way of settling my nerves, and I would have enjoyed screaming out loud and breaking things just to relieve the tension. Actually, what I most wanted to do was burn things, but that had to be saved for the competition.

quote:

When we reached the amphitheater we were escorted inside again, this time through triple or more the number of people. Their cheering and words of support would have meant more if we weren�t their last hope of taking the Throne away from the nobles, but it still felt good to have them there.

It was absolutely not clear from the poorly worded previous discussion of Warla's reports that they are facing the only remaining nobles. Though I don't think this bothers anyone because this is the thing everybody expects.

quote:

Once we passed through the door into that very large gathering area, the only one there for us was our former guide, the young lord Ophin Ruhl.

�Welcome, people, welcome to the final day of the competitions,� he said expansively when we stopped near him. �Today will see the choosing of our next Seated Blending, so let�s get you to your apartment where you�ll be able to rest for a short while.�

�Where�s Lady Eltrina?� Jovvi asked as we followed along behind the man. �I don�t see her anywhere, and I was certain she would enjoy showing up to tell us that we were going to lose.�

�Lady Eltrina is back in her husband�s household where she belongs,� Ophin replied in a very bland way. �An investigation of her efforts was conducted, and it was learned that much of what was supposed to be her responsibility had actually been delegated to others. That produced rather � unpleasant results, so Lady Eltrina no longer has her former position.�

Character assassination of Eltrina continues. This is NOT the same character as the one we originally met back in Book 1.

quote:

�All our groups refusin� to stay here must have been the final nail in her coffin,� Vallant commented with barely hidden satisfaction. �What a shame that it had to happen to such a lovely person.�

I felt the urge to cough rather loudly, and a glance around showed that the others felt the same. But we all managed to control ourselves, at least until we reached our assigned apartment. Once Ophin was gone with the door closed behind him we were able to laugh, but that didn�t last long.

We will discover what happened to Eltrina in Book 4. It's pretty awful.

quote:

�What�s this?� Lorand said, looking down at the table he�d stopped near. �Five envelopes, one addressed to each of us. Do they contain the sincere good wishes of the government, I wonder?�

�What else could they be?� Jovvi asked with a wry smile. �Have you checked them for anything that could harm us if we touch it? I don�t really know what that could be, but I seem to be made of suspicion today.�

�As far as I can tell, there�s nothing on or in any of them but paper and ink,� Lorand reported after a moment. �I checked each one individually, and they�re all the same. That has to mean the trap, if there is one, lies in what each of them says.�

�So maybe we ought not to open them,� Jovvi suggested, looking from one to the other of us. �I can stand not knowing what mine says, and the rest of you can probably do the same.�

�There�s only one trouble with that,� I found myself being forced to say. �We have no way of knowing that these were left by an enemy. If they were left by a friend instead��

How, exactly, would a friend get them into these apartments in the amphitheatre where all access is being controlled by the testing authority?

quote:

�You�re thinking about that Lord Carmad,� Jovvi said with a slow nod that suggested the same thing had occurred to her. �He never did come back, and he doesn�t seem to have visited any of the other groups. I�d ask how he could have managed to leave letters for us here, but that�s like asking how he found out the proper way to start a Blending.�

Hanging a lampshade on this doesn't make it any better, namely because Green will never address this in this book, nor the next two in this first series. Not until Book 8, in fact and the reveal is super lame.

quote:

�So what do we do?� Vallant asked, looking down at the envelopes as though they were living beings. �If we leave them untouched, we could be leavin� valuable hints and help behind. If we open them, we could be helpin� our opponents instead of ourselves.�

�There�s only one possible solution,� Rion said, stirring where he stood. �We don�t all have to open them, only one of us does. That should minimize any possible harm, and as the idea was mine, I claim the privilege of being that one. With the rest of you there to sustain me, I should come to little harm in any event.�

Everything about how Green is setting this up makes me want to eyeroll so hard.

Oh hell, why not?

:rolleyes:

quote:

The rest of us exchanged glances over that, but it wasn�t possible to argue with the idea. It gave us the only practical solution, and Rion knew it. He therefore reached for the envelope with his name on it, opened it and removed the sheet of paper, then began to read. There seemed to be quite a lot of writing, but after a moment or two he closed his eyes and let the sheet fall to the floor.

�These letters are definitely not from a friend,� he said in a dead, toneless voice. �And I was quite mistaken about their ability to do harm.�

He put his hand over his eyes with that, seeing nothing of the way Jovvi bent to retrieve the letter.

I really hate how that last sentence is written. It's just so...limp.

quote:

Vallant, Lorand, and I were in the midst of trying to comfort Rion when Jovvi made a sound of deep scorn.

�Those people would be pathetic if they weren�t so disgusting,� she said with anger in her voice. �Can you imagine�this was left here to tell Rion why his mother raised him in such isolation and turned him into a pet. It seems that Rion isn�t fully human, because his father was a commoner who worked for his mother as a gardener. She took the �peasant� into her bed and enjoyed him, and as soon as she had what she wanted from him�a child she could control all alone�she sent him away. Everyone of any importance knows all this, and they�re so upset by such a disgusting act that they can�t under any circumstances consider Rion one of them. His mother knew he would never be considered acceptable, but that just made things better for her own plans.�

Isn't it convenient that Rion was the one who opened the letter? Let's see how these perfect protagonists comfort their Blendingmate, keeping in mind that Blending is the most magical and intimate relationship you could ever possibly have with another human being.

quote:

�And that�s bothering you?� I said to Rion once Jovvi had finished speaking. �I find that really hard to believe since that�s the best news you could have gotten.�

�I don�t think I�d care to hear what you would consider the worst news, dear lady,� Rion replied tonelessly without opening his eyes. �Considering that horror the best news means I could never withstand the worst.�

�Rion, please stop emoting and start thinking,� I said with all the exasperation I felt. �How many times have all of us�including you�pointed to something to show what miserable excuses for human beings those nobles are? Almost everything they do proves it, and I was beginning to feel sorry for you for having the same blood. But now we know you don�t have the same blood, you have your father�s blood, and that�s why you�re as wonderful�and capable!�as you are. Would you really rather be completely one of them?�

�That seems to be the major point,� he said, disturbance in the eyes he�d now opened. �Rather than being one thing for certain, I�m now neither fish nor fowl. And it�s all well and good to say I have my father�s blood�whomever he might be�but I still have my mother�s as well.�

�So what?� Lorand asked, sounding honestly puzzled. �There�s no difference between the person you are now and the person you were five minutes ago, except that you now know something new. I can�t see how that�s supposed to change you. You became one of us because of what�s inside you, not because of who your parents are.�

�I happen to love my parents,� Vallant put in, �but I�m not an extension of them, I�m an individual. Knowin� who we basically were is one of the things my folks helped my brothers and me to learn about ourselves, includin� the fact that we didn�t have to do and like what they did and liked. And they accepted us as we were without tryin� to change what couldn�t be changed, just the way those of us here accepted you.�

�And if nothing else, you no longer have to consider yourself an outsider among us,� Jovvi said, delight now filling her voice. �Your father�s sacrifice�that of not even knowing he had a son�can be considered full payment for full membership on your behalf. It�s the least he�d want you to have, and he�d be very proud of you.�

�Do you really think so?� Rion asked, and for the first time in a long while he looked like the innocent he�d started out as. �Mother always said my father had been killed in a tragic accident, and she always found it impossible to discuss any of the details without breaking down with grief. Now � Do you think I might actually get to meet him one day?�

�Why not?� Lorand countered with a grin of relief that must have been just like my own. �Anything�s possible, and there�s a definite benefit in meeting a parent for the first time when you�re already grown. If you don�t happen to like him or her, you can simply shrug and walk away. Small children don�t have that option.�

I had to add my own copper�s worth of agreement with that idea, and the discussion became one of the sort we usually had, rather than a case of most of us trying to convince one.

Uh. Seriously? You guys literally just told Rion he was wrong to feel the way he felt. Without any empathy whatsoever for the emotions he was trying to work through. And�without Jovvi so much as brushing him with her talent�he just goes, oh okay, I guess you're right, maybe I'll get to meet my dad someday.

quote:

It was marvelous to see Rion pulling out of the pit our enemies had dug for him, and the rest of us made sure to stay away from the other envelopes. As Jovvi had said, we could stand not knowing what they were there to tell us.

After a few minutes, Rion retrieved the letter he�d dropped and Jovvi had tossed to the floor again, and he refolded it neatly and replaced it in the envelope. Then he returned the envelope to where it had been, and the rest of us began to chuckle. There was no reason to let the nobles know that one fifth of their plan had almost worked, and every reason to keep it from them.

That's it. Two, short, paragraphs and it's like nothing ever happened.

quote:

We sat around talking for a short while after that, until two servants came to deliver our robes and sandals. The servants were enthusiastic but cautious as they wished us good luck in whispers but with big grins. Jovvi had already told us that we weren�t being eavesdropped on, but we didn�t mention that to the servants. They were happier to think they were getting away with something, and I couldn�t blame them for that.

We had just enough time to change our clothing before Ophin came to call us, and I felt drawn absolutely tight.

You are probably wondering why we've had these filler paragraphs. They are Important.

quote:

I couldn�t wait for everything to begin so that it would be on its way to being over, but Ophin hesitated before leading the way back out into the corridor.

�You�ah�don�t seem to have read the notes which were left for you,� he observed much too casually. �I understand that they�re from some rather important people, so you might want to glance at them before you go. We can spare the moment or two it will take.�

�Why rush through reading them now, when we can read them slowly and carefully later?� Jovvi asked with a pleasant smile, the five of us having already walked to the door. �We�re much more interested now in being out on the sand, so we�d appreciate your leading the way.�

Ophin hesitated a very long moment before realizing that he had no choice but to let the matter lie,

STOP WRITING LIKE THIS. Also if the testing authority REALLY wanted those letters read, they probably should have picked a better way to deliver the message. If the antagonists weren't so dumb, the protagonists wouldn't be able to cheerily stroll through every obstacle obliviously.

quote:

and when he finally gave in to the inevitable he wasn�t a happy man. His movements were brusque and furious as he led us toward the gathering area, but none of us paid him any attention. We were all of us ready, and if we didn�t win this final competition, it would certainly not be our fault.

SUPER CLUMSY FORESHADOWING.

Summary:

Day 22
Tamrissa and co finally get called to compete in the last day of the competitions. Naran is super sure they're definitely going to win. Upon their arrival at the amphitheatre, they are escorted to wait around again, in an apartment with a bunch of anonymous letters addressed to them personally. Rion volunteers as tribute and opens his letter to discover that his father is not a dead noble, but was in fact his mother's gardener who was fired as soon as she conceived Rion and so is probably still alive and out there, somewhere. Rion is shattered by the revelation, but does a complete 180 when the rest of Our Heroes point out how this is actually the Best News Ever because now he's really a REAL PERSON and not a useless noble.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 30 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace), Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 23 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 115 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2)
COACH RIDES: 53 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 96 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 58 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
TEA DRINKING: 66 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 35 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
MIND CONTROL: 20 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 12, including 2 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)

Possible fixes:
This whole convoluted, contrived chapter exists to info dump two things: 1) Rion's parentage (which spoilers for the sequel trilogy is still a lie, because Hallina Mardimill is not actually his birth mother either) and 2) the robes.

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate what a filler chapter it is. Instead of seeing the build up to the final confrontation with Kambil and Delin's Blending, we just get this vague hyping up about the confrontation via this third hand discussion of a second hand report from Warla who probably didn't get several days off in a row to go watch the competitions.

It could have been fixed so easily if Green had just shown us proper combat challenges instead of the stupid time trials that happened in the last book. Or if the ball at the palace had some more substance to it. Or if her protagonists had spent some time sneaking around, trying to discover the command phrase for themselves, instead of waiting for Delin to drop the information into their laps.

At every opportunity for interesting conflict with the antagonists, Green backs away from it in favor of interpersonal drama that doesn't even matter to the main plot between her protagonists. I normally quite enjoy when there's conflict between protagonists that is an obstacle to them resolving the greater conflict, but this doesn't ever get anywhere near that level.

WHY.

# ? Apr 3, 2022 01:33

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

Love how no one thought to have someone else read the note with their name on it, like just having Jovvi read Rion�s to begin with. But hey, at least it�s in character not to think of anything clever!

The contrivances continue to be just astounding. Yeah we think these people are conspiring against us, but they definitely told the truth about the names drawn by lots� :psyduck:

# ? Apr 3, 2022 05:56

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

The penultimate chapter; the magical showdown we've all been waiting for. Are you guys ready!??!?!

quote:

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

Delin stood with his groupmates, glancing around casually, but on the inside he was drawn so tight that he feared something might snap. The past two days had been incredibly nerve-wracking, causing him to come as close as he had to losing everything. The peasants his Blending had faced had proven much stronger than they had any right to be, and he and the others had nearly lost to them. Somehow they�d just managed to pull out their victories, but hadn�t even been able to destroy their opponents.

I have probably spent more time than anyone reading this thread contemplating Green's magic system and I'm still not really sure what this means. The only thing I can come up with is that Delin and co got so tired to the point where they're either reduced to the output level of a Low talent and/or they couldn't summon a final attack to kill off their opponents because they collapsed from exhaustion...and then what? I guess the victor is determined by the lesser wounded group? But what if one of the groups lost one of its members? Is that an automatic loss since you need five people?

Not that we even know what a Low talent can really do and whether they are capable of killing someone with talent alone. Like, what is the difference between a Low and a High Fire talent? Is it in the sheer quantity of fire they can summon? The level of control they have over the fire? The heat/intensity of the flames? We don't know!

quote:

The Advisory representative assigned to them had been pleased about that, but Delin wasn�t able to muster the same pleasure�

Because they really need some more mind slaves to go invade two other nations at the same time! Voluntarily fighting a war on two fronts. Seriously.

quote:

Now they stood by the as-yet-unopened doors to the arena floor, waiting for the last group of peasants to join them. The Advisory man had insisted that they come to the peasants� side rather than having the peasants come to them, and there had been no arguing with him. It was all part of Advisor Zolind�s plan, they�d been told, which meant the orders weren�t to be argued with. Delin felt the urge to do more than argue,

So do it! What is Zolind really gonna be able to do to you guys anyway?

quote:

considering who these last peasants were. But at least they�d been subjected to the disabling bits of information and half threats Delin had himself intended to use�

Thought of that brought a faint smile to Delin as he considered how his idea had been improved upon. Zolind�s people had worked swiftly to learn everything there was to know about the peasants, and the resulting letters had been most interesting. That useless fool Mardimil had been told how common he really was, the Earth magic user had been told that the friend he�d come to Gan Garee with was dead, Fire magic had been told that she would be returned to her father�s authority and possession, Spirit magic had been told that the woman sent to the deep mines because of her was slowly dying, and Water magic had been told that his family would be ruined because of him.

In case you guys were wondering what was in the other letters. Interesting is a real stretch. These letters are not creative or subtle in the least.

quote:

Not quite the way Delin would have handled it, but certainly effective nonetheless. The lowborn fools would be fortunate if they even managed to Blend, not to speak of doing anything effective. They would�

�I�ve just been given less than happy news,� Kambil murmured after he turned away from a runner who had drawn him aside. �The commoners are on their way over here, making slow going of it because of everyone who wants to wish them luck. Ophin was therefore able to send word ahead that they haven�t read the letters. The envelopes were all lying untouched just where they�d been left.�

�How could they have done that?� Selendi asked with a frown as Delin�s mind clanged with shock.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NLnGJnGBcc

quote:

�Don�t they have anything of natural human curiosity?�

�They�re obviously more suspicious than curious,� Homin said with a shake of his head. �I, personally, wouldn�t have touched something like that, which was why I disliked that method of passing on the information. A pity Zolind dismissed my opinion out of hand.�

Remember that Zolind Maylock is supposed to be the single most powerful man in the Empire.

quote:

�Well, done is done,� Bron said with a sigh. �They haven�t read the letters, so we can�t expect them to be badly out of balance. We�ll simply have to win over them without that.�

�How can all of you take this so calmly?� Delin demanded in a hiss, then let his voice turn into a growl. �It�s all Zolind�s fault for insisting on doing things his way, so I say let Zolind go out there and face them! I, for one, have no intention of being defeated by lowborn garbage!�

�If we don�t compete, Zolind will take great pleasure in having us executed,� Kambil said calmly and gently.

How, exactly, is Zolind going to do that? YOU'RE A FREAKING BLENDING.

quote:

�He�ll find some way to keep the commoners from being Seated, but we won�t be around to find out what he does. Is that what you want?�

�No, of course not,� Delin was forced to say, a great coldness spreading inside him. �I want us to accomplish our dream, but how are we supposed to do that now?�

USE MAGIC. :doh:

quote:

�We�ll do it in the way we were meant to, by facing them and bringing them to defeat,� Kambil said, briefly putting a hand to Delin�s shoulder. �Since that�s our only option, it�s the one we�ll take. Are you with us?�

Look at this great, rousing, pre-battle speech from Kambil. A guy whose magical talent is to literally manipulate emotions.

quote:

Delin could do nothing other than nod, although he would have most preferred to scream out what fools they all were. They refused to see that they were about to lose everything, refused to try to find a way out of that mess�

Character assassination of Delin continues.

quote:

A stir in the crowds heralded the arrival of the peasants who, just like their betters, already wore their robe hoods up. It was difficult to pick out individuals like that, with faces shrouded in shadow. Delin had thought he might rattle Mardimil at least by speaking what the man hadn�t read, but he couldn�t pick out the fool from the other two men. Not to mention that the two groups were being kept separated from one another�

So...yell? Like...what's anyone gonna do?

Also I am sad that Green insists on using this convoluted set-up to eliminate pre-fight verbal sparring. I love verbal sparring when well done, it's lots of fun to read.

quote:

And then the outer doors were being slid open, letting in the bright sunlight and the muted roar of the crowd

what?

quote:

�less muted once they noticed the doors being opened.

double what?

quote:

It was nearly time when they would find out who their next Seated Blending would be, and their level of excitement was so high that Delin could feel it in the air like something tangible. But most of that excitement was on behalf of the peasants he and the others would face. If Zolind had really expected the masses to become more and more fond of Delin�s group as the days and competitions went by, that was another part of the fool�s plan which hadn�t worked.

I would have liked an alternate storyline in which there was also a political campaigning aspect to the tournament and you had to win over the masses, because they could upvote/downvote literal advantages for you in the arena. That would have been cool.

Sanderson had something like this in the backdrop for Perfect State, which was a fun novella to read.

quote:

Delin joined the others in following their official guide out onto the sands, but he felt as though he were moving through a dream. The waves of screaming delight and applause washed over him, threatening to knock him down, making him believe that all the encouragement and support were for him. Sand began to enter his sandals the way it usually did, but this time he ignored it. All those people were waiting for him to fulfill their dreams, and he couldn�t bring himself to disappoint them.

It is really hard to tell which part of Delin's narration is his own delusions and which part is Kambil's influence.

quote:

The guide took them to the designated place in the sand and then left them, just as the other group was left thirty feet away. The sun beat down on them mercilessly, hating the fact that they were all protected by white robes and hoods.

why are we suddenly personifying the sun now?

quote:

The others of his group moved into position in front of him, preserving the myth that it wasn�t possible to Blend otherwise. What the fools around them didn�t know couldn�t be used against them�

Here's another alternate storyline: what if ALL the Blendings actually cooperated together to overthrow the Advisors from within the competition? That would have been fun too!

quote:

And then the giant torches set on two sides of the amphitheater burst into flame, and Delin was swept up and devoured by the entity the five of them Blended into. His last thought was what a relief it was to be devoured so, and then the entity looked about itself.

Real smooth transition, Green.

quote:

Just as it had expected, another entity waited to challenge it the way the previous ones had.

But this latest enemy made no effort to rush to the attack, so the entity did it for its opponent. Fire flamed out as sand was hurled with strength and water was added as air was taken away�but somehow none of that worked. Everywhere the entity thrust was a shield-barrier, invisible and intangible, but still incredibly there. This had never happened before, not in any of the three battles which the entity had fought.

................

:ughh:

So remember way back when, when there was that brief mention of shields in passing that I was really annoyed about? This is why.

quote:

And then a counterattack came, one which was so strong that the entity was nearly overwhelmed completely.

I am overwhelmed by how vague and banal this sentence is.

quote:

Only by the expenditure of total effort was the entity able to defend itself, and even so, some of the fleshly forms of its components staggered. The truth was clear and as unavoidable as the attack: the enemy was far stronger than the entity, and the next attack would finish the matter.

This is case in point of why Green's authorial choice to use detached entity POVs suck. She doesn't do anything interesting with them, and because this is the Blendingverse, every single climatic point from hereon involves Blending so this is all the emotional impact that we're gonna get.

Who am I kidding, it's not like the individual POVs are any better.

quote:

Despair wasn�t something the entity was truly able to feel, but echoes of the emotion came from one part of it. Defeat was merely something to be accepted if it came�but then the entity�s attention was taken by an oddity. Without the entity making an effort of any sort, the enemy entity suddenly disappeared as its five separate components collapsed to the sand. And the components lay there unmoving � how odd, how very odd�

Three guesses as to what happened!

quote:

And then it was Delin back again, aware of his individuality and completely stunned. Their opponents were down, apparently unconscious� How could that possibly have happened?

�I�m delighted to say that the major plan worked just fine,� Kambil told them all with a laugh. �Those letters were left in their apartment as a distraction, giving them something to think about even if they weren�t read. The thing we wanted them to miss was the fact that their undergarments were impregnated with hilsom powder. At the first sign that we weren�t able to defeat them, Zolind had the High Earth magic talents he sent here simply shake the undergarments. Their entity was so engrossed with ours that it never noticed, but it certainly noticed when they all breathed in the powder. They were immediately cut off from their individual abilities, and then the High talents were able to put them to sleep. They intended to use more than one High in order to reach the Earth magic member, I was told, and apparently whatever number they used was the right one.�

Yep. This moment is the entire reason the previous chapter exists. And it is so dumb.

WHO THE HELL DOESN'T NOTICE THAT THEIR FREAKING UNDERWEAR IS COVERED WITH A POWDER?!?!??!?!!??!

I don't care how fine the powder is, you're gonna notice it! And if it's not talcum powder fine, then you're sure as hell gonna feel it.

quote:

�Why weren�t the rest of us told about that?� Delin demanded as the others chuckled their appreciation. �I was nearly beside myself, and might even have refused to compete!�

Write this story instead.

quote:

�There was no real danger of that, and we had to make our act look good,� Kambil said soothingly despite the insanity now being produced by the crowds. �If we�d all strutted out here without a care in the world, the commoner officials would have known that something � extralegal was planned.

Spoilers for the next book Meerk and his buddies aren't very smart.

quote:

But this isn�t the place to discuss it. Let�s accept everyone�s congratulations, and then go home.�

Delin�s anger wasn�t interested in waiting, but when the others threw their hoods off and headed back toward the gathering area, he had no choice but to do the same.

OMFG you have a choice. Green just doesn't want you to go there because it would derail her outline.

quote:

That certainly wasn�t the place for discussions, but once they reached some quiet spot�

See this makes you think there's gonna be a one-on-one Delin/Kambil magical battle in the following scene. Not-spoilers: there won't be, because Green.

quote:

* * *

The promised discussion didn�t take place for hours. First they had to accept the congratulations of every human being they passed, and then they were put in individual carriages and paraded up the roads and through the streets. Not many people shouted and waved in the peasant areas, but once they reached the more important neighborhoods things definitely changed. People of position applauded politely as their carriages passed, and servants shouted words of delight and support. To a certain extent it was truly gratifying,

quote:

but Delin was still too angry to really appreciate it. And that was another unanswered question: why were they being returned to their residence rather than taken to the palace?

Yeah, I'll give Delin that. This is a part of the plot that makes no sense. It's a death match to determine the new rulers of the Empire! The Seating ceremony ought to be held immediately after the final battle and then the victors get to go to the palace.

quote:

When they finally did reach the residence, Delin had long since decided how it would be best to handle things. For that reason he made sure to stroll into the sitting room first while the others stood in the front hall sharing the excitement and delight they hadn�t been able to show earlier. While they made fools of themselves he took out the vial he�d hidden behind the cushions of a couch, poured himself a cup of tea from the service, then emptied the vial into the rest of the tea.

Sometimes I'm convinced that the whole tea gag exists so Green can let characters without Spirit magic Puredan their way through their problems.

quote:

He had taken a chair and was sipping from his cup when the others stormed in, all of them acting like small children after successfully completing a prank. Delin added his own smile as he watched them all take tea, and when the last of them turned away from the service, he raised his cup high.

�To the newest Blending of the Empire, long may we reign!� he toasted, and the others added, �Here, here!� before joining him in drinking�just as he�d known they would. He then waited until they�d all taken seats, after which he looked directly at Kambil.

Spoilers for the rest of this scene Uh, Delin? This is not how Puredan works. If you had legit Puredan, they all would have frozen the moment they drank.

quote:

�For your information, you�ve all just swallowed a good dose of Puredan,� he announced amiably. �If the thought disturbs you, it shouldn�t. The leader of a group is entitled to know everything, and if he can�t get his answers one way, he has to get them another.�

�What answers are you after, Delin?� Kambil asked without the least sign of agitation. �I�ll be glad to tell you anything I can.�

INCOMING INFODUMP!

quote:

�Of course you�re glad,� Delin countered, letting some of his fury show through. �You have no choice but to be glad. Now we can start with why I wasn�t told about what Zolind actually planned to do. He may not know I�m leader here, but you certainly do.�

�You weren�t told because you simply can�t be trusted, Delin,� Kambil replied pleasantly with a continuing lack of hesitation. �Even if you managed not to brag to someone, your arrogance would have been so thick that you would have given the game away. The commoners� observers were watching us very closely, so we simply couldn�t afford that.�

Observers that we have not seen on the page, ever, because we have not seen these guys do anything in an official capacity besides their private masteries or training sessions, which none of the observers were privy to.

quote:

�Are you insane?� Delin demanded in complete outrage. �I don�t brag about the things I do, and I�ve learned to be humble when humility is called for. You�re just making excuses, so I�ll give you a different question. Why are we here instead of at the palace? There are certain plans I mean to move ahead on at once, even before we�re Seated.�

�You�re talking about arranging to have your father and mother killed,� Kambil said with a nod, shocking Delin. �Yes, I know all about it, which is one of the reasons I agreed to Zolind�s demand that we come back here rather than go to the palace as we�re supposed to. Once we get there we�ll be expected to separate, and I needed to finish up with you before that�s done. We have much more important things to worry about than your vengeance against your parents.�

�But�what�What are you talking about?� Delin stuttered, suddenly noticing the way the others were calmly staring at him. �You can�t know�you can�t speak to me like�What�s going on here? You�re supposed to be drugged�!�

So the idea of having Delin discover Puredan is a thing, but not understanding how it's supposed to work and being taken in by fake Puredan and having his plans fail�that's a legitimately good idea.

Of course, as usual, the execution is piss poor.

quote:

�Not many people can be drugged with plain water,� Kambil commented with a smile after taking another sip of his tea. �And that�s all you added to the service, plain water. The Puredan you paid quite a lot of gold for was never really Puredan, I made sure of that. Letting you have it would have been like putting a weapon into the hands of a small child.�

�A completely insane small child,� Bron added without inflection, still studying Delin. �I missed seeing it at first, of course, but certainly made up for that blindness later. Insane doesn�t necessarily also mean stupid, but you seem to be the exception to that rule.�

�Which at least afforded us some amusement,� Homin said, the faint smile he wore causing Delin to feel chilled. �In the beginning you thought you were controlling Bron by calling him our leader, and never once stopped to wonder why the rest of us saw through the farce, but he didn�t. You simply grew tired of the pretense and made it clear that you were leader, and again never wondered why no one argued.�

�It was because we were all humoring you,� Selendi told him, the gentleness of her tone like a slap in the face. �It was amusing to a certain extent, but when we saw how easily you might ruin everything, it stopped being funny. We told Kambil we thought he should control you completely, but he said it wasn�t possible yet.�

Here, have a villain ~~monologue~~ ~~quadralogue~~ monologue (because technically Kambil's controlling the others) that retcons a whole bunch of stuff that wasn't really foreshadowed properly!

quote:

�Which, unfortunately, it wasn�t,� Kambil said, taking up the narrative again. �There�s a definite � extra something � which comes from Earth magic in a Blending, but it doesn�t appear if the Earth magic user is being controlled. You might even call it a hidden reserve of emergency strength, but whatever it is it simply wasn�t there when I took full control of you.

If only we had ever seen any Blendings in action enough to actually discern this for ourselves!

quote:

I had to leave you mostly uncontrolled, then, but we did without the extra anyway. Your terror was so thick that it affected the Blending entity, so you almost caused us to lose all by yourself.�

�I did no such thing!� Delin snarled, humiliation flushing his skin to the point of pain.

I'm with Delin here. There was nothing to indicate their looming defeat was due to anything other than being weaker in talent vs the protagonists.

quote:

�I don�t get terrified and I certainly don�t lose, but you people do make me sick! It isn�t me he�s controlling but the rest of you! I know you can�t see yourselves from the outside, but you�re not the same people you were!�

�And you�re only just noticing that,� Bron commented while Homin and Selendi showed those faint and horrible smiles again. �We remember exactly what we were like, but Kambil�s been working with us practically from the day we were first put into this group.�

�He just didn�t let us show these much more efficient selves until there was no one around to notice and wonder,� Selendi went on. �We love being efficient and capable, untouched by all those emotions which used to choke us and trip us. We�re the same as we used to be�except for the petty problems we were hampered by.�

No, Green will never explore this in further depth.

quote:

�But I do actually regret something, even if the regret is faint,� Homin said, taking his turn again. �It would have been marvelous to be able to show the new me to that offensive Elfini, but your sickness made that impossible, Delin. If not for you, she wouldn�t have had to die.�

�You know I killed her?� Delin demanded, his voice much higher and more shrill than he�d wanted it to be. �But no one was supposed to�I mean, you�re completely mistaken. I did no such thing, so you�d better not say it again or I�ll��

�Tell your father?� Kambil suggested with sickening amusement. �Or possibly kill us as well? Save yourself the effort of planning our deaths, Delin. You�re marvelous at making those sorts of plans, but you simply haven�t got what it takes to carry them out. You�re a bungler, and you�ve never killed anyone in your entire life.�

�That�s not true,� Delin choked out, his head whirling so wildly that his vision had started to blur. And he�d dropped his cup of tea� �I�ve killed more than once, Elfini and Ollon Kapmar, and those sluts at the pleasure parlors��

�You did nothing at the pleasure parlors but faint,� Kambil�s voice came through the ringing in Delin�s ears. �After the first time, you mumbled something before you came out of it about how happy you were to have killed the girl. The manager of the establishment took that as his cue about how to behave, and therefore told you that he�d discreetly gotten rid of the body. Your tip to him was so generous that he shared the information about your preferences with the managers of the other parlors you patronized, and thereafter he shared their own tips as well. They lied to you, you fool, and simply kept the �dead� girls out of your way for a while. You never really noticed their faces, so there were some you �killed� two or three times.�

�No,� Delin moaned, fists to his temples in an effort to stop the throbbing pain in his head. �I did kill them, I did! Them and Elfini and Ollon Kapmar! You�re lying, you�re��

quote:

�What I am is sick and tired of cleaning up after your messes,� Kambil said from somewhere, unbelievably sounding annoyed. �I didn�t trust you any farther than Selendi could throw you, so I followed you when you so generously agreed to help Homin. You were actually fool enough to go in and abuse that woman, after which you fainted as usual. If I hadn�t been there, she would have summoned the guard and had you locked up and the key thrown away.�

�She certainly would have,� Homin agreed soberly. �She lived for power, so she never would have dropped the charges. You would have stayed under arrest, and we would have been given a Low or Middle talent in Earth magic to round out our Blending.�

So much for those stakes earlier in the books.

quote:

�So I had to make her forget about what had happened,� Kambil continued. �You were dreaming happy dreams as usual, but she was straining to recover what I�d forced her to forget. I could tell she�d recover the memories unless I stayed there and kept a constant eye on her, and that was completely impractical. So I gave you something else to dream about, and went back that night and killed her myself. Just in time, I might add, as she was close to remembering what had happened. That was the real reason she beat Homin�s father so badly. The incident was beginning to come back, but she still felt confused about the identity of her attacker. Confused enough to think it might have been the man under her whip.�

�But I was there,� Delin whispered, still writhing in pain in the chair. �I remember every bit of it��

�Every bit but the killing part,� Kambil said with a sound of scorn. �I couldn�t get your mind to accept that part of it, because it was reality rather than fantasy. You�ve never been able to handle that sort of reality, not after what your father did to you�and made you do. You did clean things up nicely, though, after I told you what had to be done. And while you thought it was your own idea��

Spirit magic: the canon reason Green can retcon anything and pretend all this complex plotting was happening the whole time in the background!

quote:

�But you couldn�t let well-enough be,� Bron said, sounding like a disapproving adult speaking to a child. �Your hatred of Rigos was so intense that you had to keep punishing him for being a better man than you despite his lack of talent. Kambil was busy working with us and the servants at the time, and we all thought you were safely off with one of your bored older women. They pass you from one to the other as a group joke, and all the time you believed it was your charm that got you into their beds.�

�Bron woke me when you were late getting back, so we went out searching for you,� Kambil said. �It took a short while to pick up your mental trail,

No, the official investigators don't know anything about this mental trail and it is never explained why (even though at least one of them is a High talent in Spirit magic). Also this concept of a mental trail will never come up again in the books.

quote:

so by the time we caught up with you you�d just finished telling Ollon Kapmar that you�d killed his sister. The man�s obsession was much too strong for me to work through, so he had to die as well. This time I was able to give you the entire scene, because I disguised it as daydreaming. I had you do everything necessary in the way of removing our traces and then kept you from going back into the room, but it was all wasted effort.�

�Because we didn�t know that Rigos had killed himself,� Homin said, his tone just like Bron�s. �That ruined everything, of course, because instead of dropping the investigation with the death of the strongest suspect, they realized that Rigos was innocent after all. So they dug and questioned and checked and cross-checked, and now they know exactly who the real murderer is.�

�You,� Kambil supplied cheerfully while Delin fought to keep his head from breaking open. �Zolind told me so when he and I spoke privately, only he doesn�t remember that he told me so. He also doesn�t remember admitting that it would be impolitic on his part to let us lose in front of everyone, but he�ll never allow us to be Seated, not as long as he lives. That�s why our first concern has to be doing something about the condition.�

I don't understand why Kambil can't just control Zolind and make him Seat them too.

quote:

�His continuing to live, Kambil means,� Selendi said with a chuckle. �In point of fact we�ve decided not to let any of the Advisors live, and you�ll do your part to help us end them. We won�t need that something extra to accomplish their ends, so from now on you�ll be under complete control. You�ll even be under control when we destroy the present Blending. We�ve already checked, and their strongest member is no stronger than a good Middle.�

Green just revealing all of her poor plotting and gaping plot holes left and right because HOW HAS NOBODY ELSE CHECKED THIS BEFORE AND BLOWN THE SECRET WIDE OPEN?!??!?!

quote:

�But first we wanted you to know how much trouble you�ve caused us,� Kambil said, for the first time with vindictive satisfaction in his voice. �Your insanity runs much too deep for me to be able to do anything about it, even with Grammi�s help. Oh, that�s right, you don�t know that my grandmother has been helping me. She loves me even more than I love her, and she�d never let anything terrible happen to me. The fact that she�s also a High in Spirit magic has all but doubled my effectiveness.�

quote:

�Which he needed when he had you under partial control,� Homin said negligently. �We had to give the commoners the keying phrase to release them from the control of others, but you almost refused to send it. Kambil did some very thorough research when he was supposed to be napping all those times, and he discovered that our peers in the other Blendings were all incompetent fools. They were also not nearly as strong as we are, so if the commoners were freed they would eliminate our peers for us�leaving us as the only ones the Advisors could support in order to save everyone�s face. Kambil also found out that that one Blending would not hesitate to pass on what they learned, so they had to be the ones to be given the information�which you regretted sending even while you were doing it. You just have no imagination or the courage to take a chance, Delin.�

quote:

�And now that we�ve had the pleasure of telling you the truth, you�ll be put under Kambil�s complete control,� Bron said with the same smile that Homin and Selendi showed. �You�ll no longer have to be coddled, and you�ll do exactly as you�re told. You certainly won�t like it, but you also won�t be able to do anything about it. Goodbye, Delin.�

Delin had been trying to scream, but nothing in the way of sound came out. The ice of terror had formed all through him, and then it froze him solid�

Summary:

Day 22
Tamrissa and co finally get called to compete in the last day of the competitions. Naran is super sure they're definitely going to win. Upon their arrival at the amphitheatre, they are escorted to wait around again, in an apartment with a bunch of anonymous letters addressed to them personally. Rion volunteers as tribute and opens his letter to discover that his father is not a dead noble, but was in fact his mother's gardener who was fired as soon as she conceived Rion and so is probably still alive and out there, somewhere. Rion is shattered by the revelation, but does a complete 180 when the rest of Our Heroes point out how this is actually the Best News Ever because now he's really a REAL PERSON and not a useless noble.

Delin has a mini freak out because the antagonists discover that the letters were not read. They Blend and discover that Tamrissa and co are WAY stronger and also know how to shield, which conveniently has only been mentioned like once in the narrative to date and not an ability that the protagonists have demonstrated before. Delin and co are about to lose when the protagonists all collapse because Zolind had people hide hilsom powder in their regulation testing authority issued underwear...and all it took to trigger that powder was to have some Air talents shake their clothes. Delin is super confused and pissed off at Kambil taking charge so he tries to drug his Blendingmates with Puredan. Except it turns out to be just water and Kambil (and his mind slaves, Homin, Selendi and Bron) conveniently gives us a villain monologue that retcons everything we've seen in the antagonist storyline and reads like Green's revision notes from her editor of how she could make the book not boring.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 31 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace), Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 23 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 118 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2)
COACH RIDES: 54 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 96 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 59 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
TEA DRINKING: 67 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 35 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
MIND CONTROL: 21 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 12, including 2 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)

Possible fixes:
I'm serious about everything in Kambil's monologue being Green's revision notes. All that stuff should have been ON THE PAGE AS IT HAPPENED OMG WHY.

# ? Apr 9, 2022 02:09

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

It's like a fanfic author who decided they were tired of a story before finishing and just posted their outline with dialogue tags. :allears:

# ? Apr 13, 2022 05:26

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

Lorand awoke�to a certain extent. His head ached in a way that he�d never felt before, the pain so intense that he wished he were unconscious again. And there was nothing he could do to stop the pain. Even if he�d been able to work around it�and the blurriness covering his mind�he couldn�t seem to figure out where the power was�

Hilsom powder sucks.

quote:

�Look, he�s tryin� t�wake up!� someone said, sounding alarmed. �He ain�t �sposta try t� wake up!�

If any other author wrote this, it would have been with the intention to signal that there is Something Special about Lorand, albeit in a pretty hamfisted way.

Spoilers for the next book: Green will never address this, ever, so who knows? My money is on her needing a way to end the book with her protagonists but being unable to find a way to logically do so since they're all unconscious so she just has them partially wake up to get clumsy dialogue exposition

quote:

�So what if he does?� another voice countered, male like the first voice.

I'm starting to get into line edits for my novel. There are SO MANY WAYS you can describe voices. But all we ever get from Green is "male" or "female".

quote:

�They got him so doped up that he won�t even know what day it is. When you feed him later, you�ll probably have to keep shaking him to remind him what he�s about. But you better not let him start wasting away, or they�ll skin you alive.�

�Why?� the first voice demanded, a heavy whine to it. �I heared he�s prob�ly all kindsa damaged like, �cause a th� way he got yanked outta that Blendin�. Gettin� yanked out�s �sposta damage �em real bad, so why�d they still want �im? An� if he ain�t damaged, how�m I �sposta handle a High?�

Dun dun DUN! Wow, what a twist! Our Heroes, who are the Strongest Magical Talents Ever, might face consequences and have to do things using their brains instead of blithely blasting through every obstacle with raw strength.

Spoilers for the next book: there is no damage. They're all perfectly fine and will continue to blast their way through problems blithely with raw strength

quote:

�Why do you insist on worrying about things that are none of your business?� the second voice asked, sounding angrily impatient.

These dialogue tags. They're killing me. If you've got good characterization, you should be able to write a conversation entirely without dialogue tags and it should still be abundantly clear to a reader who is speaking what lines.

Don't get me wrong, this is hard to do. But Green isn't even trying here.

quote:

�Even if he�s left with no more than Middle talent, they�ll still want to find that out for themselves.

