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Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

It's not a pedal device, but as noted, one of my haters? fans? random knowers? aliexpress/amazon review scammers? sent me this in the mail

i have no idea how or when i would use it and it seems pretty flimsy, but it's here now







https://i.imgur.com/7OKND4w.mp4

WOAH that setting is too high

ok


ok


OK


YOU READY??

https://i.imgur.com/XYxZytS.mp4

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Johnny Aztec
Jan 29, 2005

Set Phasers to FUN!

What is that cat's name?

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

if it was porn i was only gonna masturbate ironically

Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

Johnny Aztec posted:

What is that cat's name?

Bazooka

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

Party Time! Be excellent to each other.



Editing out a post I made. Pick can handle herself. Somehow I still forget that

Spinz fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Aug 9, 2020

JohnLovely
Aug 15, 2017


Grimey Drawer

ho g wild

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



it was me i sent the gently caress machine i own a gently caress machine factory

Akratic Method
Mar 9, 2013

It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.



I hope you left a positive review of the Morefeel DongFlailer 3000.

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006





And Im one of its frontline workers

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


Thread delivers

Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

Akratic Method posted:

I hope you left a positive review of the Morefeel DongFlailer 3000.

The scam is actually that they send stuff to a real American address but the contact info is theirs, so they can write a review "from an American" which is seen as more credible.

For example, Aliexpress does allow you to filter for "American reviews only" (or any specific country). So for whatever this thing costs, they can make a tailored review that appears to be from a real American customer.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

see that power control how off is right next to the lowest setting. thats how it should be on fans. i dont care about the engineering problems thats what you get paid for now get to work

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



nobody runs a fan on the lowest setting its fine the way it is

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


How does the cat rate it?

Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

The Management posted:

How does the cat rate it?

he rates it Not Food (0/10)

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Felt terrified clicking on this thread title even though I prob knew it was gonna be a pun. Also btw make sure that dildo is body safe it look kinda cheap ngl

Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Felt terrified clicking on this thread title even though I prob knew it was gonna be a pun. Also btw make sure that dildo is body safe it look kinda cheap ngl

there's no way on earth this is going in my holes. any of them.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

nobody runs a fan on the lowest setting its fine the way it is
ignore the nonsensical ramblings of this amish man

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

I bet you could beat eggs with it.

like for omelettes probably not your own eggs

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Pick posted:

there's no way on earth this is going in my holes. any of them.

That dildo look like the kind guaranteed to give you a yeast infection after the third use because your body juices have fermented a kind of proto-Osmosis Jones society within its countless pores.

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008




speed run this with one of those ads that dare you to not cum in 10 seconds

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!

Wedge Regret

Drunk me had a good laugh. Thank you!

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

Old Owl, a Lookout


Pillbug

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

That dildo look like the kind guaranteed to give you a yeast infection after the third use because your body juices have fermented a kind of proto-Osmosis Jones society within its countless pores.
They suggest you use a condom.

Yes, I searched for 'morefeel sex toy'. I know I'm not the only one.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


That the kind of dildo with a respectable family tree of blue blood bacteriophages sourced from only the finest anuses as it's been passed from Goodwill to Goodwill

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

Buy one of those hand-wavey spooky sound instruments...an osciliscope? Zephyr something? Whatever. You know what I mean.

And then put the dong in the receptive field area and let it go hog wild and wiggle its way to musical stardom.

OB-GYN Kenobi
Dec 4, 2017


I'm a human being and can't be bought or sold. Please remember that.

roomforthetuna
Mar 22, 2005

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!


Big Beef City posted:

Buy one of those hand-wavey spooky sound instruments...an osciliscope? Zephyr something? Whatever. You know what I mean.

And then put the dong in the receptive field area and let it go hog wild and wiggle its way to musical stardom.
I would like and subscribe.

Chewbecca
Feb 13, 2005

Just chillin' : )

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Felt terrified clicking on this thread title even though I prob knew it was gonna be a pun. Also btw make sure that dildo is body safe it look kinda cheap ngl

I was the same, thought it was either a historic thread or satire. Not disappointed either way

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006





Big Beef City posted:

Buy one of those hand-wavey spooky sound instruments...an osciliscope? Zephyr something? Whatever. You know what I mean.

And then put the dong in the receptive field area and let it go hog wild and wiggle its way to musical stardom.

A theremin and I think the dildo has to be wet to disturb the magnetic field

Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

Edgar posted:

Drunk me had a good laugh. Thank you!

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

Cat Army


Fallen Rib

That's the base model cock? Looks prety shoddy tbh. Must be a lot of upsells for the select buyers.

e: Oh it has a carrying handle, in case you need to take it on public transit.

dudeness fucked around with this message at 04:36 on Aug 9, 2020

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

Cat Army


Fallen Rib

Pick, this is asking a lot of you, but I'm gonna need you to duct tape your gun/taser/stun gun to end of this gently caress machine and turn it on full blast.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 29, 2005

Set Phasers to FUN!

Hey, after you get done milking that for the internet, how much to mail it to me?

The local BDSM group has been wanting to get their hands on one of these.

Akratic Method
Mar 9, 2013

It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.



Pick posted:

The scam is actually that they send stuff to a real American address but the contact info is theirs, so they can write a review "from an American" which is seen as more credible.

For example, Aliexpress does allow you to filter for "American reviews only" (or any specific country). So for whatever this thing costs, they can make a tailored review that appears to be from a real American customer.

Yeah, I have a friend who cheerfully participates in this stuff in exchange for free stuff. (You’re obviously a randomly chosen address, but there’s lists where you can volunteer for this too) I just think that for a lovely present like this gently caress machine, you should do them a solid and hold up your end of the scam.

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.







Grimey Drawer

Is that the limited edition one??

Inverted Icon
Apr 8, 2020


oooo titillating

Inverted Icon
Apr 8, 2020


What a duchampian conversation starter

Oh yeah, someone sent that to me in the mail. Not sure who.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009




Nap Ghost

dudeness posted:

Pick, this is asking a lot of you, but I'm gonna need you to duct tape your gun/taser/stun gun to end of this gently caress machine and turn it on full blast.

sorry to disappoint you but the taser just really hangs on this dong and saps it of its vital essence


https://i.imgur.com/9TpgLHY.mp4

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Inverted Icon posted:

What a duchampian conversation starter

Oh yeah, someone sent that to me in the mail. Not sure who.

just lol if you don't regularly get genital related items in the mail from strangers

i am drowning in cock rings over here and my pleas for the sender to reveal themselves fall on deaf ears

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dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

Cat Army


Fallen Rib

Pick posted:

sorry to disappoint you but the taser just really hangs on this dong and saps it of its vital essence


https://i.imgur.com/9TpgLHY.mp4

Thank you for trying, it's not your fault the dick is lacking integrity.

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