|
I hope you wanted feedback, because that's what I'm posting. The first half was a real smooth read for me until the kid's "Not exactly" line, which felt like a very calm response in a hectic situation. I also didn't really understand why the antagonist wouldn't be able to hit the plane if they started pulling up. After they land, and he comes after them, I'm starting to wonder - why are they fighting? I get that we're starting in medias res, and it's a good start that I enjoyed reading. As it goes on, though, I start to realise I have no idea who any of these people are. I don't know what their stakes are, there's little to identify with or root for. Although the wizard looks scary and there's an implication he's after them and they're just trying to escape, which is just enough - I would have liked more. The ending, the twist, I liked a lot. Nitpick: Personally I didn't enjoy the kid having the Oppenheimer surname, it felt unnecessary. I thought the story worked fine without it and I'm not sure what it adds. The poems at the end were a nice close. Overall I liked this, I'm glad I read it.
|
#
¿
Aug 13, 2020 01:52
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:11 |
|