New info about the magic system that has never appeared before! Spoilers: another fakeout. We will never see anybody ever partially damage their talent. It's basically all or nothing.

quote:

They�ll be able to use him even like that, but if his talent level remains intact, he�ll be much more valuable. They�ll dose him with Puredan to make him docile, and then they�ll use him until they burn him out. You, personally, have nothing to fear, because they�ll transport him to where the army is before they let him come back to himself.

It took 3 books before that throwaway mention in Book 1 about the army becomes relevant because NOBODY did any intrigue because they were too busy with their relationship drama.

quote:

Are you satisfied now?�

�Yeah, yeah sure,� the first voice muttered, and then there was silence again. But it wasn�t silent inside Lorand�s head, where fear joined the unending pain. He had no idea what the men were talking about, and couldn�t even remember what had happened to him. He lay on something hard in a place with a terrible stench, but he didn�t know where the place was. He was supposed to have been doing something, but he couldn�t remember what that something was.

Green's vague prose does not lend itself to writing disorientation. If anything, it makes it worse.

quote:

All he knew was that someone was going to try to burn out his mind.

A long moan escaped Lorand�s lips as he tried to free himself from whatever held him down, but it suddenly came to him that he wasn�t chained or even tied. Something insubstantial held him in its grip, but its lack of substance did nothing to limit it. It held him tightly, like the arms of a very strong woman�

Uh. Weirdly sexist.

quote:

A woman. Hadn�t there been a woman in his life somewhere? The memory of her hid just out of reach, teasing him with hints and suggestions. Had she been like that, a woman who teased? He�d always wanted to meet a woman who would tease him lovingly and gently�

Oh FFS. It's because Green wanted some sort of transition to insert a vague thought about Jovvi, because Lorand and Jovvi are obvious in True Love. It's the worst transition.

quote:

Gently. That word didn�t fit anywhere in his world. He�d tried gently to open his eyes, but they�d refused to work. He�d wanted his head to pound more gently, but he couldn�t make it happen. Nothing was working right�

Working � was he working? Had he had an accident? Someone really should have come by to tell him what was going on, it would only have been common decency. Now�

Now he wished he knew where he was � and what had happened � and who was he, anyway�?

Well that was pointless and took way more words than it needed (which is to say...infinite, because this, imo is the wrong POV to use).

Now get ready to read the same thing FOUR MORE TIMES.

quote:

* * *

Jovvi felt as though she floated in a heavy sea, she herself heavier than usual. Everything around and about her was heavy, even the air almost too thick to breathe. It was a strain to draw that air into her lungs, and struggling to do it made her head hurt more. But it also seemed to thin the sea a bit, enough so that she could just touch the outer world�

�Well, well, aren�t you the adventurous one,� a male voice murmured very near to her, and then a hand smoothed her hair. �You�re actually trying to wake up, even though it isn�t time for you to do that. First we�ll find a place to make you nice and comfortable, then we�ll wait for the first transport group that�s formed, and then you�ll take a nice long trip. You�ll like that, won�t you?�

Gross.

quote:

Jovvi could almost understand the words being spoken to her, but trying harder was out of the question. Even lying wherever she lay was almost too much of an effort, so anything beyond that � except for taking a deeper breath�

�Now, now, just settle down,� the voice said, again almost clearly enough to be understood. �I understand that you�re probably disappointed, but the lord who is Seated High in your aspect decided that he doesn�t want you after all.

Double gross.

quote:

To look at you, one might easily consider him mad, but then one would have to pause in thought. If a man of his strength doesn�t even care to dally with you for a short while, you must be dangerous indeed. I am a man possessed of sufficient courage for all things, yet my sense of discretion usually surpasses the other. They�ll make good use of your talents�whatever they may now be�in the place where you�re awaited, and I�ll find a less adventurous�and adventuresome�woman to do my own dallying with. Rest now, for when you get where they mean to send you, there will be no rest short of death�or burnout, whichever comes first.�

Given the track record of where things have gone in this series so far (and also where things will go in subsequent books), I'm pretty surprise that this guy hasn't already taken his pants off to take advantage of Jovvi while she's incapacitated.

quote:

Jovvi thought she heard the word �burnout,� and agitation began to build inside her.

It's hard to find a more detached way of expressing panic that's building up despite Jovvi's drugged state.

quote:

That word � it meant something beyond the ordinary, beyond what most words mean. She had to � do something she hadn�t gotten around to � had to remember something specific � find someone important�

quote:

Opening her eyes proved to be impossible, as was any sort of movement. And that hand, smoothing her hair � it made her want to rest for a while, to sleep until the sea rolled out and she wasn�t so heavy any longer � heavy � sleep�

quote:

* * *

�Yes, my darling, that�s right,� Rion heard, a woman speaking softly and encouragingly. �Try to wake up just a bit, my darling, so that you�ll understand what I have to say.�

What I appreciate most about the Rion variants is that at least they're somewhat different!

quote:

Rion fought to open his eyes, but at first his vision was too blurred to make anything out. Blinking helped to solve the problem to some extent, but it was still necessary to focus. He finally did so, using the face which swam before him as an anchor, and once success was his he immediately wished he�d failed.

�No, no, darling, don�t frown so,� Mother chided, just as she always used to do. �It will put lines into your face and make you look older, and then people will think I�m older. We certainly can�t have that, now can we?�

Rion tried to speak, to tell her just exactly what she would and would not have, but his tongue refused to operate properly. And his head ached so abominably that he winced at the concept of trying to form words into a sentence.

Also because he's the only one with a distinctive personality.

quote:

�Of course we can�t,� she continued with a smile and a pat on his cheek, just as though he�d agreed with her. �Now that you�re back beside me again, we won�t allow anything into our lives that isn�t perfect. No, don�t try to speak, you won�t be able to do that for some time yet. I�m going to keep you drugged for a bit, you see, to make sure you aren�t able to keep yourself from being permanently damaged.�

Permanently damaged � The words chilled him, even though he had no idea what they meant. Nothing could have happened � he didn�t remember anything happening � but where had that headache come from�?

Third time lucky, Green! This sucks comparatively less to your previous attempts. Maybe it's because you've got two characters with an established history and motivations that conflict with each other, as opposed to random generic unseen henchmen doing their job? Just a thought.

quote:

�Don�t you worry about that now, darling,� Mother went on, chatting happily. �The physician tells me that you�re probably permanently damaged anyway, but there�s a chance the damage can be minimized if you�re able to work against it. But we don�t want it minimized, not when that might let you imagine you can escape me again. You can�t, you know, because you�re mine and always will be. But please don�t think you�ll be given an allowance again, I�d hate for you to be disappointed. From now on Mother will control everything, and you�ll be her loving, devoted, talentless boy.�

Rion fought against it, but the tears rolled down his face anyway. He couldn�t even remember what had happened, but he still felt a vast sense of inconsolable loss. It wasn�t even possible for him to move, and that seemed to please Mother enormously.

�That�s right, my darling, you have a good cry,� she said, the expression on her face making him ill. �Cry all you need to and then you�ll sleep, and when you awake everything will be the way it was before. Except that I�ll never again allow you to leave my side. But then�there won�t be any reason for you to leave, will there, my darling?�

Rion let his eyes close again, which did nothing to stop his tears. It seemed as though the crying came from a very small boy inside him � while a grown man tried to rage and fight. But that grown man had no strength � and the mists of sleep were closing in again � and couldn�t be avoided even though they would trap him forever�

And now I actually feel bad for Rion.

quote:

* * *

I think I became aware of my heart beating first, which struck me as being odd. A person is rarely aware of her own heartbeat, unless fright causes it to quicken or to nearly stop dead. My own heartbeat was more than ordinarily rapid, but I didn�t know why�

As always, Tamrissa's reactions are weirdly calibrated.

quote:

�I said, lovely child, can you hear me?� a man�s voice came, the words answering my previous question. The thud of my heart grew even louder as I recognized the voice. It belonged to a man whose name I didn�t even know, but the vague, unformed memory of his intentions was very unsettling.

Hi Lanir.

quote:

�Your muscles have tightened a bit, so I presume you can hear every word despite your lack of verbal response,� the man went on. �That suits me well enough for the moment, as I shall speak and you need only listen. Later, of course, you�ll also be expected to obey. If you fail to do so, you�ll be made to produce a verbal response other than speaking.�

He chuckled at that, a sound which made my blood run cold, but for no reason easily understood. Who was this man, and what did he want of me?

Lanir is a creep. But we already knew that. He was the guy who spiked Tamrissa's tea post initial testing all the way back in Book 1 and, as you've probably deduced from Jovvi's scene, he is the Seated High in Fire. Real charmer.

quote:

�To begin with, I should explain that the pain I�m told you probably feel is the result of your having been damaged,� he said. �It�s highly unlikely that you�ll ever be what you once were, but please don�t feel relief just yet. My interest in you remains as high as it was, for you�re still perfectly able to serve my purpose.�

What purpose? I wanted to say, but the lethargy all through me didn�t allow it. I had no idea what he was talking about, but for some reason it still frightened me.

Lanir is awful and a way more interesting and nuanced antagonist than Odrin Hallasser.

quote:

�Now, I mean to keep you quietly sedated for a time,� he said, �but not for too long a time. I find I�m truly eager to begin with you, and as soon as the Puredan is brought to me I�ll have you drink it. After that you�ll no longer need to be sedated, and we�ll be able to begin.�

He chuckled again. �There�s something rather amusing that you should hear. Your father and some crony of his attempted to claim you, actually challenging my right to possess you. I put them off until tomorrow, but only to give myself time to prepare something really special for them. It will be the highlight of my dinner party tomorrow night, and I mean to let you be present to watch. No, don�t try to thank me, I�ve already decided on how I mean to be thanked.�

His chuckling really bothered me, especially since I could almost remember something about my father and some friend of his. That memory was just as disturbing, even without any details. I didn�t want to hear about any of it, and the best way to escape was in sleep. I felt sleepy anyway � sleepy and frightened � sleepy and miserable � sleepy and very lonely�

I can't tell if that last bit is meant to be about the Blending or Vallant. Presumably both, though I still don't buy any of those relationships so I don't buy this sentiment.

quote:

* * *

�� know what they could do to me for this?� a thin and trembling male voice demanded. �They could end my career, and then where would I be? Please ask for something else, my dear, I beg of you.�

�But there isn�t anything else that I want,� a female voice responded, one that Vallant seemed to recognize. �You owe me more than one favor, love, and if you don�t pay up I�ll just have to collect in another way. Would you prefer if I did that?�

�No!� the male voice almost shrieked, and then it quieted again. �No, I would not prefer that other way. You leave me no choice but to do exactly as you wish.�

Spoilers for the next book: Hi Eltrina. This is where Green's character assassination just goes from an author mishandling her characters to making me feel like she's got something against ambitious women

quote:

�Stop making it sound like the end of the world,� the woman chided with a laugh. �No one will be doing anything with him until it�s time to send him on his trip, so he might as well do his waiting here. I have this perfectly lovely little box prepared for him, made out of steel so that nothing will be able to harm him. When he learns to beg properly I�ll let him out for a while, but I won�t forget to put him back again. That should satisfy your feelings of anxiety, shouldn�t it?�

Continued spoilers: we have never seen Eltrina do anything this cruel. Cutting remarks, yes, but actually exploiting someone's known phobia? Nope. I get that it's supposed to show how nobles don't view commoners as fellow humans, but this is NOT how Eltrina portrayed herself in her introduction.

quote:

�Perhaps,� the male voice allowed grudgingly while Vallant�s insides began to twist and burn. He couldn�t quite remember why he felt like that, but it had something to do with part of what the woman had said. And his head hurt, for some reason he also couldn�t remember. What was going on here�and where in the name of chaos was �here�?

�Oh, he�ll be fine,� the woman said with more laughter. �I�m just going to put him to work for a while, and then you can have him back. I�m sure he thought he�d seen the last of me, but a person�s power isn�t always linked only to her career position. When I decide I want something, I never rest until I get it.�

I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

quote:

�Well, now you have him,� the male voice said, still sounding extremely unhappy. �Just be sure you don�t lose or damage him, or we�ll both regret it. If I�m blamed for anything, I�ll make certain that you�re right there beside me.�

�Worrier, worrier,� the woman laughed, then went on to reassure the man again in different words. Vallant tried to listen, hoping to find out where he was and what was happening, but everything both inside him and out began to lurch. Not sick-making lurch but sleepy lurch �

Remember how Vallant's a sailor? And aaaaaaaaallll the seafaring analogies that could be used here?

quote:

as though he were being rocked in the arms of someone who needed badly for him to be there �

Well Green doesn't.

quote:

even though he couldn�t be there � wherever there was � sleepy lurch, back and forth, back and forth � out but not in � please, please, never in�

Summary:

Day 22
Tamrissa and co finally get called to compete in the last day of the competitions. Naran is super sure they're definitely going to win. Upon their arrival at the amphitheatre, they are escorted to wait around again, in an apartment with a bunch of anonymous letters addressed to them personally. Rion volunteers as tribute and opens his letter to discover that his father is not a dead noble, but was in fact his mother's gardener who was fired as soon as she conceived Rion and so is probably still alive and out there, somewhere. Rion is shattered by the revelation, but does a complete 180 when the rest of Our Heroes point out how this is actually the Best News Ever because now he's really a REAL PERSON and not a useless noble.

Delin has a mini freak out because the antagonists discover that the letters were not read. They Blend and discover that Tamrissa and co are WAY stronger and also know how to shield, which conveniently has only been mentioned like once in the narrative to date and not an ability that the protagonists have demonstrated before. Delin and co are about to lose when the protagonists all collapse because Zolind had people hide hilsom powder in their regulation testing authority issued underwear...and all it took to trigger that powder was to have some Air talents shake their clothes. Delin is super confused and pissed off at Kambil taking charge so he tries to drug his Blendingmates with Puredan. Except it turns out to be just water and Kambil (and his mind slaves, Homin, Selendi and Bron) conveniently gives us a villain monologue that retcons everything we've seen in the antagonist storyline and reads like Green's revision notes from her editor of how she could make the book not boring.

Lorand/Jovvi/Rion/Tamrissa/Vallant individually half-wake in a drugged state. They can't remember what happened and they can't reach the power and the people around them keep saying that they might be "damaged". Permanently.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 31 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace), Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 23 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 118 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2)
COACH RIDES: 56 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 96 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 64 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
TEA DRINKING: 67 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 35 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
MIND CONTROL: 21 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 12, including 2 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? Chapter 49

Possible fixes:
Pick ONE POV Green. A single POV done well is going to be so much more effective than many POVs done poorly. We don't need to see this from every protagonist's POV. Seeing just one POV, with them drugged and confused about their surrounds and what happened and their Blendingmates nowhere in sight would have conveyed what happened just fine�even if we didn't get a whole villain monologue from Kambil explaining everything in detail in the previous chapter.

Lorand and Jovvi are bad choices, because the people around them are just lowly henchmen. Vallant isn't a good choice either, because the people around him aren't talking about anything that would reveal the whereabouts of the others, if that's the priority. That leaves us with Tamrissa, as the primary protagonist, and Rion. Of those two choices, I'd pick Rion, because:

1) he's the best worst character;
2) he actually has a distinct personality;
3) he's actually had character growth;
4) he's been taken captive by his mother and they have an established conflict...and for the first time since this conflict kicked off, we see Hallina getting the upper hand;
5) because his character growth has hinged on getting to know the other protagonists, Hallina has an incentive to delight in telling him all about what happened to the others and how he'll never see them again (and she would also be in the position to know).

That would, in theory, set you up wanting to read the next book to see how Rion manages to get himself out of this mess and rescue the others.

Spoilers for the next book: Rion does nothing. Tamrissa rescues herself, and then Naran, the author's favorite plothole plugging device, saves Tamrissa from having to do any work to find the others

:bang:

Time for a summary post but I don't think I can do it right now. Later, when my brain isn't imploding from doing structural revisions on my own book and the stupidity of this chapter.

On that note: I am currently looking for a few more beta readers to read my novel. It's a new adult fantasy novel (approx. 120k words long), first in series, and it's basically fantasy Shark Tank meets The Apprentice with a murder mystery. Alpha and beta readers have been through it already and I've significantly revised it for their feedback. At this point, they've read it so many times it's difficult for them to give me objective feedback�so I need to get some input from some new readers to sense check the changes I've made.

If you're still here three books into this hate-read, I'm fairly confident in promising that you'll enjoy my writing more than hers, especially if you've found my ideas on how I would rewrite Green's stuff interesting and you're curious to see whether I can back up my armchair critiques with my own writing.

And if you've ever been frustrated with how Green does NOTHING interesting with Spirit magic or spoilers for Book 5 of the Blendingverse Sight magic, then you might find my take on it more intriguing.

So if this sounds like your jam, please PM me (or if you don't have PMs let me know in this thread how I can reach out to you). And I will be back with a Book 3 summary post in due course.

# ? Apr 18, 2022 08:42

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Book 3 Summary:

(interactive version here and CSV of word frequency here)

Words appearing more than 300 times:

pre:

One	603
Jovvi	581
Out	500
Now	458
Lorand	434
Time	408
Know	383
Vallant	362
Delin	357
More	337
Way	329
Even	305
Man	304
Rion	301

I think this is an improvement over Book 2? "Tea" appeared 92 times, "coach" only 52 times (with "carriage" featuring 31 times) and "bath" only 31 times too! But it's astonishing, looking at the word cloud, just how...bland the prose is. Every single word choice Green makes is insipid.

Here's the recap of Book 3 in its entirety (minus the first five chapters that should have been part of Book 2):

Day 10
Vallant and Rion fake fight (badly) for the benefit of the various spies in the residence. Jovvi heads off to Allestine's trial, accompanied by Vallant. Allestine is convicted by her own testimony, thanks to the use of Puredan (a mind control drug that tastes like funny water). Dinner is a theatrical affair of pretending they all hate each other. A post-dinner conversation between Jovvi and Tamrissa confirms the Valissa ship is back on. Jovvi and Rion hook up in the bath house.

Delin returns after successfully stealing a secret memorandum containing the Advisors secret plans and ~~pass~~ command phrase to find Rigos has been reinstated. His reinstatement was based on an Earth magic truth read and self-testimony under Puredan, but Bron thinks Rigos's father bought him free. Delin and the rest go along with it. Rigos announces they'll be taught how to Blend and leaves, crushed.

Eltrina gives another verbal report to High Lord Embisson at a meeting of the competitions steering committee, to confirm that Operation Shakespearean Deception was successful, because there was no way it would be convincing if written from any of the protagonist POVs.

Day 11
Meerk take Lorand and Tamrissa go to see Hat as a challenger to the Seated High in Earth magic. The whole contest is a sham. Lord Carmad Lestrin shows up to teach the protagonists how to Blend; the protagonists are very proud of themselves for hiding the signs of their own success. Tamrissa puts an end to all spying in the house by threatening to dob in anyone watching them since knowledge of Blending is highly classified. Another testing authority representative, Lord Twimmal, shows up to teach them to Blend (badly). Jovvi finally figures out that they've all been drugged with Puredan to obey unknown orders.

Meanwhile, Lord Idian shows up to teach the nobles how to Blend, but only Kambil and Delin are up. After Delin besmirches Rigos' reputation some more, Selendi, Homin and Bron finally show up. We get a THIRD lecture of "how to Blend" and Selendi and Bron can't reach Kambil. The three late arrivals are dismissed, then Kambil and Delin are told to have sex with Selendi ASAP, because that will somehow enable all of their magical connections to go through both Selendi AND Kambil. :wtf:

Kambil spends the afternoon messing around with everybody's heads (except for Delin). Delin has an assignation with a random MILF who is his source of intel for noble society gossip. The intel he gathers is related to his personal vendetta against Rigos which is utterly insignificant to the plot and delivered awkwardly via the worst sex scene in all eight books (which is really saying something). He ends the night by murdering Ollon Kapmar (the late Elfini's brother), except Delin doesn't remember the murder act, just the entire fantasy sequence leading up to it.

By the end of Day 11, both groups have "Blended", though consistent with the "my protagonists are just so much more awesome than everybody else", Green's protagonists get it in one try while the nobles need a second attempt. Jovvi and Tamrissa realize polycule shenanigans need to occur for magical strengthening reasons. Tamrissa and Jovvi fail to seduce Lorand and Vallant respectively, because "bros before hos".

Jovvi drags everybody into Lorand's room for a five-way conversation about group sex protocols which end up being all about soothing Vallant and Lorand's respective egos. Meanwhile, Rion sneaks off while the other four are busy drowning themselves in their sappy relationship drama to have his own sappy exchange with Naran, who needs a place to stay. They make arrangements for Naran to come back at night. After Naran leaves, Hallina shows up again. Rion tells her to go away, and she does, after the standard "you'll be sorry for this" parting speech. Everyone agrees to hide Naran.

Meanwhile, Storn and Mirra turn up again. Tamrissa and Vallant also give them the "haha go away, we're untouchable because we're in the competitions" speech which cause Storn and Mirra to also go away after their "you'll be sorry!" speech. After yet another ~~sexual assault incident~~ steamy kiss which Tamrissa totally consented to and was not Vallant trying to shut her up and make her stop talking, Tamrissa tells Vallant "I won't sleep with you until you sleep with Jovvi and I sleep with Lorand".

Meanwhile, Jovvi, Rion and Lorand engage in kindergarten level speculation about what they could be magically capable of. Upon Vallant and Tamrissa's return, Jovvi announces her own ultimatum of "I won't sleep with Vallant unless I get to sleep with Lorand afterwards". Cue polycule shenanigans, beginning with Tamrissa and Lorand, then Jovvi and Vallant. Afterwards, Tamrissa and Jovvi pretend feud their way to the bath house so they can have girl talk about Fire magic weird sex tricks and more :tinfoil:

discussion. Thanks to that discussion, Tamrissa has a nightmare. Everyone confronts Rion about the possibility that Naran could be a spy and he reluctantly agrees to let her be magically questioned. They Blend to form a magical entity (that has no physical body and a single pooled consciousness) which liberally uses Spirit magic to vet Naran's intentions and make eyewitnesses forget everything pertaining to Naran, before knocking everybody out with Earth magic and sneaking Naran into the house using Air and Water magic. Their Blending effort brings everyone (except Tamrissa) to the brink of exhaustion. Everyone other than Vallant leaves in their romantic pairs. Unfortunately, Vallant passes out cold while Tamrissa's psyching herself up for sex.

Day 12
During breakfast, Delin notices that Bron, Homin and Selendi are all acting suspiciously very unlike their actual selves while Kambil is uncharacteristically still asleep. Idian shows up to confirm Delin and co can actually Blend. Meanwhile, Blendingverse detectives are finally on the case of Ollon's murder: first, Eltrina is cleared and confirmed as Ollon's replacement, then Idian returns to break the news that Rigos committed suicide prior to Ollon's death. The detectives suspect Delin but aren't strong enough to confirm it's him.

Thanks to Tamrissa being an incredible drama queen about Vallant passing out from exhaustion, Vallant makes up a ridiculous story about the testing authority putting him to sleep. Jovvi, Lorand and Rion go along with it because Vallant and Tamrissa need to get it on for contrived plot reasons to make their Blending super strong. Meerk shows up to tell Lorand that Hat can't be found, and Lorand asks Meerk to keep looking. Twimmal shows up and they put on a very unconvincing farce of being compliant little sheep who can only surface Blend, which Twimmal is not smart enough to see through. He leaves them with a useless bunch of "Blending" exercises before Delin's letter arrives to drop plot critical information in their literal laps. Delin's letter reveals that they've all been put under Puredan control to obey commands given under a command phrase, and it takes Naran less than a minute to figure out a solution. They receive a placard announcing that the competitions will be held in seven days.

Day 15
After some Blending practice, Delin and co go out to interrogate High Lord Embisson Ruhl, only to discover that he doesn't know anything useful, because anybody who knows anything about Blendings is killed after the competitions.

Meanwhile, Vallant goes out to meet Pagin after breakfast, so that Pagin can get on with doing plot critical things, like freeing the rest of the common Blendings from the command phrase, off screen, so Vallant can come up with a new plan on how to circumvent consent in order to sleep with Tamrissa. Priorities, yo. Tamrissa has two more unconvincing encounters to duly demonstrate magically aided character growth that has happened entirely off screen. And to no one's surprise, Vallant's plan is to literally barge into Tamrissa's room while she's about to go to sleep and :huh:

her into liking him�and it actually works (because Green, but also because Jovvi and Lorand decide to mess around with Tamrissa's emotions and bodily reactions, thus taking away her ability to consent). And this is all TOTALLY OKAY because Vallant is so good at mind blowing sex that Tamrissa had many orgasms.

Day 18
Lords Idian and Twimmal show up to give their charges last minute instructions. Idian knows the instructions are full of lies; Twimmal's instructions contain more lies but Twimmal is oblivious to them. Neither the protagonists nor the noble antagonists fall for the sham. Meanwhile, Pagin Holter has been doing all the hard work of information gathering and coordinating with the other commoner Blendings off screen so Our Protagonists can indulge in congratulating themselves for engineering Vallant's rape of Tamrissa and trying to make a Big Deal out of Tamrissa's constantly holding on to the power.

Day 19
Our commoner protagonists and noble antagonists alike get stuck in a traffic jam en route to the amphitheatre that will be a Significant Location on par with the Palace and is not described anywhere as effectively as the palace was (which, if you've forgotten, was "big" and had a "verandah"). The Advisors switch around the matches as a last minute "favor" to Delin and co, for the dumb reason of not wanting Delin to die because they want to make an example of him for the various murders.

Our protagonists spend the whole chapter waiting around and changing into their competitions robes and underwear and not eating the contaminated food. Lord Simin shows up and commands them to throw the match. Once the noble leaves, our protagonists spend the rest of their waiting time being general, arrogant know-it-alls who are gleefully crowing about their victory and making plans on how they are going to reform the Empire, because they are the smartest and bestest people ever and Lord Simin is a clueless idiot who has no idea that they have broken free from their Puredan conditioning. Our Heroes walk out into the arena and annihilate their opponents, and so do three other common Blendings; only one noble Blending (guess who?) wins their match.

Kambil and co receive unofficial official backing from the Advisors due to being the only noble Blending remaining. High Lord Advisor Zolind suspects them of being the ones who caused Adriari's Blending's deaths and gives High Lord Embisson an ultimatum: find proof of Kambil and co's crimes, or else. Regardless of Embission's results, Zolind has zero intention of Seating Kambil and co: he's already planning their disappearance and replacement.

Despite Eltrina's terrible attempts to assert authority by simply yelling at people to do as she says, none of the common Blendings are dumb enough to agree to be gigantic sitting targets by staying overnight in the ampitheatre. Meanwhile Kambil and his puppets spend an entire meeting humoring Delin's delusions of being in charge.

Day 22
Tamrissa and co finally get called to compete in the last day of the competitions. Naran is super sure they're definitely going to win. Upon their arrival at the amphitheatre, they are escorted to wait around again, in an apartment with a bunch of anonymous letters addressed to them personally. Rion volunteers as tribute and opens his letter to discover that his father is not a dead noble, but was in fact his mother's gardener who was fired as soon as she conceived Rion and so is probably still alive and out there, somewhere. Rion is shattered by the revelation, but does a complete 180 when the rest of Our Heroes point out how this is actually the Best News Ever because now he's really a REAL PERSON and not a useless noble.

Delin has a mini freak out because the antagonists discover that the letters were not read. They Blend and discover that Tamrissa and co are WAY stronger and also know how to shield, which conveniently has only been mentioned like once in the narrative to date and not an ability that the protagonists have demonstrated before. Delin and co are about to lose when the protagonists all collapse because Zolind had people hide hilsom powder in their regulation testing authority issued underwear...and all it took to trigger that powder was to have some Air talents shake their clothes. Delin is super confused and pissed off at Kambil taking charge so he tries to drug his Blendingmates with Puredan. Except it turns out to be just water and Kambil (and his mind slaves, Homin, Selendi and Bron) conveniently gives us a villain monologue that retcons everything we've seen in the antagonist storyline and reads like Green's revision notes from her editor of how she could make the book not boring.

Lorand/Jovvi/Rion/Tamrissa/Vallant individually half-wake in a drugged state. They can't remember what happened and they can't reach the power and the people around them keep saying that they might be "damaged". Permanently.

Counts so far:

TOTAL WORDS: 470,857
Book 1: 181,539
Book 2 (first five chapters): 12,137
--> Actual Book 1 total = 193,676
Book 2 (remaining chapters): 136,649
Book 3 (first five chapters): 12,291
--> Actual Book 2 total = 148,940
Book 3 (remaining chapters): 128,241

We are at nearly half a million words. HALF A MILLION WORDS. My last read was The Priory of the Orange Tree which I had ambivalent feelings about. The character work was spotty, the story was fine but plot-driven rather than character drive, but it was only 260k words or so. The Traitor Baru Cormorant is around 140k words.

I want that to sink in for you. The Traitor Baru Cormorant ended up at around 140k words after edits, which is about the same number of words that are physically contained within Sharon Green's Challenges (140,532 words to be precise). Jade City is estimated at about the same.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant is one of the most brilliantly crafted epic fantasy novels in existence.

Challenges is the best book so far in an irredeemable dumpster fire of a half-assed polycule romance trying to masquerade as an epic fantasy series.

:ughh:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 31 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 23 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 118 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 56 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 96 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 64 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 67 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 35 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 21 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 12, including 2 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scepe)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Chapter 49, 5 times)

# ? Jun 10, 2022 05:41

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Book Four: Betrayals

This is the first cover that has an editorial review quote on the cover from Publishers Weekly, which is a big name trade magazine for books, and is known for its editorial reviews. Here's what its submission guidelines are, currently: https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/corp/submissionguidelines.html

Some key extracts:

quote:

Submissions must be sent three (3) months�preferably four (4)�prior to the 1st day of the month of publication.

An accompanying letter should contain a description or synopsis of the book, and any pertinent publicity information, including the author's previous titles, blurbs, or previous reviews. Book club, paperback, audio or movie rights sales, author tours of 5 cities or more, a print run of more than 10,000 or an ad/promo budget of more than $30,000 should be noted.

To be considered for review, books must have U.S. distribution. We review books in the following categories: Nonfiction, Fiction, Mystery/Thriller, Science Fiction/Fantasy/Horror, Romance/Erotica, Poetry, Comics, and Lifestyle (cooking, gardening & home, health & fitness, and parenting). Again, children's titles have their own guidelines (see below). We consider self-published books for review through BookLife.

It is very hard to get a Publishers Weekly review as a self-published author. But if you pay to play, you can spend $399 USD to get a BookLife review, which is supposedly written by the same reviewers.

Anyway, Sharon Green's publisher somehow managed to get her this review from Publishers Weekly for Convergence (Book 1):

Publishers Weekly posted:

Every 25 years, the law calls for a new Blending to rule the land. The Blending consists of five high practitioners of the magic of Fire, Earth, Air, Water and Spirit. But now is also the time foretold by the Prophecies--when the tyrannical Four would return to bring destruction to the land. Which means that this new Blending must be an extraordinary one. Convergence is an engaging, imaginative and often humorous story narrated by Tamrissa (Fire), that documents the journey, background and trials of Lorand (Earth), Clarion (Air), Vallant (Water) and Jovvi (Spirit) as they each compete for the new Blending. Although all very different, the five become close allies, overcoming their many fears and vulnerabilities to qualify for the competition that will determine the new Blending. Green (Dark Mirrors, Dark Dreams) has written a fine first installment to what promises to be a wonderful new fantasy series.(Nov.)
https://www.publishersweekly.com/9780380784141

I swear whoever the reviewer was just completely phoned it in for this. It reads like they started by copy/pasting from whatever synopsis Green's publisher submitted, then realized after four sentences that whoever wrote the synopsis is a terrible writer, and then reluctantly started applying their brains to try and summarize this hot mess of a book. Let's break it down sentence by sentence.

Publishers Weekly posted:

Convergence is an engaging, imaginative and often humorous story

The premise was engaging and imaginative. The execution is bland and devoid of any humor whatsoever.

Publishers Weekly posted:

narrated by Tamrissa (Fire), that documents the journey, background and trials of Lorand (Earth), Clarion (Air), Vallant (Water) and Jovvi (Spirit) as they each compete for the new Blending.

Factually accurate.

Publishers Weekly posted:

Although all very different

Hahahahaha what. If they didn't have conveniently different magical talents, it'd be hard to tell them apart.

Publishers Weekly posted:

the five become close allies

I did not see anything resembling close alliance in the first book.

Publishers Weekly posted:

overcoming their many fears and vulnerabilities

There were no fears or vulnerabilities overcome. Unless you count Rion discovering that sex is a thing. Lorand's still terrified of burnout, Vallant is still situationally claustrophobic, Tamrissa's still terrified of men, Jovvi's still ~~terrified of commitment~~ being railroaded into this stupid plot by Green.

Publishers Weekly posted:

to qualify for the competition that will determine the new Blending.

Factually accurate, but misleading. Reminder that the end of the physical volume of Book 1 cuts off in the middle of their trials for mastery.

Publishers Weekly posted:

Green (Dark Mirrors, Dark Dreams) has written a fine first installment to what promises to be a wonderful new fantasy series.(Nov.)

I have not read Dark Mirrors, Dark Dreams and I do not think I want to. But let's check it out. It seems like it is Book 3 in another 5-book series: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B078MR6XH3

quote:

Book 1: Alex is embroiled in the plots and plans of those around her, but she's determined to see her own plans work instead of theirs.
Book 2: Chalaine and Bariden try to solve a pressing mystery, but find themselves thrown deeper into a problem of their own.
Book 3: Our heroes from the first two books come together in an effort to defeat the intruders sitting on the thrones meant for our four.
Book 4: Alex and Tiran begin to straighten out their kingdom, but things begin to go worse than they really should...
Book 5: The secret enemy of our four finally has to face them

...is this the secret prequel to The Blending? :confused:

This sounds like...the Evil Four's story.

Green did not get the memo from the self-publishing thread about not designing your own covers:

Let's have a look at the sample of Dark Mirrors, Dark Dreams:

Oh god it's a shifter romance.

And oh god, it's totally-not-proto-Tamrissa married to probably-not-Vallant in a shifter romance. I'm OUT.

Anyway. Here's the blurb for Book 4:

quote:

On a world of magical adepts, the five greatest talents are fated to unite and rule. But Tamrissa, Jovi, Vallant, Rion, and Lorand have been cruelly separated, struck down by treachery at the very moment of their greatest triumph.

Scattered across a vast empire, the five heroes must escape their prisons and find each other again. For only then will they be able to re-create their Blending, that magical melding of their powers that will allow them to defeat their enemies.

Blurbs have evolved a lot since this was published. I am terrible at writing blurbs and therefore am qualified to say that this is a terrible blurb. In all fairness, ensemble cast blurbs are hard to write, because you have less words to convey multiple storylines. Except at this point, we can now group everybody together by Blendings and forget about their individuality, in which case, this is still a bad blurb. But that might be because the underlying story sucks so it could be a case of the less that is said, the better.

Consistent with the last three books, we have a foreword from Tamrissa, right before Chapter one:

quote:

I believe I�m beginning to do more than simply enjoy this writing project. When I�m very tired ordinary despair becomes intense, and then I begin to doubt that we�ll ever find a way out of the swamp our lives have become. Doubting is so much easier than hoping and believing, not to mention being completely free of disappointment. That�s probably why I do it so often�.

But be that as it may, remembering the problems we�ve already coped with and solved has helped to soothe me. For that reason I eagerly continue this tale, taking it up again at one of the worst points we encountered. How innocent we all were then, to believe that we�d protected ourselves from treachery and betrayal. We actually had no true idea of what the words meant, but we certainly did learn.

It occurs to me that it might be best if I reminded whoever reads this about where that point was, and then I�ll take up the narrative again. I know that the others were upset, but for Rion and me it seemed like the end of everything�.

Reminder that said treachery and betrayal was delivered in the form of...contaminated knockout drugs in powdered form on their underwear that were shaken magically to get them to inhale said powder. :doh:

quote:

CHAPTER ONE

Uh, wow, so this is surprising. What I thought was Chapter 49 of Book 3 is actually Chapter 1 of Book 4�it's been THAT long since I read these. I don't have my paperbacks anymore so I can't verify whether Book 3 just cut off on Delin getting mindslaved, but if it did, I would not be surprised! And if Green actually repeated the chapter in the print version in two books...well that doesn't surprise me either. :shrug:

If anyone's got a copy of the paperbacks handy, please confirm the actual last sentence of Book 3!

At any rate, I have run out of steam today to tackle more Blendingverse. The book summary posts are always a brain-killer because it forces you to see how much absolute drivel is in these books.

Sorry about the long gap between posts, between actually hitting publish on my epic fantasy novel, and a bunch of personal life stuff, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I am in between writing books at the moment (just working on the sequel), so I hope to be able to resume doing one chapter per week.

(If you do happen to want to check out my book, it's available on Amazon and you can read it for free if you have Kindle Unlimited.)

# ? Jun 10, 2022 07:10

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

Leng posted:

Green did not get the memo from the self-publishing thread about not designing your own covers:

I can�t believe this, this is too much.

Leng posted:

And if Green actually repeated the chapter in the print version in two books...well that doesn't surprise me either.

Honestly this is 100% my guess, based on Tamrissa�s ominous �let me recap for you!� introduction to this book.

# ? Jun 11, 2022 06:47

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER TWO�

The mists of confusion rolled out very slowly, like a tide receding inch by inch from the shore. The first thing I noticed was that it seemed to be mid-morning, and the second was that I sat in a chair. The chair stood in a bedchamber a good deal larger than my own, the rest of the furniture and decorations speaking clearly of how much gold had been used to accomplish the look of understated opulence. Rose and gold combined with white and green and brown�none of the colors overdone, all of them perfectly balanced � Yes, a small fortune had been spent on that room.

Having flashbacks to Book 1, when Jovvi walks into Tamrissa's house and thinks the decor is gauche.

quote:

I found myself wondering where it might be, but even as the question formed I already knew the answer: that noble I hadn�t had much time to worry about; he�d made good on his threat, and had claimed me for his own purposes.

The ability for normal motion had also begun to return to my body, which let me put a shaky hand to my head. That awful man wanted children with stronger Fire talent than his noble women could give them, and so he�d chosen me in order to get what he wanted. I had some vague memory of him mentioning something about sedatives and Puredan. Once he�d given me the Puredan, he�d said, the sedative would no longer be necessary�.

Could it be? Are we about to actually have our protagonists undergo trials that will test them? Not-spoilers: nah, because Green. Just wait until you see how Tamrissa gets out of this one.

quote:

It took two attempts, but I finally managed to get to my feet in order to walk around a bit. The fear growing inside my middle made me want to run, but simply walking straight was still something of a chore. That sedative must still be hanging on in some way, so getting rid of it was a priority. Not to mention figuring out what in the world could have happened �

I stopped not far from the wall of curtained windows, feeling the frown which creased my forehead. My last solid memory was of being part of my Blending, facing the last of the noble Blendings. It was the final competition, and we were just about to win. I knew that with as much certainty as our Blending entity had, knew we were stronger than the nobles, and then�nothing. Everything had stopped and gone black, but not for any reason easily seen.

Hilsom powder. In their underwear. Seriously. I don't understand how they didn't knock themselves out when they got changed.

quote:

�You�re a fool,� I whispered to myself, hating the way my voice shook even then. �The reason you lost is perfectly obvious: the nobles cheated. They were about to lose and they knew it, so they cheated.�

A small amount of anger flared at that, the amount so small because of the size of the fear filling me. I fought to keep the fear from turning into terror, struggled to think calmly rather than fall to pieces, but wasn�t having much success. No one had to tell me that my Blendingmates were nowhere near, that I�d been separated from them and now stood alone. I had no one to depend on but myself, and in the past myself hadn�t proven to be very reliable.

It's okay, just reach out to the power and let the literal magical plot device do all the work for you.

quote:

The ice around my heart grew a bit thicker with that realization, so I continued on toward the windows. It was possible to see bright sunshine beyond the sheer white curtains, but nothing else. If there were terrace doors, for instance, stepping outside would help�especially if it were possible to simply walk away. I needed to be away from there, even though I had no idea where I would go�.

Brushing one of the curtains aside brought immediate disappointment. Not only was that room on the second floor of its house, a very fine filligreed grill had been put over all the windows. Sunlight came in, and it was even possible to see out easily, but the grill was of metal and didn�t appear removable. No one would have been able to get through it, not even a child.

Do you not remember that you literally melted some metal and tempered it during your first test for High?

In case you want to know, it's taken 730 boring words to recap where things are at. Never mind that Chapter 1 was literally a recap chapter.

quote:

Questions of that sort kept me pacing back and forth across the room for a while. At one point, when I passed a Full-length mirror in a dark wood, intricately carved, frame, I noticed something else.

(also that typo is in the ebook)

quote:

I no longer wore the white robe we�d all had on for the competitions. Instead I wore a beautiful, obviously expensive dress of rose and gold which seemed to match the room. I had no memory of having put on that dress, so someone else must have put me in it. Another thing to add to the list causing agitation�.

Never mind the world building inconsistencies of a wealthy woman who keeps a full staff at a house that only she lives in, including a companion, dressing herself.

quote:

I had just reached the vicinity of my chair again when I heard a sound at the door. Someone seemed to be unlocking it, and it came to me that I hadn�t even tried that door. Obviously it had been locked, but what if it hadn�t been? It made me ill to realize that I seemed to be in the midst of meekly accepting what had been done � and what would be done � Then the door opened, and my illness increased.

Then the chapter continued and my boredom increased.

quote:

�Good morning, child,� that noble said, smiling as he entered and closed the door behind him. He also examined me with his eyes as he walked closer, but happily he stopped more than five feet away.

�You needn�t look so stricken,� he said with amusement as my heart thudded painfully hard. �I�ve merely stopped in to say that business matters demand my time, and therefore I won�t be returning until almost dinnertime. I�ll see you then, of course, as I mean to keep my promise. You will share the amusement I�ve arranged, and then you will be permitted to thank me for the privilege.�

�What amusement?� I forced myself to ask, again hating the way my voice trembled. �And if you�re waiting for me to thank you for anything at all, you can expect to have a very long wait ahead of you.�

�A show of spirit? How delightful.� His chuckle did seem delighted, as though we were playing some sort of game. �In another woman that show would be quite unacceptable, but in you I find it rather enchanting. As for the amusement, I refer to the dinner entertainment I�ve arranged which will revolve about your father. He means to come here tonight to demand your return, obviously mistaking me for one of the peasants like himself whom he�s accustomed to dealing with. I mean to teach him better.�

�But of course he�s just like you,� I said, the words popping out before I could stop them. �The two of you could be twins, aside from whatever meaningless title you have. And your title is meaningless, since you let it be given to you rather than insisting on working to earn it. They made you less than a whole man, and you allowed it.�

�The delight has suddenly gone out of your conversation,� he grated in return, his expression having turned hard with anger glittering behind his gaze. �With that in mind, I tell you now that you�re never to speak to me in such a way again. You, of course, will obey, as you�ve been given no choice in the matter. Just as you will never exercise your talent again.�

�What are you talking about?� I asked in a whisper, a terrible chill suddenly clutching at my insides. �You can�t keep me from using my talent, no one can�.�

Except for drugging you with hilsom powder. Or burnout. Or Puredan. Or Spirit magic orders.

quote:

�I imagine that you�re now in the process of reaching for the power, and are discovering that touching it is quite impossible,� he replied, vindictive satisfaction appearing in his dark eyes. �Denying you whatever might be left of your talent was the first thing I did after the Puredan was given you, and commanding obedience was the second. You will learn just how obedient you must be tonight after dinner, when I take full pleasure from you. And now I really must go�

I swear Green just copies and pastes this dialogue from some central template for all her male characters, varying only slightly for whether or not said male character is supposed to be a good guy or not. She doesn't bother with the "good guy" variation in her other, straight-up erotica works.

quote:

He performed a small, sardonic bow before turning and heading for the door, but I barely noticed. I stood in deep shock with my fists to my head, trying frantically to reach to the power just as I�d done all my life. The action was as natural as walking or speaking, and it felt as though I were paralyzed or struck mute! Not only couldn�t I reach the power, it wasn�t even possible to locate it!

I stumbled to the chair I�d returned to awareness in, collapsing into it as the sound of the door being locked again came as though from a great distance off. Heavy shock had wrapped me in numbness, so that even knowing I�d already been given the Puredan became no more than a secondary consideration. I�d been cut off completely from my talent, and would never be allowed to exercise it again.

That was the time I learned just how deeply into depression it was possible to fall, which was the point where the desire to die outweighed the urge to live. The monster who held me captive meant to keep me as a pitiful cripple, unable to deny his least whim and wish, unable to defend myself against his depraved intentions. To someone else, the matter stated in such a way might have seemed melodramatic; to me, it seemed the end of the world.

In all fairness, this is a pretty horrific situation for a sexual abuse survivor to be in. Yet Green's wooden prose leeches all emotional impact out of it.

quote:

I sat unmoving in the chair for a timeless time, my mind almost empty of thought, and then there was sound at the door again. A moment later it opened, and two women entered. The younger was a girl carrying a tray with covered dishes and a tea pitcher, and the elder seemed a higher-level servant. I paid very little attention to the pair as the girl set down the tray on a table and left again, but the elder woman apparently disliked my extreme distraction.

�That tray contains your lunch, which you should be quite hungry for by now,� she announced from where she stood, only two paces into the room. �Lord Lanir was quite clear concerning his wish to see you properly nourished, so you will go to the tray and eat. The command, of course, is to be considered his.�

Oh look, finally a name!

quote:

The woman�s voice had been harsh with the tone of one used to being obeyed, and I actually stirred a bit in automatic response. My parents had certainly trained me well, and the unconscious response seemed to satisfy the woman. She gave a brusque nod and turned to leave, shutting and locking the door behind herself. But by that time I�d fallen back into apathy, so even the stirring quieted. I had no appetite, and probably would never have one ever again.

Wait for it.

quote:

I sat staring and unmoving for another rather long stretch of time, but then an odd thought crept into my head. That noble, apparently named Lord Lanir, had said I�d already been given the Puredan as well as his orders. If that were so I would have no choice but to obey him, and yet there I sat, having nothing to do with the meal he wanted me to eat. That woman had clearly expected me to obey the secondhand orders, but I hadn�t. Could she simply have been mistaken to expect something like that?

Wait for it...

quote:

A moment of thought convinced me that her being mistaken was unlikely. Her noble employer must have told her what to expect, and the miserable man was certainly in a position to know. That meant I should have obeyed, and yet I hadn�t. But not obeying orders given you while you�re under the influence of Puredan is impossible �

Which, in a Green novel, means it is virtually certain.

quote:

�You fool!� I said to myself aloud, suddenly feeling extremely stupid.

Why, in the name of the Highest Aspect, would you literally say this aloud?

quote:

�When we freed ourselves from the first orders given us under Puredan, didn�t we specify that we were never to obey such orders again? None of us knew if the trick would work, but it looks like it did � !�

Hello one weird trick to railroad the plot and prevent Our Heroes from ever having to do any actual work! And if you're wondering, she uses this particular trick over and over again in all of her mind control stories.

quote:

Excitement rose in me so quickly that it probably would have knocked me over if I�d been standing. I�d forgotten all about that business of telling ourselves not to obey, and it made an enormous difference. If one of the man�s commands hadn�t worked, the other shouldn�t have worked either. I wasn�t permanently cut off from my talent, even if I hadn�t been able to detect the power at all�.

With that thought I�d automatically reached out again, the way someone newly paralyzed probably tried without thinking to stand and walk. The only difference was that this tune I detected a glimmer of something, a distant hint of the great ocean of power usually right there beyond my mental fingertips. The ocean was still there, only not quite as close as it should be and not as easily reached. But that was better than not being able to detect anything�.

This is not going anywhere, don't worry.

quote:

Worry sent me up on my feet and pacing again, the darker emotion dimming the excitement I felt. I was now in a much better position than I�d been in earlier, but what had that Lord Lanir said about my talent? Something concerning �whatever ability� I might �have left�? He obviously knew something that I didn�t, and it remained to be seen how true his beliefs were.

Spoilers: like all things Green, she sets up possible complications that will never eventuate or matter

quote:

After pacing back and forth for a while, I finally decided that I needed a cup of tea. I went to the tray and poured the cup, but didn�t so much as glance at whatever food lay under the plate covers. I might be free of needing to obey the monster who held me in capture, but without my talent I would certainly be helpless to defend myself against him. If a distant touch were all I ever found it possible to accomplish, I would still prefer to be dead.

Another stretch of time passed as I paced slowly and sipped tea, and the next change occurred so abruptly that I nearly dropped the teacup. One moment I walked and worried, and the next I was again so firmly touching the power that I staggered dizzily. Before this latest insanity began I hadn�t been able to release the power except when I fell asleep, and now I seemed to be back to that exact same state again.

Yep. All Tamrissa had to do was sit and wait. That was it. Her powers are back. She can just burn her way out of here now.

quote:

�So why wasn�t I able to reach it sooner?� I asked aloud in a murmur, feeling the strength of personality that being in touch with the power always brought. �And why did that fool think my talent would be less than it was?�

Asking that second question aloud was indulging in a bit of bravado, as I felt quite clearly that I wasn�t completely back to the way I�d been. There was still something of a � drag, of sorts, slowing down my reactions and limiting my access to the power. That didn�t necessarily mean I would remain less than I�d been, but�

�Oh, for pity�s sake,� I muttered, beginning to be really disgusted with myself. �That sedative the noble mentioned � If it was hilsom powder, it�s no wonder I�m coming back so slowly.�

Beginning obligatory infodump! About a thing that we already learned in the previous books!

quote:

I�d beard of hilsom powder, of course, but never having used it myself meant I�d known nothing of the details concerning it until Lorand had explained its main purpose and effects. Hilsom powder was used for the most part by physicians, and not just to sedate certain patients, but also to separate them from the power. Even Low talents can cause a good deal of havoc if they�re hysterical, or insane, or even just delirious from a fever. Hilsom powder denies them the use of their talent while they�re sedated, and returns their ability slowly over a period of time.

We have never, and will never, see a Low talent do any sort of harm. Low talents are considered exactly as they are named: beneath everybody else.

quote:

�So that means all I should have to do is wait,� I murmured, feeling a good deal better. �Once I�ve regained every bit of my strength, I�ll simply walk out of here. Anyone who tries to stop me will find out the hard way why Fire is the guardian talent in a Blending��

My words broke off rather abruptly, the silence caused by a sudden, deeper understanding of what I faced. Once I left that house, I not only had nowhere to go, I had no idea how I would locate the others. And I had to locate them, no other course of action was possible. They needed my help�assuming I found it possible to first help myself� and whatever I did would have to be done alone.

Will Tamrissa actually have to DO something?

Spoilers: no, because Green

quote:

Depression tried to fill me again, but the strength flowing into me from the power left no room for debilitating emotions. It was impossible to deny that I would have to act alone, but that would hardly be the first time. It might turn out to be the hardest time, but that would hold true only if I failed to make a decent plan. That, then, was my first objective: to make a plan rather than simply to act and run. Running blindly is often worse than not running at all.

Thanks be to the Highest Aspect, which conveniently provides blatant moralizing along with removing the need to struggle for personal growth at all.

quote:

So I returned to the tray with the intention of refilling my teacup, and ended up sitting down to the meal. I�d suddenly noticed that I was quite hungry after all, and it was necessary to remember that I�d been commanded to eat. Giving those people the least hint that I wasn�t quite as helpless as they imagined would be stupid, and my Blendingmates and I had already committed enough stupidities.

The books would be a whole lot more enjoyable if you guys were a little more proactively stupid in doing things, instead of just being relationship drama stupid.

quote:

By the time I finished the food�which I had to rewarm only a little

Green just conveniently forgetting that in her setting, anybody else who is Fire aspected would be able to sense Tamrissa's use of her talent. And exactly how strong she is. And like there aren't a whole bunch of Low Fire talents working in the kitchens, just like we saw in Ginge's tavern back in Book 1 in a household this size.

quote:

�more of the fog was gone from my mind and I had a tentative plan. It had come to me that the others and I needed to know what had been done to us, to make certain it was never done a second time. I was sure Lanir knew the details, and it should be possible to get him to brag about his knowledge. He might even know what had been done with the others, and if so, then I would know. I promised myself that, in the grimmest tone I could ever remember using.

I sat back in the chair with my teacup, trying not to dwell on the most disturbing part of my plan�which revolved around the fact that I couldn�t afford to leave the house until after that dinner party. I would have been happiest if I could have walked out immediately, but that Lord Lanir wasn�t here to be questioned, and I really didn�t want anyone sending guardsmen after me right away. They�d probably be sent eventually, but the longer I had to find a place to go, the better off I would be.

This is the one time I'll give one of Green's characters a pass for not immediately doing something.

quote:

So I sipped tea and wondered what had been planned for my father as a reception. Seeing him again was another thing I would have been happy to miss, especially if he brought Odrin Hallasser with him. It was difficult to believe that anyone would actually try to challenge a noble�s claim to anything, so my father had to be more than desperate. I might have pitied someone else in the same situation, but my father had brought his problems on himself. He�d deliberately made his bed without considering anyone else, and now he could lie in it without interference.

But I still would have been happier if I didn�t have to see him pull the covers up�.

�

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa regains consciousness and discovers she's been taken as concubine by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire. He drops a bunch of exposition about how he's mind-slaved her and forbidden her to use her talent ever again with Puredan. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again. One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 29 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 32 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 23 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 118 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 56 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 104 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 64 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 68 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 36 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 22 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 12, including 2 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scepe)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2)

Possible fixes:
I hate these recap chapters. I absolutely hate them. We shall talk about how I would fix it once we get through the next four of these. :doh:

# ? Jun 28, 2022 00:23

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

I admire your determination, Leng. These books are worse than I remember.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:32

paginwasrobbed: Jul 10, 2022

Hello!! I am new to this Let's Read experience, but not to The Blending. I first read it in high school in the early 00's -- and I LOVED it. My family and I were on a road trip across the southwest US, and every time I finished a book I made them find another Barnes & Noble so I could get the next one. I can't tell you why I was so hooked, but I was.

The next time I read it was a few years later, in college maybe? This was the first time I remember thinking.... is The Blending bad? Is that why I can find no other human being talking about this series? I remember specifically being irritated with the way that she decided that if one thing happened to a character, it had to happen to all five (FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE). A person from someone's backstory pops up? Well get ready, because four more backstories are about to cause trouble. One couple fighting? Oh, you bet the other two are going to fight, too. Unhinged story structure. But despite that, I still had fond memories.

CUT TO: a few weeks ago. I had to go to the emergency room for a slipped disc in my back -- something that was deeply uncomfortable but I knew was not urgent enough to get me on the fast track out of the waiting room anytime soon (I'm fine! Going to physical therapy now, on the mend). I wanted to take a book that would be distracting but extremely easy to read while I waited. As I scanned my bookshelf, I though, ah yes, old friend, Blending #1, you will do. And I have just kept going (currently on book 4)

And you guys.... I know this is not news to anyone else on this thread.... but it's BAD. It's SO SO BAD. Why does she write like this? The first book has NO PLOT. It is just a series of random events, each of which you have to see FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE times. The characters are just THE WORST. Everyone says exactly what they're thinking. They sound like a series of identical robots. The government is utterly nonfunctional. I'm deeply confused about what the nobility even is.

And DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE MAGIC SYSTEM. Green created a world where everyone has magic and yet no one seems to use their magic??? I am so loving annoyed that our main characters are all the best talents in the world but seem to have never used their magic for anything. They are just the best because they happened to luck into being born with it and also got put in the same house together (SEE USERNAME!!!). Lorand, Jovvi, and Vallant all had jobs EXTREMELY RELEVANT to their talents. It would have been so easy to say that part of the reason those three were so skilled was that they had lots of training and experience. But no -- they seem utterly ignorant of any practical uses for their skills before they get put into the house and are just the best who have ever lived for ??????? reasons. And look, if Green had WANTED to build a society where everyone had magic but use of it was forbidden by the powers that be, that would be something. But there is no indication that that's the case. ALSO if you can tell how powerful someone of the same Aspect as you is....how did the Nobles get away with the Seated Blending/Seated High (an utterly worthless distinction btw) deception for so long????? At first it seemed like maybe you can only identify the power level of someone less powerful than you, but I'm in book 4 now and everyone is just constantly recoiling from our main characters in fear when they feel their powers, so. Also it really bothers me that I'm in book 4 and no one has asked Naran what her power is. I know she's pretending to be an extremely extremely low Aspect in something, but I can't remember which one and no one has bothered to ask her. Shouldn't that be like, the first thing you learn about someone when you become acquainted?

I could go on and on. Anyway early on in my re-read I googled it to see if anyone else had ever read this series and found this read-through. I was re-reading your recaps every couple of chapters and just cracking up. My favorite thing was your meal tracker -- it is truly incredible how she has decided to never miss a meal. I recently passed you and I'm devastated!! I cannot wait to see what you have to say about all of the utter garbage coming up, both major (the Tamrissa/Vallant fight in this book is morally despicable, I hate Green for writing this) and minor (Chapter 12!! When Vallant tells Rion about getting breakfast delivered, we flash back to see Vallant getting breakfast delivered, and then the flashback runs all the way up to the present, including Vallant telling Rion about getting breakfast delivered).

I hate how everyone just paired up literally on the basis of who they met first -- Jovvi/Vallant and Tamma/Lorand makes WAY more sense to me given that Lorand has sexual hangups but is a generally sweet partner that could have been good for Tamma, while Vallant is a worldly sea captain who has probably visited his fair share of courtesans and Jovvi could have handled his nonsense better. I also agree that I wish the polyamory sex magic of it all were 100% gayer -- LET RION HAVE SEX WITH SOME DUDES. HE WOULD LIKE IT. In the hypothetical 2022 Netflix adaption of this series, he would be the lovable bi disaster who is everyone's favorite.

It's truly insane how the books describe all five (FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE) as being blonde-haired and blue-eyed and extremely identical in their hotness. I know covers are utterly meaningless, but on the covers only Jovvi and Rion are blondes, while Lorand is a brunette, Tamma is a redhead, and Vallant has black hair, all of which feels correct to me.

Anyway I bought membership to Something Awful just so that I could say all this. $10 was a small price to pay for the sheer entertainment your posts have brought me, though I wish you got to see some of it! Looking forward to being part of the conversation.

# ? Jul 10, 2022 02:45

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Liquid Communism posted:

I admire your determination, Leng. These books are worse than I remember.

paginwasrobbed posted:

I first read it in high school in the early 00's -- and I LOVED it. My family and I were on a road trip across the southwest US, and every time I finished a book I made them find another Barnes & Noble so I could get the next one. I can't tell you why I was so hooked, but I was.

...

And you guys.... I know this is not news to anyone else on this thread.... but it's BAD. It's SO SO BAD.

I'm seriously thinking of writing a letter to my high school and asking them to remove these books from the school library because of how problematic they are.

paginwasrobbed posted:

Hello!! I am new to this Let's Read experience, but not to The Blending.

...

Anyway I bought membership to Something Awful just so that I could say all this. $10 was a small price to pay for the sheer entertainment your posts have brought me, though I wish you got to see some of it! Looking forward to being part of the conversation.

Welcome! When I saw your username pop up in the thread, I laughed, because YES PAGIN WAS ROBBED. Make Pagin the protagonist. Or Adriari. Or Kambil. Or Grami. Or Meerk. Or any of the far more interesting side characters who have been wronged by Green's narrative choices.

paginwasrobbed posted:

I recently passed you and I'm devastated!! I cannot wait to see what you have to say about all of the utter garbage coming up

More posts are coming, hopefully the next one later this week! The last month or so has been a little crazy for me, but I'm hopeful that things will settle down after another week or two and I can get back into a regular posting schedule.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 00:17

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

paginwasrobbed posted:

I also agree that I wish the polyamory sex magic of it all were 100% gayer -- LET RION HAVE SEX WITH SOME DUDES. HE WOULD LIKE IT. In the hypothetical 2022 Netflix adaption of this series, he would be the lovable bi disaster who is everyone's favorite.

Honestly this is a series that could really benefit from adaptation. There�s a solid premise and some interesting stuff going on, it�s just all buried in nonsense. If you took the parts people remember fondly, you could get something great out of it.

Also your username is amazing lol (and true).

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:54

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Trigger warning for another rape scene :siren:

quote:

CHAPTER THREE

Rion sat in the chair the servant had helped him to, feeling more lightheaded than he could ever remember being. It almost felt as though he floated in midair, and his thoughts were much too vague. But that didn�t mean he had no idea about where he was or what was happening to him. That he knew all too well, and if not for whatever drug had been given him, he would have been drowning in despair.

Hello

Rion.

quote:

�Ah, good morning, my darling,� Mother�s voice came, and then she appeared to take the chair opposite his. �Did you sleep well? Did you enjoy your breakfast? � I know you�re able to reply, Clarion, and I would advise you to do so at once. I�m sure you�ve learned better than to make Mother angry.�

What is this random use of an ellipses?!

quote:

�In point of fact, I�ve learned a good deal more than that,� Rion responded, forced to speak slowly and with difficulty. �The most important lesson is that your anger is meaningless, so you may do as you please in that regard. I assure you that it will all be the same to me.�

�That, of course, will be the first fallacy you unlearn,� she countered, no longer as pleased as she�d been. �You will quickly remember how uncomfortable my anger can make you, and also, if necessary, that it can become painful. I will have my darling boy back, just as he was before he left to be ruined.�

I wish we had smarter protagonists. When Rion regained consciousness, he was drugged so bad that he couldn't speak! Hallina is so dumb that he could have pretended to be his old self in this scene and he would have gotten away with it. It's the one role that he doesn't need to playact and doesn't need any other skills or knowledge to pull off and would have been the easiest means of escape.

But no, all our protagonists are cut from the same piece of cardboard so every single one of them has to demonstrate how heroic they are by defying the petty evil nobles. :bang:

quote:

�You seem to think that ignoring the truth will make it go away,� Rion observed, wishing it were possible to throw off the lethargy holding him in place. �Your former �darling boy� has ceased to exist, and the man he has become detests you and all you stand for. If not for whatever I�ve been drugged with, I would walk from this house without a single backward glance.�

�To do what?� Mother challenged with a sound of ridicule. �You haven�t a single copper of your own, and you�re completely incapable of earning anything to support yourself. You would be reduced to begging in the streets, and everyone who saw you would laugh. Do you want to be laughed at? As a child, you hated when it happened�.�

�Do you mean when you arranged for it to happen?� Rion said, taking advantage of the way her voice had trailed off in an effort to humiliate him without words. �Yes, Mother, I have finally figured out that all my difficulties with people were caused by you. It left me no one but you to turn to for companionship, which was precisely the result you were after.�

So why are you not taking advantage of this? Here, do this:

"Oh Mother, thank you so much for saving me from those dreadful people! I was being controlled by that trollop with Spirit magic and didn't know what I was saying. I'm so sorry that I caused you such pain. Please, Mother dear, please forgive me. You still love your darling boy, don't you? Could we go out for a private lunch so I can tell you how much I love you? Oh, you're busy? Perhaps could I borrow the carriage, to go see my tailor? I can't abide wearing these peasant clothes! And of course, Mother, I'll need some gold because I'll need a whole new wardrobe. Why, thank you Mother, I love you so much."

And then once you've got the gold and the carriage, LEAVE.

quote:

�You don�t need anyone�s companionship but mine,� she grated, once again less than pleased. �But that doesn�t mean I caused those incidents. It�s painful to say this to you, my dear, but your� clumsiness and lack of personality precipitated those discomfitures. You simply weren�t able to cope, and all I did was sympathize and support you. If that�s the sort of thing you wish to blame me for, please feel free to do so. A loving mother is always willing to be of whatever help she can be?�

Why is that last sentence a question?

quote:

�I find it difficult to believe that at one time I would have been swayed by that sort of nonsense,� Rion remarked, ignoring the nobly suffering expression on her face. �This drug allows me nothing in the way of strong emotions, of course, but even beyond that your claims are patently absurd. Someone who is incapable is incapable all the time, not simply when one particular person is about. Tell me what has become of my friends.�

�I forbid you to mention low, vulgar peasants in my presence again,� she said coldly with a gesture of dismissal. �If it had been up to me, those who ruined my darling boy would have suffered a good deal more than they shall� And I will have my darling back again, even if I must use something other than persuasion to see it done.�

See if you had pretended to be your old self, you'd actually be able to get some good intel here, because every single one of the nobility love to gloat. And Hallina would've told you exactly where all the others were.

quote:

�If you�re waiting for me to ask what that something is, you�re being absurd again,� Rion said, trying to find the energy to at least think about struggling against the drug. �Your threats will never frighten me again, so you�d best resign yourself to not having your own way this time.�

�Indeed?� she said, the sleekness enough to have made Rion extremely uneasy had he been free of the drug. �But I always have my own way, unless some vindictive sneak exercises his greater power behind my back. If I�d known Embisson Ruhl was behind your having been stolen away from me � but no matter. I�ve already taken steps to even the score with him. He�ll have as much pain as I had at your loss � But we were discussing methods other than gentle persuasion for gaining what I refuse to do without.�

OMFG the clumsy exposition here.

quote:

This time Rion said nothing, principally to underscore his lack of interest. He truly felt that being dead would be preferable to remaining a prisoner for as long as his mother lived, something she needed to understand and believe.

Too little, too late, Rion. You should have said nothing from the beginning.

quote:

�The physician told me something rather interesting,� Mother continued in the purr that showed she was at her most vindictive. �The sedative you�re being given is called hilsom powder, and I was warned not to keep you on it too long. Another day or two will be enough to be certain that your Air magic talent is ruined beyond repair, but then you must be taken off it or there could be � mind damage. Are you able to appreciate what that means?�

�Mind damage,� Rion echoed, a faint chill actually touching him. �My talent�ruined? What are you saying?�

�Oh, my darling, don�t you remember?� the vile woman said with what he used to consider full concern. �Being forced out of that Blending hurt you, and I�ve decided against allowing you to make any effort to repair the harm. Your talent encouraged you to disobey me, so now it must be forfeit. There will be no discussion on that particular point, but your mind is another matter. In order to keep it as it is, you must give me your solemn oath that you�ll do as I wish. If not��

She let the words trail off suggestively again, increasing the chill that refused to let Rion banish it. If he didn�t obey her, he would be left in a state that was worse than death. But his talent, his ability! That she meant to take, and how could he face life without it?

Oh look, something interesting happening! Will it go anywhere? Not-spoilers: no! We already know that the so-called damage is non-existent, thanks to the Tamrissa chapter. I'm inclined on that basis to conclude that prolonged reliance on hilsom powder doesn't do any long-term damage either, because for the rest of this series, it's never mentioned again.

quote:

�My poor darling, I can see how terribly confused you are,� she said as she rose from her chair and came close to pat his cheek. �I�ll let you think about your answer for a short while, but only for a short while. I�ve been thinking about it as well, and I�m nearly to the point of deciding that I might actually prefer you � altered. You�d be much more like the way you once were, and I really do miss that. I sincerely hope that your decision comes before I make my own, and now I must see to some business. We�ll speak again later, darling.�

She smoothed his hair before heading out of the room, leaving Rion to sit numbly in silent shock. What she�d said � He now knew that he would not only have to give his word to obey her, but that she would also require him to beg for the opportunity to do so. He would be forced to abase himself completely, and then might even be refused! And in any event, she�d already made up her mind to maim him�

See this is the kind of villainy that would be interesting to read about! I could have gotten invested in a whole arc where Rion is forced to figure out a way to escape his mother by using his wits, and since Hallina is a Very Important Noble, there was an opportunity here to delve into all of the noble politics going on.

quote:

Some part deep inside Rion wanted to weep like a brokenhearted child,

So does everyone reading along here. We all want to weep like brokenhearted children at the waste of all the potential in these ideas.

quote:

but the rest of him had passed beyond the comfort and release of tears. His Blendingmates would be made to suffer,

Oh yes. So terrifying, this generic "suffering" that we have no idea about.

quote:

and he sat helpless and unable to help them. It was even beyond him to help himself, which brought self-hatred and even rage.

But you're drugged and can't feel any strong emotion? :confused:

quote:

The only blessing was that Naran couldn�t see him now, and that she, at least, was safe�.

Pretty sure you five just left Naran in Tamrissa's house, where none of the staff are aware of her existence thanks to Jovvi, and didn't bother coming up with a contingency plan in the event that you didn't come back from the competitions. Because you're all arrogant asses.

quote:

But what of the others?

They're generically suffering, remember?

quote:

And in the name of the Highest Aspect�what was he to do?

Spoilers for chapter 7: nothing, literally, Tamrissa's gonna come bust him out

quote:

* * *

�Oh, yes �! That�s marvelous � ! Why didn�t I ever try this before � ?�

ELLIPSES!

quote:

Vallant became aware of the woman�s voice first, and then, after a long moment, he realized what she was in the midst of. His first thought after that was of Tamrissa, and he smiled to think how far she�d come.

Vallant: "OMG YES I'M HAVING SEX!"

quote:

But then he opened his eyes, and shock tried to touch him when he saw Eltrina Razas instead of the woman he loved.

The woman you love so much that you can't even recognize that it's not her voice. Or her body. Here's canon proof that Vallant literally can't tell women apart if he doesn't have his eyes open, even if he's balls deep inside one.

quote:

�Don�t be a fool, dear boy,� the woman laughed as her body tightened around him.

Did Green suddenly become shy? I was waiting for another cringey euphemism, like maybe "her slick tunnel of horror" or "slimy cavern of terror" instead of "entrance of ultimate bliss".

quote:

�We�re through when I say we�re through, and that time hasn�t come yet. Who would have believed that a sedative used at less than full strength would produce results like this? It has something to do with lowering inhibitions, I�m told, as if I care why it works. All I care about is that it does, and that it isn�t going to stop anytime soon.�

sedatives in this world are also sex drugs? Any doctors or pharmacists in the thread who can confirm if this is actually a thing?

quote:

Vallant had been trying to move himself out from beneath her, but she�d put her hands to his shoulders to hold him still. The effort should have been a joke, but his strength had apparently disappeared somewhere completely out of reach. He hated what was being done to him, but there didn�t seem to be a way to stop it.

This is the most lacklustre effort at writing how horrible it is to be raped, ever. I can't tell if it's because this is just par for course for Green's prose or because she might potentially subscribe to the view that men can't be raped by women. Either of those could be possible, given her writing style and how much :biotruths:

she's spouted.

quote:

�You�d better start showing me something in the way of enthusiastic technique,� the female noble panted as she continued to move up and down on him. �If you don�t, I have a cozy little crate to put you in until the next time I use you. Do you really want to be put into a tiny, airless crate?�

Panic flared in Vallant, a panic intensified by the sudden memory that he�d already been put into something like that. He�d choked and tried to scream, but the drug holding him had been much stronger than it was now. He�d quickly passed out, but the next time he would be fully awake and aware �

Green's decided to make the plot-convenient situational claustrophobia a bigger deal than being raped. :fuckoff:

quote:

�That�s only a little better,� the woman said, still sounding dissatisfied. �If you can�t do better than that, I�ll probably leave you in the crate for good.�

�I�don�t understand,� Vallant hedged, fighting to sound confused rather than terrified. �What am I supposed to be doin�?�

Good man, Vallant. So far, he's been the only one who's tried using his brain instead of just yelling.

quote:

�You�re supposed to be giving me pleasure� she replied slowly and clearly, as though she spoke to an imbecile. �You do understand what pleasure is, don�t you?�

�I can�t seem to remember anythin�,� Vallant responded, now striving for an air of bewilderment. �Who are you, and what are we doin� here?�

�Oh, that�s marvelous,� the woman snarled, her expression vengefully spiteful. �He said you would probably be damaged, but he didn�t say you would be stupid! What good is my getting what I want, if you don�t know I�m getting it?�

�Am I supposed to know you?� Vallant tried, sticking to the pretense of mindlessness. �What you�re doin� feels wonderful, so just keep on doin� it. But� shouldn�t I be doin� somethin�, too?�

�Oh, this is impossible!� Eltrina snapped, suddenly moving herself off him. �Not only isn�t he suffering, now he�s giving me orders to keep pleasing him!

Well done Vallant. And I genuinely mean that. Why can't we have more moments like this?

quote:

For your information, peasant, I give the orders, I don�t take them. And I hope your frustration level rises really high, because you�re under orders not to give yourself any relief.

Eltrina is not as great a programmer as Naran is. Because if she was, she would have ordered him to "act like I am the woman you desire the most in the world".

quote:

I�ll be back later� after I speak to that fool in charge of your sedation!�

With that she stormed away, and a moment later Vallant heard a door slam. By then he had managed to turn to the side, and now braced himself somewhat erect

that's a rather unfortunate word choice in this context.

quote:

with his right elbow and arm. Moving like that had been a battle, as what he most wanted to do was lie unmoving.

Lie unmoving in a rather small bed, he couldn�t keep from noticing. In point of fact the entire room was small, and there didn�t seem to be any windows. Vallant�s heart began to beat faster, but the panic trying to flood him had to fight its way through whatever they�d drugged him with. The idea of being put in a tiny crate might bring him terror, but the drug allowed him to think of the room as �just� being small.

This DIRECTLY contradicts the reaction you had when Eltrina threatened you with the crate.

quote:

Only a few drops of sweat dotted his forehead as he lay back, no longer interested in examining his surroundings. The room appeared to be something on the order of servant�s quarters, and except for a plain wooden chest and the bed he lay on, it was completely unfurnished. Aside from the lock on the door, which he�d heard being thrown after Eltrina slammed out�.

Eltrina, I am very disappointed in you. You are a high-achieving, competent, ambitious woman with a high sex drive and lots of gold. I was expected a state-of-the-art sex dungeon. 0/5 stars, Green.

quote:

Despite the drug, Vallant had to fight for a time to keep the terror from taking him over completely. Locked in, drugged into helplessness� it was a wonder his mind hadn�t already snapped. His bare body had gone rigid as he struggled to free himself enough to move, enough to crawl to the door, at least, and try to break it down. Anything to get free, to reach the outer air where he could breathe �

So we're just gonna forget entirely about the rape now?

quote:

But moving proved to be impossible, and after a time his straining body was forced to admit it. Then he remembered what he�d been in the middle of before this insanity began, and he groaned aloud. He and the others had been taken somehow, cut down just as they were about to win the final competition. Jovvi, and Lorand, and Rion�and Tamrissa. He had no idea what had been done with the others, but that noble who had wanted Tamrissa � At this very moment he might be savaging her, and he could do nothing but lie unmoving in a bed!

quote:

That thought set Vallant to struggling even harder, but it was still no use. The sweat now poured down his face and covered his body, but the drug continued to resist being bested. He was trapped and helpless�and had nothing to look forward to but Eltrina�s return and more humiliation. But despite all that he had to stay sane � and he didn�t know if he could manage it�.

Okay, let me get this straight.

Tamrissa being raped by Vallant = hot sex between True Lovers
Tamrissa being raped by another guy = grounds for justified murder
Vallant being raped by Eltrina = just humiliation

:wtf:

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 47 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 30 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 32 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 27 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 118 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 56 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 107 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 66 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 68 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 36 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 22 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 13, including 3 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 1 in Book 4, which is a rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)

Possible fixes:
Oh thank goodness, that's all the recap chapters. I forgot that the Rion/Vallant recaps got shoved into a single chapter, and Jovvi/Lorand are out of commission until past the midpoint of the book. It's kind of ridiculous that the FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE thing is so overdone that I just assume anytime we read one chapter, we've got another four of the same by default.

Alright, let's talk about how to fix this hot mess. Structural elements first:

I think the answer, like most answers to fixing this series, is PICK ONE POV. The viable options are: Tamrissa, Rion, Vallant and spoilers for Book 4 Chapter 6 Naran:

Tamrissa would be the bog standard fantasy default�she's the main protagonist, she's the author self-insert, she's got the showiest, most aggressive aspect, and she's also the only one who's not still drugged. A boring but okay option.
Rion would be more interesting, because we're finally getting an interesting dynamic with his adoptive mother and he's been placed in her power, something he's been dreading for the last three books. If I were writing this, I'd pick Rion. Alas, my Let's Rewrite has diverged too much from canon already, so even if I ever get to writing the sequel, we would not have this dynamic. Oh well. If anyone wants to post fanfic of this in the thread, go for your life.
Vallant isn't a good choice. Not only is he still drugged, when the drug wears off, he has to deal with his plot-convenient claustrophobia, and if we're going to try and make it a decent book, the claustrophobia would actually be crippling. Also Eltrina's not gonna tell him anything voluntarily, even in a post-coital conversation, and he doesn't have Spirit magic, so unless he's willing to threaten and follow through on torture (which he isn't, because he is a Nice Guy and a Gentleman), he doesn't have any leverage.
Naran would be the left field option, but I kind of like it. By now, we all know that there is Something Significant about this character so switching to this POV and getting a whole different take on things would be super interesting. That said, writing this POV would be tricky, if we want to stick with Green's choice of keeping the Book 5 spoilers Sight magic as a series end reveal. You'd need to be a talented writer to pull it off.

The high level plot structure, in terms of what's promised, is actually not bad:

Promise: Our Heroes have been separated and must find a way to reunite
Progress:
- discover clues as to what's happened to everybody
- rescue person 1
- rescue person 2
- rescue person 3
- rescue person 4
- rescue person 5
Payoff: Our Heroes are reunited and are ready to seek vengeance on their enemies

This is a perfectly good plot structure! It's basically a fetch quest, but for people! There's so much tension already built in and so many ways in which you can raise the stakes! Does Green use this structure to its full potential?

Of course not! This is a Green novel, what were you thinking.

As to all the rape and sexual violence. I don't have a problem with rape and sexual violence being explored in fiction, as long as it's done with thought. You could make the argument that if you're writing adult fantasy with an explicit sex mechanic in your magic system AND two magical abilities that can negate consent AND mind control drugs AND a rigid caste system AND a corrupt government AND the overall theme of your books is to do with control, you are almost obligated to address rape and sexual violence because there is no way it doesn't exist and isn't prevalent in this kind of setting.

But FFS, don't just write a scene where Vallant is BEING RAPED and trivialize it like this. Especially when it's going to be a point of contention in the stupid ongoing Valissa relationship drama.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 10:47

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

A quick tangentially on-topic self promo post! So I mentioned earlier in the thread that I wrote and published a book:

Leng posted:

If you're still here three books into this hate-read, I'm fairly confident in promising that you'll enjoy my writing more than hers, especially if you've found my ideas on how I would rewrite Green's stuff interesting and you're curious to see whether I can back up my armchair critiques with my own writing.

And if you've ever been frustrated with how Green does NOTHING interesting with Spirit magic or spoilers for Book 5 of the Blendingverse Sight magic, then you might find my take on it more intriguing.

Link: https://books2read.com/petition

Similarities to the Blendingverse:

Everyone has magic!
There is a character who has a thing for baths
There is an actual ~~scene~~ paragraph about a character taking a bath
Okay, there might be quite a few paragraphs about baths. I guess something of Green's bath obsession snuck into my writing. I did totally facepalm when I realized what I was writing. Sorry.
There are uppity "House-born" who look down upon the "common-born"
The main plot is also a job interview disguised as a tournament
There is a murder mystery
There is sex
There is violence
There are at least two scenes with the viewpoint character obsessing over the food
We open with a prologue

Differences to the Blendingverse:

Everyone has Spirit magic
Spirit magic is more than just turning people into mind slaves
Everyone is also theoretically capable of Blendingverse Book 5 spoilers Sight magic
The bath-related paragraphs are not repetitive!
The job interview is not for the throne; it's just a normal job interview, albeit for a very prestigious, lucrative job that grants you pseudo-nobility as a perk
There is a satisfying resolution to the murder mystery
The sex scene is not icky
The violence is more visceral
The conversations that happen over meals aren't inane
The prologue isn't a pseudo history textbook
There's one primary viewpoint character, and two viewpoint characters total

Here are some goon endorsements from the main SFF and KU threads:

Beefeater1980 posted:

Re Petition: just downloaded this and prologue and ch1 are strong; I’m interested enough to read the rest.

Which lifts it above 90% of KU fiction.

E: enjoying the hunter rehearsing her resumé like a jaded millenial.

ulmont posted:

Now that I finished this, let me come back to say that I enjoyed this book and look forward to the sequel.

It's on sale for Amazon Prime Day until the end of July 14 for $1.99 USD (or approx for non-US folks) and free to read if you have Kindle Unlimited, if you happen to be in the mood for something vaguely similar to the Blendingverse but not terrible.

Edit: I should thank Green, because this book would not exist if not for the Blendingverse. If The Blending had actually been decent, I wouldn't have gotten mad enough to attempt rewriting it, and if I hadn't done the rewrite, I wouldn't have had the guts to attempt writing my own original fiction.

So uh, thank you Sharon Green. For giving me both the realization that truly anyone can be a published author and the motivation to write good books.

Leng fucked around with this message at 12:17 on Jul 11, 2022

# ? Jul 11, 2022 11:28

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER FOUR�

�You seem to be adjusting quite nicely,� the older woman said as she gave my gown a critical examination. �You look lovely, and Lord Lanir will be very pleased.�

�Has he returned yet?� I asked as casually as possible, keeping my gaze on the mirror and my reflection. �He stopped by before he left, to say that he would be late getting back.�

�It so happens he�s dressing,� she replied after something of a hesitation. �I realize that with tonight�s dinner being rather special you have reason to ask, but in future such curiosity will not be received at all well. Lord Lanir is not here for your convenience, you are here for his.�

�How good of you to explain things to me so clearly,� I responded in a murmur, struggling to hold my temper. �You can be sure I won�t ask that same question again.�

This is the closest thing to a decent exchange of dialogue in these books. Possibly one of the best examples! Nobody is lecturing, everybody's got lines that are in character, you can even distinguish who the speakers are without the dialogue tags, and the dialogue tags themselves are actually actions that convey character and plot information instead of telling us what emotion the characters are feeling.

quote:

�It�s pleasant to see a young girl showing proper manners,� the woman replied in her stiff, formal way, obviously missing the dryness I hadn�t been able to keep out of my tone.

Annnnd now we're going to resume normal Green standards of dialogue.

quote:

�Be sure not to muss yourself while waiting to be called to dinner. Best, I think, would be to stand in the middle of the room.�

She added a nod to that bit of advice as though to underscore it, and then turned and left.

Annnnnnd ruin an otherwise great dialogue line with some obligatory hammer in face.

quote:

The maid who had helped me dress went with her, so I was finally able to turn away from the mirror. I�d needed the help of my reflection to keep my expression properly neutral, especially after seeing the gown which had been chosen for me. All pink-and-white lace with flounces, a costume obviously designed for a very young girl. I looked like a child in it, a helpless, innocent child.

Disappointed we didn't get another porno self-description emphasizing how beautiful Tamrissa is.

quote:

Anger growled high inside me again, but the worry I�d been fencing with for hours had no trouble overwhelming it. As soon as my relief at being able to touch the power again faded just a little, I�d remembered I wasn�t able to release that touch if I cared to. That meant I could be found out at any time by someone with Fire magic, even though that someone would also have to be touching the power. Surely there were any number of people who made a practice of touching the power on a regular basis �

Obligatory Green realization of her plothole!

quote:

As I sat down in a chair, I remembered ruefully how long I�d spent that afternoon, waiting to be found out. My usual self-confidence while touching the power had been badly shaken, and it only reasserted itself after time had passed and no one had come bursting in to shout and point a finger. It became clear that either no one in the house with Fire magic was touching the power, or, more likely, those touching it were Low talents and too far away to detect me.

I reached for the teacup I�d left standing on the small table next to the chair, sipping the cold tea without making any effort to rewarm it. It had occurred to me that my touching the power might be overlooked by Low talents, but actually using my ability would certainly make it another story. Drinking cold tea was a much more pleasant option� at least until Lanir came to get me. He was the Seated High in Fire magic; surely he would be able to tell that I touched the power�.

I finished the tea in a gulp and replaced the cup, having already made up my mind about what I would do if Lanir did find out. I�d have to forget about questioning him, of course, but I couldn�t afford to let him interfere with my escape. He would have the chance to give up all claim to me and to find something to convince me that he spoke the truth, or he would find himself facing me in challenge. If he were at all like the Seated High in Earth magic, he would probably stand no chance against me. I believed that, I really did, but the wait and the uncertainty about what would happen had been combining to fray my nerves to shreds.

Time began to drag again the way it had done that afternoon, but I refused to let myself get up and pace. Nervous energy had been flowing into me as the hilsom powder lost more and more of its hold, and I�d expended quite a bit of that energy in pacing. Now, though, when I might soon need every scrap of strength I could find � Pacing was no longer a good idea, so I simply sat and fretted.

382 words that are completely unnecessary.

quote:

When the sound of the door being unlocked came, it was something of a surprise. I�d spent so long getting myself used to the idea of waiting � When the time for the need was abruptly over, I found myself on my feet without remembering the process of standing. If this was Lanir, things could start happening at any moment. The door opened and it was the noble, and�

Since Green said that things could start happening at any moment, we all know that absolutely nothing is going to happen.

quote:

�My dear child, how very lovely you look,� he said, taking only a single step into the room, his gaze moving slowly over me. �I will be the envy of all my friends, though only a few of them are invited to dine with us tonight. Those few will have their own lovely companions with them rather than their wives, of course, to round out the company in a proper way. My own lady wife is currently at one of our country houses, so you need have no fear of being forced to endure an embarrassing confrontation. Come, let us repair to the dining room.�

He held out his hand to me, and if I�d never seen stark desire in a man�s eyes before, I was certainly seeing it now. For my own part I felt weak with relief, as the man was completely closed to the power. Just the way all those people at the palace had been, including the Fire magic member of the Seated Blending. Was this � ignoring of one�s talent something all nobles did for a particular reason? I spent only an instant wondering, and then I began to walk toward my � host.

Two ellipses in a row in successive sentences. The more I read, the deeper my appreciation for well-crafted prose. Yesterday, I was looking in a self-promo thread for authors and one of the blurbs posted appealed to me. I clicked through to the sample chapters and immediately noped out of there because of the prose�every single sentence was deliberately constructed to make use of obvious alliteration. It was pretty much the only technique the author used. I managed to read one and a half pages before my brain started shutting down on a paragraph that had twelve words beginning with the letter "p" stuffed into three sentences.

quote:

By the time we reached the dining room, I�d regained control of myself. The house Lanir led me through was enormous, at least three times the size of mine by the look of all the rooms we passed. Lanir chatted on and on, happily telling me what a wonderful life I would have with him. I would be required to remain in that house at all times, of course, but would not be disturbed by anyone�even the children I bore. The infants would be given over into the care of wet nurses, and would be housed elsewhere.

This is a horrific future being described. Why are we not getting Tamrissa's internals on this?

quote:

�And the children will certainly have no rivals for my attention,� he continued as we walked down a rather long hall on the ground floor. �After years of marriage my wife has proven barren, and my few companions were unable to produce offspring of more than Middle talent. None of the women was a High herself, of course, which certainly made the difference.�

�What if the difference was you rather than them?� I asked in my most innocent tone, paying more attention to the artwork on the walls than to the man whose arm my hand rested on. �We both know I�m a High, but from the little I�ve seen, there�s no such guarantee about you.�

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him part his lips, probably to remind me what his position was. A flash of anger had caused the urge, but both anger and urge died together when he realized I might be right. He hadn�t earned his marvelous position, and denying that particular truth would be useless.

Or this?!

quote:

�We�ll be taking our meal in the small dining room,� he said after a moment instead, obviously trying to maintain his good mood. �Afterward we�ll socialize a short while just to be polite, but then we�ll send our guests home and retire to your bedchamber. I�m quite looking forward to beginning the first of our � association.�

He touched my hand briefly with that, the expression in his eyes matching the words, but this time I held my tongue. Only after I�d baited him had it come to me that his anger might have made him reach for the power, which meant I�d been a fool to say what I had. I really did need to learn to watch my words, at least while in the position of being surrounded by enemies.

Can we please, for the love of the Highest Aspect, have these moments of internal reflection actually placed in the right place in the prose to go with the action happening in the scene :bang:

quote:

A short way down the hall there were double doors standing open, and as we approached I could hear music being played and voices in conversation rising slightly above the music.

This is 31 words of bad description. Let me rewrite it in 30 seconds: "Gentle music drifted through the opened double doors ahead of us. A minuet, with a lilting, triple-beat melody that urged my feet to dance across the remainder of the hallway. But the notes sounded tentative, as if the players dared not disturb the boisterous male voices in their conversation."

quote:

When we turned into the room, I learned Lanir�s definition of a �small� dining room: a table to the right, large enough to seat twelve people comfortably; a beautifully decorated sitting area to the left, with enough couches and chairs to accommodate more than twelve; and a dais at the back of the room, holding a six-piece orchestra. When we appeared, the people standing about talking�five men and five � girls rather than women�all turned from their conversation to us.

�Well, it�s about time,� one of the men announced with a sly smile, his greasy gaze moving over me. �I can sec what kept you, Lanir, but canapes are no substitute for an actual meal.�

�You could do with an interest beyond eating, Fasher,� Lanir replied with a smug expression, pointing to the man�s protruding belly. �If you keep putting things down your throat, you�ll soon be unable to get close enough to a table to reach the food.�

I am disappointed that an erotica author did not go for the dirty innuendo right there.

quote:

Everyone including the man Fasher laughed at that, all but one young girl who stared at me wide-eyed instead. She was a pretty little thing, but more importantly she was someone with a Low talent in Fire magic�who also happened to be touching the power. Her hand reached out tentatively to the man she stood beside, probably to tell him about what she could feel of my strength, so I quickly locked eyes with her and shook my head slightly. Her hand immediately returned to her side as she obeyed my silent command to say nothing, but that incident added itself to my list of worries. She�d agreed to be silent, but how long would that agreement last?

I have so many questions. Why was this girl touching the power? There's no good reason for her to be doing so, especially when everything we've seen points to the general population, including the nobility, are so strongly conditioned against touching the power that they don't do it even when they would be expected to.

quote:

�I�m told that it was business rather than your lovely little toy which kept you,� another of the men said to Lanir as the man beside me began to lead the group toward the beautifully set table. �Everyone seems to be in a dither about something, but no one is willing to discuss details.�

�At the moment there�s only one topic causing a dither, and you should know perfectly well what it is,� Lanir replied, his good mood fading again. �Everything was arranged for Adriari�s group to take over, and now we�re faced with those five. Debate and argument are raging like runaway forest fires, with no one able to bring Water magic to bear to quiet any of it.�

�What could there possibly be to argue about?� a third man asked as we reached the table and Lanir began to seat me to his left. �If they won the competitions�and they did�then they have to be Seated.�

�You�ve never met Advisor Zolind, have you, Wirn?� Lanir replied as he moved a step to the chair at the head of the table and sat. �The man has more power than any other ten people you might name, and the rumor is that he absolutely opposes Seating this particular new Five. I say it�s a rumor, because a full Advisory meeting has been called for tomorrow. It would have been held sooner, but two of the Advisors are away and won�t be able to return until then. Zolind means to voice his opinions at that meeting, and then we�ll have fact rather than rumor.�

�How often has Advisor Zolind�s opinion failed to find support with the others?� the fat Lord Fasher asked, his own amusement having disappeared. �It would be most annoying to have to wait through another round of competitions.�

�If the rumors are true, that�s probably what we have ahead of us,� Lanir replied, reaching for the wineglass a servant had just filled. �I�m told that Zolind�s wishes haven�t been argued with in fifteen years, so he�s unlikely to be refused this time. That, of course, is the basis for all the argument.

At least Green tried to disguise the convenient recap info dumping as butler/maid dialogue this time. There's no reason why any of these people, who are supposedly very powerful Lords, would be talking like this.

quote:

Those who had made � accommodations with Adriari�s group want the chance to do the same with another picked group, while those, like you, who dislike the interruption in business or the cost of another round of competitions, want the annoyance at an end.�

�Why doesn�t that first group simply make the same arrangements with the new Five?� Wirn asked, having taken the chair at the foot of the table, which unbalanced the seating. �It shouldn�t be all that difficult to do it a second time.�

�It�s a matter of changed circumstance rather than difficulty,� a third man put in, someone who had remained silent until now. �Adriari�s group was chosen, which made them reasonably amenable. This new group can claim actually to have won, and only a very few people can prove otherwise. Their standing is, therefore, substantially higher, so buying their cooperation will probably be a good deal more expensive.�

�Not to mention who the five people are,� Lanir added with a nod of agreement. �Their fathers are each powerful and respected men, but for the most part the children are either throwaways or potentially too dangerous. If your child is a High talent, he or she had better be fully capable and completely under your control. If he or she isn�t, it�s safer to dispose of that child as quickly as possible.�

The other men agreed with that, and began to discuss various people who had wisely rid themselves of potentially dangerous or embarrassing children. Lanir, having started the discussion, joined in with full enthusiasm while beginning on the soup we were all being served. I spent a brief moment wondering if he were actually as stupid as he seemed, then came to the conclusion that he was simply one of those who were completely insensitive. I was a lowborn woman who had no choice but to do exactly as he wished; why should he care if I realized that he meant either to enslave or dispose of any High talented children I might give him?

Hello theme.

quote:

The creamed soup was excellent, which helped me do something with my mouth other than telling off the fool of a man to my right. It would have been different if I�d actually had to have the man�s children, of course, but since I would be leaving that place in just a few hours, it wasn�t difficult to keep quiet. Or not too difficult. Now that I knew one of the reasons the nobility had so few High talents, it would have been pleasant to point out the stupidity.

It would have been different if your author would let you do things that are consistent with your character.

quote:

In another group my remaining silent might have been noticed, but in that one I simply blended in. None of the other women said even a single word, and the men ignored them as though they weren�t there. Women in that group were obviously no more than decorations, no more than the �toys� one of the men had referred to earlier. That arrangement annoyed me as well, but it was something I didn�t want to do something about.

Because you're a horrible human being. Or at least, that's what I assume, since we have no internal narration of Tamrissa's angst at the other women in the same plight.

quote:

The girl with the Low talent in Fire magic �

That girl had been having trouble controlling her agitation as she was seated to Wirn�s left. On her right was another of the women, and Wirn himself was too involved in the first discussion to be interrupted. That meant she had to keep her discovery to herself, stirring in her chair and looking everywhere but in my direction.

And then the discussion about children began, and a frown appeared on her face. She listened to what was being said, the frown changing slowly to a look of painful despair, and after a moment I could see the glint of tears in her eyes. I had no idea what it was that actually disturbed her, but could only hope that it wasn�t what had suddenly come to me: the possibility that she�d already given Wirn at least one child. If that were the case, she now knew what that child�s fate would be�.

Suddenly the girl looked up, and for the first time met my gaze. There were still tears visible in her eyes, but she forced a faint smile and shook her head in a deliberate way, clearly sending me a message. She had changed her mind about speaking to Wirn of her discovery, and might even have been wishing me well. She could have had no idea what I planned, of course, and was probably only hoping that I meant to use my strength in some way. Rather than pretending ignorance and innocence, I smiled and nodded before giving my attention back to the food. That poor girl had deserved to be given some sort of positive sign�.

Because Tamrissa will never give this specific girl a second thought, ever again.

quote:

The topic of conversation shifted again with the next course, which was a deliciously sweet pate with shredded radishes. Talk of new houses and the newest �in� places to build them had barely been started, when a servant appeared at Lanir�s side. Lanir ignored him while completing a remark, and only then turned his head to the servant and nodded.

�There is a person here to see you, my lord,� the servant announced with frigid dignity. �He claims to have an appointment, which is the only reason I agreed to disturb you. Shall I have him thrown out, or simply put somewhere to await your pleasure?�

�Neither,� Lanir replied with sudden amusement. �I�d nearly forgotten he was coming, and how much I�d been looking forward to his appearance. Show him in, Bowes.�

�At once, my lord,� the servant acknowledged with a bow, then disappeared as silently as he�d arrived. I sat there quietly finishing my pate, pretending I didn�t know who the caller was. It seemed my father had arrived, and I couldn�t help thinking how well he would have fit into that group.

Canapes and now pate. Have I erred? Are we meant to be in an even more vague French-inspired setting instead of fantasy regency?

quote:

Lanir went back to his conversation about houses, a secret smile curving his lips. Whatever preparation he�d made for my father�s visit were obviously going to remain his secret for a while, which suited me just as well. With the choice between Lanir and my father, I couldn�t decide whose side to be on. I took a hot, buttered roll and bit into it, and with the last bite the servant Bowes reappeared, leading the visitor.

�Gentles, the merchant Storn Torgar,� Bowes announced, stressing the word merchant as though it were something low and slimy and obscenely amusing. My father, used to being looked up to and admired, colored at the slur and ground his teeth a bit, but by the time he moved past the servant, he�d forced a charming smile onto his face.

Again, Storn Torgar is supposed to be a highly experienced and very savvy business person.

quote:

�Lord Lanir, how good of you to receive me,� he offered, his attitude saying he spoke to a near equal.

A very savvy business person in an Empire which is run by the nobility.

quote:

�I apologize for interrupting your dinner, but the matter is rather urgent. As soon as we�re in agreement, I�ll be on my way again.�

�Did I remember to tell you all that I had an amusement planned for us tonight?� Lanir said to his friends while completely ignoring his caller. �This peasant is the father of my lovely companion here�do you see the resemblance, with both of them being blond?�and he�s had the nerve to challenge my claim to her. He said he�s willing to negotiate for her return, so shall we ask what his offer is?�

�By all means,� Wirn called with a laugh from the other end of the table. �I haven�t had a really good laugh in quite some time.�

�Yes, let�s hear it,� the fat-bellied Fasher agreed while he other three men made similar comments. �The posturing of peasants has always been good for a chuckle.�

Stop. Writing. Characters. Like. This.

quote:

�Do you hear that, Torgar?� Lanir said to my father, who had gone absolutely expressionless. �They�re all on your side, so let�s hear what sort of offer you�re prepared to make.�

�I expected to discuss the matter in private, just between gentlemen,� my father replied, an edge to the voice he held completely without inflection.

you can't just use "gentlemen" in the modern sense of the word when you're in faux regency fantasy.

quote:

�As you seem to prefer a public negotiation instead, I can do nothing other than oblige you. The girl is my daughter so my claim to her supersedes yours, but I�m prepared to be reasonable. A thousand gold dins if I walk out of here with her right now.�

If only we had any context for how much this is. How much does Jovvi have socked away in Tamrissa's house? How much would Tamrissa's house fetch on the open market? We have no idea!

quote:

I couldn�t keep from blinking at that, obviously having had no real idea just how desperate my father was to get me back. I�d noticed that Odrin Hallasser hadn�t come with him, which wasn�t a good sign where my father was concerned. The horrible beast of a man must have ordered my father to retrieve me or else � For the first time I wondered what that �or else� might entail.

I don't know how I am supposed to feel as a reader after reading this paragraph. Is it trying to convey something about Odrin, Storn, or Tamrissa? A good paragraph would do all three, but this does nothing.

quote:

�Really, my good man, how can you say that?� Lank drawled as his friends laughed. �The young lady hasn�t even finished her dinner as yet. Do you really expect me to turn her out hungry?�

�All right, two thousand!� my father snapped, coloring again at the laughter. In his embarrassment he�d glanced at me where I sat unspeaking, the expression in his eyes suggesting that he expected to see me laughing as well. Under other circumstances I might have done just that, but having two men discuss the price for my purchase was something I found less than amusing.

This is a highly experienced and very savvy business person who has supposedly built his own wealth through powerful networking and profitable, highly leveraged, borderline illegal business deals.

quote:

�Well, now we have an offer of two thousand,� Lanir said, again speaking mostly to his friends. �He really seems to dislike the idea of her having dinner, but I find myself curious. Tell me, peasant: just how high are you prepared to go in order to spirit her away from my beard? Stop playing the merchant for a moment, and pretend to be a man. What is the absolutely highest figure you�re prepared to offer?�

�You�re right, we�re wasting time here,� my father returned tightly, his fair skin still flushed. �I tried to save us both the trouble of a court appearance and a public scandal, but some people aren�t capable of understanding when they�re done a favor. My final offer is five thousand gold dins. If that figure doesn�t suit you, we can continue this discussion before a panel of judges.�

Now I'm pretty sure Green has no idea how high stakes negotiations work. And I do not buy that Storn, who must have negotiated hundreds of similar deals, is going to fumble one like this.

quote:

�Oooo, now the peasant is threatening me,� Lanir said, his bad pretense of being frightened causing his friends to laugh even harder. �He offers a sum that only a child would find impressive, then expects me to believe that any court in this city would find in his favor rather than in mine. You�re obviously a fool, peasant, so I really ought to be gentle with you. You�ve named your highest price, but haven�t yet asked me to name one. Would you like to try that before you go storming off to court?�

�It�s fairly obvious I�m still wasting my time, but why don�t you go ahead and name your price. That way I�ll get some amusement out of this as well.�

My father had spoken tightly, with repressed anger, but he probably couldn�t have refused to listen even if he�d wanted to. Not only did he have the awareness of Odrin Hallasser riding him, refusing to listen to an offer went counter to everything he stood for.

An actually good idea for characterization, killed in the delivery.

quote:

�If it�s amusement you�re looking for, peasant, my offer should suit you perfectly,� Lanir said, a glitter of cruel anticipation in his eyes. �In order for me to even consider what you�re asking, you must first put forth your proposal in the proper manner. If you�ll turn about, you�ll see a box on that table to the right of the door. Go and put on what you find inside the box, and then we�ll be able to continue this discussion.�

My father hesitated visibly, only glancing at the box rather than going straight to it. He also glanced at me where I sat turned sideways on my chair, but I was just as much in the dark as he. I hadn�t even noticed that box, the sort which clothing often came in, so I had no idea what might be in it.

Someone else might have refused even to look, but it was a measure of my father�s desperation that the end of his hesitation found him walking over to the box. It took only a moment to open it, and then he threw away the top and pulled out the box�s contents to shake the item in an angry fist.

�The motley of a fool!� he snarled, so livid he was nearly beside himself. �And you expect me to put this on?�

�But of course,� Lanir agreed blandly while everyone else laughed uproariously. �Didn�t I say you were a fool? I simply want you to look like what you certainly are. You may change in the next room, and then you�re to return.�

Despite his anger, my father hesitated for the second time. The pressure on him to get me back was obviously enormous, otherwise he never would have thought twice about storming out. It was clear he found himself in the midst of actually considering going along with what he�d been told to do, but then his years of experience in dealing with people came to his rescue.

Why didn't this experience show up before?

quote:

�You said you would �consider listening� if I did things your way,� he remembered aloud, speaking to a patiently waiting Lanir. �Nothing about accepting my offer, just an agreement to consider it. I really would be a fool if I went along with this, so you can save this outfit for yourself. Specifically for when you find out that there are others with influence in the courts beside yourself.�

...THIS is what Green thinks years of experience looks like?

:ughh:

quote:

He threw the motley away without watching to see where it would land, and simply stalked out of the room. Lanir�s friends were all still laughing, their companions dutifully giggling along with them, but Lanir shook his head with a sigh.

�I�m disappointed,� he complained to everyone in general, all but pouting. �I expected him to actually get into that outfit before he realized the truth, but he found me out. Now I�ll have to find someone else to wear it. Maybe that friend of his, the one who didn�t come with him this time.�

�You�ve probably been saved some effort, Lanir,� Wirn consoled his friend while I tried to picture Odrin Hallasser wearing motley.

I'm so confused about the tone of this whole scene. Is Tamrissa feeling sympathy for her father, or is she delighting in his suffering at the hands of a bigger bully? This is a good opportunity to have an important character moment, yet we are getting nothing.

quote:

�If he�d put that thing on and only then found out you had no intention of giving the girl up, he might have done something foolish like trying to attack you. From the way he behaved, I doubt he knows who you are.�

�But he�ll find out if he tries to go to court,� Lanir responded happily as he reached for a roll. �He�ll discover that no one is allowed to institute suit against me, not as long as I remain Seated High. Do you think he�ll decide to wait until the next challenge, to see if I�m unSeated?�

General laughter greeted that question, showing they all knew that the outcome of challenges was carefully arranged in advance.

Here, have a pointed reminder in case you forgot, since we've had to read so many terrible chapters since the last reminder.

quote:

Servants reappeared with steaming dishes holding the next course, so once again I was helped to keep from commenting. Assuming Lanir turned out to be reasonable later and I was able to leave without interference, I intended to see if it was possible to return at the time of the next challenge. The man deserved to lose his place publicly, and being defeated by a woman would add insult to injury.

You're devoting more energy to revenge fantasies about coming back to put this creep in his place instead of trying to rescue the "poor girl"?

quote:

I spent the rest of the meal dreaming about proper revenge, and once we retired to the sitting area I went back to that very pleasant pastime.

Seriously, someone write an AU fic where Tamrissa is the villain.

quote:

Lanir had one of the servants put on the discarded motley, and then he and his friends made the man dance around the way court fools were supposed to have done when there were kings and their courts running the world. Men who were very proficient in their respective aspect were called knights, which is where the phrase, �knight in shining aspect� comes from. I�m not sure how �shining� they were, but today�s Highs are supposed to be their equivalent.

is this random bit of world building exposition doing here? :confused:

Also "knight in shining aspect" is the lamest attempt at adapting the real world expression.

quote:

After the lordly nobles finished with their amusement, Lanir gave his friends a final glass of wine and then sent them home.

I'm imagining Lanir handing out wine glasses like parents hand out party bags/favors at a kids' birthday party once everybody's done with cake.

quote:

None of them seemed surprised at being all but thrown out, nor were they insulted. They left laughing and joking with one another, and then Lanir turned to me.

�Your behavior tonight was absolute perfection,� he said, holding out his arm to me. �The time has now come for the part I�ve really been waiting for, so let�s hurry back to your apartment.�

I rose from the chair I�d been sitting in and went to take his arm, ignoring the part of me that wanted to tremble with dread. I�d have no trouble handling whatever came next, I knew I would have no trouble � I hoped �

STOP IT.

There is no suspense whatsoever. We've been reminded THREE TIMES in this chapter that Lanir isn't as strong as Tamrissa. :bang:

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back. During dinner, she is forced to experience an Obvious Plot Recap as well as her father's own humiliation from Lord Lanir.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 50 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 31 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 33 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 27 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 119 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 56 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 34 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 114 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 67 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 68 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 36 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 22 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 13, including 3 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 1 in Book 4, which is a rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)

Possible fixes:
I don't understand how Green keeps setting up perfectly reasonable structures and screwing up the execution. The issues here are all at the line level:

Somehow, we're in a first person POV and we're so far removed from Tamrissa's thoughts and emotions that you could change everything to an omniscient narrator and wouldn't lose anything
Throw in way more world building and speculation about the meeting Zolind has called into the dinner conversation and ratchet up the level of discussion a few notches and this is a perfect scene to set up the politicking that is supposed to happen in the next two books
Fix the conversation between Lanir and Storn so it actually comes across as two men who are used to coming out on top in win/lose negotiations instead of a little kid stomping his foot at a big bully.

Because I've been so stuck on writing my sequel, I've been doing what is probably my eleventh reread of The Empire Trilogy by Raymond E. Feist and Janny Wurts. It's generally accepted as a good example of political intrigue in fantasy. I haven't reread it in a number of years and it's been interesting to read it again now that I'm specifically looking at how the book is structured, instead of just enjoying the ride as a reader.

What's striking is that the setup is not really much more complicated than the world building in the Blendingverse. But geez, what a difference having a competent author in charge of writing the prose makes.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 11:27

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

Leng posted:

I'm so confused about the tone of this whole scene. Is Tamrissa feeling sympathy for her father, or is she delighting in his suffering at the hands of a bigger bully? This is a good opportunity to have an important character moment, yet we are getting nothing.

Me too.

Tamrissa never misses a chance to get up on a high horse and tell us how it is, how is that absent in this scene? This is a whole chapter I actually want her opinions on!

# ? Jul 21, 2022 00:33

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER FIVE

Kambil Arstin walked into the sitting room of the residence where the others had already gathered, looking around with a great deal of satisfaction. Bron, Homin, and Selendi sat together chatting, and Delin simply sat by himself and stared. Delin would have been devastated to know how ... vacant he looked, but Kambil knew better than the others that Delin was no longer being allowed to know anything. His unthinking body wasn�t even aware of where it was, let alone that it was only permitted to follow orders, not to consider them.

Hello, lobotomized Delin. The only thing more overpowered than Earth magic is Spirit magic...or at least, a High in Spirit magic.

I am endlessly frustrated by the world building and plot holes in this setup. There could have been a fascinating storyline behind the invention of Puredan as a protective measure/counteroffensive for non-Spirit magic talented people. An empire where the use of talent is magically suppressed that doesn't also adopt a completely isolationist policy should have been overrun by aggressive neighbors like spoilers for Books 6-8 Gracely, especially when the Seated Blendings for the last three quarters of a century are weak Middle figureheads and Book 6 spoilers this is a widely known fact to the assembly members in Gracely, or spoilers for Book 5 infitrated by spies from Astindan border clans (tribes?) the moment the not-so-secret Gandistran army started marching and conquering stretches of Astindan territory and therefore destroyed by a stealth operation that takes out the army's leadership, who are of course, Lows and Middles not to mention that literally the only defense against being put under Spirit magic control in the canon books is book 8 spoilers be extremely stubborn OMFG.

:ughh:

quote:

�Ah, Kambil, you�re back,� Bron said after looking up. �How did it go? Did you learn anything?�

�I certainly did, which means we�ll be busy tonight,� Kambil replied, heading for the everpresent tea service. If for some reason he had to stop drinking tea, he had no idea what he would do with himself in place of holding a cup and sipping from it.

Be a more nuanced character, maybe? Would it kill Green to consider giving her characters distinct tics?

quote:

�Does that mean we still aren�t to be allowed into the palace?� Selendi asked. �They have a lot of nerve keeping us out after we won the competitions.�

Still not seeing why you guys can't march on into the palace. Even if you didn't win that last bout, most of the nobility and the city have spent days watching you wield fearsome elemental powers to win the rest of your matches.

quote:

�Don�t forget that we were helped to win, my sweet,� Homin told her with a chuckle. �That means they think we owe them something. But I take it Zolind is still being difficult?�

�Advisor Zolind Maylock was undoubtedly born difficult,� Kambil said over his shoulder as he added sugar to his tea. �He�s called for a full meeting of all his brother Advisors, insisting that it be held tomorrow. Once the meeting is in session he�ll certainly insist that we be disqualified and that a new round of competitions be held next year, with the present Blending remaining Seated for the time. We can�t afford to let that happen, so tonight we�ll see to it that the man who was born difficult dies the same way.�

�Won�t he be expecting us to try something like that?� Bron asked, watching as Kambil carried his teacup to a chair and sat. �I mean, we are a functioning Blending, after all. Only a fool would ignore that fact and discount us.�

�Sometimes ignorance accounts for a good deal of foolishness,� Kambil told him, pausing to sip his tea before continuing. �For instance, there�s a guard contingent stationed around this house now. It was posted there supposedly to �protect� us, but they also have orders to make sure we don�t leave. The guardsman I passed on the way out was kind enough to tell me that, although he doesn�t remember speaking to me and is prepared to swear that no one got by him. Zolind doesn�t even really understand what we�re capable of individually, so how can he possibly guard against us as a Blending?�

I don't understand why you have to do anything as a Blending. Clearly Kambil has no issues with mind puppeting four people already and we will never see anything in terms of an upper limit for how many people can be under a Spirit magic user's control, or any Spirit magic user struggling to put anybody under control, or keep them under control, ever. They just reach out to the power, do the magical equivalent of "abracadabra, control" and hey presto, they have a mind slave who stays mind-slaved until that command is disrupted.

Send Kambil around to visit all of the Advisors right before the full Advisory meeting and we're done with this stupid plot. Or if that's too much work, just have Kambil puppet Zolind around during the meeting. :bang:

quote:

�He can�t, so he�s ours as soon as we reach him,� Selendi said happily, tightening her grip on Homin�s hand. �And since no one will remember that we left and then returned, he�ll even have provided us with witnesses to support our innocence.�

�A point which I find extremely amusing,� Homin said with a faint smile, briefly raising Selendi�s hand to his lips. �What I�d like to know, though, is how we�ll cover ourselves where the Seated Blending is concerned. You said we would be ending them as well, and who else but us will be considered able to do that?�

�No one, which is why they won�t be �ended,� at least as far as the world is concerned.� Kambil made no effort to hide his amusement, as the idea which had come to him still had the ability to tickle. �The Five will be seen to leave the palace without their guard, on the way out saying something to the effect that they�d done their duty and had no interest in hanging about any longer. People will have the impression that they mean to implement private plans, which ought to explain their complete disappearance. And they will disappear, in a way that no one will ever find them again.�

...and people would BUY this? When we've had pages and pages of exposition that no High talent who was ever sent for testing comes back? And no mention of what happened to the outgoing Seated Blending prior to this one? :doh:

quote:

�Is that why you had me check on the abandoned quarry ten miles beyond the far side of the city?� Bron asked, sudden understanding coloring his expression. �I remember thinking that properly weighted bodies thrown into the water would never come to the surface again�at least until the water had turned them completely unrecognizable. Is that where you intend to put them?�

�As soon as all clothing and jewelry are stripped from them,� Kambil confirmed with a nod. �That way no one will know who they are even if the bodies are found. I doubt there are as many as a dozen ordinary people in and around this city who know the Five by sight, and that�s who would find them: ordinary people. Those who would be able to identify the bodies won�t even hear about the incident-assuming the bodies are found at all.�

...way to wield that sledgehammer of exposition.

quote:

�And even if they are, we�ll have been Seated by then,� Selendi said with the satisfaction they all obviously felt. �We�ll also have made good progress in ridding ourselves of anyone who might be willing to use the discovery against us, so we�ll be doubly protected. When are we going to begin, and what do you have planned for Zolind?�

A mysterious disappearance here or there would go unremarked. Half of the upper echelons of the nobility running the empire disappearing is not suspicious, it's a bloody warning siren. It's things like this that make me confused about what purpose the antagonist viewpoints are supposed to serve. Are we supposed to empathize with them? Are we supposed to fear for the city or the empire? I'm really not sure what the intended emotional impact here is, other than frustration at the fact that these doofuses are still sitting around drinking tea having a meeting to discuss terrible ideas instead of DOING actual things.

quote:

�I have something rather� complex in mind for our friend Zolind, and we�ll begin about an hour before dinnertime,� Kambil replied, letting his own satisfaction show through. �He always has dinner guests, which means our little production will have an adequate audience. I�ll tell you the plan, and then you can all criticize it for flaws.�

�Not all of us, happily,� Homin disagreed rather dryly. �Poor Delin over there won�t be criticizing or complaining ever again, for which I�m extremely grateful. If you hadn�t put him under your control, I�m convinced he would have soon begun to whine.�

I'm convinced Homin is a totally different character to the one we originally met. Isn't Spirit magic handy, for not having to think about writing your characters consistently?

quote:

�What do you mean, �would have�?� Bron countered with a snort. �If he wasn�t whining about being left out of things, I�ve never heard the sound. This way we have his strength and talent in the Blending, but otherwise don�t have to put up with his feebleminded insanity.

I miss the smooth, Mr. Charming, sociopath Delin we were introduced to as an antagonist originally.

quote:

So what are we going to be doing to Zolind?�

Kambil leaned forward and told them, all the while marveling at the artificial personalities he and his grandmother had imposed on the three. The idea of doing that had been Grammi�s, and it had come as a mild surprise that she�d perfected the technique on Kambil�s father, who was her son. She�d begun her practice on her own husband, and when she�d accidentally ruined his mind had had to arrange his death. A different accident had made the death of her daughter-in-law also necessary, but by the time she worked on her son, she knew all the trouble spots which had to be avoided.

Make Grammi the real antagonist. This is far more compelling than anything else I've read. Also this is about the point where you should realize that Book 5 spoilers Kambil is under his grandmother's control too which is a legitimately great idea by Green that is, of course, lost in amongst all of the dull prose and so if your mind blurred as you skimmed over the words, you are in good company. I totally missed this my first time through because I was too busy trying to not fall asleep.

quote:

And Kambil had found the technique ridiculously easy to work with when they�d done his three Blendingmates. Their dysfunctional personalities had been pushed aside and overshadowed by calm, rational pseudo-egos, none of which could really be considered fully normal, but ones which were easily led and manipulated. The three subjects loved what they called their new selves, of course; what they had no idea about was the fact that they weren�t permitted to do anything but love them.

No, Green will never explore the horrific implications of her magic system in any sort of depth.

quote:

Their ability to function in the group had been increased, though, so Kambil was serious about consulting their opinions.

I have no idea why, because none of the three displayed any sort of glimmer of intelligence and just because you managed to override their personalities doesn't mean you were also able to gift them with additional powers of observation or the ability to think logically or laterally.

quote:

The four of them discussed Zolind�s coming demise for quite some time, until Kambil announced that he�d arranged for a late-afternoon bite to eat. The interim meal would hold them until they returned to the house, and then they would dine long and well.

They took Delin along to eat as well, of course, and Kambil found himself regretting all over again that it hadn�t been possible to adjust the man the way the others had been adjusted. He had to be kept in a sort of nonthinking limbo most of the time, and then had to be controlled carefully when his talent was needed. It was a lot of extra effort that should have been unnecessary�except for the deeply twisted thing Delhi�s mind had been turned into. Kambil was beginning to nurse almost as much resentment against Delin�s father as Delin felt�.

Oh hey, here's a great opportunity to dive into what this means! It matches up with the theme and everything!

quote:

But simple revenge would have to wait until more pressing matters were attended to. Kambil sat back at the end of the meal to study his people, for the most part satisfied with what he�d accomplished. That excuse his father had been given about why he�d been put into a Blending � Despite the care Kambil usually took to keep from frightening those he came in contact with, someone had seen through the facade and had become frightened anyway. Whoever it was had to have a respectable amount of power, and so was a dangerous enemy. As soon as Zolind and the current Blending�and certain of the rest of the Advisors�were seen to, Kambil would make it his business to identify the person, and then he would give the man his thanks for almost having ruined his life.

Oh okay. We're just gonna retcon everything we knew about Kambil, and turn him into a super sinister operator that we've had no inkling of, even though we've had many Kambil POVs before. Right, carry on.

quote:

Once the meal was over everyone separated to prepare for the outing, Delin being taken care of by two of the servants.

And they're NOT gonna be suspicious over this mentally vacant shell of a person who probably resembles somebody who's burned out?

quote:

Their group tended toward brightly colored clothing, which simply would not do for their current undertaking. Not being noticed was more easily accomplished when people had drabness to overlook, and Kambil�s groupmates never questioned the need to make things easier for him. That was one definite benefit which made up for the bother of having to be in charge.

And suddenly changing into uncharacteristically nondescript clothing is not gonna be suspicious at all either?

quote:

When all five of them had reassembled in the hall, Kambil switched Delin over to simply being under control, then he initiated the Blending.

Uh, what. You're just gonna Blend right here, in your nondescription "we are totally doing something not illegal" clothing, in the middle of the hall of your residence that is most definitely being monitored.

quote:

Their entity formed at once, of course, and proved to be almost completely stable despite Delin�s � buried desire to rage, might it be called? Somewhere beneath all the control and passivity was the angrily terrified Delin personality, hating what had been and was being done to him.

The choice to describe Delin here as simply a "personality" is...an interesting one.

quote:

But Delin had never been able to resist being taken advantage of, and now was no exception.

this is horrifying on multiple levels.

quote:

After a moment his part of the entity settled down, and then their combined talents were able to search out and affect every member of the guard force around the residence. The guardsmen would continue to remain alert, but would see nothing of the five as they left and returned.

Again, how is personal security not a MASSIVE BUSINESS in the Blendingverse? How is there not an entire industry built around Spirit magic based espionage, countermeasures, counter-countermeasures, and counter-counter-countermeasures?

quote:

Then it became simply a matter of their walking out to the coach Kambil had arranged for earlier. The driver would be seen to later by the Blending, after Zolind and the Five were taken care of. Kambil had no idea how long their practiced group could remain Blended before its strength was completely drained, and now was not the time to experiment.

If you guys are supposedly so practiced, how the hell do you not already know this?

quote:

After they were securely Seated there would be time enough; for now, he kept their Blending separated when there was no real need of it.

The drive to Zolind�s estate was a long, boring one, as Zolind detested living close to the city. During the day it would have been difficult to hide the presence of their coach, but with darkness all around they simply had to avoid the lanterns which had been strung along the approach to the house. The arriving guests saw nothing that way, which was just as it was supposed to be.

or just maybe don't take a recognizable coach? Or do, but one that should actually be there?

quote:

Delin stirred uncomfortably where he sat on the floor of the coach, which told Kambil that the man�s position needed to be shifted. The movement meant the man�s body was in pain, and pain would detract from what he added to the Blending. For that reason Kambil had Selendi trade places with Delin, as she was the smallest of them despite her skirts. The exchange of places was made without argument, of course, and then they were able to Blend again.

We already know that Kambil absolutely controls everything now, thanks, we didn't need this too.

quote:

The entity floated to the large house and inside, locating Zolind after a few minutes in the salon beside the large dining room. It was clear not all of the Advisor�s guests had arrived yet, and that despite the fact that almost twenty people stood about sipping wine. Zolind himself drank only tea,

Highest Aspect forfend, the tea compulsion extends to the very highest ranks of the nobility.

quote:

but never insisted that his guests do the same. The conversation was much too desultory, however, so the entity touched one of the men immediately around Zolind with a suggestion.

�Someone asked me today why the Seating ceremony for the new Blending hasn�t been announced yet,� the portly man who had been touched announced casually. �Since I don�t really know the answer myself, I couldn�t tell them.�

�The answer is quite simple,� Zolind replied obediently, now completely under the control of the entity. �The time of the ceremony hasn�t been announced because there will be no ceremony. I wanted Adriari and her people to be Seated, and these others are not an acceptable substitute. Tomorrow I will announce that at the Advisory meeting, and none of the others will dare to disagree with me.�

...and nobody is gonna find this completely out of character?

quote:

�My dear fellow, you can�t be serious,� the portly man protested, again at the urging of the entity. �Adriari and her group are gone, and these others have won the competitions. You can�t simply discount that just because they aren�t the group you favored.�

�I can do anything I please!� Zolind growled in a louder than-normal voice, thawing the attention of everyone in the salon.

I...

Quite apart from the jawdropping levels of wooden pantomime of plot happening here, did Green just decide to use the phrase "thawing the attention"?

What does that even mean? I can't even.

:psypop:

quote:

Those immediately around him had remained silent, trying to disassociate themselves from the portly man who was so rash as to disagree with Zolind. The entity felt their disturbance clearly, and made no attempt to change it.

I hate all the entity POVs. This prose has all the appeal of dead, rotting roadkill.

quote:

�I can do anything I please, including rejecting people I imply cannot stomach!� Zolind growled forcefully, glaring it the portly man.

Did Zolind suddenly turn into a dog while I wasn't looking? That's an awful lot of growling he should probably get checked out.

quote:

�That Delin Moord is one of them, and I�ve become convinced that Moord is the one responsible for Ollon�s death. Someone has to be responsible, someone has to pay! Do you have any idea how much I miss��

Zolind�s words broke off as he obediently turned away from his guests, one hand covering his eyes to demonstrate his anguish. A roomful of glances were exchanged, making it plain that most of them were aware of Zolind�s relationship with Ollon Kapmar. It was also clear that Zolind had never mentioned it aloud before, and more than a few of the observers were upset by Zolind�s abrupt loss of self-control.

There you go. That's our one instance of a non-het relationship in these books represented.

quote:

�You have our sympathy, of course, my friend, but you must be reasonable,� the portly man was made to say gently after a moment. �If the winning Five isn�t Seated, the commoner leaders will want to know why. Telling them that someone has to pay for Ollon�s death won�t satisfy them, not when there�s no actual proof that it was this Moord fellow. And you don�t have actual proof, do you?�

�I dislike the elder Moord, and I loathe his son!� Zolind was made to shout as he whirled back to face the fool who challenged him. �Have you somehow forgotten exactly who I am? I want someone to pay for Ollon�s death, and therefore someone will pay! Are you too stupid to understand that?�

Zolind was now in a frenzy, his eyes opened wide as spittle sprayed from his mouth. Those closest to him had taken a pair of steps back, some retreating even farther. The portly man was made to look horrified as he joined everyone else in recoiling, and that was allowed to increase the Advisor�s agitation. Zolind began to shout incoherently, his face reddening dangerously as he accused everyone in the room of being in collusion against him. Then the Advisor gasped and clutched at his chest, faltering a moment before collapsing to the floor.

The portly man led some of the others in rushing to Zolind, but it was already too late. The entity had caused the Advisor�s heart to fail, killing the man almost instantly.

The complex solution is "cause a scene to make Zolind really mad, mad enough that nobody will question his random unfiltered baldly-stated outbursts of raw motivations or that he supposedly gave himself a heart attack".

Not really complex enough to meet the definition of the word, but yeah, given the low, low bar that's been set in the books so far, I'll pay it.

quote:

�He�s dead!� the portly man announced in a shocked whisper as he struggled to straighten up. �He�s dead, and I feel responsible!�

�You were insane for arguing with him, but it isn�t your fault that he�s dead,� one of the other guests grudged, relieving the entity of the need to cause someone to say that. �Losing Ollon obviously unhinged him, and we�re all quite fortunate that he died. If he�d lived, his madness would have caused untold harm before someone found the courage to oppose him.�

�If they�d ever found it,� the portly man agreed with a sigh. �Zolind�s autocratic manner has never been easy to disagree with, but tonight I simply couldn�t abide letting the matter go. There would have been all sorts of trouble if the new Five failed to be Seated simply because Zolind disliked one of them, but the other Advisors would never have been able to overrule him.�

�People have said for years that Zolind had a collection of serious indiscretions to hold over their heads,� someone else put in. �Anyone opposing him would have been promptly arrested � and now I wonder where that collection might have been kept.�

Pretty sure it's in the same place that Green keeps her revision notes.

quote:

Others joined the speculation as servants were called to attend to the body, and the most uniform emotion the group shared was an air of disappointment. The entity perceived that Zolind�s guests disliked the idea of no longer being an intimate of so important a man, although �intimate� wasn�t precisely the right word. Zolind had been really close to no one but Ollon Kapmar; the rest had been all but faceless company for a man who had disliked dining alone.

At that point the entity withdrew, and once it had returned to the coach Kambil dissolved the bond.

I wonder what would happen if you dissolved the Blending away from its members' bodies. Like does everybody become a mindless husk, except for the Spirit magic user, because their out-of-body experience is something that is possibly only thanks to Spirit magic? (No we will never find out.)

quote:

He joined the others in taking a deep breath to celebrate their first success, then rapped on the coach roof to signal the driver to get them away from there. There was still one further chore to be done tonight, and then they would be able to return to the residence to eat and rest. Tomorrow � well, that remained to be seen, depending on whether or not the rest of the Advisors held their meeting, or attended the farewell ceremony for Zolind.

Kambil smiled into the darkness as the coach began to move. There was no need for their entity to attend a farewell ceremony, but the full Advisory meeting was another matter entirely�.

Still confused on why you needed to kill Zolind instead of just...taking control of him right when you guys won, which would have allowed you to install yourselves in the palace immediately after your aided victory.

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back. During dinner, she is forced to experience an Obvious Plot Recap as well as her father's own humiliation from Lord Lanir.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Kambil and his mind slaves stake out Zolind's dinner party and puppet him around to a super lame script, in which Zolind lets loose about how he's really mad that Delin killed his lover, Ollon, and that's why he'll never Seat any Blending with Delin in it. After this incredibly on the nose forced villain monologue, Kambil and co kill Zolind via a heart attack and leave, very chuffed with themselves.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 50 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 31 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 27 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 121 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 57 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 35 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 114 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 67 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 70 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 36 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 23 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 13, including 3 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 1 in Book 4, which is a rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)

Possible fixes:
This book, or at least the first third of it, should have been Rion struggling to free himself from being dragged back into his former life. But since Hallina Mardimil is so well-connected, he should be able to get in to all of noble dinner parties so he can get his Sherlock on and find out where the others are, as well as all the mysterious disappearances of the Advisors and high-ranked nobility that are about to happen.

What a great idea for a fantasy thriller!

I would totally read an entire book of Rion trying to escape, learning how to politick and using his newfound knowledge of sex being a thing to discover all the clues he needs to reunite his Blending, and then just as he's figured out everything he needs to rescue his Blendingmates, he stumbles across Kambil's far more sinister machinations that threaten to literally plunge the empire into Chaos.

Sorry guys, that's not where Green's going. Book 4 is headed to way less exciting places.

# ? Aug 2, 2022 02:49

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER SIX

�I�ve been looking forward to this all day,� Lanir said as he closed the bedchamber door behind us. �I felt tempted to taste your charms yesterday, but I dislike lack of response in a woman.

Real charmer, this guy.

quote:

I expected to have most of the day with you today, not realizing that I would be called away on business. Don�t bother ringing for a maid. Helping you out of that gown will be my pleasure.�

�First answer a question for me,� I said, crossing most of the room before stopping and turning back to look at him. �My group was winning that final competition, and then suddenly we were unconscious. How did they do that?�

�Hilsom powder in your underclothes, which stayed undisturbed until the underclothes were shaken with Air magic, forced you out of touch with the power, and then Earth magic users helped the powder to put you to sleep,� be answered easily enough as he followed me across the room.

And again, I submit that this doesn't make any sense. How vigorously was said shaking? Especially when they were wearing said underwear? And how was this shaking LESS vigorous than the shaking that had to have occurred when they actually put the underwear on? Seriously, they should have knocked themselves out in the waiting room.

quote:

�That�s what�s usually done, although it�s never been necessary in the final round before.�

�And what became of my groupmates?� I asked, standing my ground as his arms began to circle me. �Were they all claimed by someone like you?�

�I have no idea what became of them, nor do I care,� he replied, smiling down at me as his embrace slowly tightened. �And I believe you�ll discover that there is no one else precisely like me. Raise your lips to mine.�

In case you're curious, this "Raise your lips to mine" line appears in like, every Green book in every dubcon/noncon sex scene ever. Verbatim.

quote:

�For what purpose?� I asked, flatly refusing to let my voice tremble. �I may be prepared to say goodbye to you and this vile place, but that doesn�t necessarily call for a kiss.�

Tamrissa, you are terrible at interrogation.

quote:

�Are you trying to tease me?� he asked, his tone less than pleased. �If you are because you think I might enjoy it, allow me to assure you that you�re wrong. Denial is not my idea of enjoyment, and can only bring you punishment. Although how the need for punishment can be possible after the orders you�ve been given ��

�Have you finally noticed that I�m not as obedient as I�m supposed to be?� I asked in what I hoped was a mocking tone. �It�s certainly about time, as the touch of you against my body is making me ill. Release me this moment, or you�ll surely wish you had.�

�How dare you!� he began to demand in a growl, and then his expression abruptly changed. Fear flashed in his eyes as he suddenly touched the power, but his burst of understanding came too late. I�d already applied a tiny line of flames to his forearms under his sleeves, which made him flinch back with a scream even as he opened his own talent wide.

�What have you done?� he choked out in a strangled whisper, cradling his arms in trembling hands. �You�re opened to the power, but that�s not possible! And you�re so��

�Strong?� I suggested, speaking the word he hadn�t. �I would ask why that frightens you�if I weren�t able to tell that you have no more than Middle talent. Doesn�t that mean your title has to be changed to Seated Middle? I can�t wait to tell that joke to everyone in the city�.�

The sensing of magical strength only goes one way apparently. No Highs ever have a hard time telling the difference between a Low, a Middle and a High, but every Low and Middle trying to describe someone of a strength level above them just jaw drops and goes "oh they're SO UNBELIEVABLY STRONG!" So the only reason nobody is running around calling Lanir and any of the Seated Highs or even the Seated Blending out is not just because of the general suppression of use of talent, but also because apparently nobody other than a High (and the Guild) can actually tell the difference between a Middle and a High.

No, why the Guild is complicit in all of this is never explained, and it SHOULD BE because not all Guild talents are nobles.

quote:

His scream interrupted before I could suggest the price of my silence, and then there were flames all around, trying to burn me to cinders. My defenses had automatically flared into being an instant before the attack, which in this case meant no more than simply keeping the ravening fire at a distance. Lanir just wasn�t strong enough to overwhelm me, So I smiled faintly through the flickering evidence of his fear-filled anger.

This ebook has been proofread extremely well.

quote:

�You can see that that isn�t doing you a bit of good,� I pointed out gently. �If you�re wise you�ll be reasonable about letting me go, but first you�ll have to convince me that you intend to keep to any bargain we happen to make, have no reason to trust you and every reason not to, so��

�No!� the man screamed with fists clenched, insanity beginning to peer out of his eyes. �I can�t let you go after insisting that I be allowed to claim you! I�ll look like a fool, and I�ll become a laughingstock! Better to be thought clumsy for having turned you to ash�!�

The way this is punctuated drives me insane. Why is the em dash appearing between "ash" and the exclamation mark? I'm 80% certain that you would not include the exclamation mark like this, but I am not an expert on the Chicago Manual of Style so :shrug:

Can any editors in the thread enlighten us?

quote:

And then his eyes widened with his effort, an effort I understood only after a very long moment. The fool was ignoring his limits and trying to take in enough power to match me, which meant he really was insane. Middles weren�t able to step past that natural block�

Nope, we'll never get any explanation about this "natural block" and why it exists. I can only conclude it's because of Green's :biotruths:

position.

quote:

His third and last scream shook me so badly that I stumbled back, narrowly missing a collision with a table. Along with the scream had come the abrupt severing of Lanir�s touch on the power, followed by the man�s sitting down hard on the carpeted floor. By then he had stopped screaming, and I didn�t need to see his black, fixed stare to know what had happened. He�d forced himself past his natural stopping place, and had burned himself out for his trouble.

I turned away to find a chair to sit down in, needing a moment to pull myself together. The fact that Lanir had taken himself out of my way permanently didn�t bother me,

A fate so horrible that has normal people like Lorand traumatized for life doesn't bother Tamrissa. At all.

quote:

but the screaming he�d done did. How soon would people come rushing in to see what had happened? And when they came, would I be able to protect myself from them? I wasn�t sure, not when I didn�t know how many there would be and what they would be capable of�.

The answer is yes, very much yes, because you know, you can just SET FIRE TO THE HOUSE.

quote:

Trying to still the trembling of my hands occupied me for a few minutes, and then I began to wonder why no one had appeared yet. Surely someone had heard the screams, no matter how big that house was, so why hadn�t they�The question died as the answer came so abruptly that I was suddenly enraged. No one had come after hearing the screams because they thought I was the one doing the screaming. They must have been very used to their employer�s way of enjoying himself�.

Everyone in this household must be deaf if they can't tell the difference between a man screaming and a woman screaming.

quote:

That realization calmed me completely, so familiar was it. My husband had run the same sort of household, and now Lanir would soon be in the same condition as my husband. That idea seemed so beautifully right that I turned in the chair to look at Lanir, seeing again the way he sat and stared and drooled. When they found him they would put him down, making no effort to preserve an empty husk. The man who had been was no longer housed in that body, so what was the sense in keeping it alive?

Sections like these are the worst. This should be an awful, PTSD triggering memory for Tamrissa, and we're getting none of the visceral, emotional horror, just this bland narration.

quote:

I went to the tea service then to discover that it had been refilled with fresh tea, so I helped myself and spent some time simply sitting and sipping.

Because nothing quite like a cup of TEA to aid in raping an unwilling woman :stonk:

I just can't even what is this doing here :psypop:

quote:

I had to wait until the household had settled down for the night before I could leave, so there was no rush to go and start and do. What I would eventually do was walk away into the night, even though I had no idea where I was or where I would go.

This would actually be some good character development for Tamrissa!

quote:

Lanir had claimed not to know where my groupmates were, but I still had to find them�.

The part of me that never seemed to touch the power quailed at the idea of such an impossible task, but it wasn�t really all that impossible. Someone had to know what had been done with the others of my group, so the first thing I had to do was find that someone. It occurred to me that I could ask Eltrina Razas, who might not be very interested in answering my questions. I would then have to make her interested, and there would be no losing her the way I�d lost Lanir�at least not until she answered my questions.

Really? Why? She's equally capable of burning herself out too.

quote:

Thinking about Eltrina Razas became planning a way to reach her, which brought me to the subject of a coach or carriage. I�d have to hire one, of course, even if Lanir had his own stables and coach house. Women just didn�t go driving all by themselves in that city, and doing it anyway would simply get me noticed. But I had no money �

The thought of going disguised as a servant girl doesn't even occur to her. :doh:

I guess that's in character so I should be giving Green points here. Too bad Jovvi never confided in Tamrissa about all that gold stashed inside that statue at her house!

quote:

After putting my cup down, I rose and walked over to Lanir where he still sat on the carpeting. The stain on his trousers�added to the terrible smell that seemed to be all around him�suggested he�d lost control of his bodily functions, but his wallet still lay securely around his waist and untouched by any effluvia. I bent carefully and unbuckled then carried it back to my chair. Since the former Seated High had brought me to a place I never wanted to be, he could just pay to have me driven away again. His wallet contained a really fat purse, which in turn contained quite a bit of gold and silver.

I don't know what it is about the way Green has written this that puts me in the mind of looting NPC corpses after a D&D encounter.

quote:

Discovering that sent me on a search of the room, to see if I might find any sort of handbag. The wardrobe was empty of everything, including the dress I�d worn earlier in the day, which I found rather confusing. If I�d been meant to live in that room, why would there be nothing of clothing for me? The possibility I eventually came up with made me sneer in Lanir�s direction. He could well have meant to keep me in a nightdress�or naked�to be certain that running away was impossible, possibly as women before me had done, That said quite a lot about him as a man, making him some-one who held women with restraints rather than with kindness or enticements.

Lanir's awfully confident he's gonna be able to knock her up before she gets her next period.

quote:

Was there anyone�other than his cronies in the government�who would mourn his passing? I thought it unlikely as I turned away from my search with nothing to show for the effort. There was no handbag and nothing to use in place of one, which meant that I would have to tie the purse to my underskirts after taking out a few silver dins.

Am surprised that we don't get a description of her shoving the silver dins down her cleavage.

quote:

Showing gold would bring trouble of its own if the wrong people saw it, and I�d certainly have trouble enough without adding to it. Anxiety to leave that place had begun to grow inside me, but I forced myself to have one final cup of tea before making the attempt. It had been at least two hours since Lanir had brought me back to that room, and by now all the servants should have retired. I�d find out soon enough if they hadn�t, but that final cup of tea would lessen the chance of an unpleasant encounter.

Okay, I actually have to increment the tea counter twice now.

quote:

When the time finally� came to leave, I took one last glance around the bedchamber and then walked to the door. Lanir hadn�t looked it, I�d noticed at the very beginning,

Real stellar proofreading going on here.

quote:

but I�d still taken a small ring of keys from his wallet as well as the gold and silver. If the servants were all in bed, the house ought to be completely locked up. I had no intention of creeping heart-stoppingly all the way to the door, only to find it locked with something other than a slide bolt. And I did end up virtually creeping through the dark halls, my heart pounding heavily in my ears. I felt certain that no one in that house would have been able to stop me, but the idea of running into someone still caused my heart to pound and my mouth to go dry.

You are unable to release the power. You have worked out your system of magical radar based on body heat, including being able to differentiate between people who are awake and people who are asleep.

At this point, you are capable of being Snake in Metal Gear Solid with the Soliton Radar mini map:

There is no reason why you would not immediately know the relative positions and mental alertness of every person inside the building, and probably outside as well, depending on what a typical range is for a High talent in Fire.

quote:

Most of me wanted to run to get out of there, and only the knowledge that I�d certainly have a long distance to go before I found a coach or carriage kept me from wasting my physical strength.

The creeping did prove itself useful, though. I�d decided against using the front door unless I absolutely had to, so I was in the midst of searching for a side door when I came across two servants.

Seriously this should not be a surprise to you! Why are you not using the magical skill you've developed!?

quote:

They sat in a small room drinking tea,

Three times in one chapter!

quote:

looking completely bored as they waited for something. The bell arrangements on the far wall suggested what they were waiting for: a summons from the lord of the house, I tiptoed past the partially open door and then hurried my search, not knowing whether they were simply on duty for the entire night�or awaiting a definite summons. If Lanir was expected to ring for them, how long would it be before they went to investigate his continued silence �?

It was a lucky thing that I found the door I sought just around the next curve of that dimly lit back hall. If I hadn�t I would have certainly retraced my steps to the front door, taking the chance that there would be a servant on duty near it. I�d heard that people with really big houses had servants assigned to front-door duty at night as well as during the day, just in case an emergency of some sort arose. I now needed more than ever to be out of that house, and the thought of being stopped brought me close to losing control.

The small side door had both a slide bolt and a key lock, making me glad that I�d taken Lanir�s keys. It took much too long to get the door open�almost a full minute�but I still forced myself to take the time to relock it once I stood outside. If Lanir was discovered before I left the grounds, the search for me might be confined to the house if all doors were found to be still locked.

A good plan, but what are you going to do with the keys? Somebody's gonna be pretty suspicious that Lanir doesn't have his keys.

(I just finished writing a heist sequence yesterday, which involved a lot of thinking about how I was going to have my characters get away cleanly. And figuring out what to do with the key they had stolen was one of the problems.)

quote:

That line of logic wasn�t a very strong one, but I clung to the hope of it as I made my way along the footpath which led away from that side door. It was very dark out and rather chilly in the lacy gown I still wore, but a bit of moonlight was available to help me move carefully along the footpath. Happily no one had added gravel to make it look better� and be more treacherous and noisy, footing-wise�but I still couldn�t move as fast as I wanted to. Falling and twisting an ankle�or worse�would have been the end of everything, so I simply had to go rather slowly.

What is this footpath made out of? :confused:

Serious question here. This is more descriptive detail than we've ever gotten before, and it's actually relevant to the plot!

quote:

Leaving the vicinity of the house didn�t bring me that much closer to a main road or street. The footpath paralleled a long drive ranging off into the darkness, a drive which seemed to go on forever. I trudged along the footpath, wishing I could walk the hard-packed earth of the drive instead, but that would have made me much too visible. Being in that gown was bad enough, considering the tiny sequins sewn all over both the skirt and bodice. If lamps were brought close the sequins would certainly gleam the way they were meant to do, making me completely visible. I needed to be able to hide behind a large tree, and trees were closer to the footpath than to the drive. Walking along like that gave me far too much time to think, as the thought uppermost in my mind was how far I would have to go before I would be able to find a coach or carriage. Many public stables had carriages for hire, but how many of them would be open at that time of night? And when I finally did reach the main road, which way should I go? Turning right when the proper direction was left could have me walking for the rest of the night without finding what I needed�

I don't understand how a tense escape sequence can be so boring.

quote:

I stopped dead as my latest glance up from watching where I put my feet showed me something other than empty woods. A large, dark shadow stood about thirty feet ahead, motionless at the side of the drive. The outline of the shadow suggested that it was a coach, and once I�d noticed that I could also hear the faint jingle of horses in harness. I�d been wishing rather fervently for a coach, but not for a moment did I believe that some beneficial superbeing had heard my wish and granted it.

You're pretty close though, because spoilers for 3 paragraphs ahead: it's Naran and spoilers for Book 5 she can See the future so... :v:

quote:

Fear tried to wrap its hands around my throat and middle, but anger rose too swiftly to let that happen. I hadn�t come through everything just to walk into the waiting hands of another enemy, not when my touch on the power was as firm and sure as ever. Lank

The number of typos in this chapter is ridiculous.

quote:

hadn�t had to face my flames, but whoever lay in wait to trap me certainly wouldn�t be that fortunate. I hadn�t even produced a small fire to light my way along the footpath, just to be certain that I had enough strength in case of something like this�.

I was actually half a thought away from kindling a fire that would consume the coach almost instantly,

Tamrissa is seriously unhinged.

quote:

when I noticed the human figure which had appeared beside the vehicle. The figure was engaged in pacing back and forth along the drive, and even more importantly it was female. Some woman waited there, and one who was certainly not tall enough to be either Eltrina Razas or my mother. A small woman, then, and one whose fingers moved nervously about each other�.

Curiosity took me silently nearer, but I had to close half the distance between us before I finally recognized the woman. Shock touched me briefly along with confusion, but there was only one way to find out what was going on. I left the footpath and crossed to the drive, and when I reached it I called softly, �Naran!�

Naran Whist, Rion�s ladylove,

Please never use that phrase ever again.

quote:

whirled around in what seemed to be fright. Her case of nerves was apparently twice or three times worse than mine, and when she saw me she raised her skins and actually ran to meet me.

�Oh, Tamrissa, I knew you would escape from there!� she sobbed, throwing her arms around me. �I did know it, but when hour after hour passed and you didn�t appear� I was nearly convinced that I�d missed you, and that made me frantic.�

Spoilers for Books 5 onwards: the way Naran's Sight works is super vague and I hate it, because it just turns into this stupid plot device for whenever Green can't be bothered to actually plot good

quote:

�Well, now I�m here so everything�s all right,� I soothed her, returning her hug. It felt so strange, me soothing someone else�s fright� �But how did you find me? Even I don�t know where I am.�

�I can�t explain how I found you, at least not yet,� she said, releasing her hold on me as she visibly regained control of herself. �Among other things, we simply don�t have the time.

Actually well done foreshadowing/book 5 spoilers red herring! Because when you first read this and then get through the next set of chapters in this escape sequence, you think "aha! It's because Naran's got connections to the secret commoner rebel organization" but really, it's because she Saw it.

quote:

I also know where Rion and Vallant are, but they can�t escape without help. They�re still under the influence of a horrible drug that affects both their talent and their bodies. You�re the only one who has gotten free, so you�re the one who has to help them.�

�Are you saying someone made me designated hero when I wasn�t looking?� I asked, a bit overwhelmed by the thought that two big, strong men needed my help.

This is so 1990s fantasy it hurts.

quote:

�Well, I�d already decided to find the others� But what about Jovvi and Lorand? If you found the rest of us ��

�I haven�t been able to locate them yet,� she replied with a headshake, her pretty face looking drawn in the faint moonlight. �I don�t know why I haven�t been able to because they�re definitely still alive,

Yeah, so book 5 spoilers Naran doesn't know how her talent works either.

quote:

but�Let�s get into the coach, and I�ll explain where Rion and Vallant are.�

�Where did you get a coach?� I asked as I moved toward the vehicle with her. �And one that has a driver,� I added as I saw the man on the box turn to glance at us. �Have you paid him enough to keep him quiet? When they begin to look for me, they may offer a reward for information.�

�He�ll be well paid, but he doesn�t really need to be,� Naran responded as she opened the coach door and gathered her skirts before beginning to climb in. �He�s the driver of a very good friend of mine, and neither of them would give a noble the right time of day even for gold. Don�t most of the people you know feel like that?�

�Before becoming a member of our group, the only people I�d ever heard talking about nobles were merchants like my father,� I replied, ignoring the trouble my skirts tried to give as I followed her into the coach. �My father�s associates always waxed really enthusiastic when it came to the nobility, but I don�t know if that was because of all the gold they made dealing with them, or because they were afraid to say anything negative. Nobles will pay you if you tell them about people who say things against the nobility, you know.�

�Yes, everyone knows that,� Naran responded with a sigh, still settling herself just as I was doing. �But everyone also knows the ones who would go after that dirty silver, so nothing is ever said in front of them. Ah, we�ve begun to move. Next stop�Rion�s mother�s house.�

4 books in and I still have no clue what the city looks like or how it's laid out or what kind of districts exist within it. That's...that's really bad. Significant locations should be treated and developed like important characters.

quote:

�Do you mean she actually managed to get him back?� I asked with surprise, then waved away the foolish question. �No, forget I said that. The real surprise would be if she hadn�t gotten him back. Poor Rion. He must be absolutely frantic.�

�That�s why we�re going for him first,� she said, heavy worry now clear in her voice. �If he thinks he has no way to escape her, he might well do something desperate.

This is why the entirety of this escape business should be written from the Rion POV.

quote:

Vallant won�t be allowed to do something desperate, not while that woman still wants to make use of him.�

�That woman,� I echoed, staring at Naran through the darkness. �You�re not talking about Eltrina Razas, are you?�

�Who else?� Naran asked with a sound of scorn. �Rion told me all about her, including the fact that she usually stared at Vallant behind her hand, so to speak, whenever she came to the house. He�s unlikely to be enjoying himself as her captive, but he shouldn�t be actually suffering.�

I had to agree with that, but the entire situation made me boiling mad. When women were so often taken advantage of by men, it was unconscionable to think that there were women stupid enough to try to match that evil. If things happen which you don�t like, you make an effort to end the practice�not to get your own licks in. Hurting someone else because you�ve been hurt�that makes sense only if you go after whoever hurt you, not some possibly innocent substitute. �

Oh look at that, we got some blatant moralizing!

quote:

My thoughts were a bit on the jangled side as the coach moved through the night, but that was only to be expected. It was still rather hard to believe that Naran had actually been waiting for me to escape, and if I�d left that house sooner I would have been in the coach sooner. The only thing to wear in the way of shoes had been what I�d had on: the flimsy slippers which matched the lacy gown. My feet now ached from the walking I�d done over stones and twigs, the ache telling me just how grateful I ought to be that I hadn�t had to keep walking.

...the footpath is made of stones and twigs!? :doh:

Why does Green keep putting bits of information like this out of sequence in the prose? This description would have been better if it had been mentioned when she was actually creeping along the footpath!

quote:

But there were too many distractions attacking my emotions for gratitude to have much of a chance. Outraged indignation toward Rion�s mother was the easiest to define, and I felt glad that I was the one who would get him out of her clutches. She was a vile beast, easily as bad as Lanir if not worse. Enslaving a relative stranger was somehow not quite as bad as doing the same to your own flesh and blood�.

An emotional reaction I actually believe! I really would have liked to see more of Rion and Tamrissa bonding over their horrible childhoods.

quote:

I raised a hand to my head as I tried to fight off the rest of what I felt, but it was simply no use. I�d agreed that Vallant�s rescue could wait until Rion was free, but that had been an intellectual decision rather than an emotional one.

The inner me wept over Vallant�s absence, cried for the safety of his arms about me, ached over what might be happening to him right now.

Why do you like this guy again? He's not Lanir levels of horrible but he's still an rear end.

quote:

The outer me wanted to race to the Razas woman�s house and set a tightening circle of flame about her that would end up meeting in the middle of where she stood,

Those homicidal instincts are just so gosh darn hard to keep down.

quote:

but I couldn�t deny that Rion needed me more.

So first I would free Rion, and then I would go to the man who meant more to me than I�d ever be able to admit�.

�

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back. During dinner, she is forced to experience an Obvious Plot Recap as well as her father's own humiliation from Lord Lanir.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Kambil and his mind slaves stake out Zolind's dinner party and puppet him around to a super lame script, in which Zolind lets loose about how he's really mad that Delin killed his lover, Ollon, and that's why he'll never Seat any Blending with Delin in it. After this incredibly on the nose forced villain monologue, Kambil and co kill Zolind via a heart attack and leave, very chuffed with themselves.

After dinner, Lanir takes Tamrissa back to the bedroom with every intention of raping her violently but burns himself out trying to kill her once he realizes she's got her talent back. She escapes, after drinking two cups of tea, and is picked up by Naran, who has very conveniently done all the hard work of putting an escape and rescue plan together.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 50 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 32 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house, outside Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 27 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 126 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 58 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 18 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 35 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 123 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 67 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 73 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 37 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 23(5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 13, including 3 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 1 in Book 4, which is a rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)
FREEEEEDOOOOM! (Book 4: Chapter 6, Tamrissa)

Possible fixes:
If this were written from the Rion POV, it'd be way more interesting than "sit in a room, drink some tea, sit in another room and eat silently, go sit in the first room and drink some tea while some guy turns himself into a vegetable, walk out and go do some more sitting in a coach."

Wow, now that I've typed all that out, at the level that I would normally be outlining my scenes at, it looks really boring. There's no conflict whatsoever because there are no real obstacles that Tamrissa has to overcome to escape. We don't learn anything new and she doesn't grow as a character.

Why does this chapter even exist, except "because plot"?

# ? Aug 16, 2022 10:43

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

I really wish we had gotten the reveal here about the Seated Highs. It would have added so much if we didn�t know how strong Lanir is until he touches the power after Tamrissa has risked revealing her secret. Then this sequence would have a great reason to be here, too!

# ? Aug 17, 2022 06:49

Hobnob: Feb 23, 2006; Ursa Adorandum

It could actually be a quite good chapter given a better writer. We've not seen anyone "burn out" on screen, I believe, and it's quite a horrible concept, a bit like the "gentling" in The Lies of Locke Lamora.

You would think that most of the magic practitioners in the world would have some fear of burn-out - they would probably have been taught about it as soon as they started using magic. You could imagine an effective scene with a short, violent magic fight with Lanir, and Tamrissa's triumph turning to horror as she realizes what he'd done to himself. You could even make the wallet-retrieving part in service of this, with her reluctant to touch the husk of the once-man.

But no, you get some bland scenes of tea-drinking. Even if Green wanted to depict Tamrissa as happy with her would-be-rapist's fate, you would get that much better if you conveyed the horror of the situation.

And yes, having Tamrissa steal a maid's clothes and escape through the neighborhoods of the city would have been a great chance to flesh out the feel of this mysteriously vague place we've been in for 3 whole books now. Instead, she walks down a path and meets a magical plot device.

# ? Aug 17, 2022 07:20

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER SEVEN�

Dinner had been a dismal affair and was long since over, but Rion continued to sit in the chair he�d been helped to in the sitting room. Mother had joined him for dinner, of course, but after she�d had him helped to the sitting room she�d gone off somewhere. It was the way things had been before he�d left for the testing, being abandoned to his own devices in complete solitude. Mother was obviously trying to re-accustom him to the life, but Rion felt that she had another purpose in mind as well. She�d given him a decision to make, and with nothing else to distract him he would have to consider that decision.

you're a noble in a noble's house. I refuse to believe that there are no other diversions. Do you not have a library? Musical instruments? Can you not call for poetry or other performers to entertain you? Highest Aspect forbid, you could even go to take a bath?

quote:

Rion put his head back and closed his eyes, more desolate than he�d ever imagined it was possible to be. The terror he�d felt�distantly, because of the drug�over losing his talent had turned into a throbbing pang of emptiness which refused to be assuaged. He�d asked himself many times during the last hours if keeping his mind would be all that desirable with both talent and freedom gone, but he hadn�t been able to come to a firm decision. The idea of death didn�t frighten him, but what if his damaged mind retained enough awareness to remember what he�d once been �?

The ice forming around his insides couldn�t be affected by the intake of hot tea,

TEA

because we can't possibly meditate on the huge dilemma facing us without it.

quote:

but Rion still opened his eyes and reached for his cup. Lifting it to his lips took something of an effort and most of his attention, and when he replaced the cup there was a servant standing not far from him.

�Would you like me to pour more tea for you, Lord Clarion?� the man, Ditras, asked. �It would be no trouble at all.�

�Yes, thank you, Ditras,� Rion responded,

Sculling back that tea like it's alcohol.

quote:

still taken by the surprise of an earlier discovery. All those servants he�d thought were laughing at him; since his return he�d been able to interpret their true feelings, which was, almost to a man or woman, pity. They�d known the truth of his situation long before he had, and had tried to offer unspoken sympathy and silent consolation. That he�d interpreted their actions as standoffish ridicule had been Mother�s doing, of course, using passing comments to make him think the worst of those around him. She�d wanted to make sure that no one would find it possible to take her place with him�.

This sticks out oddly to me, for whatever reason, because how do you misinterpret pity for ridicule?! They are two completely different facial expressions.

Exhibit A, ridicule:

Exhibit B, pity:

quote:

�Here I am, my darling, back with you as quickly as possible,� Mother all but sang as she sailed into the room. �Among other things, I�ve been busy arranging to have your clothing brought from Haven Wraithside, so you�ll no longer need to wear those rags. I can�t imagine what you did with the clothing you took with you to that filthy hovel. When I sent servants there to fetch it back, they were able to find nothing but those awful white shirts and gray trousers. I think the servants in that place must have stolen your lovely things when they realized that you would not be returning.�

�No one stole those things, Mother,� Rion said with a faint smile as Ditras faded back and away from him. �I burned all those ridiculous costumes, since not even the neediest of peasants would have been willing to wear any of them. You always told me they were the height of fashion and I believed you�until I learned what true fashion was.

You went to ONE tailor shop to get outfitted for uniforms, and then based on those measurements, Eltrina commissioned you some ABBA pantsuits. Somehow I don't think either of those things qualify as true fashion. (Okay, maybe the ABBA pantsuits do, since the noble Blendings were also wearing them for a ball at the palace.)

quote:

The only ones who wear those costumes are useless, mindless fops�something I don�t happen to be.�

�What you will be is what you once were,� Mother replied coldly, seating herself stiffly without taking her equally cold stare from his face. �You�ve now had time to consider the problem I put to you, just as I�ve had time to consider it. Is there anything you�d care to say to me before I tell you what decision I�ve come to?�

Rion felt his blood icing up to match the rest of his insides, wishing fervently that it could be possible to get up and pace. Mother�s declaration about having made a decision wasn�t good, since there was now no doubt that he would have to beg to be allowed to keep his mind intact. Most of him wanted to do just that, beg and grovel and do anything else necessary to save himself, but that new part of him � It refused to let him abase himself in any way, even if he paid for the lack with his wits and sanity.

�I�m waiting, Clarion,� Mother prompted, a gleam now evident in her light eyes. �I can see that you want to be a good boy, but you must be much more open and clear about it. Tell Mother your decision now, and be certain you do it in the manner which will please her the most.�

�Very well, Mother,� Rion found himself saying, the words impossible to hold back. �You�ve asked to hear my decision, so here it is: I�m not any sort of boy, and you sound an absolute fool referring to yourself in the third person.

Actually...that depends on the language. In Cantonese and Mandarin, it's very common for the parent to refer to themselves in the third person when talking to their child. It's rarer once the child reaches adulthood, but it really depends on the context of the exact line in the conversation.

But we're in Fantasy faux Regency era so yeah, okay.

quote:

Only someone of real importance should be spoken of in that way, which means you simply don�t qualify.

Rion just ignoring political realities to land an insult.

quote:

And to make my position perfectly clear, allow me to say that even your peasant ancestors would turn away from the sight of you in disgust.�

Though this is probably the one that hurts Hallina more.

quote:

�How dare you!� she hissed in a strangled voice, all the blood having drained from her face before it came rushing back to show her extreme outrage. �How dare you even consider speaking to me so, not to mention actually doing it! Have you decided that I�m joking, that I won�t have you punished terribly for attempting to disobey me? If so, prepare yourself to be disillusioned. Ditras, send to the stablemen�s quarters for Hafner to attend me at once! Lord Clarion requires another dose of his sedative, and afterward he will also require a beating.�

His mother�s expression had turned triumphant, which would have sickened Rion if he hadn�t already felt so ill. Hafner was a giant of a man with incredible strength and the mind of a child, a longtime servant of Mother�s who would do exactly as she commanded. Ditras had hesitated a very long moment before bowing his reluctant acquiescence to the order, during which time Rion had tried to struggle to his feet. His body felt as though it weighed ten times what it should, but he couldn�t simply sit there and allow himself to be turned into a broken toy�

Oh no! Will one of our protagonists actually have to suffer permanent consequences?

quote:

�I don�t think sending for other people is a very good idea,� a female voice said suddenly, a voice Rion had feared that he would never hear again.

Of course not. This is a Green novel.

quote:

�I�ve always preferred small, cozy groups like this one, with no more than five people in them. No, don�t get up. I won�t be staying long enough to require courtesies.�

�How did you get in here?� Mother demanded of Tamrissa after shooting to her feet, her back ruler-straight and her face registering shocked outrage. �I was assured I would never have to be dirtied by the presence of your sort again�! Rovelon, run and fetch the guard at once! And when you return you may pack your belongings and go without another copper in pay, in punishment for having admitted her in the first place!�

�But, my lady, I didn�t!� Rovelon protested wildly, shrinking back as far from Tamrissa as it was possible to go. �I simply opened the door to a knock as I was supposed to do, and she � forced her way in over my protests! She also required me to lead her in here, and how was I supposed to refuse?�

�Perhaps I�m mistaken, but you do appear to be larger than the trollop,� Mother returned acidly as she glared at the quivering man. �Take her by the hair if necessary, but remove her from my presence at once!�

�I hadn�t realized how really stupid you are,� Tamrissa commented to Mother as she stopped beside Rion to take his hand and touch his face. �Anyone else would have realized immediately that something other than physical size is involved here.

Seriously. Personal security should be a HUGE business in the Blendingverse. When 90% of your population can wield elemental magic, it's really insane that the government's half-assed conditioning attempts where people are both allowed and also not allowed to use their talents are enough to stop people from...using their talents. Especially when it's ambiguous whether said conditioning was applied to the nobility in the first place.

(I know Hallina is meant to be read as a dumb entitled character but I'm really sick of the number of dumb entitled characters in these novels; they don't make for engaging antagonists.)

quote:

Just be easy, Rion. We�ll be gone from this place in another minute or two.�

�You are not taking my son from me a second time!� Mother shouted as Rion�s heart leaped in happiness, the woman�s face going even more red. �This time I�ll see you sent to the deep mines, a place I know you�ll never return from! Ditras, Rovelon�!�

�That�s enough!� Tamrissa snapped as she straightened, and her return glare was accompanied by long tongues of flame burning the air between her and the two male servants. �Not only won�t you two interfere, you�ll come over here and help Lord Rion to the front door. If you try anything else, it will be the last thing you ever try. And as for you�.�

Tamrissa turned to Mother with that, and Rion could see how the older woman had paled. She also fought not to cringe from the awful strength Tamrissa had displayed, but wasn�t completely successful.

�As for you, you�ll have the chance to call the guard once we�ve gone,� Tamrissa continued, her voice implacable. �If you do, you�ll find out just what �vindictive� means. They won�t really have a chance against me, and if I have to burn them, I�ll come back to do the same to you. Even if I have to follow you halfway across the empire to do it. We � trollops are like that. Do you understand me?�

Mother nodded spasmodically, the fear in her eyes something Rion had never expected to see. For once in her life, Mother was being wise. She made no effort to call Tamrissa a liar, as anyone with eyes and the sense of a nit could see that the beautiful girl wasn�t bluffing. If Mother forced Tamrissa to kill a group of guardsmen, Mother would pay for it with her own life.

So this passage implies Hallina Mardimil has Fire magic. Apart from this one instance, I don't think her talent is ever canonized elsewhere in the text.

quote:

�All right, it�s time for us to leave,� Tamrissa said briskly, looking back to the two servants. �Come over here and help this man.�

Rovelon looked as though he were trying to turn invisible as he came forward reluctantly, but Ditras obeyed without hesitation�and with hooded satisfaction in his eyes. The two men helped Rion to his feet, where Rion paused to look at Mother one last time.

�You had best hope that I truly am maimed in my talent,� he said in the coldest voice he was capable of, all the loathing he felt undoubtedly clear in his eyes. �If I�m not and we happen to meet again, I�ll rid this world of your evil even if the act has to be paid for with my own life.�

Rion had the satisfaction of seeing her go chalk white, after which he paid attention to forcing his body into moving properly. Apparently she�d believed him, which would hopefully keep her from interfering in his life again. In point of fact he�d never be able to harm her, despite what she�d done�and had planned to do�to him. For too many years she�d been the heart and spirit and anchor of his life, and one doesn�t easily get over that.

Too bad we're not seeing any of this, other than sentences like this in your narration that tell us how you're super affected by it.

quote:

Nor was it easy to reach the front door. The house had never seemed so large before, and it felt as though he trudged miles before reaching his destination. Sweat stood out on his face and he leaned heavily on the two men assisting him, but the thought of stopping even for a brief rest never entered his mind. He was on the way to being free again, and that end was worth any price he might be required to pay.

�Don�t worry, Rion, we�re almost there,� Tamrissa said from where she walked just ahead, turning to look at him with the worry she�d suggested he not have. �The coach is right outside, so you�ll be sitting down again soon. Are you all right?�

�Better than I�ve been in days, actually,� Rion panted in answer, then he tried a grin. �And allow me to say how lovely you look in that gown.�

I don't know whether I love or hate this line. It's utterly in character for Rion and it's also the kind of line where if Vallant had said it, I'd be up in arms about how sexist it is. Because it is extremely sexist to compliment a woman for her appearance and her clothing instead of complimenting her abilities.

quote:

�Oh, you,� she half scolded with a relieved laugh. �Just save your strength for walking.�

That seemed like an eminently sensible idea, so Rion complied without argument. When he and the men holding him up reached the door, Tamrissa had already opened it.

�Now take him to the coach and put him inside,� she ordered, most of her attention on him rather than them. �And I have to say that I don�t understand how you men can work for a woman like that. Personally, I�d rather starve.�

�When a man has a family, he�s forced to do any number of unpleasant things to see them fed,� Ditras replied after a moment, making no effort to meet her gaze. �I might well choose the same starvation, but I have no right to ask my family to.�

�No capable man willing to work will ever starve,� Tamrissa returned, having gone ahead to open the coach door. �If you haven�t looked for a job that doesn�t turn your stomach, it isn�t because of your family, it�s because you don�t believe in yourself. And the only one who can change that situation is you.�

Wow. Just wow. That's some real, entitled, "it's you and not the system" and "privilege doesn't exist" attitude right there.

quote:

This time Ditras made no reply, but Rion was pleased to see that the man appeared to be thinking about what he�d heard. Chances were excellent that both he and Rovelon would now find themselves unemployed, as Mother would want no one around to remind her of her embarrassment. Not getting her own way had always been furiously embarrassing to Mother, even though it had rarely happened�.

Screw Our Heroes; let's treat all of the books to date as a gigantic prologue for the buddy adventures of Ditras and Rovelon. I'm pretty sure it'd be more interesting.

quote:

Climbing into the coach was almost more than Rion could accomplish, but the delightful shock of seeing Naran awaiting him inside helped him to tap unsuspected reservoirs of strength.

quote:

The servants pushed from behind and Naran took his hand and pulled, and the next moment he sat beside her on the coach seat with his arms about her. As he�d never thought to hold her like this again, the experience went far beyond mere pleasure.

That last sentence tells me nothing.

quote:

�Thank you, gentlemen, and good luck to you,� Rion heard Tamrissa say. He looked up in time to see her hand a coin to each of the servants, which put shocked expressions on their faces. Ditras recovered quickly enough to assist Tamrissa into the coach, then their driver had started them moving away from the house and back down the drive.

�I gave each of them a gold din,� Tamrissa said with satisfaction as she settled herself on the seat opposite. �I�d originally meant to give them silver, but I have the feeling they�ll be needing the gold.�

In a city with a corrupt guard and corrupt nobility, two unemployed commoners each in possession of a gold coin aren't suspicious at all. In our hypothetical buddy adventure story, the very next scene would be Ditras and Rovelon being robbed.

quote:

�May I ask where you got the gold?� Rion put in, for the most part occupied with how wonderful it felt to be holding Naran again. �And for that matter, where did you two marvelous delights come from? I was certain I was very much on my own.�

�I knew where Tamrissa was being held, so I simply took this coach there and waited for her to escape,� Naran replied, snuggling even more closely to him. �I would have had no chance of freeing you all by myself, otherwise I would have come here first.

I can't tell whether she's saying this because she's playing the "I'm just a simple girl who isn't a High practitioner" part or because Book 5 spoilers she couldn't See any way for her to rescue Rion.

quote:

Are you all right, my love? She didn�t torment you completely beyond bearing, did she?�

�The situation was about to turn considerably worse,� Rion replied with a smile, refusing to think about might-have-beens. �The thing disturbing me most, though, is the way my mother spoke about my talent being permanently damaged. She said it has to do with my having been pulled out of the Blending so abruptly, and the truth is I� can�t reach the power no matter how hard I try�.�

Speaking the words had been very difficult for Rion, the fear being a good deal more manageable while those words remained unspoken. His talent was all he possessed in the world; without it he would be useless, less than a man and completely unworthy of the woman he loved so �

Get ready for a totally inadequate exploration of this issue that we already know based on Tamrissa's experience to be a nothing burger via not one, but TWO viewpoint characters.

quote:

�You can�t reach the power because of the hilsom powder,� Tamrissa said quickly, reaching across to touch his hand in support. �I felt the same way at first, but when the powder wore off I was just as good as new. Your mother could have been lying to you the same way Lanir lied to me, or maybe they both thought they were telling the truth. With as little as people really know about Blendings, believing what might just be an opinion would he foolish.�

�That makes a great deal of sense,� Rion agreed, relief and hope flowing in to warm away fear and tragedy, but then he frowned.

The way this is used as a point of tension in MULTIPLE VIEW POINTS and then immediately resolved makes NO sense.

quote:

�You said �Lanir� told you the same thing. Who is Lanir, and how was it that you were able to escape him?�

�Lord Lanir Porvin was the noble I told you about, the one who decided to claim me,� Tamrissa said, looking more grimly pleased than disturbed. �He was Seated High in Fire magic, and was stupid enough to depend on the orders he gave me while I was under the influence of Puredan.

In Lanir's defense, he had good reason to believe this would be safe. Though really, he should have gotten the aid of a Middle or a High in Spirit magic to make sure of it.

quote:

After giving me the Puredan he let the hilsom powder wear off, thinking he was perfectly safe. When he discovered he wasn�t, he pushed his Middle talent too far and burned himself out.�

�Then the order I gave directing you not to obey any other orders worked!� Naran exclaimed, sounding equally as pleased. �None of us knew if it would, but now we�ve found out in the best way possible.�

It's a Dumb One Weird Trick schtick that Green will never get tired of. This particular one pops up in all her mind control books.

quote:

�We certainly have,� Rion agreed, hugging her one-armed. �And if we look at it properly, you�re directly responsible for helping me to regain my freedom. Not that Tamrissa isn�t to be thanked as well�.�

�What I did needs no thanks,� Tamrissa assured him with a light laugh just as Rion began to worry that he might have upset her. �If you only knew how much I enjoyed doing that to such a pompous, self-indulgent woman � But I�ll admit that what�s ahead will be even more enjoyable. That Eltrina Razas needs more than simple taking-down, and I�m just the woman to do it.�

Everybody here is despicable�and worse, not even interesting despicable.

quote:

�Eltrina Razas,� Rion echoed, touched by sudden understanding. �She succeeded in securing Vallant for her own purposes, then, and we�re about to free him, I take it. What may I do to assist you?�

�You can stay with Naran and keep her from fretting herself into a skeleton from needing to wait,� Tamrissa replied at once. �You can also let your system wash away the hilsom powder, so that when the guard comes after us, I won�t have to hold them off alone.�

�Do you really think they�ll come after us?� Rion asked, abruptly more than a little disturbed. �Mother would never risk her precious hide, not even to get revenge, and I�m certain she believed what you said to her. Do you expect Lord Lanir�s people to be the ones to send them?�

�Once Vallant is free, there will be three noble households involved,� Tamrissa replied with a sigh.

Could it be? Might we have a super exciting escape sequence for a change?

quote:

�Most people would have the good sense to accept their defeat and give up the game as a bad idea, but something tells me that one or more of these nobles won�t do any such intelligent thing. We�ll have to leave the city as soon as we possibly can, which means we now have the time to hear how Naran found us. Naran?�

�Actually, we don�t have the time,� Naran disagreed apologetically.

She's right; this is a BAD time for it Tamrissa.

quote:

�Eltrina Razas�s house is only a short way up this road,

how close are all these people living together? How big is this city? :psyduck:

quote:

and we shouldn�t be deep in distracting conversation when we get there. Besides, you have to understand how many people I know �

Nobody understands this, because every time you've been in the scene, you're either just Rion's sex object or a magical plot device.

quote:

and how frantic I was when the five of you failed to come home � I couldn�t just sit there and make you do it all by yourselves��

�You�re right, Naran, we can discuss it later,� Tamrissa said hurriedly when Naran�s voice grew uneven and her rate of breathing increased.

I hate this. Naran as a character has so much potential and it's all just...wasted.

quote:

�You ought to be told, though, how grateful I am that you didn�t just sit there. If not for you, I�d probably still be trudging down Lanir�s drive, wondering if I�d reach the road before dawn.�

quote:

Naran�s agitation eased with that, especially since Rion had put his arms about her again. He would wait with her in the coach because that was all he was currently capable of doing, but the helplessness still rankled. And all he could do beyond that was hope he didn�t nod off while they waited�.

You absolutely should, because you won't miss anything.

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back. During dinner, she is forced to experience an Obvious Plot Recap as well as her father's own humiliation from Lord Lanir.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Kambil and his mind slaves stake out Zolind's dinner party and puppet him around to a super lame script, in which Zolind lets loose about how he's really mad that Delin killed his lover, Ollon, and that's why he'll never Seat any Blending with Delin in it. After this incredibly on the nose forced villain monologue, Kambil and co kill Zolind via a heart attack and leave, very chuffed with themselves.

After dinner, Lanir takes Tamrissa back to the bedroom with every intention of raping her violently but burns himself out trying to kill her once he realizes she's got her talent back. She escapes, after drinking two cups of tea, and is picked up by Naran, who has very conveniently done all the hard work of putting an escape and rescue plan together. They head straight for the Mardimil estate where Tamrissa rescues Rion from being beaten to a pulp by ~~Hodor~~ Hafner and then drugged into oblivion by threatening everyone with fire.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 52 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes, Ditras, Rovelon

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 33 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Mardimil house in Gan Garee, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house, outside Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 27 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x1), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 126 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 59 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 19 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 35 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 129 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 68 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 76 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 38 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 23(5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 13, including 3 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 1 in Book 4, which is a rape scene)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)
FREEEEEDOOOOM! (Book 4: Chapter 6, Tamrissa; Chapter 7, Rion)
I'm nothing without my talent (Book 4: Chapter 7, Rion)

Possible fixes:
Yawn. This has even less suspense compared to the chapter before. We know nothing bad is going to happen to Rion�there's no indication that there's even a chance Tamrissa and Naran might be too late. Tamrissa's got full control of her powers, and even if she didn't, her talent is Fire so it's not like a rescue job requires fine control: she could just light things up in a sloppy manner and they'd still get away. I don't care about Rion's dilemma because we already know from Tamrissa's example that he's gonna get his powers back just fine.

Introducing any element that might have prolonged suspense would have helped! Having Rovelon turn out to be a pretty strong Water talent, unexpected traffic in the roads, their carriage getting pulled up by guards, losing a carriage wheel, one of the horses going lame�I'm really reaching for examples now but anything at all would have been better than this.

Leng fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Sep 6, 2022

# ? Sep 6, 2022 02:23

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Trigger warning for more attempted rape :siren:

quote:

CHAPTER EIGHT

Vallant had dozed any number of times during the last hours, but at least he�d been able to keep himself from falling deeply asleep. It was only a small way of fighting against the drug in his system, but it was still better than nothing.

that's...not the reason I would have expected from Vallant, who is supposed to be this well-traveled sea captain who has visited every major port in the empire.

quote:

At one point a servant had appeared with a tray of food, and had tried to feed him. The food might very well have had more of the drug in it, so Vallant had pretended to be too confused and logy to eat it even with the servant�s help. The servant had left again acting frustrated and annoyed, and Vallant had gone back to fighting the drug while feeling hungrier than ever.

THIS PROSE. :bang:

It's just full of filler words that weaken an already weak passage.

quote:

Now there was the sound of the lock being thrown again, but Vallant hadn�t regained enough control of himself to take advantage of it. He wanted to jump to his feet and fight his way out of that room and house, but simply opening his eyes to see who his visitor was seemed to be the most success he was able to claim.

�You�re beginning to really annoy me,� the Razas woman announced when she stopped beside the bed to look down at him. �I�ve just been told that you didn�t eat anything, but that won�t be permitted to continue. When I give you back you have to be in good condition, so after I enjoy you�thoroughly this time!�you�ll eat everything you�re brought. Do you understand me?�

�Have we met?� Vallant asked innocently as he pretended to study her face. �I�m not havin� luck rememberin� things, like how I got to this place. And what was that you said we were goin� to do?�

�Not we, I, � she corrected, looking more annoyed than ever. � I�m going to enjoy myself, and whether or not you have any pleasure is entirely irrelevant. And don�t even think about asking me any questions. You can�t seem to remember the answers from one minute to the next, which I�m now told happens at times with that sedative. As if the fool couldn�t have mentioned that in the first place.

...why Green felt the need to undermine Vallant's one moment where he's actually doing something interesting and distinct from the other characters I do not know. It's as if she doesn't trust her readers to extrapolate based on context so she spells everything out. But then leaves glaring plot holes and inconsistent characterization everywhere else. :psyduck:

quote:

Take that sheet off you.�

As she spoke she opened her wrap and slipped out of it, then stood naked in a pose she must have considered arousing. Vallant couldn�t imagine any situation in which he would find Eltrina Razas attractive or desirable, not to mention the fact that her presence made the room even smaller. Those two factors combined to add to the woman�s displeasure when she lost patience and pulled the sheet off him herself.

�This is beginning to be a good deal less than amusing,� she growled when she saw his lack of readiness, the look in her eyes close to fury.

Reminder that Eltrina has Earth magic and that Vallant is totally cut off from the power. She technically can use her talent to stimulate the physical reaction that she wants out of Vallant.

quote:

�I went to a great deal of trouble to have you even for this short amount of time, and early tomorrow morning they�ll be coming to take you back. I will have my enjoyment of you before then, even if you have to spend most of the intervening hours in that tiny box I had prepared. Do you really want to be put into that tiny box?�

Vallant tried to keep the terror from touching him, but even the sedative in his system wasn�t able to do that. The mere suggestion that he�d have to face the equivalent of being buried alive was enough to set his heart pounding and his sweat to turn cold, but it did something else as well.

�Ah, I see there�s something you do remember,� the Razas woman said with a laugh, reaching down to caress him. �We can just dispense with the rest, then, and concentrate on your only current value. Here I come!�

Her tone had changed to a playful one as she came down onto the bed to bestride him, but not to immediately impale herself. She leaned forward first to kiss his face and lick his lips, teasing his arousal with her womanhood. The humiliation was intensely painful for Vallant and so was the revulsion he felt, but nothing seemed able to displace the terror. If he protested in any way she would have him put into that box, and he simply couldn�t bear the thought of it�

FFS, again with downplaying rape in favor of overplaying the situational claustrophobia. :wtf:

quote:

�How dare you just walk in here!� the woman suddenly snarled as she looked toward the door. Vallant had heard the door opening, but the sound hadn�t done more than register vaguely in his awareness. �Get out this instant, and go and pack your things. You no longer have a��

Her words broke off as she colored even more, and then Vallant saw rage explode in her eyes. The doorway was all the way back to the right and well out of his line of sight, so Vallant had no idea about what was happening until he heard the voice.

Guess who?

quote:

�I find it really amusing that all you so-called nobles tend to say the same thing,� were the words spoken, very dryly. � �How dare you, how dare you��as though any normal person needs permission to interrupt you freaks during your perversions. That pile of clothing in the corner appears to be his, so move your oversize backside away from him while this servant dresses him.�

Such a promising start, only for it to all fall down when Green's mouthpiece has to resort to insulting Eltrina's appearance because she's a woman and so of course the most devastating insult out of the three is "your rear end is huge".

quote:

�You have the nerve to come into my house and try to give orders?� the Razas woman spat in response, nevertheless rising quickly to her feet. �You�re even more stupid than you are useless, you ignorant peasant, and it will be my pleasure to��

Once again Razas�s words broke off, this time with a small shriek as she stumbled back. She�d begun to stalk toward the door, but a heavy wall of flame had erupted into the air in front of her, driving her quickly back.

Cue obligatory antagonist routine wherein the low talent person in a position of wealth and power blithely pisses off someone they know to be a High talent.

quote:

At that point Vallant could have wept. It was Tamrissa who had appeared, and she�d seen everything.

She had to USE MAGIC before you recognized it was her???

quote:

� �Useless� isn�t precisely the right term to apply to me,� Tamrissa said, her words still very dry. �As you can see I do have one use, and I�m still extremely good at it. Have you ever seen someone of my strength burn something from the inside out? The trick is to keep the outside from going up until the inside is completely consumed, but it isn�t nearly as hard as it sounds.

Psychotic Tamrissa is terrifying and the only good part of this scene.

quote:

For the second and last time, get out of the way so the servant can dress him.�

�How far do you think you�ll get once you leave here?� Razas demanded, nevertheless moving back to allow the husky male servant

why would Vallant notice this detail about the servant? It's so uncharacteristic.

quote:

to reach the pile of clothing on the floor beside the chest. �I�ll have the guard after you so fast that you�ll think they appeared out of thin air! And when Lanir gets his hands on you again, you�ll spend a long time regretting whatever trick you used to get away from him!�

�Lanir won�t ever be getting his hands on anyone again,� Tamrissa commented, faint amusement now in her voice. �You fools had a lot of nerve, letting him call himself the Seated High. Seated Middle was more like it, but he isn�t even that any longer. And you really ought to understand: if you send guardsmen after me and force me to kill them, I�ll consider myself honor bound to come back and do the same to you. Even if you run away and try to hide. I�ll still find you, and then you�ll learn the most efficient way to slow-roast meat.�

Is that wall of flame still going? Because Eltrina's been keeping Vallant in a closet, and there's now four people, none of whom are Air magic talents pulling in fresh air, which means that they should all probably be passing out from the lack of oxygen right about now.

quote:

Razas paled at that, and the hands of the nervous male servant dressing Vallant began to tremble even more. It wasn�t possible to believe that Tamrissa wasn�t serious, and both of her listeners knew it.

If Green eliminated every instance of the phrase "it wasn't possible to" from her prose, it would read 200000x better.

quote:

�But you can�t take him,� Razas whispered, her pasty complexion showing the fear which now touched her.

Holy redundancy :doh:

quote:

�They�ll be here to reclaim him tomorrow morning, and if I can�t produce him�! I�ll pay you gold. Name a price and it�s yours.�

�You can�t afford me,� Tamrissa commented dismissively.

We could have gotten a really good, interesting negotiation scene.

quote:

�And if his being gone will bring you grief, so much the better. What were they going to do with him?�

�Why should I know or care?� Razas countered, beginning to look frantic as she bent to retrieve her wrap and put it on. �But you can�t let this happen to me, not to me. I�ve almost gotten the power I was always meant to have, so you simply can�t interfere. I�ll give you a thousand gold dins if you just go away, or I�ll use that thousand to buy someone with Fire magic stronger than yours.�

But no, we're getting this instead.

quote:

�For some reason you seem to be deliberately trying to miss the point,� Tamrissa said, without the anger which could normally be expected.

How about...just writing a better line of dialogue so Tamrissa's tone is clear without having to spell it out in the dialogue tag?

quote:

�There�s no one left with Fire magic even as strong as mine, never mind stronger. Even the Blending we faced in the final competition couldn�t match us, and I suspect that the same can be said of the Seated Five. None of your misnamed Highs and Adepts could do anything like� this, for instance.�

Razas shrieked as the wrap she�d put on began to burn, then terror silenced her as well as freezing her in place. She stood trembling with her fists and eyes closed tight, and in a moment the wrap was completely consumed.

�There, you see?� Tamrissa asked lazily. �There�s nothing left of your wrap but ash, and yet not the least bit of your skin was burned. That should show that I can reach you even if you try to hide in a tight knot of innocent servants, so remember what I said about summoning the guard.

Remember this moment.

quote:

Now we�ll be leaving, so help him up.�

That last was to the servant who had finished dressing him, but not in the robe and sandals he�d worn during the competition. Someone had apparently retrieved the pants, shirt, and shoes he�d worn getting to the competition, and that was what he now wore.

Seriously the logistics of this makes no sense, unless you assume clothing logistics matter because Green didn't want Vallant to look less handsome by having to wear clothes that weren't made for him.

quote:

The servant pulled him up to sitting and then hoisted him to his feet, but even with his arm draped around the servant�s neck and the servant�s arm around his middle, Vallant discovered that he could barely stand, let alone walk.

�Give him all the help he needs,� Tamrissa directed the servant, stepping aside to clear the doorway. �If it becomes necessary, carry him.�

The servant nodded with a grunt and began to half drag him toward the door, and Vallant had never been so mortified in his entire life. Tamrissa was as beautiful and vital as ever, and there he was, being hauled along like a useless side of beef. How many times was he supposed to accept being humiliated in front of her without dying from the shame? He didn�t know, but even one more time would have been too much.

You could just drop dead right now?

quote:

For that reason he gritted his teeth and forced himself to walk, if that dragging shuffle could be called walking�.

�I think it�s best if you stay in this room until someone lets you out, Eltrina,� Tamrissa said as Vallant was hurried toward the door. The last glimpse he�d had of Razas was the way she still stood rooted to the spot, her eyes now open and visibly filled with fear.

Spoilers for Book 5: Eltrina has a pretty significant arc as far as antagonists go for the rest of this book and the next, and this is such a missed opportunity to characterize her motivations

quote:

�Your people will be told that you don�t want to be disturbed, and I suggest that you make no effort to call for help. The longer you stay locked up and out of touch, the better off you�ll be if the guard comes looking for us after all. It won�t save your life, but it will certainly save you a great deal of pain.�

Vallant heard a sobbing moan come from Razas, and then the servant maneuvered him out of the room and began to guide him up the hall. Behind him he heard the sound of the door being closed and locked, and then Tamrissa moved ahead to lead the way. The way she glanced at him said he wasn�t doing well at all with moving on his own�as though he needed to be told. Vallant made sure to avoid her gaze, concentrating instead on trying to keep up with the servant.

By the time they reached the front hall of the house, Vallant was drenched in sweat and gasping. He�d dreaded the thought that there might be stairs to descend, but his prison had been located at the back of the house rather than on an upper floor. Tamrissa moved forward to open the front door, then followed once the servant had him outside.

�Give me a moment and I�ll have the coach door open,� she said, but the expected delay wasn�t necessary. Naran leaned forward to open the coach door from the inside, and the servant grunted as he lifted Vallant bodily and put him inside on the empty bench seat. Rion shared the seat opposite with Naran, and to Vallant the man looked almost as bad off as himself. That thought cheered Vallant not at all, but it was useful to help him ignore the way he�d been treated like an infant.

Vallant you self-absorbed, selfish rear end. Your first reaction upon seeing Rion and Naran is "oh thank god I'm not the only one who looks weak and incapable in front of my woman", not concern for Rion?

quote:

�Here, take this for your trouble,� Vallant heard Tamrissa say, and he turned his head in time to see her handing something to the servant. �I�ll appreciate your telling the other servants not to disturb Eltrina, and then you�ll be wise to pack your things and leave. Even if you go and release her at once instead, she�ll never keep you around after you witnessed what was done to her.�

The servant�s expression said he knew that Tamrissa was right, and his curt nod was one of full agreement.

How dumb does Tamrissa think the servants are? Nobody survives working for a horrid boss without knowing ten different methods of self-preservation.

quote:

He headed back to the house with his fist wrapped tight around the coin he�d been given, and Tamrissa climbed into the coach and closed the door behind her before taking the seat beside Vallant.

�The least he could have done was help me into the coach,� she muttered as she fought her skirts straight,

This entitled attitude from the supposed champions of the downtrodden common-born, right after she's warned the servant about his own perilous situation.

quote:

her gaze already on his face. �Vallant, are you all right? You haven�t said even a single word yet.�

�Where is this coach takin� us?� Vallant obliged in a croak, looking through the window rather than at Tamrissa. �Somewhere where we can eat and sleep for a while, I hope.�

�We need to stop back at Tamrissa�s house,� Naran said, sounding faintly disturbed. �I packed some clothing for everyone, so all we have to do is pick it up. Along with any food we can find.

you had time to pack clothes beforehand and organize a coach to pick you up but you...didn't put the luggage into the coach? Book 5 spoilers I refuse to believe anybody who is supposedly the strongest Sight magic talent ever isn't also a master of logistics :psypop:

quote:

After that we�ll have to find some place to hide, at least until we locate Jovvi and Lorand. Once we do we�ll get out of the city � Vallant, you haven�t said yet whether or not you�re all right.�

�He�s probably no more �all right� than I am,� Rion said after a moment when it became clear that Vallant had no intention of replying. �That damnable drug has taken all my strength both physical and magical, but when it wears off I expect to be able to touch the power again and find myself unchanged. Mother insisted that being pulled out of the Blending so abruptly had caused me irreparable damage, Vallant, but I mean to prove her wrong and I expect you to join me in the endeavor.�

Once again Vallant felt the clutch of fear, this time in regard to his ability. He could vaguely remember someone saying the same thing about him, that his strength would never again be what it had been. Finding out they�d spoken the truth would surprise him very little, especially after the rest of what he�d gone through�.

quote:

�Vallant, isn�t there anything else you can think of to say?� Tamrissa asked after another short silence, her hand coming to his arm. �What I mean is, something to me?�

�Oh, yes, forgive me for forgettin�,� Vallant forced out, still making sure not to look at her. �You have my thanks for gettin� me out of that place, since it�s perfectly obvious I couldn�t have gotten myself out. Now I think I need to rest a while.�

Vallant.

quote:

It was perfectly true that Vallant needed rest desperately, but what he needed even more was an end to the way Tamrissa was certainly looking at him: with compassion and pity. Just two days ago he�d been a full, strong man in her eyes, and now � Now she would never see him the same. She�d witnessed his humiliation and shame, so from now on she�d remember that every time she looked at him. A weakling who had to be rescued by the woman he�d loved when he was whole, a woman he still loved but who now could do no more than pity him.

Behold the return of :emo:

king Vallant. I'd forgotten that he is worse than sexist rear end Vallant.

quote:

After a short hesitation her hand left his arm, and happily she said nothing more. Vallant continued to stare out the window, wishing with his entire being that he might be back and alone in that small, windowless room�so that he might weep like a child for all that he�d lost�.

I can't even.

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back. During dinner, she is forced to experience an Obvious Plot Recap as well as her father's own humiliation from Lord Lanir.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Kambil and his mind slaves stake out Zolind's dinner party and puppet him around to a super lame script, in which Zolind lets loose about how he's really mad that Delin killed his lover, Ollon, and that's why he'll never Seat any Blending with Delin in it. After this incredibly on the nose forced villain monologue, Kambil and co kill Zolind via a heart attack and leave, very chuffed with themselves.

After dinner, Lanir takes Tamrissa back to the bedroom with every intention of raping her violently but burns himself out trying to kill her once he realizes she's got her talent back. She escapes, after drinking two cups of tea, and is picked up by Naran, who has very conveniently done all the hard work of putting an escape and rescue plan together. They head straight for the Mardimil estate where Tamrissa rescues Rion from being beaten to a pulp by ~~Hodor~~ Hafner and then drugged into oblivion by threatening everyone with fire. Next, they head to the Razas estate and Tamrissa saves Vallant mid-rape (which, thanks to Vallant's situationally convenient claustrophobia, is less horrifying to him than the thought of being imprisoned in a box). He, of course, cannot cope with this blatant reversal of gender roles and proceeds to descend into sulkery to bemoan the loss of his stature as a man, etc.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 52 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes, Ditras, Rovelon

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 33 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Mardimil house in Gan Garee, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house, outside Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3; 1 in Book 4)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x2), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 126 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 59 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 19 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 35 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 130 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 69 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 76 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 38 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 9 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 23(5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 14, including 4 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 2 in Book 4, 2 of which are rape scenes)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)
FREEEEEDOOOOM! (Book 4: Chapter 6, Tamrissa; Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)
I'm nothing without my talent (Book 4: Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)

Possible fixes:
We do not need to be in Vallant's head for this chapter. We already got the "Tamrissa is a Strong Woman doing Strong Woman Things like the Rescuing" message, we don't need to get it again. We got no further insight into the nobility. We learned nothing new about Vallant. This event does advance the Valissa relationship but since this is supposed to be an ensemble cast narrative and not the standard romance single or dual POV, I don't think we need to see it from either of their perspectives. (Though if I'm being honest, I think the books would read a lot better if their entire relationship was treated as the running gag that it is, instead of Passionate Tumultuous True Love.)

Give me this scene from Eltrina's POV. Let me see how it's possible for a complacent noble, secure in her knowledge of the corrupted system, to be utterly incapable of recognizing the very real danger she's in. Show us how terrifying it is, to know that you're going to burn alive, and then the whiplash of realizing you're still alive because the deranged escaped common-born Fire talent is so strong that she can burn the clothes off you without so much as singeing a hair on your head. Stronger than you are. Stronger than an entire company of guardsmen. Stronger than the newly Seated Blending, who themselves are so strong that they terrify you. And then let the horror of all that sink in as you work through the implications for life as you know it, until you conclude that Drastic Measures are needed. Old feuds need to be put aside. Jockeying for position will have to wait. Forget about schemes to put the newly Seated Blending under control, because if the nobility doesn't stop its infighting, Tamrissa and her friends are gonna destroy the whole system and nothing and no one is strong enough to stop them.

And in one chapter, spoilers for the rest of this first series we cut out all of the useless hand wringing and running around in circles that the antagonists are gonna do in undermining themselves for the rest of this book and the next and made every single one of Eltrina's subsequent POVs more compelling.

# ? Sep 20, 2022 03:45

Kchama: Jul 25, 2007

I think the thing about mistaking contempt for pity is that it's suppose to be that he's seeing the same expression and misinterpreting it the first time, but understanding it properly when he sees it as pity.

As for the third-person mother thing, I'm pretty sure it was actually a very common third in 'Victorian' era anyways. Never mind it's not something completely unheard of TODAY.

# ? Sep 25, 2022 15:06

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

Leng posted:

you had time to pack clothes beforehand and organize a coach to pick you up but you...didn't put the luggage into the coach? Book 5 spoilers I refuse to believe anybody who is supposedly the strongest Sight magic talent ever isn't also a master of logistics

I can only assume she was afraid she might give herself away?

I'm sure the real answer is they needed an excuse to drink more tea and repeat themselves.

# ? Sep 27, 2022 06:43

A Small Car: Aug 24, 2016

Leng posted:

A quick tangentially on-topic self promo post! So I mentioned earlier in the thread that I wrote and published a book:

Link: https://books2read.com/petition

Similarities to the Blendingverse:

Everyone has magic!

There is a character who has a thing for baths

There is an actual ~~scene~~ paragraph about a character taking a bath

Okay, there might be quite a few paragraphs about baths. I guess something of Green's bath obsession snuck into my writing. I did totally facepalm when I realized what I was writing. Sorry.

There are uppity "House-born" who look down upon the "common-born"

The main plot is also a job interview disguised as a tournament

There is a murder mystery

There is sex

There is violence

There are at least two scenes with the viewpoint character obsessing over the food

We open with a prologue

Differences to the Blendingverse:

Everyone has Spirit magic

Spirit magic is more than just turning people into mind slaves

Everyone is also theoretically capable of Blendingverse Book 5 spoilers Sight magic

The bath-related paragraphs are not repetitive!

The job interview is not for the throne; it's just a normal job interview, albeit for a very prestigious, lucrative job that grants you pseudo-nobility as a perk

There is a satisfying resolution to the murder mystery

The sex scene is not icky

The violence is more visceral

The conversations that happen over meals aren't inane

The prologue isn't a pseudo history textbook

There's one primary viewpoint character, and two viewpoint characters total

Here are some goon endorsements from the main SFF and KU threads:

It's on sale for Amazon Prime Day until the end of July 14 for $1.99 USD (or approx for non-US folks) and free to read if you have Kindle Unlimited, if you happen to be in the mood for something vaguely similar to the Blendingverse but not terrible.

Edit: I should thank Green, because this book would not exist if not for the Blendingverse. If The Blending had actually been decent, I wouldn't have gotten mad enough to attempt rewriting it, and if I hadn't done the rewrite, I wouldn't have had the guts to attempt writing my own original fiction.

So uh, thank you Sharon Green. For giving me both the realization that truly anyone can be a published author and the motivation to write good books.

Just popping in to give Leng's book a recommendation! There may be some slight similarities to the Blendingverse, but it is a vastly superior book! Honestly, it made me think more of Baru Cormorant than anything, and that series (that I think I may have picked up on Leng's recommendation) is one of my favorites. I intended to read Petition a little at a time while I was on vacation, and ended up staying up all night and reading it in one go - needless to say, I was hooked, and want more. Go buy her book!

# ? Oct 13, 2022 01:59

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

A Small Car posted:

Just popping in to give Leng's book a recommendation! There may be some slight similarities to the Blendingverse, but it is a vastly superior book! Honestly, it made me think more of Baru Cormorant than anything, and that series (that I think I may have picked up on Leng's recommendation) is one of my favorites. I intended to read Petition a little at a time while I was on vacation, and ended up staying up all night and reading it in one go - needless to say, I was hooked, and want more. Go buy her book!

This is the most awesome thing I've read all day! Scratch that, it's the most awesome thing I've seen all month. Thank you so much, this gave me a much needed boost while I've been struggling through the sequel.

# ? Oct 14, 2022 23:50

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER NINE�

It had grown very quiet in the coach, my own silence adding to the rest. It had also grown even chillier out, and for some reason I noticed it more now than I had after we�d gotten Rion away from his mother. But it was true that I felt tired. so maybe that accounted for it�.

Great proofreading going on here.

quote:

Outside the coach the night was also quiet.

Yes, yes, it's quiet and frozen with the chill of chilly silence and night. I get it.

quote:

Nothing but the creak of springs, the jingle of harness, and the clatter of the horses� hooves to be heard. I closed my eyes and embraced those small sounds,

Is...is that an attempt at writing better description? I'm shocked. And happy. And shocked at how happy I am to read this.

quote:

holding to them in an effort to ease the pain I foolishly felt. I�d told Jovvi that I expected my relationship with Vallant to end abruptly one day, and now, apparently, that day had come. I�d expected him to be as glad to see me as Rion had been to see Naran, but Rion had only been taken away from his mother. Vallant had been taken from Eltrina Razas, a female noble who really had an incredibly good figure, and it was impossible to deny that he�d been interested in her�.

OMFG. Although since Tamrissa's sex ed is very lacking, I guess it's reasonable for her to misunderstand that. But the fact that she thinks Vallant is emotionally interested in Eltrina just highlights the complete lack of basis for a strong relationship between these two characters. That or Tamrissa is actually socially inept, but all signs from textual evidence points to the fact that she's not supposed to be read that way.

quote:

Keeping my eyes closed also became impossible, the pictures my mind dredged up making it so. Vallant had been about to make love to Eltrina Razas, and I�d come bursting in to end the time. His annoyance was apparently so great that he couldn�t even look at me, and that despite the fact that he had to know he couldn�t have stayed.

quote:

The way he�d �thanked� me for saving him. I�d wanted just a few soft words of greeting, a strong arm around my shoulders, possibly even a kiss.

Okay, no arguments here. Vallant was being an absolute rear end about this.

quote:

But I�d gotten none of that, and there was no use in wishing I had. Wishing never came true, just the way hoping usually failed. For a short while I�d had someone to do my hoping for me, but it had become very clear that Vallant no longer wanted the job. It was up to me again to do it for myself, but I�d given up on the practice too long ago to take it up again now.

We did not need 4 sentences to express this one sentiment. Where was the copyeditor?

quote:

It took quite some time before I found it possible to force my thoughts onto another track, and the only thing which made it possible was our next destination. I had my own reasons for being glad that we were retiring briefly to my house, as Jovvi had shared a very important secret with me.

I�d already spent three gold dins of what I�d taken from Lanir, and it was impossible to know how much more it would take before Jovvi and Lorand were also free. For that reason I�d decided to retrieve the cache of gold Jovvi had left in the house, the savings she�d intended to use to start her own courtesan�s residence here in Gan Garee. Even if it turned out that I didn�t need to use any of it, at least I�d have it to hand back to her when she was with us again.

Oh hey, look at that�Green actually remembered something that she set up!

quote:

I found that I had to work rather hard to cling to the belief that Jovvi and Lorand would be with us again. Not even knowing where they were made the thought too much like wishing or hoping, which had, as already mentioned, always turned out badly for me. I had to make certain that I believed instead, with all the stubbornness that touching the power brought stacked up behind the belief�.

Why did we not just cover this same point in ONE paragraph?

quote:

When the coach finally turned into my drive, I was even more weary than I had been. Rion had fallen asleep quite some time ago, and so had Vallant Ro. They both sat slumped bonelessly, deeply into that lack of consciousness which I remembered all too well. Even Naran had kept nodding off, but the change in motion of the carriage awakened her, and she looked outside.

�I�m glad we�re finally here,� she said softly, obviously to keep from waking the men. �The servants all left the house late yesterday, before I left it myself. I�ll get the bags I packed, and then we can go to my friend�s house. She�s bound to have some idea about where we can hide until we find the others.�

Still waiting for an answer on why you didn't just...TAKE THE BAGS WITH YOU, Naran. Though maybe in the original draft she did, but it caused logistical problems with Tamrissa's need to go back and get Jovvi's gold.

quote:

�I�ll go inside with you,� I said, just as softly. �There are a few things of my own that I�d like to get, not to mention an additional change of clothing. I�m freezing in this ridiculous gown, and my feet still hurt. These slippers are for walking around indoors, not outside.�

OMFG shut up about the dress and the slippers. Naran would have packed a change of clothing for you!

quote:

�But shouldn�t you stay with the coach to guard Rion and Vallant?� she asked, sounding unsure. �I can understand your wanting to change, but what if someone comes by while we�re inside?�

�The driver can stand guard for a few minutes,� I said, shaking my head a little. �Just tell him to shout if there�s, any trouble, and I�ll take care of it by looking out a window.�

Is that because Tamrissa is The Strongest Fire Magic User Ever or is this normal for fire talents? Seriously, how is personal security NOT a huge business in Gan Garee?

quote:

�That should work,� she agreed with a shadowy smile. �I�ll tell him before we go inside.�

A pair of minutes later the coach pulled up by the front door, and Naran and I got out. The men continued to sleep soundly, so I went to the front door while Naran spoke to our driver. I�d expected the door to be looked and so it was, but that didn�t mean I had to burn it down in order for us to get inside�or use the window Naran probably had to leave by. A large potted shrub stood to each side of the door, and under the soil of the one to the right was a door key. My late husband had put it there years earlier, to be certain he would always be able to get back into his own house. I�d seen him checking on it once and afterward had found out what it was, but I�d never removed it even after his death. Right now I was very glad I hadn�t.

a rich rear end merchant putting a key under his fantasy-equivalent doormat so he doesn't get locked out? When he lives in a house full of servants? :bang:

quote:

The key let us in through the door without any difficulty, and I produced a small flame to light our way upstairs. Naran came with me and helped me change into warmer, more practical clothes in record time, and then I went with her to fetch the bags she�d packed.

We did not need all this logistics. But I very much sympathize with Green now: summarizing and managing time skips is hard to do effectively. Fonda Lee is very good at it and I am envious. I have sat there, staring at whole passages in Jade Legacy thinking to myself, "what is this witchery?" and have yet to figure out how she does it.

quote:

On the way I stopped at the statuette in the hall, groped around a bit to find the purse, then removed it.

�This belongs to Jovvi, and when we find her she�ll want it back,� I said in answer to Naran�s unspoken question. �I�m tempted to take some of this very expensive junk to sell, but I suspect it would be wasted effort. A legitimate buyer will want proof of ownership, and a larcenous one won�t give us more than a fraction of the piece�s worth.�

�And lugging it around until we find someone to buy it will be too much of a bother,� she agreed with a nod. �I have some gold so we ought to get by,

Why are we having this pedestrian exchange dialogue that doesn't reveal anything about these characters?!

quote:

but we�ll need more clothing for Rion. He only had those gray trousers and white shirts left, and his mother�s people took those. I packed extra clothing from Vallant�s bedchamber, but had to take only the uniform from Lorand�s. The rest of his clothing is almost as distinctive as Rion�s was.�

Why are we entirely focused on clothes!? Clothes are the least of your problems right now!

quote:

�Once we get the bags downstairs, let�s check the kitchen,� I suggested after nodding to what she�d said. �If they�ve left any food behind, we ought to take it with us.�

What????????? I'm getting mental images of Tamrissa just trying to throw the contents of a sizable estate's entire pantry into a travel trunk. This...this isn't how you pack when you're fleeing the empire as a wanted fugitive.

quote:

This time it was her turn to nod, and then we took care of the first part of the plan. There were five bags, none of them terribly heavy, so we got them down to the front hall rather quickly. A glance outside showed everything to be quiet, so we went back to the kitchen and looked around. Everything was perfectly clean and orderly, and there wasn�t a single crumb of food left. With no one around to keep the perishables cold that was understandable, but not finding even a single loaf of bread was somehow depressing.

so that was a pointless waste of words.

quote:

When we returned to the front hall we picked up the bags again�Naran insisting on taking three of them�carried them out to the coach, then put them in the boot. While Naran stowed them properly, I turned back to the house to relock the door. If it was at all possible, I meant to reclaim that house one day. Leaving it open to thieves and defense-less against invasion wasn�t something I felt prepared to do.

Uh, Tamrissa, it's pretty clear when a house is abandoned. If there was any logic to Green's world and plotting, thieves would be all over this joint in a few days.

quote:

I took two steps back toward the house�then stopped short when the large figure of a man came forward out of the shadows to the left. I quickly put a ring of flame around him, freezing him in mid step, then just as quickly let the flames die. I knew the man, even though I hadn�t expected ever to see him again.

�Popping up like that without warning can be dangerous, Dom Meerk,� I said to the man who had been helping Lorand locate his friend Hat.

Because Green's characters are that indistinct that we have to have POV characters tell us who they were again.

quote:

�I�m afraid Lorand isn�t here right now, and it�s extremely unlikely that any of us will be back in the near future. If there was something you wanted to tell him, I�ll do my best to pass on the message.�

�I didn�t mean to frighten you,� he said as he came closer, somehow no longer sounding quite as low-class as he always had.

You have written characters speaking in dialect before! It is also possible to convey things like class via things like vocabulary and phrasing. Why aren't any of these techniques used in Meerk's dialogue instead of these painful dialogue tags?

quote:

�I know what you�re capable of, so I was an idiot for not letting you know I was there � and I�m not here looking for Dom Coll. I found out that you�d gotten away from that noble who claimed you, so I waited here in the hopes that you would come back, even for just a few minutes.�

You're a freaking Earth magic user, Meerk. Tracking a living creature is LITERALLY your aspect's speciality. Why would you need to do something this dumb? It only worked because of Naran's illogical decision to NOT take the packed bags and Tamrissa's convenient recollection of Jovvi's stashed gold.

quote:

�I seem to have missed something here,� I said, shaking my head against the confusion.

A line of dialogue, a physical action AND an outright statement of the POV's emotions to convey the same thing which is already evident from the next exchange of dialogue.

quote:

�How did you hear about something that happened only a few hours ago, and what happened to the way you used to speak? And while we�re on the subject, why would you want to be here in the first place?�

�There are long stories behind the answers to each of those questions, and we don�t have the time to go into them now,� he replied,

Not-spoilers: there really isn't. We will get the requisite info dump in Chapter 11.

quote:

running a hand through shaggy hair.

I guess Green realized it's been a while since she tried to characterize Meerk. Given his significance to this book and the next, she should have made this moment work a lot harder.

quote:

�What I will say, though, is that my former accent was part of my disguise, and that I�m a member of an organization dedicated to finding out the truth about what the nobility is doing. We�ve suspected for some time that they�re using unfair and illegal means to keep themselves in power, but we haven�t been able to prove it.

In which case you guys are even more incompetent than the absolute incompetents that make up the nobility.

quote:

You and the rest of your Blending will be able to prove it for us.�

�And then what?� I asked with a sound of ridicule.

�You�ll expose them? And what after that? If you expect them to hang their heads in shame and meekly hand over the reins of power, you�re dreaming. They�ll have their guardsmen arrest the lot of you, and while you�re all being thrown into the Deep Caverns or sent to work in the mines, they�ll have parties to laugh at your naivet�.�

Tamrissa's not wrong.

quote:

�If there were only a few of us, that�s probably what would happen,� he agreed with a faint smile. �In point of fact there are thousands of people in our organization, all of them having been questioned by Middle talents in Spirit or Earth magic before being accepted as members. And since a large number of our people happen to be guardsmen, we�re not in as much danger of being arrested as you might think. But the same doesn�t hold true for you and the others with you, so will you please let me take you to a place of safety? I promise to tell you everything once we get there.�

But notice Meerk hasn't denied her guess at his dumb strategy. Not-spoilers for book 5: Tamrissa is right (because she always is) and Meerk gets a rude awakening and has a little character arc around this point so I can't really be mad at Green for actually attempting to do a character arc.

quote:

�I think we ought to trust him,� Naran said quietly when I hesitated. She�d come over to stand beside me when Meerk had appeared, and had heard everything he�d said. �I have the feeling that my friend�whose coach we�re using�is one of his members, even though she�s never said so.�

�I know who you mean, and you�re right, she is,� Meerk said with a nod. �So is the man driving the coach, so if you like you can speak to him first. But whatever you do, you must do it quickly. I can�t possibly be the only one who�ll think of checking this house.�

Right now I'm more interested in knowing what Meerk's plan was if Tamrissa refused to go with him.

quote:

�All right, I�ll take the chance,� I agreed, forcing myself away from indecision.

Translation: Green needed a convenient plot device to yeet her characters into the next part without requiring Tamrissa to do anything that would challenge her.

quote:

�I just hope for your sake that you�re telling the truth.�

�As justifiably nervous as you are, I don�t dare do anything else,� he said, looking soberly serious. �If you ladies will get into the coach now, we can be on our way.�

�One more question,� I said as Naran turned toward the coach. �Do you happen to know where Jovvi and Lorand are being kept? We haven�t been able to locate them yet.�

And by "we", you mean Naran, the other situationally convenient magical plot device.

quote:

�You and the two men in the coach were easy to trace, but we haven�t had the same luck with the rest,� he admitted heavily. �I have everyone able to walk, hobble, or crawl out looking for them, so hopefully we�ll know something soon. I promise we won�t give up until we find them.�

Jovvi and Lorand are being smuggled in a convoy with a whole lot of other people. How do you miss something like this when you have "thousands" of watchers keeping an eye on the arena, especially when the nobility aren't being particularly careful about what they're doing?

quote:

I nodded at that, the only thing I could do, then went and locked the door of the house before turning toward the coach myself. Meerk helped me inside, checked the boot to make sure everything was properly secured, then went to climb up on the box with the driver. When the coach began to move again, Naran and I exchanged a glance. She looked slightly less unsure than I felt, but we�d really had no choice. We needed a place to stay and we needed help in locating Jovvi and Lorand, and if Meerk had been telling the truth we�d found someone to supply both.

More like he found YOU.

quote:

But I couldn�t stop worrying about Lorand and Jovvi, and where they might be that no one could find them. If they were dead, Meerk�s people would have no need to prove anything against the nobility. If Lorand and Jovvi were dead, I�d see to it that there weren�t any members of the nobility left to be accused�.

Tamrissa exhibiting murderous inclinations towards an entire class of people on the same level as Kelsier in Sanderson's first Mistborn trilogy.

Summary:

Day 23 (?)
Tamrissa/Rion/Vallant regains consciousness and discovers she's/he's been taken as concubine/captive/sex slave by Lord Lanir, the Seated High in Fire/Hallina Mardimill, his adoptive mother/Eltrina Razas. He/she drops a bunch of exposition about how he's/she's mind-slaved her/him and forbidden her/him to use her/his talent ever again with Puredan/jerk himself off. Except it doesn't work, since Naran, the greatest programmer of all time, discovered the secret to avoid becoming anybody's mind-slave in the last book�namely, they just need to be ordered to never obey any other orders ever again.

One afternoon chilling out in a gaudy bedroom later, and Tamrissa's got all her mental faculties and her talent back. During dinner, she is forced to experience an Obvious Plot Recap as well as her father's own humiliation from Lord Lanir.

Meanwhile, Rion and Vallant are both dudes in distress, holding on for a hero.

Kambil and his mind slaves stake out Zolind's dinner party and puppet him around to a super lame script, in which Zolind lets loose about how he's really mad that Delin killed his lover, Ollon, and that's why he'll never Seat any Blending with Delin in it. After this incredibly on the nose forced villain monologue, Kambil and co kill Zolind via a heart attack and leave, very chuffed with themselves.

After dinner, Lanir takes Tamrissa back to the bedroom with every intention of raping her violently but burns himself out trying to kill her once he realizes she's got her talent back. She escapes, after drinking two cups of tea, and is picked up by Naran, who has very conveniently done all the hard work of putting an escape and rescue plan together. They head straight for the Mardimil estate where Tamrissa rescues Rion from being beaten to a pulp by ~~Hodor~~ Hafner and then drugged into oblivion by threatening everyone with fire. Next, they head to the Razas estate and Tamrissa saves Vallant mid-rape (which, thanks to Vallant's situationally convenient claustrophobia, is less horrifying to him than the thought of being imprisoned in a box). He, of course, cannot cope with this blatant reversal of gender roles and proceeds to descend into :emo:

sulkery to bemoan the loss of his stature as a man, etc.

As a result, Tamrissa works herself into some truly farfetched conclusions about Vallant. They return to Tamrissa's house to grab a change of clothes and Jovvi's stash of gold. While they're there, Meerk reveals himself as the head of a commoner watchdog organization and convinces them to go with him.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 52 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes, Ditras, Rovelon

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 33 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Mardimil house in Gan Garee, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house, outside Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3; 1 in Book 4)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x2), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 126 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 60 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 19 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 35 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 133 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 70 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 76 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 38 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 10 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 23(5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 14, including 4 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 2 in Book 4, 2 of which are rape scenes)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)
FREEEEEDOOOOM! (Book 4: Chapter 6, Tamrissa; Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)
I'm nothing without my talent (Book 4: Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)

Possible fixes:
The worst thing about Green's narration is how there is no arc to it. Narration can be interesting! But to do that, you have to approach it with some structure in mind: there has to be a POINT to the narration. The narrative passage should be a bridge that takes a character from one mental state to another, not just a stream of consciousness list of reminders about about characters and plot points that have finally popped up again after hundreds of pages that we forgot about because they were boring and unremarkable in the first place.

Also, I change my mind: Naran should never have packed the bags in the first place. We should have had a frantic scene where they're trying to grab everything and Tamrissa's confronting the idea of actually being on the run, which is a prospect that should terrify her. She's never traveled! She's grown up cloistered as a piece of merchandise on Storn's shelf, and then has spent however many years being trapped in a sadistic marriage.

Naran, on the other hand, Book 5 spoilers has lived her entire life on the run so this is business as usual. We could have had a GREAT scene here, with these two characters being tense, on edge, having little conflicts over what to bring and what to leave behind. And we could have added more tension still, with Meerk showing up and them mistaking him for an agent of the nobility, possibly even some magical combat before he can prove he's a friend.

UGHHH. :bang:

What a waste!

# ? Oct 15, 2022 00:50

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER TEN

�I think we�re about to have some distinguished visitors,� Kambil announced softly to the others. They currently relaxed in the main sitting room after sharing a late breakfast, which they�d indulged in after sleeping late. �Four carriages have just come up the drive, with three people in each carriage.�

�An even dozen,� Bron remarked with faint amusement. �Are they counting on finding safety in numbers, or are they trying to impress us?�

�I�d bet on the impressing,� Selendi said as she rearranged her skirts. �If they were worried or afraid of us, they wouldn�t have come themselves.�

�And they wouldn�t have canceled the full meeting Zolind called,� Homin added. �Having found out that they no longer have a Seated Blending to work through must have upset them, so they�ve come to make their positions secure again.�

�I think I�ll ask why the rest of the Advisors haven�t come with them,� Kambil mused aloud. �I�m certain it�s because the rest of the Advisors were under Zolind�s control and therefore don�t want us Seated, but I�d like to make sure. It would be a shame to do away with people we might be able to make use of instead.�

We're about to have a confrontation between the ultimate powers-that-be amongst the nobility, the Advisory Board vs. the newly to-be-Seated Blending. This should be a tense, exciting scene, especially since we're in Kambil's POV, so it's a fantastic opportunity for us to get all of the intel we've been missing!

Not-spoilers: this is not going to be what happens.

Also from this point on, every single time we're about to have a confrontation between two groups, we're going to have to sit through this kind of preamble with the group. Every. Single. Time.

quote:

The others chuckled, understanding exactly what he meant.

stop writing like this!

quote:

Once they were Seated and had taken up residence in the palace, Zolind�s most loyal supporters would be seen to one at a time until there were none of them left. And the empty seats would not be refilled, not until they decided on the replacements. Letting the Advisors themselves choose their own membership had brought a lot of deadwood to their ranks, so from now on Kambil and his Blending would take care of the matter.

Feeling like Kambil's motivations did a complete 180 here. Book 5 spoilers maybe this is Grammi's influence but also we never get a distinct sense of POV so it's really hard to tell what's going on. I am writing this just having finished reading Nona the ~~Ninth~~ and boy, this is awful.

quote:

�Gentles, I have the privilege to announce a number of members of the Advisory Board,� a servant appeared to say, looking properly impressed as he bowed them into the room. Kambil rose to his feet to bow in supposed respect, making Delin do the same as the others followed suit of their own volition. It would be necessary to remember to make Delin move around a bit more than usual, just to keep their visitors from becoming suspicious.

In case you forgot that Delin's been totally mind slaved.

quote:

�Well, I see that what we were told is quite true,� the apparent leader of the twelve, Lord Velim Shoons, announced with the most hollow joviality Kambil had ever heard. �Our new Blending is still in their former residence rather than at the palace preparing for the Seating ceremony. We must discover the person or persons responsible for this affront to them, and have them properly punished.�

Velim SHOONS? Seriously?

quote:

The men who had arrived with Lord Velim murmured their supposedly full agreement, doing no better with the charade than their spokesman. Velim was beyond middle years and rather stout, just as most of his fellows were, with thinning blond hair streaked with gray. Kambil had never met the man personally before, but observation from a distance had shown him to be one of those who reacted rather than thought. It was said that Zolind had allowed Velim his seat on the beard

That typo is in the ebook and makes me think :corsair:

quote:

because the man was easy to manipulate, then had regretted the choice when Zolind�s political opponents found manipulating the man just as easy.

Any credibility Zolind had in terms of being somebody politically savvy enough to be the power behind the power behind the Fivefold Throne is now destroyed.

quote:

�Lord Velim, this is a great honor,� Kambil said with another bow, seeing the fool�s chest swell over being recognized. �But I�m afraid I don�t understand. We were told returning to our residence was standard procedure, as arrangements had to be made for us at the palace. Wasn�t the truth?�

�Not entirely,� Velim said with the broad smile of a man who suddenly believes he�s found people he can control.

If we played a drinking game where you had to take a shot every time Green uses a dialogue tag like this, I think I'd die from alcohol poisoning after about two chapters.

quote:

�The five of you couldn�t be expected to know any better, of course, but no real harm�s been done. We�re here to escort you to the palace personally,

This is such a weird thing for twelve nobles on the Advisory Board to do. In what world does this make sense?!

Also, this isn't even the whole Advisory Board. No wonder the Empire is so dysfunctional.

quote:

while the servants pack your things. The coaches should be here at any moment, so if you would be so good as to ready yourselves �?� The man�s words actually ended in a half question, as though he�d already forgotten that he was supposed to be in control.

The stupidity quotient in this scene is rising by the sentence.

quote:

Kambil exchanged happy glances with the others as they all assured the fool that they would be delighted to get ready to leave, and then they excused themselves in order return to their bedchambers. In actual fact they could have locked out the door that moment,

Nothing in this whole scene makes any sense! They're nobility! They don't pack their own luggage! They have servants! Why would any of them be going to their bedrooms to get their coats? :wtf:

is going on?!

quote:

but it would never do to the group of fools know their visit had been expected. Kambil sent Delin to his own bedchamber while he, Kambil went to get a coat, then he followed Delin to the latter�s room. What to do with the man so completely under his control had been a disturbing question in Kambil�s thoughts, the decision he�d come to wasn�t wholly satisfactory. Once at the palace they would each have their own wing, and Delin would have to be as active in his as the others were in their own. At least until the ceremony was over, that is, and they were seated.

Theory: copyeditor zoned out while trying to read these books and just stopped being able to process words.

quote:

�Delin, old fellow, I have some good news for you,� Kambil murmured as he faced the man standing empty-minded in the middle of the floor. �I�m going to bring part you back for a while, as a joke on all those fools down-stairs. You won�t remember everything and you won�t be entirely free of control, but a lot of you will still be back. What do you think of that, hey?�

�Kambil, what�s happening?� Delin said suddenly with confusion, one hand going to his head. �What are we doing here in my bedchamber?�

This does not sound like anything Delin would actually say.

quote:

�We�re getting ready to be escorted to the palace,� Kambil replied, putting concerned worry into his voice.

Holy redundancy.

quote:

�Don�t you remember that we won the competitions, and now we�re to be Seated as the new Five? I agreed to wait for you out in the hall while you got your coat, but when you didn�t appear I came looking for you. You haven�t had another blackout spell, have you?�

�No, no, of course not,� Delin assured him hastily with a forced smile. �I�ve just been preoccupied lately, so I haven�t been paying the closest attention. Who did you say was here to escort us to the palace?�

�Twelve of the Advisors, led by Lord Velim Shoons,� Kambil supplied smoothly.

This name doesn't get any less ridiculous with repetition.

quote:

�Don�t you remember how they marched into the sitting room downstairs, all but holding out their hands with their Advisor�s rings like talismans in front of them? Most of them are extremely nervous about being this close to us, but they came anyway because they believe their political positions depend on it.�

We have no idea if this is true or not because we have no idea how the Advisors are selected.

quote:

�And they�ll do anything necessary to maintain themselves in place,� Delin said, nodding even as he sneered. �But as long as they�re determined to see us Seated, we shouldn�t be too critical, should we? Well, let�s not keep them waiting.�

Oh hey look! The copyeditor woke up!

quote:

He walked to the wardrobe where his coat hung and took it out, looking as though he hadn�t a care in the world. Kambil, who felt his confusion and fright clearly, knew better, but certainly wasn�t about to comment. A confused and frightened Delin would be a cautious Delin, asking no questions that would betray his weakness. Kambil would keep very close tabs on him to be sure he remained cautious, but for the rest of the time Delin would again be on his own.

FORESHADOWING.

quote:

They walked downstairs together, where their three groupmates waited with three of the Advisors.

"Groupmates"? Green on a roll here with names.

quote:

The other nine had returned to their carriages to wait, they were informed, mostly to keep the new Five from feeling outnumbered. They all chuckled dutifully at the joke, then went out to climb into their own coaches. Velim and the other two Advisors chose to ride in their carriage rather than join them in the coaches, to make sure they didn�t �crowd� the Five.

I am so confused by what this whole interaction is supposed to show us. We already know the nobility are dumb and incompetent.

quote:

Kambil smiled and thanked them for their concern, making no mention of the fact that they�d lied through their teeth.

�Who did they think they were fooling?� Bron asked once he and Kambil and Delin were settled in one of the coaches. �They�re obviously terrified of us, and probably wish they were anywhere but here.�

�They have reason to be terrified of us,� Delin murmured with very obvious satisfaction, gazing out of the window at the nearest Advisor-filled carriage. �Most of them won�t survive our Seating by more than a few days. They were the ones who allowed their underlings to throw our lives away, putting us in a position where our own people would destroy us even if our opponents didn�t. One doesn�t forgive something like that, not until it�s been fully revenged.�

quote:

�Which it will be,� Kambil said, exchanging a glance with Bron. It was annoying to have to put up with Delin�s madness again, but it would only be for a short while. After that Delin would sit quietly in his apartments when he wasn�t needed for the Blending, and his servants would be adjusted to the point of seeing nothing odd in his behavior. Until then the man could simply be agreed with, which would avoid awkward confrontations.

No! Don't! :doh:

awkward confrontations would be SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than the tripe we're reading right now.

quote:

With one Advisor-filled carriage leading the way and the other two following the coaches, they really did make a procession of their trip to the palace. The gate guards came to attention as the vehicles passed, making no effort to stop any of them. They�d obviously been warned in advance of the arrival, as had the palace staff. Dozens of them lined the approach to the main entrance, the rest undoubtedly lined up near the areas of their various duties. It would have been unwieldy having the hundreds of servants all waiting in the same place to greet their new superiors; dozens made the approach crowded enough, leaving barely enough room for the carriages and coaches.

...how small is this palace that mere "dozens" of servants makes the approach crowded? Tamrissa's house sounds bigger than this so-called palace, that was supposedly "really big" just one book ago.

quote:

They left the coaches to the applause of their audience, too much of which Kambil found to be either simply for form�s sake or actually hiding hostility. He hadn�t realized that that many palace workers would be displeased and disillusioned, but maybe the reaction was due to their predecessors. As soon as possible he would walk about and get to know some of the servants involved, and in that way would find out if there was anything which needed the attention of the Blending.

Not-spoilers: Kambil will do nothing of the sort.

quote:

The group of Advisors escorted them to the area where the Five�s individual wings began, but not simply for form�s sake.

In my head, I'm picturing the palace as like a Southern-style plantation house, a la Tara in Gone With the Wind, but the back is like...half of a starburst with 10 arms.

quote:

�Those servants will introduce themselves later,� Velim said with a vague wave meant to indicate the five separate groups of servants. �Before they show you around your new domains, though, we�d appreciate a few minutes of your time.�

Still super confused about how these meetings are being conducted.

quote:

�Of course,� Delin responded with distant superiority thinly covered by a charming smile.

is this dialogue tag?!

quote:

�In which of our wings would you prefer the meeting to be?�

�There�s a sitting room right here, meant to be used for purposes such as this,� Velim responded, indicating a doorway half a dozen steps short of the area of divergence. �We�ve arranged for tea and cakes to be provided, and if you desire anything else you need only ask for it.�

Okay, the palace is built like a mutilated starburst Tara but the inside is apparently like a conference center? :confused:

quote:

�If we desire anything else, we certainly shall,� Delin allowed regally, then led the way toward the sitting room. Kambil joined the others in following, happier now about having had to restore Delin. The man knew nothing about what they�d done since returning to the residence after the final competition, so whatever Velim wanted to �discuss� would come as a surprise to the man. Even though Kambil suspected he already knew what the Advisor had in mind�.

The �sitting room� turned out to be a good deal larger than ordinary, more like a conference room with easy chairs and no table than like anything else. Five of the chairs stood together in a row facing all the rest, and Delin headed directly for the set of five. Kambil let him seat himself in the center chair before sitting down beside him, then they all took a moment to tell the servants how they liked their tea. After another moment the small army of servants had brought their tea and left, and Velim cleared his throat.

This is that moment right before an all-day board meeting when the interns are running around getting everybody's coffee orders, except it's TEA.

quote:

�As I said earlier, we apologize for the unconscionable delay in bringing you here,� he began, obviously trying not to sound tense and nervous. �To make up for the unintended slight, we�ve arranged for you to move directly into your various wings of the palace, and the Seating ceremony has been scheduled for tomorrow morning. Anyone of any importance will certainly be there, and two days after that we�ll hold the public ceremony.�

...this is basically a coronation. You don't just schedule a coronation with a few days' notice!

quote:

�Won�t the current Seated Five be annoyed at having to share their wings?� Delin asked after sipping his tea. �And I do hate to be indelicate, but it�s impossible to miss the fact that Advisor Zolind isn�t among you. Does he intend to repair his absence now by coming to the ceremony tomorrow, or will he be �regrettably detained� the way he clearly was today?�

Delin doing a pretty good job for somebody who's missing a huge chunk of time!

quote:

�There is�ah�sad news where Lord Zolind is concerned,� Velim replied after exchanging a glance with one of his brother Advisors.

In Green's books, everybody is brother and sister.

quote:

�Last night our good friend passed away, apparently from heart failure. His send-off cremation is tonight, which is why the Seating ceremony has been delayed until tomorrow.�

�That�s distressing news,� Kambil said as the others exclaimed in shock, only Delin�s surprise being real.

If any of the Advisors have Earth or Spirit magic, your ruse would be up immediately.

quote:

�Advisor Zolind worked with us through most of the time of the competition, and we upheld our end of the bargain we made with him. I assume that your being here means you�re prepared to uphold his end for him?�

�Ah�we�ll have to discuss that agreement at another time,� Velim hedged, suddenly and momentarily panic-stricken. He obviously knew nothing about a bargain, and Kambil could see that he wanted it to remain like that. If it hadn�t been the perfect way to lever concessions from the Advisors, Kambil might have been willing to forget about the nonexistent bargain himself. As it was �

There is no reason that this should fly in a world where TWO out of FIVE aspects can literally tell if people are lying!

quote:

�You still haven�t answered my question about the outgoing Five,� Delin prompted, only partially recovered from the shock of learning about Zolind�s death. �You seem to have given us freedom of their wings, which, I�ve been told, only they can give. Are we likely to have to defend ourselves from them, or does the invitation come from them rather than from you?�

�Neither, actually,� Velim admitted after exchanging another glance with the same crony. �The fact is the previous Five have already left, apparently being anxious to begin some new plans of their own. They seemed to have expected to be able to leave as soon as the competitions were over, and decided not to change their intentions just because your group wasn�t immediately brought to the palace. They took only a very small amount of personal possessions with them, so don�t be afraid that they stripped their wings. I�m sure they�ll send for the rest of their possessions as soon as they�re settled elsewhere�.�

How succession works in Gandistra continues to make zero sense, especially when you consider that it's the strongest Blending every quarter century, except they never have to compete against the outgoing Blending and we've got nothing to indicate that talent deteriorates with age.

quote:

�I dislike saying this, but I�m afraid I�m beginning to grow uneasy,� Kambil announced slowly when Velim�s voice trailed off. It was sight of Delin�s now obvious shock which had caused the ending of the Advisor�s maunderings, and Kambil had been waiting to take advantage of the moment.

�Surely you see why I would be uneasy,� Kambil continued, projecting disturbance as he looked from one uncomfortable Advisor to another. �First you tell us that Advisor Zolind is gone, and now you say that the previous Five are gone as well. I have no idea what�s happening here, but I�m afraid �uneasy� was much too understated a choice of words. I hope everyone understands that we will defend ourselves if necessary?�

Many of the Advisors began to assure him immediately that that would not be necessary, including a brow-mopping Velim. The gist of the comments was that nothing was happening, nothing but a string of odd occurrences. Some of them even seemed to believe that, but most of them were frightened and worried.

Reminder that this is supposed to be a group of the most powerful, politically savvy nobles in the Empire.

quote:

Kambil was delighted to see that, of course, but made sure not to let his expression reflect that delight.

The worst thing about Green's prose is sentences like these. She could have written a sentence of description that characterized both Velim AND Kambil AND conveyed Kambil's emotional state. Instead, we just get bland sentence after sentence with no sense of Kambil's personality and then we're TOLD about how delighted Kambil is and how he doesn't let it show on his face.

:ughh:

quote:

�Well, I believe it�s time for us to go,� Velim said as he rose to his feet, the others quickly following his example. �Would you like us to escort you back out to the beginning of your respective wings?�

All this to literally say "your Seating ceremony is tomorrow". I want the time I spent reading this chapter back.

quote:

�Thank you, but I believe we�ll remain here for a few moments longer,� Kambil replied, showing a still-disturbed smile. �It will probably be best if my groupmates and I establish a loose link, to be certain we remain in touch with one another even after we separate. That way we can Blend instantly if it should become necessary ��

Kambil let his words trail off as his gaze moved among the twelve men, and most of them obliged by paling a bit before heading for the door. Even Velim found it impossible to do more than nod a bit before lumbering after his associates, and a moment after the door closed Kambil showed a much better smile.

Annnnnd cue the mandatory debrief where they're all going to contribute one observation each and pat themselves on the backs.

quote:

�None of them made the least attempt to listen at the door, nor are any of the servants close enough to hear us,� he told his groupmates. �Did you see how frightened they became at the idea of us linking? I got the distinct impression that their previous Blending never did anything like that, which explains part of their overall nervousness.�

�And the rest of it is probably explained by the fact that we�re all High talents,� Bron said with faint amusement from Kambil�s left. �It suddenly occurred to me that no other chosen Blending could have been the same, not when the Advisors intended to use them rather than serve them. We weren�t supposed to survive, but now that we have and are also to be Seated, they have to find a way to deal with us.�

In case you've forgotten everything that happened in the entire series to date. Also: two.

quote:

�I really sympathize with those poor dears,� Selendi said with a laugh from her place to Delin�s immediate right. �They have to have a Seated Blending in order for them to continue to run the empire, but the only Blending available is one which is far too strong for them to control easily. I wonder what they�ll do to try to force us to obey them� and who they�ll use to make the attempt.�

Three.

And I still want to know why Zolind's plan of "just kill them and Seat any random 5 people" isn't viable. They were literally competing as anonymous white-robed figures under team names "noble" vs "commoners". Nobody knows who any of them are.

quote:

�We�ll certainly find out after the ceremony tomorrow,� Homin, equally amused, said from the seat beyond Selendi�s. �We probably aren�t supposed to know it, but in the past there�s only been one ceremony. Saving our public Seating for another time probably means they intend to bargain with us, our complete cooperation in return for their allowing our Seating to become completely official. I wonder how they think they can keep it from happening.�

Four. The more you think about the logistics, the more contrived the whole thing is. Also spoilers for Book 6 the Seating ceremony is a huge to do about nothing and is the most anti-climatic thing ever.

quote:

�I�m sure they have some plan, which is why I let them know we can link,� Kambil replied, sharing the general amusement. �They were probably counting on tackling us one at a time, but now they know that won�t be possible.�

�How can all of you find this funny?� Delin suddenly demanded, his inner thoughts in complete turmoil. �If we don�t agree to their terms they won�t let us be publicly Seated, but if we do we�ll be completely powerless. And why haven�t we linked yet the way you said we would?�

Five! And Delin suddenly becomes an idiot again.

quote:

�Delin, we�re not going to link,� Kambil explained as he automatically calmed the fool�s agitation. �If we do we�ll be wasting our strength, especially since I intend to keep alert against any sort of attack. If someone tries something I�ll initiate the Blending, which will protect us from anything they care to try. You do remember that we can Blend even when at a distance from one another?�

How does Kambil plan to do this while he's asleep?

quote:

�And don�t worry about our being powerless,� Bron added when Delin nodded jerkily to Kambil�s question. �They can threaten not to hold the public Seating ceremony, but they won�t be able to follow through on the threat. The only official power the Advisory Board has is through the Seated Blending, and that remains true no matter how far they�ve gone past it unofficially. If they keep us from being Seated, they�ll just be cutting their own throats.�

this is the most convoluted reasoning ever. Like, we're talking an entire Empire that basically runs according to the same set of rules that the Aes Sedai in the White Tower use as a basis for power (and the taboo around that in WoT STILL makes zero sense to me when it's such an obvious thing in-world). I can't follow any of the logic in here: these guys, save for Our Heroes, are currently the strongest magical talents around. And also the only ones who know how to Blend, since at this point all of their tutors are dead. Green's setting these guys up to be total despots and we do not need the number of pages she dedicates to this kind of faffing around.

quote:

�Yes, of course, you�re right,� Delin said after Kambil touched him with complete belief. �I�d forgotten about that, and I appreciate your reminding me. So let�s forget about those fools and go have a look at our new quarters.�

With that he rose from his chair immediately and headed for the door, leaving Kambil to exchange glances with the others before they also rose to follow. Delin was back to thinking of himself as their leader, but it wouldn�t be for long. And as long as they each had their own wings of the palace to live in, putting up with Delin would be a good deal easier.

I miss competent, scary-charming Delin.

quote:

Kambil smiled as his group of personal servants came forward to greet him and introduce themselves, and then he let them lead the way into his wing. After he had a look around he would find a comfortable spot for privacy, and then he would do some thinking. Any ultimata would not be presented by Velim, that was absolutely certain. They would be brought by the real powers on the Advisory Board, the men who were closest to the late Zolind and who hadn�t shown themselves today.

He�d been planning to do away with those men, but now Kambil smiled again as he reconsidered his options. Some of them would certainly prove useful to him, and if he found it possible to take control of them, he�d have no need to deal with incompetent bunglers like Velim. In fact he�d be able to rid the Board of all its deadwood, which would be just as satisfying as ridding it of strong opposition. Yes, he�d definitely have to think about that�

This. THIS. So much wasted potential. This is the alternate storyline I want.

quote:

Delin made himself comfortable with a cup of tea in the beautiful little study while a meal was being prepared for him, enjoying being alone after that tour.

Just randomly changing POV now without a section break!

Fonda Lee does POV shifts seamlessly and to great effect. Green does not.

quote:

He�d never really stopped to think about it sooner, but the term �wing� actually meant what it suggested. There were thirty bedchambers in his wing, most of them part of actual apartments, and that didn�t count servants� quarters. The kitchens were enormous, there were four dining rooms of varying sizes, and two gigantic ballrooms. There were also three libraries, four conference rooms of different sizes, and half a dozen small meeting rooms, none of which included his private suite.

This place is a security nightmare.

quote:

The tea in his cup tasted better than any tea he�d ever had, especially since he�d taken the trouble to check it with his talent before drinking it. He�d do the same with the food they brought, and then he would enjoy it even more than the tea. He�d finally made it to where he belonged, to where he deserved to be, and he had no intention of denying himself a single moment of the pleasure.

TEA.

quote:

Despite the fact that the Advisors would try to take it away from him. Delin�s fist clenched in fury as he remembered that, also remembering how lightly his groupmates had taken the danger. Apparently they were too innocent to understand just how difficult the Advisors could make life for them, which was why it was a good thing he was their leader. He knew trouble when he saw it, and was also prepared to do something about it.

I'm on the verge of tears switching back to this drivel after reading Tamsyn Muir's amazing writing. :bang:

quote:

A smile finally turned Delin�s lips, brought about by the discovery of the one feature of his wing that he�d taken the trouble to ask about : the section of his personal guard used for political assassinations. He�d discovered their existence by the merest accident, having thumbed through the private journal of the late husband of one of his group of older women. The man had found out about the assassins and had feared he�d become one of their victims because of the knowledge, and there the journal had abruptly ended.

seriously how is personal security in the Blendingverse not a huge business?

quote:

Delin had asked the woman how her husband had died, and she�d told him the death was perfectly natural. She�d also told him that no one else had read the journal, and she�d even forgotten it was there. The slut was such a woolhead that when Delin took the journal with him, she�d never noticed. After reading it carefully Delin had destroyed it, making sure in that way that no one else would be able to discover what he had.

...except for whoever you asked to confirm this for you.

quote:

And now he stood in a position to make use of his knowledge. He�d spoken to the head of his guard only briefly, but certainly long enough to determine that there would be no hesitation on anyone�s part in accepting his orders. They would do exactly as he told them to, and the orders he gave after he finished his meal would be a schedule for tomorrow, to be carried out after he and the others were Seated.

If the Blendings for the last two centuries have been corrupt nobles and nobody knows anybody who ever survived the previous competitions and each of the Blendings had access to five assassination hit squads, how the hell did the Advisory Board ever maintain power to control this process let alone this charade? Did none of the outgoing Blendings ever think, gee, let me just keep assassinating people so I can stay in power?

I refuse to believe nobody ever thought of assassinating Zolind with their hit squad before.

quote:

But tonight, tonight would be the sublime end to a lifetime of fear and misery. Delin�s heart beat faster at the thought of it, excitement and delight causing his blood to rush about. Tonight he would have his parents brought to him secretly, gagged, of course, and he would sit and watch as they were slowly put to death. His mother, the slut, deserved death for never having protected him, but his father � as long as his father continued to live, Delin knew he would never find it possible to breathe freely.

I know this is meant to be a "look at what a horrible, messed up person Delin is" moment.

It is not landing at all, because this is just...cartoonishly villainous.

quote:

Tonight would be marvelous, then, and afterward he�d have to think about seeing to Kambil. He was certain he�d meant to do something about the man sooner, and couldn�t imagine why he hadn�t. Ah well, tomorrow was another day, with any number of days coming after that�.

Summary:

Day 24
Kambil temporarily lets Delin off his mind slave leash when a bunch of old white dudes a.k.a. the incompetent subset of the Advisory Board show up on their doorstep to escort them to the palace and inform them they'll be Seated in a few days�because in the Empire of Gandistra, apparently it is normal for the most powerful nobles around to play flunkies. Also Delin gets very excited by the fact that he has a private hit squad and sends them off to assassinate everybody on his kill list.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 53 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes, Ditras, Rovelon, Lord Advisor Velim Shoons

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 33 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Mardimil house in Gan Garee, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house, outside Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3; 1 in Book 4)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x2), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 129 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 61 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 19 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 36 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 133 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 72 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 78 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 38 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 10 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 24(5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 14, including 4 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 2 in Book 4, 2 of which are rape scenes)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)
FREEEEEDOOOOM! (Book 4: Chapter 6, Tamrissa; Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)
I'm nothing without my talent (Book 4: Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)

Possible fixes:
In this entire, 4,287 word chapter, nothing meaningful changes. They move to the palace, a date has been set for their Seating, and Kambil lets Delin off the leash. It sounds like change, but it's not. It's just a series of plot points. Neither of the scenes evoke any emotion in me as a reader and that's why I'm bored. Despite my nitpicking on how none of it makes sense, I don't think the problem is with the plot points. I think it's a POV choice problem, and flowing from there, a scene choice problem.

In an interview with Green linked in the OP, she said that this story demanded multiple POVs. It does, but not in the way she thinks it does. This chapter, like the Vallant rescue chapter, would have been so much better from Velim's perspective for this specific sequence of events. Being in Kambil's POV tells us nothing new: we know the nobility are incompetent, we know that Kambil and co can steamroll everybody magically, we know Kambil's been controlling Delin. Being in Delin's POV for the second part doesn't tell us anything new either: we know he's unhinged, we know he's sadistic, and we know he hates his parents.

Velim, like Eltrina, could have advanced our insight into what's going on with the truly powerful amongst the nobility. The most powerful Advisor just died, very suspiciously. A new Blending not under their control is running around expecting to be Seated. He probably should have heard some reports about Tamrissa and co escaping. He probably has very specific instructions from the remaining powerful Advisors. His POV could have been written as "guy who really shouldn't be on the Advisory Board, knows it, and is getting the hell out of the Empire while he can because these people are insane and nobody can stop them" or as "guy who really shouldn't be on the Advisory Board, doesn't know it, and by the end of the meeting is terrified". Either way, it would serve the purpose of setting up Kambil and co to be despots that need to be overthrown for the good of the Empire.

The other good POV to do this from would be Delin's POV, of him coming back to himself after Kambil put him under control. Then you would have tension, because you've got Kambil feeding him a lie at the beginning, and you could have Delin potentially sensing Kambil's lying (because Earth magic), then you would get all of his inner turmoil and thoughts through the nothing meeting (which would actually make the meeting interesting, because Delin's trying to read everybody's reactions), and then you could end the scene on Delin figuring out Kambil has been lying to him. There's also the option of having Delin tell Kambil he needs a minute or something at the very beginning, a quick line to note that Delin speaks privately to the head of his guard, and then extend the end of the scene through to his parents being brought in. (And depending on how grimdark you want to go and how much of a character arc you want for Delin, have the torture scene happen on the page. Green, obviously, doesn't because she's not writing grimdark so it will all happen off-page and we just see characters reacting to it later.)

# ? Oct 23, 2022 11:52

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

Leng posted:

seriously how is personal security in the Blendingverse not a huge business?

It absolutely should be. In a world where you can literally detect lies, why wouldn't important nobles have mid-level Earth and Spirit talents in their retinues constantly to keep an eye on the people around them and discreetly signal, as well as watching out for mind control since it seems like nobody but a full Blending can use it en masse?

# ? Oct 25, 2022 04:03

kaom: Jan 20, 2007

This series has so much wasted potential. As soon as Kambil let Delin come back to himself I thought the whole point was to deceive the advisors, since Delin�s not lying to them. But nope! They don�t even try to detect that and the others are all there knowingly lying anyway. :sigh:

# ? Oct 25, 2022 08:38

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

It's not even 'they might notice Delin's not being a psychotic narcissist', because they'd absolutely notice the wild personality changes in the other three.

# ? Oct 31, 2022 08:44

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

quote:

CHAPTER ELEVEN

It felt as though the coach ride lasted forever, and I couldn�t keep from dozing for shorter and longer periods of time.

What does this even mean?

quote:

Naran had fallen asleep not long after we left my old neighborhood, and Rion and Vallant Ro hadn�t awakened at any point. I felt completely alone again, but touching the power made the loneliness slightly more bearable. It also helped that Meerk was there for us, assuming he�d been telling the complete truth. If only Jovvi or Lorand could have been there to confirm what Meerk had said�

I sighed over that, then impatiently reminded myself how useless wishing was. If Jovvi and Lorand weren�t lost somewhere, we wouldn�t have needed help from anyone. Naran had tried to say she knew they weren�t dead, but thinking about it let me know the same thing with a good deal more certainty. I�d suddenly understood that I would be immediately aware of their death, and that no matter where our enemies had hidden them.

What? How would Tamrissa be immediately aware of their death?

quote:

The comfort of that thought let me nod off again, but as soon as our rate of motion changed I awoke again. The coach had begun to slow, and the darkened neighborhood showed hulking warehouses standing silent all around. Some of them looked abandoned, while others were littered with debris showing how casually uncaring their users were. There was no pride of ownership visible�if the owners of warehouses ever did show pride. I�d never been anywhere near a neighborhood like that before, so I had no idea how such people thought.

I hate being in Tamrissa's POV.

quote:

The coach passed an intersection of streets at the slower pace, then slowed even more as we approached the middle of the block. Meerk, who had been riding on the box with the driver, dropped off the coach at a run, and not just to maintain his balance. He continued to run until he reached a wide door in one of the buildings, which he then drew open. I didn�t know how really wide it was until the coach passed through with inches to spare, taking us into a dim, vast, lanternlit area. As the driver pulled his horses to a stop, I heard the wide door being closed behind us.

�Where are we?� Naran asked sleepily, straightening up in the seat. �Have we gotten there yet?�

�I�d say yes, we�re there, but don�t ask me where �there� is,� I responded, trying to see into the shadows of the immense building.

It would have been smart if one of you tried to stay awake to see where they were taking you.

quote:

�And people are starting to appear from somewhere, looking as sleepy as you sound.�

�Have you gotten any sleep?� she asked softly as I watched Meerk approach one of the newcomers and begin to speak to him. �I know you�re supposed to guard the rest of us, Tamrissa, but you can�t do that if you�re falling off your feet.�

Honestly, she was doing a pretty terrible job of it.

quote:

�Since I�m not currently on my feet, I don�t think we have to worry about it,� I commented, paying more attention to Meerk and the man he spoke with. The conversation was too low for me to hear, but they didn�t seem to be exchanging any secret nods to indicate prearranged plans, nor were they looking particularly furtive.

Just because you guys are terrible at intrigue doesn't mean other people are. (Not-spoilers: Meerk is not doing any intrigue though.)

quote:

The man rubbed his eyes while listening to Meerk, nodded as he ran his hands through his hair, then turned to a group of other men while Meerk headed back to the coach.

�Paisin tells me there are quarters ready for you,� Meerk said when he reached us, looking up first at me and then at Naran. �They�d given up expecting us anymore tonight, but the quarters are still available. There�s also food in case you�re hungry, but first we have to get the men and your luggage out of the coach. The driver needs to be out of here before the neighborhood starts to wake up, which happens extremely early.�

�I thought the area was abandoned,� I said, moving toward the door he�d opened and beginning to climb out of the coach. �Recently abandoned, possibly, but definitely no longer in use.�

�None of it�s abandoned, including this warehouse,� he replied, helping me to the ground before turning to offer Naran the same assistance. �When the workday starts, our people will start with it. Wagons will come with shipments of produce to be unloaded, and later on empty wagons will come to pick up what was unloaded. No one knows that part of each shipment stays here to be used by our own people, but then it�s no one�s business but ours.�

So you guys are just forging all the bills of lading and the invoices then? Real answer: Green probably doesn't understand how the three-way match works. That, or perhaps Gandistra never developed the control that is the three-way match, considering their universities also never developed a proper citation system.

quote:

�Is everyone here part of your organization?� I asked, watching the man Meerk had called Paisin

What is wrong with simply writing "Paisin" instead of this convoluted mess? :psyduck:

quote:

send people in different directions before starting to lead six big men toward us.

Everybody is a big, powerfully built man. Vallant is, Rion is, Lorand is, Camil is, Meerk is, basically everybody, except Pagin, I guess, because he's an hostler.

quote:

�They all seem to know what�s going on so I suppose they are, but what about the men who work here during the day? Surely some of them aren�t members.�

�We can�t afford to have anyone around who isn�t one of our own,� Meerk said, his attention returned to me now that Naran had also left the coach. �From time to time we transfer people elsewhere, and then we �hire� replacements for them. What we actually do is pretend to hire people we already know and have been waiting for, making it look as though there�s a normal turnover in our workers. Dama Domon, Dama Whist, allow me to introduce my second-in-command here, Paisin Phile. You�ll also meet the others, but tomorrow�s soon enough.�

Paisin Phile!? :doh:

quote:

�We�re very relieved to see you ladies, and the gentlemen as well,� Paisin Phile said politely. He was a tall, thin man who looked as though he were weak-willed or possibly waspish, but his even, friendly tone and the smile on his long face belied that.

Oh I guess Green remembered that there are descriptors for men other than "big".

quote:

�We were afraid Alsin hadn�t been able to locate you, and you were wandering around the city only two steps away from being found and arrested.

This would have been far more interesting to read.

quote:

We ought to be able to keep you safe here, at least for a while. If you�ll excuse us for a minute?�

His request was just for formality�s sake, as Meerk�Alsin�had already said the coach had to be on its way. Two of Paisin�s men went to the boot for our bags, and the other four, working two at a time, got Rion and Vallant Ro out of their seats. Both men continued to sleep soundly, even while they were carried toward a flight of stairs.

�We have most of the upper floor fixed up for our own use,� Alsin said, gesturing me along with him toward the stairs. Naran already followed close behind Rion�s limp body, looking slightly less worried when a third man joined each group of two to help get the Unconscious men up the steps.

That typo is in the ebook.

quote:

�The front of the floor looks perfectly normal with crates and bales,� Alsin continued, �but those crates and bales are just for show. Behind them is where our people stay when, for one reason or another, they can�t go home. Sometimes, like tonight, they stay because there�s work to be done.�

We will never find out what "work" it is that Meerk's organization does.

quote:

�And what do you do when you�re not rescuing people who are rightfully the next Seated Blending?� I asked, finding it easy to keep the bitterness out of my tone. I felt much too tired to be bitter, but possibly tomorrow I�d be able to manage it.

�What do you mean, rightfully the next Seated Blending?� he asked, staring at me with a frown. �You and the others lost the competition, but you�re much too valuable in spite of that to let the nobles dispose of you. That�s why we worked to keep track of you afterward�I�m babbling. Please tell me what you meant.�

�I meant what I said,� I replied with a shrug, stopping near the stairs to give the men doing the carrying a chance to get up them. �We were about to win the competition, we knew it beyond all doubt, and then suddenly we were unconscious. I asked Lanir about it before I left, and he admitted they�d put hilsom powder in our underclothes. When it became clear that we would win, they had some talents shake the underclothes so we�d breathe in the powder.

Hearing this for the fifth or whatever time it is doesn't make this sound any less stupid.

quote:

Once it forced us loose from our abilities, Middles in Earth magic put us to sleep. That�s why we dropped as though poleaxed, and that�s why we stayed down.�

When he heard that he growled under his breath, looking as though he would prefer to snarl.

�Excuse me for that,� he said after a moment, his anger under slightly better control. �We were sure they couldn�t possibly do anything underhanded with thousands of people watching, but they did it anyway. And the neutral judges were a waste of time, with their talk of needing to be circumspect and not arguing about what they were allowed access to! We can�t be unreasonable, they always insist�! I should have remembered what happened at the challenge for Seated High in Earth magic�.�

�I can�t see how you could have prevented what happened without you and your people being in power,� I said, understanding his anger all too well. �They had everything their own way, but it won�t be the same the next time we go up against them.

This confrontation in Book 5 is going to be stupid beyond belief.

quote:

Why were you able to trace me and Rion and Vallant, but not Jovvi and Lorand?�

�We had people watching the amphitheater, of course,� he answered, only partially distracted from his irate regrets. �You and one of those men were taken away from it in private carriages, and the House insignia were perfectly clear. The other man was put into a wagon with nothing to show who it belonged to, but a female noble questioned the wagon driver rather closely, and my watcher recognized her. Which was a lucky thing, because no one was able to follow the wagon. Or wagons, since Dom Coll and the other lady were taken away in wagons of their own.�

�Why wasn�t anyone able to follow them?� I asked, aware of the frown I wore. �Most wagons don�t move fast enough to suit anyone, since most people end up getting stuck behind them. It should even be possible to follow one on foot.�

�Normally you would be right,� he agreed with a nod filled with annoyance. �Following a wagon is effortless even if you don�t want to follow it�except when a large number of guardsmen stop all traffic to let the carriages of nobles go first. The wagons had already gone past the line of guardsmen, and by the time my people were able to follow, there was no sign of them.�

...you guys have MAGIC. Seriously no one in Meerk's organization is a Middle talent in Spirit magic? Jovvi escaped all that conditioning because she grew up on the streets; she can't be the only one. Is the "mental trail" that we saw Kambil follow that time Delin decided to go get his rocks off by killing someone something only a High can do? Who knows?!

quote:

�I�m suddenly furious with myself,� I said as an abrupt realization hit me. �If Eltrina Razas was able to have Vallant brought to her, she knows where he was taken. That means she might also know where the others were sent, and I made no effort to question her. Of all the stupid oversights ��

Finally sinking in, huh?

quote:

�No, you�re wrong,� he said, looking as though the same sort of revelation had struck him as well. �I�m the stupid one, because I was told when Dom Ro was brought to the Razas woman, and I made no effort to find out if the watchers followed the wagon back to where it had come from! drat! It�s too late to send for the men now, but first thing in the morning�!�

How does anything ever get done in this universe if everybody's always so incompetent?

quote:

He turned and took the stairs two at a time, able to go all the way to the top and beyond because the men with their burdens had already disappeared. A glance back showed that our coach had also left, and the wide door was once again closed tight. That left nothing for me to do but raise my skirts and follow everyone upstairs, although I wouldn�t have minded being carried myself.

All you did was sit in a room, eat, sit in another room, eat, sit in a room and touch the power, then walk down a driveway, get ferried around in a coach, and summon fire two more times without even breaking a sweat.

:ughh:

quote:

It been a long, tiring day, and was destined to be even longer.

By the time I reached the top of the wide staircase, the only one in sight was Alsin Meerk, striding back in my direction. All around were the shadowed outlines of the bales and crates he�d mentioned, looking faintly ominous in the dimness. At another time I might have felt nervous, at least until I saw Alsin Meerk�s expression.

�Dama Domon, I�m so sorry!� he apologized even before he reached me, embarrassed mortification riding him heavily. �I didn�t mean to abandon you like that, but finding out that we might not be at a dead end after all�! I usually have better manners than that, and I hope you�ll forgive my thoughtlessness.�

�If you happen to have a hot cup of tea hidden up here somewhere, I�ll probably be willing to forgive quite a lot of things,� I returned, adding a smile in an effort to ease his very obvious discomfort. �In fact, if you want the real truth, I�ll settle for cold tea and then simply warm it myself.�

Of all things, TEA?

quote:

�No decent host would put an honored guest to the trouble of warming her own tea,� he replied with a grin that softened his craggy features almost to the point of attractiveness. �If you�ll be so kind as to follow me, I�ll show you to where you can sit and enjoy that cup of tea.�

His bow and gesture weren�t entirely serious, but the courtliness wasn�t a complete mockery either. I acknowledged his gesture with a matching nod before going along, wondering where all the comforts he�d mentioned were hidden. The vast floor looked completely filled with all the things warehouses are reputed to be filled with, leaving nothing but narrow aisles here and there among the looming shadows.

�Here we are,� he said after leading me all the way to the right and in front of a larger than usual crate. �The �merchandise� stored up here was carefully made by some of our members, and are works of art that can even stand up to close inspection. This entryway, however, isn�t the same, so we keep it locked when it isn�t in use.�

As he spoke he pushed on the front face of the crate, and it swung silently inward. That made a doorway almost as wide as the one we�d come into the warehouse through, one which showed a good deal more light and warmth beyond it. Alsin gestured me forward with a smile, so I stepped in and looked around while he closed and locked the unusual door behind us.

How does Green make even secret entrances in clandestine warehouses sound boring? :confused:

quote:

From where I stood it was possible to see nothing but two long corridors, one stretching straight ahead on my right, and the second doing the same to the left. We stood in a fairly wide entrance area that was lit with lamps, more lamps spaced along the walls of both corridors. There was nothing in the way of decoration to be seen, and in fact the place looked as though it were made of crate facings.

If we just deleted half the words, it'd read so much better: "Two long corridors stretched right and left from the wide entrance."

I can't do anything about the other bit of description except rewrite it: "Lamplight flickered over the walls which were made of crate facings."

It's still boring.

quote:

�Your friends were taken that way,� Alsin said, pointing up the corridor to the right. �I�ll show you where they are on the way to that hot cup of tea, so you won�t spend your time wondering.�

I appreciated the thoughtfulness of that, once again finding myself surprised that this was the same man who had brought Hat to the residence and then had threatened Lorand. Remembering that, I had a sudden idea.

�You didn�t just happen to get involved with Hat, did you?� I said, trying not to sound accusing. �You deliberately did something to make him beholden to you, just to gain access to us.�

�The opportunity was much too good to pass up,� he admitted, looking a bit shamefaced. �We don�t often get access to those who test for High, and the reason for that is another story. When I came across that boy trying to drown his sorrows in drink while gambling away every copper he had, I believed his claim about having a friend who had certainly passed the test.

YOU HAVE EARTH MAGIC. You didn't need to believe anything, you literally know how to tell if he's lying.

quote:

No one else believed him, though,

Nobody else in that tavern had Earth or Spirit magic?!

quote:

so I had no trouble becoming the one he lost his money to. It was a good thing I did, too, because he was making every effort to cheat.�

�I can�t say I�m surprised,� I commented, glancing through the occasional doorways we passed on our left. Most of them were empty, but one held Paisin and a group of men seated around a table. We seemed to be in an area of conference rooms,

Green has a thing for conference rooms and BDSM. I'm pretty shocked that there are no BDSM scenes in conference rooms in these books.

quote:

and I wondered if Paisin was in the process of passing on whatever orders Alsin had given him.

�The boy wasn�t a particularly nice person,� Alsin agreed with a sigh. �He kept muttering things about how Dom Coll had stolen his rightful place, so when his debt to me mounted really high, I was able to order him to a place where he would see all the hopefuls pass by in their coaches on the way to their practicing. That was how he spotted Dom Coll, whom he immediately pointed out to me. I told him I knew the coach driver, which wasn�t a lie, and was able to put him in contact with Dom Coll that way. I went along the second time to make a contact of my own, which worked out better than I could have hoped.�

�Were you ever able to locate Hat after that farce of a challenge?� I asked, suddenly curious all over again. �Lorand said you weren�t able to, but was that the truth?�

�I wish it weren�t,� he said, frustration clear in the words. �The boy disappeared completely,

Does no one in your organization know how to track people?

quote:

and I can�t help feeling that if I�d located him I�d have some idea about where your missing friends are. I also can�t shake the conviction that something is going on that none of us knows about, something the nobility is involved in that they don�t want us to know about.�

�Lanir said he had no idea where my friends were, but now I�m wondering if that was the truth,� I admitted with a sigh. �It might have been possible to force him into telling me what he knew if I�d tried, but now it�s much too late even if I wanted to go back to that house.�

�He�s dead, then?� Alsin asked after a very brief hesitation, obviously trying to be circumspect. �He was the Seated High in Fire magic, but you had no trouble besting him? That alone should be part of the proof we need�.�.

�It won�t really do you any good,� I told him, my head-shake having caused his words to trail off. �Lanir wasn�t dead when I left, just burned out. He was no more than a fairly strong Middle, but he knew I was a High. He tried to force himself past a Middle�s natural stopping point in an effort to match and defeat me, but ended up burning himself out instead. We can�t really say I bested him, because I never had the chance to.�

�But you could have, couldn�t you?� he persisted, looking as though he thought furiously. �That should be enough, especially when they promote his first alternate and try to protect the man the way they protected Porvin. A challenge has to be held no later than one week after the man is Seated, and if we spread the word it will be very well attended. We also have enough of our people in positions that will let us enter our own candidate for the challenge, and once their pet loses there won�t be anything they can do about it�

So many glaring plot holes here. If everybody can sense strength of everybody else in the same aspect while touching the power, how has this charade never been blow apart? But I mean, yes, let this happen, this would be interesting!

quote:

�Personally, I�d hate to be that winning candidate,� I said, trying to be gentle about bringing him down to earth. �Do I have to tell you what�s most likely to happen to the person? They�ll be able to insist on seeing to the winner themselves, away from all those witnesses in the audience. At that point they�d be able to do anything to him, possibly even causing a fatal �accident� after neutralizing him with hilsom powder. Do you really want to throw someone�s life away like that?�

�No, you�re right of course,� he admitted with a deep sigh, his previous enthusiasm dying. �As long as they�re still completely in charge of things, someone put into their hands would have no chance at all.

Argh stop doing this! :bang:

Let your characters do dumb things! Let your characters die in an attempt to overthrow the corrupt system! Let them learn from their mistakes! Let there be some conflict instead of boring chapter after boring chapter of your characters being ferried around in coaches to have meetings in coaches or to go to other meetings where they'll be sitting around drinking tea and talking about all the reasons why they shouldn't do anything. Geez.

quote:

It�s just that it�s now become worse than ever, to accept having them running things when I know for a fact that they don�t deserve to. And your friends should be in there.�

We�d turned a corner to the left, which, after a few steps, led to a widening of the corridor. Rooms stood closer together in this area, but the doors also stood closed�except for the one at the end, which didn�t seem to have a door. The room Alsin had pointed to was on the right, and I opened the door quietly to peek inside.

A number of cots were arranged in a row, six to be precise, and Rion and Vallant Ro lay stretched out on two of them. Naran lay on a third, but the cot had been pushed as close to Rion�s as possible, and she held his hand tightly between both of her own. She looked at me and smiled when I put my head in, so I returned the smile and withdrew again.

�I�m sorry I didn�t mention this sooner, but I�m afraid you�re going to have to find someplace else to put Vallant Ro,� I said once I�d closed the door again. �He can�t abide small, closed-in spaces with no windows, and if he wakes up in there he�ll suffer quite a lot. Is there anything you can do?�

�As a matter of fact, there is,� Alsin agreed, nodding as though I�d said nothing unusual. �Dom Ro isn�t the only man with a problem like that, and it made no sense to exclude a man from our ranks just because he has an unusual need. One of these rooms is built against a wide access-window, one that hasn�t been used since another warehouse was put up really close to this one. The window faces a blank wall, but if necessary someone could climb out of it and shinny down the pulley rope, which was left for precisely that reason. I�ll have him moved right away.�

It took more than 3 books to get the point of Tamrissa actually showing an inkling of concern for Vallant as a person.

quote:

We�d been walking toward the room without a door as we talked, and now Alsin moved ahead to enter it first. When I followed I saw a large room containing a number of tables and chairs, with another doorless entry directly opposite the one I stood in. Although there was seating for more, the room only had three small groups of men, seated separately. Some of the men ate and some simply drank whatever was in their cups, and Alsin had walked over to one of the groups. After he spoke to the three men, they nodded and rose and left the room the way we�d just come in.

�They�ll take him to the window dormitory right away,� Alsin said as he returned to me. �And I always seem to be abandoning you, so I�d better make immediate amends. The tea you wanted is right over here, and it can be joined by a meal if you happen to be hungry.�

�Thank you, but I�m not,� I answered, letting him guide me to the left to a long counter against the wall. The counter held the largest tea service I�d ever seen, with what looked like fifty cups without saucers. �Are you really expecting that many people to be thirsty during the night, or is that arrangement simply preparation for the morning?�

�A bit of both,� he replied with a smile as he reached for one of the cups. �We occasionally have people coming and going at all hours here, so it�s easier to keep things ready than to make them ready. Your tea, lady, and the sugar is right over there.�

I accepted the cup he�d filled while giving him a nod of thanks, then put sugar into the tea while he poured a cup for himself. My fingertips told me that the tea could stand to be a bit hotter, so when he put his cup down near the sugar I warmed his tea as well as my own.

WHY HAVE WE SPENT 331 WORDS TALKING ABOUT TEA LOGISTICS?!

quote:

One of the men sitting in the room gasped, and Alsin glanced at him questioningly until he picked up his cup again.

�Ah, now I understand why Gorliss was so surprised and impressed,� Alsin said with a chuckle. �You warmed our tea, and since Gorliss is technically on watch, he�s touching the power. I hadn�t remembered that his aspect is Fire magic, but now there can�t be any doubt. I think I�d better introduce you.�

Oh, right. It's been two whole chapters since we had someone remark on how incredibly strong Tamrissa is.

quote:

Just then the three men who had left abruptly returned, two of them carrying Vallant Ro�s still-limp body. The third seemed to be in charge of leading the way, probably to open and close doors. We waited until they passed through the room, then Alsin led the way toward the table where the man Gorliss sat.

�There are no others in the dormitory room he�s being taken to, so Dom Ro won�t find himself crowded if he awakens early,� Alsin murmured as we walked. �There are also special arrangements for food to be brought there, and if you like there�s a place for you in the room as well.�

�Thank you, but I prefer to stay with my other friends,� I replied, not quite able to produce a smile. Then I raised my voice a bit to add, �It should amuse you that your friend Gorliss here seems to be a stronger Middle than the former Seated High in Fire magic: And you can tell him that he needn�t hold to the power quite so tightly. I�m saving my strength for any nobles I happen to come across.�

That produced chuckling in all the men, especially the one who had been staring at me so intensely. Alsin introduced me to everyone, and the man Gorliss shook his head ruefully.

�I apologize for reactin� like that, ma�am, but you�re surely the strongest talent I ever did feel,� he said. �There�s some who tell me I�m a monster, but my strength compared to yours ��

He shook his head, and Alsin smiled in the same rueful way.

�I know just what you mean, Gorliss,� he admitted. �I used to think I had all the strength there was, and then I watched her friend Dom Coll at work. He made me feel like a Low talent, and he wasn�t even straining. When Dama Domon and the others finally get to take their proper place as the Seated Five, no one will have to wonder if they deserve to be there.�

337 words to establish how amazing Tamrissa is. Just in case you didn't know that you're supposed to love her. Also you guys will not, in fact, deserve to be Seated because you have not done anything to earn it, other than being born super awesome strong.

quote:

The men all agreed with that rather more strongly than I expected them to, and then Alsin excused us and led the way to a table a short distance away. He seated me before settling into his own chair, and then he smiled rather wearily.

�It�s been a very long day, so I imagine you�re glad to finally have the tea and chair you were promised,� he said. �Personally, I�m not tired at all, and if necessary I could just keep on going for another�oh, two or three minutes at least. As long as I spend the time sitting down.�

�I don�t know if I�m quite that strong,� I said with a smile I didn�t have to force. �If I didn�t need this tea to help me unwind, I�d probably already be asleep. Would you prefer to wait until tomorrow before telling me what your organization is all about?�

�I don�t have to be awake to talk about the organization,� he said after sipping at his tea. �I know our aims so well, I probably recite them in my sleep as it is.

Get ready for some infodumping.

quote:

Do you have any idea how hard it is for people to make something of themselves in our society? I�m not talking about people with no ethics or conscience, because people like that always manage to prosper�at the expense of those around them. I�m talking about your average man or woman, ordinary, decent people.�

�No, actually, I don�t,� I admitted, sipping at my own tea. �My parents are the sort you mentioned first, without ethics or conscience, and so are all their friends and acquaintances. Why is it so hard for decent people to get ahead?�

�The nobility is why,� he responded, bitterness creeping into his voice. �Everyone gets a basic education because the schools teach obedience as well as restraint in using one�s talent, but in order to go beyond the basics, you have to have a �sponsor.� The sponsor must be a member of the nobility, but you don�t even get to see him. You simply make your payment to his agent, the higher the payment, the higher up on the list your name goes. After that you�re allowed to pay through the nose for the education itself� and then just try to find a job where you can use what you learned.�

�What about those who don�t want a higher education?� I asked, only just beginning to understand how really sheltered I�d been. �There�s nothing wrong with opening a shop or providing a service, and a lot of people seem to have done just that.�

�No, a lot of people do it for various members of the nobility,� Alsin corrected gently, leaning forward to put his forearms on the table. �Not one man or woman in ten owns his or her own business. What they do is buy a license from the noble in charge of their section of the city, then they pay three-quarters of what their business earns to its real owner. All expenses are paid out of their end, and they�re allowed to live on whatever�s left.�

�That�s outrageous,� I stated, beginning to get angry. �No wonder they�re all so rich without having to lift a finger. But why do people stand for it? Why don�t they leave the city and move elsewhere so they can live better?�

�Where would you suggest they go?� he asked, smiling without amusement. �There isn�t a single part of this empire that the nobles don�t own, even if most of the time they live here. They have agents to represent them everywhere, so they don�t have to be on the spot to collect their gold. We might as well have brands on our shoulders and steel collars welded closed around our necks. We�re slaves to them in everything but name.�

�It�s not supposed to be like that,� I said with a shake of my head, the agitation growing. �I know there was a time when the nobles didn�t own everything, and we need to bring that time back again. What are you doing to make it happen?�

�One of the things we�re not doing is racing around like chickens with their heads cut off,� he soothed, his amusement for some reason returned. �There have been other organizations from time to time, but none of them were able to accomplish anything because they tried to attack the nobles themselves. We�re out to show that the nobles are maintaining themselves in power by breaking the law. If we can do that, then we can take the individual nobles down without their being able to scream about lawless rebellion. And with the law on our side, most of the guard will have to support us.�

�I don�t see things working out that way,� I said with another shake of my head. �Most people are content to live quietly even with things as they are, so you can�t expect support from them. If you come forward�with just your supporters�claiming the nobles are breaking the law, those same nobles will laugh and tell you to take them to court and then they�ll go about their business. That business will consist of delaying or outright squashing any charges being brought against them, in the meanwhile having you and your people quietly arrested. You can�t bring charges in court if you don�t come forward, and if you do come forward you�ll never live long enough to see those charges pressed. You need to do something else entirely.�

Tamrissa spends her whole life completely ignorant, without ever trying to discover any of this, gets one speech from Alsin and not only becomes woke, but also immediately starts wielding Facts and Logic.

quote:

�Like what?� he asked, the amusement gone again. �Recruit an army and depose the nobles by force? Not only does that go against everything we believe in, it just isn�t possible. It takes experience and training to use the talents of an army effectively, and no one among us has that. It�s been far too long since our empire had an army, so any veterans we might have recruited are long since dead.�

�How does the empire get along without an army?� I asked in confusion. �Especially since we�re supposedly still expanding into what used to be other people�s countries? No, never mind, the question isn�t relevant.

Which means, of course, it is extremely relevant.

quote:

What is relevant is that your plans will never work. I�m sorry to have to tell you that, but I prefer to hurt your feelings rather than stand back and watch you die. Thank you for the tea. I think I�m ready to sleep now.�

He rose when I did, but he made no effort to come with me when I left the room. He�d looked furiously unhappy, but he obviously couldn�t think of anything else to say in argument against what I�d told him. I suspected he knew as well as I did that his plan would never work, and had kept on with it only because no one had been able to think of anything better.

quote:

Opening the door quietly to the spartan communal bedchamber showed that Naran now slept as soundly as Rion. I slipped inside and closed the door again just as quietly, tiptoed to the door on the far side of the room in an effort to locate privacy facilities, and was glad to find them just behind the door. I used them quickly, then returned to the outer room where I chose a cot to lie down on.

We needed this entire paragraph about Tamrissa going to the bathroom...why?

quote:

I was hardly used to sleeping in my clothes, but if Naran had been able to do it then I had the hope of being able to do the same.

OH NO HAVING TO SLEEP IN MY CLOTHES WHAT HORROR :cry:

quote:

Hope � I lay on my right side, the tiny pillow under my cheek, my gaze on Naran and Rion. Although both lay sound asleep, they nevertheless continued to hold hands. That was probably what being able to hope did for you, which was why I�d never have what they did between them.

No, it's because you and Vallant don't actually have any basis for your relationship beyond that he thinks you're hot.

quote:

I could hope to fall asleep, but I�d never learn to hope for any situation which had the power to bring such incredible pain if it didn�t succeed. When it didn�t succeed �

I closed my eyes, but sleep was a very long time in coming.

Summary:

Day 24
Kambil temporarily lets Delin off his mind slave leash when a bunch of old white dudes a.k.a. the incompetent subset of the Advisory Board show up on their doorstep to escort them to the palace and inform them they'll be Seated in a few days�because in the Empire of Gandistra, apparently it is normal for the most powerful nobles around to play flunkies. Also Delin gets very excited by the fact that he has a private hit squad and sends them off to assassinate everybody on his kill list.

Tamrissa and co arrive at Meerk's super secret base of operations in some random warehouse in a place that�oh wait, nobody bothered to try and figure it out. They enter, Meerk gives Tamrissa a tour, takes her to the cafeteria for tea, so she can warm everybody's tea and have them all swoon over how strong she is. Alsin explains how society works to her; she in turn tells him he's an idiot for thinking that a commoner watchdog organization would ever be successful in holding nobles accountable for violating laws.

Counts so far:

NAMED ON-SCREEN CHARACTERS WHO WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN: 53 (24 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Mildon Coll, Phor Riven, Jeris Womal, Eldra Sappin, Fod, Lord Astrath, Torrin Ro, Vish "the Fish", Jamrin, Hark, Reshin, Fellar, Ennis, Vosin, Parli Hafford, Regensi, Weeks, Adept Aminto, Mem Follil, Toblis, Kogrin, Lemmis Admen, Miklas
Book 2: Nialla, Emar Rumil, Leta Vas, Grami Arstin, Deever, Pracer, Oshin, Arnot, Morin, Rilin, Kinge, Lomad, Worlen, Lidim, Arkow, Odrin
Book 3: Damilla Sytoss, Edril Lanton, Carmad Lestrin (minor spoiler - sorry, you're not going to see him again), Relana, Lord Anglard, Lord Fortner Oplis, Glindil
Book 4: Fasher, Wirn, Bowes, Ditras, Rovelon, Lord Advisor Velim Shoons,

TOTALLY INDISTINCT ON-SCREEN LOCATIONS: 33 (9 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3)
Book 1: Rincammon, Haven Wraithside, Tamrissa's house in Gan Garee, Port Entril, testing facility in Gan Garee, Regensi's shop, Ginge's tavern, Magross bridge, mastery facility outside Gan Garee
Book 2: Nialla's house, Vas residence, Weil residence, Arstin residence in Gan Garee, dining parlor near Tamrissa's house, shop near dining parlor, Naran's "house", noble antagonists' residence, the Seated Five's palace, the ballroom inside the palace
Book 3: a courtroom, an ampitheatre, Relana's house, Ollon Kapmar's house, Eltrina's house, a random noble's house, High Lord Embisson Ruhl's house, a random park, the amphitheatre
Book 4: Bedroom in Lord Lanir's house, Mardimil house in Gan Garee, Eltrina's disappointing sex ~~dungeon~~ closet, "small" dining room in Lord Lanir's house, Zolind's house, outside Lord Lanir's house

MEALS ON-SCREEN: 34 (15 in Book 1; 9 in Book 2; 7 in Book 3)
Book 1: Day 1 (lunch, dinner), Day 2 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 3 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 4 (breakfast, lunch, dinner), Day 5 (lunch, dinner), Day 6 (breakfast, lunch)
Book 2: Day 6 (dinner), Day 7 (post-mastery snack, dinner), Day 8 (breakfast, post-competition snack, dinner), Day 9 (breakfast, lunch, canapés at the masked reception at the palace)
Book 3: Day 10 (breakfast, dinner), Day 11 (lunch, dinner), Day 12 (breakfast x2), Day 22 (breakfast)
Book 4: Day 23 (lunch, a late afternoon bite, dinner)

EUPHEMISMS FOR BODY PARTS/SEX ACTS: 28 (9 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 9 in Book 3; 1 in Book 4)
Male: <character name>'s body (x2), discomfort (x1), manhood (x1), desire (x3), renewed need (x1), large and hard, the most perfect of men (x1), dignity (x1), conflagration raging inside (1x), his privates (x1), him (x2)
Female: womanhood (x2), entrance of ultimate bliss (x1), desire (x2), incredible tunnel (x1), womanflesh (x1), body (x1)
Sex acts: merged/merged our essences (x4), shared themselves/sharing (x2), exercise (x1), entering/entered (x3), fuse their flesh (x1), physical love (x1)
Orgasm: (ultimate) ecstasy (x2)

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT: 19 (3 in Book 1; 13 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
Male: love (x4), my fleeting love (x1), my lord (x5), my beloved lord (x3)
Female: sweet girl (x1), my sweet (x1), sweetling (x1), my love (x1), sweet lady (x1), precious lady (x1)

ANTAGONISTS: 34 (11 introduced in Book 1; 20 introduced in Book 2; 3 introduced in Book 3)
General: Unnamed Chairman/Ollon Kapmar (?) and the five Seated Highs in each aspect, Eltrina Razas, Bron Kallan, Selendi Vas, Homin Weil, Kambil Arstin, Delin Moord, group wearing gold and blue costumes at the ball (Adriari's Blending), Simin Dolf, Embisson Ruhl, Zolind Maylock
Lorand: Eskin Drowd, ~~group of mystery thugs who hold Hat's gambling debts~~ Meerk, Hestir, Morin
Jovvi: Allestine and her henchmen Ark and Bar, Genovir, Algus
Clarion: Hallina Mardimil, Eskin Drowd, Padril, Arnot
Tamrissa: Storn and Avrina Torgar, Beldara Lant, Odrin Hallasser, Soonen, Gerdol, Lanir (who is the Seated High in Fire magic and he's just made it personal)
Vallant: Mirra Agran and her parents, Wimand, Rilir

PLOTHOLES: 129 (39 in Book 1; 23 in Book 2; 56 in Book 3)
COACH RIDES: 62 (21 in Book 1; 25 in Book 2; 10 in Book 3)
MEETINGS IN COACHES: 19 (4 in Book 1; 10 in Book 2; 4 in Book 3)
OTHER MEETINGS: 36 (3 in Book 1; 12 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
INTERRUPTED MONOLOGUING: 134 (31 in Book 1; 31 in Book 2; 34 in Book 3)
"CLIFFHANGERS": 72 (18 in Book 1; 16 in Book 2; 30 in Book 3)
POINTLESS TAMRISSA NARRATION: 14 (11 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
TEA DRINKING: 79 (22 in Book 1; 26 in Book 2; 19 in Book 3)
BLATANT MORALIZING: 39 (19 in Book 1; 5 in Book 2; 11 in Book 3)
BATH SCENES: 13 (9 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 3 in Book 3)
WILFUL MISUNDERSTANDINGS: 10 (6 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 2 in Book 3)
MIND CONTROL: 24 (5 in Book 1; 1 in Book 2; 15 in Book 3)
BADLY WRITTEN SEX SCENES: 14, including 4 rape scenes (2 in Book 1; 4 in Book 2, including 1 rape scene; 6 in Book 3, including 1 rape scene; 2 in Book 4, 2 of which are rape scenes)
DON'T EAT THAT: 1 (1 in Book 3)
SPIRIT MAGIC/PUREDAN RETCONS: 1 (1 in Book 3)

REPETITIVE POV EVENTS:

Oh noes, a fireball (Book 1: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Pass or die (Book 1: Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Bathroom encounters (Book 1: Chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Don't rain on my parade! (Book 1: Chapters 19, 20)
Uniform fitting (Book 1: Chapters 20, 21)
Random encounters: Round 1 (Book 1: Chapters 25, 32, 33, 35, 38), Round 2 (Book 2: Chapter 21, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 40, 42), Round 3 (Book 3: Chapter 25, 26, 27, 36), Round 4 (Book 3: Chapter 40)
One, two, three, four, five (Book 1: Chapters 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35)
A favorite object appears out of thin air (Book 1: Chapters 36, 37 x2, 38)
Proof of mastery: Level 1 (Book 1: Chapters 39, 40, 41, 42, 43; Book 2: Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 18, 19), Level 2 (Book 2: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Animal cheer squad (Book 2: Chapters 1, 4, 5, 22, 24)
Hey I just figured out magical radar (Book 2: Chapter 15/Lorand; Book 3: Chapter 6/Jovvi, Book 3: Chapter 28/Rion; Chapter 30/Tamrissa; Chapter 39/Vallant)
Foot races: (Book 2: Chapters 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
You won! (Book 2: Chapter 38, 39)
Sex bingo (Book 2: Chapter 14, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 2: Chapter 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 41, Rion/Naran; Book 3: Chapters 11, Jovvi/Rion; 28, Lorand/Tamrissa; 29, Vallant/Jovvi; 40, Vallant/Tamrissa)
Will it Blend? (Book 3: Chapter 15, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Book 1: Chapters 27, Rion/Jovvi; 36, Jovvi/Lorand; Book 2: Chapter 13, Tamrissa/Rion; Book 3: Chapters 4, Tamrissa/Lorand; 11, Jovvi/Rion; 21, Tamrissa/Lorand; 22, Jovvi/Vallant)
Where/who am I?? (Book 3/Book 4: Chapter 49/Chapter 1, 5 times)
Oh, I am a prisoner (Book 4: Chapter 2, Tamrissa; Chapter 3, Rion/Vallant)
FREEEEEDOOOOM! (Book 4: Chapter 6, Tamrissa; Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)
I'm nothing without my talent (Book 4: Chapter 7, Rion, Chapter 8, Vallant)

Possible fixes:
We're doing a rebellion plotline here. Lots of things need to happen to overthrow an existing power regime. Why would you set up something like this organization and have them be completely incompetent? :doh:

There's no point talking about micro scene level fixes for this one. This is a plot-level issue that needs to be fixed at the book level so we'll save the discussion for later.

# ? Nov 12, 2022 08:54

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

The incompetence totally makes sense... if they're a stalking horse for either the nobles or one of the other countries looking to find actually competent dissidents.

# ? Nov 13, 2022 14:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:06

Leng: May 13, 2006; One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind

No other road
No other way
No day but today

Liquid Communism posted:

The incompetence totally makes sense... if they're a stalking horse for either the nobles or one of the other countries looking to find actually competent dissidents.

So later in this book, or early in the next, we discover that the nobles knew all about Meerk's organization and has been deliberately ensuring Alsin stays in leadership because he's an ineffectual leader for revolution purposes.

It's a great idea for his character arc but is so problematic in the context of what the story is trying to do in the page count that it has in the timeline that the plot takes to unfold. :sigh:

# ? Nov 25, 2022 06:31

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Let's Read: The Blending by Sharon Green

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